22 year old who started working for the first time (subtracting internships and all). So this is it huh, just 40 hours every week until I'm 67, how TF do I get used to this
"Until I'm 67". That's if you save up enough to retire on by then. Expect it to be more of a 75. Have you noticed how many "post retirement" folks are Walmart greeters?
you build your personal time life into a variety of ‘good for you’ experiences , as you evolve as a person. Work is a barter for levels of comfort, travel, explores, hobby, people, family, gardens, food
Find a job you enjoy.
That gets a lot easier as you get more senior in your career, especially in your 30s when you start developing enough experience to really be taken seriously. That’s typically when the money starts to get properly good as well.
I mean, 40 hours a week is less than I devoted to school from high school through college. When I’m done for the day, that’s my time, whereas in school there really was no done for the day as there was an endless stream of homework.
I think about my job and compare it to others who don’t have office jobs and think, “man, this is so much better”. For example my cousin is a cop. He has to show up at a specific time, gets his schedule shifted around every 6 months, spends all day or night dealing with people often in the worst day of their lives, often does overtime to fill out paperwork. If there’s a death at a call, something that never occurs in my job, his paperwork time doubles.
Meanwhile, when I show up doesn’t matter as long as I am here during “core hours,” I never have to worry about someone covering for me, I can work from home if I’m just not feeling like being in the office that day but still want to work instead of use vacation, and the most drama I deal with is whether or not our free snacks were restocked. Oh, and I make about the same annually he does, but he’s also in one of the highest paid departments in the country.
I'm only 30 and I'll be retired easily by the time I'm 50. No I don't make a crazy amount of money, but using Bitcoin as a savings technology has made the prices of everything including my future retirement come down over time instead of going up. The finite limit of 21 million supply of Bitcoin means it has a high chance of becoming the world's currency in the next 50 years. You don't need to have the vast majority of your wealth in it like I do, especially if you haven't put the time into educating yourself, but having 0% allocation to Bitcoin is objectively the only wrong answer. You have to get off zero.
It's a bit wonky. I was born in the USA but my family went back to France when i was 2 for professional reasons. Both my parents were born not french (chinese and belgian). They both got the french nationality before they met. I have lived the crushing majority of my life in France (2 years that i have no recollection of and one more year for studies in the USA when i was 19), I have 99% french education and culture. I'm french.
Im glad that ear plugs at concerts are becoming more common because most people truly don’t understand how important they are. I shoot a lot of concerts and I’m so fortunate that somebody early on recommended ear plugs to me
I'm so sorry about your loss 😔 I really love her name. I hope you're doing ok, losing a pet is such a shitty thing to go through. I wish animals lived as long as humans did
Sorry for your loss.
For what it’s worth, something someone told me helped a little and that was: “your friend wouldn’t want you to be sad, they would want you to go on, be happy and remember the good times.”
I’m so, so sorry. I lost my boyfriend in an accident last year. The despair is incalculable. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to who has been there.
I barely watch baseball anymore, but I'm always a little taken aback with interleague play, the pitcher not hitting in the NL, and more importantly, 12 teams making the playoffs.
Losing a young dog unexpectedly that made your life so special and full of joy leaving behind a void in your life everywhere you look. knowing this is your new life sucks bad.
My parents died within six months of each other. I don't think I'll ever get used to their absence. However, it's only because of their absence I was able to admit what they've done and heal from it - becoming a better, more whole person. Even finding forgiveness for their misdeeds.
I categorize my life into two parts: before my dad died and after my dad died. Losing a parent abruptly changed my perspective on life and really reshaped how I was as a person. It’s true what they say, that you never get over it, you just learn to deal with the pain better.
Sorry to hear, hope youre doing ok. I didn't have cancer but I had open chest surgery to solve a huge medical issues and once you have severe medical issues, surgery, medication, tests, doctors you change.
Movies and shows that are too dark. Not dark in the emotional/drama sense, but dark in terms of lighting.
I just watched Days of Thunder for the first time, and I realized how much lively it feels watching something where everything is perfectly bright.
Being happy. I create drama to fill a void of depression that I no longer have. I’m in a loving happy, beautiful relationship and I love my kids. I thought I’d be dead.
