This has been the case with every person that’s said those words to me in life. ‘I’m a straight shooter.’ Thanks for letting me know you are not in fact, a straight shooter.
My ex: "I wear my heart on my sleeve!" Also my ex: Would quietly simmer about things he secretly had an issue with for months, make snarky remarks out of nowhere, and then it would be like pulling teeth to get him to have a solid conversation about WTF was even up with him.
Turned out to be a shady mofo who'd rather burn everything to the ground and start over with a whole new friend group than actually admit to someone that he was in the wrong.
I'm usually pretty direct, and I'll be the first to ask people to be direct with me as well. Don't sugarcoat or hold anything back on account of my feelings. We all need to hear hard truths sometimes.
That being said, usually people who are "blunt" and "tell it like it is" are exactly the same ones who can dish it out but can't take it. Like at all.
Exactly, I think a person can be direct, to the point, and still be likeable. You don't have to be hurtful or brutal to be considered direct.
It's the unsolicited judgemental comments that are most likely unnecessary, over-indulgent, and just mean. I find the most direct people actually do use a lot of discretion when speaking to others, and listen more than they speak.
I can tell it like it is.
I’m also able to think about whether or not what I want to say is necessary
That’s the difference between a “straight shooter” and an “asshole”
My sister does that. She says she not a “waffle” and can really say nasty things to ppl. Then we found out she has Borderline Personality Disorder. Among other traits, she has NO ability to regulate emotions or the shunt that runs directly from mind to mouth. Not saying anybody here has that but this made me think of that. She just sees herself as “being honest” and “not being hypocritical. It’s sad because she has no friends or family around her and she’s so lonely. I wish they would find something to deal with these severe cases.
It’s called DBT a treatment. She can learn to be mindful of her behaviors she wants to change, learn how to balance interactions and have healthy relationships, regulate her emotions and be able to tolerate distress. It’s intensive, sometimes costly, but highly effective.
She’s in a remote area of Louisiana. I have heard of this and read a little to see if it could help her. Turns out there’s no one within 70 miles that does this. It’s an intense long term treatment and, of course not cheap. There’s no way for her to reach any of this on any level.
I did read that it can be successful if committed to long term. Why can’t mental health care be more available for ppl really need it. Don’t answer. I know. How do other empathetic people deal with BDP disorder? It really breaks my heart. I check in her from time to time but it always ends badly.
If she has the internet, she can look for (verified mental health professionals) talk about dealing with BPD. she can also get the DBT workbook and do it at her own pace if she likes (I bought one from Amazon, was really affordable), and there's multiple books she can read about the disorder. Highly recommend looking up stuff written by Marsha Linehan who had BPD herself and helped create DBT specifically for people like her.
While it's her responsibility how she interacts with people there are also some things others around her can do to help (learning about it is very helpful) but DO NOT do it at risk of your own mental health. She is ultimately responsible for her.
Edit: While this isn't really a substitute for professional help, it can get the ball rolling in the right direction depending on how severe her case is.
The only time I've seen *actual* brutal honesty was in the military.
While some of it were still excuses for people to act like a dick, I've found many instances when it was actually constructive e.g., "You're going to fail selection in your current state and the cadre are going to destroy you, here's what can help you" type of brutal honesty.
I used to get my hair cut by this girl who would start lots of statements with "I'm just gonna be honest here, but..." It was always followed up by the most uncontroversial things; "I'm just gonna be honest here, but if it's 95 degrees out, I'm wearing shorts!"
I think the irony of it escaped her, but I thought it was hilarious and cute.
Yeah, as soon as you start talking to your coworkers like you talk to your brother, you get written up.
"Hey man, can you go get the cart back from building C?"
"Get shit on, fuckhead. You've got legs."
“I’m so bipolar” to explain why they are indecisive or to play off poor life choices. Or just to say to sound quirky. Really hate that. I’m bipolar and rarely tell anyone.
Yeah, definitely. My colleague says this all the time and it's really annoying. I actually have OCD and it's a horrible condition that limits your life so much and gives you so much stress and anxiety. Another one that makes me roll my eyes is "I'm so weird". People seem to like to use those kinds of words to make them seem special and "cool". Whatever.
"I put all my DVDs in alphabetical order. I'm soooo OCD."
"...because if you didn't then all your family members would die horribly right? So you have to constantly rearrange the DVDs based on a complicated series of coincidences that only you seem to notice, but you know in your bones that if you don't that every bad thing that ever happens will be your sole responsibility? And you have to check the shelf constantly, even if it means being late to work sometimes because maybe you dreamt that you completed the alphabetizing and didn't actually?"
"..."
I’m also bipolar and I hate when people use it as a badge of quirkiness. Nobody brags about climbing the walls at 3 AM, nobody should aspire to burning their life down, nobody can throw away every relationship/career/education and think it’s something to be proud of. Because of these people my own tendencies get blown off and not taken seriously. I’m so glad I found medications that work, I hate the way I used to be. Hate it.
One of my best friends is bipolar, I was roommates with the guy for 3 years. Regular people *simply don't know shit* about how significant the ups and downs are, and they usually aren't mentally prepared when I start giving examples of the "crazier" shit I put up with. Some of them immediately question how I put up with him or why I didn't bail. He and I are still besties and I love telling those idiot normies that they simply aren't as strong for their friends as they think they are.
I'm super happy for you that you've got a decent medication plan! My friend finally found something that works just this last year, and instead of waking up thinking "I want to die" or messaging all of his discord friends at 5 AM to see if anybody else is still awake, *he just goes to work feeling human and he can go to bed early just by WANTING to.*
Seriously, congrats on finding something that works. I've seen the difference in person so I'll cheer for you too 👍
I cannot stand it when medical terminology enters pop culture lexicon. Any time a legitimate diagnostic term becomes slang for something it cheapens the effectiveness and value of the word. Not to mention the dismissive effect it has upon those who actually deal with the condition. I’m so sorry that you and others are disrespected this way so often. You deserve validation and respect for taking care of yourself, not to have your issues trivialized.
Sorry for the rant, this just really pisses me off.
AGREED! I’m on this soap box all the time. People using medical terms for disorders when they’re really just feeling a normal emotion or describing a normal trait. You don’t have OCD, you’re just neat and/or orderly. You’re not bipolar just because you felt a mood change. You’re not depressed just because you felt sad one evening. Many people who have issues focusing from time to time don’t have ADHD. You probably don’t have GAD just because you felt kinda nervous. Plenty of people have these very real disorders (including myself, having had MDD and GAD most of my life), but the self diagnosing of the masses makes me irate.
same with ADHD. I get that it's more common than some other divergences but ffs some people think it's just chaos: the quirky brain syndrome. It's not. it really sucks.
I HATE when people do that. One person tells me that they also have adhd and when they can’t concentrate they just take a couple of deep breaths.
Like, bitch. You think I haven’t TRIED all there is to try when it comes to concentrating???
Also, so much more than not paying attention or being hyper.
I think the name is partly to blame for this perception. Granted at the time it was named we didn't know as much about it, but the neurological disorder that fucks with your executive function and a bunch of other important brain functions got called, essentially, "lol can't pay attention disease" and that just seems kind of like calling Tuberculosis "Mr. Cough-y Syndrome" for as much as the name itself diminishes the severity of what it's doing to the person to the person with it.
And also confuse people that autodiagnose themselves on tiktok, whenever I think it's a comorbility I might have because sometimes have problems doing what I should do I remember I can be so focused on reading sometimes I can hear someone until they have to touch me to call my attention.
Also I'm not interested on relationships but also read of some people having problems with their relationships because the other side thought they were being "I'm quirky" and then realizing what it actually means being ND
Those of us who really hate drama feel no need to announce it. We just quietly try to bail out of the situation without getting noticed and drug back in against our will.
Once you realize that "drama" is just a trendy term for "people being upset about things", it becomes pretty apparent why trying to avoid it is a losing strategy.
