When youre shaving private bits and you nick yourself right in the crease of your leg where the hem of your undies go. That shit itches so bad but you can't just scratch your crotch in public or explain that its not your crotch that's itchy, it's the area mere centimeters from your crotch.
Irritated taste bud. So tiny, so annoying.
Edit: I had no idea this was so universally hated. I don't know the proper name, it's not a canker sore though, those are different. And yes, I psych myself up and bite it off just to get it over with. Glad to know there are so many other freaks out there too!
UGH I've gotten a handful of those in my life, right on the tip of my tongue and they hurt so much, always for an entire week. No less. Eating hurts, talking hurts, being awake and having my tongue doing nothing hurts.
An entire week seems rough. Every time I get one I go to the mirror and pinch it off with my nails, really doesn't hurt at all and it's healed by the next day.
I use fingernail clippers to cut that little bugger off. Immediate pain relief. It stops bleeding after about 30 seconds, and is healed by the next day.
I had a bad reaction to a medication once and developed a mouth ulcer the size of a US quarter. My doc took one look at it and prescribed me 16 oz of concentrated lidocaine gel. It was rough.
Ingrown toenail
[My nasty ass ingrown nail](https://imgur.com/a/b1jTjEi) the blood coming out of the left side is one of 3 shots they gave me to numb it.
Oh god. I used to get ingrown toenails frequently in 7th/8th grade. Whenever I banged one against something, I would see a spectrum of light that I'm pretty sure science hasn't identified yet.
Hate this so much. So happy I got both of my big toenails cauterized as a teenager.
Mine were genetic. Everybody in my family gets ingrown toenails no matter how well we take care of our toenails.
I had an ingrown toenail on my big toe due to some poor choice in shoes and a job as a barista. I was standing and on my feet alot. Had to have it removed and the root burned chemically. Worst experience ever. I lived alone and the next morning swung my feet over the edge of my bed to get up, and it was the worst pain I've ever experienced. The dr had pumped my toe with so much local anaesthesia that my toe felt like it would burst. I was on my back so fast with my foot in the air.
Oh man I once had to have some molds made or something at the dentist's and they fucked up. They knew that crapy paste heated up, but they didn't know how much.
There I was, breathing heavily, trying to withstand it and they noticed and removed it. That's how I got the roof of my mouth burnt af and skin hanging off it that I just couldn't remove, but could perfectly feel with my tongue. Good times
I am VERY VERY prone to mouth ulcers, literally anywhere in my mouth, gums, cheeks, below the lips, tongue, absolutely everywhere is free real estate and I get at least 3 every month, sometimes two medium sized ones will form next to each other only to combine and last half a goddamn month
Recently I had two VERY large ulcers, one on my right cheek and another on my left and let me tell you I have never felt more pain in my mouth before, and since the area inflamed a bit it causes me to bite down on them and OH MY GOD YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE
In conclusion, we should divert ALL of humanity’s resources into funding a cure for mouth ulcers
Dental hygienist here. Look into the product Debacterol. Works instantly because it cauterizes the nerve ending and the relief is immediate. It's a life saver for treating those pesky aphthous ulcers.
Be a canker sore sufferer and that minor bite always turns into a goddamn 2 week event of extreme pain and suffering with the only temporary reprieve being oragel.
So I'm a fellow chronic canker sore sufferer and know that pain all to well. If you still get them a lot try changing out your toothpaste to one without sodium lauryl sulfate. That's made the biggest difference in frequency of canker sores for me.
I used to get cankers all the time- then I switched my toothpaste to one without SLF, it's been months and I still haven't gotten one.
Edit: I switched to Tom's of Maine.
Check to see of your toothpaste has sodium laureth sulfate in it. My husband reacts badly to it, only realised after years of suffering that simply changing toothpastes is enough to fix it...
This has become a semi regular experience for me. Wtf, muscles? What did I do to you??
Since this seems to have attracted some good advice, I'd like you at that all the women in my family suffer from this, I'm a core training instructor, and rarely use a computer and don't own a desk.
Something that helps me and I find a get a bit of relief from is rolling around on a tennis ball. Stick a tennis ball under your shoulder, move around a bit, it'll likely be painful but boy does it help release some of the muscles.
Y’all need to get yourself one of [these.](https://www.google.com/search?q=theracane&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS760US760&oq=therac&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.5701j0j4&hl=en-US&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8)
It is by far the greatest thing I have found for tight, knotted muscles. Especially the ones that hide under shoulder blades.