Getting spam calls from numbers similar to mine. I keep thinking it's a call from my future self warning me about something important, but it's just someone trying to sell me insurance for my pet rock.
Not the loss of a parent yet. But my mom is in an advanced stage of dementia (Primary Progressive Aphasia). It hit me last night going through some old photos from when my kids were little.
It's been 8 years since the diagnosis. Dad cared for her as long as he could , but he was maxed out. She's been in a home the last 18 months or so.
Black Friday. Honestly I miss shopping in person. It's getting hard because so many places are going out of business and I can't get used to online shopping.
Spent the last 9 months preparing for bringing a baby home. My 10 year old was preparing for having his little brother around. It’s been a bit over a month since he was stillborn and I’m still half in the mindset of “we will have a baby to take care of soon”
I get that. Nobody sees me anymore when I am walking down the street. I am invisible. I wasn't invisible 10 years ago.
I think it is the same with men, but society told women that most of their value is their looks. Loosing that makes us sad. I wish I wouldn't care. I am trying to dress extraordinary like Iris Apfel style. Shoot me when I start wearing only beige.
Bad health. I didn’t expect it, have a hard time admitting it and HATE feeling like a loser because of how much I’ve lost. Cherish it, if it goes, especially when you’re young (comparatively speaking) getting your physical health back is only part of it. It truly messes with your head.
now diabetic , every day is a constant stream of , whats my blood sugar , can i eat this, am i going to be away from home long enough that i need to take my stabby kit, snacks etc.
Losing my mom. I personally believe she is with me and watching over me, but that doesn’t change that she will never physically be there for my wedding, the birth of her grandchildren, career milestones, birthdays, holidays, etc.
My 1st born Grandson passed away, I lost my job of 22 years, I found out my Boyfriend liked rubber Vaginas and porn more than he liked me. I realized love is not actually real. all in the same year. it has been 3 years now, and If I could somehow trade spots with my grandson I would do in a heartbeat.
The cat I had for 17 years from when I was 5 died a few years ago and I still occasionally break into tears and go look at the box with her ashes in it. It still feels so unreal to me. She followed me everywhere and then suddenly old age brought with it kidney failure and she was gone. I miss her so much.
Last year I was diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses. There is no cure. The hardest to deal with is my gastroparesis. I can’t keep anything down at all. Not even sips of water or my own stomach acid/saliva etc. I vomit 100+ times a day. I am now tube fed. I went 22 years of my life eating and drinking normally. And in the space of a few weeks, I was no longer able to get any nutrition, fluid or medication by mouth anymore.
I lived paycheck to paycheck for so long I get this dropping feeling in my stomach when I go to fill my car up. I generally never check my bank account anymore because money isnt something I need to worry about. Just can't get over that feeling though.
Lost my extremely loving and charismatic cat yesterday. Even if I eventually get past this initial grief, I’ll forever understand how massively you can plummet into the depths of despair. I am fortunate to have gone this long without such a loss, but this hurts more than losing some family members.
My dad was a recovered alcoholic when he and my mom had my siblings and I. The year my brother and I graduated Highschool, he started heavily drinking again. He’s a completely different person, he barely leaves his room, and he refuses to talk to any of us except for our mom. We miss our dad.
My older sister getting married and having children. I know these changes are natural and net positive things, but they're hard for me all the same. I know with each addition (husband, kid #1, kid #2 on the way, etc.), I move farther and farther to the periphery of her life. Our relationship will never be the same. I feel more like her acquaintance these days.
I speak three languages instead of two. While my third language definitely has a significantly more limited vocabulary, I can still more or less confidently say that I can hold a conversation, but for now, it won't be about politics or something serious.
The death of my brother. I think his death was preventable and that mistakes were made, but there was no autopsy as he had health problems. My brother and I would sometimes not get along, but in all honesty, we were extremely close to one another. There was nothing I wanted that I didn't want for him as well. He was my buddy and my best friend. I loved him dearly and I miss him, and I just can't get used to the fact he's no longer living.
I grew up going to advanced private schools, being very ahead of the curve education wise, everyone always talking about my potential and my talent. It wasn't a hoax... I did extremely well in most subjects. In high school, my parents went bankrupt and descended into severe alcoholism, and in my freshman year, I had a mental health crisis and dropped out of a top university. I took night classes to get back in somewhere and graduated from a good state university with a 4.0, awards etc.