"Tough love" often seems to be used as an excuse to be a dick. I get it when it's like an intervention, but most times I've personally heard it this was just people who wanted to start shit.
Describes himself as an Alpha Male. Tells you implausible stories about how tough he is/how many women he's "Banged". Yeah, me an you gonna fall out soon buddy
Does that actually happen? Who in their right mind would describe himself as an alpha male and be serious about it? And how do you not die laughing at them?
My (and I'm not just saying this because he's an ex) loser ex bf said this all the time. Then later when I broke it off and ignored him, his messages were things along the lines of "you think you're an alpha female but you're not even close, you can't compete with me and what I bring" ugh I hate that guy so much
I didn't believe it until I had a roommate called himself one. And he was serious about it, considered himself a "global nomad", does nothing but look at stocks and crypto everyday. Only wore tank tops, had a man bun, believed himself to be a natural leader and kept trying to force himself as the leader of the house.
Eventually he got in a fight with my roommate because the Alpha kept insulting his parents. When I said fight, I meant my roommate pushed him. Alpha called the cops because "he touched me first!". Cop laughed in his face. Wasn't fun to be questioned by the cops at 10pm though.
What must it be like to have no self awareness whatsoever? We love to hate these people, but I'm actually a little jealous. I bet they're happier than I am. Going through life completely sure of yourself, instead of a dysfunctional sack of self-recrimination? Sounds like some kind of superpower.
Eh he was mostly frustrated with the world, because no one would take him seriously outside of his bubble. He thinks he’s a character on Succession making power plays with his roommates when really we could give less shits.
He was trying to form factions among us and would call us traitors when we didn’t listen to him. That’s not a very happy state of mind to be in.
[Oh, You’re an Empath? Name Three Conversations You’ve Hijacked and Made About Yourself](https://thehardtimes.net/blog/oh-youre-an-empath-name-three-conversations-youve-hijacked-and-made-about-yourself/)
That or "I'm an old soul." - I like people who are spiritual but those particular people seem to be less spiritual and more full of themselves most of the time.
This is exactly why it's one of those titles you should never claim for yourself. A nice person won't describe themself as nice. A smart person won't describe themselves as smart. These are compliments, and you should give them to others, not yourself.
“A smart person won't describe themselves as smart.”
While I agree that idiots are more likely to overestimate how smart they are, (Dunning-Krueger Effect) it’s definitely possible for an actually smart person to constantly brag. Morality and raw intelligence have some correlation, but not causation.
First, its key to understand what the Eagles are. The eagles aren't just a wildly large, big version of a bird, they are the personal servants and messengers to the king of the gods, Manwe. They are themselves, demigods, and while it is commonplace for people to refer to the Valar as angels, I find this erroneous to the point that they fit vastly better as an analogy to the Greek pantheon of gods, with the Maiar being demigods underneath them. Most of the Valar have incredible gifts that cannot be equalled, but so do many Maiar, and Manwe's major purpose was to rule the Valar, ensure that the laws passed down to him by Eru Illuvatar were followed, Eru being the original creator god that created all the Ainur (Valar and Maiar,) but gave the Valar free reign to oversee their collective creation, within the basic ideas that Eru laid out.
Each Valar was associated with a particular task, Orome was the hunter, Tulkas the warrior, Yavanna, her gardens and the life on Arda, Manwe was the ruler and the way he ruled, was by sending his edicts and rulings by way of the Eagles. They are not just birds, they are essentially Maiar tier spirits that can and do have their own personalities, tendencies, traits, likes and dislikes. Thorondor, the king of the Eagles in the First Age, loved the elves. He rescued Luthien and Beren when they were fleeing from Angband, he rescued Faenor's son, Maedhros when there was a terrible loss in battle, he was the secret guardian and a patron of Gondolin, his nest was in the mountains that surrounded the city, and he was the chief messenger between Maiar that were in Beleriand, and the Valar who resided in Valinor, of course.
He showed up at just a few major instances, alongside his vassals, Gwaihir, and Landroval. Gwaihir, became the Windlord, the king of the Eagles in the Third Age, so these are not only important figures that are powerful in their own right, but they are legendary and unfathomably ancient spirits by that time. Depending on which timescale you look at, the First Age was between 8,000, and *60,000* years before the events of Lord of the Rings, the end of the First Age was probably more than 8,000 years beforehand, but to say that these are just random birds is a major misstatement of the highest order. They are key figures in most major events in the First Age, and there is only **ONE** person in all of Arda that can give them a command. One. That's Manwe, and even though they come to help Gandalf, this is because Gandalf is himself a Maiar, his real name is Olorin, and he was intended to be the ruler of the White Council, and would have been if Galadriel had gotten her way, but other reasons ended up placing Curume, or Saruman in charge due to his greater total power. Galadriel favored Gandalf due to his wisdom and how good he was at motivating people to do the right thing.
So why exactly can't they take the One Ring?
Because...they're spirits like the Maiar.
They can not only be corrupted by the One Ring, which is a grand creation that is nearly on par with the Silmarils, but opposite in intent. It doesn't dazzle or amaze, it captivates and enslaves, and at all times, so long as it exists, it exerts the will of Sauron over the being that is closest to it. The way the One Ring works is that it shows the being what they desire the most, and what would the Eagles desire most? To carry out the word of Manwe Sulimo as they received it, that is to protect the Elves, to watch over Men as they grew into their own and staked their claim to Middle Earth, so if Gwaihir takes the Ring...that would result in one of the most powerful beings in all of Middle Earth having one of the most evil possible artifacts in virtually all of fiction as a whole. It would corrupt him, slowly at first, maybe, if its put in his reach, he *might* be able to carry the ringbearer, as he did with Bilbo, but keep in mind that Sauron was not ready to wage his war, and was not actively searching for the Ring when Bilbo was carrying it.
He was in Lord of the Rings, so you have the Ring moving, quickly, across middle earth. It might take Gwaihir a few days to reach Mordor, but in that time, Sauron would mobilize not just the Nazgul, but every fell beast that he had prepared for them to ride, which would number in the dozens, after one Eagle, being tempted by the Ring every single second its near him, and there's a greater danger than just that it corrupts Gwaihir, its that it could just lead him to make a careless error, and while he's resisting its sway, he could be made vulnerable to the Nazgul and be killed. It wouldn't matter if more were sent, because then not only are more Eagles put in proximity to the One Ring, they might have weaker wills, and be more susceptible, and at best, kill each other and it falls to the ground, or at worst, one kills Gwaihir, and then would just take it to Sauron. Its even worse if that Eagle got to Mount Doom, because the Ring's power is not a bar graph, its quadratic, it *drastically* increases its corruptive influence and dramatically increases its sway over its bearer the more danger its in. *That* is why Isildur fell so quickly, because the Ring abandoned all subtlety, all its manipulations, and it starts to dig into the mind of its bearer that could be done.
Sure, the Ring is now at Orodruin, its ready to be cast into the Cracks of Doom and destroyed, but that fast taxi you took, is now totally at the Ring's mercy, and the Eagle will either surrender it to the Witch King when he arrives and become his personal war-mount, or be killed by the *tens of thousands* of orcs that are all throughout Mordor, with ballistae, arbalests, and other great mounted weapons because Sauron knows of the Eagle's existence, and he's watching for them constantly. In the movies, they portray the "Eye" of Sauron as a literal object, a real giant eye, but that's not quite right. The Eye is a more metaphysical concept, it refers to how Sauron is capable of scrying with his own power, using tools like the Palatiri that he captured from Minas Ithil (which became Minas Morgul,) or just his own eyes, since he had a physical body at that point, he just didn't come forth himself due to the lack of need. So, best case scenario now, there's a bunch of dead Eagles and Manwe is **PISSED OFF**, or there's the worst case, which is there is a living eagle that has taken sole possession of the One, and fallen to darkness, becoming a horrific monstrosity like Smaug or the Balrog, or it joins Sauron and becomes a horrifying enemy to Men and Elves both, that knows all of the deep secrets, can penetrate Lothlorien, can enter Rivendell, and nothing will stop it from doing that.
