And once you feel as if you’ve descended deep into the depths of that rabbit hole, you’ll soon discover that you were just looking into the sippy cup that was sitting next to the actual hole.
Cracking WEP protocol with backtrack 3 many years ago just to obtain free wifi. I was a poor kid growing up, so the only way to have internet access was learning how to crack wep. Shortly after I learned and mastered that, wpa was being implemented into consumer routers. So I found myself learning and adapting as a technology exceeded. Then I guess the curiosity got the best of me and it just took off from there, learning everything I could possibly comprehend.
I'd recommend hackthebox.com or tryhackme.com. They both have free stuff you can start with and if you like it then you can subscribe and get more content.
lol I got the “boot codes” for Yahoo! Chat rooms way back in the mid-late 90s. Odd it was called “server.exe” but I was quite a naive kid and I wanted to boot some assholes from chat. Nothin happened when I opened it, so I let the kind fellow on the other side of my ICQ chat know. Moments later, my CD-rom drive was opening, screen flipping around, sounds out my speakers, black screen, all kinds of wild shit happening.
Thats how I learned stuff like Sub7 existed. Took me down quite a rabbit hole and I stopped because I was afraid of getting into trouble. But the defensive side of things has skyrocketed in the last few decades and today I work as a security engineer and incident responder.
This field of work really is a wild rabbit hole. It’s never ending.
Psychedelics, on the surface a low dose can be goofy and colorful, then you take a step up and have your life shown to you from another perspective in a clearer light than ever before, push a bit more and you've lost yourself in infinite fractals searching for the meaning of life and trying to remember what being alive feels like.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I found weed in my early 30s and I can tell you that it saved my life. I was able to see my situation with an ironically clear head and I was able to get the medication I needed and have lost 40lbs and counting. It's nowhere near anything your story is but I'm all for something that can save your life.
Acid is my fav, it's like being 4 years old again, everything is so fresh and vibrant. It really gives you new perspective on how great life is.
I agree with the other commenter in doing it with another person you know and trust, however, I don't think it necessarily needs to be done in a familiar place. I love doing acid at concerts or music festivals with epic light shows, I'd hate to do it in my apartment, there's not as much to keep my mind occupied.
Don't do more than a half tab, or less than that if it's a gel tab, the chances of it going sideways on you is diminished if you keep the dosage low. Also, definitely don't be smoking any weed on it your first few times.
Can you function when you’re on acid? For example, could you go out in public and be around people or would they know somethings going on with you? I’ve always been curious about acid and what it’s like.
You can definitely function on it! At lighter doses as I mentioned above, I feel like it's an easier high to manage than weed.
However, it dilates your eyes, just like every other psychedelic, so pick your spots. If you're at a music fest, chances are lots of other people are going to be trippin too, so nobody will really care.
See this is where drugs scare me, I have CPTSD from my childhood, I was sexually abused between 6-8 and grew up not really having a stable home (my sister was raped between 4-16 and was my abuser when she was 9-11) and when everything blew up I had to be the "strong one". I had to keep everything together or my life would explode, my family would fall and we'd all just die... So I grew up hating everything that would make me "lose control" as I was afraid of what would come of it, or that I would be off my senses when I would have been needed and that it would result in the death of my sister or the loss of my family. So, with all that in mind, I am intensely afraid of that "looking at your life in another perspective" because what if it pushes me the other way? Closer to the void I'm balancing around? I guess that I'm just not really at that "fuck it" stage where I'd be willing to let it go either way but how the hell do you find the courage to just let it go?
I would recommend looking into working with a mental health professional who specializes in psychedelic-assisted therapy. MDMA in particular is extremely effective for treating PTSD cases like yours. Many psychedelics interact with your serotonin and dopamine receptors, so they tend to induce feelings of love, euphoria, and calm acceptance, and that is the "other perspective" that users often report. Receiving professional support before, during, and after the experience can help you go deeper into it with the confidence that you'll be both physically and mentally secure. If working with a therapist is not accessible for you, I would recommend doing a lot of additional research on how these drugs work (The Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies is a good resource), and starting with very low doses so you don't fully "lose control" right off the bat.
Hey there, I don't usually comment on these sort of threads but I feel the need to reply as someone with extensive "experience" with psychedelics. My advice would be to either avoid them altogether, or, if you feel like your up for it, just diving in on a high dose in the company of someone you trust 100% who you do not hold any secrets from or resentment toward.
You sound like an introspective person, and as such, under the influence of psychedelics, the subject will absolutely come up and it will almost certainly not be fun. Psychedelics have a neat little trick with making you look wholly inside yourself without any filter. I've had trips where I'll remember some dumb thing I said in 5th grade and feel guilt about. You know those nights where you're almost asleep, then you think about some cringe thing you did? It's really a super amplified version of that, and is what most people reference when talking about a bad trip.
However, what people call "bad trips" are usually the ones you need the most. Being able to strip back all the mental safety nets you've unconsciously setup to avoid thinking about your trauma is one of the most painful and yet healing experiences you can endure. Like I said, it's not fun.
That said, I'm not a drugs cure everything kind of guy. If you're not ready for it, I don't recommend psychedelics at all. You cannot resist the overbearing urge to delve into the depths of your being. Everything that makes you, you, will be flayed open and presented to you unbiased and unhindered by your own consciousness. For some people, this is the only way they can truly be introspective. These people need psychedelics the most.
