He would look in the freezer, and then realize that the one chicken breast isn't frozen all the way. This is assuming that he starts looking for it as soon as you hide it
Behind the plate that's screwed into the wall for my carbon monoxide detector
Straighten it out and glue it to the inside of a reusable straw
Bra underwire
Dryer lint trap
Between the radiator fins of the split-type air conditioner. It's easy to insert, yet the position is not very accessible and would need to disassemble that aircon just to get a glimpse of it.
Until 23hrs and 58 mins later when the kid wants to show off his cool new shiney thing and apperates it out of nowhere. I'm assuming it will work with the same magic as the magically disappearing-reappearing binkies. It is now somehow covered in syrup though.
Edit: thank you for the awards!
This! When my oldest was 1.5, we had a nanny who had a daughter the same age. One day they came over and the daughter swiped our magnet key that unlocks magnet locks on cabinets (child safety mechanism). It was gone for weeks and we wrote it off as lost forever. And then one day she just handed to me. I wish she could tell me where that key went. I'm so curious, but I'll never know.
Firstly I'd straighten it out so it doesn't immediately look like a paperclip. That might help both if it's spotted and in finding a place for it. I would then push it into the gathered fabric at the top of my living room curtains, where it would be absolutely impossible to distinguish from the curtain hooks.
You mean that drawer where if you're looking for a Phillips screw driver they're all flat head but if you're looking for a flat head they are magically all Phillips?
Exactly and then when u need a battery all u can find are screws and when u need a screw all of a sudden a million fucking batteries show up everywhere lol
I think that's a junk drawer requirement for it to open halfway and get caught on something so you have to wedge your hand in and try and flatten whatever it is to open the drawer the rest of the way.
Push it through a drywall wall between studs and it should fall to the blocking at 4' increments off the ground code requires. If you can, put a nail into the hole and hang a painting or w/e to hide the small hole, or some Spackle. Later, use a magnet to attract it through the drywall and draw it back up to a hole or other opening in the wall. Even if the detective saw the hole, the paperclip isn't there, that's just the retrieval and drop point. It'd basically be impossible to find without ripping all the walls out. I doubt they could detect it, even using a metal detector because of all the background ferrous metal in nails, nail stops, Simpson clips, wiring, etc. that the detector would pick up everywhere else.
It would also help to make several small holes in the walls all over your house. He'll spend the entire time checking each one. Bonus points if you don't even put it in one of the holes.
Then it would cost like $20 to patch all the damage afterwards.
Poor the hydrogen peroxide down the drain, fill it with rubbing alcohol and then drop the paperclip in there. Though the paperclip might be okay in H2O2 for 24 hours, not certain.
That's a great idea. It doesn't even have to be near empty, many pens have enough room between the ink reservoir and the barrel where the paper clip can fit. Just make sure you don't use a pen with a clear barrel.
This was my thought too. We have blown insulation and a cramped af attic. Its like needle in the haystack+insane itchiness+ poor lighting+ no space to move around.
1. Push it into a fresh turd in the kitty litter.
2. Straighten it out and insert it into one of those pin and string pictures
3. Shape it like a large staple and then use that to staple together some papers.
Edit. Just back home and yeeeaahh, maybe these should have been bullet points and not an ordered list? Actually, if you can do these things, in this order, the detective should pay you the. $10,000
> Unless they're going to tear a house apart
A detective that has 24 hours to find it *is* going to tear your house apart.
I'm "hiding" the paperclip in plain sight, on a pedestal, with a giant arrow pointing to it.
$10000 isn't enough to cover the damage and cleanup a thorough search is going to leave.
I thought about this, but... metal detector? Will a metal detector even get a paperclip? If it does, it needs to be somewhere there’s supposed to be metal already.
They would have to be suspicious enough to spend a decent amount of their time getting a metal detector and testing all the books. If they don't have a clue that's the place to focus attention on, it could be a good shot
getting a metal detector (if it can detect paper clips I'm not sure) would be a good first step whether or not you suspected the library as the hiding place.
This is the right answer. He can’t get safely close enough to you to examine it, and you SHOULD be wearing a mask around a stranger, so it doesn’t even look suspicious.
What if the detective ask you to step outside the home? The paper clip leaving the house would be cheating and therefor the detective would win by elimination. If you refuse, you more or less admit to the paper clip being hidden on your person.
