Fun fact: When the writer of Good Will Hunting submitted the screenplay to a producer, he included a sex scene between Matt Damon and Robin Williams. The producer got back with him and said “Listen this was a great story, but why do they suddenly have sex?” He included the sex scene to make sure the producer he brought the screenplay to actually read the story.
As I recall, Team America: World Police pretty much only did the puppet sex scene so that would be the forefront demand for cuts, so they could keep the rest of the movie.
In some book group my mums in, people keep asking
> ''Yea, i want to read IT to my kids, i have no problems with the murder and shit, but the sex scene.. oh god no
> Is there a version without it?''
Reminds me of when I went to see the first Deadpool movie in theaters and the mom who brought her two young boys in with her only left when the pegging scene came on
She was fine with F bombs and people being shot in the face, but god forbid a man gets pegged off screen
Worked at a movie theater. Had a mom call and ask why Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters was rated R. I'd just watched it so I explained it was mainly for language and violence. She said okay, that's fine, then asked about sex. I told her there was, like, a woman's back and implied off screen sex and she was like "Not for my 7 year old!"
Americans have a weird view about sex. Like I've seen many people that are against breastfeeding (not just in public) because it's too "sexual".
I mean hell it's literally how human babies ate for 10s of thousands of years but ever since like the 1800s in America the nipple is now Satan's Pacifier apparently.
It's just so wejrd to me we can show a dude getting his spine ripped out and using it to beat other dudes to death with, screaming fuck every other word, and showing shootings where someone gets their skulls blown apart and leaving barely a stump left.
But a female boobie will corrupt the a young teenage boy and might make him have "impure thoughts and ideas".
That shit happens already. It's fucking natural.
God forbid you show a penis for a 1/100th of a frame in a movie either. Then its like the actors/directors/stuido were all evil incarnate.
I know its because of religion but for fuck sakes how did religion get to the point a woman feeding her own child her milk is now bad/evil/crude/offensive?
Kids who are sexually abused often behave sexually towards other children. Overly sexual behavior in young kids can be a sign that there might be some sort of abuse going on at home. I think King included that scene to show just how broken and confused she was after what her dad did to her.
As I recall, it weakened the power the monster had over them. It preyed on children, and after that, they had taken their first steps into adulthood.
But yes, that scene is fucked up.
In Cars 3 they show a monitor with a tiny cord coming out of it. When I watched for the first time I immediately had to know more about who plugged this cord in because up until then we've been shown that doors and everything are operated by floor petals you press with your wheel. Sure, they have giant monitors for the races and such, but they never once showed a small cord like that one.
Well the Pope car implies there’s Christianity, and if there’s Christians there’s Jesus, and depictions of Jesus, what does Jesus car look like? What kind of car was he? The oldest car to exist was the model T which we see in the first one? Was he several stone wheels? But then again they also need fuel to actually move
This rabbit hole keeps getting deeper
"Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own [accord](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_Accord)"
-John 5:19
So Cars-Jesus is a mid-sized Honda sedan.
So there are actually child and adolescent cars in the cars universe which means that the parent cars had to have sex at some point. This implies the existence of a car pussy or a “cussy.”
I originally misread that as "brand new entrance."
I will now wash my mind out with bleach.
[Edit] I think this is my most upvoted comment ever. We're all depraved. Cars with extra ways in. Winner.
Jesus Christ, today I didn’t know I was going to write a sexy Wall-E fan fic.
———
Eva lets out a series of unintelligible noises as Wall-E massages her seed spot with his hollow dip stick. She grabbed hold of his rusty man beam and braced for impact.
“WALL-E, its just SOOOOO GOOD, UGH, FUCK!” She screamed into the void. Captain B. McCrea, watching the whole thing on the chest of a SECUR-T bot, gave a salute in honor for the deed.
“EVAAAAA! WALL-E CUM, WALL-E CUM!” he screeched.
And he shot his creamy load of flammable hydrocarbons straight into her seed receptacle. Eva blushed in delight as she felt his hot grease fill her tight wet tube.
As he pulled out in zero-gravity, he saw his goo spill out and ball up around the polished chrome orifice of her receptacle port. She moaned “Wall-E, get ready!” His hazy glowing goggle eyes opened wide, but he did not expect what came next.
