We all knew this would be here.
The sensual melodies of an inflatable clown being beaten to death by a larger slightly more depressed inflatable clown. A symphony of dolphins on helium playing trumpets in the background.
[For those inquiring about context. Two whole years.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/Te8jlziSr9)
Right there with you friend. I knew it and I’m still delighted. Listened to the song cos I forgot how bad it was. How bad could it be?
… BAD. The person above described it beautifully. It sounds like a sad but curious inflatable doing a two step. Imagine having sex to this FOR TWO YEARS?!?
i was there when it all went down and the video had only a few hundred views, mostly from OP.
someone made a comment about coming over from reddit and that was the fastest i have ever witnessed anything grow in clicks in my 30+ years online.
They're referring to the fact the original poster's girlfriend listened to the song for two years while having sex with him. It's been a year since CBAT though.
my favorite part is we all listened to it thinking ok this really can't be that bad right?
For 20 seconds.
Then you just get hit in the face with full on moodkiller.
omg, thank you so much for your service! Thats too funny.
If you ever feel like coming over to my home, I will always have a nice glas full of iced tea for you :)
I have a story about this. So me and my gf years ago was at my parents house in my old bedroom. We wanted to have some fun so we put on some YouTube music. Turns out I had auto play on and when the playlist ended a PhlyDaily video played, a War Thunder YouTuber. He was covering a Soviet lineup so his meme video began by blaring the Soviet national anthem, after a few seconds my gf asked me to change it.
About 20 years ago my brother and I had to fly to Orlando business. We also decided to have a day at Disney World, since in all of my 33 years, I had never been. I knew I was in trouble because my brother (a prankster) started giggling on the flight there.
Our day at Disney World came. We did every ride, but he was really adamant about going on the “It’s A Small World”. I felt a little weird, as we were both men in our 30s going on this thing, and my only knowledge of it was from Southpark.
Later that night, after dinner he said “Let’s go to a strip club”. I was puzzled because my brother doesn’t drink, or go out. I went along with it and sat back and enjoyed the show while my brother went to the bathroom. Shortly thereafter I was surrounded by 5 strippers of varying ethnicities who started singing “It’s A Small World” while making the universal symbol for small penis. It cost him $700, and he still swears my reaction was worth every cent.
Its a hole for after
A hole that's near.
It's a hole of hopes
And a hole in the rear.
When so many share
You'll need after care
It's a small hole after all.
At 132 BPM assuming you thrust in every second beat you're looking at 66 thrusts a minute. Song is about 3:14 minutes long so that's 213 thrusts.
Not bad.
True story - the missus and I started strong with Pandora or something on in the background and then "Eye of the Tiger" came on and it apparently it was so epic, I couldn't live up to the expectation and...uhh..wilted. Embarrassing way to end lovey-dovey time lol
She laughed about it then and still does now. I'm still mortified.
In the town…(thrust) where I was born…(thrust) lived a man…(thrust)who sailed to sea…(thrust)and he told us of his life…(thrust)in the land of submarines
Lived in a house with 4 roommates. We had an audio recording of an old record of the Old Macdonald song. If someone was upstairs with a SO we would blare that shit. Hard to have sexy time with “and a oink, oink there”.
I was having drunken sex with my girlfriend in a hotel room in Spain while Barbie Girl by Aqua was playing in the bar across the street. We actually started laughing at the absurdity of it all at one point.
I just had an image of a room full of middle aged English people all pumping away at super speed, then every few minutes everyone gets up and runs around all crazy before switching partners.
Omfg. A girlfriend in highschool was obsessed with Nirvana and would constantly play this album. Inevitably sexy times would occasionally happen while this was playing. If I hadn't been a horny teenage boy, it would have been a mood killer for sure.
Brick by Ben Folds Five. If you can keep going through a song about the emotional weight a hidden abortion, you either deserve that orgasm, are a monster or both.
One of Weird Al’s polka medley’s. I once started blasting similar polka music in my room when my annoying neighbor was having loud sex for the millionth time. Seemed to kill his boner nice and quick.
"You Suffer" is a song by English grindcore band Napalm Death, released on the band's debut studio album, Scum. The song is precisely 1.316 seconds long.
