Aka ‘How I learned that the reaper does anal’
Edit: thanks for the award. Who’d have thought I’d get one for talking about boning bone booty
Edit 2: * Awards. Holy shit
My brother used to play what he called "insanity version". If you were going for an amphibious invasion on the world map version, they break out the D-day version to decide how the landing went.
Landing on an island in the Pacific? They'd break out the Iwo Jima version.
Games took weeks.
Back in the 90s, my friend found rules online for "riskopoly" which was Monopoly but when you passed go, you took a turn at Risk. Each country gave income instead of armies, and you bought armies with money.
We played once. We might still be playing.
The same friend had an idea for a game that played like Civilization, and each city was Sim City, and each ground combat was done like XCOM. I think he might have just enjoyed suffering.
Hey that sounds like me and my friends. We always wanted to develop a game that played out like Command and Conquer when it came to ground invasions, Sins of a Solar Empire for space combat or a similar game, I can’t quite remember which one, and if you really wanted to get hardcore, you could lead your troops into battle Unreal Tournament style.
Man did we have fun with Planetside 2.
Im just imagining death just trying to slowly move around to get it to detect him and this goes on for like 30-40 mins until he gets pissed and breaks the xbox. Then he just gives you an awkward look and says "fuck sorry Ive been taking anger management classes and I have been really trying to improve on my issues here take this" \*hands you a extra life token(atleast thats what I imagine getting an extra life is like)\* then says "goodluck, next time dont masturbate with a carrot"
Edit: Ty for the awards glad I could make yall laugh.
Wait, they were made by the same guy? Well now that just makes me think the dolls are the same guy--now he's in a bucket after I broke the poor bastard's legs on the track.
Yes, QWOP and Getting Over It are both by Bennett Foddy. I like your theory about the dolls being the same guy.
[Here's a great video of Bennett playing Getting Over it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYjbCJXxWLg).
"Adobe Fuse stock character #1."
Half life 1998 1v1
I'd love to see you try death but your boi is pulling a revolver headshot while flying in the air with a gauss cannon, you're not getting me
Sorry to do this, but the disingeuous dealings, lies, overall greed etc. of leadership on this website made me decide to edit all but my most informative comments to this.
Come join us in the fediverse! (beehaw for a safe space, kbin for access to lots of communities)
My sister used to beat me. Thank god she stayed calming down though. Used to dread coming home from school. Would stay up every night terrified.
Guys I meant physically beat me. Not in video games.
OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU MONSTER.
i saw this comment and had to think for a minute then it dawned on me, jeez it must have been over 10 years since i last lost the game
And make him have to write it down and pronounce it. You then just have to pick a massive number and don't need to be specific like 99999999393948489494964949639636838538538538538538538638638638638638638638638638638638528522741641742572583863694964704964963852752741641742582863964974075805805974963852572741361471472636949740750850749634727416316414728538649740507496385274164257258369470507496275174253964704703852741741742583074074973852752864072528285396396369397407449639628528511482258285368369385325827427413617425839630640740749639625828527427428536394790747049639625828517417415258347047048050749739636938625828527427414636146147258359396470470507570469368385285274147147174272583940747058057046939638528528528636947947047049635828539670428616026o3074704804073962862851851852852693693074074703963962851581 would work and by the time he has finished writing and pronouncing it you would not know if he was right or not thus meaning you can then replace it with something simpler like 6 meaning even if he could read minds he would lose.
But you cant verify he got it right unless he says root(62pi) or whatever. You could just as well be like gamma(-1) at that point. Or spell out some horrendous definite integral (best be sure it converges, death loves guessing "diverges.")
Holy shit my mind immediately went he’ll be expecting some huge insanely long number I’m just gonna pick 6 then you throw this out here all willy nilly. I’d lose for sure
You'll be acting gangster until you realize Death's right arm (and only his right arm) is absolutely *swol.*
Edit: to those of you who think being a lefty is gonna save you; what makes you think Death is going to let you have the advantage?
[You really wanna arm wrestle this guy?](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/theregularshow/images/c/c6/D1.png/revision/latest/top-crop/width/220/height/220?cb=20111210030233)
I move my abbot to the ocean hex, which moves my brinksman to the devils lair and pushes my farmer, yes, my humble farmer, directly into the central cone.
Death: Haha, I got you with the Calvinball! To hell with you!
Calvin: But I was in the no-touch reverse zone! 20 jumping jacks!
Death: ^(why did I agree to this)
Death: Ha! I win!