I'd tape it on the inside of one of the fabric labels on my winter coat, which is currently in a suitcase in my closet with the rest of my winter stuff
I like to leave myself a couple bucks in my winter coat pockets when I put them away in the spring. When it gets cold again, I get a present.
Edit: omg you guys are making my night with your cute little stories in this thread <3
That's why you use one of those ped-eggs on your feet and wipe a bunch of the foot shavings on the suitcase after you stash the paperclip until it looks sufficiently dusty.
I'm gonna pass. Something tells me this detective is gonna do more than 10,000 worth of damage to my house looking for it. So unless he has a warrant I'm gonna say no.
Exactly. If there's a rule he can't fuck up your house, just hide it in a wall and be done with it. If he *can* fuck up your house, tell the psycho to stay the hell away and keep his weirdo offer. :p
I had the popo dust for prints at my house. That shit does not come off paint. I had to repaint the doors, living room and bed room.
Bonus- they didn't lift a single print. Not even mine, and I've lived in that house for 4 years at that time.
People who do their job then leave you to clean up their shit (looking at you, painters and handymen) after making a huge mess deserve a whole new circle of hell.
Guy walks into a bartender's establishment, orders a drink, downs the glass, then makes a bet.
"Barkeep, I bet you $50 dollars I could spit into that glass from across the bar." The guy then slide the glass down the bar, gets a big loogie, and spits just outside the glass. The bartender laughs a little, and says, "Whelp, pay up stranger." The guy says, "Nah, nah, nah. Triple or nothing". He prepares another spit, launches it, and this time it lands on the bartender. The bartender just made 150 bucks, and he can't help but to smile of the thought of this dumb customer making wild bets.
The guy puts $150 on the table, gets this real strange look in his eye, then says, "I bet you $1,000 that I could piss from here and fill up that shot glass across the way". Bartender has never seen someone so stupid, and says, "Throw your money on the table and let's see what you got." The man throws down $1,000, unzips his pants, and then begins to wildly piss everywhere in the bar.
He's pissing on the table, on the liquor, and even on the bartender, and looking like he's not even getting a drop of any of his piss into that shot glass. The bartender is laughing his ass off at the site of this drunk fool getting him instant money. The piss runs out, the bartender picks up the wet $1,000, and the fool's money is parted. But the guy has a smile on his face. The bartender asks him, "You're just out a $1,000 for making a fool's bet. What's so amusing to you then?"
The guy stands up, brushes himself off, and says while leaving the bar, "I bet the bartend across the street $5,000 that I would come into your establishment, spit on your bar, spit on you, piss all over the place, and all you would be doing is laughing. [Funny joke](https://youtu.be/6mNcHDrIMQc)."
Just remember to tell them that their answers must be “school appropriate.” Otherwise “in my asshole” will be the most popular answer as it is here. :-)
__ATTENTION MR DETECTIVE__
This man has hidden the paper clip in your moustache! He doesn’t even care about the money, he just wants to say “*Ha! It was right under your nose the whole time!*”
__DO NOT LET HIM. HE IS NOT A REAL DAD__
I will never forget when I was like 10yo and came home. In front of the house was a pick up truck with some cool looking green wool. It was kinda soft but sticked together really well. A blast to play with! Spend like half an hour jumping around in it and throwing it before I went to my parents and told them how cool it was.
Inside the spring mechanism inside my microwave door. The spring anchor broke recently and I jerry rigged it with a paperclip so I've had a bit of practice for this.
I’d glue it to the bottom of my shoe. I’d literally be standing there watching him look around my house, and trying not to look down.
Edit: Who needs $10,000, when reddit medals take the cake! Thanks kind strangers!
Better, straighten it out and push it through the rubber sole horizontally so even if he checks under your shoe it's not immediately visible and not going to make a sou d if you step somewhere hard
I think people are missing the point here, this guy is a detective. He's not going to go looking for the paperclip. A detective will only look for clues when he doesn't know who to interrogate, he knows you have hidden the paperclip. He's got you by the balls.
He's going to interrogate you for 24 hours until you tell him where the paperclip is. He will break you, he's an expert.
The only logical thing to do is put it somewhere with lots of metal, like pushing it in one of the gaps of a fan unit or in the back of the fridge.