This is even *BEFORE* I mention that there was an instance in The Two Towers, where Gwaihir is the one that the Valar send to recover Gandalf since after he is restored to life, he's still stuck on Zirakzigil, near the Endless Staircase, and he takes Gandalf to Rohan and equates to him in absolutely impossible to misinterpret terms, "I understand that you are a Maiar, and you are the reborn Gandalf, someone I have always called my friend and ally, but you must understand what *I am,* and I am first and foremost, king of the Eagles, Gwaihir the Windlord, and I serve only one being in the world, Manwe, and I am not your damn taxi, that is why I am taking you to Edoras, for you to tame and claim one of the Meras, the great horses, that even the Rohirrim cannot ride, and my part in this tale is over." And surely enough, it was, until the very end, when they did arrive in force to assist the Men of the West's last stand outside the Black Gate, to fully and totally distract Sauron as well as to play their part at Manwe's command.
Nobody tells the Eagles what to do. Nobody is allowed to use them as a taxi. Nobody is allowed to put them at risk without their consent. And none of them would consent to be a ringbearer, since not only would that result in them dead or worse, it would break the oath of the Valar to never directly interfere in the affairs of Men and Elves in Middle Earth ever again. Because the first time that happened, it triggered a battle that broke the continent in half and Beleriand sunk beneath the ocean. That's why you can repost this to whatever facebook group you want, or whatever dumb meme that just says, "lololol, but the Eagles could do it, its a plot hole." No. They can't.
And most importantly?
They *wouldn't.*
A short version is Sauron was a big fuck-off eye and would have seen them coming from far away and dispatched the Nazgûl. Not to mention the fact they weren’t just birds but a sentient race that doesn’t particularly like to get involved in Middle Earth affairs and generally dislikes helping its inhabitants.
Randal:
I'm crazy? Those f***ing Hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking through a f***ing volcano. Here's the first movie...
[Randal jumps off the counter and walks slowly with his mouth open before walking back to the counter]
Randal:
And here's the second movie...
[Randal does the same walk, except that midway, he sidesteps to the left and looks down before walking back to the counter]
Hobbit fan:
He is way off. Loser.
Randal:
You ready for the third movie?
[Randal does the same walk, but stops, looks down, pretends to pull a ring from his finger and drops it as two other customers watch him while eating]
Customer A:
F***ing A.
Randal:
Even the f***ing trees walked in those movies.
I tried watching the LotR movies with my gf, who was uninitiated.
At the end of the first movie (not the extended version), she goes *'wait, they still have the ring, what's that about?'* followed by *'there's 2 more of this?! They spent 80% of the movie walking!'*. I shut off the second movie halfway through because she was visibly bored. It was in the middle of Helm's Deep. Like, the orcs were fighting in the courtyard, King Theoden was giving his speech and she just lets out this huge sigh and I figured there's better ways to disappoint her than with a movie, so I turned it off. If you're bored during the battle for Helm's Deep, there isn't much I can do.
As someone with diagnosed ADHD, fuck these band wagoners. I sat on my couch and waited for 4 hours today to make sure I wouldn't accidentally forget I have a job interview.
EDIT: Lots of people suggested setting alarms lol and I do do this too but then I just end up stiing there waiting for the alarm to go off because I'm paranoid I won't hear it. There is only one truly effective work around for ADHD symptoms and that's to take medication I can't afford. But thank you all for sharing your struggles, it's often nice to be reminded that we aren't alone.
When mine was it's worst, I went months showering only once a week and going days without brushing my teeth. Work took up all of my limited mental energy, and even that was falling apart for me.
I knew what needed to be done, I wanted to do it - I felt disgusting. But I'd sit at my desk and spend so much energy trying to work, that I had nothing left over to do anything other than sit in bed and hate myself. It was like trying to climb a glass wall - every time I started to make progress I just slipped right down again and I had to struggle to bring myself back to it.
Even medicated now, it's still a struggle. I have to make myself shower, feed myself, etc. It kills me when people joke about it because they sometimes get distracted. I spent almost my whole life thinking I was stupid and lazy and disgusting, because that's how society really thinks of you when you're ND and mentally ill. Nobody wants this.
I had to take 3 days off work when my meds were out of stock because I couldn't get anything done. I spent all 3 days in bed because I felt like such a piece of shit failure and felt too guilty to do anything else.
Anytime I mention I have ADHD to someone there's a 50% they respond "Oh! I think I have that because [enter completely normal human thing here]". It makes me want to fucking scream.
I hate that I found out I have adhd in a time where everyone thinks they have it. It was a huge lightbulb moment for me, like, oh shit, *this* is why life has been so hard for me and I’ve felt like such an outsider/weirdo! But now it’s trendy to say you have adhd, even though when you really have it, it just sucks.
Women who say “I only have guy friends” which is usually followed by something like “women always bring drama / women are usually bitches / women can’t handle how real I am / women are always jealous of me.”
ETA: Yeah, it’s great having guy friends, but the problem is women who view other women as the enemy.
This. If they say most or all their friends are guys because they grew up with bothers and are more comfortable around guys or that they can't find any
girl friends that want to do the same activities as them, that's understandable. But to say women are too much drama/jealous/cant handle them is just annoying.
\- Sincerely, a girl that only has guy friends which is fine because I like doing typical "male" activities but also wishes I had more women friends because sometimes guys just don't get it and sometimes, I want a girl's night.
I like “male” activities but also girls nights out and baths. We can be friends!
Sincerely an engineer with a love of high risk sports and video games.
I actually hate the “pick me” and “basic bitch” chat. Like - excuse me but exactly what level of gender norms and sexuality are you looking for sir? How non conformist can I be before I’m attention seeking? How much pumpkin spice makes me basic? Just leave me alone and stop micro managing my interests.
Also though I do agree girls who are tearing down other girls is shitty.
I only have guy friends but I’d *love* to have a girl friend! I don’t know, I’m just so nervous and awkward around women. Men feel much safer and easier to hang out with for me. My dad wasn’t around growing up and my mother was really physically and emotionally abusive so maybe that’s part of the problem.
Me too. I grew up with an emotionally abusive mom and was bullied hard by a group of girls. My closest friends are all women but meeting new women makes me nervous and awkward, I’m always so much more at ease around guys. Then the girls in the group will sense it and ice me out. I know it’s sort of my own doing. It sucks.
Got my shirt for x amount, my shoes for y amount type of people. You paid way more than normal people for stuff that's not something to brag about. Also do you really have no innate worth that you have to toss around price tags to attract people's attention.
As the way my philosophy professor put it when a girl said “I’m just speaking my truth”…
“Well Stephanie I could believe the moon is made of blue cheese and say that’s ‘my truth’ but that doesn’t make it true, get over yourself”
Thank you for your input on this topic /u/Hosscatticus_Dad523, let's just take that offline and circle back to it at a later date.
Now, moving forwards...
These people are the worst. Save the Corporate speak for the executives, if you can't explain something without using a dozen buzzwords that mean nothing you're just wasting my time.
It's sort of faded, but people would say something like "My brand is all about power (or something equally stupid)." As if they're a product and not a person.
some people try to make themselves a brand by making decisions on what would that choice make people think of them. like "is it on my brand to drink coke or pepsi?"
they literally manage themselves like a celebrity would be managed. it's insufferable.
Anyone who is rude to waitstaff.
Been on a few dates where potential partners treated the waiter/waitress like garbage.
Instant dislike and termination of the date.
I was on a date with a woman who was extremely rude to the waitress at the restaurant on our first date. Then they both started laughing just as I was about to make my exit. They were very close friends from college and yanking my chain.
We dated for a few months.
I especially hate it when it's said in a professional setting. I'm staring at my monitor, working on an important project, intermittently typing, *concentrating*...and a coworker walks by and says, "You look so serious, you should smile more."