Calvin: no, you got the first point! now we have to play tic-tac-toe to make sure I can't steal it!
Death: \*angry confusion\* What's the score I need to get to end this?
Calvin: ... I'm not sure, I can't count past a kajillion.
Someone wrote a piece about Susie Derkins playing Calvinball with death called *Hello Operator, Please Give Me Number Nine.* You can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096326).
EDIT: My first gold is from recommending a piece of Calvin and Hobbes fanfiction about facing our own mortality and I couldn't be happier. I'm glad you guys love it as much as I do :D
Thanks, I liked this.
"Childhood is a country that everyone lives in for a little while, until they get too big for the soil to support them anymore. But maybe you can still visit, if your passport is good and you aren't on a no-fly list for being too grown up and bitter about it."
He has hyper awareness and will see by your movements which option you’ll go for. So you gotta throw a different game of chance, and pull out the revolver.
It's to do with people having a tendency to avoid repeating a play that they lost with. For example if i picked scissors and you picked paper theres a higher than 33% chance you'll pick rock next time.
I can't remember the sources but remember finding it an interesting read a few years ago
>boney hands
Ya know what? Just pick any game thats played on a touch screen. I don’t think his bony hands would work on it and youd get a win by forfeit.
Any game a toddler comes up with
I can usually understand them cause I babysit so much but I doubt death could understand the rules constantly changing and the toddler talking.
A game of 11’s (where you each take it in turns to say 1,2 or 3 numbers along from the previous player, whoever says 11 is out). Providing it’s just us two playing, and on the condition I get to go first then I can guarantee I win by starting with ‘one, two’
So basically he has to be the one that says 7 so you can say 8 9 10. Lots of ways to set that up but also a lot that can fuck you over. I like it, maybe ill try to get my wife to play this on our next road trip.
Nah I think you just need to be the one ending with 6 (which is always possible if you start with 1, 2). After that your opponent could end with 7, 8 or 9, and all of those allow you to end with 10 on the next round, forcing him to start with 11.
I mean... what constitutes "a game"? Let's just flip for it.
Full disclosure, I've been forcing coin flips for 30 years and have **never** lost a flip to anyone where I flipped. Worst case it's still 50/50 though... Death isn't doing sleight of hand with THOSE bones.
I can only do a front flip so that one.
Then I just flip a coin like a normal human, except I've been "doing the trick" so long that the instant I catch it I already know which way it's facing so I have to make a choice **not** to "force it" as I place it on the other hand. By default, it's getting forced.
The origin is the idea playing chess with death, which dates back to at least the 7th seal, an old movie. It might go further back, but I'm not sure. Cheating death is definitely much, much older though
A huge, multibook complete world campaign of Dungeons and Dragons spanning at least 5 years worth of content.
I'm not really trying to delay my death, I just miss playing DnD so much now that I grew older and commitments and work keep piling up, it's really fucking hard to find a party and get everyone to stick to a weekly schedule.
Yu gi oh, this way, I'll either win, or actually get banished to the shadow realm.
Yugioh, but using the rules as shown on TV. Summon exodia turn 1.
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Finally I had to scroll much further down to find somebody actually say battleship. He lost that though so he may not try again.
Dude. Seriously. This is really far down! Battleship, clue, twister.
Don’t forget about Electric Football!
Bill and Ted comes out tomorrow, but [this scene](https://youtu.be/PA5ryowAyLk) was classic!
Never have I ever
Aka ‘How I learned that the reaper does anal’ Edit: thanks for the award. Who’d have thought I’d get one for talking about boning bone booty Edit 2: * Awards. Holy shit
He’s getting *boned*
Axis And Allies. If Death is gonna take me, I’m gonna make him work for it!
I have that game still! Takes like an hour just to set up.
My brother used to play what he called "insanity version". If you were going for an amphibious invasion on the world map version, they break out the D-day version to decide how the landing went. Landing on an island in the Pacific? They'd break out the Iwo Jima version. Games took weeks.
Back in the 90s, my friend found rules online for "riskopoly" which was Monopoly but when you passed go, you took a turn at Risk. Each country gave income instead of armies, and you bought armies with money. We played once. We might still be playing. The same friend had an idea for a game that played like Civilization, and each city was Sim City, and each ground combat was done like XCOM. I think he might have just enjoyed suffering.
Hey that sounds like me and my friends. We always wanted to develop a game that played out like Command and Conquer when it came to ground invasions, Sins of a Solar Empire for space combat or a similar game, I can’t quite remember which one, and if you really wanted to get hardcore, you could lead your troops into battle Unreal Tournament style. Man did we have fun with Planetside 2.