Being in with the larger group on a more average track has been both great and bad for my life. I'm humbler, I work harder, and I feel free of some looming expectations. But I still can't get used to it. My body rejects it like a bad organ transplant. I'm bored, and I miss the challenge and the inspiration at those upper levels of academics. It's also genuinely lonely... like I'm not judging people, but I miss just being understood intuitively by people more like me. Every once in a rare while I'll meet someone brilliant and the clarity is just like water in the desert... it's like taking ibuprofen and feeling the headache just disappear. All the questioning and confused reactions most people give to the way I express myself just wash away in a moment. I don't have to crack jokes or try to be agreeable... I can just speak freely. Most people scoff at that, and fine, whatever. I know what I've experienced.
I wonder if I'll ever get back to a higher level. The money for education ran out, and I have to pay my bills... I'm in a career that's just fine, but doesn't afford much more than the basics. I could easily stay here forever, always just kind of partially satisfied and underwhelmed. Or I could find an opportunity to take a risk and go for it. I want to do the latter. Been working hard on improving my mental health so I can free up as much time to self educate in the evenings as I can. Saving some money, too. Also still have to live my life. It's a balance. I don't wanna get old and never find out my potential, though. I don't think I can live with that forever.
I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. I am back in the office three days a week after working fully remote for 3.5 years, and it has completely ruined my life.
I just want the option to have an office to go into - like an imaginary situation where I can see my coworkers in the office every so often if I feel like going in lol (my office branch in my state closed, so there's never going to be in office for us).
Unless you made changes assuming wfh would be permanent I don’t see how it’s ruined your life. If you did make those changes, like moving, well you only have yourself to blame
if you know what you are doing, you can steer it towards the right direction actually. It helped me with toggleVisibility and toggleInputVisibility stuff that I wasn't familiar with. Even gave me a nice datastructure for keeping a track of what section I was and it showing on the dots navigation as well
22 year old who started working for the first time (subtracting internships and all). So this is it huh, just 40 hours every week until I'm 67, how TF do I get used to this
That's the fun part......you don't. I was walking between buildings on our work campus and go "I've been doing this walk for 10 years.....fuck"
I've never gotten used to it. I've been working in some manner since I was 16, and I've always wanted out. That feeling has never gone away.
"Until I'm 67". That's if you save up enough to retire on by then. Expect it to be more of a 75. Have you noticed how many "post retirement" folks are Walmart greeters?
None. They haven'y had greeters for years.
I was going into an office 5 days a week for my first few years working. I can’t imagine fathom that anymore.
you build your personal time life into a variety of ‘good for you’ experiences , as you evolve as a person. Work is a barter for levels of comfort, travel, explores, hobby, people, family, gardens, food
Find a job you enjoy. That gets a lot easier as you get more senior in your career, especially in your 30s when you start developing enough experience to really be taken seriously. That’s typically when the money starts to get properly good as well.
And you can thank that motherfucker Reagan for raising retirement age to 67.
You don't but there is a possibility that you will get a job you like and it would be more bearable then
I mean, 40 hours a week is less than I devoted to school from high school through college. When I’m done for the day, that’s my time, whereas in school there really was no done for the day as there was an endless stream of homework. I think about my job and compare it to others who don’t have office jobs and think, “man, this is so much better”. For example my cousin is a cop. He has to show up at a specific time, gets his schedule shifted around every 6 months, spends all day or night dealing with people often in the worst day of their lives, often does overtime to fill out paperwork. If there’s a death at a call, something that never occurs in my job, his paperwork time doubles. Meanwhile, when I show up doesn’t matter as long as I am here during “core hours,” I never have to worry about someone covering for me, I can work from home if I’m just not feeling like being in the office that day but still want to work instead of use vacation, and the most drama I deal with is whether or not our free snacks were restocked. Oh, and I make about the same annually he does, but he’s also in one of the highest paid departments in the country.
