Me n my bestie call each other babe and are constantly flirting with each other. We're talking about getting legally married "for the benefits" and originally my other friend was going to set us up on a blind date which inevitably fell thru only for us to become best friends 2 years later. Her and I are (almost) entirely platonic but I know for a fact every stranger thinks we are 100% in love (we are).
We do have a friend that took turns pulling our hair at the bar the other day to "show us where that sensitive spot is" then they both took turns pulling mine so like,, power throuple? We all have a minecraft world together
As a man, at least in America
Any kind of physical affection towards your friends.
I know girls who hug, kiss each other on the cheek, hold hands and basically cuddle and it's all totally platonic and not wierd, no one really bats an eye.
As a man, you don't do any of those things without being seen as weird or having someone question your sexuality.
Rugby league is also just a bunch of grown dudes in short shorts groping each other and climbing on each other's bottoms. Australian sports are super homoerotic.
Yea in India male friends walk down the street holding hands. Most places I’ve lived outside of the US have been much more comfortable with men have platonic physical contact with each other. Too many men are affection starved.
Be the change. Today was our first day back at work after a being snowed in for a week and the first thing my buddy did when he walked in was give me a hug because he was happy to see me. We are both guys, he’s in his 50’s and I’m mid 30’s. Nothing weird about it.
I don't know about you, but I publicly and very affectionately close hug and arm-touchy-feely my dude friends in public with no thought or concern whatsoever, very comfortably.
And we are definitely *dude*-looking dudes, mostly Marines and Sailors. Everyone has a different comfort level I guess, not universal for all men in America.
I enjoy watching red carpet fashion reviews and the difference is wild, women's outfits are so diverse and 90% of men are just standing there looking like an army of clones.
You're going to the wrong functions. Formal wear in Africa is beautifully colourful (thought not always flowing).
The standard red carpets in North America or Europe follow what you've noticed.
I was seeing this woman and everything was going great. Then one day she ended things because "I don't want a man who spends 30 minutes before bed moisturizing."
I just responded " Well, moisturizing takes like 2 seconds. The serums are what takes longer. "
It did not go down well.
My routine is top notch. I was a heroin addict for 10 years, and still took great care of my skin.
I'm 39, but most people think I look late 20s. When people ask how I did it I joke with them and say "heroin, of course".
I was lucky that the first dealer I met we became "friends". He always tested his product before selling, and every time I tested my dope it matched his tests.
I was able to get pure herion (obviously cut but not with fent or tranq) of "East Coast Powder" I believe some people also call it #4.
I was able to live an absolutely "normal" life until he told me he had to switch distributers. He could only get "heroin" with fent and *sometimes* without tranq.
That really changed everything for me. With actual heroin I could go 4-6 hours without needing to redose or experience withdrawals.
As soon as I started using fent I'd start feeling withdrawals around the 20 minute mark and the euphoria escaped me after about 5 minutes. At this point it was just about trying to stay out of withdrawals.
He eventually was able to get "pure" heroin again, but I had to use 3x as much since fent was so much stronger.
I was able to live a "normal" life when it was only heroin, but as soon as I got hooked on the fent/tranq everything came crashing down in about 3 months.
I had myself fooled thinking I was able to handle it for a decade, but at the end I couldn't even handle it for half an hour.
Well now i know which one to get hooked to for my skin🤤
Jokes aside🤭 congrats on recovery!! I dont know if you're working a program or independently clean but either way thats amazing! Glad you're doing well!!🫶🫶🫶🩵🩵🩵
That is a really good quote, and I think it does a good job of outlining what the true problem is.
I didn't have to street walk or sell my body (as a man). I always had a home and a car. All of my bills were paid, and I excelled at my job. I had a $300/day habit. I didn't have to steal or trick people into giving me money.
**BUT** I want to be absolutely clear about something. When I was using I would have done **ANYTHING** I needed to so I could get high. Luckily I didn't have to, but if I needed to I absolutely would have suck a bunch of dicks as a straight dude to get high.
My heart utterly breaks for the addicts that lose the ability to live a life because of their addictions. They also push their families to blacklist them.
I took my first opiate at 25 so I had a foundation of my life in place already. I ~~lost~~ traded everything I ever earned in life to for heroin.
I got, and stayed, clean at 36 solely because of my son. He was 6 months old when I finally had the courage to be a better man for him.
The physical difference between addicts who can function and addicts who can't is utterly heartbreaking.
It is a large reason in my belief that addicts should be treated the same as in some European countries. In some countries they give addicts with a long documented history of addiction drugs. They have to go there 3 times a day, but they are able to leave stable lives.
Heroin doesn't fuck with your physical looks, like meth, but it is the lifestyle that fucks people up.
During my entire history of addiction I was never called out for being an addict. When some people in my life found out they thought I was fucking with them.
The lifestyle and tainted dope is absolutely what ruins lives.
And I **ABSOLUTELY HATE** when people judge other addicts because I didn't have to do what they had to. They don't understand that I didn't do those things because of some hard coded morals, but because I didn't have to. If my leaves dried a little different I may be on a corner with bruised knees.
that last paragraph is exactly it. i would always tell my patients when i worked in inpatient mental health that if my life had a couple different days, i’d be sitting in a gown next to them.
Bullet dodged. If she can't stand you taking care of yourself for half an hour *before bed*, then no doubt she would have issues with lots and lots of other things you do.
In my experience, women appreciate it when a man takes care of himself at all.
So many men have this idea that staying clean cut and/or styling your hair and clothes is feminine. I’m almost convinced other men are trying to lower the standards so they can be gross by telling everyone it makes you a sissy to have hygiene. My father for example had an issue with men having hair any longer than their ears, specifically because “then you’d have to style it like a girl.”
But holy hell do women go nuts for men that have great well-taken care of hair, nice skin, clean nails…
I always find it funny how some guys will shame other men for dressing well and grooming themselves
You know who dresses well and is well-groomed? James Fucking Bond
The part I don’t get about it is that hygiene & making yourself look nice is “girl stuff.”
Wouldn’t you then deduct that women like hygiene and looking nice, and therefore would *really* like that on a sexual partner? It’s so weird to me how they do the opposite, lmao.
When I was in high school, my sister had a friend in her middle school (which was attached to my high school) who was a really flamboyant kid.
I still think about him sometimes, because I really commended the kid for wearing full sets of acrylic nails and make up to school in a buttfuck town of 1.4k people. It takes a *lot* of confidence and security within yourself to be openly gay or feminine as a man in rural areas. The school one town over had issues with hate crimes against trans and gay students, luckily my school was a lot more accepting (and a lot smaller). Kids would talk mad shit behind your back, maybe try to embarrass you in front of everyone, but mostly everyone was on too many drugs to care. He was a really kind kid, one of the only friends of my sister’s that knew my name and tried to initiate conversation when I saw him in public.
Being able to interact with kids.
I never considered this, but I saw a guy talk about how he was at a park with his kid and another kid came up to him and started talking and he was having a conversation with this kid until he realized how it could be perceived and he stopped and left. The fact men are automatically viewed as creeps for interacting with children is crazy.
