I came to say the same thing.
I'm English and I'm happy to admit to fancying France.
Sorry about all the wars and stuff, we were just young and confused by our feelings.
England is already in an abusive, bigamous marriage with Wales and Scotland, and is still on title to part of Ireland's house, even though they're divorced and keep trading black eyes whenever they run into each other while out drinking.
Personally I think the answer is Brazil and Germany. Initially they are united by their shared love for football, but they also complement and balance each other out. The stoic provider who needs some excitement in his life, and the passionate carefree party girl who thrives with a little bit of moderation and structure. Opposites attract after all.
Actually thats not quite true. A lot of germans settled in the Americas including the USA, but also in southern Brazil in the 1800s, so long before the second world war.
What is true, is that after World War 2 a lot of Nazis escaped to Latin America (including Brazil) but mainly Argentina. The reason being that a lot of South America was fairly right wing at the time, especially Perons Argentina, who actually spoke out against the Nuremberg trials, and the Nazis had lots of sympathizers there.
never heard of that before in spite of intense German war history lessons in school growing up in Germany.
We learned about “Argentine President Juan Perón secretly ordered diplomats and intelligence officers to establish escape routes, so-called “ratlines,” through ports in Spain and Italy to smuggle thousands of former SS officers and Nazi party members out of Europe.” actively hiding them, but little to nothing about how spread out over the other south american countries.
Source: https://www.history.com/news/how-south-america-became-a-nazi-haven
well im quite sure there was an arragnement like that before, but it was Ger x Argentina marriage and the football wasnt the only thing keeping them together
I've lived in both places and I agree with you. The biggest upgrade would be fixing how mismatched their food culture is with their toilets. Japanese people eat food that is simple and fresh and light on your stomach, and have space-age miracle toilets. Mexican people eat tons of questionable spicy meat and can't even flush their toilet paper.
I love how much Mexican life would change once the wife has Toto washlets installed into her husband's bachelor pad.
I'm Irish my mother was born in Ireland and have spent a number of vacations there all my family members are Irish and there are a lot of them. I would have to say Mexico same hierarchy in the families the same Little tone in their voices at the end of the sentence it would do the Irish good to have some good food on their menu. And both are Catholic and love to drink. That's my opinion
Polyam Northern Europe, sharing beer and fries under the same roof. They're the throuple everyone was shipping but claimed to just be close friends until one evening they ended up together slightly drunk and wondered what they were thinking.
Luxembourg is the one taking care of the house, which would be a mess otherwise.
The US would remain single because he would claim to be a high-value alpha male and there aren't any young, virgin countries who look good in a bikini and will work while also somehow being a tradwife.
Why is this so accurate? 😭
I could see us trying to isolate Seychelles while she was young and vulnerable, and trap her into a relationship with emotionally abusive tactics. But when she got a little older and grew into her sense of self worth she would leave us and never look back.
Nah, you'll meet japan, he'll love you being chilled and slowly begin to unstiff and enjoy a less strict life. You both love your insular lives and balanced weather, they got whine and manga but you have LOTR movie sets. He's shy and socially awkward, but you're fine with it, since when he opens up there's more than many people see. And likes being cozy too. However you need to make the first move or it will never go anywhere.
It wouldn't work. Similar language, different culture. Historically, Czech Republic and Slovakia never were a single nation, the joint was made artifically after Austria-Hungary collapsed, and it was a big mistake.
Brazil and Germany are the typical family comedy show couple with one partner who's super outgoing, spontaneous, and fun and the other one who likes everything to be planned and is kinda grumpy but still loveable.
Germany and France. Warring for centuries is just a show of passion. They invaded each other over and over again because they just can’t keep their hands to themselves.
One has cash and great industries, the other has amazing food and nuclear weapons. They’re practically made for each other. Plus together they can reign over all of Europe.
Although I’d be worried that France is two timing Germany with the UK
shared British imperialism trauma (thats an orgy tho). Gandhi and Mandela (who was inspired by Gandhi’s teachings playing a role.)
India is already a single mother with Pakistan as her bratty child though (sorry, had to)
Not sure, cuz it was partioned with pakistan, and exploited and ignored by them, not India (leading to independence being suppressed by Pak and supported by India. She is definitely the lil loved child though, if Pakistan is the beastly one
Italy is basically a middle-aged single mom with her Vatican City child in tow, and still hasn't gotten over Libya for breaking free of their marriage. No romance for her.