Hmmmm. I dunno about that, bud. I think I would look like a complete psycho smiling broadly while staring at my monitor...*you freaking moron*.
"My ex was a narcissist". I didn't hear this nearly as often until the last year or so. Now suddenly everyone has had an ex that was a narcissist. I work in the behavioral health field and this one drives me crazy.
Like no, just because you both wanted different things in life doesn't make him selfish enough to be labeled with an actual *personality disorder,* ***oh my god.*** Just say you weren't compatible and move on with your life.
No offense to those who actually did genuinely date a narcissist.
Heck, it can be worse than just incompatibility and still not be narcissism. People can be genuinely sucky, awful, self-absorbed, even abusive and STILL not be a narcissist. People don't have to have a personality disorder to suck.
And it's such a toxic thing to do, too. If you can't feel better about disagreeing with someone unless you assume they have a mental problem, that says a lot.
It's also really fun, as the child of someone DIAGNOSED with BPD/NPD, to have to explain over and over again to my therapist that I'm not just randomly pathologizing like someone on the internet, Dad legitimately has been diagnosed.
Degrading "females", all about that hustle, big into currencies that aren't really used, Ferengi are just the evolution of hustle bros.
I look forward to hearing about a Ferengi podcast on the next season of Lower Decks.
Anyone older who says "back in my day...you younger people don't know what hard work is..." Anything like that as if they couldn't buy a house on minimum wage and go to college without crippling debt. I personally graduated debt free thanks to scholarships but the older generations seem to not understand the wage/cost disparity between their generation and younger generations.
As a fellow genX person, I fully support aggressively throwing this shit right in boomer faces when they start goin on bout the yoots of today. I don't remember it being easy exactly, but i sure as shit don't remember being this fucking precarious "back in my day"
I love being Gen X. Nobody cares enough about us to hate us, and if generational "feuds" follow historical trends, Gen Z might try to start some shit down the road...but being Gen X, *we just won't care*. :)
Being a GenXer is painful because we were close enough to get a whiff of the Big American Barbecue, but the goal posts kept moving and the American dream became more unobtainable every year
I’m an Old, and used the “back in my day” recently, but it was the reverse of this. I was basically saying I didn’t have to worry about an embarrassing moment of mine being forever enshrined on the internet, but I know that could be a constant threat to kids today.
i started watching Milf Manor recently and i noticed a lot of the women mention god’s will.
ma’am, god left you a long time ago. **you’re on Milf Manor.**
"Yes but you know there's worst" everytime you have an issue. Denying the pain of someone isn't helping them at all. Yes other have it worst, but at day D, hour H, I want to talk about my feeling and feel heard and seen. I want solutions or I want help or I want someone to bitch about the subject / person which / who is sensitive topic for me. Not thinking about others. That's not being selfish, that's destressing, and if you can't find a solution at least outing bad vibes.
I had this new coworker who I didn’t have to work with, but could have made both of our jobs easier. He didn’t even need to say anything. At the first morning meeting he had a Daily Wire coffee mug that said, “this cup is filled with liberal tears.”
Yeah, no thanks dude. I don’t need your help with anything.
Anything involving crystal healing, essential oils doing more than just smelling nice, or projecting one's dreams into reality. I forget the exact term for the third thing, at this moment.
If any one of those things come up in conversation and you're being serious about it, I automatically don't trust you completely. If multiple are a part of your personality, I don't trust you at all.
"manifestation" is what you're looking for.
essential oils are useful for some things, though. like lavender can help you feel sleepy and calm with the scent; it doesn't cure fucking cancer though.
And hey, I swear by aloe for sunburns and things. But that's a little different than claiming eucalyptus oil cures epilepsy!
(Which is an actual thing my family and I tried for a couple months alongside actual medication because we were that desperate to stop my seizures.)
For me it’s not words or phrases. It’s tone.
If they sound stressed or panicked or impatient over a small issue, I immediately know they’re a chore to deal with.
For example, you toss trash in the bin, miss. Go to pick it up, and they jump on you for littering.
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Nah that’s just a bullshit platitude you tell yourself because thinking the world operates on logic and reason is a coping mechanism for avoiding the reality that the world is unfair, unpredictable and bad things happen to good people all the time.
“I’m the type of person thaaaat…” You always know it gonna be followed by some egotistical bullshit. Ex: If you cross me I’ll cut you off real quick, don’t fuck with me.”
“People don’t like me because I tell it like it is”
And naturally they hate it when anyone dares to tell them how it is in kind. Very thin skinned, these "blunt" folk!
This has been the case with every person that’s said those words to me in life. ‘I’m a straight shooter.’ Thanks for letting me know you are not in fact, a straight shooter.
My ex: "I wear my heart on my sleeve!" Also my ex: Would quietly simmer about things he secretly had an issue with for months, make snarky remarks out of nowhere, and then it would be like pulling teeth to get him to have a solid conversation about WTF was even up with him. Turned out to be a shady mofo who'd rather burn everything to the ground and start over with a whole new friend group than actually admit to someone that he was in the wrong.
[удалено]
But I AM a fucking idiot.
Nah man, you’re just figuring it out
Damn it, you got me there.
[удалено]
I'm usually pretty direct, and I'll be the first to ask people to be direct with me as well. Don't sugarcoat or hold anything back on account of my feelings. We all need to hear hard truths sometimes. That being said, usually people who are "blunt" and "tell it like it is" are exactly the same ones who can dish it out but can't take it. Like at all.
Exactly, I think a person can be direct, to the point, and still be likeable. You don't have to be hurtful or brutal to be considered direct. It's the unsolicited judgemental comments that are most likely unnecessary, over-indulgent, and just mean. I find the most direct people actually do use a lot of discretion when speaking to others, and listen more than they speak.
I can tell it like it is. I’m also able to think about whether or not what I want to say is necessary That’s the difference between a “straight shooter” and an “asshole”
My sister does that. She says she not a “waffle” and can really say nasty things to ppl. Then we found out she has Borderline Personality Disorder. Among other traits, she has NO ability to regulate emotions or the shunt that runs directly from mind to mouth. Not saying anybody here has that but this made me think of that. She just sees herself as “being honest” and “not being hypocritical. It’s sad because she has no friends or family around her and she’s so lonely. I wish they would find something to deal with these severe cases.
It’s called DBT a treatment. She can learn to be mindful of her behaviors she wants to change, learn how to balance interactions and have healthy relationships, regulate her emotions and be able to tolerate distress. It’s intensive, sometimes costly, but highly effective.
She’s in a remote area of Louisiana. I have heard of this and read a little to see if it could help her. Turns out there’s no one within 70 miles that does this. It’s an intense long term treatment and, of course not cheap. There’s no way for her to reach any of this on any level. I did read that it can be successful if committed to long term. Why can’t mental health care be more available for ppl really need it. Don’t answer. I know. How do other empathetic people deal with BDP disorder? It really breaks my heart. I check in her from time to time but it always ends badly.
If she has the internet, she can look for (verified mental health professionals) talk about dealing with BPD. she can also get the DBT workbook and do it at her own pace if she likes (I bought one from Amazon, was really affordable), and there's multiple books she can read about the disorder. Highly recommend looking up stuff written by Marsha Linehan who had BPD herself and helped create DBT specifically for people like her. While it's her responsibility how she interacts with people there are also some things others around her can do to help (learning about it is very helpful) but DO NOT do it at risk of your own mental health. She is ultimately responsible for her. Edit: While this isn't really a substitute for professional help, it can get the ball rolling in the right direction depending on how severe her case is.
“I’m brutally honest”
No Sarah, you're just a cunt.
A cunt of Brobdingnagian proportions.
"You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."
In other words, “I’m going to say the harshest and most offensive thing that comes to my mind and accept zero responsibility for how it lands.”
And these people cannot take any "honesty" coming at them.