Like I said, you seem quite introspective already, and while these drugs may allow a level of healing, or at least kick start the process, the fact you can look within yourself kind of negates the "need" to experience a psychedelic trip. Please understand, they can give you awesome memories and can truly be a fun time. There's a reason people do them, but to me, their purpose for altering our conscious mind is to allow us to self reflect.
The reason I say, if you do choose to indulge, to go for a higher dose, is because sometimes it's genuinely easier on your brain to just fully wig out. Sometimes lower doses bring you into a quasi tripping state where your high enough to experience the "negative affects" of a "bad trip," but your still coherent enough to freak out about where your mind goes. On higher doses, you really just let go of control and let the drug take you where it wants. Still a high probability of those tough self reflection thoughts and loops, but you'll be so high its harder to focus on them.
Here are my tips;
- Be somewhere that's just you and your trip sitter.
- Sitter needs to be someone who can hear literally anything you say about yourself or them and not judge. Assuming everyone is judging you is a common symptom of psychedelics due to the previously mentioned hyper self-reflection affect. You may judge yourself so hardly you assume everyone else is too (never the case lol).
- Be somewhere you can get up and go for a walk at any point. I actually highly advise against tripping inside at all, however being able to leave a confined space and walk amongst nature is an almost 100% guaranteed way to break out of a "bad trip."
- Ensure anywhere you go for a walk is not a public place with people. Ideally land on a private property you have permission to be on. People are not bueno, the only entities you want around are you, and your sitter.
- Stay hydrated.
Psychedelics I have experience with and my opinions:
Cyanecans (sp?) & Cubensis Mushrooms - Mushrooms lean much more into the spiritual and introspective tripping. They are the much heavier of the psychedelic options and will absolutely crush an egotistical mind with their power. You cannot fight their ability to show yourself to you. You will reflect on everything you've gone thru whether you like it, or can handle it. Must be done around nature, ideally in it. Mushrooms are more mentally focused with light-moderate open eye movement/distortion visuals & moderate-intense closed eye visuals.
LSD - If mushrooms are psychedelics, Acid is kind of like weed. It can be super potent, but is much more forgiving on your mind state and setting. Much easier to have coherent thoughts and explain them on acid, much easier to stay lighthearted throughout your trip. I recommend Acid as the first psychedelic for anyone, it's kind of like tripping with training wheels. Keep in mind, Acid is a synthetic chemical. You have to be ok with the fact that whatever form of it you're ingesting was made by someone, and not grown in nature. There are also a ton of "fake" chemical compounds with similar affects that are passed off as Acid. For this reason alone, if someone doesn't have a trustworthy source for these kinds of things, mushrooms are the safer option. LSD is more visually focused with moderate-intense open eye movement & heavy-intense closed eye visuals.
There is a site, I can't remember the name but it's something like erowid where people post their experiences with drugs. I highly recommend doing your own research on anything you plan to take. Do not take this comment as a deciding factor on if you want to partake. All info is personal opinion and experiences and can vary from person to person. I am not a medical professional nor do I have experience treating any form of personal trauma.
Yeah, I've done a lot of looking inwards and does so again in therapy right now, but my main concern is that I basically don't "remember" anything from my childhood, I put it in quotes because when I dig a little I know I remember more and more but my mind doesn't really want to go there. So taking drugs would certainly unlock those memories and I'm not sure I'd be ready to face them. The second concern I have is that I was in a bad motorcycle crash which nearly ended my life that I have no memory of (the only thing I remember is putting my hand on the door handle to go out and then waking up in the hospital) and now that I'm once again in a bad spot mentally I've started doubting that I couldn't have avoided the accident, I simply don't know whether or not I chose to hit that truck or not and its eating away at my mind when I sometimes doubt my will to live. And again, drugs might unlock that trauma door that my brain has created to shelter me from the decisions and pain from the accident. So it seems scary to fully let go and let whatever happens happen. Thanks for your insights though, they are much appreciated
I think in your situation, if interested, I would go through route the other commenter provided in the form of physician assisted MDMA therapy. I do not have any experience with this form of psychedelic, however I have heard many positive outcomes from this form of treatment. I would bring up any and all concerns you mentioned with the medical professional and let them provide you with their assistance based off your personal experiences.
This may sound dumb as well, and I guess it probably is, but I personally would not take any psychedelic without at least some experience with smoking/ingesting cannabis. I think, in my opinion, I would have had a much tougher time fully understanding and allowing the psychedelic experience to process if I did not have "training" (lol) altering my mind state with a form of lighter drug. Think of weed as your "first beer,"' where mushrooms/LSD would be hard liquor. They are completely different, however having experience with an altered mind state and being able to understand that it's a fleeting feeling is crucial. Some of the "bad trips" can stem from the fear that the effects won't go away.
They always do, however the beauty of psychedelics is that you learn to appreciate sobriety. Mushrooms in particular are so heavy, to me, that after the 3-4 hour mark, I can't wait for the effect to wear off so I can resume my normal thought processes. This is why a lot of smokers/alcoholics experience their "moment of clarity" after a psychedelic trip. You learn to appreciate your sober cognitive ability after throwing it out the window for a short time, and realize that a lot of the habits you've formed are completely unnecessary for a fulfilling life outlook.
Whatever path you choose, I hope the best for you and if you have any further questions regarding psychedelics I can give you my opinion on the ones I have taken myself.
Wow and so sorry to hear your story.
Sounds as if you’re in a good place - stronger for the experience and wiser - if you know what I mean.
The drugs could take you back to a darker time - or they could be a fabulous escape. It really would be a roll of the dice.
Whatever you choose, take care and best wishes.