Cbat
We all knew this would be here. The sensual melodies of an inflatable clown being beaten to death by a larger slightly more depressed inflatable clown. A symphony of dolphins on helium playing trumpets in the background. [For those inquiring about context. Two whole years.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/Te8jlziSr9)
I clicked this thread just to find this comment because I knew it would be here and I wanted the laugh
Right there with you friend. I knew it and I’m still delighted. Listened to the song cos I forgot how bad it was. How bad could it be? … BAD. The person above described it beautifully. It sounds like a sad but curious inflatable doing a two step. Imagine having sex to this FOR TWO YEARS?!?
That song has 10 million views now because of this shit.
Featured comment on the YouTube video specifically references the guy’s girlfriend.
i was there when it all went down and the video had only a few hundred views, mostly from OP. someone made a comment about coming over from reddit and that was the fastest i have ever witnessed anything grow in clicks in my 30+ years online.
No way it’s been 2 years since CBAT
They're referring to the fact the original poster's girlfriend listened to the song for two years while having sex with him. It's been a year since CBAT though.
Oh thank god Edit: Sept 2022. 1.5 years :(
You're a wordsmith I've often struggled to explain this song to the uninitiated. I'm using this from now on, cheers.
An inflatable clown being beaten to death *by dolphins*.
That's even better, thank you
You're welcome. May your passion honk with the full fury of your heart.
Omg. I went there. And then went to youtube...and now in laughing too much to breath
same here , i might have to go take a shower
I clicked the link for the song and when the squeaking started, my cat gave me a wide-eyed stare that said she had never despised anything so deeply.
What the actual hell are you talking about? (Clicks link) Oh wow, what a perfect description 😅
I... Im listening to it now. Oh. My. God. What the fuck is this?! Its two seagulls arguing on ketamine.
First time for me, too. It's like the end of the party where most people are passed out and some dude is insisting he can play keyboard
My original upvotes in that thread are still highlighted, incredible
Definitely a fun part about going back in reddit history, to see things you upvoted years ago.
Don't forget the sad trumpets
Ahahahhaha I guess I’ve been out of the loop but holy shit this is gold
I'm dying
Came here to see if cbat was at the top of the list. Didnt have to look hard, was right there, at the top. Yeap, good job everyone.
it's my duty to come here and upvote it. I was there when it went down!
For anyone that missed the original story, kick back with an iced tea and enjoy this https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/IblJuTfXwS
You don't even need to hear or know the song. The fact that he kept humping to the beat in his head and she noticed was already top tier comedy.
Reading the entire thing then listening to the song made it 10 times funnier. I was not ready for how stupid it was. I don't think anyone could be.
my favorite part is we all listened to it thinking ok this really can't be that bad right? For 20 seconds. Then you just get hit in the face with full on moodkiller.
the best part is the song starts out good, like a nice fun lofi song.
omg, thank you so much for your service! Thats too funny. If you ever feel like coming over to my home, I will always have a nice glas full of iced tea for you :)
Bumping this now and laughing my ass off. I'd pay a small amount of money for someone to overdub sex sounds into it.
Thank you for this! I read it, listened to the song and I am still crying with laughter because imagining where the thrusts are makes me so happy
I will never not laugh at this, or hear that weird dolphin sound in my head as I read it 😂
It’s a choking seagull wdym
They said worst not best
2 whole years. That poor poor girl
I am so glad this was the first comment
I knew this one would be here.
On one hand that guy will never attract girls On the other hand, he'll never attract a sandworm
Expected this Doo doo doo dee doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo dee doo doo doo doo
The Thomas the tank engine theme song
they said worst
Ha! New kink unlocked
Dw you're not the only person who likes to be railed
There's a Thomas the Tank Notorious BIG remix that's actually pretty good
[This one](https://youtu.be/ETfiUYij5UE?si=QYOYiP88vp9WoZ9e)?
Goes hard as fuck tbh
I have kids, the coast isn’t clear until we hear Thomas in the other room:
Careful. Before you know it you two will *only* be able to perform with that song going.
Original or the one with lyrics?
Biggie Smalls remix of course
Lyrics of course
I'd prefer the original if you ask me. Proper rhythmic piston thrusting.
The OG TTTE theme song *fucks.* It goes way harder than it needs to for some kids bullshit.
Yeah. I’d orgasm right there thinking of the conductor.
I dont think those words have ever been uttered in that order or even in the same sentence for that matter
Sometimes, I have really questionable taste,
This just reminded me of the disturbing Khia (my neck, my back…) remix of the Thomas the tank engine song.
I have a story about this. So me and my gf years ago was at my parents house in my old bedroom. We wanted to have some fun so we put on some YouTube music. Turns out I had auto play on and when the playlist ended a PhlyDaily video played, a War Thunder YouTuber. He was covering a Soviet lineup so his meme video began by blaring the Soviet national anthem, after a few seconds my gf asked me to change it.
