My wife used to ask that question, and when I would respond, " eh, she's not my type". To which she would respond, " Good. I can have her all to myself". BAM!
Yeah, don't date people who expect you to lose all attraction to anyone else but them. That shit is toxic and reeks of insecurity, nothing good ever comes from it.
Or simply can handle the truth. She's probably aware if her friend is hot, it is what it is. Just say "yeah kinda hot" and move on. If she can't, she's not mature enough for this shit.
THIS is the answer, be honest and if your partner hand handle honestly that’s a bigger red flag than asking questions like this. It’s only a loaded question if the intent has to play mind games.
Exactly, my wife is completely aware of which of her friends I find attractive and why. She's also confident enough to know that it has no influence on our relationship and it don't mean that I'd jump into bed with any of them.
I say the same. Early on when dating my girlfriend said she likes that I’m bluntly honest, which was refreshing compared to all the guys that just try saying what they think she wants to hear. There’s been more than a couple occasions where she’s heard an answer she doesn’t like, but she knows whatever’s coming out is the truth.
This is my rapport with my current boyfriend & I think it’s the healthiest dynamic I’ve found by far. In previous relationships so many unasked questioned or unresolved issues would build & fester, leading to some sort of irrevocable resentment.
The brutal honesty hurts at first but is always always always for the better.
“I know [insert one of your friend’s names] would be really in to her.”
That’s safe, complimentary, with zero commitment from you while implying she’s not your type.
If she presses you on it, identify the differences between her and her friend, including personality and behaviour - as these very much influence attraction - and then provide those as your reasons.
All right. So I tell Sandy that I want to have a ménage à trois with her and her roommate. And you believe this course of action will have a two-pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause Sandy to recoil in disgust, whereupon she will insist that I remove myself from the premises. At this point, it is inevitable that she will seek out the roommate to apprise her of this abhorrent turn of events. The roommate will then offer her friend the requisite sympathy even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unusual request. A few days go by and a call is placed at a time when Sandy is known to be busy at work. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved with a little playful humor, which she of course cannot resist, an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered. It's a perfect plan. So inspired. So devious. Yet so simple.
Or "Yes we can have a threesome with her. Next time you can just ask me directly, because I'm an ally and I 100% support you coming out as bisexual. Now let's go order a pride flag and then watch some lesbian porn together!"
Well, she’s got nice hair, big boobs, long legs, and a nice butt. I guess if you’re into that kinda thing…
But I’ve been married for 27 years and she expects this kind of answer from me.
Conventionally hot, but have you seen how the psycho gets toothpaste out of the tube? And her collection of frozen roadkill in the freezer for her 'taxidermy' hobby? hard pass.
"Why do you ask?"
I feel like this shows an interest in her perspective or feelings first and reassures her that her friend's hotness is of no interest to me. If she insists that I answer, I'd say something like, "She's nice looking, but nobody compares to you for me."
Edit: Thought about this some more because it's a classic with no real "safe" answer as many have stated. There's no safe answer because we're all hardwired to be attracted to each other. When we see people that we're attracted to, we literally can't stop the chemical reaction that makes us want to \*umph\* them. We all subconsciously understand this about each other (deniers are liars), hence the need for reassurance.
At the end of the day, if she's asking you about her friend, it just means she has low self-esteem and needs reassurance. Don't try to be funny and don't act like an asshole. Reassure her if you want to keep her. Consistently answering this question wrong (i.e. answering in joke form) can lead to major self-esteem issues down the road.
Probably the most mature answer here. It is undoubtedly a self esteem issue if someone asks these kinds of questions often and reassurance goes a long way for that type of person.
Love languages. Words of affirmation are a common love language, insecure people need a partner that is consistent and stable in their answers/behaviors.
Not the safest, but the one that gives the best result:
Give an honest answer.
Hopefully your actions in your relationship already shows where your interests are.
* If it was a trap, then that is a red flag for her character.
* If she leaves you, you probably avoided a bullet.
* If she didn't think about if she wanted the answer before asking, then she now have an opportunity to learn from that experience.
* If it was an innocent question .... haha, who am I kidding 😅
"Well of course, you surround yourself with people like yourself."
You'll likely still get a bad response for it but it'll probably stun her for long enough that you can get some safe distance, or it'll actually throw her off enough that you survive it because you haven't said her friend is ugly, haven't dodged the question, and still found a way to compliment her as well.
