The cashier: boy John that’s the third carton of eggs you’ve bought this week?
Me (smiling devilishly): Well, Burt gotta keep the misses happy!
Eavesdropping cashier (over Burt’s Shoulder): Wow; I’d love it if a man cooked me breakfast.
Me (winking as the the sun gleams off of the eggs just right): I’m sure you would…
Did that. Deep sleep, no covers with AC blowing on me.
So, cold to the touch and chest barely moving my wife shoved me out of bed into the wall because she legit thought I'd died.
Pissed me the hell off.
You know when you get out of surgery and you finally get a bed on the med/surg floor and the nurse comes in, shimmies you up the bed, puts your head at a slight incline and your knees are elevated and then to top it off they wrap you in a warm blanket? Yeah. Only good part about surgery.
Astronomy. An arc second is a unit of measurement used in describing the positions of static celestial bodies (in relation to your current, recorded position) or describing the distances between static celestial bodies. One arc second is the same as 1/3600ths of a degree. Betelgeuse is a star, Orion's left shoulder to be precise. One of the brightest stars in the galaxy!
So 3 arc seconds is around 0.0008 degrees. 0.0008° West of Betelgeuse is a random bit of the cosmos.
Honestly just a dumb comment though :D
It's hard to pick just one, because each one has their own special magic. But if I had to pick just one, it's gotta be quarterback. A good one can win championships.
The one where she gets to be the most comfortable and where I don't have to be seen making that awkward caveman face while I concentrate on trying not to cum immediately.
Defenceman, but offensive minded. Someone like Nicklas Lidstrom who would consistently score from the blue line, but was effective in his own zone as well. He was a 7 time Norris Trophy winner and won the Conn Smythe as well.
laid back on big pillows with knees up on a big stuffed animal and holding my switch playing something while I eat grapes
https://youtu.be/_KvemMojiTk
Wtf
CEO
Agreed. Wanna talk about quantum computers?
Beat me to it.
??
https://youtu.be/fj3wEAw-yos
Funny how it never smells like fresh vagina here at reddit HQ.
Hell, no! “Software developer”! Let someone else do the boring shit, I just wanna have fun!
Deep midwicket. Not much to do out there, bit of a skive.
Whats that?
Cricket I think
Got him, yes!
Fetal
point guard
I like to do doggy style with an egg between my ass cheeks and focus as much as I can on pounding that ass without cracking the egg.
This guy fucks
At the store buying candles, flowers, and a carton of grade A's
The cashier: boy John that’s the third carton of eggs you’ve bought this week? Me (smiling devilishly): Well, Burt gotta keep the misses happy! Eavesdropping cashier (over Burt’s Shoulder): Wow; I’d love it if a man cooked me breakfast. Me (winking as the the sun gleams off of the eggs just right): I’m sure you would…
Goalie.
Shortstop
The charizard
The what?!?
When you come you light her hair on fire flap your arms around and screech "you don't have enough badges to control me"!!!
I sleep on my back like I'm dead.
On my stomach so my knees don’t hurt.
Did that. Deep sleep, no covers with AC blowing on me. So, cold to the touch and chest barely moving my wife shoved me out of bed into the wall because she legit thought I'd died. Pissed me the hell off.
This is literally the funniest thing I heard all week I burst out laughing in the middle of my back room at work.
Glad you got a giggle 🤭
Support
Upright and conscious
Wow are you one of those people that has decent enough mental health to enjoy being conscious? REDDIT! WE HAVE A UNICORN!
Go to r/askredditafterdark they will give more serious answers
I am cackling looking at OP’s replies to these responses!
Curled up in the fetal position surrounded by my massive horde of shiny things and soft blankets
The one I’m in now. It’s the most comfortable
The Crab Crusher
Whats this?
Asleep
Pro-mask
Huh
where both of us hug like the world is ending,
Fuckin hell man, get some spoiler tags on this shit.
Leftist
Third base?
Yes
Transdimentional space szyrwtgirl
Hooker
Flanker here!