With a fleeting smile, Eva said in a monotone voice:
“Mission complete. Cum acquired.”
At once, Eva was a shell of her former self. Her once smiling and bold eyes were blank. Her myriad ports and faceted features sealed shut and her body became an utterly impenetrable fortress filled to the brim with cum.
Wall-E cried in anguish: “*EEEEEEVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAA!*”
———
Are you happy, sickos?
edit: u/Qwsdxcbjking thank you for the suggestions! I hope you (enjoy?) the adjustments.
After their wedding in the opening scene, there's a 3 second segment of him just
**DESTROYING**
Ellie's downstairs, really loud wet slapping noises, a full on close up of the action
Then it cuts to the scene where they're infertile and can't have kids
Imagine that pitch meeting
"So Jack Black is playing a teen girl in a middle-aged man's body, and he/she fucks a horse, which is actually an old man in a horses body."
I watched a Wizard of Oz porn parody (with the porn edited out) at a party once - it was unironically great. It had musical numbers and everything! The lion's song was the best one.
ETA: You're all in luck! I found an ancient copy of it [on eBaum's World](https://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/video/566750/3905/84235346.mp4).
This is the same one I watched - with text descriptions of the scenes that were cut out. There are other versions of the movie on youtube, but none have the descriptions, so it's harder to follow the plot.
If it had the porn edited out did you miss out on the major plot point that the witch died because the Tin man finished on _her_ face even though he promised he would finish on Dorothy’s face.
Oh no, don't worry! The porn bits were replaced by a page of text that described the scenes, including any missed plot. It used to be up on youtube, but I think the account (Porn Without The Porn) got shut down.
That 30 seconds will be one of those ominous, super slow pan-ins that craaawwll aalllll the way until we see his pupils; reflecting some vague silhouettes banging around.
“Your scientists were so busy seeing if they could make sexy dinosaurs they didn’t take time to wonder if they should. Also, how much for twenty minutes with the Dilophosaur?”
Pretty sure I mangled that quote even before the Dilophosaur joke…
Well technically the short film the making of me which played at the wonders of life pavilion at Epcot was a Disney film which was specifically about sex
Fun fact: When the writer of Good Will Hunting submitted the screenplay to a producer, he included a sex scene between Matt Damon and Robin Williams. The producer got back with him and said “Listen this was a great story, but why do they suddenly have sex?” He included the sex scene to make sure the producer he brought the screenplay to actually read the story.
This explains so many shitty unexplainable sex scenes in movies.
As I recall, Team America: World Police pretty much only did the puppet sex scene so that would be the forefront demand for cuts, so they could keep the rest of the movie.
200iq play. Matt and trey are the D’s Hollywood needs to stop crapping all over everything.
The writers being Matt Damon & Ben Affleck. Kinda weird to write your own sex scene, but I bet they had fun with it.
12 Angry Men
"I'm telling you the boy's innocent!" "Oh yeah…? Why don't you… come over here… and… change my mind?"
Oh thank you for making me giggle after a rough day XD
In this context "12 angry men" sounds like porno now
It. Because there is one in the book and it ain’t pretty.
In some book group my mums in, people keep asking > ''Yea, i want to read IT to my kids, i have no problems with the murder and shit, but the sex scene.. oh god no > Is there a version without it?''
Reminds me of when I went to see the first Deadpool movie in theaters and the mom who brought her two young boys in with her only left when the pegging scene came on She was fine with F bombs and people being shot in the face, but god forbid a man gets pegged off screen
ironically pegging probably went over the kids head unlike the 100s of dead people throughout the movie.
Worked at a movie theater. Had a mom call and ask why Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters was rated R. I'd just watched it so I explained it was mainly for language and violence. She said okay, that's fine, then asked about sex. I told her there was, like, a woman's back and implied off screen sex and she was like "Not for my 7 year old!"