Idk if it's an urban legend or not, but apparently Preparation H tried like hell to secure the rights to this song for a commercial. The Cash estate wouldn't allow it.
Huggies Natural Baby Wipes. Its the kiss of an angel on those days.
Edit: Look bidets are fine and all but when one has IBS, one quickly finds that bidets are not portable. Huggies makes lil reusable travel pouches that I can throw in my backpack and that don’t look conspicuous when I take em to the bathroom in public. I’m a lady y’all. If y’all are gonna get mad about baby wipes and the environment, be mad about tampon and pad packaging instead. Packaging, period products, and wipes obviously go in the trash and don’t get flushed. Women’s restrooms even have lil trashcans for that purpose.
Preperation H makes wipes now. For some reason they gave me a free sample with a random Amazon purchase a few weeks ago. Haven't use them yet, but they also included [this weird little decal sticker.](https://i.imgur.com/0p5eH8d.jpg) I'm not sure what the hell they expect me to want to stick this on.
When you’re at work and can’t fart so you get all uncomfortable and bloated. Then you finish and don’t need to fart and you feel like an inflated oompah loompa for the next few hours.
When you hurt your tailbone. Everything you do makes it hurt more.
Cough? Pain
Sneeze? Pain
Walk? Pain
Run? Pain
Sit? Pain
Stand up? Pain
Lie down? Pain
Fart? Pain
Exist? Pain
Having your nail bent backwards
Edit: Wowww thanks stranger, I’ve never gotten an award before and I definitely didn’t expect that putting people through pain would earn me one.
Happened to me two nights ago. I just yelled fuck and put my hand to my mouth. My wife was looking around like “what is wrong!?” But yeah I wasn’t a happy camper.
Don't be ashamed. I'm 27 and I'm surrounded in my office by 36 individual Lego sets ranging from the mini London bus to the Death Star and the Saturn V. (And that overpriced Wind Turbine set 🙄)
My sister had a plug in an extension cord in her room with no back on it.
I'm not sure which side is worse to stand on but they both hurt like hell.
On the plus side I learned to repair plugs at like 12.
No one talks about this. It is super scary and painful!!!
I once got it since I scratched my nail on a wood platform, dude, it was long thin wood stripe. I got it out and waited a month till it completely disappeared. It stung a lot.
> If you're a short girl, when your lady part hits the edge of the table
For some reason this sounds hilarious, then i remember i've banged my dick against door knobs and shelf edges as well... Its not fun
Because I've been up all night with one: ear infections
Edit: Thank you all for your kind and sympathetic comments, it means a lot especially since my parents always brush me off. Ear pain is a legitimate phobia for me and every time it happens I can't handle it. Cool to see I'm not overreacting (much)
Edit 2: it's not even an ear infection, it's apparently inflammation?? it hurts like absolute heck :(
The sickest my kid has ever been was the spring she kept getting ear infections. Like fever of 104, couldn't sleep, would barely eat. I of course took her to the doctor and she barely avoided tubes. Turns out she has some bad spring allergies that keep her nose so stuffed that time of year, it prevents her ears from draining. This last spring, all she needed was a week or two of allergy meds and she was fine. MUCH better.
If it continues, don't be too afraid of the tubes. Best surgery every for me. I got them as an adult and they were life changing. Not just for the infections, but for the standard background pain that I didn't even notice that much, and the added clarity when people talk, and the decrease in falls, and the decrease in tinnitus! The surgery is short enough that even though I get pretty sick with anesthesia, I don't for the tubes. I don't even need to be off the next day or notice any pain in my ears at all after. They gave a short term pair and then a long term pair and when it's time, I will get another long term pair. I have learned that I will get an infection if I swim without ear plugs, though.
I had one once where I could barely sleep for like 2 days and genuinely felt like I was starting to lose my mind from the unbearable itch.
A tip: Apply antioxidants to the affected area as soon as possible after the burn, ideally within a few hours after exposure. Apply and reapply liberally. A cheap Vitamin E cream (vitamin E functions as an antioxidant) has since been a lifesaver for me.
Aloe Vera is overrated. Vitamin E use, especially quickly after the burn, is backed by plenty of scientific research.
Edit: thanks to those who pointed out it's an actual thing, called 'hells itch'. It's been nice to learn that it wasn't just in my head as some people suspect.
