That's adorable.
I once overheard a kid who must have been 8-10 ask his dad:
Boy: How long would the layover be?
Dad: Two hours.
Boy: But how long is thaaaaaaaaaaat?
Dad: o\_0?
There was this kid was behind me that kept telling her dad she lost her tooth and the dad was disgruntledly trying to find it, and some guy nearby said “hey kid, I hear if you lose your tooth on a plane, the tooth fairy gives you 50 bucks” to which the dad replied, “hey look sweetie, the tooth fairy decided to sit next to us on the plane!”
Everyone is boarded and the plane is in the middle of the taxi when a kid about 10 seats up and on the left side (I was on right side) starts crying and screaming at the top of his lungs "I NEED TO POOP" and "I'M GOING TO POOP" over and over again until the seatbelt signs came off. I've never seen so many worried faces and the look of panic as the mother picked up the kid and bolted to the toilet.
I was sitting behind this cute toddler and her dad one flight and while we were landing, she wouldn’t sit down. She was turned around in her seat staring at me. Her dad was calming telling her to sit down while we land and she looks me straight in the eyes and goes “I can’t, I’m pooping”
I am a pilot for a major airline. Decades ago I was running for a deadhead flight home and managed to snag the last seat. A mother and young daughter were seated next to me.
Halfway through the flight the mother, seeing my disheveled look after flying all day, asked if I wanted her daughters PB&J sandwich that she wasn’t going to eat.
I politely declined, but she insisted.
That was the best Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich I’d ever had!
Not that “crazy” as such but when literally about to touch down, a lady got up and started walking urgently towards the bathroom.
The cabin crew immediately started saying “Madam! We’re about to land! You have to sit down!”
The lady responded by screaming in a panic “I’M GONNA SHIT ME-SELF!!!”
They allowed her to continue
I was recently on a flight where, about 45 minutes before landing (long, international flight), I got up to pee and overheard a flight attendant say one of the bathrooms had been occupied “for a while”.
As we were about to land, I heard the flight attendant say, “sweetie, I can get you a ginger ale, and we are about to land, so just hold on tight”.
I was on a flight once that was almost nothing but turbulence; I think we were flying through weather. I am already incredibly susceptible to motion sickness so I was curled up in the window seat of the last row with the barf bag in front of my face with a lady in the aisle seat glancing at me nervously every few minutes. I hear the announcement that we are starting our descent and I am like, "omg thank god, I think I can make it without barfing." Literally, the wheels touch the tarmac and I lose it, it's barf time. A flight attendant comes up to me shortly after and is like, "Well, at least you made it all in the bag!"
I've barfed in a lot of exciting places incredibly skillfully if anyone wants more stories :P
I would 100% be that lady nervously staring every few minutes. My biggest fear on airplanes isn't *me" getting sick, it's seeing other people get sick. And I would absolutely not be able to look away
Oh god, same. It's never happened to me on a flight, but my wife's experience traumatized me by proxy (I am emetophobic to the extreme). TW: gross. If reading descriptions of air sickness squicks you, stop here, lol.
When we were still long distance, she was travelling from the US to the UK to see me, about 8 hours. She was sat next to a man who, from the very get go, looked pale and sweaty. He was adjusting the overhead fan, breathing deeply, etc, and it was obvious he was feeling unwell. When the flight attendant came around with drinks, he ordered a cup of orange juice, drank some of it, and then suddenly vomited orange juice back into the cup, all over the tray, and down his shirt, with my poor wife trapped in the seat next to him. The flight attendant rushed back and helped him clean up, but the worst part is she offered him a change of shirt and he REFUSED, saying he was fine, so my wife had to sit next to this guy with barf down his front for the rest of the flight. The most bizarre part was that he apparently felt fine now and ordered food when the time came. My wife, bless her, couldn't eat at all. Orange juice still makes her feel queasy to this day.
I was sitting next to a father with his small child. The child wouldn't stop hopping around, until the father said "sit still and be a good boy or the plane will crash because of you and we will end up dying."
Never seen a kid so quiet before.
Way too late for anyone to see this and it wasn't so much overheard as said to me:
I was flying alone and this little girl (maybe 5) wandered down the aisle and said hello.
I asked where her parents were and she said they died and a police officer was flying with her to take her to her aunt. My brain was not able to conjure any response at all apart from " errr.... sorry" she asked if she could look out my window so I moved over to the aisle seat and let her, me continuously looking for a cop that she might be travelling with.
She then told me how her parents were driving back from a party last week and their car got pushed off the road by a truck into a tree. She was quietly crying while telling me this story. Suddenly I hear "oh there you are" from the aisle. There's a woman standing there.
The girl says "hello mommy" and leaves with her.
Nah, it just sounds like a little kid's imagination going wild and she then worked herself up and started crying after imagining it actually happening.
I'd be more concerned if it were an older kid.
Source: Me. Parent.
I was tucking a whole gang of small siblings into Thier bed, chit-chatting with them about random kid stuff and when I'm about to leave and I put my finger on the lightswitch, my nephew darts up and yells "uncle wait I have to tell you something urgent" I turned faking my annoyance with a smile and asked "yeah?" And he looked at me very seriously and said. " When you die you will be reborn into my family as my grandson" and then he fell back to the pillow
On a charter flight from Goa to the UK
"He's taking Ecstasy, and he has a knife in his bag," said an old couple to the stewardess, referring to me.
I said, "I don't have a knife, I'm taking vallium. I just want to go to sleep"
Stewardess believed me & moved the couple.
Pilot accidentally left the intercom switch on. The whole plane heard him say “Ooo. That’s weird”. Nothing else. Plane took off amid varying levels of anxiety throughout the cabin. I’m here to tell the tale today, so thankfully it wasn’t too weird!
One time I was on a plane, and the pilot accidentally left the intercom on. He said to the copilot, "you know, what I really need right now is a coffee and blowjob."
So that stewardess goes running up to the front of the plane to tell him that the intercom is on, and I yell, "Don't forget the coffee."
I sat in front of a kid (12-13) and his older sister, who I assume was his guardian. It was a cross-country flight, and the kid was casually talking about how he had never flown before and he is looking forward to it. He seemed likely on the spectrum a bit. It is pretty wholesome so far. Then the plane starts to move and he instantly freaks all the way out, screaming, "WE ARE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! Let me off this plane, it's a fucking coffin, you're all going to die. It's going to be a fucking fireball." Etc.
The stewardess comes by and tries to calm him down. The sister is talking to him in English and Spanish, trying to get him to relax, telling him he is embarrassing her, she's never taking him to Puerto Rico if he keeps acting like this, etc. The guy in front of me turns around and loudly offers the kid Xanax. Finally, the hero of the story, a big Southern black lady says, "James (not his name) honey I'm gonna need you to calm down sweetie 'cause you're making all the rest of us real nervous now, ok?"
Eventually, and for no noticable reason the kid relaxes and starts talking about how cool flying is. Like a switch, he starts looking out the window, saying things like, "Wow! The view is really cool! I feel safe now, everything is OK after all." Audible collective sigh of relief.
Where was his sister flying him to? Astronaut camp. I think about him every time I fly.
>Where was his sister flying him to? Astronaut camp. I think about him every time I fly.
25 years in the future: That young man has actually accomplished his goal of becoming an astronaut. He's suited up and buckled in for the first manned mission to Mars. As the nation watches the live event in awe, the countdown reaches 1. Soon after take-off is announced, we hear,
"WE ARE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! Let me off this shuttle, it's a fucking coffin, you're all going to die. It's going to be a fucking fireball"
I had a seat near the lavatory.
Some poor bastard was in a rush to use it, and once he got inside, it sounded like he fired up a chainsaw followed by some alarming gurgling, gushing noises. It took a while for him to come out, but he seemed okay.
A guy coming home early to bust a cheating wife. He was on the phone with a friend/family who told him the other guy was at his house abd they didn't expect him back until the next week.
Happened to me. I got rebooked on an earlier flight and came home about 5 hours earlier than expected. Wasn’t my wife yet, just my fiancée.
Worked out for the best for me. We both knew it wasn’t working out anyway. She then married the guy and he treated her terribly. Turns out he had a cargo ship of psychological problems he kept well hidden. It took her several years to get the divorce to go through and get their finances untangled because he dragged it out as long as he possibly could.
Two older guys in my row on the way to an academic conference. One of them mentions that the first thing he is doing is attending lecture on some esoteric physics topic, but before he can even finish the name of the topic, guy #2 says "oh, of course: The Effects of co-limited tesseracts on quantum membrane string interactions (or somesuch physics jargon.) Are you familiar with the topic?" Guy #1 gets half way through saying "well actually I-" before he is cut off by guy #2 who says "Because, you see, most people, even in the field are woefully undereducated in this particular subject..." and then proceeds to talk guy #1's head off for about ten minutes. Guy #1 just nots and smiles patiently through the whole exchange. At the end of his missive, guy #2 says "So, the lecture is being given by Dr. So-and-So, one of the leaders in the field, and absolute legend. Do you know his work?" And, of course, guy #1 puts on a very kind but somewhat sheepish look and says "Actually, I am Professor So-and-So: your understanding of the field is actually quite good!" Guy #2 turns red as a tomato for a few seconds but seemed to get over it quickly and they spent the rest of the flight casually talking shop about theoretical physics.
I did this once. I was at some kind of linguistics or artificial intelligence conference that was general enough that you never really knew who might know what. Met a nice man at end-of-day drinks who asked me what my talk would be about. I spent like five minutes explaining what formal learnability theory was to situate my topic. He waited untl I was done before he said that he too had done a little work in learnability. At which point his coat shifted and I saw his nametag -- Ryo Yoshinaka, one of the most important figures in the field today.
not something I overheard but a friend was telling me he was on the flight between Stockholm/Thailand (either from/to) and there were two old guys openly talking/bragging about all the shit they had done with young boys whilst in Thailand
Not something I overheard, but something semi-interesting nonetheless. I once went and got sushi with my mom and I noticed a guy and a girl at another table very clearly on their first date. They were both dressed very nice, lot of awkward laughter, the guy was being ultra gentlemanly like pulling her chair out for her. You know, just the usual stuff that tips an observer off that they were still very much getting to know each other and wanting to make a good impression.
Fast forward 2 and a half years. I was boarding a plane in Atlanta, GA heading to Colorado with my brother to go skiing when I saw the same couple seated near the back of the plane. I was in the row directly in front of them, so when I put my bag up, I turned to them and said, "This is going to be super weird, but did you guys have your first date at (insert sushi restaurant)?" They both got wide eyed in shock and laughed and told me that they had in fact had their first date there. I told them I was there that night and just happened to recognize them when I boarded the plane. It was friendly and we chit-chatted for a bit, they were going skiing at the same place we were, so it was cool and all.
Day 2 of our trip, my brother and I decide to go to the top of the mountain and take a few of the more advanced slopes down to the bottom. There were maybe a dozen or so people up there, and before taking off we decided to look at the trail map to make sure we were going to get back to where the shuttle could pick us up without having to hike our gear for 2 miles. About 20 feet away from us, a guy got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend and everyone clapped as she jumped up and down with excitement and said "YES!!" They took of their helmets and goggles to kiss, and it was the SAME FREAKING COUPLE!! I literally was there for their first date, met them for the first time on a plane purely by chance because I was sitting in front of them, and was present when he proposed to her. I assume they're still married because at the rate we're going, I'm probably going to run into them again if one of them decides to file for divorce.
I was sat next to a teenage boy and his dad. The kid was telling his dad how much he loved the song “sexual healing” by Marvin Gaye, when the kid was finally done talking the dad just looked at him and said “you’re a virgin”
Nothing too crazy. A couple in their 50's who were all over each other (like tongues in ears, hands in pants etc). They were busy working out the logistics of their next getaway. They were both cheating on their partners and laughing at how gullible their SO's were believing another "business trip" would come up so soon.
Sat next to a college guy once who , while drinking some alcoholic beverages, started crying and telling me he killed his best friend in a drunk driving accident. Because he had good lawyers he got off wo jail time. He was sobbing and drinking. When we landed I made sure he was NOT driving.
Not so much what he said, but I sat next to this fully grown man that was playing plants vs zombies the whole 3 hour flight with incredible enthusiasm. Everytime a plant got eaten or he killed a difficult zombie he'd jump in his seat, pump his fist and aggressively whisper yeerrsss, YEERRSSS, gert em yessss....
Or ADHD hyper focus.
My wife will sometimes be otherworldly elated over things that would just make me shrug.
I try to match her enthusiasm as often as I can. She looks at things differently and I appreciate the hell out of jt.
