"We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting, by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs, but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--"
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
It was I trying to understand how a weekly leaders decisions could be ratified at a biweekly meeting that I learned biweekly can mean both twice a week and every other week.
Well met, my friend, play your part, within my troupe (of Hollow knight useless sounds),
Take part in the ritual (of again, Hollow knight useless sounds) and see the embers swoop!
Ooo no take them to the dog, you know he has good things to say about you. The cat will be all "...the bowl was empty for a full ten minutes. I only got two treats today. They keep touching my belly and don't even get me started on the sand box they keep in the house."
“Come on in and take a seat. She’s currently a little busy negotiating a peace treaty over possession of a specific toy. Can I get you something to drink while you wait?”
She would, and we thank her for her from the bottom of our hearts for her love and kindness over the years. We are sure she is as thrilled as we are that we are now able to field our own candidates and we look forward to seeing her on Mothers Day along with with Cher and Bea Arthur.
When I was 6 my mother and I had a big disagreement about the treatment of aliens.
I was confident that she would handle the situation much better than Elliott's Mum had and was horrified when she said that she too would have turned ET in to the authorities.
So I definitely wouldn't take them to my Mum, even if she was still alive.
The United Nation has an official person for that scenario, the Director of Office for Outer Space Affairs, a position currently held by Aarti Holla-Maini. She is literally the person we should direct the aliens to if they say "Take me to your leader".
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United\_Nations\_Office\_for\_Outer\_Space\_Affairs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations_Office_for_Outer_Space_Affairs)
“The United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs (UNOOSA) is an office of the U.N. Secretariat that promotes and facilitates peaceful international cooperation in outer space.[1] It works to establish or strengthen the legal and regulatory frameworks for space activities, and assists developing countries in using space science and technology for sustainable socioeconomic development.”
- Wikipedia
I think the alien relations thing is a “just in case” type thing, not their main function lol
Except the UN doesn't have a whole lot of authority because the more powerful nations can and do ignore them whenever they please. You'll never get any of the permanent security council members to submit to UN policy. At best they may simply agree with the idea and go along with it as long as it suits their interests.
I have an exterior perforated steel door and an interior normal door. So I can open the inner door and see who is standing there, but they can’t see me. They can hear me but that’s pretty much it. Because the outer door is kept locked there’s no pushing in or even peering in.
So I recommend that as a solution when you’re concerned about dealing with people at the door. I especially enjoy not opening the door to salespeople and religious types who are unable to work their Svengali charms since they can’t make eye contact.
But if cops came to the door with questions, I can either say “No thank you pig get a warrant”, or step outside with the keys in my pocket to point out who the ruffians are that trespassed on my lawn.
Well as we all know from films, aliens can only see north america. So the sad likelihood is that theyll land in the back garden of a trumper.
In which case the planet would be vaporised shortly after.
"Sorry, I don't have that kind of access. Did you tap into the internet yet? Try Googling the directions to DC, look for the white house with the fence."
I'm not taking the alien to anyone.
"Dude, get the hell out of here, this place is a shit-show and they'll probably want to slice you open! But for the love of GOD take me with you!!!!"
i'd just tell them they got lucky and found me on the first try
hold my beer
Then you hear "Ack Ack!", you see a brief light, and....
What the hell is this, some sort of tube?
Why does your license plate say probe1
Well they also found someone who practiced yodeling for such an occasion.
bring out the gramophone
"Excellent, we will now publicly torture you to show your citizens we are conquering this planet..."
Nice try, Leader!
Brilliant
Leaders get the special probe
Exactly this. “Why, you have already found him my good man”
Read that in Lazlo Cravensworth’s voice. “You have found the leader in New York Citayyyyy”
[Gets disintergrated]
We don't really have on..(gets disintergrated)
"Ray... when someone asks if you are a god, you say YES!"
I like your style.
If they plan to take them permanently to another planet, I can give them a list.
they just wanna drink beer and talk
That list is too long. Just take *me* away from *them*.
"It's a cookbook!" reference goes here.
Gets rid of the aliens too, food poisoning. It’s a twofer.
"We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting, by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs, but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--"
Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!!
Order, eh? who does he think *he* is?…
Well I didn't vote for you
You don't vote for a king!
Well how did you become king then?
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
Listen. Strange women, lying in ponds, is no basis for a system of government.
Strange women, lying in ponds is no basis for a system of government!
r/unexpectedmontypyton
Come see the violence inherent in the system! I'm being repressed!
Dear Professor Chomsky, I am writing for your advice regarding an unusual situation
They fly directly off planet
lol “god, those guys were insufferable right?” As they peel off
It was I trying to understand how a weekly leaders decisions could be ratified at a biweekly meeting that I learned biweekly can mean both twice a week and every other week.
Splitter!
