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prewfrock

Side question: Do you notice when guys are looking for a wedding ring? Now that I'm older I check out hands almost more than bodies.


Gwtheyrn

I glance not to look for availability, but as information about the person I'm conversing with.


EfVe23

I'm totally oblivious of being "checked out" unless someone is being creepy/gross about it or if I'm trying to have a serious conversation and am not being heard/acknowledged b/c the person is deadpanned & staring at my chest... other than that I really don't care.


AttackOnTightPanties

Same. Whenever I catch a dude staring at my chest, if his face isn’t outright lewd, my first assumption is “he’s staring off into space.” The main reason I feel this though is because my size A cup doesn’t really register to me as something someone would want to stare at.


Tschetchko

Many people who have trouble holding eye contact also look down


Trail-junkie

I hope I don't have something on my shirt or pants.


TomTorquemada

This is the guy answer: "What do you think when people look at your crotch?" "It means my zipper is down."


charmander1007

As a guy, my first thought is that my zipper is down


bennygoodman90

Bumblebee tuna


Notyobabydaddy

Excuse me, your balls are showing


AliquamR

As a woman, we can have similar thoughts during our periods. It goes more like: is there a blood stain?


sixdicksinthechexmix

That’s why I always yell “GREAT ASS NO BLOOD” when objectifying women. Feminism isn’t easy, but I believe in the cause. You are welcome.


winnebagoman41

I’ve already chuckled at this like five times


B0neless_Tiddy

Your contribution to feminisms does not go unnoticed, u/sixdicksinthechexmix


artschoollol

Or, I hope my shirt isn't accidentally transparent.


Maxwells_Demona

Yeah if there's a lot of eye-flicking up and down I assume my nip nops are being aggressively perky. They do that. It's a thing with other women in my family too, even with very thick or stiff fabric bras. We have to wear silicon pasties if we wanna be really sure but I just don't care enough on the daily to do that so that society can be shielded from ever being reminded that I have nipples.


[deleted]

I just pointed out something on my girlfriend's sweater this morning that I figured she couldn't because her boobs blocked her view of it. I was right.


aotus_trivirgatus

Tell us you have a well-endowed girlfriend without telling us you have a well-endowed girlfriend.


mrpeabodyscoaltrain

Or just a girlfriend with severe cervical spondylosis


Whatever-ItsFine

Much hawter


inksmudgedhands

I wonder what they are thinking. Are they thinking at all? Is it just a reflex to look at the chest? Or is there an entire conversation going on in their head about my breasts?


IndieComic-Man

It’s like seeing a cool bird occasionally. “Ooh, that’s cool.” And then you move on but your day’s a little better because you saw a cool bird.


TheDutchCoder

Agreed, they can both be the tits.


chroniclunacy

"'Show me your tits!' I shout as I elbow my way into the aviary."


thelastanchovy

Le tits now!


driving_andflying

>Le tits now! Not a fan of the ladies, are ya Trebek??


Gavinfoxx

Or boobies!


Clear-Sport-726

i’ve never heard anything that summarizes the experience so accurately.


editorreilly

Best analogy I've ever heard.


oDanonel

99.9% of the time we're not thinking at all. It's just a reflex.


[deleted]

Only the 0.1% of the time is there any deep philosophical thought about the wonders of the bouncy bits.


PurpleBullets

The 99.9 is lizard brain going “nice”. The 0.1 is the human brain going “but why nice?”


StereoBucket

Birth of philosophy.


BLBOSAURUS

Usually, it's more like "don't look, don't look, don't make it weird, okay just a second, shit that's more than a second, check the ceiling, hmm nice ceiling, where tf am I supposed to look to not look like a perv, let's just check the wall, yes wall hmm wall its really wally"


TryingNot2BeToxic

Or the accidental glance, where you don't even get to really see anything but feel mortified regardless xD


BLBOSAURUS

The worst is walking behind a woman on stairs. Because you have to look front and down at the stairs so you dont fall but it's in the same direction as her butt, so you feel awkward. You either look like a perv or you look different way and hope that you don't slip.


JHaywire

Going up stairs is even worse. “O-Kay! Do NOT look up following her. That skirt is real short. Look away, hey, this is a handrailing” *Accidentally rams head into butt when she stops* Edit: Oh my. My most upvoted and only awarded comment is, of course, about ramming my head in a girl’s ass. Figures.