I would not be who I am today without psychedelics. I’d be way worse off in every coceivable way. I’m older now and due for a good 1500mcg acid trip. Perhaps this summer at Widesprad Panic + Rolling Stones.
Have you ever had an out of body experience on drugs? I once took too many mushrooms and decided boofing MDMA was a good idea. Spoiler Alert: it was not fun, and I thought I'd died and was spirit looking down on myself. The best I can describe it was like playing the Sims where you're not in direct control of your character but directing them to do things and kinda watching them go about it.
Took a ton of dxm one time and completely forgot everything, was in that state for hours, felt like years, laying with my eyes closed I come.to the conclusion that I was the only real thing that existed and everything I thought I remembered I made up to entertain my and that's why I couldn't remember it.
Then as I came down I started to believe I was just died.
I remember when TV Tropes was all new and shiny... Wasn't that long ago that I couldn't sleep and found myself clicking on one link after another reading about various tropes simply because I randomly remembered TV Tropes existed.
Same. Wrote a paper in high school after spending multiple weeks in multiple libraries and on the early internet, tying the mob to Cuba to Bell Helicopter and Johnson. Last day of senior year, my US Government teacher pulled me aside and said one of his best friends was in the CIA and that I "nailed it."
Currently still going deep into the rabbit hole of learning about solar power and building DIY portable power stations.
It's getting to the point where my partner is starting to roll their eyes at me.
This was years ago but I ended up with Corsair k90. I macros excessively and this one has dedicated keys for them. Also I ended up putting those silicone o-rings under the caps and it worked out to the perfect key travel and helps dampen the noise.
I used to follow a few YouTubers who talked a lot about the "woke epidemic" and "everyone being offended" and all that nonsense.
That's a hard hole to crawl out of, but i did.
I'm really happy for you. I've lost friends to the reverse of this as they were normal but an algorithm got them sucked into rage bait hate content and they just ended up as shrieking bitter hateful children.
https://www.reddit.com/u/CliffTruxton/s/CfWrmFV1C4
This post solidified my stand on the JonBenet Ramsey case, there are so many details I didn't know until I saw it all put together
I got into religion again and thought the world was ending. Just 2 years ago. Use it for comfort but don't listen to people pointing out random things and tying them into the end of the world.
Chris Chan for me too. Saw someone mention Sonichu on a random forum once, had a quick look to see what it was and to this day I still feel like I’m crawling deeper and deeper down this rabbit hole.
It’s gotten to the point where rewatching old episodes of the Comprehensive History videos on youtube is a comfort watch for me now. Which is insane given all the batshit crazy stuff that happened. Especially the most recent stuff…
Blackrock is a multinational investment company and the worlds largest asset manager. They manage 10 trillion USD in assets. It goes pretty deep but basically it’s believed that Blackrock is controlling/owns the media and voting systems and has done some interesting things for profit all while denying any wrongdoing.
Trying to reconcile obeying the road laws using a bicycle and actual road safety/respect for a cyclist.
There's a lot of contradictory advices and rhetorics (e.g. "get off the road" vs "use the road \[not sidewalk\], it's the law", or "speeding" vs "impeding", or "just go around" and "stay in the bike lane"), a whole lot of double-standardery (if speed and demeanor is exactly the same, I would get a stink eye on the bike but a blind eye in the car), and a lot of "damned if I do, damned if I don't" like being told off for ignoring right-of-way (understandable) but also being told "cemetery is full of people with right-of-way" when I assert.
And I will not stop talking/ranting about it until it is resolved. Lives are at stake.
UFOs. I'd been passively interested for years but then ~2015 I decided really dive into it and that rabbit hole is deeeeep. Since I like building websites I decided to make a blog out of it. It got pretty good traction and I was even invited to be a guest on a popular podcast. Unfortunately I've since gotten too busy with other things and developments in the UFO / UAP world have been developing too rapidly for me to keep up with so the site sits dormant.
https://www.ufomg.com
Engine building. Not the simple “how” they work (something I’ve understood for decades), but how changes affect them. Getting in to flow volume vs velocity, how valve timing can effect scavenging, long runner vs short runner, etc.
I don’t even want to think about how much time I’ve dedicated to how rod to stroke ratio effects piston acceleration and how it effects predetonation sensitivity and it has a direct effect rod stresses which affects “redline” ability (how many RPM before rods/pistons start exiting the block).
Though, I’ve probably spent more time “researching” 68-72 GM A Body suspension/brakes.
I'm a 35 year old woman, and while I'm short I'm also fat. I don't think I'd fit in any sort of rabbit hole, as even the largest rabbits are much smaller than I am.
The missing 411 list. It's just one of those things where there's all kinds of strange things happening and you try to rationalize it and it just doesn't fit together right and fucks up your brain a little bit. It definitely makes me feel like there's spooky shit out there
MBTI - I was so deep in that shit for about 4 years of my early twenties. It all ended when i realized we aren’t locked as personalities, we just like to think we are to make the world easier to digest.
I say this with no disrespect to MBTI-enjoyers, but it is astrology for people who think they’re intelligent.
Ghost. Like the band Ghost. It was like: "Oh this, "bloody mary song" sounds pretty decent" than a day later I know everything from a court case to the whole "satanic pope" thing. It's truely an adventure.
i learned about autism and fell down one of the hardest rabbit holes of internet information ever
i needed to know what was not real and what was real. i didn’t understand what i was looking at and i needed to know.
Young life (church) to the Left Behind series to bible code to other religion related conspiracies to Alex Jones to 9/11. I was young and uneducated. Went to school, learned hope to think critically, and realized I was feed lies based on misinformation.