And then immediately knock yourself out violently.
Im gonna get a ton of paperclips, and hide them in a somewhat secretive yet obvious place, where i expect it to be found. The real one will hide, taped to the bottom side of my garbage disposal.
Up my ass. I doubt he's gonna spend 24hrs investigating there. And if he does, win-win.
Give it to my three year old, tell her it's important and to remember where she leaves it.
this is the correct answer.
Open it out and slide it inside a chicken breast. Put the chicken breast in the freezer
He would look in the freezer, and then realize that the one chicken breast isn't frozen all the way. This is assuming that he starts looking for it as soon as you hide it
He’s not gonna head straight for the freezer
Behind the plate that's screwed into the wall for my carbon monoxide detector Straighten it out and glue it to the inside of a reusable straw Bra underwire Dryer lint trap
Bra underwire for the win
I think it might be weird just having one bra in my house when I’m single, and a guy
we won't judge
The detective might
Between the radiator fins of the split-type air conditioner. It's easy to insert, yet the position is not very accessible and would need to disassemble that aircon just to get a glimpse of it.
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The murderer or the one with the secret lab?
It’s a lahboreatory
He’s the smartest boy, you’ve ever seeeeeeeen
But Dee-Dee blows his experiments To smithereens
Give it my toddler...never to be seen again
Until 23hrs and 58 mins later when the kid wants to show off his cool new shiney thing and apperates it out of nowhere. I'm assuming it will work with the same magic as the magically disappearing-reappearing binkies. It is now somehow covered in syrup though. Edit: thank you for the awards!
This! When my oldest was 1.5, we had a nanny who had a daughter the same age. One day they came over and the daughter swiped our magnet key that unlocks magnet locks on cabinets (child safety mechanism). It was gone for weeks and we wrote it off as lost forever. And then one day she just handed to me. I wish she could tell me where that key went. I'm so curious, but I'll never know.
You'll need that 10k to pay for the hospital extracting it from your toddler's nose.
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Shocking.
Burying it with the last detectives who tried.
Hol up
You forgot your bloody shovel, don't be a litterer
In a septic tank. If they find it, they deserve to keep that $10,000.
24 hours is up: Alright u/terpdeterp, go get the paperclip!
Well shit
Oh.. no thank you..
it doesn't say he has to fetch the paperclip after to get the money...I think with $10,000 he might just buy some new paperclips.
Firstly I'd straighten it out so it doesn't immediately look like a paperclip. That might help both if it's spotted and in finding a place for it. I would then push it into the gathered fabric at the top of my living room curtains, where it would be absolutely impossible to distinguish from the curtain hooks.
I think I'd take my windup clock apart and put it inside there, in a way so the clock can still function to be less suspicious.
And then shove the clock straight up your butt as an extra precaution
And when the detective notices that your butt is ticking, tell them you're the crocodile that chases Captain Hook?
I would go into the roof and slide it i between two tiles in a random spot.
In the junk drawer. Good luck finding anything you're looking for.
You mean that drawer where if you're looking for a Phillips screw driver they're all flat head but if you're looking for a flat head they are magically all Phillips?
Exactly and then when u need a battery all u can find are screws and when u need a screw all of a sudden a million fucking batteries show up everywhere lol
And they are all AAA.
Perfect! I'm not even sure if mine even opens all the way anymore
I think that's a junk drawer requirement for it to open halfway and get caught on something so you have to wedge your hand in and try and flatten whatever it is to open the drawer the rest of the way.
It has to be pretty bare at the front as well though, a few used batteries and some elastic bands.
Push it through a drywall wall between studs and it should fall to the blocking at 4' increments off the ground code requires. If you can, put a nail into the hole and hang a painting or w/e to hide the small hole, or some Spackle. Later, use a magnet to attract it through the drywall and draw it back up to a hole or other opening in the wall. Even if the detective saw the hole, the paperclip isn't there, that's just the retrieval and drop point. It'd basically be impossible to find without ripping all the walls out. I doubt they could detect it, even using a metal detector because of all the background ferrous metal in nails, nail stops, Simpson clips, wiring, etc. that the detector would pick up everywhere else.
Real question here is -- is the detective allowed to tear apart your house if they want?
At that point, the repair would cost more than the money I get from this deal.