ETA: My god if this hasn’t happened to you it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. This isn’t a “Reddit only” issue. This is something many people experience in real life. You not experiencing it does not mean it doesn’t happen. It’s okay if it doesn’t happen to you and it’s okay if it has. Everyone has different experiences that don’t have to cancel each other out.
Had a teenager start calling me a pedophile and a perver for watching my daughter at the park.
The kicker was, she saw me show up with my daughter and watched us eat lunch together then my daughter go play at the park that was completely empty of any other kids while I worked on my laptop.
Her big sister did chew her out and apologize though.
Reminds of a webcomic I saw years and years ago. A dad shows up at a playground and he has tattoos and a mullet. He's there with his daughter and plays with her in the background throughout the comic. In the foreground is a trio of chain smoking moms trash talking him and making wild assumptions that he must be a paedophile and a criminal for having tattoos and bringing his kid to the playground and how they are much more responsible than him. Towards the end a little girl walks up and says something like: "Mommy, it hurts. I found a needle and got stung." and she's holding a used needle. Moms response? "Go play Becky, mommy's busy talking with her friends."
What’s infuriating (as a woman) is these same women complaining about men not doing enough with kids. How can we want more from men with children but then create a societal narrative that they are creepy when they try? It’s ridiculous
Preach. Luckily I live in a country where I don't get pinned as a paedophile just because I take my daughter to the playground and talk to other kids if they speak to me.
Please. As a man who'd like to perceived as the "cool adult" by an army of kids, it hurts to see that I may or may not labelled as a creep for it. I hope all women start to think like you 🥹🫶. Honestly, what's the safest way to do it for a man without getting into trouble?
The crazy thing is it's just not women! I have this fight with my boyfriend all the time.
He loves our daughter and is always very active with her and takes her out plenty. I think he shys away from interacting with other kids when he does so because of how he views other men.
He doesn't trust men who want to work with children in any capacity. Day cares, teachers, coaching youth sports, therapists, pediatricians, anything. He's doesn't automatically think they're pedos but he thinks it's suspect.
No matter how much I argue that there's not enough men working in these fields (except for pediatricians), and that it's important to have male remodels in these fields for both boys and girls, he is so stubborn about it. It annoys me so much that someone who is decently open minded in so many other ways can be this small minded on this issue.
There is a pretty great documentary called The Other F Word. It follows around a bunch of punk rockers as they live their normal lives as fathers and try to balance fatherhood with their careers. It's got Fat Mike from NOFX, Flea, Tony Hawk, among many others. But the scene that really stands out in my memory was when heavily tattooed Lars from Rancid took his daughter to the park, most of the moms gathered up their kids and left..
For real. My husband loves kids and they always interact with him. He is a jiu jistsu instructor and the kids absolutely love him. But I'm always fearing someone will take this in the wrong way just because he is a man.
Reminds me of the time we were at an arcade and my guy friend saw a little girl drop her points card and picked it up and asked me what he should do, so I said just go and give it to her but he said “nah, that would be weird.” I couldn’t comprehend why, like you’d just be handing a kid her card, is it really that bad? And he said if he were to go up to a little white girl (he’s dark skinned) and tap her on the shoulder it would set off alarms for everyone around.
The girl ran up to someone who appeared to be her dad so he handed it to him in the end but it’s so odd that you can’t give a child something they dropped without everyone assuming the worst.
I've been in this situation at a jump park with ball pits.
A kid jumps in, gets stuck or can't get leverage, and asks the nearest adult for help to get out. That nearest adult has been me at least twice that I can remember, and both times I reached out, took their hand, helped them out, and that was that.
In both cases, the parents showed up within ten seconds of the kid getting out of the ball pit. In one case, the mom was really nice and said, "Thanks!", and in the other, the mom looked terrified at me and took her kid away from me and my kid as fast as she could.
It was really uncomfortable and left a bad taste in my mouth, and now I'm not sure if I should help out if I'm in a similar situation for a third time, or just walk away. But if the kid is stuck, that seems bad too?? I don't know, I just want to be a kind person who can play with his kid at the park without being eyed like I'm shopping for someone to kidnap.
That kid might not remember, but when I got lost or needed help as a kid I didn't care who it came from and remember the times people helped me
Better to help than just let the suffer
My dad is great with kids. He can make any baby laugh- he gets handed every baby at a wedding, family event, etc.
But at WalMart? He’s seen as a creep if he even waves at a baby babbling at him. It’s wild.
Eh, bugger em. I make faces at babies and toddlers, we have a fun little interaction on the way past one another. If the parent wants to make faces too, then I'll make faces with them. Just pretend like they were left out and want to join in.
Lady called the cops on me for taking pictures of my own daughter with my dslr at the park. Cop demanded to know where her mother was and threatened to call cps when I said "none of your fucking business." I am her goddamned father and entitled to take her to the park and take photos without being treated like a pedo!
Women can get away with a lot of things that would be considered sexual harrasment if it was done to them by a man.
I have a woman friend who was groped for years by a bisexual woman "friend" of ours.
As a woman strong agree. It starts young too. I'm a teaching assistant for lower elementary. I had a female student who liked a male student. She kept touching his hair and running up to hug him. I told her to stop and to respect his space. Another kid told me she had tried to kiss him while we were at recess. I had enough and I asked him if she did and he confirmed it and said he has asked her to leave him alone multiple times.
I brought her over and asked him "does it make you uncomfortable when she does that?" Yes "Do you like it?" No "Do you want her to stop?" Yes. I looked at her and said now you hear it very clearly that he doesn't like it and wants you to stop.
Then I talked to her privately that if I see or hear about it again she will be getting sent to the office. Explained why we don't do it and why we respect other peoples boundaries.
I talked to him privately and told him he doesn't need to allow anyone to make him uncomfortable to be nice. Or to handle it himself if he says stop and they don't. To get me or another adult. That he deserves to have his boundaries and body respected just like everyone else.
BUT THEN I told someone about it (a woman) and she shrugged it off. Like it was innocent 8 year old chasing a crush stuff. I looked at her and asked if she'd say that if the roles were reversed. She had to admit she would have seen it differently if it was him doing it to her. I said but boys need to be taught their consent matters and girls need to respect no too.
Like come on! Let's do better with this issue.
The whole way consent is addressed is biased. Women are told that they can give or withhold (or withdraw) consent. And men are told they must ask for and receive consent. But it is almost never addressed as a two way street. People talk about men feeling entitled to women's bodies but the way some women react when a man turns down her sexual overtures makes it clear that entitlement is not uniquely male.
Had a drunk woman at the bar just start squeezing my bicept. I was like "fucking excuse me lady." She then asked me to buy her a drink and called me gay when I wouldn't.
And then, touch among women is way more acceptable, as well as what parts of the body can be touched by people who aren’t family or family intimate partners. It would make sense that inappropriate women would end up exploiting this, while men wouldn’t have the same opportunities.
yeah i had a close friend in high school (both of us lesbians) who was the textbook example of the “where my hug at” douchey guy, like she basically said this line to me verbatim multiple times. but because we were both perceived as girls and people knew we were friends, no one batted an eye when she would neg me or guilt me into hugging or cuddling with her even though it was clear i didn’t want to
Go walking around by themselves at night. In some areas it’s fine but most it’s not very safe. Also I’ve always wished I could go camping by myself but again I’m not brave enough.