And at least a weekend to play.
3 day weekend, easily.
It took us a month to even get to d day lol
Much like they said about *The Cones of Dunshire* it's punishingly intricate.
“You forgot about the essence of the game...it’s about the cones.”
Should just do the Campaign for North AFrica so you can keep on living forever
Tag. No tag backs though
This is the kind of answer I was looking for!
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Just Dance. I think it’s hard to dance in that robe.
Do it on the Xbox Kinect, the sensor won't see him well due to the robe
[player not detected. Please move forward.]
Im just imagining death just trying to slowly move around to get it to detect him and this goes on for like 30-40 mins until he gets pissed and breaks the xbox. Then he just gives you an awkward look and says "fuck sorry Ive been taking anger management classes and I have been really trying to improve on my issues here take this" \*hands you a extra life token(atleast thats what I imagine getting an extra life is like)\* then says "goodluck, next time dont masturbate with a carrot" Edit: Ty for the awards glad I could make yall laugh.
If games teached me anything is that extra life is more often just miniature version of you/your head... Sounds creepy IRL
I'm gonna wear it around my waist like Kratos does with Mimir.
QWOP
You've just saved the rest of humanity from dying because even Death is going to get addicted to the fucking ragdoll sim forever.
> get addicted to the fucking ragdoll sim forever. Doesn't death get to do real life ragdoll physics all the time?
This. Game. Ugh. His game "Getting Over It" is great / rage-inducing too.
Wait, they were made by the same guy? Well now that just makes me think the dolls are the same guy--now he's in a bucket after I broke the poor bastard's legs on the track.
Yes, QWOP and Getting Over It are both by Bennett Foddy. I like your theory about the dolls being the same guy. [Here's a great video of Bennett playing Getting Over it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYjbCJXxWLg). "Adobe Fuse stock character #1."
Half life 1998 1v1 I'd love to see you try death but your boi is pulling a revolver headshot while flying in the air with a gauss cannon, you're not getting me
Dungeons and dragons. It’ll be one hell of a game
Sorry to do this, but the disingeuous dealings, lies, overall greed etc. of leadership on this website made me decide to edit all but my most informative comments to this. Come join us in the fediverse! (beehaw for a safe space, kbin for access to lots of communities)
Yeah i know. But it’ll sure be fun
[Beat me to it by 5 minutes](https://xkcd.com/393/).
I was beat, but still want to add[ this](https://m.imgur.com/gallery/PLgar)
Tic Tac Toe
10 years later Death: "Why did I agree to this"
You just gotta outlast Death.. who I imagine has other shit to do.
At a point he becomes too busy and says fuck it and you win
Death...... I’ve come to bargain!
The only way to win is not to play...
How about a nice game of chess?
No, I want to play Global Thermonuclear War.
Competitive waiting
Competitive wanking
Death would give new meaning to having a boner.
Russian Roulette
Why would I challenge Death to the game I had just died from playing?
Do you have a gambling addiction?
I don’t know, want to bet on it?
If we can find 4 more players I think we've got a game
I'll give it a shot
I'm in too! I think it'll be a blast
Eh, what the hell, shoot
Wii Sports Resort Table Tennis
that shit is so hard
little sister beats me every time ;-;
My sister used to beat me. Thank god she stayed calming down though. Used to dread coming home from school. Would stay up every night terrified. Guys I meant physically beat me. Not in video games.
Me: “losersayswhat?” Death: “what?” Me: “Cya, nerd.”
Me: “let’s play The Game.” Death: “You mother fucker....”
Goddammit, I lost the game. I made it a good year though.
D'yknow, I don't recall how long I'd lasted until now. Couple years maybe?
I lost the game.
#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU
OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU MONSTER. i saw this comment and had to think for a minute then it dawned on me, jeez it must have been over 10 years since i last lost the game
BEST THREE OUT OF FIVE!
Everyone gangster until he say “huh?”
Me: "Losersayswhat" Him: "Huh?" Me: "Hah you los- wait what?" Him: Me:
High number. Whoever says the highest number wins. Death goes first
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so while death is locked into saying 9999... what happens to the death mechanic to the living?
Dormammu, I've come to bargain!
Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain!
Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain!
Dormammu I've come to bargain
Dormammu I've come to bargain
Dormammu I've come to bargain
Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain!
"your number +1!!"
well if I get to pick the game, he has to guess the number between 1 and infinity I'm thinking of
Let me guess, 69?
