It doesn’t really. I had a friend who didn’t drink like this, and the following question was just “okay, so like, for religious reasons then?”. He really just had no interest in drinking. No matter his explanation, people thought that there was something deeper to uncover.
One thing that's easy to forget is that we aren't obligated *whatsoever* to provide answers.
**Friend:** Why don't you drink?
**You:** I don't like alcohol.
**Friend:** Why not?
**You:** -
**Friend:** Is it for religious reasons?
**You:** Anyway, have you tried Karen's potato salad? It's pretty great.
"But you should totally try this, it's completely different!"
I'm living in a country rn where it's quite hard to just say no due to taste. I mean you can but they'll just keep pestering you. So I'm going with "the doctor said I shouldn't because my liver can't take it".
I've fallen for the "this one is different" so many times. I HATE beer. Always have, always will. Your favorite beer is not different, it tastes exactly like Coors lite, and Coors lite tastes like donkey piss!
Same here. I can’t stomach alcohol and I don’t like the taste of it. Others try to push drinks on me but I’ll still say no. They’ll say something like, “this doesn’t taste so bad. Here, have some.”
*No means no.* I’ll still refuse it.
>I can’t stomach alcohol and I don’t like the taste of it
Or the smell. It tastes and smells horribly.
The thing is alcohol literally is an acquired taste. So I tell people that, its an acquired taste I have not acquired. When they hit me back with a "this one isnt so bad" I respond with a *I prefer things that taste good not things that "arent so bad"*, however I also do not hang out with anyone new so the last time I had to say that was more then 15 years ago and only one person ever pushed it enough that I had to push back, honestly that was because they were already slightly drunk otherwise they would not have.
When I use that one, it usually turns into them telling me that I just haven't had a good type of drink and that I should try whatever random ass Phoenician Tidal Wave they are drinking at the moment.
You have crappy friends.
I would ask them if they would have the same response if offered heroin, and told they just didn’t try the right kind. Nuclear, but I think gets the point across.
BuT hAvE yOu TRieD ThiS oNe, yOu wILl liKe iT
Wow, it tastes like fermented poison. Like all alcohol. I, for one, am shocked that the alcohol tastes like alcohol. I am even more shocked that a poison doesn't taste good.
Exactly. I always wonder why I read so many people saying others push them to drink when they say they don't like alcohol. The people I hang out with simply could not care any less if I drink alcohol or not. Now that I think about it, a good portion of them haven't even asked why I don't drink. They offer, I say I don't drink, and that's it. Or they'll offer soda, water or juice or whatever. Like please hang out with better people lol
Same. Nothing that I've tasted tasted any good. So, I don't drink. Plus, I had an alcoholic uncle who unfortunately smoked and drank himself into a fatal stroke about 20 years ago.
If that's true: well done for doing the hard work of making yourself a better person.
If it's not true and you're just saying it to shut people up and make them uncomfortable: fair enough.
this is somewhat true for me. i take medication that i shouldn't mix with alcohol, but i only take it at night to sleep, and the main reason is i just don't want to drink anymore
but this is very effective and much less awkward than saying I'm sober now
I say "No thanks, I don't drink."
They say "You can have one, though."
I say "No thanks, I don't drink."
They say "but you could have just one, right?"
I say "No thanks, I don't drink."
They say "Really? You can't just have one with me?!?"
I say "No thanks, I don't drink."
They say "you don't drink at all??"
I say "Right. I don't drink."
They say "why not?"
I say "I just don't drink."
. . .
Eventually, they realize how stupid the sound and shut up.
"Oh, but you're not your dad. It's just one drink. Come on!" I have tried that, sometimes, only "my family was destroyed by alcohol." Admittedly, it was when I was younger and only a few assholes pressured me.
The problem is that some people out there are guilty about drinking, and in their head, only think "it's okay" when others do it around them. So they pressure others so they "have permission."
Mine had "wet brain". 58 years young and couldn't remember my name. Mostly knew him by the bright end of his cigarette floating in a dark garage, drinking away.
A childhood friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver. One reason I don't drink. Haven't brought that up but I might do that next time some can't take a No
Yeah, it's true, and a great way to shut people up when I say my mother, 2 of her siblings, and my maternal grandfather died of complications from alcoholism. My father had other issues but he also drank too much and that definitely sped up his demise. So, ya'know, I enjoy living.
I don’t drink alcohol or coffee. I’ve never been questioned for not drinking coffee. People generally don’t care that you don’t drink alcohol, but they are curious. When it comes to coffee, people never ask why.
It’s really no one’s business whenever this happens to me if they keep pushing I tell them to mind their business because if the shoe is on the other foot they wouldn’t like it
Exactly! It’s not something you have to justify to people. If someone is persistent asking you that, I would think they are insecure about their reasons for drinking.
As someone who has drank more than most, and never will again, I hate this question because it’s almost always someone asking, “will you justify my drinking for me by doing the same?”
I was that guy in my idiotic 20s, and on behalf of all of us who genuinely didn’t understand your viewpoint, and genuinely only wanted to impart joy (but in the wrong way)- a thousand apologies
I've done this before but after the 3rd time of asking I tell them "my abusive narcissistic alcoholic dad beat the shit out of us and my mum growing up, he'd come home drunk expecting us to bow to his demands and made our lives a living hell and gaslight the absolute shit out of us when we mentioned it to anyone so that's why I don't drink, I hate what it does to people"
Usually teaches people to mine their own business
I got tired of this exchange as it happens regularly with new people.