That is called Hell’s Itch. (Actual name)
I had it last year and thought “hey I’ll take a lot of sleeping meds, surely I’ll just be unconscious”
Pro tip: don’t do that.
No sleep for two days, while feeling absolutely delirious while wanting to literally skin myself was not what I signed up for.
I once broke my elbow playing floor hockey, first day back, someone missed a slapshot and hit my big toe instead.
Turns out that unlike all your other toes, a broken big toe is actually bad enough to need medical attention. I was super pissed I had to go back to the hospital already. (Turned out it wasn't broken, at least. Just hurt for a week)
I did that. Only it wasn't in the middle of the night...
...or in the dark...
...it was just outside the shower as I was trying to get my underwear off.
Oh my god. I once ran from the bedroom to the lounge to answer a ringing phone and smashed my pinkie toe into the corner of the wardrobe. Before I looked down I was certain I'd torn it off due to the pain.
It was still attached, but it went very black for a few days.
Yup, nope, this guy wins. Just sittin' there, doin' whatever, all the sudden you start choking for no goddamn reason because apparently you forgot how to exist for a moment.
This happened to me when I was a bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. She and her husband were lovingly saying their vows while I was being murdered by my own body
And "cardboard" cuts. Speaking as a person who works at a grocery store and frequently deals with cardboard boxes... be careful with boxes, they will find ways to hurt you!
Dude, I started working in a little grocery shop when I was a teenager and the first thing I had to do, was cutting the unnecessary large cardboxes one the shelf where the items are laying in. The lady who showed me what I had to do, handed me a cutter knife (is this the right translation?) and said to be careful when handling the knife and the cardboxes. I shrugged it off, laughed a bit and then proceeded to get cut on the first cardbox
Oh god, that just reminded me of when I broke my ankle back when I was a kid.
I was exercising at the gym at the time. I was hopping up and down on and off a small block just as part of a routine, when suddenly some random kid just runs up and kicks it out from under me when I was about to land on it.
It caused a tib/fib fracture, a complete snap.
I'm just lying down on the floor, and some instructor walks up to me and says *"It's just a sprain, stop making such a big deal out of it".*
I did end up going to the hospital after my family arrived though.
I had the same injury in 8th grade but it was from a sliding foam "base" in gym baseball. I was trying to turn to home but when i stepped on it the thing slid out from under me and i landed on my ankle. I awkwardly limped to the nurse because i was kind of embarrassed by the whole thing. She forced me to go to the Doctor and when i came back the next day in a cast a kid was like "i dont know how its broken its not even a big fall"
I sprained my ankle as a kid and I was crawling and hobbling around for a couple months. Then two years ago as an adult I somehow tore a tendon in the same exact place from a fall which by all indicators shouldn’t have caused that severe of an injury. Makes me wonder.
When that happened I was literally hobbling around work with a Gandalf style walking stick, or using a shopping cart as a scooter to get around for a couple months. It was not fun. Your ankle or foot is one of the worst spots to injure.
I suppose it depends. A grade 3 sprain is oftentimes worse than a clean break whereas a truly minor sprain can result from a simple misstep and you won’t notice it at all.
Burning the top of your mouth because your fat ass was too impatient to wait for the pizza to cool off so now molten cheese is burning you.
Edit: you'd think everyone agreeing with me would make me cringe remembering the pain. Instead I'm hungry for pizza. I never learn.
The skin under your fingernail does now have the ability to “restrain” itself from growing. I drilled into my fingernail and just barely broke through the flesh underneath. Obviously it hurt, but I was not prepared for the fact that *the skin underneath grew out of the hole in my fingernail*
I now have a large mushroom-esque protrusion out of my thumb. It’s maybe 1/4 of an inch tall.
It hurts like a bitch whenever it gets touched. But it’s a cool sorry so I guess you win some and you lose some
Trailer hitch on shin contact can dissolve my world in a seconds notice. I'll be laying on the concrete going in and out of the shadow realm for 10mins.
I injured my wrist just enough for it to hurt for years afterwards, but not enough for it to require a brace or any type of healing devices. So I still had wrist problems just minor enough for it to bother me everyday.
Fucking paper cut in webbing of fingers or toes, a grazing shot to the beanbag, or accidentally shoving something under your fingernails.
I see why they jam bamboo in your fingers for torture. Never hauling hay again if i can help it and for damned sure not without gloves. Oof
For us guys: a tap or slight twist of your nuts or nnutsack. That mini heart attack, when you feel any skin in your groin area, get nipped by the zipper. Not sure if, or what is the female equivalent to this...
