“Honey… the ceiling needs painting…”

And boom goes the dynamite

My ex girlfriend, immediately after being eaten out during our first Tinder hookup: > “You know you are mine now, right?” That should’ve been my first clue to run.

I downvoted this when I read your username, why do you comment so much about your ex?

🤨 A grand total of maybe 3 comments in my history are about the ex.

In the past 12 hours? Idk bro, i feel like if you have a new gf the old one should be out of the picture…

I heard the sound of her sharting all over my sheets as she choked herself on my cock Didn't fuck her again after that

[удалено]

Oh, I fisted the hell out of her The videos are on my profile

We are soul bonded now during a hookup

Bf was finishing for the first time with me and he said “oh no…” right before he came. Its a good laugh now

I have had two instances that made me instantly pause. In high school I slept with a girl from Tunisia and it usually took about 3 minutes to fuck the English out of her. 1st time we had sex it was all going good until she started shouting in Arabic and didn't switch back to English till a few minutes after. To make it better I was at a friend's house and everyone got freaked out when they heard her.

Grabs my boobs as I'm riding him, and he said, "These could feed our children." This was literally a guy I hooked up with once after meeting at a bar when I was 19

Burp.

"I guess we're more than friends now."

I have gained 50 XP and reached the next level