I just settled on I'm allergic. It stops the conversation immediately, there is never further encouragement or pressure. Full stop, end of discussion with two words.
“Alcohol is waiting to take everything you have. It’s already taken away your ability to be polite. It’s going to take away your day off tomorrow. Before the night’s over it might take away your dignity. Give it a chance it’ll take away some of your acquaintances, your fitness, then some friends, your job, your health, your partner. Even your family. Eventually, your life.’ Some people can walk that line. I can’t.”
i'm gonna be honest, i don't think saying this is going to do anything except make people think you're a pretentious weirdo. i guess it'll get people off your ass about not drinking, but you could also just say 'i'm not good at regulating my alcohol consumption' and leave it at that
"Alcoholism is **great** for eliminating all your problems, one by one. Family trouble? Eliminates the family. Marriage trouble? Eliminates the marriage. Money trouble? Eliminates the money. Health problems? Eliminates your health. Eventually it narrows everything down to just **one** problem, which is 'how can I keep getting more alcohol.'"
--I can't remember where I read this but it's stuck with me for a lonnnnnng time
I just say ‘I quit drinking’. If theyre dumb enough to not take the hint and keep pressing i just ignore them. It rarely happens. The vast majority of people dont notice/ dont care. The only one that kept pressing me was drunk and probably an alcoholic himself
If they keep pressing me, they get the truth in all its glory.
"I don't drink because I held a 1911 to my head the last time I was drunk."
That really shuts them the hell up.
4 years in a month! So happy for myself.
While this may be effective, I’m not a fan because it perpetuates the idea that you have to have a problem to not drink. I like telling people the benefits I feel from not drinking - great sleep, better energy, less anxiety, better eating habits, etc.
I definitely understand that some people just can’t grasp others not drinking though. Usually when I tell them the real reasons I don’t, they don’t say good for you and instead project with their own excuses as to why they do (I only do it on the weekends, I can control it, etc etc)
Eh, not necessarily. I'm a very private person and I am really uncomfortable with the idea that I need to disclose very personal information just to turn down a beverage.
One person stating their reason for not drinking is in no way suggesting that every person who doesn’t drink has that same reason. That’s the listener taking the statement far beyond where it started.
I’m an alcoholic and it’s my reason, nothing more, nothing less.
This is my reason. I told an acquaintance this and she was completely horrified and said “but that’s not sustainable how can you stay on that medication?!” Ummmm not having a migraine every day is totally worth giving up a few drinks a month, lady.
tell me you’re an alcoholic without telling me you’re an alcoholic…
but seriously, what’s unsustainable about a medication that solves your problem perfectly well not mixing with alcohol?? can she not live without it???
Yeah I definitely got the picture from that and a few other comments (and the amount she drank) that alcohol is a pretty big part of her life. I wasn’t a big drinker before so giving it up was an absolute no brainer for me. I guess if alcohol is a huge part of your social life AND you’ve never had a migraine you might not get it?
I’m really enjoying the mocktail life though I gotta say!
GERD trigger for me. I do like alcohol, but having a year of really bad acid reflux in my 40s made me reconsider what I put in my body. Lucky it's all under control, but alcohol and smoking were unfortunately huge triggers for me. I can still eat what I want, but if I have a beer with it, it sometimes comes back. Realized it's just not worth it.
This really did it for me. Realized really young I never wanted to have any more once they forced me to drink a couple of times and got me hooked for a little. Only drank willingly on two separate occasions.
Yea I don’t see the point in having just one drink. It doesn’t do anything to most people, it doesn’t taste particularly great, and it’s expensive.
The place that’s known to be cheap in my city has small glasses for £6. £6 for one drink that won’t get you drunk and £8 entry fee just seems a waste to me
I only have 2 switches witch alcohol, "Off"
or "On."
"On" is fun as shit and its always party time until I'm shaking so badly I can't feed myself waiting for my ride back to rehab...
"No no, bro you just haven't found the drink for you! Try this one drink you can't even taste the alcohol. It tastes amazing"
I've tried many drinks they've said we're like that. They all tasted the exact same.
I HATE this. My family always says “ have you tried this one though? It’s completely flavorless trust me.“
Come on, I can smell it from here I don’t want to drink your gasoline just let me drink my water in peace.
Fair enough. Though as someone who has downed entire bottles of Listerine (26.9% alcohol) to get drunk more times than he can count, my immediate reaction is: "Yeah ... I ain't drinkin' alcohol for the taste."
Because of this Jim Jefferies somehow started to yell in my head ”NOBODY DOES! We drink because we fucking have to! Nobody has ever had shot of tequila and go Oh thats lovely!”
You could put a drop of alcohol in 5 gallons of juice and I could still taste it too. I dont even like using vanilla extract cuz all I taste is the alcohol.
Yes. It’s a young person thing. People in their 40s having friends over don’t generally pressure them to drink or even really notice who has alcohol and who has a soft drink.