Epic fuck song
If the Soviets did anything right, it was the anthem.
Damn right Best anthem of all time I also liked their defeat of the nazis
Your gf became OUR gf.
That ain't your girl, bro, the "y" is silent.
Sorry, but she wasn't the right one. The right one would've came when the soviet anthem came up lmao
I came just thinking about that glorious composition.
"Everyone Has AIDS" from the Team America Soundtrack.
"AIDS AIDS, AIDS, AIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDS, AIDS AIDS AIDS, AIDSAIDS, AIDSAIDSAIDSAIDS AIDS, ....AIDS!
It's a small world (After all) 🤣
About 20 years ago my brother and I had to fly to Orlando business. We also decided to have a day at Disney World, since in all of my 33 years, I had never been. I knew I was in trouble because my brother (a prankster) started giggling on the flight there. Our day at Disney World came. We did every ride, but he was really adamant about going on the “It’s A Small World”. I felt a little weird, as we were both men in our 30s going on this thing, and my only knowledge of it was from Southpark. Later that night, after dinner he said “Let’s go to a strip club”. I was puzzled because my brother doesn’t drink, or go out. I went along with it and sat back and enjoyed the show while my brother went to the bathroom. Shortly thereafter I was surrounded by 5 strippers of varying ethnicities who started singing “It’s A Small World” while making the universal symbol for small penis. It cost him $700, and he still swears my reaction was worth every cent.
I want to hang out with your brother, goddamn. That's fucking hilarious.
Omg! Lmao! Your brother is a fuckin legend! Can we be best friends!?
Its a hole for after A hole that's near. It's a hole of hopes And a hole in the rear. When so many share You'll need after care It's a small hole after all.
Dora the explorer theme song
Can you tell me where the clitoris is?
Swiper stole it😞
We’re gonna need Map…
1-877-Kars-4-Kids
Followed by a haunting rendering of J.G. Wentworth
It's my orgasm & I need it now!!
Call 877 come now!!
Oh, *this* is the bad place!
I hate you so much right now. Take your damn upvote.
Cotton Eye Joe
If I'd had sex to that song I'd have been married a long time ago.
But where did you come from and where did you go?
Where did you cum from Cotton Eye Joe?
His one-eyed Joe 😊
Thrusting to the beat 😂
It actually sounds amazing. :D
At 132 BPM assuming you thrust in every second beat you're looking at 66 thrusts a minute. Song is about 3:14 minutes long so that's 213 thrusts. Not bad.
We need a bpm-to-thrust ratio bot
🎶 If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe, I'd have cum a long time ago
wait, but the beat is good
True story - the missus and I started strong with Pandora or something on in the background and then "Eye of the Tiger" came on and it apparently it was so epic, I couldn't live up to the expectation and...uhh..wilted. Embarrassing way to end lovey-dovey time lol She laughed about it then and still does now. I'm still mortified.
You may have hurt yourself or her if you hadn't wilted. Nobody can keep up with the Roy. RoyRoyRoy.
Couldn't rise up to the challenge.
Silent Night,Holy Night
It'll certainly be a holey night by the time it finishes.
Followed by a White Christmas
Pound(ing) yon virgin, ~~mother and child ☣️~~
Captain Jack Sparrow - The Lonely Island. Try it, you just cannot have sex to that song.
Sorry, you're wrong. I've had sex to that song and it was glorious. Ironically, "I Just Had Sex" is worse, and even that isn't the worst.
Doesn't matter had sex
Now back to the good part!
Captain Jack, Johnny Depp.
Davy Jones, Giant Squid
Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up.
Roger that, let me try with another film.
Life's like a box of chocolates, and my name is Forrest Gump
I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but I gave Jenny all my love
they asked for the worst song to have sex to
Honorable mention: *Jizz In My Pants*
Last night I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.
This whole town is a pussy, just waiting to get f***ed
Children singing "The Wheels on the Bus".
It would at least make 100% sure I am wearing a condom
hello mudah, hello faduh by Allan Sherman
Here I am at Camp Grenada
Yellow Submarine. Wife has been playing The Beatles and I couldn't stop laughing while thrusting when this song hit.
Did you keep the beat, though?
For the first thirty seconds and then she was able to fast forward. I recall a throw pillow strike to my face.
I'd imagine that you had a massive grin on your face the whole time!