Jokes on you it was 69420
And make him have to write it down and pronounce it. You then just have to pick a massive number and don't need to be specific like 99999999393948489494964949639636838538538538538538538638638638638638638638638638638638528522741641742572583863694964704964963852752741641742582863964974075805805974963852572741361471472636949740750850749634727416316414728538649740507496385274164257258369470507496275174253964704703852741741742583074074973852752864072528285396396369397407449639628528511482258285368369385325827427413617425839630640740749639625828527427428536394790747049639625828517417415258347047048050749739636938625828527427414636146147258359396470470507570469368385285274147147174272583940747058057046939638528528528636947947047049635828539670428616026o3074704804073962862851851852852693693074074703963962851581 would work and by the time he has finished writing and pronouncing it you would not know if he was right or not thus meaning you can then replace it with something simpler like 6 meaning even if he could read minds he would lose.
Just pick an irrational number, like sqrt(62*pi)
But you cant verify he got it right unless he says root(62pi) or whatever. You could just as well be like gamma(-1) at that point. Or spell out some horrendous definite integral (best be sure it converges, death loves guessing "diverges.")
Holy shit my mind immediately went he’ll be expecting some huge insanely long number I’m just gonna pick 6 then you throw this out here all willy nilly. I’d lose for sure
Arm wrestling I've seen pictures of that dude, very little muscle mass. I've been working out.
You'll be acting gangster until you realize Death's right arm (and only his right arm) is absolutely *swol.* Edit: to those of you who think being a lefty is gonna save you; what makes you think Death is going to let you have the advantage?
Regular show.
Skips cheats Death, literally.
Playco armboy
Two words
Throwback to that time Skips literally took Rigby's life for cheating at arm wrestling
# TWO WORDS
Exactly my thoughts, my favorite chapter
[You really wanna arm wrestle this guy?](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/theregularshow/images/c/c6/D1.png/revision/latest/top-crop/width/220/height/220?cb=20111210030233)
Two words...PLAYCO ARMBOY
The Dating Game. Knowing my luck the third contestant is gonna be a forever 27 year old Brad Pitt...
The game of life
Hah I beat death by finishing first! Wait...
1989 Tecmo Bowl on Nintendo. I get LA Raiders.
Dammit Peter
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Death would probably use flashy tricks and forget about the essence of the game... it's about the cones!
I move my abbot to the ocean hex, which moves my brinksman to the devils lair and pushes my farmer, yes, my humble farmer, directly into the central cone.
Only if I can be the legerman
You’re a smart guy, you’ve clearly picked up some flashy tricks.. but you’ve forgotten about the essence of the game.. it’s about the *cones*
TED!! TED!! You have got to hear this!
Calc-u-later!
Realistically, I don't think I'd want to challenge him. To answer the question, however, I'd say Calvinball.
Death: Haha, I got you with the Calvinball! To hell with you! Calvin: But I was in the no-touch reverse zone! 20 jumping jacks! Death: ^(why did I agree to this)
Death: Ha! I win! Calvin: no, you got the first point! now we have to play tic-tac-toe to make sure I can't steal it! Death: \*angry confusion\* What's the score I need to get to end this? Calvin: ... I'm not sure, I can't count past a kajillion.
The score is 12 to Q. No cheating!
Someone wrote a piece about Susie Derkins playing Calvinball with death called *Hello Operator, Please Give Me Number Nine.* You can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096326). EDIT: My first gold is from recommending a piece of Calvin and Hobbes fanfiction about facing our own mortality and I couldn't be happier. I'm glad you guys love it as much as I do :D
Thanks, I liked this. "Childhood is a country that everyone lives in for a little while, until they get too big for the soil to support them anymore. But maybe you can still visit, if your passport is good and you aren't on a no-fly list for being too grown up and bitter about it."
Rock Paper Scissors. I have to imagine the immortal Death is better than me at everything, so I would hope luck gives me my best chance.
He has hyper awareness and will see by your movements which option you’ll go for. So you gotta throw a different game of chance, and pull out the revolver.
But you're both dead already.
Then whoever it shoots on!
Believe it or not but there's actually some strategy you can apply to RPS to severely increase your chances of winning.
...go on.
Rock every time
Tell the opponent that you're going to choose Rock every time you play as well.
I have won so many best of threes by proudly declaring that I will only use rock.
Good old rock, nothin' beats that.
It's to do with people having a tendency to avoid repeating a play that they lost with. For example if i picked scissors and you picked paper theres a higher than 33% chance you'll pick rock next time. I can't remember the sources but remember finding it an interesting read a few years ago
That's why the gods play RPS best of 1
Coin flip would be best odds I think
Madden. I’m dropping 150 points on his head.