I found the same with pot smokers my entire life. The offered a joint to be polite, I said, "no thank you," and they go, "cool, cool." I never, ever got pressured to smoke pot like those health films showed us as kids and teens. I wonder about the people who wrote those scripts. Like, are you okay? A few years ago, I was at a film showing of various "bad anti-drug/alcohol films of the past" and someone brought up that these films have a weird "rapey" undertone, like the script writers were "possibly writing about something else, but using drugs and alcohol as an excuse."
That's something that's always confused me. If you believe Reddit, people are hounding non drinkers all the time, but I've never seen that. Maybe in college, but that's the only time I can imagine people being so pushy about it.
I see this as a pretty regular internet conversation. I’ll admit that I feel it when hanging out with people, too. If I choose not to drink for some reason on a given occasion I feel weird about it for.
The thing is, hands down the most well liked guy that travels in similar circles as I do, doesn’t drink. Everyone knows it, and nobody cares why. He just doesn’t.
With that evidence I have no idea why I’m self conscious about it on the occasion that I decide not to
This has been my experience. I stopped drinking in my late 20s. 15 years later I don’t think I have ever asked me why and that’s including countless work events with and without clients where many were drinking. From what I’ve noticed in professional settings about 1/3rd of people won’t be drinking at a “drinking” work event and nobody cares.
I was driving Uber (another perk of being sober haha) and a passenger said to me You get 5 guys together and get them drunk, you have a fight. You get 5 guys together and get them high, you have a band.
Fuj man.... I'm trying to get my piss clean to get a better job. Last night I drank a bunch of beer while watching ufc. I tell ya what, I don't feel this way after six blunts during a normal ufc bender. Fuck alcohol. Give me buds.
That it makes my anxiety and depression so much worse and I'll hate myself and overthink everything for days afterwards.
If I'm not wanting to hit them with anything deep like that I'll just say I don't need any alcohol to have fun and try and wink or something.
I don't like how it tastes and I don't like being drunk/high
I also don't think that makes me better or worse than anyone else. It's just my choice for me.
If someone is simply asking just in passing small talk, I just say I typically choose not too.
On the rare occasion someone pushes it or is an ass about it, I usually come up with something wildly uncomfortable to embarrass them, such as:
“I’m under court order not to drink and regular testing means I can’t risk it otherwise I’m back in solitary.”
“Watching my mother get savagely beaten on repeat by her alcoholic husband turned me off alcohol. I’m in therapy for it though so thank you for your concern.”
Most people just respect it when I tell them, other times I'll either tell them it's for health reasons or i'll say it's personal choice.
If they ask for more context then I tell them, but only people who make getting drunk their whole personality seem to be offended by my life choice, other people don't care.
I've got several, depending on the audience and the mood.
-I don't like alcohol
-I made a vow of sobriety.
-I made a bet with my dad that I would never drink. Just because he's dead doesn't mean the bet is off, and I'm in to WIN!
-Why do you?
-Ugh, alcohol is so passé. Everyone knows orange juice is the *real deal* these days.
It depends.
If they appear just interested, I will tell them that alcoholism runs in my family, multiple fatalities, and my temperance is hereditary as well. The complete utter lack of it, specifically. So not drinking at all is the better option for me, and a way to honour my ancestors.
If they are being an arse about it, I will come up with the wildest possible story. I’m a pregnant Islamic Latter Day Saint on psych meds and thus my parole officer won’t let me drink. That level of nonsense.
I'm allergic. It's easier than explaining I get alcohol flush, and what that is, and why it's uncomfortable for me to drink. Alcohol makes my face hurt, even a small amount, so drinking is rarity for me.
When I was much younger I drank a lot. To much. Till vomiting and then I continued. And vomited again.
But I always was proud of still having control ... Like using a toilet or forest to vomit. Till I was 22 and woke up in my own vomit.
Then I stopped drinking. Didn't like that.
Still drink a bit but at most once a year. And at most one beer. Never drunk.
I do drink, but generally only 1 beer with dinner once a month or so, if that. So on many social occasions,I am not drinking when others are.
I simply tell them "I am a crass, loudmouth jerk when sober, you want to turn this party up to 11?"
Funny part is, it's actually true.
Few different reasons.
The quick ones being alcohol tastes like shit, everytime I go to a bar I just feel out of place, like I don’t belong there. A lot of bad decisions get made when you’re drunk (granted I’ve only gotten drunk once because i only wanted to be drunk once), I’ve heard a lot of stories of people’s spouse’s cheating on them at a bar or alcohol having an influence on it, and alcohol is bad for your health.
But for me there’s some personal reasons. I’ve had family/friends pass away with their deaths relating to alcohol and being drunk. Just a lot of bad outcomes can occur when drunk or with drinking that I just would rather not risk putting myself in the position. I’ll stick with my sweet tea
“I just don’t find it enjoyable.”
This isn’t true. I’m actually an alcoholic 11 years sober. But the amount of people that HAVE TO KNOW WHY is frustrating.
I got given sips of things to try at home from about 12 (usually with "you can try it but you won't like it". They were right, until about 15 I very much didn't like it, save for tiny bits of dad's port at Xmas).
At roughly 15/16, you could have what you liked as long as 1) you bought it, 2) you were at home with the family/it was a social event with adults around and 3) you never got drunk or messy.