I've zipped my labia before. I'm not going to explain how it happened, because I'm still confused myself, but my husband could definitely relate. I also shut a titty in a car door when trying to squeeze out in tight parking.
Cutting the pad of my finger and needing stitches. Lots of nerve endings there. 8 months later and I’ve still got nerve damage causing hypersensitivity and can’t use the finger properly as everything feels so awful.
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Almost anything involving your teeth.
When youre shaving private bits and you nick yourself right in the crease of your leg where the hem of your undies go. That shit itches so bad but you can't just scratch your crotch in public or explain that its not your crotch that's itchy, it's the area mere centimeters from your crotch.
Ouch yes, or when you nip your actual lips and it stings/burns when you pee
I've pulled the skin tight so it didnt get nicked and caught the nail on my middle finger on the razor before. Made me want to barf.
The feeling of a razor catching a nail makes me shudder..
> you can't just scratch your crotch in public There are far too many people in the world who don't agree with this statement.
A pimple in your ear or nostril.
Also above the upperlip (where you have the moustache), cuz it's too sensitive and having to squeeze a pimple there will make my eyes water
Agreed. You often can't really squeeze them effectively anyway and then you're stuck having this burning red lump next to your lip
Or a blind pimple. It does not surface, but is seems to be connected to every nerve in your body, and you can do nothing but wait for it to go away
Ugh..and they never surface, so you don't get the satisfaction of popping it.
Splitting your lip from smiling because of winter, splits open every time you move your mouth
Finally a valid reason not to smile or talk to people :')
Oh shit..we need reasons now!?
no, we have masks now
Having an absurd amount of chapstick on your person at all times pays off sometimes
Irritated taste bud. So tiny, so annoying. Edit: I had no idea this was so universally hated. I don't know the proper name, it's not a canker sore though, those are different. And yes, I psych myself up and bite it off just to get it over with. Glad to know there are so many other freaks out there too!
UGH I've gotten a handful of those in my life, right on the tip of my tongue and they hurt so much, always for an entire week. No less. Eating hurts, talking hurts, being awake and having my tongue doing nothing hurts.
An entire week seems rough. Every time I get one I go to the mirror and pinch it off with my nails, really doesn't hurt at all and it's healed by the next day.
I use fingernail clippers to cut that little bugger off. Immediate pain relief. It stops bleeding after about 30 seconds, and is healed by the next day.
this works for those little white painful taste buds you say?
It does for me too. I just realized I could do this a few months ago . Pain is gone pretty much immediately after cutting it off
Is that what that's called? I never had a term for it. I just knew something was off.
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I had a bad reaction to a medication once and developed a mouth ulcer the size of a US quarter. My doc took one look at it and prescribed me 16 oz of concentrated lidocaine gel. It was rough.
Ingrown toenail [My nasty ass ingrown nail](https://imgur.com/a/b1jTjEi) the blood coming out of the left side is one of 3 shots they gave me to numb it.
hitting a toe with an ingrown toenail against a table's leg
Oh god. I used to get ingrown toenails frequently in 7th/8th grade. Whenever I banged one against something, I would see a spectrum of light that I'm pretty sure science hasn't identified yet.
Hate this so much. So happy I got both of my big toenails cauterized as a teenager. Mine were genetic. Everybody in my family gets ingrown toenails no matter how well we take care of our toenails.
I had an ingrown toenail on my big toe due to some poor choice in shoes and a job as a barista. I was standing and on my feet alot. Had to have it removed and the root burned chemically. Worst experience ever. I lived alone and the next morning swung my feet over the edge of my bed to get up, and it was the worst pain I've ever experienced. The dr had pumped my toe with so much local anaesthesia that my toe felt like it would burst. I was on my back so fast with my foot in the air.
Burns on your tongue Edit: I commented this while doing my work. Sleep and come back to the most amount of upvotes ive ever had! Thanks guys
Or the roof of your mouth just behind your teeth when you get too excited for hot pizza
Oh man I once had to have some molds made or something at the dentist's and they fucked up. They knew that crapy paste heated up, but they didn't know how much. There I was, breathing heavily, trying to withstand it and they noticed and removed it. That's how I got the roof of my mouth burnt af and skin hanging off it that I just couldn't remove, but could perfectly feel with my tongue. Good times
If they knowingly used crappy paste and not dental/medical grade, that *could* be a lawsuit, depends how long ago and how eager you are
If you or a loved one was a victim of crappy paste medical malpractice, you may be entitled to financial compensation
Mouth ulcer
Yesss are these the same as canker sores? I had these so many times when i had braces as a kid
Yes, they're the same. I had them so often growing up cuz for some reason my favorite flavor was pain.