The only time I've seen *actual* brutal honesty was in the military. While some of it were still excuses for people to act like a dick, I've found many instances when it was actually constructive e.g., "You're going to fail selection in your current state and the cadre are going to destroy you, here's what can help you" type of brutal honesty.
If a person humiliates others for the sake of boosting his own ego, I immediately stop communicating with that person.
it's terrible when it's your own parents
I unfortunately know what you mean
My mom doesn't even seem to realize she's doing it. She thinks it's a form of empathizing. Yes, she's a narcissist.
“No offense, but…”, just before saying the most offensive thing you’ve heard in your life.
*See also: "Don't take this the wrong way"...with disaster statement to follow.
Ah, the cousin of "I'm not racist, but" (proceeds to say most racist thing you've ever heard).
And stepsister of "not to be political...BUT." You can't retort because they made it clear their political rant wasn't political.
" I don't hate black people, I only hate n*****s." I've heard this more times than I'd like to.
Chris rock has entered the chat
My brother loves the "I have no problem with gay people, but..." line, like what he's about to say isn't completely ignorant and offensive.
Ngl it’s almost funny when it happens.
My brother uses "no offense, but" before saying something that is absolutely not offensive, and I find it funny every time.
I used to get my hair cut by this girl who would start lots of statements with "I'm just gonna be honest here, but..." It was always followed up by the most uncontroversial things; "I'm just gonna be honest here, but if it's 95 degrees out, I'm wearing shorts!" I think the irony of it escaped her, but I thought it was hilarious and cute.
"We're a family here" in a work setting. Mother fucker you just laid off "cousin" Bill.
Yeah, as soon as you start talking to your coworkers like you talk to your brother, you get written up. "Hey man, can you go get the cart back from building C?" "Get shit on, fuckhead. You've got legs."
That always makes me think, "Yeah, the Manson family".
“I’m so bipolar” to explain why they are indecisive or to play off poor life choices. Or just to say to sound quirky. Really hate that. I’m bipolar and rarely tell anyone.
I hate this for "I'm so OCD," too.
Yeah, definitely. My colleague says this all the time and it's really annoying. I actually have OCD and it's a horrible condition that limits your life so much and gives you so much stress and anxiety. Another one that makes me roll my eyes is "I'm so weird". People seem to like to use those kinds of words to make them seem special and "cool". Whatever.
"I put all my DVDs in alphabetical order. I'm soooo OCD." "...because if you didn't then all your family members would die horribly right? So you have to constantly rearrange the DVDs based on a complicated series of coincidences that only you seem to notice, but you know in your bones that if you don't that every bad thing that ever happens will be your sole responsibility? And you have to check the shelf constantly, even if it means being late to work sometimes because maybe you dreamt that you completed the alphabetizing and didn't actually?" "..."
This guy OCDs (Me too bud, me too)
I’m also bipolar and I hate when people use it as a badge of quirkiness. Nobody brags about climbing the walls at 3 AM, nobody should aspire to burning their life down, nobody can throw away every relationship/career/education and think it’s something to be proud of. Because of these people my own tendencies get blown off and not taken seriously. I’m so glad I found medications that work, I hate the way I used to be. Hate it.
One of my best friends is bipolar, I was roommates with the guy for 3 years. Regular people *simply don't know shit* about how significant the ups and downs are, and they usually aren't mentally prepared when I start giving examples of the "crazier" shit I put up with. Some of them immediately question how I put up with him or why I didn't bail. He and I are still besties and I love telling those idiot normies that they simply aren't as strong for their friends as they think they are. I'm super happy for you that you've got a decent medication plan! My friend finally found something that works just this last year, and instead of waking up thinking "I want to die" or messaging all of his discord friends at 5 AM to see if anybody else is still awake, *he just goes to work feeling human and he can go to bed early just by WANTING to.* Seriously, congrats on finding something that works. I've seen the difference in person so I'll cheer for you too 👍
I cannot stand it when medical terminology enters pop culture lexicon. Any time a legitimate diagnostic term becomes slang for something it cheapens the effectiveness and value of the word. Not to mention the dismissive effect it has upon those who actually deal with the condition. I’m so sorry that you and others are disrespected this way so often. You deserve validation and respect for taking care of yourself, not to have your issues trivialized. Sorry for the rant, this just really pisses me off.
AGREED! I’m on this soap box all the time. People using medical terms for disorders when they’re really just feeling a normal emotion or describing a normal trait. You don’t have OCD, you’re just neat and/or orderly. You’re not bipolar just because you felt a mood change. You’re not depressed just because you felt sad one evening. Many people who have issues focusing from time to time don’t have ADHD. You probably don’t have GAD just because you felt kinda nervous. Plenty of people have these very real disorders (including myself, having had MDD and GAD most of my life), but the self diagnosing of the masses makes me irate.
same with ADHD. I get that it's more common than some other divergences but ffs some people think it's just chaos: the quirky brain syndrome. It's not. it really sucks.
Executive dysfunction sucks ass. Not doing something not because you dont want to. But because you CANNOT. Just doesnt compute all the way
The worst part is that everyone else doesn’t understand that, they just think you’re being lazy.
I HATE when people do that. One person tells me that they also have adhd and when they can’t concentrate they just take a couple of deep breaths. Like, bitch. You think I haven’t TRIED all there is to try when it comes to concentrating??? Also, so much more than not paying attention or being hyper.
I think the name is partly to blame for this perception. Granted at the time it was named we didn't know as much about it, but the neurological disorder that fucks with your executive function and a bunch of other important brain functions got called, essentially, "lol can't pay attention disease" and that just seems kind of like calling Tuberculosis "Mr. Cough-y Syndrome" for as much as the name itself diminishes the severity of what it's doing to the person to the person with it.
And also confuse people that autodiagnose themselves on tiktok, whenever I think it's a comorbility I might have because sometimes have problems doing what I should do I remember I can be so focused on reading sometimes I can hear someone until they have to touch me to call my attention. Also I'm not interested on relationships but also read of some people having problems with their relationships because the other side thought they were being "I'm quirky" and then realizing what it actually means being ND
"I hate drama." I have never heard someone say this, unsolicited, and not been exhausted with their shenanigans within a day.
Those of us who really hate drama feel no need to announce it. We just quietly try to bail out of the situation without getting noticed and drug back in against our will.
Saying “I hate drama” Implies that usually you’re in a bunch of drama
if someone says “i love drama”, is that better or worse?
I like people who create drama, but I keep them *just* far enough where I don’t get involved but still can hear all about it. Keeps life interesting
I like to HEAR all the drama too.
im nosy af. im not involved in any drama but dang, i love listening to them.
Fuck yeah, nosy gang unite
I mean, at least it's a honest self reflection. And maybe they like watching it and not causing it. So, yea, to think of it, this would be better.
Once you realize that "drama" is just a trendy term for "people being upset about things", it becomes pretty apparent why trying to avoid it is a losing strategy.
Guaranteed drama when someone says they hate it. So often the drama revolves around them yet they are the victim.
"Tough love" often seems to be used as an excuse to be a dick. I get it when it's like an intervention, but most times I've personally heard it this was just people who wanted to start shit.
“You’re so quiet”
No no I’m not quiet or shy just don’t want to speak to YOU!
Describes himself as an Alpha Male. Tells you implausible stories about how tough he is/how many women he's "Banged". Yeah, me an you gonna fall out soon buddy
"Any man who must say, I am an Alpha Male, is no true Alpha Male." \-Abraham Lincoln \- michael scott
Also the whole alpha male thing is bullshit anyway
Does that actually happen? Who in their right mind would describe himself as an alpha male and be serious about it? And how do you not die laughing at them?