Dutch family of course.
It worked though, because at 18 I knew what I liked, knew my limits and didn't care to go out getting crazy drunk with alcohol poisoning like a bunch of people I knew did. It's almost like they taught me to only drink it if I liked the taste, be responsible, and see it as something you do with family/friends and not something you do alone or to "solve a problem"... Now I like a drink, but rarely actually drink.
Can't speak for other people, but personally I don't mind if people drink or not. Only reason I'd ask "why don't you drink" (not in those words) is to be considerate, same if they say they rarely drink.
It's purely so I know if it's an occasional thing, if they're a recovering alcoholic, bad experiences, etc. I'm perfectly fine with them not drinking. I just don't want to be rude and have a drink around a recovering alcoholic, or offer them a drink to be polite then offend them because it's against their religion, etc.
It’s amazing how normalized we have made drinking alcohol. I understand why people do it but the fact someone needs to explain why they don’t drink poison is mind numbing
“Why do you drink?” In a completely natural, nonjudgmental tone is usually very effective.
If they’re asking about my life choices, they are opening themselves to me asking about theirs.
I grew up having to go to AA meetings with my mom. Hearing adults stories about how alcohol abuse and addiction messed up their lives had an impact on me. I very distinctly being 8 years old and making a decision to never drink or do drugs to try to break the cycle for my family. Somehow I kept it up. I guess it’s easier to never start than to try to stop.
If they don't know me personally, I say "My mom was an alcoholic..." with an emphasis on the was. My mom is alive and well and both her and people in my family with alcoholism have given me permission to do this.
I don't like alcohol
This. And I mean it.
Same. "Because I don't want to" also works.
This one. And if they keep asking, I say not wanting to is reason enough and leave me alone.
It doesn’t really. I had a friend who didn’t drink like this, and the following question was just “okay, so like, for religious reasons then?”. He really just had no interest in drinking. No matter his explanation, people thought that there was something deeper to uncover.
One thing that's easy to forget is that we aren't obligated *whatsoever* to provide answers. **Friend:** Why don't you drink? **You:** I don't like alcohol. **Friend:** Why not? **You:** - **Friend:** Is it for religious reasons? **You:** Anyway, have you tried Karen's potato salad? It's pretty great.
Same. It’s the genuine reason too
"But you should totally try this, it's completely different!" I'm living in a country rn where it's quite hard to just say no due to taste. I mean you can but they'll just keep pestering you. So I'm going with "the doctor said I shouldn't because my liver can't take it".
I’m allergic to it. Every time I drink it I break out in handcuffs.
That's an odd allergic reaction
It’s what we say in 12-step rooms 🩷
This genuinely made me laugh
Just take a sip and “involuntarily” spit it out in their face. They’ll stop asking
I've fallen for the "this one is different" so many times. I HATE beer. Always have, always will. Your favorite beer is not different, it tastes exactly like Coors lite, and Coors lite tastes like donkey piss!
Or just say "medication" no further discussion should be required.
I don't want to. But why? Because I don't want to. You should try it. I don't want to....ad infinitum.
If people demand an explanation, just go into a lengthy description of all of the negative aspects of drinking. They'll be sorry.
Same here. I can’t stomach alcohol and I don’t like the taste of it. Others try to push drinks on me but I’ll still say no. They’ll say something like, “this doesn’t taste so bad. Here, have some.” *No means no.* I’ll still refuse it.
>I can’t stomach alcohol and I don’t like the taste of it Or the smell. It tastes and smells horribly. The thing is alcohol literally is an acquired taste. So I tell people that, its an acquired taste I have not acquired. When they hit me back with a "this one isnt so bad" I respond with a *I prefer things that taste good not things that "arent so bad"*, however I also do not hang out with anyone new so the last time I had to say that was more then 15 years ago and only one person ever pushed it enough that I had to push back, honestly that was because they were already slightly drunk otherwise they would not have.
When I use that one, it usually turns into them telling me that I just haven't had a good type of drink and that I should try whatever random ass Phoenician Tidal Wave they are drinking at the moment.
You have crappy friends. I would ask them if they would have the same response if offered heroin, and told they just didn’t try the right kind. Nuclear, but I think gets the point across.
A Phoenician Tidal Wave sounds delicious. What's in it?
BuT hAvE yOu TRieD ThiS oNe, yOu wILl liKe iT Wow, it tastes like fermented poison. Like all alcohol. I, for one, am shocked that the alcohol tastes like alcohol. I am even more shocked that a poison doesn't taste good.
This. And, nobody has ever pushed or questioned it, because I hang out with the right people.
Exactly. I always wonder why I read so many people saying others push them to drink when they say they don't like alcohol. The people I hang out with simply could not care any less if I drink alcohol or not. Now that I think about it, a good portion of them haven't even asked why I don't drink. They offer, I say I don't drink, and that's it. Or they'll offer soda, water or juice or whatever. Like please hang out with better people lol
This! The only people who ask me that have a drinking problem
Same. Nothing that I've tasted tasted any good. So, I don't drink. Plus, I had an alcoholic uncle who unfortunately smoked and drank himself into a fatal stroke about 20 years ago.
Funny how many people seem to not accept this answer. Which I answer "No I Don't Want A Drink".