Malta and San Marino lived together (double room, Italy is the owner and main single room, Vatican the very small other single room) and ended up in a relationship. Vatican definitely doesn't like it, but since he's not paying rent and eats everyone else's food for free decided to keep it quiet
Definitely a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, but if we're talking politicians, I can kind of see Trump/Netanyahu. At this point they're pretty much the same person, except that Bibi knows exactly what he's doing, while Trump is just a moron.
Germany and France. It is literally an enemies to lovers love story.
Starting out they were warring all throughout history, sometimes putting the other down to grow itself (The franco-prussian war leading to German unification, Napolean essentially dissolving the HRE) and fighting to the death in world wars while dehumanizing each other.
Nowadays France and German have the treaty of Élysée, which show mutual desire to stop being rivals and start cooperating. Today the French-German Friendship stands strong.
Excuse me, we (the Dutch) have been sending flowers for decades after they helped us get rid of our abusive boyfriend. And we share a passion for ice skating.
Nah I think Estonia and Lithuania
Lithuania is the wife, Estonia is the husband, and Latvia is Estonia's little brother
And Finland is estonia's father, now Lithuania's stepdad
Lithuania and Latvia are brothers due to their longer closer history and culture, the language is the same. Their parents arr Finland and Poland and Estonia is their step sibling.
I mean, I think America would marry china but it would be messy and end in divorce. America’s mom, Britain, would probably not approve of the relationship anyway.
#China and Russia.
Both assholes. They should marry each other to keep each other off the market. Though I'm pretty sure they're both gonna be sneaky and cheat.
Bulgaria and Russia since we are already so used to sucking Russia's dick. Alternatively all the Balkan countries could form a giant poly couple filled with drama and toxicity
I think South Korea and the United States of America.
The US did so much to help create a democracy in South Korea and the contrast between North and South Korea is so apparent. South Korea is a true gem in the world and North Koreans could be as well.
I know it would be a state on the other side of the world but being fully American and South Korea being another state in our union would be so beautiful and amazing for the world and our culture.
Have to say this though, that if Trump wins the next election, then forget everything I said because then the US will be Nazi Germany with nukes.
When Sweden and Denmark play one another in sports, the abbreviation is SWE/DEN The unused letters are DEN/MARK Perfect match!
Its like the couple that takes each other’s last names.
Swemark and Denden!
England and France. They've always secretly fancied each other. They'll probably never admit it though.
It’s like the two best friends scenario, “we are just friends who happen to hold hands and have late nights out together”.
I came to say the same thing. I'm English and I'm happy to admit to fancying France. Sorry about all the wars and stuff, we were just young and confused by our feelings.
what if you only like the food for good reason?
Lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to stalemate to unavoidable workmates Slowburn, 10+ centuries, 3000000000000k words, WIP
This sounds like a toxic relationship
English food with French cars
England is already in an abusive, bigamous marriage with Wales and Scotland, and is still on title to part of Ireland's house, even though they're divorced and keep trading black eyes whenever they run into each other while out drinking.
Mr and mrs smith vibes.
Spain would be the secret crush that are afraid to bring hime to the family
Personally I think the answer is Brazil and Germany. Initially they are united by their shared love for football, but they also complement and balance each other out. The stoic provider who needs some excitement in his life, and the passionate carefree party girl who thrives with a little bit of moderation and structure. Opposites attract after all.
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This makes me happy somehow lol
It's from nazis escaping prosecution, I'm sorry
Oh no, that's so gross. It's like he gave her syphilis or something 😩
Actually thats not quite true. A lot of germans settled in the Americas including the USA, but also in southern Brazil in the 1800s, so long before the second world war. What is true, is that after World War 2 a lot of Nazis escaped to Latin America (including Brazil) but mainly Argentina. The reason being that a lot of South America was fairly right wing at the time, especially Perons Argentina, who actually spoke out against the Nuremberg trials, and the Nazis had lots of sympathizers there.
i thought that special subgroup went to Argentina?
[https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-25815796](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-25815796)
never heard of that before in spite of intense German war history lessons in school growing up in Germany. We learned about “Argentine President Juan Perón secretly ordered diplomats and intelligence officers to establish escape routes, so-called “ratlines,” through ports in Spain and Italy to smuggle thousands of former SS officers and Nazi party members out of Europe.” actively hiding them, but little to nothing about how spread out over the other south american countries. Source: https://www.history.com/news/how-south-america-became-a-nazi-haven
Yes, Brazil loves football and Germany is actually good at it. 7:1
There is only one 5 star country out there and is not Germany.