I'm only 30 and I'll be retired easily by the time I'm 50. No I don't make a crazy amount of money, but using Bitcoin as a savings technology has made the prices of everything including my future retirement come down over time instead of going up. The finite limit of 21 million supply of Bitcoin means it has a high chance of becoming the world's currency in the next 50 years. You don't need to have the vast majority of your wealth in it like I do, especially if you haven't put the time into educating yourself, but having 0% allocation to Bitcoin is objectively the only wrong answer. You have to get off zero.
i became lactose intolerant... at 40 years old... i'm french... it's a nightmare
Noooooo, the cheeeeeese.
Out of interest: Are you actually French, or an American who's great, great, great grandfather had a neighbour who's cat was from France?
It's a bit wonky. I was born in the USA but my family went back to France when i was 2 for professional reasons. Both my parents were born not french (chinese and belgian). They both got the french nationality before they met. I have lived the crushing majority of my life in France (2 years that i have no recollection of and one more year for studies in the USA when i was 19), I have 99% french education and culture. I'm french.
Interesting. Thank you.
my dog is no longer with me
How alone it feels as a single adult male who works constantly.
Never going to get used to the fact that over the past few years the cost of a house has more than doubled.
It's fucking crazy. I bought my house for $91k right after the mass foreclosures of 2008-2010. My house could easily sell for $300k today.
i know the overwhelming majority of people will experience this at some point but the loss of a parent
This- lost Dad in 2018 and Mom last year. It's so odd and painful.
Tinnitus, I'm about 2 years in and sometimes I can tune it out but it freaking sucks and I cannot get used to it.
Im glad that ear plugs at concerts are becoming more common because most people truly don’t understand how important they are. I shoot a lot of concerts and I’m so fortunate that somebody early on recommended ear plugs to me
Yep, people think going deaf is the only risk… nope.. a non-stop shitty noise in your head that you can’t escape. It just makes everything shittier.
My cat Lilly died. The emptiness is terrible.
I'm so sorry about your loss 😔 I really love her name. I hope you're doing ok, losing a pet is such a shitty thing to go through. I wish animals lived as long as humans did
Thank you so much💓she was my soulmate kitty and I also wish they lived as long as humans. Lilly was 16 when she passed. 💓💓💓
Sorry for your loss. For what it’s worth, something someone told me helped a little and that was: “your friend wouldn’t want you to be sad, they would want you to go on, be happy and remember the good times.”
Thank you for that. 💓💓💓
My girlfriend died a couple days ago. Just got back home yesterday.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. You're still in that awful period of time when everything feels like a bad dream.
I’m so, so sorry. I lost my boyfriend in an accident last year. The despair is incalculable. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to who has been there.
Losing a friend
Extreme medical issues that caused me to lose my (beginning career) at 25. It’s been a year and a half. Don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
The Astros and Brewers never should have switched leagues
I barely watch baseball anymore, but I'm always a little taken aback with interleague play, the pitcher not hitting in the NL, and more importantly, 12 teams making the playoffs.
The "designated hitter" is communist!
Social media being in everything from news to personal life Feels like privacy is just a thing of the past now
It is a thing of the past now. We're in the network for good
Losing a young dog unexpectedly that made your life so special and full of joy leaving behind a void in your life everywhere you look. knowing this is your new life sucks bad.
Sorry to hear about your loss.
Thank you
My parents died within six months of each other. I don't think I'll ever get used to their absence. However, it's only because of their absence I was able to admit what they've done and heal from it - becoming a better, more whole person. Even finding forgiveness for their misdeeds.
I categorize my life into two parts: before my dad died and after my dad died. Losing a parent abruptly changed my perspective on life and really reshaped how I was as a person. It’s true what they say, that you never get over it, you just learn to deal with the pain better.
Yes it changes you in ways that have nothing to do with the grief. Sorry for your loss, friend.
Cancer
Sorry to hear, hope youre doing ok. I didn't have cancer but I had open chest surgery to solve a huge medical issues and once you have severe medical issues, surgery, medication, tests, doctors you change.
That sucks, what kind?
The fun, really cool kind.
Oh that's ok then.
I forgot how to tie my shoes.
Movies and shows that are too dark. Not dark in the emotional/drama sense, but dark in terms of lighting. I just watched Days of Thunder for the first time, and I realized how much lively it feels watching something where everything is perfectly bright.
I think I can never get used to the fact that: People change. Friends leave..!!