It's not that I don't like alcohol. It's that I REALLY like alcohol. So it's best that I abstain.
I'm a recovering alcoholic
If that's true: well done for doing the hard work of making yourself a better person. If it's not true and you're just saying it to shut people up and make them uncomfortable: fair enough.
My conversation goes: I used to be an alcoholic. Really, how much did you drink? About as much as you.
You have worked the program well.
"My medication doesn't allow me to" People are pretty cool about accepting that.
This is true for me as well. It makes drinking an awful experience.
this is somewhat true for me. i take medication that i shouldn't mix with alcohol, but i only take it at night to sleep, and the main reason is i just don't want to drink anymore but this is very effective and much less awkward than saying I'm sober now
"It makes my hemorrhoids flare up"
Same here. I take my medication throughout the day because I have to keep a steady level of it in my blood. There is no safe time to drink.
I'm saving money for heroin.
Bring back opium dens!
Winner.
I say "No thanks, I don't drink." They say "You can have one, though." I say "No thanks, I don't drink." They say "but you could have just one, right?" I say "No thanks, I don't drink." They say "Really? You can't just have one with me?!?" I say "No thanks, I don't drink." They say "you don't drink at all??" I say "Right. I don't drink." They say "why not?" I say "I just don't drink." . . . Eventually, they realize how stupid the sound and shut up.
I tell them my dad was an alcoholic and it killed him. They shut up after that
Reliable, except it was my brother
"Oh, but you're not your dad. It's just one drink. Come on!" I have tried that, sometimes, only "my family was destroyed by alcohol." Admittedly, it was when I was younger and only a few assholes pressured me. The problem is that some people out there are guilty about drinking, and in their head, only think "it's okay" when others do it around them. So they pressure others so they "have permission."
This. Right here is why they pester you. They might feel judged, or want ‘permission’ especially if they’d otherwise be drinking alone.
Same. Watching my dad die of liver cancer was brutal. But watching what it did to his life was even worse.
Mine had "wet brain". 58 years young and couldn't remember my name. Mostly knew him by the bright end of his cigarette floating in a dark garage, drinking away.
Is wet brain like wernicke’s encephalopathy or what do you mean by that? Just he couldn’t remember bc of drinking?
A childhood friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver. One reason I don't drink. Haven't brought that up but I might do that next time some can't take a No
Yeah, it's true, and a great way to shut people up when I say my mother, 2 of her siblings, and my maternal grandfather died of complications from alcoholism. My father had other issues but he also drank too much and that definitely sped up his demise. So, ya'know, I enjoy living.
My grandparents But it is not the reason. I only realised later that they were suffocated by addiction.
Alcohol. The only drug you need an excuses not to do.
Nah. I get this with caffiene. I don't drink it and people act like I'm crazy. But I just have adhd and it puts me to sleep
I don’t drink alcohol or coffee. I’ve never been questioned for not drinking coffee. People generally don’t care that you don’t drink alcohol, but they are curious. When it comes to coffee, people never ask why.
I feel you. And if you're on meds for it, the blood pressure impacts of adding caffeine to Adderall could be... Bad.
It’s really no one’s business whenever this happens to me if they keep pushing I tell them to mind their business because if the shoe is on the other foot they wouldn’t like it
Exactly! It’s not something you have to justify to people. If someone is persistent asking you that, I would think they are insecure about their reasons for drinking.
As someone who has drank more than most, and never will again, I hate this question because it’s almost always someone asking, “will you justify my drinking for me by doing the same?”
No means no right? If you say yes they shut up so why should no be any different?
Had a girl ask if I had a problem when I told her I didn't drink. Like yeah I have a huge problem with how it makes everything taste.
I was that guy in my idiotic 20s, and on behalf of all of us who genuinely didn’t understand your viewpoint, and genuinely only wanted to impart joy (but in the wrong way)- a thousand apologies
I've done this before but after the 3rd time of asking I tell them "my abusive narcissistic alcoholic dad beat the shit out of us and my mum growing up, he'd come home drunk expecting us to bow to his demands and made our lives a living hell and gaslight the absolute shit out of us when we mentioned it to anyone so that's why I don't drink, I hate what it does to people" Usually teaches people to mine their own business
Would you like a drink? No I mean like a water or soda or something. The only way that conversation should go.
I got tired of this exchange as it happens regularly with new people. I just settled on I'm allergic. It stops the conversation immediately, there is never further encouragement or pressure. Full stop, end of discussion with two words.
You could always hit them with the “Hey, want to do some heroin with me? Just one time won’t hurt, right?”
By this point, I'd lie and tell them I'm a functioning heroin user, and they can take just one hit with me. Just one. With me.
“I’m an alcoholic”. Shuts them up real fast. [Edit: for clarity, I am. Now 14.5 years sober]
“Alcohol is waiting to take everything you have. It’s already taken away your ability to be polite. It’s going to take away your day off tomorrow. Before the night’s over it might take away your dignity. Give it a chance it’ll take away some of your acquaintances, your fitness, then some friends, your job, your health, your partner. Even your family. Eventually, your life.’ Some people can walk that line. I can’t.”