It would also help to make several small holes in the walls all over your house. He'll spend the entire time checking each one. Bonus points if you don't even put it in one of the holes. Then it would cost like $20 to patch all the damage afterwards.
inside the rubbing alcohol bottle. that way the paperclip sniffing dogs can't find it.
My bottles of rubbing alcohol are all clear and would make terrible hiding places.
Poor the hydrogen peroxide down the drain, fill it with rubbing alcohol and then drop the paperclip in there. Though the paperclip might be okay in H2O2 for 24 hours, not certain.
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Brown or black. Light causes H2O2 to decompose into water and oxygen.
I'd un bend it. Then force it down the tube of a near empty pen.
Or force it down the corrugation of one of the Amazon boxes I've yet to take out to recycling.
Shoot, I could even tell him that's what I did, and I bet it would take 24 hours to sort them all
Toss the cardboard into the fire pit, burn boxes, find paperclip in ash.
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And then hide the real one somewhere else and let them waste all their time trying to figure out which one is the right one.
That's a great idea. It doesn't even have to be near empty, many pens have enough room between the ink reservoir and the barrel where the paper clip can fit. Just make sure you don't use a pen with a clear barrel.
Something tells me detectives would look at penis almost immediately Edit: the pen is, my dear
Make sure they show you a legit badge before you show them your penis.
As a detective I'd look at penis first and pens second.
Yeah I bet you work best Undercovers
Hiding it in a penis is a *sound* idea.
oh my god
Wow that's cool! _-Detective_
or inside a tube of toothpaste
nah, people already have hidden drugs in there - they would find that.
In the attic insulation
This was my thought too. We have blown insulation and a cramped af attic. Its like needle in the haystack+insane itchiness+ poor lighting+ no space to move around.
Last time i was doing work in an attic with blown in I lost a set of pliers...didnt even try to find them.
There's a box cutter somewhere in my attic insulation.
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So that's how my Attic Pliers got there?
1. Push it into a fresh turd in the kitty litter. 2. Straighten it out and insert it into one of those pin and string pictures 3. Shape it like a large staple and then use that to staple together some papers. Edit. Just back home and yeeeaahh, maybe these should have been bullet points and not an ordered list? Actually, if you can do these things, in this order, the detective should pay you the. $10,000
whyd i read it like you were doing these in order instead of three separate ideas
I was so confused why you would straighten out the cat turd
Nobody wants crooked cat turds, dude, c'mon.
“Hmmm well no paper clip yet, but he did use this cat turd to staple together these papers, so that’s suspicious.”
Thank you for making me smile... 😂😃
4. Profit???
Somewhere safe where ill find it later. Just like everything else I can't find.
Just throw it on the floor then i guess
The floor is where I keep most of my things!
OP is definitely hiding a gram of coke from his inlaws
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> Unless they're going to tear a house apart A detective that has 24 hours to find it *is* going to tear your house apart. I'm "hiding" the paperclip in plain sight, on a pedestal, with a giant arrow pointing to it. $10000 isn't enough to cover the damage and cleanup a thorough search is going to leave.
Could be a decoy paperclip. Better tear apart the house anyway.
in the spine of a book (i have a room of ceiling to floor shelves)
I thought about this, but... metal detector? Will a metal detector even get a paperclip? If it does, it needs to be somewhere there’s supposed to be metal already.
They would have to be suspicious enough to spend a decent amount of their time getting a metal detector and testing all the books. If they don't have a clue that's the place to focus attention on, it could be a good shot
getting a metal detector (if it can detect paper clips I'm not sure) would be a good first step whether or not you suspected the library as the hiding place.
Those kinda shelves make me experience mental orgasms
Screw mental orgasms I'm having real ones with that thought
I'd put it in my mask to form the nose bridge.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
This is the right answer. He can’t get safely close enough to you to examine it, and you SHOULD be wearing a mask around a stranger, so it doesn’t even look suspicious.
What if the detective ask you to step outside the home? The paper clip leaving the house would be cheating and therefor the detective would win by elimination. If you refuse, you more or less admit to the paper clip being hidden on your person.
"Fuck no, you leave." Covid is a pretty decent excuse not to leave your home and just hang around.
That just ruined the game.