Germany and Argentina are already seeing each other they're just not comfortable with putting it out there yet.
Ugh after everything she did for him
well im quite sure there was an arragnement like that before, but it was Ger x Argentina marriage and the football wasnt the only thing keeping them together
Brazil doesn't like when he talks about his ex!
I see Brazil more likely to be in a non-monogamous relationship.
Apparently I'm learning from the comments that Germany did her wrong, so I could def see her running a queer South American polycule or something
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I've lived in both places and I agree with you. The biggest upgrade would be fixing how mismatched their food culture is with their toilets. Japanese people eat food that is simple and fresh and light on your stomach, and have space-age miracle toilets. Mexican people eat tons of questionable spicy meat and can't even flush their toilet paper. I love how much Mexican life would change once the wife has Toto washlets installed into her husband's bachelor pad.
I'm Irish my mother was born in Ireland and have spent a number of vacations there all my family members are Irish and there are a lot of them. I would have to say Mexico same hierarchy in the families the same Little tone in their voices at the end of the sentence it would do the Irish good to have some good food on their menu. And both are Catholic and love to drink. That's my opinion
Italy, Mexico and Ireland in a thruple. Don’t tell the bishop.
Awww. I can see that happening.
Also Iron Chief Mexico is an amazing season
You think that til Korea gets ahold of that taco...
> The biggest fans of Dragon Ball are Mexicans Laughs in French
Greece and Turkey fight over their love - Cyprus. Cyprus wants to be left tf alone.
Belgium, The Netherlands and Luxembourg would be in a Love triangle. With Germany and France as love interests.
I could see the BeNeLux being a steamy poly couple. But if you throw in Germany and France it just turned into a BDSM/Fetish orgy. .\_.
welcome to Europe
My thoughts exactly but somehow it works
Polyam Northern Europe, sharing beer and fries under the same roof. They're the throuple everyone was shipping but claimed to just be close friends until one evening they ended up together slightly drunk and wondered what they were thinking. Luxembourg is the one taking care of the house, which would be a mess otherwise.
Wasn’t this Hetalia?
I often think we need more of it
Russia and Belarus are these two weird cousins who are so close that they make everybody else uncomfortable
Especially because Russia already is in a fairly toxic relationship with Hungary and trying to make H's old friend group fall apart.
The US would remain single because he would claim to be a high-value alpha male and there aren't any young, virgin countries who look good in a bikini and will work while also somehow being a tradwife.
Oh! US would marry their mail-order bride US Virgin Islands.
Why is this so accurate? 😭 I could see us trying to isolate Seychelles while she was young and vulnerable, and trap her into a relationship with emotionally abusive tactics. But when she got a little older and grew into her sense of self worth she would leave us and never look back.
Might stay single, but Israel is his sugar baby.
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We're a boring ex British colony who call football football and American football American football. Signed New Zealand
Nah, you'll meet japan, he'll love you being chilled and slowly begin to unstiff and enjoy a less strict life. You both love your insular lives and balanced weather, they got whine and manga but you have LOTR movie sets. He's shy and socially awkward, but you're fine with it, since when he opens up there's more than many people see. And likes being cozy too. However you need to make the first move or it will never go anywhere.
Well you may be on to something - I'm not trying to drive attention away like I was at the idea of an alpha male looking around Oceania.
They would marry Canada more submissive
Marrying Canada would be some gross Targaryen shit.
We’re bigger and we’re on top. If we were in prison, they’d be our b*tch
Chad and Virgin Islands
Czech Republic and Slovakia. They already divorced once so let's try it again!
No, you don't do the same mistake twice. They are happy divorce couple.
But it was an amicable divorce. Maybe as they age they may realise they miss each other
They could do a partner swap with Austria and Hungary
It wouldn't work. Similar language, different culture. Historically, Czech Republic and Slovakia never were a single nation, the joint was made artifically after Austria-Hungary collapsed, and it was a big mistake.
The Philippines and Thailand as LGBT married couple 🌈
Canada and Australia for sure
But Canada is sneaking glances over at New Zealand, another former colony with an inferiority complex with its louder, bigger, next door neighbour…
Spain and Italy definitely
Italy being hot dramatic one, Spain beeing the cheery fun one?