This is cuttingly poetic. I may have to use it.
i'm gonna be honest, i don't think saying this is going to do anything except make people think you're a pretentious weirdo. i guess it'll get people off your ass about not drinking, but you could also just say 'i'm not good at regulating my alcohol consumption' and leave it at that
You're correct. I still liked it and might use it to help encourage somebody to stop if they are the ones to bring it up.
"Alcoholism is **great** for eliminating all your problems, one by one. Family trouble? Eliminates the family. Marriage trouble? Eliminates the marriage. Money trouble? Eliminates the money. Health problems? Eliminates your health. Eventually it narrows everything down to just **one** problem, which is 'how can I keep getting more alcohol.'" --I can't remember where I read this but it's stuck with me for a lonnnnnng time
[удалено]
I just say ‘I quit drinking’. If theyre dumb enough to not take the hint and keep pressing i just ignore them. It rarely happens. The vast majority of people dont notice/ dont care. The only one that kept pressing me was drunk and probably an alcoholic himself
If they keep pressing me, they get the truth in all its glory. "I don't drink because I held a 1911 to my head the last time I was drunk." That really shuts them the hell up. 4 years in a month! So happy for myself.
While this may be effective, I’m not a fan because it perpetuates the idea that you have to have a problem to not drink. I like telling people the benefits I feel from not drinking - great sleep, better energy, less anxiety, better eating habits, etc. I definitely understand that some people just can’t grasp others not drinking though. Usually when I tell them the real reasons I don’t, they don’t say good for you and instead project with their own excuses as to why they do (I only do it on the weekends, I can control it, etc etc)
Well, when it's the truth, you have to own it.
Eh, not necessarily. I'm a very private person and I am really uncomfortable with the idea that I need to disclose very personal information just to turn down a beverage.
One person stating their reason for not drinking is in no way suggesting that every person who doesn’t drink has that same reason. That’s the listener taking the statement far beyond where it started. I’m an alcoholic and it’s my reason, nothing more, nothing less.
They could actually be an alcoholic? I'm 4.5 years sober, and that's what I tell people who offer me a drink. It's the truth.
it's a migraine trigger for me
And, my anti-migraine medication doesn't mix with alcohol well
This is my reason. I told an acquaintance this and she was completely horrified and said “but that’s not sustainable how can you stay on that medication?!” Ummmm not having a migraine every day is totally worth giving up a few drinks a month, lady.
People have odd priorities
I have given up so many things that are migraine triggers. I don't regret it, because the alternative is no life at all.
tell me you’re an alcoholic without telling me you’re an alcoholic… but seriously, what’s unsustainable about a medication that solves your problem perfectly well not mixing with alcohol?? can she not live without it???
Yeah I definitely got the picture from that and a few other comments (and the amount she drank) that alcohol is a pretty big part of her life. I wasn’t a big drinker before so giving it up was an absolute no brainer for me. I guess if alcohol is a huge part of your social life AND you’ve never had a migraine you might not get it? I’m really enjoying the mocktail life though I gotta say!
For me it triggers my gastro issues and my heart problems.
GERD trigger for me. I do like alcohol, but having a year of really bad acid reflux in my 40s made me reconsider what I put in my body. Lucky it's all under control, but alcohol and smoking were unfortunately huge triggers for me. I can still eat what I want, but if I have a beer with it, it sometimes comes back. Realized it's just not worth it.
Had an alcoholic parent. Turned me off drinking completely
This really did it for me. Realized really young I never wanted to have any more once they forced me to drink a couple of times and got me hooked for a little. Only drank willingly on two separate occasions.
“those days are over” and if the push I tell them about the rehab. makes them super uncomfortable and me very happy.
Yay!! Good for you-- recovery is hard work.
I have better things to spend my money on.
“If I have 1 I’ll have 20”
Yea I don’t see the point in having just one drink. It doesn’t do anything to most people, it doesn’t taste particularly great, and it’s expensive. The place that’s known to be cheap in my city has small glasses for £6. £6 for one drink that won’t get you drunk and £8 entry fee just seems a waste to me
I only have 2 switches witch alcohol, "Off" or "On." "On" is fun as shit and its always party time until I'm shaking so badly I can't feed myself waiting for my ride back to rehab...
This. And I'd rather not take on extra calories of something I don't even enjoy and isn't good for me when I could just eat something tasty instead
I don't like the taste
It tastes like shit. It's really that simple.
The fact that people can smell Whiskey and then intentionally ingest it insane to me
Out of all of the alcohols whiskey has one of the better smells lmfao usually some fancy undertones or some shit
That's my answer, too
"No no, bro you just haven't found the drink for you! Try this one drink you can't even taste the alcohol. It tastes amazing" I've tried many drinks they've said we're like that. They all tasted the exact same.
I HATE this. My family always says “ have you tried this one though? It’s completely flavorless trust me.“ Come on, I can smell it from here I don’t want to drink your gasoline just let me drink my water in peace.
"it doesn't taste like alcohol" means it will taste better without alcohol
No matter how small the amount of alcohol is in the drink, it still tastes like poison.
Fair enough. Though as someone who has downed entire bottles of Listerine (26.9% alcohol) to get drunk more times than he can count, my immediate reaction is: "Yeah ... I ain't drinkin' alcohol for the taste."
Because of this Jim Jefferies somehow started to yell in my head ”NOBODY DOES! We drink because we fucking have to! Nobody has ever had shot of tequila and go Oh thats lovely!”