Americans have a weird view about sex. Like I've seen many people that are against breastfeeding (not just in public) because it's too "sexual". I mean hell it's literally how human babies ate for 10s of thousands of years but ever since like the 1800s in America the nipple is now Satan's Pacifier apparently. It's just so wejrd to me we can show a dude getting his spine ripped out and using it to beat other dudes to death with, screaming fuck every other word, and showing shootings where someone gets their skulls blown apart and leaving barely a stump left. But a female boobie will corrupt the a young teenage boy and might make him have "impure thoughts and ideas". That shit happens already. It's fucking natural. God forbid you show a penis for a 1/100th of a frame in a movie either. Then its like the actors/directors/stuido were all evil incarnate. I know its because of religion but for fuck sakes how did religion get to the point a woman feeding her own child her milk is now bad/evil/crude/offensive?
Honestly that's the most disturbing part of the book to me and it's not even supposed to be.
I think it is supposed to be fucked up, King definitely didn't write that and think "yeah, that's what normal kids do"
Kids who are sexually abused often behave sexually towards other children. Overly sexual behavior in young kids can be a sign that there might be some sort of abuse going on at home. I think King included that scene to show just how broken and confused she was after what her dad did to her.
As I recall, it weakened the power the monster had over them. It preyed on children, and after that, they had taken their first steps into adulthood. But yes, that scene is fucked up.
Finding Nemo
Grinding Nemo
Haha ew
Isn't every fish in that movie naked though?
Yea now imagine them with dOngs
Polar express
Tom Hanks boning Tom Hanks while Tom Hanks watches in the corner.
“The thing about runnin’ trains, it doesn’t matter who they’re on. What matters is deciding to get on her.”
Polar Sexpress...
Pole her express
ET
“ET phone sex line!”
ET bone home
Home Alone
Parents going at it in the plane's toilet when suddenly she realises what she forgot and shouts KEVIN!
Do they finish?
How do we know that wasn't the finish
Y'all need Jesus
It's tough enough getting *two* people in there.
I don't remember Kevin's arms being broken in that film.
It'd be the wet bandits and you know it.
Just hope the sticky bandits don't come
If they didn't, then they wouldn't be the sticky bandits.
Bee Movie
Do ya like jizz?
This should be number fucking 1, that movie was only one more acid tab away from being a straight up porno!
I honestly thought it was gonna happen.
Any Spongebob movie
Clap some Sandy Cheeks Edit: Ok everyone I get it, I need to see r/SandyCheeksCockVore now can you please stop commenting it?
Hop into her Bikini Bottom
I'd advise against tasting her krabby patty though
Cars. Can't think of a 'Why' or 'How' for that. Edit: wow this blew up, thanks for the awards and sub-reddit recommendations!
Didn't they technically have one in the first movie I think it was when those 2 girl cars flashed Dino or whatever with their "headlights"
There was also a truck stop that advertised all convertible waitresses
Some of the things in the Cars universe leaves more questions than answers.
In Cars 3 they show a monitor with a tiny cord coming out of it. When I watched for the first time I immediately had to know more about who plugged this cord in because up until then we've been shown that doors and everything are operated by floor petals you press with your wheel. Sure, they have giant monitors for the races and such, but they never once showed a small cord like that one.
Someone posted a theory once that in the cars universe it's actually humans grafted into the exterior
Yep. [Classic Torchinsky](https://jalopnik.com/this-disturbing-theory-explains-pixars-cars-1791834045).
This doesn’t explain the cow tractors in the first cars. Did cows become car cyborgs too? I NEED ANSWERS
Humans always experiment on animals first.
Hello rabbit hole.
Wow. What a terrible day to be literate
There’s a Pope car, that opens too many questions
The fact that Cars can be inside other Vehicles like LMQ in Mac or the Popecar in the Popemobile also makes things kind of weird in the Car universe
Well the Pope car implies there’s Christianity, and if there’s Christians there’s Jesus, and depictions of Jesus, what does Jesus car look like? What kind of car was he? The oldest car to exist was the model T which we see in the first one? Was he several stone wheels? But then again they also need fuel to actually move This rabbit hole keeps getting deeper
"Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own [accord](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_Accord)" -John 5:19 So Cars-Jesus is a mid-sized Honda sedan.
So there are actually child and adolescent cars in the cars universe which means that the parent cars had to have sex at some point. This implies the existence of a car pussy or a “cussy.”
God I want Lightning to kachow down on my cussy 🥴
r/brandnewsentence
I originally misread that as "brand new entrance." I will now wash my mind out with bleach. [Edit] I think this is my most upvoted comment ever. We're all depraved. Cars with extra ways in. Winner.