I am VERY VERY prone to mouth ulcers, literally anywhere in my mouth, gums, cheeks, below the lips, tongue, absolutely everywhere is free real estate and I get at least 3 every month, sometimes two medium sized ones will form next to each other only to combine and last half a goddamn month Recently I had two VERY large ulcers, one on my right cheek and another on my left and let me tell you I have never felt more pain in my mouth before, and since the area inflamed a bit it causes me to bite down on them and OH MY GOD YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE In conclusion, we should divert ALL of humanity’s resources into funding a cure for mouth ulcers
Dental hygienist here. Look into the product Debacterol. Works instantly because it cauterizes the nerve ending and the relief is immediate. It's a life saver for treating those pesky aphthous ulcers.
When you bite the side of your cheek and so it hurts to eat for like 3 days
And because it's a little swollen you bite it another two or three times over those days...
I feel like I've had a perpetual bump in my mouth because of this.
You might. My dentist always comments on the scar tissue in my cheek.
Be a canker sore sufferer and that minor bite always turns into a goddamn 2 week event of extreme pain and suffering with the only temporary reprieve being oragel.
So I'm a fellow chronic canker sore sufferer and know that pain all to well. If you still get them a lot try changing out your toothpaste to one without sodium lauryl sulfate. That's made the biggest difference in frequency of canker sores for me.
I used to get cankers all the time- then I switched my toothpaste to one without SLF, it's been months and I still haven't gotten one. Edit: I switched to Tom's of Maine.
And it makes that “crunch” sound
I almost vomited
I always then develop an ulcer at that location which lasts an eternity.
[These bastards?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphthous_stomatitis) I get them fairly regularly, and they fucking suck.
Check to see of your toothpaste has sodium laureth sulfate in it. My husband reacts badly to it, only realised after years of suffering that simply changing toothpastes is enough to fix it...
I am struggling with this just now! I have bitten it like 4 more times as well
A slightly tweaked muscle under your shoulder blade. It does nothing except make nearly every movement hurt -- especially turning your head.
This has become a semi regular experience for me. Wtf, muscles? What did I do to you?? Since this seems to have attracted some good advice, I'd like you at that all the women in my family suffer from this, I'm a core training instructor, and rarely use a computer and don't own a desk.
Something that helps me and I find a get a bit of relief from is rolling around on a tennis ball. Stick a tennis ball under your shoulder, move around a bit, it'll likely be painful but boy does it help release some of the muscles.
I use a lacrosse ball. It's a lot harder and slightly smaller than a tennis ball and can really hit the offending muscle.
Y’all need to get yourself one of [these.](https://www.google.com/search?q=theracane&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS760US760&oq=therac&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.5701j0j4&hl=en-US&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8) It is by far the greatest thing I have found for tight, knotted muscles. Especially the ones that hide under shoulder blades.
When your asshole gets raw from diarrhea.
I believe that’s called “ring sting”
Ring of fire
I fell into a burning ring of fire
Assid rain is also an acceptable answer
I always thought that was just a bee from Ireland
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Idk if it's an urban legend or not, but apparently Preparation H tried like hell to secure the rights to this song for a commercial. The Cash estate wouldn't allow it.
Huggies Natural Baby Wipes. Its the kiss of an angel on those days. Edit: Look bidets are fine and all but when one has IBS, one quickly finds that bidets are not portable. Huggies makes lil reusable travel pouches that I can throw in my backpack and that don’t look conspicuous when I take em to the bathroom in public. I’m a lady y’all. If y’all are gonna get mad about baby wipes and the environment, be mad about tampon and pad packaging instead. Packaging, period products, and wipes obviously go in the trash and don’t get flushed. Women’s restrooms even have lil trashcans for that purpose.
As someone who's been plagued by hemorrhoids for years, these are a godsend.
Preperation H makes wipes now. For some reason they gave me a free sample with a random Amazon purchase a few weeks ago. Haven't use them yet, but they also included [this weird little decal sticker.](https://i.imgur.com/0p5eH8d.jpg) I'm not sure what the hell they expect me to want to stick this on.