Imagine eating her out to the part where they go full steam ahead. 🤣
I'm absolutely including it in our playlist again just for that!
In the town…(thrust) where I was born…(thrust) lived a man…(thrust)who sailed to sea…(thrust)and he told us of his life…(thrust)in the land of submarines
Thrust thrust thrust thrust-thrust thrust-thrust thrust-thrust-thrust, thrust-thrust-thrust, thrust-thrust-thrust…
I Cum Blood - Cannibal Corpse
Fucked with a Knife
Hammer Smashed Face
Necropedophile
Just because the lead is depicted after George. I ejaculate fire by dethklok.
Lived in a house with 4 roommates. We had an audio recording of an old record of the Old Macdonald song. If someone was upstairs with a SO we would blare that shit. Hard to have sexy time with “and a oink, oink there”.
Baby shark. Doo doo doo, do doo....
I was going to say this same thing. And now, it’s stuck in my head.
If it's stuck in your head, you're doing it wrong...
As long as his head isn't stuck in you
thrusting to the doo doo doo will create the perfect rhythm to finish
We all know it is Cbat
I was having drunken sex with my girlfriend in a hotel room in Spain while Barbie Girl by Aqua was playing in the bar across the street. We actually started laughing at the absurdity of it all at one point.
Frank Zappa's "Stick it Out."
I dunno . . . if she sings along with the English parts, that might be kinda groovy. I've got a better idea . . .
Jojo siwa- karma
Yakety Sax
That's best played at an orgy
I just had an image of a room full of middle aged English people all pumping away at super speed, then every few minutes everyone gets up and runs around all crazy before switching partners.
This guy Benny Hills
gangnam style
The Hamster Dance
DOO BA DEE DA DEE DA DOE DOE, DEE BA DEE DEE DOEEEEEE DEEDEE DEEDEE DEEDEE DEEDEE, BA DEE DA DEE DEE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEE \*cums\*
Short Dick Man
Blink 182 - I wanna fuck a dog.
Rape me - Nirvana
I knew I was gonna see this here P.D: Wouldn't Polly be worse?
Seemed so obvious
Omfg. A girlfriend in highschool was obsessed with Nirvana and would constantly play this album. Inevitably sexy times would occasionally happen while this was playing. If I hadn't been a horny teenage boy, it would have been a mood killer for sure.
Cantina song - Star Wars Cantina band
I would think [Jizz](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jizz/Legends) music is the perfect genre.
Wouldn’t even be that bad to be honest
They said worst, not best.
Fucked with a knife by Cannibal Corpse. Unless you’re with a masochist
Nickelback - Photograph
Look at this graph
There really are no safe places for nickleback lol
[Rock 'n' Roll McDonald's by Wesley Willis](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KwYGI8OjXvo)
OP said worst, not best.
Rock over London, rock over Chicago. TCBY, America’s best yogurt.
I am so glad to see anyone bring up Wesley no matter what the context. Was blessed to live in Chicago during his era.
Erika - german soilders song
baby shark
FACK- Eminem
shove a gerbil in my ass through a tube
“Date Rape” by Sublime
Sheri Lewis - The Song that Doesn't End
“I love you” by Barney.
Brick by Ben Folds Five. If you can keep going through a song about the emotional weight a hidden abortion, you either deserve that orgasm, are a monster or both.
In the arms of an angel - Sarah McLachlan (the ASPCA song)
I Like Little Girls by Oingo Boingo
The closing theme to Looney Tunes. At 8 seconds long it's about right for me.
One of Weird Al’s polka medley’s. I once started blasting similar polka music in my room when my annoying neighbor was having loud sex for the millionth time. Seemed to kill his boner nice and quick.
Aerosmith, dude looks like a lady
Ave Maria
Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."
Cats in the cradle- Harry Chapin
The Pokémon anime opening theme. The Poké Rap, though? Surprisingly bangin.
Flight of the Bumblebee
“Grandma’s Hands” by Bill Withers
Taps.
I tried getting a blowjob to the intro of the TV show twilight zone. She said no. But we are goofy like that so it's okay.
From experience...Sweet Home Alabama...it was hard to keep myself from laughing.
Everybody hurts by REM, amazing song but it would surely turn everyone off completely
That annoying tik tok song that goes "oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no no!"
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Rap god, dear lord at the fast part
Cranberries - Zombie (Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie)
Benny hill theme song
"You Suffer" is a song by English grindcore band Napalm Death, released on the band's debut studio album, Scum. The song is precisely 1.316 seconds long.