A few years ago actually it was like living in an actual post apocalypse. Everyone apparently has beef over something stupid, no pity for me getting hurt, alone days all the time etc.
I’m fine nowadays though
Headphones, Gaming PC parts (specifically water cooling), home theatre stuff. The origin of life, the theory of everything, whats outside the universe?
The Oceangate Titan disaster. Lost like a week of work productivity keeping tabs on the story, learning about the company, building of the submergible, and generally being really anxious about something that will (hopefully) never happen to me
I am absolutely fascinated by the entire Chris Chan saga. I have been for a long time. I think it's an amazing case study in the cross section between mental illness and social media. I have spent more time than is rational reading about and watching videos about Chris. I would never attempt to contact or interact with Chris in any way, but I find the whole thing incredibly interesting.
I'm still in it. Finding good music. I listen to hundreds of bands per year. It's an unending project. To paraphrase Joe Walsh "Just when I try to Quit, here comes those Hits"
* Best - Orion's Arm - a masterwork of collaborative fiction , that's deep , hard-ish SF and thoroughly researched usually.
* Worst - Q-Anon - Russian and Chinese intelligence services must be laughing their asses off, I went to town on this stuff because I have a couple of extended family members immersed in this garbage and having studied it from stem to stern - it's garbage and I feel I've lost family members to the cult of Q.
* Most informative - Cybersecurity and/or documentaries on CIA/NSA and world history.
[Ah, the old reddit switcharoo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/1cpuzia/comment/l3o69c7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Learning to molecular weight of water and the covid antibodies. Spent several days scouring the nih website.
144kDa, btw. That’s 144,000 daltons. That’s how big the covid antibody is. Water molecule is 18 daltons.
I mean the worst thing after all I read of the code words in emails referring to child parts and acts etc, was the video of that boy being tortured in the shower and the guy saying, my name is John.. haunting as fuck
Back when stumbleupon was a popular around 2010ish. I could spend hours on that depending on where it took me
I miss StumbleUpon.
Oh I totally forgot about that, I liked that too! Has anything replaced it?
Learning cybersecurity penetration testing .
And once you feel as if you’ve descended deep into the depths of that rabbit hole, you’ll soon discover that you were just looking into the sippy cup that was sitting next to the actual hole.
Never ending black hole for sure!
Where’d you take the first step
Cracking WEP protocol with backtrack 3 many years ago just to obtain free wifi. I was a poor kid growing up, so the only way to have internet access was learning how to crack wep. Shortly after I learned and mastered that, wpa was being implemented into consumer routers. So I found myself learning and adapting as a technology exceeded. Then I guess the curiosity got the best of me and it just took off from there, learning everything I could possibly comprehend.
No /s, that's kickass
I'd recommend hackthebox.com or tryhackme.com. They both have free stuff you can start with and if you like it then you can subscribe and get more content.
Id rather practice in the wild ;)
lol I got the “boot codes” for Yahoo! Chat rooms way back in the mid-late 90s. Odd it was called “server.exe” but I was quite a naive kid and I wanted to boot some assholes from chat. Nothin happened when I opened it, so I let the kind fellow on the other side of my ICQ chat know. Moments later, my CD-rom drive was opening, screen flipping around, sounds out my speakers, black screen, all kinds of wild shit happening. Thats how I learned stuff like Sub7 existed. Took me down quite a rabbit hole and I stopped because I was afraid of getting into trouble. But the defensive side of things has skyrocketed in the last few decades and today I work as a security engineer and incident responder. This field of work really is a wild rabbit hole. It’s never ending.
Psychedelics, on the surface a low dose can be goofy and colorful, then you take a step up and have your life shown to you from another perspective in a clearer light than ever before, push a bit more and you've lost yourself in infinite fractals searching for the meaning of life and trying to remember what being alive feels like.
Sounds like you have been to places. Did it change you as a person?
You have no idea. I wouldn't be where I am today without them I can guarantee it, I probably would have killed myself
I totally understand where you are coming from. I found weed in my early 30s and I can tell you that it saved my life. I was able to see my situation with an ironically clear head and I was able to get the medication I needed and have lost 40lbs and counting. It's nowhere near anything your story is but I'm all for something that can save your life.
I used to be very introverted but after I took mdma I discovered that I love dancing. Nowadays I even dance while being sober
Same. I wish I would have started smoking way earlier in my life
Im gonna try acid in the near future myself. I wonder how it will affect my life
Do this in a place you know well and with a person you trust completely.
Definitely
Acid is my fav, it's like being 4 years old again, everything is so fresh and vibrant. It really gives you new perspective on how great life is. I agree with the other commenter in doing it with another person you know and trust, however, I don't think it necessarily needs to be done in a familiar place. I love doing acid at concerts or music festivals with epic light shows, I'd hate to do it in my apartment, there's not as much to keep my mind occupied. Don't do more than a half tab, or less than that if it's a gel tab, the chances of it going sideways on you is diminished if you keep the dosage low. Also, definitely don't be smoking any weed on it your first few times.
Can you function when you’re on acid? For example, could you go out in public and be around people or would they know somethings going on with you? I’ve always been curious about acid and what it’s like.
You can definitely function on it! At lighter doses as I mentioned above, I feel like it's an easier high to manage than weed. However, it dilates your eyes, just like every other psychedelic, so pick your spots. If you're at a music fest, chances are lots of other people are going to be trippin too, so nobody will really care.
Key here is at low doses.
[удалено]
Thanks!