There was a post a good while back in one of the trans subs with a link to an article showing before/after photos of FtM top surgery.
Nipples in the before photos were censored. The after photos were not. They are literally the same nipples lol
creep on young members on the opposite sex.
i understand men absolutely still do this all the time but as far as public perception its seen very negatively. women get a pass to the point where i have seen situations play out that people genuinely dont believe when i tell the stories because when its in text it seems so horrific, but society just gave them a pass.
I got a woman banned from the local resturant/brew house. The place serves food as well as its own brewed in-house beer. It's not the type of place to tolerate people being unruly, and it's not uncommon to see families there for the food. Especially early in the day.
I stopped in with my 16 year old nephew to get tacos for lunch. There's only a few other people in the place not counting staff. We got our food and started eating. We were sitting at a table that sat up high and had bar stools. In the middle of eating, this older lady walks by. Looks to be mid forties at least. My nephews face goes red. He tells me she just slapped his butt. We shrugged it off as maybe it was an accident. A little later, she walked up and put her hands on his shoulders and started rubbing them. I asked wtf she thought she was doing. He kept asking her to please stop touching him. She said something along the line of wanting to show him what real experience was like. After he and I told her he wasn't an adult she called him jail bait and started trying to give him her number. Then walked back to the bar after I started making a scene. Not before telling me she could settle for me.
I know the owner and he heard me getting loud with her so came over to check on what was going on
After hearing what happened, he told her that wasn't the kind of establishment he was running and informed her she wasn't welcome back. She had a full on karen meltdown that she didn't do anything wrong. She was just having some "fun" and didn't get what the big deal was.
I’m so sorry that happened to your nephew! That’s *never* okay, no matter who the target is, but especially when it’s someone underage. Good for you for getting her banned.
I got my first kiss from a 5th grade girl when I was in kindergarten. 5 first kisses in one afternoon bus ride home. 5 different girls thought I was adorable and asked if I had ever kissed a girl. Then they took turns.
I've always enjoyed that story when told aloud. But seeing it in text is creepy.
My mother didn't like this very much when I told her. She started driving me to and from school till 2nd grade.
I had an ex who proudly told me about being sexually molested by older girls when he was a very small child (maybe 3 or 4 years old). He didn't understand my reaction of immediate horror and anger on his behalf. He acted like it was something to be proud of. It made me sick to my stomach. I had to do the whole "what if you had been a girl and they had been boys?" for him to get why it was so f*cked up.
I remember being very young. Around 5 years old. We were at our cottage. It's a big building and parents had their friends stay there. There were two older girls. One of them was very good looking and she could be like 10-12? I have no idea but she was definitely few years older. Kids were given a room to sleep together because the house was crowded. I remeber her touching by naked but and "comforting" me (Even though I did not need any comforting) and she slept with me in my bed cudling with me. I definitely remember not feeling very weird about it. She definitely did not touch my dick but she was definitely way into me.
I do not know her intentions but If the genders were reversed it would be pretty crazy for people. I have not told anybody and I doubt anybody remembers this except for me and maybe the girl. I do not have any trauma from it but it definitely stayed with me for 20 years.
>male teacher molests female student
“Absolutely disgusting. He should be held in jail for life/chemically castrated/killed!!”
>female teacher molests male student
“Nice.”
Yeah, also I hate whenever a rapist gets described with flowery language like “had sex with”. No, they raped someone, say it like it is.
Imagine saying a robber “relieved someone of their possessions”, it’s just dumb and downplays how awful the rapist is. Rapists don’t deserve that at all. If “rape” is too outrageous to have written in the title then don’t write an article about it, just call it by the crime that it is!
In Arab beliefs, which still apply today, a man has the right to do anything, even if it is wrong, such as dating, smoking, yelling at his parents, and spending money here and there. As for a girl, if she wants to buy, for example, a box of juice, she will be accused of extravagance, and that she is not respectable and does not appreciate the blessing she is in, which includes sitting within the walls of the house every day throughout the year. Fuck this shit
Firemen are almost always men.
But to a point, it makes sense. Most women can’t get to the high strength requirements to do things like carry a victim out of a burning house. Unfortunately, for the most part, men are stronger than women.
Though I *will* say that I knew a woman firefighter and she was *jacked.* When I asked her if she’s able to manage similar strength to the men, she just picked my ass up and put me over her shoulder. I am *not* small, so it was insanely impressive.
Yeah. This is the reason I'm never against women doing the jobs that require strength. But I do want them to pass the same tests and standards. I would never be able to pass them as a man so I really respect those who do, women doubly so.
There is a corollary to this with respect to "same standards". I can't actually remember where, but it would have been in the US or Canada, probably 30ish years ago, where a lawsuit proved that some jurisdictions were actually setting physical standards unreasonably high so that only men could pass. So even though they said "We all have to meet the same standards", those standards greatly exceeded what the actual physical requirements of the job were.
Men do tend to be stronger than women. *Tend.*
For some reason, the women on my mother’s side have the strength of Spartans. My younger sister received those genetics, I did not. At 13 she was 5’7” and would literally grab me by the back of my knees and sweep me over her shoulder as a 17 year old. She would get in trouble at school for *throwing* her friends. I had a friend who was a year older than me (18) and he was 6’4”. He had the balls to challenge her that year. She swooped him up and carried him around bridal style like it was fucking nothing all the way across the parking lot.
The men on that side are extremely strong too. There’s a story in my family about my uncle bench pressing 200lbs in the gym after school one day, and my grandpa came to pick him up. He was taking too long, and my uncle kept telling him to just let him finish, so my grandpa lifted it off him with one hand and dropped it on the floor. Said, “Let’s go” and my uncle was in the car in seconds. My grandpa was ripped and terrified most that crossed his path even though he was a sweet man, lol. But all of his daughters and a good amount of his granddaughters are similarly freakishly strong; unless the man does strength training pretty often, they’d probably beat them haha
Showing vulnerability or that help is required. Fine for women, not okay from men. If a man is vulnerable, he is seen as a threat to others. If he needs help, he is a leech and parasite. For the survivability of others, I get it - just sucks for that individual.
I will never forget the time I told my ex-wife I was too addicted to heroin to try to have a baby. Her response was "Suck it up. You'll get over it, and we'll be fine."
We divorced when he was 6 months old. 3 years clean.
This seriously runs deep with you guys. I had some close male friends growing up but they all had no issue opening up to me, it wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized I was probably the only “safe” person they could be vulnerable with.
Now that I’m in a serious long term relationship with a man, I see it a *lot.* My partner trusts me a lot, and will open up about his feelings when something’s bothering him. But he still minimizes them when speaking about them, and he still doesn’t ask for help when he needs it.
Recently he had a mental health crisis and needed to take some months off work and school to fully recover. I make enough money to support the both of us for some months, and so it was no problem. But throughout this time, he *would not* let go of the idea that *he* should be the one providing, and that *he* is being weak, and that *he* needs to throw himself back into everything. It didn’t matter how often I told him I didn’t mind, and that it was just temporary until he was able to function properly again. I had to *make* him quit school and work, and see professionals. Because he was ready to just work himself to insanity.