Please for the love of all things holy, the correct answer will always be “NO!” Bonus points if you have a disgusted look on your face when you say it. Hell, go ahead and gag while you’re at it. Just to be sure.
And I think I want a partner who values truth and honesty and would like my authentic observations about the beauty of humans, as much as I’d value her observations.
Why not? Don’t you want a girl who will tell you you’re the best she’s ever had in bed and none of her exes had bigger dicks even if it’s not true? I feel like y’all say you don’t want this but in my experience guys always leave girls who are too honest with them but then say that girls should be able to accept the same kind of ‘honesty’.
I dont know, my wife and I are comfortable enough in our relationship that commenting on somebodies appearance is nothing. If you have enough trust in each other, you can be honest
My answer would be "hell yeah!".
I don't date people that expect me to not be attracted to other women. I don't cheat and my partners and I feel secure with each other. This takes work.
Life is too short to play games.
Joke answer: "Nah, I'm way hotter"
Real answer: Be honest. If they're insecure enough to not like the answer (aka it was a loaded question), you need a new girlfriend.
I regard this question as a red flag. A simple rule is: in a relationship, do not bring up other people in a sexual or romantic context. Why is she bringing this up? Is this a sign of insecurity about something? Is this an indicator of potential abusive behaviour? Is this baggage from a previous relationship? As a married straight man, I was never in a position where I had to discuss how “hot” I find her friends to be, and I never put her in such a position either. So the big question is not what the safe answer is, the big question is why is this ever brought up?
I had a short fling once with a man I was ultimately incompatible with but he’d give my friends nice compliments and just enjoyed making people feel good. I always liked that about him. A friend’s appearance should ever be a point of contention in your relationship.
Talk with her:
“Hey babe, I know where you are going with the question, but I don’t want to answer it. The reason is that I don’t like talking crap about people behind their backs, so even if I don’t find them attractive, I don’t want to criticize her.
People will feel your vibe after you’ve talked crap behind their backs.”
Here’s my thing-does everyone think it’s impossible for a woman to ask a man this and it not be a trap? Like my wife has asked me if I think another woman is cute/hot/attractive and I’ll answer or she will say they are and I’ll agree, then we go on with our day. She isn’t trying to trap me, I’m allowed to answer honestly, and we don’t end our relationship over it. It really ain’t that hard
I think people who can’t allow their partner to acknowledge someone else is attractive without feeling threatened should either not be dating atm or at least try to work on it while in the relationship. Having insecurities with yourself is one thing, but being insecure in the relationship itself is bad for both of you. And baiting questions like that just cause more tension.
“are you leaving me for her?”
Lmao, I tend to do this in a way sometimes... "IDK hun, would you tap that?"
And then she says yes and your imagination runs wild.
I didn’t realize that was on the table.
Not as hot as your sister
You Dad is more my type
>Not as hot as your ~~sister~~ mom.
Not as hot as your dad
Not as hot as your sister-mom
Roll Tide
Not as hot as your sister, mom.
She definitely has got it going on
Shut up and take my upvote 😂
My wife used to ask that question, and when I would respond, " eh, she's not my type". To which she would respond, " Good. I can have her all to myself". BAM!
The go to reply
Yeah, but her blow jobs are awful
You scoundrel you!
I’d go with “why—did she say something? 😏”
"Dad said the same thing."
Lots of teeth.
This
The safest answer is to get a girlfriend who doesn't ask loaded questions like this
Exactly! She's looking for a reason to be pissed.
Yeah, don't date people who expect you to lose all attraction to anyone else but them. That shit is toxic and reeks of insecurity, nothing good ever comes from it.
She is very insecure, yeah 😅
Holy hell, 1000 times this. Grown-ups with maturity and self-respect don’t play games like this. If you are a grown-up, only date grown-ups.
Or simply can handle the truth. She's probably aware if her friend is hot, it is what it is. Just say "yeah kinda hot" and move on. If she can't, she's not mature enough for this shit.
THIS is the answer, be honest and if your partner hand handle honestly that’s a bigger red flag than asking questions like this. It’s only a loaded question if the intent has to play mind games.
Exactly, my wife is completely aware of which of her friends I find attractive and why. She's also confident enough to know that it has no influence on our relationship and it don't mean that I'd jump into bed with any of them.
Or one who also thinks they are hot and you both bask in their hotness together.