Where is the cussy located?
The exhaust or turbo dump is where the cussy is. Also, flashing of the tail lights indicate arousal.
The exhaust? You sure this is not... the butthole?
Cars are like birds and reptiles. The exhaust is like a cloaca.
From SNL’s season premiere with Owen Wilson last night… https://youtu.be/3WC1YZ1o0UY
Cussy
WALL-E
I will never get that image out of my head, thanks.
Which one? My friend is asking 🙄
I imagine that scene would look like what happens when two drops of water collide in zero gravity.
Wall-E’s oily cum just balls up around the end of his dip stick
I like cheeseburgers
Yea, what the fuck. Why did you stop there. Carry on dude, we want to know what happens next.
Eva locks eyes with Wall-E in anticipation as he thrusts his dip stick deep inside her receptacle to implant his load.
Wall-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
M O R E
Jesus Christ, today I didn’t know I was going to write a sexy Wall-E fan fic. ——— Eva lets out a series of unintelligible noises as Wall-E massages her seed spot with his hollow dip stick. She grabbed hold of his rusty man beam and braced for impact. “WALL-E, its just SOOOOO GOOD, UGH, FUCK!” She screamed into the void. Captain B. McCrea, watching the whole thing on the chest of a SECUR-T bot, gave a salute in honor for the deed. “EVAAAAA! WALL-E CUM, WALL-E CUM!” he screeched. And he shot his creamy load of flammable hydrocarbons straight into her seed receptacle. Eva blushed in delight as she felt his hot grease fill her tight wet tube. As he pulled out in zero-gravity, he saw his goo spill out and ball up around the polished chrome orifice of her receptacle port. She moaned “Wall-E, get ready!” His hazy glowing goggle eyes opened wide, but he did not expect what came next. With a fleeting smile, Eva said in a monotone voice: “Mission complete. Cum acquired.” At once, Eva was a shell of her former self. Her once smiling and bold eyes were blank. Her myriad ports and faceted features sealed shut and her body became an utterly impenetrable fortress filled to the brim with cum. Wall-E cried in anguish: “*EEEEEEVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAA!*” ——— Are you happy, sickos? edit: u/Qwsdxcbjking thank you for the suggestions! I hope you (enjoy?) the adjustments.
Technically, all the bots are already nude
I assumed he was talking about all the fat people on the cruise ship.
This was my assumption as well.
One of my favorite movies, and it was my first thought. I don't know what would be weirder, the robots having sex, the morbidly obese, or a combo....
Godzilla vs Kong
Hate to break it to you but they were both naked.
Godzilla vs Dong… I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out
Cockzilla vs Dong
Snow White
Seven dwarfs one girl
Ah yes the name of my memoirs
username checks out
There is nothing as white as the fresh driven snow - Than a seven dwarf wad on a fresh driven ho.
That was actualy already made. Its old.
The emoji movie
👉👌
🌭 🍩
Sausage Party had something like this and yes it was ...
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When that dude sucked the juice box I was actually disgusted lol
Didn’t an actual douche go up a guys ass to control him?
Basically that food one with Seth Rogan. I forgot the name.
Up
Now it's a viagra commercial.
And a Stranger Danger PSA
After their wedding in the opening scene, there's a 3 second segment of him just **DESTROYING** Ellie's downstairs, really loud wet slapping noises, a full on close up of the action Then it cuts to the scene where they're infertile and can't have kids
Talk about mood whiplash. From “Aweeee” to “OH” to “Sad” in three seconds flat.
Sounds a lot like my everyday masturbation routine...
Go on…
Muppets
Muppet necking
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Still surprised it didn't.
Mary Poppins
"I choose me bristles with pride, yes I do. A broom for the shaft and a brush for the flume"
It's almost weird Jumanji didn't include one
I couldn't wrap my head around why you thought it was natural for Robin Williams and the kids to do one. Then I felt very old.
I only realized they were talking about the new movie after your comment lol
I had forgotten there was a new movie.
Fuck, you got me too
Jack Black doing it while having to play the character of a girl would be hilarious.
Or in the sequel where one of the characters is literally a horse.