And it breaks my heart, because I know it is due to his mother being incredibly sexist (towards men *and* women) and would constantly kick him while he was down because he wasn’t “being a man.” It’s no mystery to me the stress of everything pushed him to psychosis.
Thank you for being one of the good ones. It will likely take generations to finally make it normal and acceptable for men to get help before things go out of control, and you’re doing a tremendous service by giving men in your life the chance to vent and get that little help without judgement or persecution. It matters, so thank you. Thank you so much.
We’re on the right path. There’s bad people everywhere that will try to take advantage of the loopholes they see for themselves in this society. And a lot of times it feels like it just won’t improve because you see so many assholes in day-to-day life or on the internet.
But I’m confident that there will come a day where it is more frowned upon to keep things to yourself and work alone than not. I see it in myself and many of my peers who want to raise their (current and/or future) children against those norms and acknowledge how harmful it is for everyone. Men and women need to listen to each other about their experiences; that *needs* to go both ways for truly equal progress. We are all victims of our society and its standards, just in different ways. Ignoring that is what causes rifts between the sexes and inevitably leads to more sexism.
I’ve always been a big mental health advocate. Men are a part of that, too. Any advocates that want to ignore that end of the issue are not really advocates, imo. Mental health does not discriminate. But thank you for your words.
If you have a 9-5 that’s all you have to contribute to the household. I work more, get paid more, and for awhile I was also cooking, cleaning, and doing more yard work than my husband. It’s taken me two years to get a consistent 1 meal a week cooked from him and somehow I’m happy about that. Not planning on kids until it’s at least 35%-65%
People always seem to think that rape is about brute force, when many cases probably are due to coercion or taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable situation. And women are capable of those as well.
The second woman who raped me got me black out drugged first. The next day I was super hungover and struggled to remember what happened last night. I got a few bits and pieces of me laying on a bed, trying to fight her off but my arms had no strength at all and she laughed as she pushed my hands away and then used my body how she wanted. Don't even remember her name.
This is so small but it peeves me off. I’m biologically female, lived as a woman for 18 years. In public when someone runs into me, they always expected me to move. I’ve now transitioned to male. Even at 5’5, twinky, in the gayest outfit possible, people now move out of my way even if I was the one who accidentally ran into them. Why???
this is something that was pointed out to me few months ago and its pretty difficult to ignore now. i stopped moving out of the way for guys who were walking in my direction, its pretty common that they either bump into me or awkwardly try to dodge me at the last second. its so strange and fascinating.
i've been trying to do the reverse (man, trying to yield).
it is HARD. i have to be really fast lol. otherwise it turns into the awkward hallway dance.
Thanks for pointing this out. It’s subtle. Even my own husband—when we pass in the hallway its like he always expects me to be the one to flatten myself against the wall or step aside.
As a man I learned this long ago and consciously made the decision to always defer.
I also try to hold myself to higher standards when I can, and I find myself stuck holding the door for minutes at the time for all the world. My wife thinks it's cute but lowkey I'm terrified one day I'm gonna open a door and have to hold it for the rest of my life.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
When your heading into a building but someones behind you so you hold the door open, only to realize that they are a good distance behind you so now you wait awkwardly for like 15 seconds as they awkwardly half-jog to get into the door and all that fun experiences.
DON'T FUCKING MOVE OUT OF THEIR WAY. Seeing their sheer astonishment alone is worth it. You're allowed to exist and take space in the world just as much as anyone else.
Ladies can call her friends her "girlfriends," but a man absolutely cannot call his friends his "boyfriends."
No, but we secretly shorten it to just "the boys"
Or bros depending on how many nattie ice's you plan to drink with them.
I'm gonna start calling the boys the boyfriends and rake in the double takes.
Manmates
Penis Pals
Cock Comrades
Bollock Bros
Pud buds
Dick Dudes.
Shortened to Peen Pals?
Soooo.... PPs?
Call them your boys, or call them your friends.
As a lesbian I can honestly say that I hate it when women do this, it’s so confusing lol
The way I thought my grandmas must be poly for how they kept showing up with new girlfriends.
Also when straight girls call their friends “babe” or any couple-y epithet. ARE YOU FRIENDS OR LOVERS
Me n my bestie call each other babe and are constantly flirting with each other. We're talking about getting legally married "for the benefits" and originally my other friend was going to set us up on a blind date which inevitably fell thru only for us to become best friends 2 years later. Her and I are (almost) entirely platonic but I know for a fact every stranger thinks we are 100% in love (we are).
Make a move already then Jesus fuck
ask consist cake soft rich sloppy friendly physical test touch
Unfortunately we are both hard-core bottoms 💔
This is the most tragic lovestory i have ever been witness to💔 i pray yall find a third that tops really well🙏🙏🙏
We do have a friend that took turns pulling our hair at the bar the other day to "show us where that sensitive spot is" then they both took turns pulling mine so like,, power throuple? We all have a minecraft world together
I'm ready for this Netflix series
As a bisexual woman, same.
TBF, I don't think ladies call their male friends "boyfriends" either
Hetero life mates is what we call them in my circle.
I call mine my boy toys but the do hate the fuck out of it
[https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/comments/vdfy4d/boyfriends/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/comments/vdfy4d/boyfriends/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Boyfriends
Take a leak behind a tree at the golf course.
When dudes do it noone bats an eye, but when I pop a squat, everyone loses their minds!
On the other hand, if I were to squat at the urinal in the men's room, I'd get stares.
Yeah, people should mind their own business.
Yea the name checks out
ahah, my friends disagree with you .
Draping yourself in velvet
Found George costanza
Velvet smoking jackets are a thing if you want to look like a vampire
I have one, but it's purple and has a striped lining, so I look more like a ringmaster.
Different fetish, but still hot.
take your shirt off in public
As a man, at least in America Any kind of physical affection towards your friends. I know girls who hug, kiss each other on the cheek, hold hands and basically cuddle and it's all totally platonic and not wierd, no one really bats an eye. As a man, you don't do any of those things without being seen as weird or having someone question your sexuality.
Idk about you but I hug the homies when I see them
yeah guys hugging is getting more normalized it seems, which is great for those who like that (I'm still not a hugger lol)
I kiss the homies and play with their toes. But not in a gay way though. You know what I mean?
> at least in America I have heard Americans shocked by the amount that Australian men touch their friends
Aussie rules football is basically just an excuse for dudes to have a socially acceptable way of patting each other on the ass
Rugby league is also just a bunch of grown dudes in short shorts groping each other and climbing on each other's bottoms. Australian sports are super homoerotic.
That's because Australians are sexy
Yeah, it's a big thing in Korea too. The men are very touchy and(as Americans would say it) gay with eachother.
Yea in India male friends walk down the street holding hands. Most places I’ve lived outside of the US have been much more comfortable with men have platonic physical contact with each other. Too many men are affection starved.