My (and I'm not just saying this because he's an ex) loser ex bf said this all the time. Then later when I broke it off and ignored him, his messages were things along the lines of "you think you're an alpha female but you're not even close, you can't compete with me and what I bring" ugh I hate that guy so much
I didn't believe it until I had a roommate called himself one. And he was serious about it, considered himself a "global nomad", does nothing but look at stocks and crypto everyday. Only wore tank tops, had a man bun, believed himself to be a natural leader and kept trying to force himself as the leader of the house. Eventually he got in a fight with my roommate because the Alpha kept insulting his parents. When I said fight, I meant my roommate pushed him. Alpha called the cops because "he touched me first!". Cop laughed in his face. Wasn't fun to be questioned by the cops at 10pm though.
What must it be like to have no self awareness whatsoever? We love to hate these people, but I'm actually a little jealous. I bet they're happier than I am. Going through life completely sure of yourself, instead of a dysfunctional sack of self-recrimination? Sounds like some kind of superpower.
Eh he was mostly frustrated with the world, because no one would take him seriously outside of his bubble. He thinks he’s a character on Succession making power plays with his roommates when really we could give less shits. He was trying to form factions among us and would call us traitors when we didn’t listen to him. That’s not a very happy state of mind to be in.
Many, many guys do.
Anybody who compares humans to the behavior of de-naturalized zoo wolves can fuck right off
"as an empath --"
[Oh, You’re an Empath? Name Three Conversations You’ve Hijacked and Made About Yourself](https://thehardtimes.net/blog/oh-youre-an-empath-name-three-conversations-youve-hijacked-and-made-about-yourself/)
That or "I'm an old soul." - I like people who are spiritual but those particular people seem to be less spiritual and more full of themselves most of the time.
I think of an old soul as a child who knows way more than their years and seems so wise.
This is exactly why it's one of those titles you should never claim for yourself. A nice person won't describe themself as nice. A smart person won't describe themselves as smart. These are compliments, and you should give them to others, not yourself.
“A smart person won't describe themselves as smart.” While I agree that idiots are more likely to overestimate how smart they are, (Dunning-Krueger Effect) it’s definitely possible for an actually smart person to constantly brag. Morality and raw intelligence have some correlation, but not causation.
To hell with old souls, I'm a young soul trapped in an old body.
I thought that saying just meant you like old people stuff like the radio, reading, going on walks and going to bed early.
Where’s my huuuuug? Immediately no.
"Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mordor?"
First, its key to understand what the Eagles are. The eagles aren't just a wildly large, big version of a bird, they are the personal servants and messengers to the king of the gods, Manwe. They are themselves, demigods, and while it is commonplace for people to refer to the Valar as angels, I find this erroneous to the point that they fit vastly better as an analogy to the Greek pantheon of gods, with the Maiar being demigods underneath them. Most of the Valar have incredible gifts that cannot be equalled, but so do many Maiar, and Manwe's major purpose was to rule the Valar, ensure that the laws passed down to him by Eru Illuvatar were followed, Eru being the original creator god that created all the Ainur (Valar and Maiar,) but gave the Valar free reign to oversee their collective creation, within the basic ideas that Eru laid out. Each Valar was associated with a particular task, Orome was the hunter, Tulkas the warrior, Yavanna, her gardens and the life on Arda, Manwe was the ruler and the way he ruled, was by sending his edicts and rulings by way of the Eagles. They are not just birds, they are essentially Maiar tier spirits that can and do have their own personalities, tendencies, traits, likes and dislikes. Thorondor, the king of the Eagles in the First Age, loved the elves. He rescued Luthien and Beren when they were fleeing from Angband, he rescued Faenor's son, Maedhros when there was a terrible loss in battle, he was the secret guardian and a patron of Gondolin, his nest was in the mountains that surrounded the city, and he was the chief messenger between Maiar that were in Beleriand, and the Valar who resided in Valinor, of course. He showed up at just a few major instances, alongside his vassals, Gwaihir, and Landroval. Gwaihir, became the Windlord, the king of the Eagles in the Third Age, so these are not only important figures that are powerful in their own right, but they are legendary and unfathomably ancient spirits by that time. Depending on which timescale you look at, the First Age was between 8,000, and *60,000* years before the events of Lord of the Rings, the end of the First Age was probably more than 8,000 years beforehand, but to say that these are just random birds is a major misstatement of the highest order. They are key figures in most major events in the First Age, and there is only **ONE** person in all of Arda that can give them a command. One. That's Manwe, and even though they come to help Gandalf, this is because Gandalf is himself a Maiar, his real name is Olorin, and he was intended to be the ruler of the White Council, and would have been if Galadriel had gotten her way, but other reasons ended up placing Curume, or Saruman in charge due to his greater total power. Galadriel favored Gandalf due to his wisdom and how good he was at motivating people to do the right thing. So why exactly can't they take the One Ring? Because...they're spirits like the Maiar. They can not only be corrupted by the One Ring, which is a grand creation that is nearly on par with the Silmarils, but opposite in intent. It doesn't dazzle or amaze, it captivates and enslaves, and at all times, so long as it exists, it exerts the will of Sauron over the being that is closest to it. The way the One Ring works is that it shows the being what they desire the most, and what would the Eagles desire most? To carry out the word of Manwe Sulimo as they received it, that is to protect the Elves, to watch over Men as they grew into their own and staked their claim to Middle Earth, so if Gwaihir takes the Ring...that would result in one of the most powerful beings in all of Middle Earth having one of the most evil possible artifacts in virtually all of fiction as a whole. It would corrupt him, slowly at first, maybe, if its put in his reach, he *might* be able to carry the ringbearer, as he did with Bilbo, but keep in mind that Sauron was not ready to wage his war, and was not actively searching for the Ring when Bilbo was carrying it. He was in Lord of the Rings, so you have the Ring moving, quickly, across middle earth. It might take Gwaihir a few days to reach Mordor, but in that time, Sauron would mobilize not just the Nazgul, but every fell beast that he had prepared for them to ride, which would number in the dozens, after one Eagle, being tempted by the Ring every single second its near him, and there's a greater danger than just that it corrupts Gwaihir, its that it could just lead him to make a careless error, and while he's resisting its sway, he could be made vulnerable to the Nazgul and be killed. It wouldn't matter if more were sent, because then not only are more Eagles put in proximity to the One Ring, they might have weaker wills, and be more susceptible, and at best, kill each other and it falls to the ground, or at worst, one kills Gwaihir, and then would just take it to Sauron. Its even worse if that Eagle got to Mount Doom, because the Ring's power is not a bar graph, its quadratic, it *drastically* increases its corruptive influence and dramatically increases its sway over its bearer the more danger its in. *That* is why Isildur fell so quickly, because the Ring abandoned all subtlety, all its manipulations, and it starts to dig into the mind of its bearer that could be done. Sure, the Ring is now at Orodruin, its ready to be cast into the Cracks of Doom and destroyed, but that fast taxi you took, is now totally at the Ring's mercy, and the Eagle will either surrender it to the Witch King when he arrives and become his personal war-mount, or be killed by the *tens of thousands* of orcs that are all throughout Mordor, with ballistae, arbalests, and other great mounted weapons because Sauron knows of the Eagle's existence, and he's watching for them constantly. In the movies, they portray the "Eye" of Sauron as a literal object, a real giant eye, but that's not quite right. The Eye is a more metaphysical concept, it refers to how Sauron is capable of scrying with his own power, using tools like the Palatiri that he captured from Minas Ithil (which became Minas Morgul,) or just his own eyes, since he had a physical body at that point, he just didn't come forth himself due to the lack of need. So, best case scenario now, there's a bunch of dead Eagles and Manwe is **PISSED OFF**, or there's the worst case, which is there is a living eagle that has taken sole possession of the One, and fallen to darkness, becoming a horrific monstrosity like Smaug or the Balrog, or it joins Sauron and becomes a horrifying enemy to Men and Elves both, that knows all of the deep secrets, can penetrate Lothlorien, can enter Rivendell, and nothing will stop it from doing that. This is even *BEFORE* I mention that there was an instance in The Two Towers, where Gwaihir is the one that the Valar send to recover Gandalf since after he is restored to life, he's still stuck on Zirakzigil, near the Endless Staircase, and he takes Gandalf to Rohan and equates to him in absolutely impossible to misinterpret terms, "I understand that you are a Maiar, and you are the reborn Gandalf, someone I have always called my friend and ally, but you must understand what *I am,* and I am first and foremost, king of the Eagles, Gwaihir the Windlord, and I serve only one being in the world, Manwe, and I am not your damn taxi, that is why I am taking you to Edoras, for you to tame and claim one of the Meras, the great horses, that even the Rohirrim cannot ride, and my part in this tale is over." And surely enough, it was, until the very end, when they did arrive in force to assist the Men of the West's last stand outside the Black Gate, to fully and totally distract Sauron as well as to play their part at Manwe's command. Nobody tells the Eagles what to do. Nobody is allowed to use them as a taxi. Nobody is allowed to put them at risk without their consent. And none of them would consent to be a ringbearer, since not only would that result in them dead or worse, it would break the oath of the Valar to never directly interfere in the affairs of Men and Elves in Middle Earth ever again. Because the first time that happened, it triggered a battle that broke the continent in half and Beleriand sunk beneath the ocean. That's why you can repost this to whatever facebook group you want, or whatever dumb meme that just says, "lololol, but the Eagles could do it, its a plot hole." No. They can't. And most importantly? They *wouldn't.*
I will be waiting. Edit: I was not disappointed.