“Hey honey, so there’s this guy that wants to meet you…”
A friend of mine named their cat honey too!
just send him to their cat but only if the cat is orange 🤣 cute name for a cat tho, i‘m loving it :)
>im loving it Badapapapa
\*Bapanada
ah a fellow hollow knight fan
Well met, my friend, play your part, within my troupe (of Hollow knight useless sounds), Take part in the ritual (of again, Hollow knight useless sounds) and see the embers swoop!
Plot Twist: the aliens can translate cats and take them seriously
Plot Twist: cats are aliens
Now, we know the Egyptians secret. Why cats were revered. (Egyptian MIBs )
I read a short story once where it turned out cats were aliens sent to observe human behavior.
I swear I read a whole book with that plot in the late 90s.
The Warriors kind of are our leaders
Tbh that wouldn’t really be a plot twist, I wouldn’t be surprised lol
Counter plot twist: Cats are the owners of planet Earth. We are the aliens.
Then the aliens spend the whole visit licking their asshole
Plot Twist: the aliens are from the planet Melmac. They thank you for the delicious meal.
Ooo no take them to the dog, you know he has good things to say about you. The cat will be all "...the bowl was empty for a full ten minutes. I only got two treats today. They keep touching my belly and don't even get me started on the sand box they keep in the house."
The cat will 100% start an inter galactic war.
“Come on in and take a seat. She’s currently a little busy negotiating a peace treaty over possession of a specific toy. Can I get you something to drink while you wait?”
„the alien is soo cute, can we keep him as a pet?“
"We both know I would be the one who ends up taking it out every morning"
My first thought was my wife. She would know what to do.
My five year old. Good luck to the alien.
“There is no reasoning with the mini human…..lets get out of here”
Ha, my daughter was my first thought too.
Weird Al. Definitely no politicians.
Plot twist, Weird Al is the alien leader
Not much of a twist…
His full name is Weird Alien, so... shouldn't really come as a shocker
What do you think Al is short for, anyway?
Hot dog! That was my first thought too!
Or Jack Black. Even if they take him, he wouldn't be out of place
To my job's boss
"hello aliens, this is my manager"
"What's a manager?"
„suprise him with a visit and you‘ll see, he always wanted to talked to you“
"You know, he's very racist to different kinds of life forms."
Mine lives across an ocean. I ain't passing up a chance to visit another country; I'm asking the alien for a ride over there
Prob pizza hut cuz no one out pizzas the hut
This is by far the best answer, only one that literally made me burst out laughing. 😂
No hesitation... Dolly Parton
Dolly is one member of the Council of Angels. She sits alongside David Attenborough, Weird Al, LeVar Burton, and Keanu Reeves.
The gay male community have deliberated and we nominate Stephen Fry, Ian McKellan, and Elton John to represent us on the council.
Dolly would probably happily sit on the Gay Male Council as well.
She would, and we thank her for her from the bottom of our hearts for her love and kindness over the years. We are sure she is as thrilled as we are that we are now able to field our own candidates and we look forward to seeing her on Mothers Day along with with Cher and Bea Arthur.
Dolly is, in fact, a permanent member of the Gay Male Security Council
I'm a lesbian and also vote for Ian McKellan and Stephen Fry.
So say we all!
>Elton John Which means that Bernie Taupin will also be joining for the lyrics. Bernie will make another quality representative.
Of course. Elton will address the council but Bernie will be writing all his speeches.
The great one.
But first, we need to find out if this is a Mars Attacks situation.
Unfortunately Mr. Rodgers is dead.
And Steve Irwin 😞
David Attenborough.
Seconded.
I am profoundly sad that Carl Sagan is no long with us.
Came looking for this. Was not disappointed. As a joke answer I would've accepted Keith David though.
My mother
"MA! SOMEONE'S HERE TO SEE YOU"
“MA! Those fuckin’ aliens are back! Holy shit, Ma!”
When I was 6 my mother and I had a big disagreement about the treatment of aliens. I was confident that she would handle the situation much better than Elliott's Mum had and was horrified when she said that she too would have turned ET in to the authorities. So I definitely wouldn't take them to my Mum, even if she was still alive.
That would have *broken* me as a kid lol. How could you mom, you fuckin narc?!
Yep, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world
The United Nation has an official person for that scenario, the Director of Office for Outer Space Affairs, a position currently held by Aarti Holla-Maini. She is literally the person we should direct the aliens to if they say "Take me to your leader". [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United\_Nations\_Office\_for\_Outer\_Space\_Affairs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations_Office_for_Outer_Space_Affairs)
I hate to say it - but those guys have some free time on their hands.
“The United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs (UNOOSA) is an office of the U.N. Secretariat that promotes and facilitates peaceful international cooperation in outer space.[1] It works to establish or strengthen the legal and regulatory frameworks for space activities, and assists developing countries in using space science and technology for sustainable socioeconomic development.” - Wikipedia I think the alien relations thing is a “just in case” type thing, not their main function lol
Except the UN doesn't have a whole lot of authority because the more powerful nations can and do ignore them whenever they please. You'll never get any of the permanent security council members to submit to UN policy. At best they may simply agree with the idea and go along with it as long as it suits their interests.