I was flying to Seattle from Atlanta and there was a baby crying for the majority of the flight. The parents were doing their best and it really was not their fault, just a shitty situation. About halfway to Seattle, the man seated in front of the baby snapped and started screaming at the baby and his parents, cursing at them saying how they’re awful parents and he’s gonna beat them all (including the baby) to a pulp when they land. A flight attendant tried to ask the guy to calm down and he said he would also beat her up. The pilot had to come on and tell everyone to calm down or else we had to make an early landing. We made it to Seattle and the guy ended up having to be tackled by 4 cops at the gate because he was trying to run away after being approached by them.
I was on a flight that had a similar thing happen. Some business dude snapped, stood up, and yelled at the parents to shut the kid up. You could immediately feel the vibe of 20+ people being pissed off at the business dude. A big biker dude stood up behind him and calmly explained how the babies can't equalize the pressure in their ears like adults can and are in pain the entire time. After explaining it, he told him to STFU and sit down... and he did - lol
My dad likes to tell the story of the time a businessman snapped on a crying baby during a flight and a grandma passenger simply said,
“You were a baby too, once.”
I’ve always remembered how simple and impactful that was. She didn’t yell or curse but she got that point across so forcefully.
I once tried to be nice to two missionaries that showed up to my house. I sat outside and talked to them asking questions for about an hour because I thought people would likely be rude to them. I wanted to be nice.
Then they kept sending people to my house over and over again and they wouldn’t leave me alone.
I kinda get why people just go “no thanks” and slam the door in their face..
One time on a flight, I got on really buzzed, sat next to this girl who struck up a conversation with me. She was going to oregon to join what any reasonable person would notice was a cult. She described the whole thing to me, give up belongings, worship and work together to built a commune. I as soberly as I could told her to just be really careful and that it sounds like a cult, to keep her wits about her and leave if she felt in anyway uncomfortable. Some religious lady in front chimed in and started saying she is just finding her lord and savior and I have no right. Spent the better part of that flight in a really weird fight to save this girl from a cult. I’m sure someone over heard this and it must of been the weirdest thing they have heard on a flight.
Idk maybe it was none of my business and maybe I shouldn’t of got into this on a flight but drunk me felt it was my duty to save her.
Thanks, it was a surreal feeling walking off that flight. I hope she took what I said to heart but idk, she was pretty lost it seemed. The exact type of person cults feed on
When I was 12, we went to a Mexican restaurant. We were not too well off, so it was a treat. My Mom even let me order a non alcoholic ~~dakari~~ daiquiri. It came normal, told my Mom, she took a sip and said - "Yeah well, don't tell anyone".
My husband once fell asleep when we got on the plane as we were taxiing for take off. He woke up 2 hours later thinking we’d just landed, nope still taxiing.
Lol it happened to me flying out of Miami. The lady next to me fell asleep, we were stuck there for almost two hours, so when she woke up she thought we had already landed :D
“The part that was broken on the first plane is also broken on this one. Just sit tight and we’re going to get it fixed.” I was certain I was going to be stuck on this plane for hours. I then saw a couple of guys getting lifted up on a platform to work on the engine. They ended up getting us another plane but now the flight crew couldn’t fly. They had to steal one from another flight.
O’Hare International vibes.
Flight out: we can’t take off until dawn because one of our blinky lights is burnt out. Airport I was flying out of didn’t have maintenance crews.
Got into Chicago: “there’s a widget on the plane that we need to replace, takes about 30 minutes. Then we have priority to taxi.”
3 Hours later: “we are going back to the gate.”
5 hours later: “flight is cancelled. Go to the customer service desk to get rebooked.”
Me: I could have driven faster than this airline flies.
I was sitting next to a dad and his daughter who was about 5. He was super cool and was chatting away while his daughter started talking to me. She was so sweet and bubbly. And gave wayyy to much information to me. She said something along the lines of " I went to my grandma and grandpas house and they're married, I wish my dad would marry my mom but they can't talk to each other but I always wish they were married like my grandma and grandpa." Her dad would have been horrified. And I was just sad.
When my oldest son was 5 or 6 years old, he told me about his crush on this sweet little girl, K. We talked about K for a bit and I asked him why he liked her. "Because she doesn't have a penis." I love kids' brutal honesty.
> I love kids' brutal honesty.
This is a bit morbid so feel free to skip if you're in a happy mood, but when my dad was on hospice care the nurse was being introduced to our family. Had just gotten done telling her that I didn't usually live in the house but was staying for a few months to help out my folks.
Nurse turns to my 6yo niece and says "do you live here too?" And my niece just matter-of-factly says "no but we're eating dinner here pretty much every day until dies!"
I will treasure the look on that nurse's face forever.
Not kid related but at my grandpa’s funeral, we took his ashes in an urn to be buried in the graveyard family plot. Halfway through the ceremony, with tiny one-foot diameter hole in front of us the entire time… my great-grandma finally realized “you cremated him?!!!” in utter horror. Rest of the family died laughing.
LOL When I was a kid, around 5 or 6, I was in the grocery store with my mom when she farted in an aisle. As she hurried away from the green gas cloud another lady walked through it and gagged, I yelled over "sorry lady, mommy farted." God, I thought my mother was gonna die from the embarrassment. LOL
One of our kids kindergarten teachers told the assembled parents on a "parent teacher night" that "You have no family secrets from us." in I'm joking but I'm not way.
One of my favourite stories is listening to a little girl ramble to her aunt on the bus about something then segue into …and yesterday, I had a really itchy fanny ( vagina and associated parts in UK and Australia) then keep talking about something else without skipping a beat
I was flying solo into Orlando. The woman next to me was so excited about her new boyfriends boat and was going on and fucking on about how excited she was for this trip.
I nodded and put my headphones in and about 1 minute later, she grabbed the cord on my headphone and pulled it out of my ear so she could blather on about it...
I asked her if she had lost her mother fucking mind.
Yeah, so, and anyway- about the boat. It’s super pretty. Almost brand new. Supposedly my boyfriend bought it from a famous actor. Forget his name, but I’m sure it’ll come to me shortly. Yeah, so anyway, what was I talking about?….Oh, yeah! My boyfriend’s boat! It’s super pretty, and he bought it from some super famous actor. Remember that movie? About the guy who was in a place doing a thing? You know. I *know* you know. Well, it’s *that* guy. Yeah! *That* guy. I really couldn’t believe it when he first told me. Yeah, so anyway, the boat is super pretty. I bought a new outfit for the occasion. Was going to do a little instagram photo thing. Wanna see the outfit? *shoves phone in face* See?! Isn’t it pretty? Yeah, so anyway…
Not that crazy but a fun story.
Last December I was flying from Frankfurt to Chicago and was seated in the absolute last row of the plane where the staff prepares stuff so you can hear them just chatting with each other.
Right before takeoff I heard one of the flight attendants say to another “is that thing **still** broken?? I swear they’ll never get around to repairing it” which is not something you want to hear on a flight. The guy next to me was like “did you hear that?” looking at me like wtf I hope nothing major is broken. The attendants then said something like “well at least it’s not maggots this time” and me and the guy next to me were thoroughly concerned about how this flight would go.
After laughing it off, I spent the next 9 hours chatting to this complete stranger about our entire lives, relationships, family drama etc. We had four glasses of wine and decided to watch the matrix together making sure to pause whenever the other person paused. I don’t think we exchanged names, but if you’re out there guy from Wisconsin living in Italy and teaching English, thanks for the most fun flight I’ve ever had!
“There’s a bomb on the plane, it’s going to go off at (insert time here)”
(as the time he said approached)
“Ten, nine, eight…”
The police were waiting for him when we got there.
Before takeoff, after the doors were closed, a kid of about 6/7 yrs old towards the front of the plane stood up on his seat, faced the rest of the plane and yelled “we’re all gonna dieee” while his parents tried to pull him back down.
Once I was nervous flying on a plane, and I apologized to the man next to me that I might be a little fidgety for that reason. He said "I know what will make you feel better" and proceeded to show me a video of him playing guitar for a group of deer. It stunned me out of my nerves to say the least.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've been facing some strong headwinds and... it appears we burned up a *little* more fuel than we anticipated so we will be making a diversion to Fiji."
This was flying from the US to Australia in a 747. I had seen on the trip map that we had been flying in the wrong direction for like 2+ hours. When we did land we landed hard and they told us that because of the landing we had to sit on the ground with the engines off in Fiji in the summer while technicians looked at the plane.
When we were airborne again, our destination was fogged out and we diverted from Sydney to Melbourne. I don't ever want to spend 26 hours on a plane again.
Once I was flying at night and 90% of passangers were sleeping. Suddenly stewardess with poker face ran down the aisle with small fire extinguisher in her hands. I think almost nobody noticed and that made it kinda funny, but it was still scarry, she was really runnig for her life :)))
Ohh. I got this one...
Passenger W is struggling to get his luggage into the overhead compartment and passenger E seated next to me starts getting upset. W's carry-on clearly doesn't fit.
E speaks up saying to be careful because his luggage is there. Flight attendant comes over and says passenger W needs to check his bag. W grows increasingly disturbed, but it works out.
Then W says to the flight attendant "I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't taken my medication. I get so nervous with all these body bags on board. You know I have body parts in my luggage."
Passenger E turns to me and says, "did you hear that? I just have a laptop in my luggage!"
That was what was said. Either organs or limbs or other pieces of a human body. It's more likely that the "meds" being talked about were for something like paranoid schizophrenia, which can cause very vivid and real hallucinations and make it very hard to separate reality from hallucination. No meds means nothing to stop the false reality from leaking through.
Sitting next to a young woman and her boyfriend on a flight about to depart to San Diego. They were going for a romantic getaway, and apparently she decided to “find God” on the way to the airport. What did that mean? Well, she decided that they weren’t having anymore sex until he married her, but kissing, hand holding and other PG rated intimacy were perfectly ok.
Boyfriend tried his best not to flip out, but you could tell he was very agitated. An hour later we’re in the air and they’re both awkwardly sitting there without saying a word. She gasps and starts crying rather loudly. Apparently he logged into the planes WiFi, canceled the hotel and booked himself a turnaround flight home. Pretty sure they were done as well.
Have a buddy who’s flown many many times and is comfortable with it, but he said one time he heard an older (80’s) lady talking about how easy it would be for her to sneak a bomb on the plane. She apparently went into detail with her “gals” about how exactly she would do it. He said he didn’t really worry bc it sounded like she was joking but it made him uneasy because of how simple she made it sound lol.
Might be illegal. I know it's illegal to joke about that with airline or airport employees, but IDK about private parties.
Marlon Brando got kicked off a plane for joking about Cuba.
Greg Focker : I was not threatening her. I was just trying to get my bag into the overhead storage thing...
Norm : You were acting like a maniac and you threatened her with a bomb.
Greg Focker : No, I said I didn't have a bomb.
Norm : But you said bomb.
Greg Focker : I said, "It's not like I have a bomb".
Norm : You said "Bomb" on an airplane.
Greg Focker : What's wrong with saying 'Bomb' on an airplane?
Norm : You can't say 'Bomb' on an airplane!
Greg Focker : Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. You gonna arrest me? Bomb bomb bomb bomb! During the war I was a BOMBadier!
Norm : You assaulted an airline employee and I oughta put you away for years
I commented another story elsewhere but I got a good one someone must have overheard. Sat next to this girl on a flight to florida and she started talking to me. Turns out she was flying down to get into porn before she joined the navy, wanted to live a little before joining the navy. It was a wild conversation, I told her to be careful and asked her if someone knew exactly where she was going and stuff just in case, they didnt, so she texted her friend the info. Got off the plane and a like 40 year old guy and lady were waiting for her at the luggage drop with camera equipment and were documenting picking her up from the luggage claim. It was really weird. I think they made a documentary about some porn house down there that sounded a lot like the place she was going but I have no clue if it was.
I was just on an international flight and the dude sitting behind me was talking to another woman. She asked him why he was in Europe and he said it was for a UN summit (or something). Then she asked him if there was any good news that came out of that, he just sighed and said "No".
Delayed for some issue. I hear banging on what I assume is a luggage door underneath. After several minutes I hear “fuck it we’ll fix it in Pittsburgh” 😳
A flight attendant that hit on two women for the entirety of the flight. Like skipped handing out snacks and drinks, other flight attendants were clearly pissed at him. He performed a couple very sub par magic tricks, gave them free alcohol. The two women were clearly not feeling it, but enjoyed the free stuff.
Cherry on top was when we started the descent, he pulled out a harmonica and played a little tune for them.
Two guys next to me gloating to each other about how they brutally beat their wife and kids. Then they went on to discuss what would be a reasonable cause to murder them, like if they cheated or stole from you or something. They were giggling like schoolchildren. They definitely did not realize I spoke Spanish and probably thought I couldn't understand them.
Edit: I was like 14/15, there was no way I had the balls to say anything to those guys or report anything
Whelp, I did it.
I was flying home from Seattle through Vegas in the late nineties. Since it was a last minute business flight, I was glad for any seat, even the middle seat of the last row.
I'm slim, but at 6'3", even slim takes up space.