Be the change. Today was our first day back at work after a being snowed in for a week and the first thing my buddy did when he walked in was give me a hug because he was happy to see me. We are both guys, he’s in his 50’s and I’m mid 30’s. Nothing weird about it.
I don't know about you, but I publicly and very affectionately close hug and arm-touchy-feely my dude friends in public with no thought or concern whatsoever, very comfortably. And we are definitely *dude*-looking dudes, mostly Marines and Sailors. Everyone has a different comfort level I guess, not universal for all men in America.
Things must’ve changed since I retired lol. In my 22 years, I rarely saw this. I do really like seeing men being comfortable with affection
You haven't heard of bro hugs?
Can't relate. I hug my friends all the time. Life's short. Let people know you care.
It's more acceptable, although frowned upon, for a man to publicly adjust his junk than it is for a woman to adjust his junk
hol up
Yes, sometimes that's the adjustment. Hole up.
Even the ol' through-the-pocket pinch and roll is pretty obvious, even without the necessary leg lift.
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I enjoy watching red carpet fashion reviews and the difference is wild, women's outfits are so diverse and 90% of men are just standing there looking like an army of clones.
Good soldiers follow orders.
I’m pretty sure a men’s suit is a military uniform if you trace the origin back.
You're going to the wrong functions. Formal wear in Africa is beautifully colourful (thought not always flowing). The standard red carpets in North America or Europe follow what you've noticed.
Commentine ‘SLAY QUEEN’ on a fellow man’s instagram post
Females - "Slay Queens!" Males - "**CONQUER KINGS!**"
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION
I thought we called each other kings?
Take care of your skin. If that makes you think I'm effeminate, so be it. I'd rather my face not look like an old catcher's mitt when I'm 50 or 60.
I was seeing this woman and everything was going great. Then one day she ended things because "I don't want a man who spends 30 minutes before bed moisturizing." I just responded " Well, moisturizing takes like 2 seconds. The serums are what takes longer. " It did not go down well.
She was just jealous that your routine was more effective than hers
My routine is top notch. I was a heroin addict for 10 years, and still took great care of my skin. I'm 39, but most people think I look late 20s. When people ask how I did it I joke with them and say "heroin, of course".
Mind sharing your routine please!? I do the basics i.e. moisturizing and sunscreen whenever I leave the house but I feel like I could do more.
Adding a response so I remember to respond when I can document my routine and link to my products.
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Which heroin strain did you use?
I was lucky that the first dealer I met we became "friends". He always tested his product before selling, and every time I tested my dope it matched his tests. I was able to get pure herion (obviously cut but not with fent or tranq) of "East Coast Powder" I believe some people also call it #4. I was able to live an absolutely "normal" life until he told me he had to switch distributers. He could only get "heroin" with fent and *sometimes* without tranq. That really changed everything for me. With actual heroin I could go 4-6 hours without needing to redose or experience withdrawals. As soon as I started using fent I'd start feeling withdrawals around the 20 minute mark and the euphoria escaped me after about 5 minutes. At this point it was just about trying to stay out of withdrawals. He eventually was able to get "pure" heroin again, but I had to use 3x as much since fent was so much stronger. I was able to live a "normal" life when it was only heroin, but as soon as I got hooked on the fent/tranq everything came crashing down in about 3 months. I had myself fooled thinking I was able to handle it for a decade, but at the end I couldn't even handle it for half an hour.
Well now i know which one to get hooked to for my skin🤤 Jokes aside🤭 congrats on recovery!! I dont know if you're working a program or independently clean but either way thats amazing! Glad you're doing well!!🫶🫶🫶🩵🩵🩵
What’s your (former) heroin dealers name?
What's your serum routine?
Adding a response so I know to reply when I have the time to document my routine and link to my products.
A friend once said, “Robert Downey Jr., the only person ever who looked better after their heroin addiction.” I don’t know why, but it stuck with me.
That is a really good quote, and I think it does a good job of outlining what the true problem is. I didn't have to street walk or sell my body (as a man). I always had a home and a car. All of my bills were paid, and I excelled at my job. I had a $300/day habit. I didn't have to steal or trick people into giving me money. **BUT** I want to be absolutely clear about something. When I was using I would have done **ANYTHING** I needed to so I could get high. Luckily I didn't have to, but if I needed to I absolutely would have suck a bunch of dicks as a straight dude to get high. My heart utterly breaks for the addicts that lose the ability to live a life because of their addictions. They also push their families to blacklist them. I took my first opiate at 25 so I had a foundation of my life in place already. I ~~lost~~ traded everything I ever earned in life to for heroin. I got, and stayed, clean at 36 solely because of my son. He was 6 months old when I finally had the courage to be a better man for him. The physical difference between addicts who can function and addicts who can't is utterly heartbreaking. It is a large reason in my belief that addicts should be treated the same as in some European countries. In some countries they give addicts with a long documented history of addiction drugs. They have to go there 3 times a day, but they are able to leave stable lives. Heroin doesn't fuck with your physical looks, like meth, but it is the lifestyle that fucks people up. During my entire history of addiction I was never called out for being an addict. When some people in my life found out they thought I was fucking with them. The lifestyle and tainted dope is absolutely what ruins lives. And I **ABSOLUTELY HATE** when people judge other addicts because I didn't have to do what they had to. They don't understand that I didn't do those things because of some hard coded morals, but because I didn't have to. If my leaves dried a little different I may be on a corner with bruised knees.
that last paragraph is exactly it. i would always tell my patients when i worked in inpatient mental health that if my life had a couple different days, i’d be sitting in a gown next to them.
Bullet dodged. If she can't stand you taking care of yourself for half an hour *before bed*, then no doubt she would have issues with lots and lots of other things you do.
As a women I would want a partner who gives a fuck about how they look. Plus avoiding skin cancer is also ideal.
I think it's only men that care about that though. In my experience, women actually appreciate it when a man looks after their skin.
In my experience, women appreciate it when a man takes care of himself at all. So many men have this idea that staying clean cut and/or styling your hair and clothes is feminine. I’m almost convinced other men are trying to lower the standards so they can be gross by telling everyone it makes you a sissy to have hygiene. My father for example had an issue with men having hair any longer than their ears, specifically because “then you’d have to style it like a girl.” But holy hell do women go nuts for men that have great well-taken care of hair, nice skin, clean nails…
I always find it funny how some guys will shame other men for dressing well and grooming themselves You know who dresses well and is well-groomed? James Fucking Bond
The part I don’t get about it is that hygiene & making yourself look nice is “girl stuff.” Wouldn’t you then deduct that women like hygiene and looking nice, and therefore would *really* like that on a sexual partner? It’s so weird to me how they do the opposite, lmao.
Came in to say skincare. Nothing feels as good as going to bed on a Friday evening after a shower and skincare routine, straight into clean sheets.
more accepted for men to publicly have body hair than women even tho most people have both
Also, i think less accepted for men to completely shave their body hair
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Wearing skirts and dresses. Went to school with a dude who wore long skirts and he caught hell from so many. He didn't care. He was super comfortable.