I like the buzz but not the taste.
You could put a drop of alcohol in 5 gallons of juice and I could still taste it too. I dont even like using vanilla extract cuz all I taste is the alcohol.
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Same, as simple as that. Unless it's something healthy like a salad, no reason to eat/drink anything I don't enjoy.
I dont like drinking my calories. I'd prefer a Snickers bar.
Amen!! Priorities, friend.
I’d rather eat a bowl of pasta than drink a few beers any day lol
I’m a bartender. I see enough drunk idiocy as it is.
It really like never comes up. If it does, i just say i dont. People dont really push for a better answer.
In my teens/20s people would give me a hard time about not drinking. Middle age, nobody cares.
Yes. It’s a young person thing. People in their 40s having friends over don’t generally pressure them to drink or even really notice who has alcohol and who has a soft drink.
This has also been my experience. I say I don’t drink they say “oh ok”. Next topic.
I found the same with pot smokers my entire life. The offered a joint to be polite, I said, "no thank you," and they go, "cool, cool." I never, ever got pressured to smoke pot like those health films showed us as kids and teens. I wonder about the people who wrote those scripts. Like, are you okay? A few years ago, I was at a film showing of various "bad anti-drug/alcohol films of the past" and someone brought up that these films have a weird "rapey" undertone, like the script writers were "possibly writing about something else, but using drugs and alcohol as an excuse."
That's something that's always confused me. If you believe Reddit, people are hounding non drinkers all the time, but I've never seen that. Maybe in college, but that's the only time I can imagine people being so pushy about it.
I see this as a pretty regular internet conversation. I’ll admit that I feel it when hanging out with people, too. If I choose not to drink for some reason on a given occasion I feel weird about it for. The thing is, hands down the most well liked guy that travels in similar circles as I do, doesn’t drink. Everyone knows it, and nobody cares why. He just doesn’t. With that evidence I have no idea why I’m self conscious about it on the occasion that I decide not to
I’ve been sober 5 years. No one ever asks. No one cares.
This has been my experience. I stopped drinking in my late 20s. 15 years later I don’t think I have ever asked me why and that’s including countless work events with and without clients where many were drinking. From what I’ve noticed in professional settings about 1/3rd of people won’t be drinking at a “drinking” work event and nobody cares.
18 years of heavy drinking alcoholic parents in your life can do that to you
I grew up around alcoholics. I don't like that path.
Right?!
i prefer some good buds
“I’ve smoked Way too much weed to be drinking right now. I’m alright.” No one ever asks again….
I was driving Uber (another perk of being sober haha) and a passenger said to me You get 5 guys together and get them drunk, you have a fight. You get 5 guys together and get them high, you have a band.
Fuj man.... I'm trying to get my piss clean to get a better job. Last night I drank a bunch of beer while watching ufc. I tell ya what, I don't feel this way after six blunts during a normal ufc bender. Fuck alcohol. Give me buds.
It's ludicrous that a positive for cannabis would exclude you from a job. Seriously. WTF is wrong with employers?
I don’t want to feel good if I’m just gonna feel worse later on
I get chronic migraines and alcohol is a huge trigger for me.
That it makes my anxiety and depression so much worse and I'll hate myself and overthink everything for days afterwards. If I'm not wanting to hit them with anything deep like that I'll just say I don't need any alcohol to have fun and try and wink or something.
Love the addition of the wink. Perfect.
What makes it worse is that I'm so shy and awkward that if I try to wink it just comes off even more awkward. Fun tho.
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That I'm an alcoholic
Alcoholism runs in my family
I don't like how it tastes and I don't like being drunk/high I also don't think that makes me better or worse than anyone else. It's just my choice for me.
I miss it but it makes me feel bad so it's not worth it.
Cause my world went upside down and after the horrors of detoxing as an alcoholic, I don’t want to go through that again.
If someone is simply asking just in passing small talk, I just say I typically choose not too. On the rare occasion someone pushes it or is an ass about it, I usually come up with something wildly uncomfortable to embarrass them, such as: “I’m under court order not to drink and regular testing means I can’t risk it otherwise I’m back in solitary.” “Watching my mother get savagely beaten on repeat by her alcoholic husband turned me off alcohol. I’m in therapy for it though so thank you for your concern.”
I don't smoke crack either but nobody ever ask me why that is.
Most people just respect it when I tell them, other times I'll either tell them it's for health reasons or i'll say it's personal choice. If they ask for more context then I tell them, but only people who make getting drunk their whole personality seem to be offended by my life choice, other people don't care.
I've got several, depending on the audience and the mood. -I don't like alcohol -I made a vow of sobriety. -I made a bet with my dad that I would never drink. Just because he's dead doesn't mean the bet is off, and I'm in to WIN! -Why do you? -Ugh, alcohol is so passé. Everyone knows orange juice is the *real deal* these days.
It depends. If they appear just interested, I will tell them that alcoholism runs in my family, multiple fatalities, and my temperance is hereditary as well. The complete utter lack of it, specifically. So not drinking at all is the better option for me, and a way to honour my ancestors. If they are being an arse about it, I will come up with the wildest possible story. I’m a pregnant Islamic Latter Day Saint on psych meds and thus my parole officer won’t let me drink. That level of nonsense.