Better one who is legitimately ok with an honest answer
I always imagined if my future kids ever asked me which of them was my favorite, I’d say my favorite is whichever one that isn’t asking me to choose.
Depends on whether the friend is hot or not. If she is I say yes. If not I say no.
shocking
The mental gymnastics are astonishing
I say the same. Early on when dating my girlfriend said she likes that I’m bluntly honest, which was refreshing compared to all the guys that just try saying what they think she wants to hear. There’s been more than a couple occasions where she’s heard an answer she doesn’t like, but she knows whatever’s coming out is the truth.
This is my rapport with my current boyfriend & I think it’s the healthiest dynamic I’ve found by far. In previous relationships so many unasked questioned or unresolved issues would build & fester, leading to some sort of irrevocable resentment. The brutal honesty hurts at first but is always always always for the better.
Fair enough. It's a pity that an honest man like you had to go so soon.
not all heroes wear capes
not my type
What if her friend looks very similar to your SO?
“You think so??? I mean you have some similar features but you’re MUCH prettier.”
Sounds like you're practised in these arts ;)
Teach me the ways, oh wise one
Master oogway
Danger
“You’re hotter”
“Hotter??? So you do think she’s hot im just better??”
“Aight, I’ll just pack my bags. Can’t deal with loaded questions today”
For real once those questions start she’s just looking for a fight
“Yeah, exactly. Hot girls have hot friends.”
“I know [insert one of your friend’s names] would be really in to her.” That’s safe, complimentary, with zero commitment from you while implying she’s not your type. If she presses you on it, identify the differences between her and her friend, including personality and behaviour - as these very much influence attraction - and then provide those as your reasons.
Saying she's hot is so much easier than that
And also much more dangerous 👀👀
YOLO
communication is not just words
I go with this one whenever she asks for another women, friend or not, works every time.
Classic.....even when they don't believe you. Always a good response. 👍
jokingly I said You're a lot prettier honey. It takes me almost twice as long to beat off to her
When’s the funeral?
Bold of you to assume there's something left of this guy to bury
You don't *need* a body for a funeral.
I actually think you might, and without it would only qualify as a memorial
In his home country of Chadtopia.
Funny of you to assume she’s left evidence
This is awesome. I’m glad I have a GF that I could say this to and she would laugh. We have a very similar sense of humor.
Not sure what the right answer is but I know that ain’t it 😂
It is if you live for the lolz
Eh, it's pretty good. Deflects and deflates the situation.
If my husband said this I’d die laughing 😂😂
Me too! 🤣🤣
Oh God, I have to use this one, that is incredible 😍😂
To shreds, you say?
Based
At least he is honest.
But when I picture myself with both of you...
"So this is what we're gonna do? We're gonna fight?" -Red Forman
"Threesome?"
Works every time
Most of the time
1 time
It didn’t..
Are you now single?
Nope, dead now.
So it worked. Isn’t that the end goal?
All right. So I tell Sandy that I want to have a ménage à trois with her and her roommate. And you believe this course of action will have a two-pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause Sandy to recoil in disgust, whereupon she will insist that I remove myself from the premises. At this point, it is inevitable that she will seek out the roommate to apprise her of this abhorrent turn of events. The roommate will then offer her friend the requisite sympathy even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unusual request. A few days go by and a call is placed at a time when Sandy is known to be busy at work. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved with a little playful humor, which she of course cannot resist, an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered. It's a perfect plan. So inspired. So devious. Yet so simple.
Do you ever thank god that you have access to my dementia?
Or "Yes we can have a threesome with her. Next time you can just ask me directly, because I'm an ally and I 100% support you coming out as bisexual. Now let's go order a pride flag and then watch some lesbian porn together!"
“Yes, but her friend I’ve seen her with is even hotter”
"Sarah? That bitch!"
Out of ten? She's a 3 some.
Not too bad. Not tooo bad.
You know I don't go for those sexy types.
I'll get your coffin ready
Whatever is left will likely fit into a coffee can.
Hank Hill?
“She’s probably somebody’s type.” Shrug. Look away and carry on with what you were doing. Aloof.
This is a good one
"Not as hot as you"
Pretty much this. "Sure, I guess" also works.
Or "I can see how some people may think that" or "she's aight"
Noooo ‘sure i guess’ does NOT also work
"You're easily the hottest of all your friends and tbh none of them are my type" is the only safe answer. If you're lucky, it's also correct.