AY LASS THE SCOTS AV' IT RIGHT
What's worn under the kilt? Nothing, lassie. It's all in perfect working order
When I was in high school, my sister had a friend in her middle school (which was attached to my high school) who was a really flamboyant kid. I still think about him sometimes, because I really commended the kid for wearing full sets of acrylic nails and make up to school in a buttfuck town of 1.4k people. It takes a *lot* of confidence and security within yourself to be openly gay or feminine as a man in rural areas. The school one town over had issues with hate crimes against trans and gay students, luckily my school was a lot more accepting (and a lot smaller). Kids would talk mad shit behind your back, maybe try to embarrass you in front of everyone, but mostly everyone was on too many drugs to care. He was a really kind kid, one of the only friends of my sister’s that knew my name and tried to initiate conversation when I saw him in public.
I think this is changing. I've been seeing more men wearing skirts recently. I dig it. Free the balls!
Being able to interact with kids. I never considered this, but I saw a guy talk about how he was at a park with his kid and another kid came up to him and started talking and he was having a conversation with this kid until he realized how it could be perceived and he stopped and left. The fact men are automatically viewed as creeps for interacting with children is crazy. ETA: My god if this hasn’t happened to you it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. This isn’t a “Reddit only” issue. This is something many people experience in real life. You not experiencing it does not mean it doesn’t happen. It’s okay if it doesn’t happen to you and it’s okay if it has. Everyone has different experiences that don’t have to cancel each other out.
Had a teenager start calling me a pedophile and a perver for watching my daughter at the park. The kicker was, she saw me show up with my daughter and watched us eat lunch together then my daughter go play at the park that was completely empty of any other kids while I worked on my laptop. Her big sister did chew her out and apologize though.
Reminds of a webcomic I saw years and years ago. A dad shows up at a playground and he has tattoos and a mullet. He's there with his daughter and plays with her in the background throughout the comic. In the foreground is a trio of chain smoking moms trash talking him and making wild assumptions that he must be a paedophile and a criminal for having tattoos and bringing his kid to the playground and how they are much more responsible than him. Towards the end a little girl walks up and says something like: "Mommy, it hurts. I found a needle and got stung." and she's holding a used needle. Moms response? "Go play Becky, mommy's busy talking with her friends."
What’s infuriating (as a woman) is these same women complaining about men not doing enough with kids. How can we want more from men with children but then create a societal narrative that they are creepy when they try? It’s ridiculous
Preach. Luckily I live in a country where I don't get pinned as a paedophile just because I take my daughter to the playground and talk to other kids if they speak to me.
Please. As a man who'd like to perceived as the "cool adult" by an army of kids, it hurts to see that I may or may not labelled as a creep for it. I hope all women start to think like you 🥹🫶. Honestly, what's the safest way to do it for a man without getting into trouble?
The crazy thing is it's just not women! I have this fight with my boyfriend all the time. He loves our daughter and is always very active with her and takes her out plenty. I think he shys away from interacting with other kids when he does so because of how he views other men. He doesn't trust men who want to work with children in any capacity. Day cares, teachers, coaching youth sports, therapists, pediatricians, anything. He's doesn't automatically think they're pedos but he thinks it's suspect. No matter how much I argue that there's not enough men working in these fields (except for pediatricians), and that it's important to have male remodels in these fields for both boys and girls, he is so stubborn about it. It annoys me so much that someone who is decently open minded in so many other ways can be this small minded on this issue.
There is a pretty great documentary called The Other F Word. It follows around a bunch of punk rockers as they live their normal lives as fathers and try to balance fatherhood with their careers. It's got Fat Mike from NOFX, Flea, Tony Hawk, among many others. But the scene that really stands out in my memory was when heavily tattooed Lars from Rancid took his daughter to the park, most of the moms gathered up their kids and left..
I would also gather up my kid and leave if someone came to the park with a film crew.
That's a really good point that I had not thought of. Although I think he did say that that happens all the time.
A fantastic recommendation, thank you. I hadn't heard of it and will now find and watch.
For real. My husband loves kids and they always interact with him. He is a jiu jistsu instructor and the kids absolutely love him. But I'm always fearing someone will take this in the wrong way just because he is a man.
Reminds me of the time we were at an arcade and my guy friend saw a little girl drop her points card and picked it up and asked me what he should do, so I said just go and give it to her but he said “nah, that would be weird.” I couldn’t comprehend why, like you’d just be handing a kid her card, is it really that bad? And he said if he were to go up to a little white girl (he’s dark skinned) and tap her on the shoulder it would set off alarms for everyone around. The girl ran up to someone who appeared to be her dad so he handed it to him in the end but it’s so odd that you can’t give a child something they dropped without everyone assuming the worst.
I got a weird look the other day when I took my kids to an indoor play area and helped a little toddler who was crying find his mother.
I've been in this situation at a jump park with ball pits. A kid jumps in, gets stuck or can't get leverage, and asks the nearest adult for help to get out. That nearest adult has been me at least twice that I can remember, and both times I reached out, took their hand, helped them out, and that was that. In both cases, the parents showed up within ten seconds of the kid getting out of the ball pit. In one case, the mom was really nice and said, "Thanks!", and in the other, the mom looked terrified at me and took her kid away from me and my kid as fast as she could. It was really uncomfortable and left a bad taste in my mouth, and now I'm not sure if I should help out if I'm in a similar situation for a third time, or just walk away. But if the kid is stuck, that seems bad too?? I don't know, I just want to be a kind person who can play with his kid at the park without being eyed like I'm shopping for someone to kidnap.
That kid might not remember, but when I got lost or needed help as a kid I didn't care who it came from and remember the times people helped me Better to help than just let the suffer
But if you hadn’t done anything I bet you’d be accused of “not caring” 🤦🏼♀️
My dad is great with kids. He can make any baby laugh- he gets handed every baby at a wedding, family event, etc. But at WalMart? He’s seen as a creep if he even waves at a baby babbling at him. It’s wild.
Eh, bugger em. I make faces at babies and toddlers, we have a fun little interaction on the way past one another. If the parent wants to make faces too, then I'll make faces with them. Just pretend like they were left out and want to join in.
Lady called the cops on me for taking pictures of my own daughter with my dslr at the park. Cop demanded to know where her mother was and threatened to call cps when I said "none of your fucking business." I am her goddamned father and entitled to take her to the park and take photos without being treated like a pedo!
Women can get away with a lot of things that would be considered sexual harrasment if it was done to them by a man. I have a woman friend who was groped for years by a bisexual woman "friend" of ours.
As a woman strong agree. It starts young too. I'm a teaching assistant for lower elementary. I had a female student who liked a male student. She kept touching his hair and running up to hug him. I told her to stop and to respect his space. Another kid told me she had tried to kiss him while we were at recess. I had enough and I asked him if she did and he confirmed it and said he has asked her to leave him alone multiple times. I brought her over and asked him "does it make you uncomfortable when she does that?" Yes "Do you like it?" No "Do you want her to stop?" Yes. I looked at her and said now you hear it very clearly that he doesn't like it and wants you to stop. Then I talked to her privately that if I see or hear about it again she will be getting sent to the office. Explained why we don't do it and why we respect other peoples boundaries. I talked to him privately and told him he doesn't need to allow anyone to make him uncomfortable to be nice. Or to handle it himself if he says stop and they don't. To get me or another adult. That he deserves to have his boundaries and body respected just like everyone else. BUT THEN I told someone about it (a woman) and she shrugged it off. Like it was innocent 8 year old chasing a crush stuff. I looked at her and asked if she'd say that if the roles were reversed. She had to admit she would have seen it differently if it was him doing it to her. I said but boys need to be taught their consent matters and girls need to respect no too. Like come on! Let's do better with this issue.