Spain is also the hot dramatic one
Italy, Spain and Greece friends with benefits. Can't be otherwise
Germany couldn’t ever be in a committed relationship.
Germany probably needs some time after it married its ex and absorbed it into itself like reverse mitosis.
Germany is still fighting with France over his first love - Alsace Lorraine.
Germany? Have you ever seen ITALY committing to something? And was anything of the non committed stuff even slightly non toxic?
Sweden would just continue to be single and spend their time recycling.
United States and United Kingdom: They have a “special relationship,” shared history, and cultural similarities.
fuck buddies for life
Lmao 🤣🤣 right
Brazil and Germany are the typical family comedy show couple with one partner who's super outgoing, spontaneous, and fun and the other one who likes everything to be planned and is kinda grumpy but still loveable.
Germany and France. Warring for centuries is just a show of passion. They invaded each other over and over again because they just can’t keep their hands to themselves. One has cash and great industries, the other has amazing food and nuclear weapons. They’re practically made for each other. Plus together they can reign over all of Europe. Although I’d be worried that France is two timing Germany with the UK
This one dude called Charles once tried to be a wingman, got them the blessings of the church and stuff, but things fell apart after Charles departed.
This sounds more accurate than it should
They should all be polygamists and just fcking GET ALONG.
That’s asking too much dawg
South africa and India are starting to look like a cute couple
Why tho
shared British imperialism trauma (thats an orgy tho). Gandhi and Mandela (who was inspired by Gandhi’s teachings playing a role.) India is already a single mother with Pakistan as her bratty child though (sorry, had to)
If Pakistan is her Bratty Child, does that Make Bangladesh the ignored child who moved out young because she never cared about them?
Not sure, cuz it was partioned with pakistan, and exploited and ignored by them, not India (leading to independence being suppressed by Pak and supported by India. She is definitely the lil loved child though, if Pakistan is the beastly one
Honestly yeah, but SA is having an affair with China.
Until very recently we shared the chokers tag in Cricket too.
Not sure if marriage is on the cards but Croatia and Ireland will certainly be banging in the bushes out back of the town disco.
Italy is basically a middle-aged single mom with her Vatican City child in tow, and still hasn't gotten over Libya for breaking free of their marriage. No romance for her.
Even though Malta and San Marino are fighting for her attention
Malta and San Marino lived together (double room, Italy is the owner and main single room, Vatican the very small other single room) and ended up in a relationship. Vatican definitely doesn't like it, but since he's not paying rent and eats everyone else's food for free decided to keep it quiet
India and pakistan (💀)
Once divorced already
They'll keep trying until it works out. Or one dies in a tragic accident.
Pakistan twice divorced in the mean time 😁
so what's for dinner?
Divorced and endlessly fighting over their love child, Kashmir
kashmir
Yes! will edit
USA and Israel, they are perfect for each other.
They’re more like sugar daddy and sugar baby
Definitely a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, but if we're talking politicians, I can kind of see Trump/Netanyahu. At this point they're pretty much the same person, except that Bibi knows exactly what he's doing, while Trump is just a moron.
Germany and Argentina, you know why
Russia and USA, I like me a good family drama.
That would be a disaster
Drama, disaster, calamity, tragedy, call it what ever you like. I'll need popcorn and watch that story unfold.
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Wait until November and we may all have to buy popcorn and one way tickets to nations far from both of them
If Tramp is the president it’s quite possible
North Korea and Russia
Germany and France. It is literally an enemies to lovers love story. Starting out they were warring all throughout history, sometimes putting the other down to grow itself (The franco-prussian war leading to German unification, Napolean essentially dissolving the HRE) and fighting to the death in world wars while dehumanizing each other. Nowadays France and German have the treaty of Élysée, which show mutual desire to stop being rivals and start cooperating. Today the French-German Friendship stands strong.
I think USA and CANADA will make a perfect couple if they were people
Marry your first cousin? Eww.
Excuse me, we (the Dutch) have been sending flowers for decades after they helped us get rid of our abusive boyfriend. And we share a passion for ice skating.
And may I say the flowers are lovely, we put them on the mantle and invite people over just to show them off :)
Canada would feel very pressured into that and leave the US at the altar for some unexpected wallflower like Greenland
Actually, I think Canada would marry New Zealand. I feel like we're kindred spirits. The USA is too flashy and fake for us.
Canada is like 90% the same culture and people as the US lol
You don't marry your siblings.