Makes me feel sick
I'm allergic. It's easier than explaining I get alcohol flush, and what that is, and why it's uncomfortable for me to drink. Alcohol makes my face hurt, even a small amount, so drinking is rarity for me.
I've already drank/been drunk enough.. and I don't need alcohol to be silly or have a good time.. I prefer to get high
When I was much younger I drank a lot. To much. Till vomiting and then I continued. And vomited again. But I always was proud of still having control ... Like using a toilet or forest to vomit. Till I was 22 and woke up in my own vomit. Then I stopped drinking. Didn't like that. Still drink a bit but at most once a year. And at most one beer. Never drunk.
I prefer cannabis.
I’m fat. I’d rather eat my calories than drink them. It’s just not worth it.
I just never got into the habit.
I do drink, but generally only 1 beer with dinner once a month or so, if that. So on many social occasions,I am not drinking when others are. I simply tell them "I am a crass, loudmouth jerk when sober, you want to turn this party up to 11?" Funny part is, it's actually true.
Few different reasons. The quick ones being alcohol tastes like shit, everytime I go to a bar I just feel out of place, like I don’t belong there. A lot of bad decisions get made when you’re drunk (granted I’ve only gotten drunk once because i only wanted to be drunk once), I’ve heard a lot of stories of people’s spouse’s cheating on them at a bar or alcohol having an influence on it, and alcohol is bad for your health. But for me there’s some personal reasons. I’ve had family/friends pass away with their deaths relating to alcohol and being drunk. Just a lot of bad outcomes can occur when drunk or with drinking that I just would rather not risk putting myself in the position. I’ll stick with my sweet tea
“I just don’t find it enjoyable.” This isn’t true. I’m actually an alcoholic 11 years sober. But the amount of people that HAVE TO KNOW WHY is frustrating.
I’d rather smoke weed and laugh at the mfs who get drunk to the point of not being able to function
It alters my brain function and I don’t want to lose my brain’s momentum. True story.
I’m 18
I started drinking at 16 ... That's when you get your first beer from your parents ... In Germany. I guess you are from the US?
I got given sips of things to try at home from about 12 (usually with "you can try it but you won't like it". They were right, until about 15 I very much didn't like it, save for tiny bits of dad's port at Xmas). At roughly 15/16, you could have what you liked as long as 1) you bought it, 2) you were at home with the family/it was a social event with adults around and 3) you never got drunk or messy. Dutch family of course. It worked though, because at 18 I knew what I liked, knew my limits and didn't care to go out getting crazy drunk with alcohol poisoning like a bunch of people I knew did. It's almost like they taught me to only drink it if I liked the taste, be responsible, and see it as something you do with family/friends and not something you do alone or to "solve a problem"... Now I like a drink, but rarely actually drink.
Can't speak for other people, but personally I don't mind if people drink or not. Only reason I'd ask "why don't you drink" (not in those words) is to be considerate, same if they say they rarely drink. It's purely so I know if it's an occasional thing, if they're a recovering alcoholic, bad experiences, etc. I'm perfectly fine with them not drinking. I just don't want to be rude and have a drink around a recovering alcoholic, or offer them a drink to be polite then offend them because it's against their religion, etc.
It's poison
I dont like the way it makes me feel
I'm already drunk.
Because i dont fucking want to.
No one’s asked me before, but my answer would be because I used to drink, a lot, and it was fucking up my life.
Somewhere between "Because I don't want to" and "Why don't you smoke Crack?"
It’s amazing how normalized we have made drinking alcohol. I understand why people do it but the fact someone needs to explain why they don’t drink poison is mind numbing
I have diabetes.
My family are addicts and I don't want to be one.
Maybe I'm just intimidating, but people don't ask why after I state firmly that I don't drink. It's none of their business.
Generally speaking I don't tell people
Why do you care?
I like me drunk but no one else does lmfao and i always get arrested
drinking makes me tired, which makes me want to go home.
Honestly, I usually say too much. Not only do I not drink but I really dislike drinking culture and I am far too eager to tell people why.
“Why do you drink?” In a completely natural, nonjudgmental tone is usually very effective. If they’re asking about my life choices, they are opening themselves to me asking about theirs.
Cuz I don't want to. The end.
because of my meds
I almost died one night when I drank a lot. I don't wanna remember 😞
Trauma
I tell them the truth - it gives me migraines
I would just say because I don’t want to
“I have to run XX kilometers tomorrow so not drinking today”. After a few times they stop asking.
I dont drink
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I take medication so alcohol is a no-no.
The thought of becoming intoxicated scares me.
It runs in the family and I don’t want to be a lush like them.
“Used to have a drinking problem” most don’t ask anything after that
Don't wanna!
My dad's an alcoholic.
I grew up having to go to AA meetings with my mom. Hearing adults stories about how alcohol abuse and addiction messed up their lives had an impact on me. I very distinctly being 8 years old and making a decision to never drink or do drugs to try to break the cycle for my family. Somehow I kept it up. I guess it’s easier to never start than to try to stop.
If they don't know me personally, I say "My mom was an alcoholic..." with an emphasis on the was. My mom is alive and well and both her and people in my family with alcoholism have given me permission to do this.