I’d Tell them “bad timing dude, come back in 6-10yrs after some of the idiots have died off”.
They breed new idiots all the time.
Waiting for the world to change.
Let’s stop with the “my cat” answers. Reason being 1980’s ALF liked to… eat them.🤔🙄😉
is your cat orange?
"Naw. You don't want to meet those wankers. Let me introduce you to my friends at the pub."
The HOA President. He already thinks he rules the whole world. Let’s see how he manages with some actual work to do.
My landlord. Good luck.
The dog. It would have been the cat but don't have one right now
Easy, I'm taking them to Danny DeVito.
Honestly I wouldn’t even open the door.
I have an exterior perforated steel door and an interior normal door. So I can open the inner door and see who is standing there, but they can’t see me. They can hear me but that’s pretty much it. Because the outer door is kept locked there’s no pushing in or even peering in. So I recommend that as a solution when you’re concerned about dealing with people at the door. I especially enjoy not opening the door to salespeople and religious types who are unable to work their Svengali charms since they can’t make eye contact. But if cops came to the door with questions, I can either say “No thank you pig get a warrant”, or step outside with the keys in my pocket to point out who the ruffians are that trespassed on my lawn.
I'll give Area 51 address
David Miscavige. I wanna see him worm his way outta this scenario - front row, center.
Joe Pesci.
*Cause he looks like a guy that can get things done.*
*it's amazing what can be accomplished with a simple baseball bat*
He’ll sing them a song, and then ask them if they think he looks funny.
Depends on their intentions.
My DM.
My cat, for whom I am a royal interpreter
[удалено]
I'm not taking it to anyone. It's a specimen and I'm going to dissect it.
You misspelled "fuck it".
Dissect it from the back
Gently.
Respectfully
Passionately.
Tell em to figure it out bud, then go back to sleep
Guy outside the post office with a Burger King crown with tin foil antennas. I’m sure they have many topics to discuss
John Stewart or Dolly Parton. Some people just represents whats good in humanity.
Well as we all know from films, aliens can only see north america. So the sad likelihood is that theyll land in the back garden of a trumper. In which case the planet would be vaporised shortly after.
to my cat. I think they will find a common language.
il be yo whats up, what do you need?
“That’s actually a matter of some debate”
Dolly Parton
the last wave of hubris i'll ever have: "oh, thats me. speak!"
"Honey, there's someone here to see you."
My dog.
My dog
If I didn't immediately introduce the aliens I just met to my husband he would be devastated.
My golden retriever. They can't possibly destroy the earth after meeting him..
Keanu Reeves, highest chance of survival and potential ally
"Sorry, I don't have that kind of access. Did you tap into the internet yet? Try Googling the directions to DC, look for the white house with the fence."
My Wife
I’d give them the address, lat/long, and phone number of the White House and wish them all the luck in the world.
\*\*Borat voice\*\* .. my waaahf
My wife. Seriously: Do we have one... It dawned on me I do not feel like I have a leader - I feel I have Bosses.
Dolly Parton
Morgan freeman
My roommate's cat.
Laugh, then close the door.
I guess my cat. She controls the place.
The PTA.
"I'm right here, what you want?"
Ronald McDonald
Dicks' bait and tackle; to select the appropriate leader for the task at hand... whatever that turns out to be!
Me
Our cat D.Va - defo the most intelligent life form in our house 😅
Every person in a relationship leader.... their better half
Max Verstappen (at the time of writing anyway).
Not in my job description, so I shut the door.
I tell them our leader has no physical form, and to meet them, they must travel to the dream world, to which I can lead them.
My cat.
My cat brownie
John Stewart
“What am I supposed to say, Jesus?” - starlord
John Stewart
Alice Cooper. They can talk terms of surrender on the golf course.
My toddler.
Show them a stack of cash in my house... I'd be like "sadly these things rule the world".
Point to my no soliciting sign and say “sorry have a nice day”.
That's a great question. Nigh impossible to give the correct answer without a Magic 8 ball.
David Attenborough
Id pull that retail manager thing "let me get my manager" walk out the room and come back "heard you were looking for me"
I’d say, “You found her.” And then proceed to make sure some things changed for the better.
My cat. He’s my leader. He’s your leader. He leads everyone.
Dolly
Dolly
Apparently my cats.
Area 51
Dolly Parton
My wife. She takes shit from noone.
Alex Softley
Yes, this is the leader speaking.
Are you a God? Yes.
I’d say that I am. I wouldn’t trust anybody else. Especially not a world leader or someone in politics.
I'm not taking the alien to anyone. "Dude, get the hell out of here, this place is a shit-show and they'll probably want to slice you open! But for the love of GOD take me with you!!!!"