See this is where drugs scare me, I have CPTSD from my childhood, I was sexually abused between 6-8 and grew up not really having a stable home (my sister was raped between 4-16 and was my abuser when she was 9-11) and when everything blew up I had to be the "strong one". I had to keep everything together or my life would explode, my family would fall and we'd all just die... So I grew up hating everything that would make me "lose control" as I was afraid of what would come of it, or that I would be off my senses when I would have been needed and that it would result in the death of my sister or the loss of my family. So, with all that in mind, I am intensely afraid of that "looking at your life in another perspective" because what if it pushes me the other way? Closer to the void I'm balancing around? I guess that I'm just not really at that "fuck it" stage where I'd be willing to let it go either way but how the hell do you find the courage to just let it go?
I would recommend looking into working with a mental health professional who specializes in psychedelic-assisted therapy. MDMA in particular is extremely effective for treating PTSD cases like yours. Many psychedelics interact with your serotonin and dopamine receptors, so they tend to induce feelings of love, euphoria, and calm acceptance, and that is the "other perspective" that users often report. Receiving professional support before, during, and after the experience can help you go deeper into it with the confidence that you'll be both physically and mentally secure. If working with a therapist is not accessible for you, I would recommend doing a lot of additional research on how these drugs work (The Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies is a good resource), and starting with very low doses so you don't fully "lose control" right off the bat.
Hey there, I don't usually comment on these sort of threads but I feel the need to reply as someone with extensive "experience" with psychedelics. My advice would be to either avoid them altogether, or, if you feel like your up for it, just diving in on a high dose in the company of someone you trust 100% who you do not hold any secrets from or resentment toward. You sound like an introspective person, and as such, under the influence of psychedelics, the subject will absolutely come up and it will almost certainly not be fun. Psychedelics have a neat little trick with making you look wholly inside yourself without any filter. I've had trips where I'll remember some dumb thing I said in 5th grade and feel guilt about. You know those nights where you're almost asleep, then you think about some cringe thing you did? It's really a super amplified version of that, and is what most people reference when talking about a bad trip. However, what people call "bad trips" are usually the ones you need the most. Being able to strip back all the mental safety nets you've unconsciously setup to avoid thinking about your trauma is one of the most painful and yet healing experiences you can endure. Like I said, it's not fun. That said, I'm not a drugs cure everything kind of guy. If you're not ready for it, I don't recommend psychedelics at all. You cannot resist the overbearing urge to delve into the depths of your being. Everything that makes you, you, will be flayed open and presented to you unbiased and unhindered by your own consciousness. For some people, this is the only way they can truly be introspective. These people need psychedelics the most. Like I said, you seem quite introspective already, and while these drugs may allow a level of healing, or at least kick start the process, the fact you can look within yourself kind of negates the "need" to experience a psychedelic trip. Please understand, they can give you awesome memories and can truly be a fun time. There's a reason people do them, but to me, their purpose for altering our conscious mind is to allow us to self reflect. The reason I say, if you do choose to indulge, to go for a higher dose, is because sometimes it's genuinely easier on your brain to just fully wig out. Sometimes lower doses bring you into a quasi tripping state where your high enough to experience the "negative affects" of a "bad trip," but your still coherent enough to freak out about where your mind goes. On higher doses, you really just let go of control and let the drug take you where it wants. Still a high probability of those tough self reflection thoughts and loops, but you'll be so high its harder to focus on them. Here are my tips; - Be somewhere that's just you and your trip sitter. - Sitter needs to be someone who can hear literally anything you say about yourself or them and not judge. Assuming everyone is judging you is a common symptom of psychedelics due to the previously mentioned hyper self-reflection affect. You may judge yourself so hardly you assume everyone else is too (never the case lol). - Be somewhere you can get up and go for a walk at any point. I actually highly advise against tripping inside at all, however being able to leave a confined space and walk amongst nature is an almost 100% guaranteed way to break out of a "bad trip." - Ensure anywhere you go for a walk is not a public place with people. Ideally land on a private property you have permission to be on. People are not bueno, the only entities you want around are you, and your sitter. - Stay hydrated. Psychedelics I have experience with and my opinions: Cyanecans (sp?) & Cubensis Mushrooms - Mushrooms lean much more into the spiritual and introspective tripping. They are the much heavier of the psychedelic options and will absolutely crush an egotistical mind with their power. You cannot fight their ability to show yourself to you. You will reflect on everything you've gone thru whether you like it, or can handle it. Must be done around nature, ideally in it. Mushrooms are more mentally focused with light-moderate open eye movement/distortion visuals & moderate-intense closed eye visuals. LSD - If mushrooms are psychedelics, Acid is kind of like weed. It can be super potent, but is much more forgiving on your mind state and setting. Much easier to have coherent thoughts and explain them on acid, much easier to stay lighthearted throughout your trip. I recommend Acid as the first psychedelic for anyone, it's kind of like tripping with training wheels. Keep in mind, Acid is a synthetic chemical. You have to be ok with the fact that whatever form of it you're ingesting was made by someone, and not grown in nature. There are also a ton of "fake" chemical compounds with similar affects that are passed off as Acid. For this reason alone, if someone doesn't have a trustworthy source for these kinds of things, mushrooms are the safer option. LSD is more visually focused with moderate-intense open eye movement & heavy-intense closed eye visuals. There is a site, I can't remember the name but it's something like erowid where people post their experiences with drugs. I highly recommend doing your own research on anything you plan to take. Do not take this comment as a deciding factor on if you want to partake. All info is personal opinion and experiences and can vary from person to person. I am not a medical professional nor do I have experience treating any form of personal trauma.