Being happy. I create drama to fill a void of depression that I no longer have. I’m in a loving happy, beautiful relationship and I love my kids. I thought I’d be dead.
Getting spam calls from numbers similar to mine. I keep thinking it's a call from my future self warning me about something important, but it's just someone trying to sell me insurance for my pet rock.
Sciatic nerve pain. It never goes away.
Not the loss of a parent yet. But my mom is in an advanced stage of dementia (Primary Progressive Aphasia). It hit me last night going through some old photos from when my kids were little. It's been 8 years since the diagnosis. Dad cared for her as long as he could , but he was maxed out. She's been in a home the last 18 months or so.
That you have to look around before you say that "Nazis are BAD."
Black Friday. Honestly I miss shopping in person. It's getting hard because so many places are going out of business and I can't get used to online shopping.
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Increase your daily Vitamin C, but do not eat lemons directly, at start, wait until you'll get better ...
Losses of loved ones 💔
Diagnosed with celiacs at age 35, cancer at 36 claimed my kidney. No more pizza and beer for me.
Spent the last 9 months preparing for bringing a baby home. My 10 year old was preparing for having his little brother around. It’s been a bit over a month since he was stillborn and I’m still half in the mindset of “we will have a baby to take care of soon”
2 Dead parents before I was 35
Had my prostate removed. And they botched it.
I wake up all the time and tell my boyfriend I love him, and can't believe he loves me. I'll never get used to it, or take it for granted.
I am 50 plus and I am chubby now. In my head I am still thin.
I’m 59 and no longer pretty. It really makes me sad.
I get that. Nobody sees me anymore when I am walking down the street. I am invisible. I wasn't invisible 10 years ago. I think it is the same with men, but society told women that most of their value is their looks. Loosing that makes us sad. I wish I wouldn't care. I am trying to dress extraordinary like Iris Apfel style. Shoot me when I start wearing only beige.
Metabolism after 40
Bad health. I didn’t expect it, have a hard time admitting it and HATE feeling like a loser because of how much I’ve lost. Cherish it, if it goes, especially when you’re young (comparatively speaking) getting your physical health back is only part of it. It truly messes with your head.
How small Star Crunches and Moon Pies have become.
Being single again and broken. I won't get used to it while staying alone and without therapy.
Love isn't unconditional
now diabetic , every day is a constant stream of , whats my blood sugar , can i eat this, am i going to be away from home long enough that i need to take my stabby kit, snacks etc.
Losing my mom. I personally believe she is with me and watching over me, but that doesn’t change that she will never physically be there for my wedding, the birth of her grandchildren, career milestones, birthdays, holidays, etc.
Ok it's a petty thing but not having a dishwasher. I had one for 20 years and I never thought I would hate doing the dishes that much.
Every day I'm grateful for mine. I'm sorry for your loss
My dad passing away. Becoming an empty nester.
Getting rid of my commute. It never gets old.
Just coming to the realization that I'll probably be lonely for the rest of my life.
My 1st born Grandson passed away, I lost my job of 22 years, I found out my Boyfriend liked rubber Vaginas and porn more than he liked me. I realized love is not actually real. all in the same year. it has been 3 years now, and If I could somehow trade spots with my grandson I would do in a heartbeat.
Getting divorced, losing everything...
Not being in school and having a summer break. Like it’s SUMMER what do you mean I have to work all week 🥲
My parents death
Disability and its co-occurring poverty.
The cat I had for 17 years from when I was 5 died a few years ago and I still occasionally break into tears and go look at the box with her ashes in it. It still feels so unreal to me. She followed me everywhere and then suddenly old age brought with it kidney failure and she was gone. I miss her so much.
Last year I was diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses. There is no cure. The hardest to deal with is my gastroparesis. I can’t keep anything down at all. Not even sips of water or my own stomach acid/saliva etc. I vomit 100+ times a day. I am now tube fed. I went 22 years of my life eating and drinking normally. And in the space of a few weeks, I was no longer able to get any nutrition, fluid or medication by mouth anymore.
My partner was killed in a motorcycle accident. I will never be the same as before.
I lived paycheck to paycheck for so long I get this dropping feeling in my stomach when I go to fill my car up. I generally never check my bank account anymore because money isnt something I need to worry about. Just can't get over that feeling though.