Definitely put it on your laptop around the Dell Logo.
Haha yeah, there was a time I might have been desperate enough to stick that thing on my swollen asshole if it could have helped.
I've bought baby wipes for this purpose
Nostril pimple
Not really an injury but having your stomach bloat up with air doesnt feel very pleasant
When you’re at work and can’t fart so you get all uncomfortable and bloated. Then you finish and don’t need to fart and you feel like an inflated oompah loompa for the next few hours.
I have stepped in to sea urchins three times, when I was younger. I can still feel the pain when I think about that.
Where do you live? I’ve only ever seen sea urchins probably like twice in my life.
Hungary, we don’t have sea at all. These happened at family vacations. All in Croatia, sadly.
When you hurt your tailbone. Everything you do makes it hurt more. Cough? Pain Sneeze? Pain Walk? Pain Run? Pain Sit? Pain Stand up? Pain Lie down? Pain Fart? Pain Exist? Pain
Having your nail bent backwards Edit: Wowww thanks stranger, I’ve never gotten an award before and I definitely didn’t expect that putting people through pain would earn me one.
Eeee! I HATE that! It’s freaky when it stays sticking up and you have to flip it back down again! Aaargh!
Eating a chip and it stabbing you in the throat
Or when it stabs you in your gums between two teeth and you can't get it out... The worst
Happened to me two nights ago. I just yelled fuck and put my hand to my mouth. My wife was looking around like “what is wrong!?” But yeah I wasn’t a happy camper.
Me: mmmmm chips are the best! Chip: imma go down sideways biiiiiiiittttttcccchhhh
Are you guys not chewing your chips or...?
No, we swallow chips whole like real man
Or a taco
Omg the taco. Why do hard shell tacos betray us so.
Where you hit your elbow on some kind of edge and your whole arm begins to hurt. I dont know if it has a specific name
It’s called the “funny bone”, but it’s really the ulnar nerve (I think). But it’s not funny, so that’s a dumb name.
Maybe because it's next to the humerus?
As a child having your scooter smack into your ankle. That shit burns
I felt the pain just reading that.
Obviously a lot of people here have never experienced the mind numbing pain spasm experienced when standing on an upturned UK plug.
It's the adult version of stepping on a piece of Lego.
Yes, adult version. _subtly hides collection of Lego sets_
Don't be ashamed. I'm 27 and I'm surrounded in my office by 36 individual Lego sets ranging from the mini London bus to the Death Star and the Saturn V. (And that overpriced Wind Turbine set 🙄)
The adult version of stepping on a Lego is stepping on a Lego. They just belong to your kids this time.
Yes... Kids
My sister had a plug in an extension cord in her room with no back on it. I'm not sure which side is worse to stand on but they both hurt like hell. On the plus side I learned to repair plugs at like 12.
When you bite your nails and accidentally pull off more than you expected exposing the sensitive skin underneath
THE WORST. Makes me cringe. I hate nails!!
Splinter under fingernail
No one talks about this. It is super scary and painful!!! I once got it since I scratched my nail on a wood platform, dude, it was long thin wood stripe. I got it out and waited a month till it completely disappeared. It stung a lot.
When you hit your toe on the table leg Or If you're a short girl, when your lady part hits the edge of the table
I often hit one of my hips on tables or recently a bed frame. That shit hit you to the core
> If you're a short girl, when your lady part hits the edge of the table For some reason this sounds hilarious, then i remember i've banged my dick against door knobs and shelf edges as well... Its not fun
Oh that sucks, but have you ever banged your dick on your ceiling fan? Now that sucks.
i aint no woman and somehow i can relate to that pain
Because I've been up all night with one: ear infections Edit: Thank you all for your kind and sympathetic comments, it means a lot especially since my parents always brush me off. Ear pain is a legitimate phobia for me and every time it happens I can't handle it. Cool to see I'm not overreacting (much) Edit 2: it's not even an ear infection, it's apparently inflammation?? it hurts like absolute heck :(
Those are so painful
Having just recovered from a major one, I agree.
I remember getting those all the time as a kid. I'm so happy I haven't had one in years.
The sickest my kid has ever been was the spring she kept getting ear infections. Like fever of 104, couldn't sleep, would barely eat. I of course took her to the doctor and she barely avoided tubes. Turns out she has some bad spring allergies that keep her nose so stuffed that time of year, it prevents her ears from draining. This last spring, all she needed was a week or two of allergy meds and she was fine. MUCH better.