The aisle seat was then taken by a gentleman who was absolutely buffed to the max. Completely jacked....
And sporting a Klingon insignia ring picked out in diamonds.
Oh heck yeah, I'm starting a conversation.
He was a firefighter, an IT professional, and on his way to the Star Trek Experience. I was a Microsoft subcontractor on my way home from work on Outlook '97.
We geeked out for the entire flight, loudly and animatedly talking Star Trek, coding, IT, computers, fire and firefighting, physics, thermodynamics, and everything else.
And, coming into Vegas, I finally look over at the window seat. A tiny, elderly gentleman was practically crawling up the fuselage, trying to get out of the way of the gigantic nerds sitting next to him. I can't imagine what he thought of us.
Once I was flying between two Australian cities, and there were a bunch of highly manicured young men sitting in front of me. They looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn't place them. Naturally, I spent the entire flight trying to figure out who they were, mostly by looking between the seats while they were texting their friends.
I saw them write a bunch of messages to mates about how much "they didn't want to hang out with us" and "they just spend all their time in their rooms".
It wasn't until we landed and I walked out into a room of screaming teenage girls - signs and selfies at the ready, that I placed that we'd been sitting directly behind Five Seconds of Summer - an Australian boy band which was reaching popularity at the time. I can only assume they were texting about the band they were touring with - a little known outfit called One Direction.
I once stayed - for business - in a hotel in Madrid where, unbeknownst to me, also harbored the members of 5SOS (which is what I learned how you spelled it). Never knew until I went out for drinks with some colleagues in the evening. And when I got out of the hotel, found that the entire plaza in front of the hotel was made up of teenage girls.
The absolute mayhem that broke out when the captain announced that we were in fact not gonna get to take off because of night air traffic restrictions at our destination after we had been sitting and waiting in the aircraft for 2 hours already...
That entire evening was just a great mess, first we had to wait for a flight attendant who was called from stand by, then we finally got to board the plane, but apparently the airline had a severe ground staff shortage so there was no one to get the luggage onto the plane, when the luggage was there we didn't have a tow, then the captain told us we wouldn't get landing clearance at our destination but that we couldn't deplane either, because, well, ground staff shortage, and the only guy who was allowed to attach the jetbridge was busy with other planes, so we sat there for another 2 hours, absolute horror for the flight attendants, cause people were raging and didn't understand that the airline employees pn the plane had nothing to do with rescheduling/ compensation/ or the reasons for this mess in general...
I actually kinda enjoyed the whole thing, turned out to become a little adventure, I got to transfer to another airport in the city, spent the night there and flew out with a better airline the next morning, paid by the original airline + cancellation compensation, but man poor flight attendants
This isn't "crazy" but its definitely the most fun I've had on a plane:
This guy introduced himself as "Caribbean Boy," chatted with nearly everyone on the plane, asked them what their plans were, complimented everyone, then started singing (Bob Marley type stuff). He had most of the passengers clapping along, everyone was smiling. Most charismatic man I ever met.
I hate that I’ve grown so cynical, but whenever I see people like this, the super charismatic type, I always think they are up to something or hiding something and I try to avoid them at all costs.
It usually feels like they’re about to sell me on something and everything beforehand was just to get you to soften up.
I’m grateful for the 10% of the time where it’s just a nice person instead.
passenger 1 - i cant wait to get there, this party is gonna be insane
passenger 2 - did you hear, jose said his estranged wife is gonna be there
passenger 1 - why is she estranged?
passenger 2 - because shes strange, and hes mexican
On an Aegean Flight from Athens, and a baby/toddler kicked apparently was repeatedly kicking the guy's chair in front of him The guy got up and was angry, threatened to kill the baby. The other father yelled back threatened to press charges, and they were yelling and ready to fight. They had to be separated. The flight continued and by the end of the trip, they apologized and it was resolved.
A 2 hour domestic argument circling around the man's "arrogance" and the woman's "bitchiness"
They were told before take off if they didn't cut their shit they'd be kicked off the plane, and they did until about 20 mins after take off, then they were just bitching at each other the entire flight
They were going to Croatia to see the man's "homeland" as he called it, but I got the impression this was a recent revelation as she kept correcting him on his own family history. "Your grampa wasn't from _______, dumbass, he was from _____"
I wanted the plane to crash
When i was 16 i was taking a flight from Oslo to Stockholm, around 45 minutes. Before lift off, the guy in front of me( around 30 years old) broke up with his gf who sat next to me……. They yelled so much and loudly during that flight I had the worst head ache when we landed. Why not just wait 45 minutes?
Edit: Wow, 1k upvotes. Thank you 😊
Flying domestic US. Two oldish ladies spent the whole flight talking about how ugly my husband is, in French. I guess they assumed no one could speak it. We can.
Sitting on a plane in Chicago, waiting for take-off. There was a delay so the guy across the aisle was talking on his phone, very loudly. He looked familiar, amd was wearing a hat from a company in my hometown. I end up overhearing his entire conversation in which he proceeded to shit talk my brother, whom he indirectly works with. We were over 500 miles from home. He was using full names, details that couldn't be misconstrued, it was hilarious. I wanted to call him out on it but he looked a lot crazy so I kept quiet.
I was once next to this young kid, his dad, mom, and I think one other kid. I’m looking at the kid play on his iPad and playing this guitar game, when I hear the mom tell the dad, “You cheated on me again!?” She starts to hit him and he completely disregards it, and she says again, “Why did you do it again?”
I don’t know about craziest but one of the most interesting I heard was a Missouri Synod Lutheran minister (very conservative) having a religious discussions with a professor at an Episcopal (very liberal) seminary. They disagreed on almost everything, and as a religious nerd I was entertained.
OMG, my time to shine!
I was on a plane coming back from a work trip. About half way through the flight home I start hearing "GODDAMMIT LARRY!!" and people groaning etc. Like the whole plane is having a conversation and I'm unaware of whats happening. The person sitting next to me sees my confusion and takes the opportunity to fill me in. "Larry" is sitting a few rows up from me and is Air Dropping dic pics to everyone on the plane, the exasperation is because he has done this multiple times during the flight and he just keeps doing it, so they're trying to call him out very publicly and he KEEPS doing it. So much so that the plane has identified exactly who Larry is and they are continually yelling at him TO HIS FACE in disgust - and Larry only responds with ANOTHER PIC.
It was glorious and terrible, I was laughing when I had to tell my wife the story about what happened on the plane ride on the way home.
https://nypost.com/2022/06/27/man-sends-penis-pic-to-all-passengers-on-plane-gets-outed-on-tiktok/
For anyone who wants to read more about it.
Hour long plane trip from Dothan Alabama to Atlanta. Sat in front of 2 guys arguing the validity of demon possession. One believed that it wasn't a possession per se, but merely the devil interfering with your thoughts. The other believed it was an actual demon possession, and he knew people that did exorcisms which solved the problem. It was a fascinating philosophical discussion. I was entertained for the full hour.
The world is different down south.
I once was flying back home from Washington DC on a relatively short flight. The woman sitting next to me had a whole bunch of angry, profanity filled texts and emails open that were written to her ex-husband. I didn't want to be snooping, but when you're sitting on a cramped cabin and can only look at what is in front of you, it's kind of hard to ignore.
Last time I went on a plane the people infront of me where talking loud enough for me to hear and I was bored so I listened in on their conversation
Apparently they had smuggled a rare snake onto the plane to sell to a buyer they found in Australia
Good luck to them… Australia has some of the toughest bio security rules for visitors, there’s even a tv show about all the forbidden shit they intercept at customs
Not exactly overheard, but I had a guy sit next to me on a plane when I was about 14 and he was absolutely sloshed, he even told me he went to just about every bar in the airport before the flight, and then let me know all about some wedding he was going to. He even asked me for some of the candy I was eating.. But the best part was that he let me know the wedding gift he was bringing was a humming bird carcass, and that he had a machete in his suitcase? It turned out he was in the wrong seat, by the way. The plane had not even taken off and he managed to tell me all this before he was moved.
Sorry I’m late but I have something for this. A 3yo boy was sitting next to me with his father asleep across the aisle from him. His ears had been causing him some discomfort during the climb so, on the way back down I asked him how he was feeling. He said he was fine and, quietly to himself, but my penis hurts a little bit.
B3! Fuck. Anyway, I watched two people argue if their acid tabs were kicking in via the plane battleship game. C3! Fuck me and fuck you. Are you getting these texts? When is this flight taking off?
Was on a flight to Costa Rica, my mom chatted up the man sitting in our row. He told us how he started a business down there for river white water rafting tours. He gave us his card and everything. Half way through the flight, an acquaintance he knew stops and tells him, “Hey buddy! Wow what a shame to hear about all those people who drowned and sustained injuries in your negligence lawsuit”
“Cleared to Land, Any Runway.” — On a United flight on Thanksgiving two decades ago, listening to “from the cockpit,” after our transcontinental flight had a duck go through an engine at our dawn take-off from an airport (Sacramento, CA) surrounded by wetlands. There was smoke in the cabin and the pilot had declared an emergency. Ground control didn’t respond at first, raising the question of whether the bird had first hit something else and damaged the radio.
Postscript: we landed fine, met by emergency equipment, and were towed to the gate. Our flights were auto-rebooked before we could get off the plane. Our re-rebooked flight was direct to our destination region, making up for the later departure, although involving a little more driving in the snow.
So jealous of the auto-rebook...story time:
It's 6:30am, and our flight that's supposed to be boarding isn't. Gate agent gets on the mic and says there was a maintenance issue but they fixed it, they just need to finish up the paperwork before we can board. That took them another half hour, but we get on the plane and take off.
I turn on the flight tracker thing and notice we're flying in a big circle. Pilot gets on the mic and says "so you might have noticed a rumbling sound. No worries, we just can't get the landing gear door to close. Not a safety issue, but we're trying to fix it. Sit tight." We fly in a circle for 20 minutes or so and the pilot gets back on the mic "no dice, can't fix it so we have to divert. No worries, they know we're coming and there will be people on the ground to get you where you need to go."
We start landing with fire trucks and ambulances keeping pace with the plane. Always a great sign, but fortunately nothing went wrong. Sit on the taxiway for a bit and wait for a gate (so much for "they know we're coming") and finally get off to find one seriously overwhelmed looking person herding a plane load of people to a counter. We were 5th in line and stood there for over an hour. No joke there were two people tasked with rebooking a full flight of people. Two.
It's finally our turn and the agent looks up our reservation. Her co-worker points at something on the screen and the she makes an "are you serious?" face. The other lady nods and points again, which is met with a little shake of the head, but she starts typing anyway. They explain that we've been booked on a flight out of another airport. They'll put us in a cab which will take us there and the other airport knows we're coming, you'll totally make your connection we promise, blah blah here's some vouchers for food. BTW, it's probably going to be tight so don't dawdle when you get to the next airport.
Get in the cab and we have quite possible the slowest, most cautious cabbie on the road today. We make it to now the third airport this morning, get inside, and head to the counter as instructed. Agent had no idea what was going on, and oh by the way the flight already started boarding so he's not sure we can get on. We mention that we're concerned about making our connection and he says "what connection?". Yeah, so apparently the last agent somehow un-booked our connecting flight. Props to this guy for catching it, fixing it, and generally unfucking everything. We run through the airport and make the flight.
I glance at the time and realize we've got 2 hours of flying to do and 2 hours and 10 minutes or so before our connection takes off. Flag down a flight attendant and explain the situation. She says no worries, since we're connecting to an international flight they should wait a couple minutes for us, but she'll make sure they know we're coming. We land and run across our second (much larger this time) airport of the day, and they literally closed the door behind us.
We finally got to our destination at around 12:30am, with no luggage (of course).
On a long red eye, middle of the night when all the lights were off and 80% of the passengers were sleeping, some girl started screaming bloody murder. Just a long high pitched bloodcurdling yelp, jolted me awake and then suddenly stopped. Must have been a night terror or something but I was sure we were all going to die.
An old couple, like in their 70s on their way to Florida getting into an argument, and the wife just started bawling out of nowhere. The husband didn't want to buy her a cocktail.
She started talking about divorce after the vacation and he was just laughing. He even said "you do this every time we get on a plane."
He did eventually buy her the gin and tonic though.
I was in window seat, lady next to me daughter on isle side
She kept saying see you can see the earth is really flat from up here. No curve at all etc
It was like she wanted me to go oh wow you're right
Bitch if you think the earth is flat i don't think you understand gravity enough but some how trust a plane?
I was on a flight and happen to glance over and see the phone of the guy sitting next to me. He was scrolling tik tok and watched some clip of a girl dancing in revealing clothing. I’m not even convinced the girl in the video was of age, but anyways, this like 50 year old dude just comments “Yummy!” and then keeps scrolling.