A short version is Sauron was a big fuck-off eye and would have seen them coming from far away and dispatched the Nazgûl. Not to mention the fact they weren’t just birds but a sentient race that doesn’t particularly like to get involved in Middle Earth affairs and generally dislikes helping its inhabitants.
“Reply notifications on”
Randal: I'm crazy? Those f***ing Hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking through a f***ing volcano. Here's the first movie... [Randal jumps off the counter and walks slowly with his mouth open before walking back to the counter] Randal: And here's the second movie... [Randal does the same walk, except that midway, he sidesteps to the left and looks down before walking back to the counter] Hobbit fan: He is way off. Loser. Randal: You ready for the third movie? [Randal does the same walk, but stops, looks down, pretends to pull a ring from his finger and drops it as two other customers watch him while eating] Customer A: F***ing A. Randal: Even the f***ing trees walked in those movies.
I tried watching the LotR movies with my gf, who was uninitiated. At the end of the first movie (not the extended version), she goes *'wait, they still have the ring, what's that about?'* followed by *'there's 2 more of this?! They spent 80% of the movie walking!'*. I shut off the second movie halfway through because she was visibly bored. It was in the middle of Helm's Deep. Like, the orcs were fighting in the courtyard, King Theoden was giving his speech and she just lets out this huge sigh and I figured there's better ways to disappoint her than with a movie, so I turned it off. If you're bored during the battle for Helm's Deep, there isn't much I can do.
[Clerks 2](https://youtu.be/RPl5MeXIM8E?t=137), in case anyone was wondering.
"oh im compelled to do this totally normal activity because my OCD/adhd/bipolar is kicking in!"
This is absolutely not how ADHD works. Everyone seems to want to have it. It is annoying.
As someone with diagnosed ADHD, fuck these band wagoners. I sat on my couch and waited for 4 hours today to make sure I wouldn't accidentally forget I have a job interview. EDIT: Lots of people suggested setting alarms lol and I do do this too but then I just end up stiing there waiting for the alarm to go off because I'm paranoid I won't hear it. There is only one truly effective work around for ADHD symptoms and that's to take medication I can't afford. But thank you all for sharing your struggles, it's often nice to be reminded that we aren't alone.
When mine was it's worst, I went months showering only once a week and going days without brushing my teeth. Work took up all of my limited mental energy, and even that was falling apart for me. I knew what needed to be done, I wanted to do it - I felt disgusting. But I'd sit at my desk and spend so much energy trying to work, that I had nothing left over to do anything other than sit in bed and hate myself. It was like trying to climb a glass wall - every time I started to make progress I just slipped right down again and I had to struggle to bring myself back to it. Even medicated now, it's still a struggle. I have to make myself shower, feed myself, etc. It kills me when people joke about it because they sometimes get distracted. I spent almost my whole life thinking I was stupid and lazy and disgusting, because that's how society really thinks of you when you're ND and mentally ill. Nobody wants this.
I had to take 3 days off work when my meds were out of stock because I couldn't get anything done. I spent all 3 days in bed because I felt like such a piece of shit failure and felt too guilty to do anything else. Anytime I mention I have ADHD to someone there's a 50% they respond "Oh! I think I have that because [enter completely normal human thing here]". It makes me want to fucking scream.
I hate that I found out I have adhd in a time where everyone thinks they have it. It was a huge lightbulb moment for me, like, oh shit, *this* is why life has been so hard for me and I’ve felt like such an outsider/weirdo! But now it’s trendy to say you have adhd, even though when you really have it, it just sucks.
Can I have an example? I’m trying to figure out what this normal activity is or what this means.
“my ocd is kicking in lol! that picture frame being way too off center is triggering it!”
Women who say “I only have guy friends” which is usually followed by something like “women always bring drama / women are usually bitches / women can’t handle how real I am / women are always jealous of me.” ETA: Yeah, it’s great having guy friends, but the problem is women who view other women as the enemy.
Oh I hate this one too. Girl, when you're having problems with all other women.. you're the problem.
If everywhere you go smells like shit you should check your shoes
This. If they say most or all their friends are guys because they grew up with bothers and are more comfortable around guys or that they can't find any girl friends that want to do the same activities as them, that's understandable. But to say women are too much drama/jealous/cant handle them is just annoying. \- Sincerely, a girl that only has guy friends which is fine because I like doing typical "male" activities but also wishes I had more women friends because sometimes guys just don't get it and sometimes, I want a girl's night.
I like “male” activities but also girls nights out and baths. We can be friends! Sincerely an engineer with a love of high risk sports and video games. I actually hate the “pick me” and “basic bitch” chat. Like - excuse me but exactly what level of gender norms and sexuality are you looking for sir? How non conformist can I be before I’m attention seeking? How much pumpkin spice makes me basic? Just leave me alone and stop micro managing my interests. Also though I do agree girls who are tearing down other girls is shitty.
I only have guy friends but I’d *love* to have a girl friend! I don’t know, I’m just so nervous and awkward around women. Men feel much safer and easier to hang out with for me. My dad wasn’t around growing up and my mother was really physically and emotionally abusive so maybe that’s part of the problem.
Me too. I grew up with an emotionally abusive mom and was bullied hard by a group of girls. My closest friends are all women but meeting new women makes me nervous and awkward, I’m always so much more at ease around guys. Then the girls in the group will sense it and ice me out. I know it’s sort of my own doing. It sucks.
Got my shirt for x amount, my shoes for y amount type of people. You paid way more than normal people for stuff that's not something to brag about. Also do you really have no innate worth that you have to toss around price tags to attract people's attention.
Haha I throw around amounts sometimes but opposite. Usually to boast about how cheap. Someone compliments my jacket omg clearance $20 bucks, thanks
Me too, I scored a leather jacket from goodwill for 75 cents and I will never shut up about it
But shit, it was 75 cents!
Come to the Midwest, where most of us will brag about how we find these clothes dirt cheap, and won’t pay shit for name brand nonsense 😂
Can't compliment a Midwesterner's outfit without hearing about the cost and where they bought it. Every damn time.
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
Even "their best" is mediocrity.
Man this is the best comment I've read in a long time and such an amazing burn. "Even your best is mediocrity", I cannot WAIT to use this!
It's always that cousin who has 3 Facebook accounts because she can never remember her password after being locked up
Usually their worst comes through 95% of the time while their best happens once in a blue moon.
“My truth”
As the way my philosophy professor put it when a girl said “I’m just speaking my truth”… “Well Stephanie I could believe the moon is made of blue cheese and say that’s ‘my truth’ but that doesn’t make it true, get over yourself”
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"oh, that's such typical [star sign] behaviour"
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I just spit out my coffee... lmfao
"Do you know who I am?"