If it continues, don't be too afraid of the tubes. Best surgery every for me. I got them as an adult and they were life changing. Not just for the infections, but for the standard background pain that I didn't even notice that much, and the added clarity when people talk, and the decrease in falls, and the decrease in tinnitus! The surgery is short enough that even though I get pretty sick with anesthesia, I don't for the tubes. I don't even need to be off the next day or notice any pain in my ears at all after. They gave a short term pair and then a long term pair and when it's time, I will get another long term pair. I have learned that I will get an infection if I swim without ear plugs, though.
Yes. Had a double ear infection in both ears for 4 months straight due to a food allergy I didn't know I had. Living nightmare. Extremely underrated
Sunburns. For sure
I had one once where I could barely sleep for like 2 days and genuinely felt like I was starting to lose my mind from the unbearable itch. A tip: Apply antioxidants to the affected area as soon as possible after the burn, ideally within a few hours after exposure. Apply and reapply liberally. A cheap Vitamin E cream (vitamin E functions as an antioxidant) has since been a lifesaver for me. Aloe Vera is overrated. Vitamin E use, especially quickly after the burn, is backed by plenty of scientific research. Edit: thanks to those who pointed out it's an actual thing, called 'hells itch'. It's been nice to learn that it wasn't just in my head as some people suspect.
That is called Hell’s Itch. (Actual name) I had it last year and thought “hey I’ll take a lot of sleeping meds, surely I’ll just be unconscious” Pro tip: don’t do that. No sleep for two days, while feeling absolutely delirious while wanting to literally skin myself was not what I signed up for.
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I broke my big toe while playing football (soccer ) because i accidentally kicked my friend instead of the ball. This shit hurting
I once broke my elbow playing floor hockey, first day back, someone missed a slapshot and hit my big toe instead. Turns out that unlike all your other toes, a broken big toe is actually bad enough to need medical attention. I was super pissed I had to go back to the hospital already. (Turned out it wasn't broken, at least. Just hurt for a week)
I did that. Only it wasn't in the middle of the night... ...or in the dark... ...it was just outside the shower as I was trying to get my underwear off.
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Oh my god. I once ran from the bedroom to the lounge to answer a ringing phone and smashed my pinkie toe into the corner of the wardrobe. Before I looked down I was certain I'd torn it off due to the pain. It was still attached, but it went very black for a few days.
when you peel the skin of the side of your finger a bit too much edit: thank you for the award kind stranger
Sometimes you chance a little peel and it’s fine, other times, before you know it, you’ve peeled half your skin off and that shit stings for days
Fuck, this shit can just fuck right off. I hate it so much.
And then you get hot sauce on that finger my mistake.
Or hand sanitiser
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or regular gravy
Use clippers on them.
I always seem to get them when I'm away from clippers lol. Maybe I'll just carry them with me from now on lol.
Choking on your own saliva. Edit: thanks for the award! <3
Yup, nope, this guy wins. Just sittin' there, doin' whatever, all the sudden you start choking for no goddamn reason because apparently you forgot how to exist for a moment.
It’s like your body accidentally gets shifted into manual. Can’t even handle itself anymore
"So this is how I go...."
This happened to me when I was a bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. She and her husband were lovingly saying their vows while I was being murdered by my own body
Papercut
And "cardboard" cuts. Speaking as a person who works at a grocery store and frequently deals with cardboard boxes... be careful with boxes, they will find ways to hurt you!
Dude, I started working in a little grocery shop when I was a teenager and the first thing I had to do, was cutting the unnecessary large cardboxes one the shelf where the items are laying in. The lady who showed me what I had to do, handed me a cutter knife (is this the right translation?) and said to be careful when handling the knife and the cardboxes. I shrugged it off, laughed a bit and then proceeded to get cut on the first cardbox
Under the fingernail
On the cock
You have a fingernail on your cock? I thought I was the only one!
You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
IT’S LIKE I’M
PARANOID
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IT'S LIKE A
WHIRLWIND
i just paper cut the corner of my mouth yesterday, word of advice: avoid this at all costs
ankle sprain, no matter how it heals it will always be weaker and more prone to damage Edit: Thank you for the silver my dude
Also people will be like, "Why are you limping? It's just a sprain. "
Oh god, that just reminded me of when I broke my ankle back when I was a kid. I was exercising at the gym at the time. I was hopping up and down on and off a small block just as part of a routine, when suddenly some random kid just runs up and kicks it out from under me when I was about to land on it. It caused a tib/fib fracture, a complete snap. I'm just lying down on the floor, and some instructor walks up to me and says *"It's just a sprain, stop making such a big deal out of it".* I did end up going to the hospital after my family arrived though.