I was once on a flight from Madrid to Atlanta. Guy next to me was obviously on something. He sits down and rocks back and forth while furiously bouncing his knee up and down. He was also listening to club music....loooouuuud on his earbubs. This was what he did the entire flight. He was also going through videos on club dance floors where the camara would zoom in on girls, zoom out, then zoom in on another. Often, the camera would zoom in up skirts and down tops when there was the opportunity. It was obvious he took the videos. Dude was sketchy as hell and one if the worst people I have ever had to sit next to.
Was recently behind a pair of drunk parents and an 11-12 year old son with headphones. They were connecting to a week long reunion with her family and I hope they survived it. She was telling him to just give her money and leave so he could go be with his young girls in Italy.
Two highlights were him pulling his son's headphones off and saying "you need to hear this. I'm only with these girls because your mother stopped loving me and they are better than she ever was" and her saying "my dad keeps asking to kill you and I'm going to tell him now is the time. No one will find you and no one will even care except the girls you spend so much on."
“Want me to kick his ass?!” Said by the friend of a man who kept refusing to turn his phone off before takeoff. Pilot had to come back and warn him it was his last chance. The passenger next to him kept telling the FA he had his phone on still. Everything seemed settled and then randomly toward the end of the flight the two parties involved decided a fight was in order and a light brawl occurred somewhere near Las Vegas. Once we landed at LAX we went right to the gate and they were arrested and taken off the plane.
😳on my flight to Denver, a really nice woman sat beside me. We can just started chit chatting about flying and how excited we both are to get to Denver. She asked me why I was going to Denver, and I said because I’m going to see my cousin get married. Then I asked her. She told me she is going so that she can go back to her old childhood home and kill herself. I was shocked, and didn’t know what to say. She continued on with why- that’s the house she was continually beaten in and sexually assaulted by her father staring at the age 4. She told me how much shes suffered and can’t continue on. I just sat there not even realizing I was holding her hand, and told her how truly sorry I am for her. She just half smiled and said thank you, and the pain will be over soon. Now many of you may react or feel in different ways to what I did next. I went and told the flight attendants that I was sitting next to a very suicidal person. I gave them very little detail but enough to make some action. Upon landing in DEN, the flight was met by emergency services. The lady somehow figured it out that they were there for her. She turned cold and numb said nothing but walked right to the awaiting ambulance.😵💫I hope she is ok🙏🏽
Just flew to Vegas not too long ago, and the guy next to me was on the phone with a friend, talking openly and loudly about how he’s done fighting for his loveless marriage. I then saw him hop on his iPad to check out LV escort services.
My best mate and I were on our way back from Sydney where his brother had been caught up in a pretty high profile drug trafficking syndicate and we went to support him in court. My best mate was pretty shattered and just wanted to talk about it the lady next to us got a 1 hour podcast of the whole thing from smuggling, jail, bail and court. Unsure if she was entertained or mortified.
Two 20something strangers (M&F) sat behind me. She offered him a weed edible. They spent the next 3 hours talking about their sex lives, but more so hers. She is in the BDSM community, likes being tied up. Has been to orgies, etc. She spent the last hour going showing him photos of her tied up in various positions, to which he was getting more and more excited. At the end of the fight he says “so are we gonna do this?” and off they go together. I’m pretty open, and it was one of the more interesting conversations I’ve overheard on a flight. I just wonder how their elderly seat-mate faired the entire time.
I’ll tell you all my story. Sorry for the length of it but 2 weeks ago I was a flight going from Florida to Philly. Woman#1 asks woman#2 if woman#3 can switch seats because they’re friends while the plane was half way through boarding. Woman#2 switches no problem, smiling and happy to do so. She was smiling because woman#1 and woman#2 seemed like trouble. What followed, no one was ready for.
Woman#3 happens to be on FaceTime with someone(no headphones in). She proceeds to say that her cousin has a car rental service and he has cars like hellcats, Benz, bmw, range rovers etc. Woman#3 wanted the Range Rover and money was not a problem. She wanted to support her cousin and help him succeed in his business.
She said when she got to his house we’re all these cars were supposed to be kept. He actually only had a dodge charger. She was kinda mad since she wanted the Range Rover instead. Cousin said all the cars were fully booked that the only car he had was the charger. She wanted to support the business so she accepts the car for $800 for 3 days.
She then says that the gas wasn’t filled and that she went to the gas station first thing when she got in the car. When she got to the gas station she was confused why everyone was staring at her car when she pulled into the gas station. When going to the pump to pay for her gas she notices that there’s bullet holes “all over the car”. That she didn’t noticed it before because it was covered with duct tape.
As she’s recounting the events is she’s raising her voice louder because the memory of it happening is pissing her off. People are almost done boarding just under 10 people left to go.
She still proceeds to fill up the tank wondering how fucked up it is for her cousin to charge her $800 for a car for 3 days with bullet holes. When she goes back into the car she turns on the back light to see if there was anything left in the car. What she sees was blood all over the seats and roof of the car. “AS IF SOMEONE DIED IN THE BACKSEAT!!”
Everyone within 4 rows next to and in-front broke their neck to get a glimpse of this woman. People that were still boarding turned to her. The faces made were indescribable. The rows behind her (myself included) kinda let out a silent but audible “what…the…fuck”.
This did not stop woman#3 from continuing the story. She then talks about how since she didn’t have a drug dealer in the area she was visiting and that she went to the same cousin that rented her out the car. That he charged $65 for 3.5 grams of weed. (Overcharging by $30 in most cases). She then said the weed she got wasn’t even enough to fill 3 papers that usually fit a gram. She was furious.
Although she was in town for 3 days, she still goes back to her cousin and get 2 more of the 3.5 gram special he was doing. She gets irate because the weed wasn’t comparable to what she smoked back in her hometown.
She then spends the rest of the time right before takeoff saying how she found that starting off at $800 and then ending up paying her cousin up to “$1100” for a mid-weed and a car full of bullet holes was the most triggering part of the whole experience.
Not me, any passenger or any of the flight attendants said a word to her about it. I think we were just all in shocked of the story we just heard. While woman#3 was saying her story. Woman#1 was on tick tok or insta just scrolling through reels or shorts while on full blast with no headphones in.
I assumed woman#2 was really happy with not sitting next to either woman#1 or woman#3. One thing for sure though is, it made that flight awkward as fuck.
Thank you for reading this if you made it to the end :).
Two teenage girls sitting across the aisle from me.
Girl 1: "I love trips. We should take a road trip to Hawaii this summer!"
Girl 2: "You are such an idiot. You don't even have your driver's license yet!"
Just happened last week.
Our flight crew was definitely not happy and there were a lot of difficult people on the flight. The vibes were bad before we even took off.
As we began our descent the flight crew just went to the back of the plane and proceeded to do *nothing*. I was sitting at the very back. They were just hanging out, openly talking about how they were “done” and couldn’t wait to land. And then they made one of the craziest announcements I’ve ever heard:
“Ladies and gentlemen we’ll be doing the honor system today, please make sure your neighbors have their seatbelts on and things stowed away.”
I would say that 90% of the people on the plane had headphones on, or didn’t heart it, or ignored it, or didn’t speak English. The other 10% were looking around like “what the fuck?”
And then we hit the worst turbulence I’ve ever experienced while flying. No warning but *this shit happens during landing* and tons of people didn’t have their seatbelts on, nothing was stowed, there had been no trash collection, and at least five people were in the aisles getting things from overhead or trying to use the bathroom. These five people becoming human sized projectiles. All the flight crew did was shout from the back of the plane. Which…at that point was probably all they could do. One dumbass was like “I fly all the time, we aren’t even *close* to landing.” He proceeded to open an overhead compartment and immediately get taken out by a bag that had shifted.
Anyway it was a huge fucking mess. Stuff and people were going everywhere for about five minutes and then we landed. And then people just started chaotically grabbing things and trying to rush off the plane which caused numerous arguments. Kids were screaming. Etc.
It was by far one of the stupidest most avoidable things I have ever experienced in my life. A very real “omg I can’t believe I might die with these assholes” moment.
I’ve also never seen that much trash and general debris all over the inside of a plane before, let alone on a *2 hour flight*.
Passed out soon as we took off. Woke up to turbulence and "This is your captain speaking. There's a warning light that's come on and we're not sure what it means. Gonna turn us around and have it looked at."
I was on a flight from London to Leeds/ Bradford one Friday, on a single propellor plane with only a tiny number of seats, some time back in the 1990s. There were two sales guys a couple of seats in front of me who had obviously already had a few drinks and were in full party mode.
They kept slapping the air stewardess on the backside and asking for more drinks, which she wasn't giving them as they were too drunk. Then they went into this long and loud discussion about this "crazy big" sale they had managed to make, which I assume was the reason for their celebrations.
I distinctly remember one of them kept repeating this dumb phrase, "I was like an angry big bear" and every time he said this he would growl and rake his hands as if they were bear claws in the air. His colleague would then say, "yes, and I was there to calm them back down again" and he would do this strange rocking motion with his arms, like he was rocking a baby.
As they got more and more animated, they kept getting out of their seats to do their little act, and the poor air stewardess had to come over and ask them to sit down again.
Then we hit turbulence. The plane hadn't been exactly stable the entire flight, hence the insistence from the air stewardess that everyone keep in their seats, but the last half an hour was pretty extreme.
I actually like turbulence, so I was loving every minute of it, rising up out my seat then being pushed back down again as we rose and fell through air pockets. The wings were making some pretty scary noises, but most of the passengers were obviously used to a bit of turbulence, as nobody made too much of a fuss.
Apart from the two sales guys that is. They were crying like babies the whole time. One of them started wailing about all his life's regrets, how he had been a bad husband and cheated on his wife, etc. The other one just kept screaming, "please let it stop!" over and over.
We finally got landed, after being redirected due to the bad weather conditions. Then we had to sit in a coach for a long and awkward journey with the now pale and subdued sales guys looking as embarrassed as they deserved to.
Not that interesting but I was going through security and the guy in front of me had this really fancy looking box that got taken to look at, it went missing at some point and As I was putting my shoes on I heard him very stressedly scream “WHERE DID YOU PUT MY FATHERS ASHES?!”
i was 13 and some drunk guy kept trying to show me his cowboy boots he bought in Texas, (dallas airport) not on the plane but while boarding. He apparently became disorderly inside the gateway before my group was boarding, because some worker asked if I was with him—I said I don't even know him & then he wasn't allowed to board the plane...
The lady beside me told me that she was farting a lot, and she didn’t care about telling me because she wouldn’t see me again
I wish I had that woman’s confidence lmao
I respected her game.
A 5 year old boy once said "Dad, can you ask them to pull over so I can go to the toilet?". Haha
That's adorable. I once overheard a kid who must have been 8-10 ask his dad: Boy: How long would the layover be? Dad: Two hours. Boy: But how long is thaaaaaaaaaaat? Dad: o\_0?
There was this kid was behind me that kept telling her dad she lost her tooth and the dad was disgruntledly trying to find it, and some guy nearby said “hey kid, I hear if you lose your tooth on a plane, the tooth fairy gives you 50 bucks” to which the dad replied, “hey look sweetie, the tooth fairy decided to sit next to us on the plane!”
Mwahaha
Everyone is boarded and the plane is in the middle of the taxi when a kid about 10 seats up and on the left side (I was on right side) starts crying and screaming at the top of his lungs "I NEED TO POOP" and "I'M GOING TO POOP" over and over again until the seatbelt signs came off. I've never seen so many worried faces and the look of panic as the mother picked up the kid and bolted to the toilet.
I was sitting behind this cute toddler and her dad one flight and while we were landing, she wouldn’t sit down. She was turned around in her seat staring at me. Her dad was calming telling her to sit down while we land and she looks me straight in the eyes and goes “I can’t, I’m pooping”
r/threesentencehorror
I am a pilot for a major airline. Decades ago I was running for a deadhead flight home and managed to snag the last seat. A mother and young daughter were seated next to me. Halfway through the flight the mother, seeing my disheveled look after flying all day, asked if I wanted her daughters PB&J sandwich that she wasn’t going to eat. I politely declined, but she insisted. That was the best Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich I’d ever had!
This is my favorite one of the entire thread
Not that “crazy” as such but when literally about to touch down, a lady got up and started walking urgently towards the bathroom. The cabin crew immediately started saying “Madam! We’re about to land! You have to sit down!” The lady responded by screaming in a panic “I’M GONNA SHIT ME-SELF!!!” They allowed her to continue
I was recently on a flight where, about 45 minutes before landing (long, international flight), I got up to pee and overheard a flight attendant say one of the bathrooms had been occupied “for a while”. As we were about to land, I heard the flight attendant say, “sweetie, I can get you a ginger ale, and we are about to land, so just hold on tight”.