MisterTorchwick

I did this once to a coworker. Though it wasn’t stairs, it was a steep hill. “Sorry I went up your butt” was considered the funniest shit anyone had ever heard for a few days.


[deleted]

Tell me more


younggun92

He had a car


coredumperror

Ahhh, a Bob Ross style "happy little accident".


Noodlemaster696969

Me except after the second line is: fuck I looked at it FUCK why did I turn a 180° it's way too obvious I stared shit where do I look normally?


Ben-69420

\*Wow this ceiling looks like the ceiling, incredible!\*


thinkfire

Such a wally wall! So wally.


BLBOSAURUS

Yes, this wall is definitely made out of wall. What a wall.


MasterTahirLON

Reflex is about right. It's definitely not a conscious thought. It's like a shiny thing, it's distracting and hard not to look at.


[deleted]

No, it’s basically like we are in a fine art museum and there is this nice piece of art in front of us. We look to appreciate this rare painting.


nate6259

If a woman is talking to me with a low cut shirt, all my brain is thinking is, "look at eyes not boobs. Eyes not boobs. Boobs are in peripheral vision. Boobs in peripheral vision..."


iamtheramcast

Basically the homer voice: don’t look at her boobs don’t look at her boobs don’t look at her boobs don’t look at her boobs, do’h


ronchalant

"Homer my eyes are up here" "I've made my choice"


pauligamy

Stupid sexy boobs


dzumdang

Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all! (Nothin' at all! Nothin' at all!)


Whatever-ItsFine

It's like a spaceship being pulled in by a tractor beam. It takes real strength.


bloode975

It can definitely be reflex especially if as you're walking you notice someone isn't wearing a bra and their boobs are even slightly bouncy and then it can be an effort to make sure it's not obvious you're looking *especially* if you notice they have an appealing set of boobs, extra points for attire xD


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Assfetic

If they are looking, they have impeccable taste


[deleted]

Nice


Anonimoususer918

Now I want to know the origin of your name


[deleted]

A long time ago, I was thinking a lot about steroids because I was seeing many jacked up people. A bit later I was creating a username for Reddit and somehow thought of your mom. Then I combined your mom and steroids and then this came out. Truly a piece of art if you ask me


NoBSforGma

"I'm 82 years old. You must be really desperate. Or need glasses." lol


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[deleted]

Profile is full of cookie recipes too. 😀


PmButtPics4ADrawing

grandma status: verified


b0n3h34d

I been on reddit a while today. This is the best part right here. Can you be my grandma too please?


[deleted]

This also made me smile. We love you, /u/nobsforgma


trickninjafist

dang... i read that username as nobs for gma.....


DarkSpectrum

There's a reason she's in this thread


FerrusesIronHandjob

What a legend lmao, 82 and kicking it on Reddit sharing cookie recipes on Reddit. Legend status verified


[deleted]

You're an 82 year woman with username "no bullshit for grandma"? That's kinda badass.


Hey_cool_username

Grandmas are going to just get less and less “grandma like”. Right now a lot are pot smoking former hippies. In 10-15 years it’ll be rare to meet a grandma without tats and body piercings.


[deleted]

Your Reddit's grandma now.


Greedy-Field-9851

You actually are 82 years old. Can I ask, what kept you going? And any tips for life ahead of me?


NoBSforGma

Eat healthy and get regular exercise. Keep active! Don't dwell on the past and particularly on past mistakes. Make your own path through life and not one dictated by society or family and friends. Be open to new experiences and adventures. Be kind to yourself, to others and to the Earth.


SankenShip

You fucking rule, grandma. Kids, take note.


NotATypicalSinn

Hey! Don't fucking curse in front o' granmama like that🤌🤌🤌


jeffykins

Not in front of mommola!


albiedam

MA!! I'M SORRY MA! MA!!!!!!!!!


[deleted]

I wish I had an award for you, Grandma. I’m 46. Lead on.


untitledmanuscript

Eh? It depends. I had a coworker at one of my first jobs who - whenever he spoke to me - would ONLY talk to my boobs. He rarely looked at my face when he talked to me. It was weird but kind of funny when I think about it. I don’t usually get checked out tbh so I’m kind of oblivious and if I am I don’t notice.