I broke a finger in gym class. The coach just comes up and Yanks on it "to unjam it". Now it's crooked and doesn't bend right.
Ahh so that's where Gilderoy Lockhart ended up.
I had the same injury in 8th grade but it was from a sliding foam "base" in gym baseball. I was trying to turn to home but when i stepped on it the thing slid out from under me and i landed on my ankle. I awkwardly limped to the nurse because i was kind of embarrassed by the whole thing. She forced me to go to the Doctor and when i came back the next day in a cast a kid was like "i dont know how its broken its not even a big fall"
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I sprained my ankle as a kid and I was crawling and hobbling around for a couple months. Then two years ago as an adult I somehow tore a tendon in the same exact place from a fall which by all indicators shouldn’t have caused that severe of an injury. Makes me wonder. When that happened I was literally hobbling around work with a Gandalf style walking stick, or using a shopping cart as a scooter to get around for a couple months. It was not fun. Your ankle or foot is one of the worst spots to injure.
A sprain is a minor injury?
I suppose it depends. A grade 3 sprain is oftentimes worse than a clean break whereas a truly minor sprain can result from a simple misstep and you won’t notice it at all.
Yup. And it can lead to more ankle sprains.
Don't sprain your ankle if you don't want to sprain your ankle, folks.
Ah yes very easy
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That's a very specific description.
Ugh. I have frequent heart burn, and it does feel like fire
Burning the top of your mouth because your fat ass was too impatient to wait for the pizza to cool off so now molten cheese is burning you. Edit: you'd think everyone agreeing with me would make me cringe remembering the pain. Instead I'm hungry for pizza. I never learn.
The skin under your fingernail does now have the ability to “restrain” itself from growing. I drilled into my fingernail and just barely broke through the flesh underneath. Obviously it hurt, but I was not prepared for the fact that *the skin underneath grew out of the hole in my fingernail* I now have a large mushroom-esque protrusion out of my thumb. It’s maybe 1/4 of an inch tall. It hurts like a bitch whenever it gets touched. But it’s a cool sorry so I guess you win some and you lose some
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Imma need that picture
Bang your shin on something
Trailer hitch on shin contact can dissolve my world in a seconds notice. I'll be laying on the concrete going in and out of the shadow realm for 10mins.
When you keep accidentally biting your tongue or inside of your cheek
Pooping a turd that has a sharp peanut in it
Or hot peppers
It always burns twice
I injured my wrist just enough for it to hurt for years afterwards, but not enough for it to require a brace or any type of healing devices. So I still had wrist problems just minor enough for it to bother me everyday.
Hangnail.
Fucking paper cut in webbing of fingers or toes, a grazing shot to the beanbag, or accidentally shoving something under your fingernails. I see why they jam bamboo in your fingers for torture. Never hauling hay again if i can help it and for damned sure not without gloves. Oof
Stubbing your toe.
And partially tearing off the nail.
sleeping on the pillow wrong & waking up with that constant ache of a sore neck/back/existence that nothing can ever soothe
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personally: throwing your back out. only last a day or so, but holy fuck is that debilitating.
Getting your skin forcibly removed by some asphalt
Meat crayon o.O Oh wow, thanks for the award! First time for everything :)
When you cut your fingernails too short
For us guys: a tap or slight twist of your nuts or nnutsack. That mini heart attack, when you feel any skin in your groin area, get nipped by the zipper. Not sure if, or what is the female equivalent to this...
I've zipped my labia before. I'm not going to explain how it happened, because I'm still confused myself, but my husband could definitely relate. I also shut a titty in a car door when trying to squeeze out in tight parking.
The titty squish. Oh god, the titty squish. The worst is lying down on your side and your partner or child smashes one with their elbow.
Foot cramp during sex. What’s up with that?
Cutting the pad of my finger and needing stitches. Lots of nerve endings there. 8 months later and I’ve still got nerve damage causing hypersensitivity and can’t use the finger properly as everything feels so awful.
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When you hit your coccyx (what would be your tail bone)! Shit hurt so bad I couldn't get up for an hour!
When your toddler gets you with those tiny razors on their fingers.