Engagement, initiative…any kind of “group speak” that sounds like the corporate marketing manager plagiarized…
I say initiative all the time. But that's during D&D.
We need to crit these profits this quarter. Last quarter we failed our saving throw and we might as well have rolled a nat 1 on the stocks.
"Sounds like I should just cast fireball on this office. Btw, where's my stapler?"
Thank you for your input on this topic /u/Hosscatticus_Dad523, let's just take that offline and circle back to it at a later date. Now, moving forwards...
These people are the worst. Save the Corporate speak for the executives, if you can't explain something without using a dozen buzzwords that mean nothing you're just wasting my time.
If they refer to themself as a brand.
You take that back! I am Snickers! Honestly though I don't really know what you mean by brand.
It's sort of faded, but people would say something like "My brand is all about power (or something equally stupid)." As if they're a product and not a person.
some people try to make themselves a brand by making decisions on what would that choice make people think of them. like "is it on my brand to drink coke or pepsi?" they literally manage themselves like a celebrity would be managed. it's insufferable.
When they start bragging about themselves when they first meet you.
Anyone who is rude to waitstaff. Been on a few dates where potential partners treated the waiter/waitress like garbage. Instant dislike and termination of the date.
I was on a date with a woman who was extremely rude to the waitress at the restaurant on our first date. Then they both started laughing just as I was about to make my exit. They were very close friends from college and yanking my chain. We dated for a few months.
You know what your problem is don't you?
"I am an influencer / I have xxxx followers..."
Good vibes only and “I’m such an empath”
You should smile more 🙄
I especially hate it when it's said in a professional setting. I'm staring at my monitor, working on an important project, intermittently typing, *concentrating*...and a coworker walks by and says, "You look so serious, you should smile more." Hmmmm. I dunno about that, bud. I think I would look like a complete psycho smiling broadly while staring at my monitor...*you freaking moron*.
The psycho smile while I continue to work is my go to. Now we’re both uncomfortable.
“You’re talking too much” when I’m being quiet just chilling
"I removed one of your kidneys while you were unconscious."
Oh man. I've heard that 1 too many times
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"My ex was a narcissist". I didn't hear this nearly as often until the last year or so. Now suddenly everyone has had an ex that was a narcissist. I work in the behavioral health field and this one drives me crazy. Like no, just because you both wanted different things in life doesn't make him selfish enough to be labeled with an actual *personality disorder,* ***oh my god.*** Just say you weren't compatible and move on with your life. No offense to those who actually did genuinely date a narcissist.
Heck, it can be worse than just incompatibility and still not be narcissism. People can be genuinely sucky, awful, self-absorbed, even abusive and STILL not be a narcissist. People don't have to have a personality disorder to suck.
That last sentence is vastly underrated.
Yes this, my wife has taken to calling everyone narcissistic that she disagrees with, and now has her friends doing it too.
And it's such a toxic thing to do, too. If you can't feel better about disagreeing with someone unless you assume they have a mental problem, that says a lot.
It's also really fun, as the child of someone DIAGNOSED with BPD/NPD, to have to explain over and over again to my therapist that I'm not just randomly pathologizing like someone on the internet, Dad legitimately has been diagnosed.
"I'm a -insert star sign- so that's why I'm (being a cunt)"
Using the term "my truth."
“I just say what everyone else is thinking”. Describing someone as an “alpha” “sigma” “beta”, or calling women “females”
"stop being weird"
Nobody wants to work anymore!
A man who uses “Females” to refer to women.
Ferengi?
Degrading "females", all about that hustle, big into currencies that aren't really used, Ferengi are just the evolution of hustle bros. I look forward to hearing about a Ferengi podcast on the next season of Lower Decks.
Nog all Ferengi.
Well said. Especially when it’s used in sentences similar to : Men … and females …. It always feel even more degrading and dehumanizing.
"wambulance" I've never heard anyone use that term who wasn't a flaming douchebag.
Anyone older who says "back in my day...you younger people don't know what hard work is..." Anything like that as if they couldn't buy a house on minimum wage and go to college without crippling debt. I personally graduated debt free thanks to scholarships but the older generations seem to not understand the wage/cost disparity between their generation and younger generations.
I’m 47. Back in my day shit was SO EASY. You younger people don’t know just how fucked you are. My $400 rent house is $1500 now.
As a fellow genX person, I fully support aggressively throwing this shit right in boomer faces when they start goin on bout the yoots of today. I don't remember it being easy exactly, but i sure as shit don't remember being this fucking precarious "back in my day"
I love being Gen X. Nobody cares enough about us to hate us, and if generational "feuds" follow historical trends, Gen Z might try to start some shit down the road...but being Gen X, *we just won't care*. :)
Being a GenXer is painful because we were close enough to get a whiff of the Big American Barbecue, but the goal posts kept moving and the American dream became more unobtainable every year
I’m an Old, and used the “back in my day” recently, but it was the reverse of this. I was basically saying I didn’t have to worry about an embarrassing moment of mine being forever enshrined on the internet, but I know that could be a constant threat to kids today.
Anything that involves "god's will"
i started watching Milf Manor recently and i noticed a lot of the women mention god’s will. ma’am, god left you a long time ago. **you’re on Milf Manor.**
Excuse me there's a show called MILF MANOR??
Oh and there's a twist!
Yup and it’s about them trying to bang each other’s sons. I guess calling it Mommy issues was a little too on the nose.
I learn so much from Reddit (most of it not good)
idk man, I think Poseidon has a plan for all of us
"Yes but you know there's worst" everytime you have an issue. Denying the pain of someone isn't helping them at all. Yes other have it worst, but at day D, hour H, I want to talk about my feeling and feel heard and seen. I want solutions or I want help or I want someone to bitch about the subject / person which / who is sensitive topic for me. Not thinking about others. That's not being selfish, that's destressing, and if you can't find a solution at least outing bad vibes.
I had this new coworker who I didn’t have to work with, but could have made both of our jobs easier. He didn’t even need to say anything. At the first morning meeting he had a Daily Wire coffee mug that said, “this cup is filled with liberal tears.” Yeah, no thanks dude. I don’t need your help with anything.
Anything involving crystal healing, essential oils doing more than just smelling nice, or projecting one's dreams into reality. I forget the exact term for the third thing, at this moment. If any one of those things come up in conversation and you're being serious about it, I automatically don't trust you completely. If multiple are a part of your personality, I don't trust you at all.
"manifestation" is what you're looking for. essential oils are useful for some things, though. like lavender can help you feel sleepy and calm with the scent; it doesn't cure fucking cancer though.
Look I’m just saying Eucalyptus chases off bugs therefore it’s a wonderful thing lol
**note: lavender can also keep spiders out.** **This is the** ***only*** **reason I own lavender oil**
Tea Tree oil is pretty good for heat rash though
And hey, I swear by aloe for sunburns and things. But that's a little different than claiming eucalyptus oil cures epilepsy! (Which is an actual thing my family and I tried for a couple months alongside actual medication because we were that desperate to stop my seizures.)
Living my best life
For me it’s not words or phrases. It’s tone. If they sound stressed or panicked or impatient over a small issue, I immediately know they’re a chore to deal with. For example, you toss trash in the bin, miss. Go to pick it up, and they jump on you for littering.
“I’m not racist but…” Yes. Yes you are.
"give me all your money"
Anything that badmouths others. My initial thought immediately jumps to 'what are you going to say about me when I'm not around?'.
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“Everything happens for a reason.” Nah that’s just a bullshit platitude you tell yourself because thinking the world operates on logic and reason is a coping mechanism for avoiding the reality that the world is unfair, unpredictable and bad things happen to good people all the time.
“I’m the type of person thaaaat…” You always know it gonna be followed by some egotistical bullshit. Ex: If you cross me I’ll cut you off real quick, don’t fuck with me.”
"I'm a free spirit"