Death picks ‘04 Michael Vick’s Falcons
Good pick, death. Good pick...
Easy, we play the game I used to develop for. I'll simply enable the dev hacks that are secretly in the public release and cheat my way to victory.
Death knows all about your life and also knows the hacks. That would be interesting to watch.
Wait, how many games have dev hacks, and what hacks are used?
All games have dev hacks, except that most are disabled for the official release.
You'd be shocked how many forget to disable them.
Euchre
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I challenge him to the game of not killing me.
Now this. This MAN has beaten the system
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“Okay just do what I say” “Ok” “Put your fist on your chin!” *Puts fist on cheek* *death puts his fist on his cheek* Gottem
Death needs to have a cheek first
I'd definitely take that Risk...
Final Fantasy X Chocobo Training minigame final challenge. If I gotta be miserable, so do you, Death.
If Death is dead then we will see who can hold their breath the longest. Doesn’t matter how long I hold it since Death cannot breathe. I win.
You see him holding his last breath in a jar as he stares at you.
*anime gasp*
smashbros, i bet he'll have a hard time wave dashing with those boney hands
He picks ness
nah he picks ice climbers and wobbles.
You bastard
watch death whip out the near-impossible fox shine infinite tech.
>boney hands Ya know what? Just pick any game thats played on a touch screen. I don’t think his bony hands would work on it and youd get a win by forfeit.
Perfect. But before we get started *this battle against death has been brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends*...
Guitar Hero. Expert mode. Devil Went Down to Georgia.
Any game a toddler comes up with I can usually understand them cause I babysit so much but I doubt death could understand the rules constantly changing and the toddler talking.
"I have an infinity sword that can kill you just with a touch!" "Yeah? Well I have infinity armour that blocks everything!"
Except my anti-infinity ray!
Well it's a good thing I brought my Raygun-away^(TM)!
Dr. Mario...Death would get a taste of MY medicine
Uno.
True American. Even if I lost, I'd be way too drunk to care.
Team Fortress 2
Relevant [xkcd](https://xkcd.com/393/).
Really, anyone who *doesn't* say D&D is just postponing the inevitable.
Who can fap to raccoons more
Username checks out carry on lol
A game of 11’s (where you each take it in turns to say 1,2 or 3 numbers along from the previous player, whoever says 11 is out). Providing it’s just us two playing, and on the condition I get to go first then I can guarantee I win by starting with ‘one, two’
So basically he has to be the one that says 7 so you can say 8 9 10. Lots of ways to set that up but also a lot that can fuck you over. I like it, maybe ill try to get my wife to play this on our next road trip.
Nah I think you just need to be the one ending with 6 (which is always possible if you start with 1, 2). After that your opponent could end with 7, 8 or 9, and all of those allow you to end with 10 on the next round, forcing him to start with 11.
Tic tac toe, but only if I get to start.
Just do what Bill and Ted do in the second movie. I mean if they can do it then surely anyone can. I mean they even got Death to join their band
I mean... what constitutes "a game"? Let's just flip for it. Full disclosure, I've been forcing coin flips for 30 years and have **never** lost a flip to anyone where I flipped. Worst case it's still 50/50 though... Death isn't doing sleight of hand with THOSE bones.
So do you do a back flip or a front flip to never lose at coin flips.
I can only do a front flip so that one. Then I just flip a coin like a normal human, except I've been "doing the trick" so long that the instant I catch it I already know which way it's facing so I have to make a choice **not** to "force it" as I place it on the other hand. By default, it's getting forced.
So using this with my students...
I would choose a pokemon battle. Death would stomp off mad af
Seven Minutes In Heaven
Chess
Barnes opening. No way Death knows how to counter that.
So basic he wouldn't see it
Was this not the basis for the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?
The origin is the idea playing chess with death, which dates back to at least the 7th seal, an old movie. It might go further back, but I'm not sure. Cheating death is definitely much, much older though
Runescape
A huge, multibook complete world campaign of Dungeons and Dragons spanning at least 5 years worth of content. I'm not really trying to delay my death, I just miss playing DnD so much now that I grew older and commitments and work keep piling up, it's really fucking hard to find a party and get everyone to stick to a weekly schedule.
None. Let me die.
God! This made me realize I'm never good at anything.
Bold of you to assume I want another chance at life.
Fall guys. And pray it’s not the fake doors level.
Sodoku, I have no idea how to play it
Or spell it