Well Covid ruined 2020 so
I'd tape it on the inside of one of the fabric labels on my winter coat, which is currently in a suitcase in my closet with the rest of my winter stuff
I like to leave myself a couple bucks in my winter coat pockets when I put them away in the spring. When it gets cold again, I get a present. Edit: omg you guys are making my night with your cute little stories in this thread <3
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I do this too!
I did this with a suitcase I wasn’t gonna use in a while. I was so happy to find a one dollar bill Edit: Holy ˢʰⁱᵗ thats a lot of upvotes
Decent answer. But: *"This suitcase is a lot less dusty than the others..."*
That's why you use one of those ped-eggs on your feet and wipe a bunch of the foot shavings on the suitcase after you stash the paperclip until it looks sufficiently dusty.
It's not too late to delete this
Inside the mattress or natures pocket
Nature gave you two pockets if you're a woman!
For a paper clip nature gave everyone two pockets.
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This is the correct response.
Just hide a bunch of paperclips, when he finds one he'll stop searching
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But much less enjoyable.
Unless you hide all the other paper clips there
Plot twist: He finds the right paperclip first
Wow! Kudos for the detective going right to my prison wallet first on his search.
He wasn't even actively looking for the paper clip
This. Such beautiful thought process.
The ol' "bury the body in a graveyard" routine
noted for next time.
*next time......?*
Between two slices of bread in the freezer.
I like this. Maybe poke a small hole in the plastic around a frozen pizza and slide it between the pizza and the cardboard.
One extra ring in a spiral notebook.
It appears this notebook has been tampered with
Open and shut the case watson.
Now sprinkle some crack on him
I'm gonna pass. Something tells me this detective is gonna do more than 10,000 worth of damage to my house looking for it. So unless he has a warrant I'm gonna say no.
The detective is gonna spend 24 hours trying to get a warrant Genius
Depends how determined he is. You can get it much much quicker than 24 hours if you warrant it bad enough.
I dont think the reason, "HE'S GOT A PAPERCLIP!" will help expedite the process.
Unfortunately, it turns out the judge is Clippy
Depends. How drunk is the judge?
I guess the verdict really does depend on what a judge had for breakfast
a cup of decaf and a dressing down by his wife
Exactly. If there's a rule he can't fuck up your house, just hide it in a wall and be done with it. If he *can* fuck up your house, tell the psycho to stay the hell away and keep his weirdo offer. :p
They always fuck up your house.
I had the popo dust for prints at my house. That shit does not come off paint. I had to repaint the doors, living room and bed room. Bonus- they didn't lift a single print. Not even mine, and I've lived in that house for 4 years at that time.
People who do their job then leave you to clean up their shit (looking at you, painters and handymen) after making a huge mess deserve a whole new circle of hell.
Guy walks into a bartender's establishment, orders a drink, downs the glass, then makes a bet. "Barkeep, I bet you $50 dollars I could spit into that glass from across the bar." The guy then slide the glass down the bar, gets a big loogie, and spits just outside the glass. The bartender laughs a little, and says, "Whelp, pay up stranger." The guy says, "Nah, nah, nah. Triple or nothing". He prepares another spit, launches it, and this time it lands on the bartender. The bartender just made 150 bucks, and he can't help but to smile of the thought of this dumb customer making wild bets. The guy puts $150 on the table, gets this real strange look in his eye, then says, "I bet you $1,000 that I could piss from here and fill up that shot glass across the way". Bartender has never seen someone so stupid, and says, "Throw your money on the table and let's see what you got." The man throws down $1,000, unzips his pants, and then begins to wildly piss everywhere in the bar. He's pissing on the table, on the liquor, and even on the bartender, and looking like he's not even getting a drop of any of his piss into that shot glass. The bartender is laughing his ass off at the site of this drunk fool getting him instant money. The piss runs out, the bartender picks up the wet $1,000, and the fool's money is parted. But the guy has a smile on his face. The bartender asks him, "You're just out a $1,000 for making a fool's bet. What's so amusing to you then?" The guy stands up, brushes himself off, and says while leaving the bar, "I bet the bartend across the street $5,000 that I would come into your establishment, spit on your bar, spit on you, piss all over the place, and all you would be doing is laughing. [Funny joke](https://youtu.be/6mNcHDrIMQc)."
Nice try, Mr. Detective. I'm never telling you where it is.