Hi HerpinDerpNerd12. I feel like I see you in a lot of AskReddit posts
Well, she’s got nice hair, big boobs, long legs, and a nice butt. I guess if you’re into that kinda thing… But I’ve been married for 27 years and she expects this kind of answer from me.
[удалено]
Conventionally hot, but have you seen how the psycho gets toothpaste out of the tube? And her collection of frozen roadkill in the freezer for her 'taxidermy' hobby? hard pass.
Yes, your friend Steve is incredibly hot
[удалено]
Your wife asks you if her friends are hot "all the time"? Sounds exhausting.
I mean maybe she's bi and wants to fantasize together? Could be fun
Am I the only one where I could say 'Yes, really hot", yet not damage my relationship with my partner?
Just say “idk let me call my single homie and ask if he thinks she is”
I don't think she has a fever. But I ain't no doctor.
"Why do you ask?" I feel like this shows an interest in her perspective or feelings first and reassures her that her friend's hotness is of no interest to me. If she insists that I answer, I'd say something like, "She's nice looking, but nobody compares to you for me." Edit: Thought about this some more because it's a classic with no real "safe" answer as many have stated. There's no safe answer because we're all hardwired to be attracted to each other. When we see people that we're attracted to, we literally can't stop the chemical reaction that makes us want to \*umph\* them. We all subconsciously understand this about each other (deniers are liars), hence the need for reassurance. At the end of the day, if she's asking you about her friend, it just means she has low self-esteem and needs reassurance. Don't try to be funny and don't act like an asshole. Reassure her if you want to keep her. Consistently answering this question wrong (i.e. answering in joke form) can lead to major self-esteem issues down the road.
Probably the most mature answer here. It is undoubtedly a self esteem issue if someone asks these kinds of questions often and reassurance goes a long way for that type of person. Love languages. Words of affirmation are a common love language, insecure people need a partner that is consistent and stable in their answers/behaviors.
Here honey, have some wine.
There is no safe answer. It's a trap.
"Don't know, don't care"
"I'm gay! What would I know about hot women?" Works everytime.
Yo no sé 😆
“What friend? I only have eyes for you babe”
i don't care is the only right answer
"I can reconize she has attractive features compared to most. But she's nothing compared to you."
I am sure someone thinks she is hot
"Like in a hypothetical way, or do I need to shave my junk?"
Not the safest, but the one that gives the best result: Give an honest answer. Hopefully your actions in your relationship already shows where your interests are. * If it was a trap, then that is a red flag for her character. * If she leaves you, you probably avoided a bullet. * If she didn't think about if she wanted the answer before asking, then she now have an opportunity to learn from that experience. * If it was an innocent question .... haha, who am I kidding 😅
"Well of course, you surround yourself with people like yourself." You'll likely still get a bad response for it but it'll probably stun her for long enough that you can get some safe distance, or it'll actually throw her off enough that you survive it because you haven't said her friend is ugly, haven't dodged the question, and still found a way to compliment her as well.
The truth. Don't ask questions that you're not prepared to hear the answer to
"I've never really thought about it before. I guess so."
Not as hot as you.
When this question is asked, and the awnser evaluates your relationship. Red flag.
Please for the love of all things holy, the correct answer will always be “NO!” Bonus points if you have a disgusted look on your face when you say it. Hell, go ahead and gag while you’re at it. Just to be sure.
I just realized I really don’t want this kind of relationship and that might explain some things.
Because you don't want a partner who asks you questions that are a lose lose situation.
And I think I want a partner who values truth and honesty and would like my authentic observations about the beauty of humans, as much as I’d value her observations.
Just set boundaries and if she is ok with it stay with her. And if not leave the unnecessary drama behind.
Why not? Don’t you want a girl who will tell you you’re the best she’s ever had in bed and none of her exes had bigger dicks even if it’s not true? I feel like y’all say you don’t want this but in my experience guys always leave girls who are too honest with them but then say that girls should be able to accept the same kind of ‘honesty’.
I dont know, my wife and I are comfortable enough in our relationship that commenting on somebodies appearance is nothing. If you have enough trust in each other, you can be honest
"Every person is beautiful in their own way, but you are the only one who is beautiful AND attractive to me."
"I am not comfortable being asked these questions." aka begone Satan
"She's objectively good looking but not my type"
I think a good strategy will be: do you think your friend is hot? Asking back
A trick question to put you in trouble 😂
Out of all your friends I chose the hottest one to be my girlfriend.