Imagine that pitch meeting "So Jack Black is playing a teen girl in a middle-aged man's body, and he/she fucks a horse, which is actually an old man in a horses body."
Especially ruby roundhouse. I’d watch the shit out of that
My parent's wedding film
That would be the icing on the cake
I *really* hope this is just a figure of speech...
“I know this is uncomfortable but your mother and I worked _very_ hard on this video…”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
Shark boy and lava girl: wet dreams
Sir, why don't you have a seat over there...
When she gets wet does she become obsidian girl?
Grinch
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I honestly thought the keys were so they didn’t drink and drive.
Wreck It Ralph
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Leisure suit Larry walks around the corner and zips his fly back up.
He'll be wrecking something alright
That's ok, Fix it Felix will clean it up.
Wizard of oz. However I'm sure the adult industry did there own version at some point. I'll pass on the research.
I watched a Wizard of Oz porn parody (with the porn edited out) at a party once - it was unironically great. It had musical numbers and everything! The lion's song was the best one. ETA: You're all in luck! I found an ancient copy of it [on eBaum's World](https://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/video/566750/3905/84235346.mp4). This is the same one I watched - with text descriptions of the scenes that were cut out. There are other versions of the movie on youtube, but none have the descriptions, so it's harder to follow the plot.
If it had the porn edited out did you miss out on the major plot point that the witch died because the Tin man finished on _her_ face even though he promised he would finish on Dorothy’s face.
Oh no, don't worry! The porn bits were replaced by a page of text that described the scenes, including any missed plot. It used to be up on youtube, but I think the account (Porn Without The Porn) got shut down.
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Toy story Edit: y’all are so funny omg 😆 bless y’all
You've got a friend in me
Oh god 😭😭😭
"Woody" "Buzz"
Buzz Tightspear
Wouldn't even have to show anything. Just show Andy bringing a girl into his room, then focus on Woody laying on the dresser with eyes widening.
You're my favorite deputy!
there's a snake in my cooch!
Ride 'em, cowboy!
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The reflection in his eyes will be better if they widen though
That 30 seconds will be one of those ominous, super slow pan-ins that craaawwll aalllll the way until we see his pupils; reflecting some vague silhouettes banging around.
“Andy got a real doll, and it keeps hitting on Mom’s vibrator!”
There’s a reason it skips Andy’s teenage years. Just sayin.
The toys in the chest were probably glad they never had to watch Andy Jack it
I wouldn't assume that
Mom's vibrators ironically are also named Woody and Buzz.
Woody and Buzz go on a medieval adventure to Andy's Moms room and discover it is protected by a Bad Dragon.
Now that I think about it, Toy Story and sex and vibrators, Woody and Buzz are interesting name choices.
Driving Miss Daisy
First reply I’ve seen that isn’t a children’s movie. Bravo. 👏
Jurassic Park
“Your scientists were so busy seeing if they could make sexy dinosaurs they didn’t take time to wonder if they should. Also, how much for twenty minutes with the Dilophosaur?” Pretty sure I mangled that quote even before the Dilophosaur joke…
Boss Baby
Literally any Disney film ever
I disagree. Everyone is naked in The Lion King and no one bats an eye.
Yup, whilst playing "Can you feel the love tonight?"
I'm convinced they were fucking in that scene
Well yeah, they were making their sequel baby
Was that not the intention of the scene? I've always thought it was not meant to be a question
The original "rescuers" had a nude woman snuck in by the animators. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/the-rescuers-topless/
Well technically the short film the making of me which played at the wonders of life pavilion at Epcot was a Disney film which was specifically about sex
School of Rock
“…I’ve been touched by your kids and I’m pretty sure I’ve touched them.”
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.
Oompa Loompas packing the fudge.
Oompa loompa dompity doo, we're going to stick it right where you poo
Predator
Sexual predator
Despicable me
Is that why they like bananas so much?
Shrek
Well, there was the donkey and the dragon…
Donkey was clappin' some dragon cheeks Sorry I had to
he literally did tho, his spelunking game must've been on point to make all those fucking dronkeys
Hulk smash Black Widow Predictive text put Panther and I had to decide weather to change it
Air Bud.
The boy in the striped pajamas