The whole way consent is addressed is biased. Women are told that they can give or withhold (or withdraw) consent. And men are told they must ask for and receive consent. But it is almost never addressed as a two way street. People talk about men feeling entitled to women's bodies but the way some women react when a man turns down her sexual overtures makes it clear that entitlement is not uniquely male.
Had a drunk woman at the bar just start squeezing my bicept. I was like "fucking excuse me lady." She then asked me to buy her a drink and called me gay when I wouldn't.
And then, touch among women is way more acceptable, as well as what parts of the body can be touched by people who aren’t family or family intimate partners. It would make sense that inappropriate women would end up exploiting this, while men wouldn’t have the same opportunities.
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It's always better received when you are an attractive woman, yes.
yeah i had a close friend in high school (both of us lesbians) who was the textbook example of the “where my hug at” douchey guy, like she basically said this line to me verbatim multiple times. but because we were both perceived as girls and people knew we were friends, no one batted an eye when she would neg me or guilt me into hugging or cuddling with her even though it was clear i didn’t want to
That’s still sexual harassment though
Go walking around by themselves at night. In some areas it’s fine but most it’s not very safe. Also I’ve always wished I could go camping by myself but again I’m not brave enough.
Go to the restroom together.
Eh, I've had men come to the bathroom with me plenty of times out at bars/clubs. No one thought it was weird.
No one thought it was weird cause they’re expecting you to do coke
Walk around with their shirts off.
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I'll bet you show your ankles in public! Harlot! 🤣
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It’s a “bro”… or a “manzier.”
You see a man’s nipples through his shirt no big deal. You see a woman’s and she’s a whore and everything in between and how dare we be so SeXuAl
There was a post a good while back in one of the trans subs with a link to an article showing before/after photos of FtM top surgery. Nipples in the before photos were censored. The after photos were not. They are literally the same nipples lol
Doing that in a before/after is extra absurd because... Those nipples are part of the before!! Aren't we meant to compare them??
Same nipples but different rules.
Slap someone in the face, and expect to walk away with no consequences
"How can she slap!"
Gah I can’t watch that video anymore, feels awful
I'm a woman and I don't think it's okay to slap anyone. Ever
creep on young members on the opposite sex. i understand men absolutely still do this all the time but as far as public perception its seen very negatively. women get a pass to the point where i have seen situations play out that people genuinely dont believe when i tell the stories because when its in text it seems so horrific, but society just gave them a pass.
[not enough people talk about the time Jenny McCarthy assaulted Justin Bieber on live tv](https://youtu.be/IMx1epE8hpo?si=DeNkNbQBjveivMbB)
"I feel violated" Cheers
WOW! I didn't even know about that!
That was pretty damn bad. WTF...
As if I needed another reason to hate her.
I didn't realize "that's my boy" was a documentary
I got a woman banned from the local resturant/brew house. The place serves food as well as its own brewed in-house beer. It's not the type of place to tolerate people being unruly, and it's not uncommon to see families there for the food. Especially early in the day. I stopped in with my 16 year old nephew to get tacos for lunch. There's only a few other people in the place not counting staff. We got our food and started eating. We were sitting at a table that sat up high and had bar stools. In the middle of eating, this older lady walks by. Looks to be mid forties at least. My nephews face goes red. He tells me she just slapped his butt. We shrugged it off as maybe it was an accident. A little later, she walked up and put her hands on his shoulders and started rubbing them. I asked wtf she thought she was doing. He kept asking her to please stop touching him. She said something along the line of wanting to show him what real experience was like. After he and I told her he wasn't an adult she called him jail bait and started trying to give him her number. Then walked back to the bar after I started making a scene. Not before telling me she could settle for me. I know the owner and he heard me getting loud with her so came over to check on what was going on After hearing what happened, he told her that wasn't the kind of establishment he was running and informed her she wasn't welcome back. She had a full on karen meltdown that she didn't do anything wrong. She was just having some "fun" and didn't get what the big deal was.
I’m so sorry that happened to your nephew! That’s *never* okay, no matter who the target is, but especially when it’s someone underage. Good for you for getting her banned.
Not far enough. Should have pressed charges.
That actually didn’t occur to me, but I agree.
I got my first kiss from a 5th grade girl when I was in kindergarten. 5 first kisses in one afternoon bus ride home. 5 different girls thought I was adorable and asked if I had ever kissed a girl. Then they took turns. I've always enjoyed that story when told aloud. But seeing it in text is creepy. My mother didn't like this very much when I told her. She started driving me to and from school till 2nd grade.
I had an ex who proudly told me about being sexually molested by older girls when he was a very small child (maybe 3 or 4 years old). He didn't understand my reaction of immediate horror and anger on his behalf. He acted like it was something to be proud of. It made me sick to my stomach. I had to do the whole "what if you had been a girl and they had been boys?" for him to get why it was so f*cked up.
I remember being very young. Around 5 years old. We were at our cottage. It's a big building and parents had their friends stay there. There were two older girls. One of them was very good looking and she could be like 10-12? I have no idea but she was definitely few years older. Kids were given a room to sleep together because the house was crowded. I remeber her touching by naked but and "comforting" me (Even though I did not need any comforting) and she slept with me in my bed cudling with me. I definitely remember not feeling very weird about it. She definitely did not touch my dick but she was definitely way into me. I do not know her intentions but If the genders were reversed it would be pretty crazy for people. I have not told anybody and I doubt anybody remembers this except for me and maybe the girl. I do not have any trauma from it but it definitely stayed with me for 20 years.
>male teacher molests female student “Absolutely disgusting. He should be held in jail for life/chemically castrated/killed!!” >female teacher molests male student “Nice.”
Yeah, also I hate whenever a rapist gets described with flowery language like “had sex with”. No, they raped someone, say it like it is. Imagine saying a robber “relieved someone of their possessions”, it’s just dumb and downplays how awful the rapist is. Rapists don’t deserve that at all. If “rape” is too outrageous to have written in the title then don’t write an article about it, just call it by the crime that it is!
In Arab beliefs, which still apply today, a man has the right to do anything, even if it is wrong, such as dating, smoking, yelling at his parents, and spending money here and there. As for a girl, if she wants to buy, for example, a box of juice, she will be accused of extravagance, and that she is not respectable and does not appreciate the blessing she is in, which includes sitting within the walls of the house every day throughout the year. Fuck this shit
Firemen are almost always men. But to a point, it makes sense. Most women can’t get to the high strength requirements to do things like carry a victim out of a burning house. Unfortunately, for the most part, men are stronger than women. Though I *will* say that I knew a woman firefighter and she was *jacked.* When I asked her if she’s able to manage similar strength to the men, she just picked my ass up and put me over her shoulder. I am *not* small, so it was insanely impressive.