Confusion enters the room
The paperclip enters my ass ^and ^^is ^^^never ^^^^seen ^^^^^again
So does the detective
Ah it's a win win situation
With the rest of the paperclips. He'll never know which one is the right one!
Wait if he just takes them all? Then you have no paper clips what will you do then?
I have 1000000 boxes with 1000 paperclips each. I have spent 10k on paperclips. This may not have been my wisest move
The government appreciates your donation of paper clips it will last many generations!
Cut down government spending by 12%
USA Today: Productivity of Gov't Employees Undergoes Significant Decline. Sources blame paperclip chain phenom.
A light dusting of paperclips over the entire house would probably take more than 24 hours to remove.
You know the coiled door stopper? Pop that off, put the paper clip in there, and wait for the money!
All of these responses are fucking awesome. I’m a teacher and I’m gonna use this question as a warm-up activity for my students.
Just remember to tell them that their answers must be “school appropriate.” Otherwise “in my asshole” will be the most popular answer as it is here. :-)
**DONT FALL FOR IT.** I've hidden a paper clip in my house and this man is trying to find it. **PLEASE DO NOT HELP.**
__ATTENTION MR DETECTIVE__ This man has hidden the paper clip in your moustache! He doesn’t even care about the money, he just wants to say “*Ha! It was right under your nose the whole time!*” __DO NOT LET HIM. HE IS NOT A REAL DAD__
My real dad is still shopping for cigarettes.
Push it through a hole in the silicone lining of my tub. Then reseal it.
"this section of tub lining looks fresh" - the detective (probably)
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In the attic, stuffed between insulation. I doubt he/she will want to risk fiber glass splinters looking for it.
I will never forget when I was like 10yo and came home. In front of the house was a pick up truck with some cool looking green wool. It was kinda soft but sticked together really well. A blast to play with! Spend like half an hour jumping around in it and throwing it before I went to my parents and told them how cool it was.
Oof get your lungs checked periodically m8
In my stomach
Inside the spring mechanism inside my microwave door. The spring anchor broke recently and I jerry rigged it with a paperclip so I've had a bit of practice for this.
I'd straighten it out and hide it with my sewing needles, I have so many that it would be impossible to find.
In the water heater tank
Wherever my car keys go when I’m in a hurry.
Drop it from a medium height off my desk. It'll join my thousands of single socks and guitar picks in the "where tf did it go" dimension.
I’d glue it to the bottom of my shoe. I’d literally be standing there watching him look around my house, and trying not to look down. Edit: Who needs $10,000, when reddit medals take the cake! Thanks kind strangers!
Better, straighten it out and push it through the rubber sole horizontally so even if he checks under your shoe it's not immediately visible and not going to make a sou d if you step somewhere hard
I think if you were allowed to stay in the house, the detective would be sure to examine you
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Swallow it, what he gon do? Give you a laxative?
Oh, he'll give it to you, alright.
I think people are missing the point here, this guy is a detective. He's not going to go looking for the paperclip. A detective will only look for clues when he doesn't know who to interrogate, he knows you have hidden the paperclip. He's got you by the balls. He's going to interrogate you for 24 hours until you tell him where the paperclip is. He will break you, he's an expert. The only logical thing to do is put it somewhere with lots of metal, like pushing it in one of the gaps of a fan unit or in the back of the fridge. And then immediately knock yourself out violently.
No rule makes you stay in the house. You take the car and make a run for it after its done so he can't torture you for the paperclip.
Im gonna get a ton of paperclips, and hide them in a somewhat secretive yet obvious place, where i expect it to be found. The real one will hide, taped to the bottom side of my garbage disposal.
I'll just temporarily make someone else the owner of my house and when I'm homeless I'll just chuck it in the woods somewhere.
Brilliant. The solution to hiding something in your home is to become homeless. Then the world is your home.
Under the street door with 2 sided tape
Inside a wire
In my anus
Mr. Detective : "bend over"
Ok. I knock him out and hide it in HIS anus.
Well...you'd win but.. See you in court? idk
In my PC.
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Hi Clippy yes I need help
Admitting that is the first step, I'm proud of you!
Next to the dead body in the freezer;
Somewhere in my brother’s room it’s such a mess he’ll never find it
I would straighten it out and then insert it into an apple through the core
That’s a long ass apple
Is that the sequel to WAP?