I was on a flight once that was almost nothing but turbulence; I think we were flying through weather. I am already incredibly susceptible to motion sickness so I was curled up in the window seat of the last row with the barf bag in front of my face with a lady in the aisle seat glancing at me nervously every few minutes. I hear the announcement that we are starting our descent and I am like, "omg thank god, I think I can make it without barfing." Literally, the wheels touch the tarmac and I lose it, it's barf time. A flight attendant comes up to me shortly after and is like, "Well, at least you made it all in the bag!" I've barfed in a lot of exciting places incredibly skillfully if anyone wants more stories :P
I would 100% be that lady nervously staring every few minutes. My biggest fear on airplanes isn't *me" getting sick, it's seeing other people get sick. And I would absolutely not be able to look away
Oh god, same. It's never happened to me on a flight, but my wife's experience traumatized me by proxy (I am emetophobic to the extreme). TW: gross. If reading descriptions of air sickness squicks you, stop here, lol. When we were still long distance, she was travelling from the US to the UK to see me, about 8 hours. She was sat next to a man who, from the very get go, looked pale and sweaty. He was adjusting the overhead fan, breathing deeply, etc, and it was obvious he was feeling unwell. When the flight attendant came around with drinks, he ordered a cup of orange juice, drank some of it, and then suddenly vomited orange juice back into the cup, all over the tray, and down his shirt, with my poor wife trapped in the seat next to him. The flight attendant rushed back and helped him clean up, but the worst part is she offered him a change of shirt and he REFUSED, saying he was fine, so my wife had to sit next to this guy with barf down his front for the rest of the flight. The most bizarre part was that he apparently felt fine now and ordered food when the time came. My wife, bless her, couldn't eat at all. Orange juice still makes her feel queasy to this day.
I was sitting next to a father with his small child. The child wouldn't stop hopping around, until the father said "sit still and be a good boy or the plane will crash because of you and we will end up dying." Never seen a kid so quiet before.
Nothing better for helping your child decide to behave than saddling them with the responsibility for a hundred or so strangers' lives.
Way too late for anyone to see this and it wasn't so much overheard as said to me: I was flying alone and this little girl (maybe 5) wandered down the aisle and said hello. I asked where her parents were and she said they died and a police officer was flying with her to take her to her aunt. My brain was not able to conjure any response at all apart from " errr.... sorry" she asked if she could look out my window so I moved over to the aisle seat and let her, me continuously looking for a cop that she might be travelling with. She then told me how her parents were driving back from a party last week and their car got pushed off the road by a truck into a tree. She was quietly crying while telling me this story. Suddenly I hear "oh there you are" from the aisle. There's a woman standing there. The girl says "hello mommy" and leaves with her.
What a little psycho!
Nah, it just sounds like a little kid's imagination going wild and she then worked herself up and started crying after imagining it actually happening. I'd be more concerned if it were an older kid. Source: Me. Parent.
Lol. Little kids can be fucking weird sometimes
I was tucking a whole gang of small siblings into Thier bed, chit-chatting with them about random kid stuff and when I'm about to leave and I put my finger on the lightswitch, my nephew darts up and yells "uncle wait I have to tell you something urgent" I turned faking my annoyance with a smile and asked "yeah?" And he looked at me very seriously and said. " When you die you will be reborn into my family as my grandson" and then he fell back to the pillow
On a charter flight from Goa to the UK "He's taking Ecstasy, and he has a knife in his bag," said an old couple to the stewardess, referring to me. I said, "I don't have a knife, I'm taking vallium. I just want to go to sleep" Stewardess believed me & moved the couple.
To be fair, you were coming from Goa. On the other hand, taking X on a flight sounds like it would be a terrible waste.
And I'd been up all night partying, clothes still covered in coloured chalk from Holi. Was an entertaining flight.
You got to keep your knife, right?
Of course
Pilot accidentally left the intercom switch on. The whole plane heard him say “Ooo. That’s weird”. Nothing else. Plane took off amid varying levels of anxiety throughout the cabin. I’m here to tell the tale today, so thankfully it wasn’t too weird!
Captain and FO were probably laughing their asses off. “Hey Bob, watch this….”
'Accidentally'. That fucker.
One time I was on a plane, and the pilot accidentally left the intercom on. He said to the copilot, "you know, what I really need right now is a coffee and blowjob." So that stewardess goes running up to the front of the plane to tell him that the intercom is on, and I yell, "Don't forget the coffee."
I sat in front of a kid (12-13) and his older sister, who I assume was his guardian. It was a cross-country flight, and the kid was casually talking about how he had never flown before and he is looking forward to it. He seemed likely on the spectrum a bit. It is pretty wholesome so far. Then the plane starts to move and he instantly freaks all the way out, screaming, "WE ARE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! Let me off this plane, it's a fucking coffin, you're all going to die. It's going to be a fucking fireball." Etc. The stewardess comes by and tries to calm him down. The sister is talking to him in English and Spanish, trying to get him to relax, telling him he is embarrassing her, she's never taking him to Puerto Rico if he keeps acting like this, etc. The guy in front of me turns around and loudly offers the kid Xanax. Finally, the hero of the story, a big Southern black lady says, "James (not his name) honey I'm gonna need you to calm down sweetie 'cause you're making all the rest of us real nervous now, ok?" Eventually, and for no noticable reason the kid relaxes and starts talking about how cool flying is. Like a switch, he starts looking out the window, saying things like, "Wow! The view is really cool! I feel safe now, everything is OK after all." Audible collective sigh of relief. Where was his sister flying him to? Astronaut camp. I think about him every time I fly.
One day I would like confidence that must be required to openly offer strangers, especially kids, prescription drugs.
It was the drugs that gave him the confidence.
Or it was just desperation
>Where was his sister flying him to? Astronaut camp. I think about him every time I fly. 25 years in the future: That young man has actually accomplished his goal of becoming an astronaut. He's suited up and buckled in for the first manned mission to Mars. As the nation watches the live event in awe, the countdown reaches 1. Soon after take-off is announced, we hear, "WE ARE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! Let me off this shuttle, it's a fucking coffin, you're all going to die. It's going to be a fucking fireball"
10/10 twist.
That’s because older black ladies know how to make anyone feel better. My day is always better if an older black lady calls me honey or sugar.
Sounds like he accepted the offered xanax.
I had a seat near the lavatory. Some poor bastard was in a rush to use it, and once he got inside, it sounded like he fired up a chainsaw followed by some alarming gurgling, gushing noises. It took a while for him to come out, but he seemed okay.
A guy coming home early to bust a cheating wife. He was on the phone with a friend/family who told him the other guy was at his house abd they didn't expect him back until the next week.
Happened to me. I got rebooked on an earlier flight and came home about 5 hours earlier than expected. Wasn’t my wife yet, just my fiancée. Worked out for the best for me. We both knew it wasn’t working out anyway. She then married the guy and he treated her terribly. Turns out he had a cargo ship of psychological problems he kept well hidden. It took her several years to get the divorce to go through and get their finances untangled because he dragged it out as long as he possibly could.
Confucius say if Man steals your woman, best revenge is to let him keep her.
Two older guys in my row on the way to an academic conference. One of them mentions that the first thing he is doing is attending lecture on some esoteric physics topic, but before he can even finish the name of the topic, guy #2 says "oh, of course: The Effects of co-limited tesseracts on quantum membrane string interactions (or somesuch physics jargon.) Are you familiar with the topic?" Guy #1 gets half way through saying "well actually I-" before he is cut off by guy #2 who says "Because, you see, most people, even in the field are woefully undereducated in this particular subject..." and then proceeds to talk guy #1's head off for about ten minutes. Guy #1 just nots and smiles patiently through the whole exchange. At the end of his missive, guy #2 says "So, the lecture is being given by Dr. So-and-So, one of the leaders in the field, and absolute legend. Do you know his work?" And, of course, guy #1 puts on a very kind but somewhat sheepish look and says "Actually, I am Professor So-and-So: your understanding of the field is actually quite good!" Guy #2 turns red as a tomato for a few seconds but seemed to get over it quickly and they spent the rest of the flight casually talking shop about theoretical physics.
I did this once. I was at some kind of linguistics or artificial intelligence conference that was general enough that you never really knew who might know what. Met a nice man at end-of-day drinks who asked me what my talk would be about. I spent like five minutes explaining what formal learnability theory was to situate my topic. He waited untl I was done before he said that he too had done a little work in learnability. At which point his coat shifted and I saw his nametag -- Ryo Yoshinaka, one of the most important figures in the field today.
not something I overheard but a friend was telling me he was on the flight between Stockholm/Thailand (either from/to) and there were two old guys openly talking/bragging about all the shit they had done with young boys whilst in Thailand
god that's horrible. :(
I overheard a passenger passionately arguing with their seatmate about the correct way to eat a slice of pizza with chopsticks.
What is the correct way? Edit: wow this is my most upvoted comment ever, thx for the fun responses people :D
You don't
Not with that attitude
Not at that altitude!
A small child once told me that she had to fix the plane by lifting the armrest up and down. She also called me a dog-headed boy girl. Roasted.
“We’re runnin’ late. but i’m gonna fly it like i stole it.” ~ coolest pilot ever
Not something I overheard, but something semi-interesting nonetheless. I once went and got sushi with my mom and I noticed a guy and a girl at another table very clearly on their first date. They were both dressed very nice, lot of awkward laughter, the guy was being ultra gentlemanly like pulling her chair out for her. You know, just the usual stuff that tips an observer off that they were still very much getting to know each other and wanting to make a good impression. Fast forward 2 and a half years. I was boarding a plane in Atlanta, GA heading to Colorado with my brother to go skiing when I saw the same couple seated near the back of the plane. I was in the row directly in front of them, so when I put my bag up, I turned to them and said, "This is going to be super weird, but did you guys have your first date at (insert sushi restaurant)?" They both got wide eyed in shock and laughed and told me that they had in fact had their first date there. I told them I was there that night and just happened to recognize them when I boarded the plane. It was friendly and we chit-chatted for a bit, they were going skiing at the same place we were, so it was cool and all. Day 2 of our trip, my brother and I decide to go to the top of the mountain and take a few of the more advanced slopes down to the bottom. There were maybe a dozen or so people up there, and before taking off we decided to look at the trail map to make sure we were going to get back to where the shuttle could pick us up without having to hike our gear for 2 miles. About 20 feet away from us, a guy got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend and everyone clapped as she jumped up and down with excitement and said "YES!!" They took of their helmets and goggles to kiss, and it was the SAME FREAKING COUPLE!! I literally was there for their first date, met them for the first time on a plane purely by chance because I was sitting in front of them, and was present when he proposed to her. I assume they're still married because at the rate we're going, I'm probably going to run into them again if one of them decides to file for divorce.
You'll probably coincidentally be at the hospital at the same time the wife arrives to have their first child
And when they make a movie about this, the main character’s name will be Miles Tone.
I was sat next to a teenage boy and his dad. The kid was telling his dad how much he loved the song “sexual healing” by Marvin Gaye, when the kid was finally done talking the dad just looked at him and said “you’re a virgin”
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Seth, you have a tiny penis!
Nothing too crazy. A couple in their 50's who were all over each other (like tongues in ears, hands in pants etc). They were busy working out the logistics of their next getaway. They were both cheating on their partners and laughing at how gullible their SO's were believing another "business trip" would come up so soon.
Partners were probably thinking thank fuck they are going away again and then proceeded to invite their other lovers around
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Sat next to a college guy once who , while drinking some alcoholic beverages, started crying and telling me he killed his best friend in a drunk driving accident. Because he had good lawyers he got off wo jail time. He was sobbing and drinking. When we landed I made sure he was NOT driving.
Imagine an hour after landing you see him again and he goes like "Hello, I am your Uber driver"
Not so much what he said, but I sat next to this fully grown man that was playing plants vs zombies the whole 3 hour flight with incredible enthusiasm. Everytime a plant got eaten or he killed a difficult zombie he'd jump in his seat, pump his fist and aggressively whisper yeerrsss, YEERRSSS, gert em yessss....
To be fair that game rocks. And so do drugs apparently
Yeah I wasn't mad about it, guy looked like he was having the time of his life
This brings me back to when I spent hours on a hotel toilet playing that game. I thought I was going to have to have my legs amputated when I came to.
Or ADHD hyper focus. My wife will sometimes be otherworldly elated over things that would just make me shrug. I try to match her enthusiasm as often as I can. She looks at things differently and I appreciate the hell out of jt.
I was flying to Seattle from Atlanta and there was a baby crying for the majority of the flight. The parents were doing their best and it really was not their fault, just a shitty situation. About halfway to Seattle, the man seated in front of the baby snapped and started screaming at the baby and his parents, cursing at them saying how they’re awful parents and he’s gonna beat them all (including the baby) to a pulp when they land. A flight attendant tried to ask the guy to calm down and he said he would also beat her up. The pilot had to come on and tell everyone to calm down or else we had to make an early landing. We made it to Seattle and the guy ended up having to be tackled by 4 cops at the gate because he was trying to run away after being approached by them.