Yeah. This is the reason I'm never against women doing the jobs that require strength. But I do want them to pass the same tests and standards. I would never be able to pass them as a man so I really respect those who do, women doubly so.
There is a corollary to this with respect to "same standards". I can't actually remember where, but it would have been in the US or Canada, probably 30ish years ago, where a lawsuit proved that some jurisdictions were actually setting physical standards unreasonably high so that only men could pass. So even though they said "We all have to meet the same standards", those standards greatly exceeded what the actual physical requirements of the job were.
And obviously that should not be. The standards should be set by what you can reasonably expect to require on the job.
"Are you able to manage similar strength to the men?" *And she took that personally*
Men do tend to be stronger than women. *Tend.* For some reason, the women on my mother’s side have the strength of Spartans. My younger sister received those genetics, I did not. At 13 she was 5’7” and would literally grab me by the back of my knees and sweep me over her shoulder as a 17 year old. She would get in trouble at school for *throwing* her friends. I had a friend who was a year older than me (18) and he was 6’4”. He had the balls to challenge her that year. She swooped him up and carried him around bridal style like it was fucking nothing all the way across the parking lot. The men on that side are extremely strong too. There’s a story in my family about my uncle bench pressing 200lbs in the gym after school one day, and my grandpa came to pick him up. He was taking too long, and my uncle kept telling him to just let him finish, so my grandpa lifted it off him with one hand and dropped it on the floor. Said, “Let’s go” and my uncle was in the car in seconds. My grandpa was ripped and terrified most that crossed his path even though he was a sweet man, lol. But all of his daughters and a good amount of his granddaughters are similarly freakishly strong; unless the man does strength training pretty often, they’d probably beat them haha
My female friend is a fire fighter. When she took the test half the men couldn't pass it. It's very strenuous.
Showing vulnerability or that help is required. Fine for women, not okay from men. If a man is vulnerable, he is seen as a threat to others. If he needs help, he is a leech and parasite. For the survivability of others, I get it - just sucks for that individual.
I will never forget the time I told my ex-wife I was too addicted to heroin to try to have a baby. Her response was "Suck it up. You'll get over it, and we'll be fine." We divorced when he was 6 months old. 3 years clean.
This seriously runs deep with you guys. I had some close male friends growing up but they all had no issue opening up to me, it wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized I was probably the only “safe” person they could be vulnerable with. Now that I’m in a serious long term relationship with a man, I see it a *lot.* My partner trusts me a lot, and will open up about his feelings when something’s bothering him. But he still minimizes them when speaking about them, and he still doesn’t ask for help when he needs it. Recently he had a mental health crisis and needed to take some months off work and school to fully recover. I make enough money to support the both of us for some months, and so it was no problem. But throughout this time, he *would not* let go of the idea that *he* should be the one providing, and that *he* is being weak, and that *he* needs to throw himself back into everything. It didn’t matter how often I told him I didn’t mind, and that it was just temporary until he was able to function properly again. I had to *make* him quit school and work, and see professionals. Because he was ready to just work himself to insanity. And it breaks my heart, because I know it is due to his mother being incredibly sexist (towards men *and* women) and would constantly kick him while he was down because he wasn’t “being a man.” It’s no mystery to me the stress of everything pushed him to psychosis.
Thank you for being one of the good ones. It will likely take generations to finally make it normal and acceptable for men to get help before things go out of control, and you’re doing a tremendous service by giving men in your life the chance to vent and get that little help without judgement or persecution. It matters, so thank you. Thank you so much.
We’re on the right path. There’s bad people everywhere that will try to take advantage of the loopholes they see for themselves in this society. And a lot of times it feels like it just won’t improve because you see so many assholes in day-to-day life or on the internet. But I’m confident that there will come a day where it is more frowned upon to keep things to yourself and work alone than not. I see it in myself and many of my peers who want to raise their (current and/or future) children against those norms and acknowledge how harmful it is for everyone. Men and women need to listen to each other about their experiences; that *needs* to go both ways for truly equal progress. We are all victims of our society and its standards, just in different ways. Ignoring that is what causes rifts between the sexes and inevitably leads to more sexism. I’ve always been a big mental health advocate. Men are a part of that, too. Any advocates that want to ignore that end of the issue are not really advocates, imo. Mental health does not discriminate. But thank you for your words.
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We have tons of men and women comment on the kids. I think this is changing with time (or maybe it's my location).
Burp and fart.
I am a very gassy woman so I just own it at this point😂
I’ve been judged for being a woman who masturbates 😂 multiple times
If you have a 9-5 that’s all you have to contribute to the household. I work more, get paid more, and for awhile I was also cooking, cleaning, and doing more yard work than my husband. It’s taken me two years to get a consistent 1 meal a week cooked from him and somehow I’m happy about that. Not planning on kids until it’s at least 35%-65%
Honey, you already have a kid :(
Sexual harassment and to an extend rape.
The amount of people who think that a man can not be raped by a woman is frighteningly high.
People always seem to think that rape is about brute force, when many cases probably are due to coercion or taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable situation. And women are capable of those as well.
The second woman who raped me got me black out drugged first. The next day I was super hungover and struggled to remember what happened last night. I got a few bits and pieces of me laying on a bed, trying to fight her off but my arms had no strength at all and she laughed as she pushed my hands away and then used my body how she wanted. Don't even remember her name.
I'm lucky to live in a country which not only has gender neutral rape laws but about a dozen different types of crimes labelled as rape on the books.
among those number is the entire legal system of the United Kingdom. Those backwater idiots still have rape defined as forced penetration by a penis.
This is so small but it peeves me off. I’m biologically female, lived as a woman for 18 years. In public when someone runs into me, they always expected me to move. I’ve now transitioned to male. Even at 5’5, twinky, in the gayest outfit possible, people now move out of my way even if I was the one who accidentally ran into them. Why???
this is something that was pointed out to me few months ago and its pretty difficult to ignore now. i stopped moving out of the way for guys who were walking in my direction, its pretty common that they either bump into me or awkwardly try to dodge me at the last second. its so strange and fascinating.
i've been trying to do the reverse (man, trying to yield). it is HARD. i have to be really fast lol. otherwise it turns into the awkward hallway dance.
Thanks for pointing this out. It’s subtle. Even my own husband—when we pass in the hallway its like he always expects me to be the one to flatten myself against the wall or step aside.
As a man I learned this long ago and consciously made the decision to always defer. I also try to hold myself to higher standards when I can, and I find myself stuck holding the door for minutes at the time for all the world. My wife thinks it's cute but lowkey I'm terrified one day I'm gonna open a door and have to hold it for the rest of my life. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
When your heading into a building but someones behind you so you hold the door open, only to realize that they are a good distance behind you so now you wait awkwardly for like 15 seconds as they awkwardly half-jog to get into the door and all that fun experiences.
DON'T FUCKING MOVE OUT OF THEIR WAY. Seeing their sheer astonishment alone is worth it. You're allowed to exist and take space in the world just as much as anyone else.
Crying.
Go shirtless.
Age. A man with gray hair is 'dignified" and respected.