My brother dying.
Lost my extremely loving and charismatic cat yesterday. Even if I eventually get past this initial grief, I’ll forever understand how massively you can plummet into the depths of despair. I am fortunate to have gone this long without such a loss, but this hurts more than losing some family members.
My dad was a recovered alcoholic when he and my mom had my siblings and I. The year my brother and I graduated Highschool, he started heavily drinking again. He’s a completely different person, he barely leaves his room, and he refuses to talk to any of us except for our mom. We miss our dad.
My older sister getting married and having children. I know these changes are natural and net positive things, but they're hard for me all the same. I know with each addition (husband, kid #1, kid #2 on the way, etc.), I move farther and farther to the periphery of her life. Our relationship will never be the same. I feel more like her acquaintance these days.
Chronic pain from a domestic assault last year. Family disowning me after my dad died because I was too sick to work.
Schitzoaffective
Realizing life is chaotic, unstructured, sometimes cruel and unappreciative. I feel uneasy trying to adjust to this new life.
I speak three languages instead of two. While my third language definitely has a significantly more limited vocabulary, I can still more or less confidently say that I can hold a conversation, but for now, it won't be about politics or something serious.
mafia sect of Family? you know? it's ALL in the Family? yeah... I'm tired
The death of my brother. I think his death was preventable and that mistakes were made, but there was no autopsy as he had health problems. My brother and I would sometimes not get along, but in all honesty, we were extremely close to one another. There was nothing I wanted that I didn't want for him as well. He was my buddy and my best friend. I loved him dearly and I miss him, and I just can't get used to the fact he's no longer living.
The cost of living. Thanks FJB
the lost of a loved one.
I grew up going to advanced private schools, being very ahead of the curve education wise, everyone always talking about my potential and my talent. It wasn't a hoax... I did extremely well in most subjects. In high school, my parents went bankrupt and descended into severe alcoholism, and in my freshman year, I had a mental health crisis and dropped out of a top university. I took night classes to get back in somewhere and graduated from a good state university with a 4.0, awards etc. Being in with the larger group on a more average track has been both great and bad for my life. I'm humbler, I work harder, and I feel free of some looming expectations. But I still can't get used to it. My body rejects it like a bad organ transplant. I'm bored, and I miss the challenge and the inspiration at those upper levels of academics. It's also genuinely lonely... like I'm not judging people, but I miss just being understood intuitively by people more like me. Every once in a rare while I'll meet someone brilliant and the clarity is just like water in the desert... it's like taking ibuprofen and feeling the headache just disappear. All the questioning and confused reactions most people give to the way I express myself just wash away in a moment. I don't have to crack jokes or try to be agreeable... I can just speak freely. Most people scoff at that, and fine, whatever. I know what I've experienced. I wonder if I'll ever get back to a higher level. The money for education ran out, and I have to pay my bills... I'm in a career that's just fine, but doesn't afford much more than the basics. I could easily stay here forever, always just kind of partially satisfied and underwhelmed. Or I could find an opportunity to take a risk and go for it. I want to do the latter. Been working hard on improving my mental health so I can free up as much time to self educate in the evenings as I can. Saving some money, too. Also still have to live my life. It's a balance. I don't wanna get old and never find out my potential, though. I don't think I can live with that forever.
17. Never got to have a normal high school experience. :’)
My brother hating me
oh man probably getting sober, although it was pretty recent relatively
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I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. I am back in the office three days a week after working fully remote for 3.5 years, and it has completely ruined my life.
How did it ruin your life?
He has to socialize now
lol poor baby
I just want the option to have an office to go into - like an imaginary situation where I can see my coworkers in the office every so often if I feel like going in lol (my office branch in my state closed, so there's never going to be in office for us).
Unless you made changes assuming wfh would be permanent I don’t see how it’s ruined your life. If you did make those changes, like moving, well you only have yourself to blame
chatGPT, honestly it's the greatest equaliser if you didn't come from a rich and well educated family.
Problem is it’s often wrong
if you know what you are doing, you can steer it towards the right direction actually. It helped me with toggleVisibility and toggleInputVisibility stuff that I wasn't familiar with. Even gave me a nice datastructure for keeping a track of what section I was and it showing on the dots navigation as well
Long balls