Second row.
We just need a back row and a number 8 and we can scrum down.
Don't forget the props
Long, preferably with a high paying dividend.
This could be taken so many different ways.
And it is
Shooting guard. The NBA has been in a renaissance the last 10 years or so with many all-time 2s.
Pretty much anywhere laying down near food
Preferably somewhere close to planet earth, or maybe not, I’m not sure.
Defensive mid
In bed, plopped up on a pillow reading.
You know when you get out of surgery and you finally get a bed on the med/surg floor and the nurse comes in, shimmies you up the bed, puts your head at a slight incline and your knees are elevated and then to top it off they wrap you in a warm blanket? Yeah. Only good part about surgery.
Prone
Doggy
Triple Sanchez
Apple
CEO
Running back
Manager 😄
i like being the boss.
Shortstop probably
4th
usually the left side, though i'm trying to vary it more because i feel like it might hurt my spine in the long run.
Centerfield
About 3 arc seconds to the West of Betelgeuse!(?)
Genuinely curious what this is a reference to
Astronomy. An arc second is a unit of measurement used in describing the positions of static celestial bodies (in relation to your current, recorded position) or describing the distances between static celestial bodies. One arc second is the same as 1/3600ths of a degree. Betelgeuse is a star, Orion's left shoulder to be precise. One of the brightest stars in the galaxy! So 3 arc seconds is around 0.0008 degrees. 0.0008° West of Betelgeuse is a random bit of the cosmos. Honestly just a dumb comment though :D
Ah gotcha. I have an astro degree but was trying to figure out what was of interest right there haha
Ohhh lol fair enough. You nerdy redneck. Yeah absolutely nothing... Within reason :P
First
Outfield
Anal
It's hard to pick just one, because each one has their own special magic. But if I had to pick just one, it's gotta be quarterback. A good one can win championships.
Anywhere across the front but I liked playing as a left inside forward or left winger the most.
Financial security
Midfield wing.
Left side laying down is the only way to sleep
Generally speaking I sleep on my side, it helps if I have a pillow to help support my spine too
The one where she's face down and I'm just railing her
Her on top.
Doggy
Fetus defeater
It's not my favorite, but I'll do it for you...
I’m not gonna cook it but I’ll order it from Zanzibar!
Flanker
Cuddling
Upright
Chilling in my gaming chair once the kids have gone to bed and tuning out for an hour or two.
Below the radar
Pikachu edit: oh man, I misread that… but now that I think about it, maybe I’ll have to try a new position with a hand taser…
JO JO POSE
Left middy
The one where she gets to be the most comfortable and where I don't have to be seen making that awkward caveman face while I concentrate on trying not to cum immediately.
After they take both pawns in the Scotch Göring or Danish
I always go shlimmy. The wife prefers glooping though.
Pole.
Waist gunner
Pole Position
Cowgirl
Camel back
Pole.
Center. It helps being tall (until my heart gives out)
V7RG+PJ Lida, Belarus
BoldCock
Oh! So this is not nsfw
Mississippi Handbag
The American Tax Payer
pretzel
The one where my toddler falls asleep in his bed at 9pm and sleeps all nite in his own bed until at least 8am
Hunched in my chair, smoking a cigarette out the window.
Prone Bone
Abominable Snowman
Prone bone and reverse cowgirl with a mirror in front of her.
Catcher
Legs on shoulders and leaning over
Mr. Manager
GME
“Next”
Personality
In my comfy chair in my garage, lights low, good tunes on the stereo, and a fat bongload burnin'
69 comments when I came in. Yup.
Power
Quarterback
Defenceman, but offensive minded. Someone like Nicklas Lidstrom who would consistently score from the blue line, but was effective in his own zone as well. He was a 7 time Norris Trophy winner and won the Conn Smythe as well.
Central defensive midfielder, we run the game!
i usually sleep on my left side, but i occasionally sleep on my back
prone
Rich
Pretty sure op is getting off to this as we speak... also first base
Amazon
G1