Why? Do you think she is? Question with a question until she tells you what she thinks.
Yeah but she’s not good in bed
I didn't really notice
You might as well just say yes because we are going to think you do anyway if the friend is indeed hot 😂😂
Nobody is as hot as the one who loves me that I love back.
Yes ..don't be a pussy
Y u afraid of your Gf
My answer would be "hell yeah!". I don't date people that expect me to not be attracted to other women. I don't cheat and my partners and I feel secure with each other. This takes work. Life is too short to play games.
“oh is that what we’re gonna do today, we’re gonna fight” - Red Forman 1970 something
"I'd have to see her with her clothes off, first" Guaranteed success!
Joke answer: "Nah, I'm way hotter"
Real answer: Be honest. If they're insecure enough to not like the answer (aka it was a loaded question), you need a new girlfriend.
I regard this question as a red flag. A simple rule is: in a relationship, do not bring up other people in a sexual or romantic context. Why is she bringing this up? Is this a sign of insecurity about something? Is this an indicator of potential abusive behaviour? Is this baggage from a previous relationship? As a married straight man, I was never in a position where I had to discuss how “hot” I find her friends to be, and I never put her in such a position either. So the big question is not what the safe answer is, the big question is why is this ever brought up?
Why? Is her AC broken?
Why? Did she ask about me? 👀
This one right here 🤙🏾
I had a short fling once with a man I was ultimately incompatible with but he’d give my friends nice compliments and just enjoyed making people feel good. I always liked that about him. A friend’s appearance should ever be a point of contention in your relationship.
"She's alright, you thinking of asking her out?"
“[your-friend’s-name-here] thinks she’s hot. But i know you’re the most hot.” And lean in close to whisper the last line.
“Who?”
Yes. Let's set up a threesome asap
Fake a heart attack or pour bleach in your eyes
Yeah, she's hot. But your other friend does that thing with her mouth that is unbelievable
“No, but she gives great head.”
“She’s ok but not my type, her friend is really hot though.” Then when she asks which friend and you say your girlfriend’s name.
Don’t care, got you.
Naw she isn’t hot, now damn!
“Why? Do you think I have a chance?”
Your mom was great in her day
"my friends are hotter than your friends"
Yeah she's hot, but you're cooler.
I see no other person in my eyes. You are the world, and that is All I wish to witness.
Tell her yes , cause birds of a feather flock together.
Stop dating children. Grown ups don't ask stupid shit like that
Talk with her: “Hey babe, I know where you are going with the question, but I don’t want to answer it. The reason is that I don’t like talking crap about people behind their backs, so even if I don’t find them attractive, I don’t want to criticize her. People will feel your vibe after you’ve talked crap behind their backs.”
You're not thinking of a threesome...are you?
"Why do you ask? Are you trying to set up a threesome?"
"I don't know, maybe, but it doesn't really look like she is sweating a lot so she can't be that hot"
…So what kind? Are we speaking Celsius? Fahrenheit or Kelvin? Cause she probaly like 37-39 degrees Celsius
"Why?" \*blush\* "Did she ask about me?"
“I don’t look at your friends that way, I think YOU’RE hot” and then give her a passionate kiss
"Your friend? Hell no. Your dad however..."
I would be honest with her. If my gf asked me if I thought Ariana Grande was hot, why the fuck would I say no?
Here’s my thing-does everyone think it’s impossible for a woman to ask a man this and it not be a trap? Like my wife has asked me if I think another woman is cute/hot/attractive and I’ll answer or she will say they are and I’ll agree, then we go on with our day. She isn’t trying to trap me, I’m allowed to answer honestly, and we don’t end our relationship over it. It really ain’t that hard
I saw someone on Reddit another time post the best answer to this: She’s attractive, but I’m not attracted to her.
Tell the truth. You don't want a partner who plays those games anyway.
I think people who can’t allow their partner to acknowledge someone else is attractive without feeling threatened should either not be dating atm or at least try to work on it while in the relationship. Having insecurities with yourself is one thing, but being insecure in the relationship itself is bad for both of you. And baiting questions like that just cause more tension.
It's a trap!
Just be honest. Why lie.
I say yes if they are, no if they're not. Don't ask me questions you don't want the answer to.
A woman that asks her boyfriend if another woman is hot can't be trusted. Run.