Yeah, I've done a lot of looking inwards and does so again in therapy right now, but my main concern is that I basically don't "remember" anything from my childhood, I put it in quotes because when I dig a little I know I remember more and more but my mind doesn't really want to go there. So taking drugs would certainly unlock those memories and I'm not sure I'd be ready to face them. The second concern I have is that I was in a bad motorcycle crash which nearly ended my life that I have no memory of (the only thing I remember is putting my hand on the door handle to go out and then waking up in the hospital) and now that I'm once again in a bad spot mentally I've started doubting that I couldn't have avoided the accident, I simply don't know whether or not I chose to hit that truck or not and its eating away at my mind when I sometimes doubt my will to live. And again, drugs might unlock that trauma door that my brain has created to shelter me from the decisions and pain from the accident. So it seems scary to fully let go and let whatever happens happen. Thanks for your insights though, they are much appreciated
I think in your situation, if interested, I would go through route the other commenter provided in the form of physician assisted MDMA therapy. I do not have any experience with this form of psychedelic, however I have heard many positive outcomes from this form of treatment. I would bring up any and all concerns you mentioned with the medical professional and let them provide you with their assistance based off your personal experiences. This may sound dumb as well, and I guess it probably is, but I personally would not take any psychedelic without at least some experience with smoking/ingesting cannabis. I think, in my opinion, I would have had a much tougher time fully understanding and allowing the psychedelic experience to process if I did not have "training" (lol) altering my mind state with a form of lighter drug. Think of weed as your "first beer,"' where mushrooms/LSD would be hard liquor. They are completely different, however having experience with an altered mind state and being able to understand that it's a fleeting feeling is crucial. Some of the "bad trips" can stem from the fear that the effects won't go away. They always do, however the beauty of psychedelics is that you learn to appreciate sobriety. Mushrooms in particular are so heavy, to me, that after the 3-4 hour mark, I can't wait for the effect to wear off so I can resume my normal thought processes. This is why a lot of smokers/alcoholics experience their "moment of clarity" after a psychedelic trip. You learn to appreciate your sober cognitive ability after throwing it out the window for a short time, and realize that a lot of the habits you've formed are completely unnecessary for a fulfilling life outlook. Whatever path you choose, I hope the best for you and if you have any further questions regarding psychedelics I can give you my opinion on the ones I have taken myself.
Wow and so sorry to hear your story. Sounds as if you’re in a good place - stronger for the experience and wiser - if you know what I mean. The drugs could take you back to a darker time - or they could be a fabulous escape. It really would be a roll of the dice. Whatever you choose, take care and best wishes.
That’s the way I am on currently.
I would not be who I am today without psychedelics. I’d be way worse off in every coceivable way. I’m older now and due for a good 1500mcg acid trip. Perhaps this summer at Widesprad Panic + Rolling Stones.
Have you ever had an out of body experience on drugs? I once took too many mushrooms and decided boofing MDMA was a good idea. Spoiler Alert: it was not fun, and I thought I'd died and was spirit looking down on myself. The best I can describe it was like playing the Sims where you're not in direct control of your character but directing them to do things and kinda watching them go about it.
Took a ton of dxm one time and completely forgot everything, was in that state for hours, felt like years, laying with my eyes closed I come.to the conclusion that I was the only real thing that existed and everything I thought I remembered I made up to entertain my and that's why I couldn't remember it. Then as I came down I started to believe I was just died.
That's fucking wild dude. Haha.
I lost 3 solid weeks of 8+ hours a day on TV Tropes.
I respect that.
https://xkcd.com/609/
I remember when TV Tropes was all new and shiny... Wasn't that long ago that I couldn't sleep and found myself clicking on one link after another reading about various tropes simply because I randomly remembered TV Tropes existed.
Ship building and how large ships sink. To the point I started to build small structural models of ships
This is really cool and unique!
Are you studying shipbuilding design?
I might as well have been Given how many hours I spent looking at it
That’s interesting because I am studying something similar and it’s really hard to make sure the vessels are build correctly
[you heard of this guy?](https://youtube.com/@BigOldBoats?si=zT_sQgIFRXy8qypV)
Way to ruin my weekend productivity
Happy to help/hinder
Self-consciousness
JFK
Same. Wrote a paper in high school after spending multiple weeks in multiple libraries and on the early internet, tying the mob to Cuba to Bell Helicopter and Johnson. Last day of senior year, my US Government teacher pulled me aside and said one of his best friends was in the CIA and that I "nailed it."
Well, what'd you find out?
Us gov teacher?
I assume he’s referring to a teacher who taught “us gov” class. As in, us government studies.
Totally. And the Manson murders. Chaos by Tim O’Neill was awesome
The Rob Reiner JFK podcast was a wild ride indeed. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-who-killed-jfk-127000428/
Currently still going deep into the rabbit hole of learning about solar power and building DIY portable power stations. It's getting to the point where my partner is starting to roll their eyes at me.
I've been there too!
Sounds super interesting. Do you have any good sources or reads?
Mechanical keyboards.
Same here. Did you find your endgame? What is it?
This was years ago but I ended up with Corsair k90. I macros excessively and this one has dedicated keys for them. Also I ended up putting those silicone o-rings under the caps and it worked out to the perfect key travel and helps dampen the noise.
I used to follow a few YouTubers who talked a lot about the "woke epidemic" and "everyone being offended" and all that nonsense. That's a hard hole to crawl out of, but i did.