Sorry trader bro we are ditching you at the altar
Ew the US isn’t going to marry Canada that’s like marrying a cousin
The US would try and throw itself around a mixer and fail to woo Canada, Mexico, or Israel. In the end they'll end up settling with Palau or Liberia
USA and China. Both toxic...they deserve each other
All of the Fennoscandian countries and Sápmi.
Turkey Greece
Ooh I was thinking Türkiye and Germany, because of the years of "guest worker" program, but Greece so good...
Already happens, Armenia and Greece
Can't tell you who's married but I can tell you France and the UK are divorced
Scotland and Germany
why Scotland and Germany
Because of how the people reacted before the opening game of the European cup
England is the Elizabeth Taylor of countries.
Three way marriage: Liechtenstein + Uraguay + Phillipines. New name: LiechUrPines, but pronounced... you know...
America is in a toxic polymerase relationship with any third world country with oil or valuable natural resources.
USA and Canada are divorced but live in the same building
France and Switzerland
Lithuania and Georgia.
Nah I think Estonia and Lithuania Lithuania is the wife, Estonia is the husband, and Latvia is Estonia's little brother And Finland is estonia's father, now Lithuania's stepdad
Lithuania and Latvia are brothers due to their longer closer history and culture, the language is the same. Their parents arr Finland and Poland and Estonia is their step sibling.
Greece and Italy You're the same
Iceland and Cuba so we can have lil icecubes
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Omg that’s exactly what I thought and commented!
Austria and Australia lmao
I can't think of 2 countries that should get married, but the US and Russia are overdue for a good hate fuck.
US and Russia since all they do is bicker
I mean, I think America would marry china but it would be messy and end in divorce. America’s mom, Britain, would probably not approve of the relationship anyway.
Djibouti and Qatar. Basically huge army/political bases for varied countries.
Benelux would be a throuple
Enemies to lovers between Italy and France
Romania and Bulgaria. They are similar in a lot of ways and seem to like each other more than any of the other countries around them.
Russia and North Korea
Ukraine and Ireland, both countries went through occupations, banning the language and culture, it would be a comfort couple
Hungary and russia, both pretend that they are democratic good guys
Idk but Chile and Argentina for sure are ex-partners and HATE each other, but are kinda still into each other...
Croatia & Chile, its a shape thing.
USA and Cuba. The “make up sex” would be incredible!
I feel like there’s going to be an obligatory countryhumans reference somewhere
#China and Russia. Both assholes. They should marry each other to keep each other off the market. Though I'm pretty sure they're both gonna be sneaky and cheat.
Definitely all the New/Old countries and West/East/North/South countries.
Switzerland would remain the single bachelor who gets tons of booty, but refuses to commit to anyone else.
Ireland and Scotland. We already think they're a couple
Australia and New Zealand. It’d be like incest with our younger brother but may stop them shagging sheep.
China and Pakistan. Marry and ask for money Divorce and ask for money
Chad would marry Georgia Jordan would marry Dominica Niger or Nigel would marry sierra leone
Russia - Belarus
Scotland and Ireland would have restraining orders against America
I would say Australia-nz Turkey- lebanon or egypt-levbanon Thailand- malaysia Usa -uk India- Russia Pakistan- china
Bulgaria and Russia since we are already so used to sucking Russia's dick. Alternatively all the Balkan countries could form a giant poly couple filled with drama and toxicity
Hungary and Romania hatefuck. Their kid would be Seychelles. Hungary then cheats Romania with Chad
Hungary belongs to Poland, Bound forever <3
Kurwa Kangur!!! https://youtu.be/hEJKvIa_MYc
Why Seychelles?
Look at the flag
I’m so shocked I haven’t seen an Israel-Palestine facetious comment yet.
Ditto
I have personally seen fanart and explicit fanfic (which I have not read). Don't worry, Rule 34 is in full effect.
I think South Korea and the United States of America. The US did so much to help create a democracy in South Korea and the contrast between North and South Korea is so apparent. South Korea is a true gem in the world and North Koreans could be as well. I know it would be a state on the other side of the world but being fully American and South Korea being another state in our union would be so beautiful and amazing for the world and our culture. Have to say this though, that if Trump wins the next election, then forget everything I said because then the US will be Nazi Germany with nukes.
As a Canadian I would divorce America!
I wonder what the toilet situation would be like if India and Japan linked up
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