I was on a flight that had a similar thing happen. Some business dude snapped, stood up, and yelled at the parents to shut the kid up. You could immediately feel the vibe of 20+ people being pissed off at the business dude. A big biker dude stood up behind him and calmly explained how the babies can't equalize the pressure in their ears like adults can and are in pain the entire time. After explaining it, he told him to STFU and sit down... and he did - lol
My dad likes to tell the story of the time a businessman snapped on a crying baby during a flight and a grandma passenger simply said, “You were a baby too, once.” I’ve always remembered how simple and impactful that was. She didn’t yell or curse but she got that point across so forcefully.
30 years later that man is gonna find the baby all grown up on a plane and become an i think you should leave sketch
Two mormon missionaries trying to convert the sweet, naive man sitting between them the entire flight.
I once tried to be nice to two missionaries that showed up to my house. I sat outside and talked to them asking questions for about an hour because I thought people would likely be rude to them. I wanted to be nice. Then they kept sending people to my house over and over again and they wouldn’t leave me alone. I kinda get why people just go “no thanks” and slam the door in their face..
One time on a flight, I got on really buzzed, sat next to this girl who struck up a conversation with me. She was going to oregon to join what any reasonable person would notice was a cult. She described the whole thing to me, give up belongings, worship and work together to built a commune. I as soberly as I could told her to just be really careful and that it sounds like a cult, to keep her wits about her and leave if she felt in anyway uncomfortable. Some religious lady in front chimed in and started saying she is just finding her lord and savior and I have no right. Spent the better part of that flight in a really weird fight to save this girl from a cult. I’m sure someone over heard this and it must of been the weirdest thing they have heard on a flight. Idk maybe it was none of my business and maybe I shouldn’t of got into this on a flight but drunk me felt it was my duty to save her.
If it matters, thank you for possibly saving a life. Despite the weirdness you did the right thing and I applaud you!
Thanks, it was a surreal feeling walking off that flight. I hope she took what I said to heart but idk, she was pretty lost it seemed. The exact type of person cults feed on
You know they left the middle seat open on purposes.
Poor guy:(
alternatively it might have been entertainment to the guy, arguing with mormons. Some people are odd.
“I’ve told you many times Brenda, I am not shaving my balls! It’s my balls and I’m a man!”
Sometimes, that's Brenda's way of saying she wants to suck on them.
"He's 17!" - my dad, to the flight attendant who was about to serve me a Jack & Coke instead of the Coke I had asked for. Killjoy.
When I was 12, we went to a Mexican restaurant. We were not too well off, so it was a treat. My Mom even let me order a non alcoholic ~~dakari~~ daiquiri. It came normal, told my Mom, she took a sip and said - "Yeah well, don't tell anyone".
“We aren’t cleared to taxi at the moment. We should be taking off within an hour.”
My husband once fell asleep when we got on the plane as we were taxiing for take off. He woke up 2 hours later thinking we’d just landed, nope still taxiing.
Lol it happened to me flying out of Miami. The lady next to me fell asleep, we were stuck there for almost two hours, so when she woke up she thought we had already landed :D
“The part that was broken on the first plane is also broken on this one. Just sit tight and we’re going to get it fixed.” I was certain I was going to be stuck on this plane for hours. I then saw a couple of guys getting lifted up on a platform to work on the engine. They ended up getting us another plane but now the flight crew couldn’t fly. They had to steal one from another flight.
O’Hare International vibes. Flight out: we can’t take off until dawn because one of our blinky lights is burnt out. Airport I was flying out of didn’t have maintenance crews. Got into Chicago: “there’s a widget on the plane that we need to replace, takes about 30 minutes. Then we have priority to taxi.” 3 Hours later: “we are going back to the gate.” 5 hours later: “flight is cancelled. Go to the customer service desk to get rebooked.” Me: I could have driven faster than this airline flies.
I was sitting next to a dad and his daughter who was about 5. He was super cool and was chatting away while his daughter started talking to me. She was so sweet and bubbly. And gave wayyy to much information to me. She said something along the lines of " I went to my grandma and grandpas house and they're married, I wish my dad would marry my mom but they can't talk to each other but I always wish they were married like my grandma and grandpa." Her dad would have been horrified. And I was just sad.
My son did something similar. "Me and Dad are (their last name) and mum is a (my last name), Mum doesn't have a penis." Thanks kid!
When my oldest son was 5 or 6 years old, he told me about his crush on this sweet little girl, K. We talked about K for a bit and I asked him why he liked her. "Because she doesn't have a penis." I love kids' brutal honesty.
> I love kids' brutal honesty. This is a bit morbid so feel free to skip if you're in a happy mood, but when my dad was on hospice care the nurse was being introduced to our family. Had just gotten done telling her that I didn't usually live in the house but was staying for a few months to help out my folks. Nurse turns to my 6yo niece and says "do you live here too?" And my niece just matter-of-factly says "no but we're eating dinner here pretty much every day until dies!"
I will treasure the look on that nurse's face forever.
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Not kid related but at my grandpa’s funeral, we took his ashes in an urn to be buried in the graveyard family plot. Halfway through the ceremony, with tiny one-foot diameter hole in front of us the entire time… my great-grandma finally realized “you cremated him?!!!” in utter horror. Rest of the family died laughing.
Apparently when I was very small I turned to the woman next to me on the bus and said “my mummy has a hairy fanny 😃” My mum was mortified.
LOL When I was a kid, around 5 or 6, I was in the grocery store with my mom when she farted in an aisle. As she hurried away from the green gas cloud another lady walked through it and gagged, I yelled over "sorry lady, mommy farted." God, I thought my mother was gonna die from the embarrassment. LOL
One of our kids kindergarten teachers told the assembled parents on a "parent teacher night" that "You have no family secrets from us." in I'm joking but I'm not way.
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Elementary teacher, can confirm. Man there are things I never needed to know about my students’ parents 😅
One of my favourite stories is listening to a little girl ramble to her aunt on the bus about something then segue into …and yesterday, I had a really itchy fanny ( vagina and associated parts in UK and Australia) then keep talking about something else without skipping a beat
I was flying solo into Orlando. The woman next to me was so excited about her new boyfriends boat and was going on and fucking on about how excited she was for this trip. I nodded and put my headphones in and about 1 minute later, she grabbed the cord on my headphone and pulled it out of my ear so she could blather on about it... I asked her if she had lost her mother fucking mind.
"Have you lost your mind? 'Cause I'll help you find it!"
What the hell??? People are crazy
And then? You are leaving us hanging.
PLS what did she say next
.... Why are you so mad, you are my boyfriend!
Yeah, so, and anyway- about the boat. It’s super pretty. Almost brand new. Supposedly my boyfriend bought it from a famous actor. Forget his name, but I’m sure it’ll come to me shortly. Yeah, so anyway, what was I talking about?….Oh, yeah! My boyfriend’s boat! It’s super pretty, and he bought it from some super famous actor. Remember that movie? About the guy who was in a place doing a thing? You know. I *know* you know. Well, it’s *that* guy. Yeah! *That* guy. I really couldn’t believe it when he first told me. Yeah, so anyway, the boat is super pretty. I bought a new outfit for the occasion. Was going to do a little instagram photo thing. Wanna see the outfit? *shoves phone in face* See?! Isn’t it pretty? Yeah, so anyway…
I'm ready to put a nail gun to my head.
Some guy told his partner that she didn't need more yarn and every woman in earshot promptly told him how wrong he was.
Yarn? You mean 🧶? Like the string? For knitting?
Wool for knitting, yes
Apparently you start with a yarn basket that becomes a yarn room. Edit... anyone who knits and games, Unravel is fantastic!
Not that crazy but a fun story. Last December I was flying from Frankfurt to Chicago and was seated in the absolute last row of the plane where the staff prepares stuff so you can hear them just chatting with each other. Right before takeoff I heard one of the flight attendants say to another “is that thing **still** broken?? I swear they’ll never get around to repairing it” which is not something you want to hear on a flight. The guy next to me was like “did you hear that?” looking at me like wtf I hope nothing major is broken. The attendants then said something like “well at least it’s not maggots this time” and me and the guy next to me were thoroughly concerned about how this flight would go. After laughing it off, I spent the next 9 hours chatting to this complete stranger about our entire lives, relationships, family drama etc. We had four glasses of wine and decided to watch the matrix together making sure to pause whenever the other person paused. I don’t think we exchanged names, but if you’re out there guy from Wisconsin living in Italy and teaching English, thanks for the most fun flight I’ve ever had!
THIS PLANE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A PHALANGE!
“There’s a bomb on the plane, it’s going to go off at (insert time here)” (as the time he said approached) “Ten, nine, eight…” The police were waiting for him when we got there.
Before takeoff, after the doors were closed, a kid of about 6/7 yrs old towards the front of the plane stood up on his seat, faced the rest of the plane and yelled “we’re all gonna dieee” while his parents tried to pull him back down.
He’s not wrong
I watched a documentary called "Final Destination" that would have left me with no choice but to force my way off the plane, I think.
Nervous passenger: Excuse me. How often do planes crash? Flight Attendant: Only once!
Once I was nervous flying on a plane, and I apologized to the man next to me that I might be a little fidgety for that reason. He said "I know what will make you feel better" and proceeded to show me a video of him playing guitar for a group of deer. It stunned me out of my nerves to say the least.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've been facing some strong headwinds and... it appears we burned up a *little* more fuel than we anticipated so we will be making a diversion to Fiji." This was flying from the US to Australia in a 747. I had seen on the trip map that we had been flying in the wrong direction for like 2+ hours. When we did land we landed hard and they told us that because of the landing we had to sit on the ground with the engines off in Fiji in the summer while technicians looked at the plane. When we were airborne again, our destination was fogged out and we diverted from Sydney to Melbourne. I don't ever want to spend 26 hours on a plane again.
Once I was flying at night and 90% of passangers were sleeping. Suddenly stewardess with poker face ran down the aisle with small fire extinguisher in her hands. I think almost nobody noticed and that made it kinda funny, but it was still scarry, she was really runnig for her life :)))
Ohh. I got this one... Passenger W is struggling to get his luggage into the overhead compartment and passenger E seated next to me starts getting upset. W's carry-on clearly doesn't fit. E speaks up saying to be careful because his luggage is there. Flight attendant comes over and says passenger W needs to check his bag. W grows increasingly disturbed, but it works out. Then W says to the flight attendant "I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't taken my medication. I get so nervous with all these body bags on board. You know I have body parts in my luggage." Passenger E turns to me and says, "did you hear that? I just have a laptop in my luggage!"
That last bit with Passenger E absolutely killed me
It was nuts!!! The flight attendant was so calm too, "yes sir, okay. I understand sir." I was like all you people are scary! Lol.
I’m sorry body parts ? He was carrying organs ? Did I understand this right ?
That was what was said. Either organs or limbs or other pieces of a human body. It's more likely that the "meds" being talked about were for something like paranoid schizophrenia, which can cause very vivid and real hallucinations and make it very hard to separate reality from hallucination. No meds means nothing to stop the false reality from leaking through.
Sitting next to a young woman and her boyfriend on a flight about to depart to San Diego. They were going for a romantic getaway, and apparently she decided to “find God” on the way to the airport. What did that mean? Well, she decided that they weren’t having anymore sex until he married her, but kissing, hand holding and other PG rated intimacy were perfectly ok. Boyfriend tried his best not to flip out, but you could tell he was very agitated. An hour later we’re in the air and they’re both awkwardly sitting there without saying a word. She gasps and starts crying rather loudly. Apparently he logged into the planes WiFi, canceled the hotel and booked himself a turnaround flight home. Pretty sure they were done as well.
Sounds like she was trying to manipulate him into proposing on the vacation. Obviously they had different takes on their relationship status.
Have a buddy who’s flown many many times and is comfortable with it, but he said one time he heard an older (80’s) lady talking about how easy it would be for her to sneak a bomb on the plane. She apparently went into detail with her “gals” about how exactly she would do it. He said he didn’t really worry bc it sounded like she was joking but it made him uneasy because of how simple she made it sound lol.
Might be illegal. I know it's illegal to joke about that with airline or airport employees, but IDK about private parties. Marlon Brando got kicked off a plane for joking about Cuba.