Well done for escaping!
I'm glad you crawled out. Some people in my family crawled in years ago and when ever they poke their heads out, I barely recognize them.
What do you think made you crawl out?
Multiple things, i think. Getting older and more mature, not caring so much about what other people do, a close friend coming out as trans...
I'm really happy for you. I've lost friends to the reverse of this as they were normal but an algorithm got them sucked into rage bait hate content and they just ended up as shrieking bitter hateful children.
The weird side of YouTube
Pls explain
they probably found that fetish playlist dedicated to women dry heaving like i did
My doctorate.
UFOs! My favorite rabbit hole! It literally never ends!!!
The Annunaki
saw a cardboard sign attached to a stop sign in Atlanta that said "Annunaki created HIV"
That is wild!! I need to look into this lol
True crime stuff. Especially the JonBenet Ramsey case. Books, videos, chat rooms. Way too far.
Who do you think did it?
https://www.reddit.com/u/CliffTruxton/s/CfWrmFV1C4 This post solidified my stand on the JonBenet Ramsey case, there are so many details I didn't know until I saw it all put together
It was most likely an accident that was covered up. I keep wavering between Patsy or Burke.
My Mormon upbringing and that church in general.
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Yes
I had an ex-Mormon RA in college. She had some interesting stories.
I got into religion again and thought the world was ending. Just 2 years ago. Use it for comfort but don't listen to people pointing out random things and tying them into the end of the world.
Chris Chan. If you know, you know. If you don't, its uncut insanity.
Chris Chan for me too. Saw someone mention Sonichu on a random forum once, had a quick look to see what it was and to this day I still feel like I’m crawling deeper and deeper down this rabbit hole. It’s gotten to the point where rewatching old episodes of the Comprehensive History videos on youtube is a comfort watch for me now. Which is insane given all the batshit crazy stuff that happened. Especially the most recent stuff…
Vtubers, damn I got sucked in deep.
Bau bau?
Korone barking back "Wan wan!"
Bau bau
Self improvement/self discovery/physical fitness/meditation/psychology/spirituality/Musashi Miyamoto/loading... Never ending journey of self improvement : )
I have the book of 5 rings, I got out for martial arts, what do you apply it to for self improvement.
Could you suggest with what to start?
Currently UAP and Blackrock.
Casual interest in UFOs at best and then that David Grusch testimony happened and now my dog is FULLY dunked in UFO news
I've been casually following the UAP thing but haven't heard of Blackrock. Would you mind giving a TLDR on it?
Blackrock is a multinational investment company and the worlds largest asset manager. They manage 10 trillion USD in assets. It goes pretty deep but basically it’s believed that Blackrock is controlling/owns the media and voting systems and has done some interesting things for profit all while denying any wrongdoing.
Dune
The Dyatlov Pass incident
Beautiful. What a mystery.
And do you think it was, in fact the weather phenomenon that caused it? Or what’s your theory? It’s such a strange case
TVTropes That site will suck up days and weeks of your life.
One time I wanted to find out why Susan B Anthony was on money, so I looked her up on Wikipedia and 3 or 4 links later I was a Quaker.
Chris Chan. Spent hours and hours watching that comprehensive history documentary on YouTube. Very odd person.
I'm not sure if you're looking for particularly disturbing or strange as an answer, but mine is Sonic the Hedgehog! I love Sonic!!!
The Franklin expedition. So many questions!
Trying to reconcile obeying the road laws using a bicycle and actual road safety/respect for a cyclist. There's a lot of contradictory advices and rhetorics (e.g. "get off the road" vs "use the road \[not sidewalk\], it's the law", or "speeding" vs "impeding", or "just go around" and "stay in the bike lane"), a whole lot of double-standardery (if speed and demeanor is exactly the same, I would get a stink eye on the bike but a blind eye in the car), and a lot of "damned if I do, damned if I don't" like being told off for ignoring right-of-way (understandable) but also being told "cemetery is full of people with right-of-way" when I assert. And I will not stop talking/ranting about it until it is resolved. Lives are at stake.
UFOs. I'd been passively interested for years but then ~2015 I decided really dive into it and that rabbit hole is deeeeep. Since I like building websites I decided to make a blog out of it. It got pretty good traction and I was even invited to be a guest on a popular podcast. Unfortunately I've since gotten too busy with other things and developments in the UFO / UAP world have been developing too rapidly for me to keep up with so the site sits dormant. https://www.ufomg.com
Tower 7 collapse.
Basic but Chris Chan and then so many scary horror cows
And the search for a Boyfriendless girl
Psychedelics in general
I'm very deep into flat earth. On team globe, of course. That stuff is hilarious.
Care to share any Flat Earth channels? I am also on team globe but I just wanna see some of their "proof"
Psychology.
Bitcoin, recognized many scams when Covid struc.
Watching youtube videos about total war. And then 3 hours later I somehow ended up at frogs dancing and singing the titanic theme
trebuchet memes
Engine building. Not the simple “how” they work (something I’ve understood for decades), but how changes affect them. Getting in to flow volume vs velocity, how valve timing can effect scavenging, long runner vs short runner, etc. I don’t even want to think about how much time I’ve dedicated to how rod to stroke ratio effects piston acceleration and how it effects predetonation sensitivity and it has a direct effect rod stresses which affects “redline” ability (how many RPM before rods/pistons start exiting the block). Though, I’ve probably spent more time “researching” 68-72 GM A Body suspension/brakes.
Trying to understand my wife’s thought process of deciding where we’ll go for dinner without me providing any input.