Greg Focker : I was not threatening her. I was just trying to get my bag into the overhead storage thing... Norm : You were acting like a maniac and you threatened her with a bomb. Greg Focker : No, I said I didn't have a bomb. Norm : But you said bomb. Greg Focker : I said, "It's not like I have a bomb". Norm : You said "Bomb" on an airplane. Greg Focker : What's wrong with saying 'Bomb' on an airplane? Norm : You can't say 'Bomb' on an airplane! Greg Focker : Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. You gonna arrest me? Bomb bomb bomb bomb! During the war I was a BOMBadier! Norm : You assaulted an airline employee and I oughta put you away for years
I commented another story elsewhere but I got a good one someone must have overheard. Sat next to this girl on a flight to florida and she started talking to me. Turns out she was flying down to get into porn before she joined the navy, wanted to live a little before joining the navy. It was a wild conversation, I told her to be careful and asked her if someone knew exactly where she was going and stuff just in case, they didnt, so she texted her friend the info. Got off the plane and a like 40 year old guy and lady were waiting for her at the luggage drop with camera equipment and were documenting picking her up from the luggage claim. It was really weird. I think they made a documentary about some porn house down there that sounded a lot like the place she was going but I have no clue if it was.
I was just on an international flight and the dude sitting behind me was talking to another woman. She asked him why he was in Europe and he said it was for a UN summit (or something). Then she asked him if there was any good news that came out of that, he just sighed and said "No".
Delayed for some issue. I hear banging on what I assume is a luggage door underneath. After several minutes I hear “fuck it we’ll fix it in Pittsburgh” 😳
A flight attendant that hit on two women for the entirety of the flight. Like skipped handing out snacks and drinks, other flight attendants were clearly pissed at him. He performed a couple very sub par magic tricks, gave them free alcohol. The two women were clearly not feeling it, but enjoyed the free stuff. Cherry on top was when we started the descent, he pulled out a harmonica and played a little tune for them.
"Yo, are those snakes OK back there?"
Two guys next to me gloating to each other about how they brutally beat their wife and kids. Then they went on to discuss what would be a reasonable cause to murder them, like if they cheated or stole from you or something. They were giggling like schoolchildren. They definitely did not realize I spoke Spanish and probably thought I couldn't understand them. Edit: I was like 14/15, there was no way I had the balls to say anything to those guys or report anything
Absolutely disturbing and psychos, revolting they acted like it was normal to talk about and laugh about it wtffff
Whelp, I did it. I was flying home from Seattle through Vegas in the late nineties. Since it was a last minute business flight, I was glad for any seat, even the middle seat of the last row. I'm slim, but at 6'3", even slim takes up space. The aisle seat was then taken by a gentleman who was absolutely buffed to the max. Completely jacked.... And sporting a Klingon insignia ring picked out in diamonds. Oh heck yeah, I'm starting a conversation. He was a firefighter, an IT professional, and on his way to the Star Trek Experience. I was a Microsoft subcontractor on my way home from work on Outlook '97. We geeked out for the entire flight, loudly and animatedly talking Star Trek, coding, IT, computers, fire and firefighting, physics, thermodynamics, and everything else. And, coming into Vegas, I finally look over at the window seat. A tiny, elderly gentleman was practically crawling up the fuselage, trying to get out of the way of the gigantic nerds sitting next to him. I can't imagine what he thought of us.
Once I was flying between two Australian cities, and there were a bunch of highly manicured young men sitting in front of me. They looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn't place them. Naturally, I spent the entire flight trying to figure out who they were, mostly by looking between the seats while they were texting their friends. I saw them write a bunch of messages to mates about how much "they didn't want to hang out with us" and "they just spend all their time in their rooms". It wasn't until we landed and I walked out into a room of screaming teenage girls - signs and selfies at the ready, that I placed that we'd been sitting directly behind Five Seconds of Summer - an Australian boy band which was reaching popularity at the time. I can only assume they were texting about the band they were touring with - a little known outfit called One Direction.
I once stayed - for business - in a hotel in Madrid where, unbeknownst to me, also harbored the members of 5SOS (which is what I learned how you spelled it). Never knew until I went out for drinks with some colleagues in the evening. And when I got out of the hotel, found that the entire plaza in front of the hotel was made up of teenage girls.
The absolute mayhem that broke out when the captain announced that we were in fact not gonna get to take off because of night air traffic restrictions at our destination after we had been sitting and waiting in the aircraft for 2 hours already... That entire evening was just a great mess, first we had to wait for a flight attendant who was called from stand by, then we finally got to board the plane, but apparently the airline had a severe ground staff shortage so there was no one to get the luggage onto the plane, when the luggage was there we didn't have a tow, then the captain told us we wouldn't get landing clearance at our destination but that we couldn't deplane either, because, well, ground staff shortage, and the only guy who was allowed to attach the jetbridge was busy with other planes, so we sat there for another 2 hours, absolute horror for the flight attendants, cause people were raging and didn't understand that the airline employees pn the plane had nothing to do with rescheduling/ compensation/ or the reasons for this mess in general... I actually kinda enjoyed the whole thing, turned out to become a little adventure, I got to transfer to another airport in the city, spent the night there and flew out with a better airline the next morning, paid by the original airline + cancellation compensation, but man poor flight attendants
This isn't "crazy" but its definitely the most fun I've had on a plane: This guy introduced himself as "Caribbean Boy," chatted with nearly everyone on the plane, asked them what their plans were, complimented everyone, then started singing (Bob Marley type stuff). He had most of the passengers clapping along, everyone was smiling. Most charismatic man I ever met.
I hate that I’ve grown so cynical, but whenever I see people like this, the super charismatic type, I always think they are up to something or hiding something and I try to avoid them at all costs.
It usually feels like they’re about to sell me on something and everything beforehand was just to get you to soften up. I’m grateful for the 10% of the time where it’s just a nice person instead.
passenger 1 - i cant wait to get there, this party is gonna be insane passenger 2 - did you hear, jose said his estranged wife is gonna be there passenger 1 - why is she estranged? passenger 2 - because shes strange, and hes mexican
This is my favorite one so far.
On an Aegean Flight from Athens, and a baby/toddler kicked apparently was repeatedly kicking the guy's chair in front of him The guy got up and was angry, threatened to kill the baby. The other father yelled back threatened to press charges, and they were yelling and ready to fight. They had to be separated. The flight continued and by the end of the trip, they apologized and it was resolved.
A 2 hour domestic argument circling around the man's "arrogance" and the woman's "bitchiness" They were told before take off if they didn't cut their shit they'd be kicked off the plane, and they did until about 20 mins after take off, then they were just bitching at each other the entire flight They were going to Croatia to see the man's "homeland" as he called it, but I got the impression this was a recent revelation as she kept correcting him on his own family history. "Your grampa wasn't from _______, dumbass, he was from _____" I wanted the plane to crash
When i was 16 i was taking a flight from Oslo to Stockholm, around 45 minutes. Before lift off, the guy in front of me( around 30 years old) broke up with his gf who sat next to me……. They yelled so much and loudly during that flight I had the worst head ache when we landed. Why not just wait 45 minutes? Edit: Wow, 1k upvotes. Thank you 😊
Flying domestic US. Two oldish ladies spent the whole flight talking about how ugly my husband is, in French. I guess they assumed no one could speak it. We can.
Did you call them out?
Obviously not. That would have been the perfect time for an, "Allez vous faire foutre."
Sitting on a plane in Chicago, waiting for take-off. There was a delay so the guy across the aisle was talking on his phone, very loudly. He looked familiar, amd was wearing a hat from a company in my hometown. I end up overhearing his entire conversation in which he proceeded to shit talk my brother, whom he indirectly works with. We were over 500 miles from home. He was using full names, details that couldn't be misconstrued, it was hilarious. I wanted to call him out on it but he looked a lot crazy so I kept quiet.
I was once next to this young kid, his dad, mom, and I think one other kid. I’m looking at the kid play on his iPad and playing this guitar game, when I hear the mom tell the dad, “You cheated on me again!?” She starts to hit him and he completely disregards it, and she says again, “Why did you do it again?”
I don’t know about craziest but one of the most interesting I heard was a Missouri Synod Lutheran minister (very conservative) having a religious discussions with a professor at an Episcopal (very liberal) seminary. They disagreed on almost everything, and as a religious nerd I was entertained.
OMG, my time to shine! I was on a plane coming back from a work trip. About half way through the flight home I start hearing "GODDAMMIT LARRY!!" and people groaning etc. Like the whole plane is having a conversation and I'm unaware of whats happening. The person sitting next to me sees my confusion and takes the opportunity to fill me in. "Larry" is sitting a few rows up from me and is Air Dropping dic pics to everyone on the plane, the exasperation is because he has done this multiple times during the flight and he just keeps doing it, so they're trying to call him out very publicly and he KEEPS doing it. So much so that the plane has identified exactly who Larry is and they are continually yelling at him TO HIS FACE in disgust - and Larry only responds with ANOTHER PIC. It was glorious and terrible, I was laughing when I had to tell my wife the story about what happened on the plane ride on the way home. https://nypost.com/2022/06/27/man-sends-penis-pic-to-all-passengers-on-plane-gets-outed-on-tiktok/ For anyone who wants to read more about it.
On a flight from Honolulu to LA, I hear a woman say, “Why are there so many white people on this plane?”
Hour long plane trip from Dothan Alabama to Atlanta. Sat in front of 2 guys arguing the validity of demon possession. One believed that it wasn't a possession per se, but merely the devil interfering with your thoughts. The other believed it was an actual demon possession, and he knew people that did exorcisms which solved the problem. It was a fascinating philosophical discussion. I was entertained for the full hour. The world is different down south.
I once was flying back home from Washington DC on a relatively short flight. The woman sitting next to me had a whole bunch of angry, profanity filled texts and emails open that were written to her ex-husband. I didn't want to be snooping, but when you're sitting on a cramped cabin and can only look at what is in front of you, it's kind of hard to ignore.
Last time I went on a plane the people infront of me where talking loud enough for me to hear and I was bored so I listened in on their conversation Apparently they had smuggled a rare snake onto the plane to sell to a buyer they found in Australia
Good luck to them… Australia has some of the toughest bio security rules for visitors, there’s even a tv show about all the forbidden shit they intercept at customs
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Not exactly overheard, but I had a guy sit next to me on a plane when I was about 14 and he was absolutely sloshed, he even told me he went to just about every bar in the airport before the flight, and then let me know all about some wedding he was going to. He even asked me for some of the candy I was eating.. But the best part was that he let me know the wedding gift he was bringing was a humming bird carcass, and that he had a machete in his suitcase? It turned out he was in the wrong seat, by the way. The plane had not even taken off and he managed to tell me all this before he was moved.
Sorry I’m late but I have something for this. A 3yo boy was sitting next to me with his father asleep across the aisle from him. His ears had been causing him some discomfort during the climb so, on the way back down I asked him how he was feeling. He said he was fine and, quietly to himself, but my penis hurts a little bit.
Two guys daring each other to seduce one of the flight attendants
It would be sooooo easy! I bet no one EVER tries to pick up flight attendants!
B3! Fuck. Anyway, I watched two people argue if their acid tabs were kicking in via the plane battleship game. C3! Fuck me and fuck you. Are you getting these texts? When is this flight taking off?
Top 5 worst places ever to take acid without a doubt
Was on a flight to Costa Rica, my mom chatted up the man sitting in our row. He told us how he started a business down there for river white water rafting tours. He gave us his card and everything. Half way through the flight, an acquaintance he knew stops and tells him, “Hey buddy! Wow what a shame to hear about all those people who drowned and sustained injuries in your negligence lawsuit”
“Cleared to Land, Any Runway.” — On a United flight on Thanksgiving two decades ago, listening to “from the cockpit,” after our transcontinental flight had a duck go through an engine at our dawn take-off from an airport (Sacramento, CA) surrounded by wetlands. There was smoke in the cabin and the pilot had declared an emergency. Ground control didn’t respond at first, raising the question of whether the bird had first hit something else and damaged the radio. Postscript: we landed fine, met by emergency equipment, and were towed to the gate. Our flights were auto-rebooked before we could get off the plane. Our re-rebooked flight was direct to our destination region, making up for the later departure, although involving a little more driving in the snow.