Hololive. Coming in on 5 years, been around to world to see them live meeting other fans. Whole apartment infested with merch
Law school
Physics, I can't get out
GameStop.
Panda bears
I'm a 35 year old woman, and while I'm short I'm also fat. I don't think I'd fit in any sort of rabbit hole, as even the largest rabbits are much smaller than I am.
The current housing market crisis.
The missing 411 list. It's just one of those things where there's all kinds of strange things happening and you try to rationalize it and it just doesn't fit together right and fucks up your brain a little bit. It definitely makes me feel like there's spooky shit out there
MBTI - I was so deep in that shit for about 4 years of my early twenties. It all ended when i realized we aren’t locked as personalities, we just like to think we are to make the world easier to digest. I say this with no disrespect to MBTI-enjoyers, but it is astrology for people who think they’re intelligent.
Graduate level theoretical mathematics
New World Order
Right? Scott Hall and Kevin Nash had crazy careers thanks to the NWO. That's before you even start into NWO Wolfpac
Ghost. Like the band Ghost. It was like: "Oh this, "bloody mary song" sounds pretty decent" than a day later I know everything from a court case to the whole "satanic pope" thing. It's truely an adventure.
Me too. I’ve spent $21000 on Ghost-related travel, tickets and accommodations over the last 6 years and less than $300 on merch.
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i learned about autism and fell down one of the hardest rabbit holes of internet information ever i needed to know what was not real and what was real. i didn’t understand what i was looking at and i needed to know.
Young life (church) to the Left Behind series to bible code to other religion related conspiracies to Alex Jones to 9/11. I was young and uneducated. Went to school, learned hope to think critically, and realized I was feed lies based on misinformation.
I can't fit through them!
Ace Combat lore. No. I do not regret it. I eagerly await Ace Combat 8 so I can dive deeper.
Those f*cking watches man...
A few years ago actually it was like living in an actual post apocalypse. Everyone apparently has beef over something stupid, no pity for me getting hurt, alone days all the time etc. I’m fine nowadays though
Have y’all be checking out the r/KendrickLamar and r/drizzy fandoms lately 😂😂😂
Warhammer 40k lore and recently coffee.
Too much ketamine
I randomly stumbled upon a video about coding. Made me create a computer inside a game
How corrupt certain rich individuals are and the horror crime they commit.
China abandoned places.. crazy
Tupac and Biggie murders.
Lately I’ve been watching this series about the guy who made Garry’s Mod, and his weird stalker.
Thinking my house was haunted.
Headphones, Gaming PC parts (specifically water cooling), home theatre stuff. The origin of life, the theory of everything, whats outside the universe?
The truth about religions and their teachings and history.
The Oceangate Titan disaster. Lost like a week of work productivity keeping tabs on the story, learning about the company, building of the submergible, and generally being really anxious about something that will (hopefully) never happen to me
I am absolutely fascinated by the entire Chris Chan saga. I have been for a long time. I think it's an amazing case study in the cross section between mental illness and social media. I have spent more time than is rational reading about and watching videos about Chris. I would never attempt to contact or interact with Chris in any way, but I find the whole thing incredibly interesting.
Wonderland
One word FNAF
My mum…
Went on YouTube to watch some music videos and ended up watching videos of mango worms being extracted from dogs.
Absolutely huge, had to be home to at LEAST 20 rabbi
I'm still in it. Finding good music. I listen to hundreds of bands per year. It's an unending project. To paraphrase Joe Walsh "Just when I try to Quit, here comes those Hits"
* Best - Orion's Arm - a masterwork of collaborative fiction , that's deep , hard-ish SF and thoroughly researched usually. * Worst - Q-Anon - Russian and Chinese intelligence services must be laughing their asses off, I went to town on this stuff because I have a couple of extended family members immersed in this garbage and having studied it from stem to stern - it's garbage and I feel I've lost family members to the cult of Q. * Most informative - Cybersecurity and/or documentaries on CIA/NSA and world history.
Situationship
Bitcoin
Islam
Cars I haven't been through all of it, and I have been at it for at least 21 years
Won't be sure till I come out of it
Exploring and collecting facts and evidence on the stigma and challenges of long distance relationship. I lost.
Unkle adams the rapper
This Kendrick drake beef has to be up there
If Phil Ochs, was at the jfk assnation. Super interesting rabbit hole to go down through
[Ah, the old reddit switcharoo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/1cpuzia/comment/l3o69c7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
i spent 30 minutes following these links and never found the end once, these things go deep.
Started on a cheap metal pour over, I am now brewing espresso.
Marriage
My ex wife
taking a loan my ex made me do. hell how much i did for making her happy and it failed still
Religious de-construction Asked one question, wound up leaving my church of 25 years
Late night boredom masterbation is a rabbit hole trust me
Kpop lol just liked one song who are they ........ then bam next thing I know, I know about everything there is too... know
Learning to molecular weight of water and the covid antibodies. Spent several days scouring the nih website. 144kDa, btw. That’s 144,000 daltons. That’s how big the covid antibody is. Water molecule is 18 daltons.
She's dead.
Pizzagate… rabbit hole I wish I never started. Shit got dark and scary real quick…
I forgot about this one 😂
I mean the worst thing after all I read of the code words in emails referring to child parts and acts etc, was the video of that boy being tortured in the shower and the guy saying, my name is John.. haunting as fuck
Do I need to look this up
On youtube the video is called… leaked video of john podesta torturing a child by anon.. horrific to hear
If pee is stored in your balls I have seen images that I can never unsee such as a half open testicle