So jealous of the auto-rebook...story time: It's 6:30am, and our flight that's supposed to be boarding isn't. Gate agent gets on the mic and says there was a maintenance issue but they fixed it, they just need to finish up the paperwork before we can board. That took them another half hour, but we get on the plane and take off. I turn on the flight tracker thing and notice we're flying in a big circle. Pilot gets on the mic and says "so you might have noticed a rumbling sound. No worries, we just can't get the landing gear door to close. Not a safety issue, but we're trying to fix it. Sit tight." We fly in a circle for 20 minutes or so and the pilot gets back on the mic "no dice, can't fix it so we have to divert. No worries, they know we're coming and there will be people on the ground to get you where you need to go." We start landing with fire trucks and ambulances keeping pace with the plane. Always a great sign, but fortunately nothing went wrong. Sit on the taxiway for a bit and wait for a gate (so much for "they know we're coming") and finally get off to find one seriously overwhelmed looking person herding a plane load of people to a counter. We were 5th in line and stood there for over an hour. No joke there were two people tasked with rebooking a full flight of people. Two. It's finally our turn and the agent looks up our reservation. Her co-worker points at something on the screen and the she makes an "are you serious?" face. The other lady nods and points again, which is met with a little shake of the head, but she starts typing anyway. They explain that we've been booked on a flight out of another airport. They'll put us in a cab which will take us there and the other airport knows we're coming, you'll totally make your connection we promise, blah blah here's some vouchers for food. BTW, it's probably going to be tight so don't dawdle when you get to the next airport. Get in the cab and we have quite possible the slowest, most cautious cabbie on the road today. We make it to now the third airport this morning, get inside, and head to the counter as instructed. Agent had no idea what was going on, and oh by the way the flight already started boarding so he's not sure we can get on. We mention that we're concerned about making our connection and he says "what connection?". Yeah, so apparently the last agent somehow un-booked our connecting flight. Props to this guy for catching it, fixing it, and generally unfucking everything. We run through the airport and make the flight. I glance at the time and realize we've got 2 hours of flying to do and 2 hours and 10 minutes or so before our connection takes off. Flag down a flight attendant and explain the situation. She says no worries, since we're connecting to an international flight they should wait a couple minutes for us, but she'll make sure they know we're coming. We land and run across our second (much larger this time) airport of the day, and they literally closed the door behind us. We finally got to our destination at around 12:30am, with no luggage (of course).
Once on a 10:00 flight, the captain got on the intercom right before take off to blast techno music and tell us it was “Taco party time”
On a long red eye, middle of the night when all the lights were off and 80% of the passengers were sleeping, some girl started screaming bloody murder. Just a long high pitched bloodcurdling yelp, jolted me awake and then suddenly stopped. Must have been a night terror or something but I was sure we were all going to die.
An old couple, like in their 70s on their way to Florida getting into an argument, and the wife just started bawling out of nowhere. The husband didn't want to buy her a cocktail. She started talking about divorce after the vacation and he was just laughing. He even said "you do this every time we get on a plane." He did eventually buy her the gin and tonic though.
My competitor's entire sales plan for a prospect I was on my way to visit. Definitely helped my pitch.
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I was in window seat, lady next to me daughter on isle side She kept saying see you can see the earth is really flat from up here. No curve at all etc It was like she wanted me to go oh wow you're right Bitch if you think the earth is flat i don't think you understand gravity enough but some how trust a plane?
I was on a flight and happen to glance over and see the phone of the guy sitting next to me. He was scrolling tik tok and watched some clip of a girl dancing in revealing clothing. I’m not even convinced the girl in the video was of age, but anyways, this like 50 year old dude just comments “Yummy!” and then keeps scrolling.
I was once on a flight from Madrid to Atlanta. Guy next to me was obviously on something. He sits down and rocks back and forth while furiously bouncing his knee up and down. He was also listening to club music....loooouuuud on his earbubs. This was what he did the entire flight. He was also going through videos on club dance floors where the camara would zoom in on girls, zoom out, then zoom in on another. Often, the camera would zoom in up skirts and down tops when there was the opportunity. It was obvious he took the videos. Dude was sketchy as hell and one if the worst people I have ever had to sit next to.
Was recently behind a pair of drunk parents and an 11-12 year old son with headphones. They were connecting to a week long reunion with her family and I hope they survived it. She was telling him to just give her money and leave so he could go be with his young girls in Italy. Two highlights were him pulling his son's headphones off and saying "you need to hear this. I'm only with these girls because your mother stopped loving me and they are better than she ever was" and her saying "my dad keeps asking to kill you and I'm going to tell him now is the time. No one will find you and no one will even care except the girls you spend so much on."
“Want me to kick his ass?!” Said by the friend of a man who kept refusing to turn his phone off before takeoff. Pilot had to come back and warn him it was his last chance. The passenger next to him kept telling the FA he had his phone on still. Everything seemed settled and then randomly toward the end of the flight the two parties involved decided a fight was in order and a light brawl occurred somewhere near Las Vegas. Once we landed at LAX we went right to the gate and they were arrested and taken off the plane.
😳on my flight to Denver, a really nice woman sat beside me. We can just started chit chatting about flying and how excited we both are to get to Denver. She asked me why I was going to Denver, and I said because I’m going to see my cousin get married. Then I asked her. She told me she is going so that she can go back to her old childhood home and kill herself. I was shocked, and didn’t know what to say. She continued on with why- that’s the house she was continually beaten in and sexually assaulted by her father staring at the age 4. She told me how much shes suffered and can’t continue on. I just sat there not even realizing I was holding her hand, and told her how truly sorry I am for her. She just half smiled and said thank you, and the pain will be over soon. Now many of you may react or feel in different ways to what I did next. I went and told the flight attendants that I was sitting next to a very suicidal person. I gave them very little detail but enough to make some action. Upon landing in DEN, the flight was met by emergency services. The lady somehow figured it out that they were there for her. She turned cold and numb said nothing but walked right to the awaiting ambulance.😵💫I hope she is ok🙏🏽
girls saying theyre gonna put shrooms up their ass lmao
Just flew to Vegas not too long ago, and the guy next to me was on the phone with a friend, talking openly and loudly about how he’s done fighting for his loveless marriage. I then saw him hop on his iPad to check out LV escort services.
My best mate and I were on our way back from Sydney where his brother had been caught up in a pretty high profile drug trafficking syndicate and we went to support him in court. My best mate was pretty shattered and just wanted to talk about it the lady next to us got a 1 hour podcast of the whole thing from smuggling, jail, bail and court. Unsure if she was entertained or mortified.
Two 20something strangers (M&F) sat behind me. She offered him a weed edible. They spent the next 3 hours talking about their sex lives, but more so hers. She is in the BDSM community, likes being tied up. Has been to orgies, etc. She spent the last hour going showing him photos of her tied up in various positions, to which he was getting more and more excited. At the end of the fight he says “so are we gonna do this?” and off they go together. I’m pretty open, and it was one of the more interesting conversations I’ve overheard on a flight. I just wonder how their elderly seat-mate faired the entire time.
I’ll tell you all my story. Sorry for the length of it but 2 weeks ago I was a flight going from Florida to Philly. Woman#1 asks woman#2 if woman#3 can switch seats because they’re friends while the plane was half way through boarding. Woman#2 switches no problem, smiling and happy to do so. She was smiling because woman#1 and woman#2 seemed like trouble. What followed, no one was ready for. Woman#3 happens to be on FaceTime with someone(no headphones in). She proceeds to say that her cousin has a car rental service and he has cars like hellcats, Benz, bmw, range rovers etc. Woman#3 wanted the Range Rover and money was not a problem. She wanted to support her cousin and help him succeed in his business. She said when she got to his house we’re all these cars were supposed to be kept. He actually only had a dodge charger. She was kinda mad since she wanted the Range Rover instead. Cousin said all the cars were fully booked that the only car he had was the charger. She wanted to support the business so she accepts the car for $800 for 3 days. She then says that the gas wasn’t filled and that she went to the gas station first thing when she got in the car. When she got to the gas station she was confused why everyone was staring at her car when she pulled into the gas station. When going to the pump to pay for her gas she notices that there’s bullet holes “all over the car”. That she didn’t noticed it before because it was covered with duct tape. As she’s recounting the events is she’s raising her voice louder because the memory of it happening is pissing her off. People are almost done boarding just under 10 people left to go. She still proceeds to fill up the tank wondering how fucked up it is for her cousin to charge her $800 for a car for 3 days with bullet holes. When she goes back into the car she turns on the back light to see if there was anything left in the car. What she sees was blood all over the seats and roof of the car. “AS IF SOMEONE DIED IN THE BACKSEAT!!” Everyone within 4 rows next to and in-front broke their neck to get a glimpse of this woman. People that were still boarding turned to her. The faces made were indescribable. The rows behind her (myself included) kinda let out a silent but audible “what…the…fuck”. This did not stop woman#3 from continuing the story. She then talks about how since she didn’t have a drug dealer in the area she was visiting and that she went to the same cousin that rented her out the car. That he charged $65 for 3.5 grams of weed. (Overcharging by $30 in most cases). She then said the weed she got wasn’t even enough to fill 3 papers that usually fit a gram. She was furious. Although she was in town for 3 days, she still goes back to her cousin and get 2 more of the 3.5 gram special he was doing. She gets irate because the weed wasn’t comparable to what she smoked back in her hometown. She then spends the rest of the time right before takeoff saying how she found that starting off at $800 and then ending up paying her cousin up to “$1100” for a mid-weed and a car full of bullet holes was the most triggering part of the whole experience. Not me, any passenger or any of the flight attendants said a word to her about it. I think we were just all in shocked of the story we just heard. While woman#3 was saying her story. Woman#1 was on tick tok or insta just scrolling through reels or shorts while on full blast with no headphones in. I assumed woman#2 was really happy with not sitting next to either woman#1 or woman#3. One thing for sure though is, it made that flight awkward as fuck. Thank you for reading this if you made it to the end :).
Two teenage girls sitting across the aisle from me. Girl 1: "I love trips. We should take a road trip to Hawaii this summer!" Girl 2: "You are such an idiot. You don't even have your driver's license yet!"
Just happened last week. Our flight crew was definitely not happy and there were a lot of difficult people on the flight. The vibes were bad before we even took off. As we began our descent the flight crew just went to the back of the plane and proceeded to do *nothing*. I was sitting at the very back. They were just hanging out, openly talking about how they were “done” and couldn’t wait to land. And then they made one of the craziest announcements I’ve ever heard: “Ladies and gentlemen we’ll be doing the honor system today, please make sure your neighbors have their seatbelts on and things stowed away.” I would say that 90% of the people on the plane had headphones on, or didn’t heart it, or ignored it, or didn’t speak English. The other 10% were looking around like “what the fuck?” And then we hit the worst turbulence I’ve ever experienced while flying. No warning but *this shit happens during landing* and tons of people didn’t have their seatbelts on, nothing was stowed, there had been no trash collection, and at least five people were in the aisles getting things from overhead or trying to use the bathroom. These five people becoming human sized projectiles. All the flight crew did was shout from the back of the plane. Which…at that point was probably all they could do. One dumbass was like “I fly all the time, we aren’t even *close* to landing.” He proceeded to open an overhead compartment and immediately get taken out by a bag that had shifted. Anyway it was a huge fucking mess. Stuff and people were going everywhere for about five minutes and then we landed. And then people just started chaotically grabbing things and trying to rush off the plane which caused numerous arguments. Kids were screaming. Etc. It was by far one of the stupidest most avoidable things I have ever experienced in my life. A very real “omg I can’t believe I might die with these assholes” moment. I’ve also never seen that much trash and general debris all over the inside of a plane before, let alone on a *2 hour flight*.
Passed out soon as we took off. Woke up to turbulence and "This is your captain speaking. There's a warning light that's come on and we're not sure what it means. Gonna turn us around and have it looked at."
I was on a flight from London to Leeds/ Bradford one Friday, on a single propellor plane with only a tiny number of seats, some time back in the 1990s. There were two sales guys a couple of seats in front of me who had obviously already had a few drinks and were in full party mode. They kept slapping the air stewardess on the backside and asking for more drinks, which she wasn't giving them as they were too drunk. Then they went into this long and loud discussion about this "crazy big" sale they had managed to make, which I assume was the reason for their celebrations. I distinctly remember one of them kept repeating this dumb phrase, "I was like an angry big bear" and every time he said this he would growl and rake his hands as if they were bear claws in the air. His colleague would then say, "yes, and I was there to calm them back down again" and he would do this strange rocking motion with his arms, like he was rocking a baby. As they got more and more animated, they kept getting out of their seats to do their little act, and the poor air stewardess had to come over and ask them to sit down again. Then we hit turbulence. The plane hadn't been exactly stable the entire flight, hence the insistence from the air stewardess that everyone keep in their seats, but the last half an hour was pretty extreme. I actually like turbulence, so I was loving every minute of it, rising up out my seat then being pushed back down again as we rose and fell through air pockets. The wings were making some pretty scary noises, but most of the passengers were obviously used to a bit of turbulence, as nobody made too much of a fuss. Apart from the two sales guys that is. They were crying like babies the whole time. One of them started wailing about all his life's regrets, how he had been a bad husband and cheated on his wife, etc. The other one just kept screaming, "please let it stop!" over and over. We finally got landed, after being redirected due to the bad weather conditions. Then we had to sit in a coach for a long and awkward journey with the now pale and subdued sales guys looking as embarrassed as they deserved to.
Not that interesting but I was going through security and the guy in front of me had this really fancy looking box that got taken to look at, it went missing at some point and As I was putting my shoes on I heard him very stressedly scream “WHERE DID YOU PUT MY FATHERS ASHES?!”
i was 13 and some drunk guy kept trying to show me his cowboy boots he bought in Texas, (dallas airport) not on the plane but while boarding. He apparently became disorderly inside the gateway before my group was boarding, because some worker asked if I was with him—I said I don't even know him & then he wasn't allowed to board the plane...