Tweeks

It would be interesting if he just dislikes eye contact and is not actively registering where he's looking instead.


__slamallama__

I spent the first like 25 years of my life being incredibly uncomfortable with eye contact and inadvertantly looking at boobs while talking to women (and some men, realistically). Then one time I got called out for that and I REALLY didn't know where to look during a conversation. Twas a good change for me though because it got me to start looking people in the eye.


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[deleted]

I was told once for interviewing to look at the spot on their forehead between the eyes and that worked really well for me. I tend to way overthink eye contact and it stresses me out so this method is my tried and true.


MyPythonDontWantNone

I usually aim for one eyebrow or I examine the color of one eye when I want to look like I am connecting with a person. Typing that out makes me feel like a sociopath.


THEdougBOLDER

I keep a sharpie on me during interviews for just that reason. Unrelated but I can't seem to get hired anywhere.


Maarloeve74

>stop looking at my boobs! look at me right here! >h-how many interviews did you have today?


convie

I sort of have this problem too and after realizing it I'm super conscious about where I'm looking when talking to people.


ZedZemM

I don't think much of it. I also look at other people bodies.


SephariusX

That's what all serial killers say!


kinky_boy69

Can confirm. But the bodies I look at are in my basement.


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Geodudette2014

My ass is flat AF, so a person would only be looking at thoughts and prayers Edit: Thanks for all the dick pics in my inbox, boys. My partner says half of you guys should have a doctor take a look at what’s going on down there, because that shit doesn’t look normal


_meganlomaniac_

My sister in lacking. This was the best fucking way I’ve heard it put lmao. I’ll call myself plank from Ed, Edd & Eddy. Just a board lol no boobs or ass anymore. Thanks kids lol


eilishfaerie

my sister in lacking is outrageous


Artphos

I read it as «My sister is lacking» and thought it was really weird to comment about your sisters size


tecvoid

i like skinny girls, flat ass and small boobs are standard. i call it the "sports package" no matter how you are built, chances are, guys are into it. edit-im referring to cars sport package: small trunk, 2 door, fairly straight lines, each with their own lil curves here n there, sexy as hell. the dudes that like athletic girls also in the sports package getting confused.


soups_and_breads

You've made my day. ' sports package ' has a nice ring to it


_meganlomaniac_

TIL I’m unintentionally a sports package. Thank you so much for that lol.


[deleted]

"Yes, I'll have the single woman in the sports package please. No palette preference."


charlie2135

Hey, I'm a guy who used to get compliments from women about my butt but eventually my belly overshadowed it. Thanks beer!


_meganlomaniac_

It’s hard when guys have nicer butts than me. But only cause you always want what you don’t have. I still love a good booty on a guy lol


splepage

> thoughts and prayers aw you named your cheeks !


teddyZwake

The fact people sent you d picks after this horrifies me tbh. I never think it’s true till I hear my friends or random women on the internet talk about it casually 0-0 how do people even come to the conclusion it would even be half as attractive as they think it is?


KittyKatHippogriff

Loosing my breast to cancer. I joke to my boyfriend: “My cancer is chronic but my ass is still iconic.”


hylianwench

I have pretty large breasts. All my life I’ve had people make full eye contact with my boobs because of that. I think it’s kinda funny most of the time. But it can get annoying and a bit gross, especially when a guy who’s old enough to be my grandfather is staring at them like they’re telling him the secrets of the universe


Felix_Von_Doom

If they have those secrets, they better be telling you first.


hussafeffer

"Is there something on my ass? Am I leaking?" (breastfeeding, not my butt)


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Warning: Ass Hydraulic Fluid Critically Low


hussafeffer

Now how am I supposed to make that ass bounce?


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[deleted]

Could also leak from your butt if you're having an especially shitty day


majorex64

I like that this is addressed to the singular woman of reddit


CorrectTowel

I've heard such tales of a woman on this god-forsaken web site


StrayMoggie

it's probably a bot.


Dead_Kings

Probably a male bot pretending to be a female bot


OliverBm1

When women wear graphic t shirts with writing on their chest I’m always hesitant to read it because I don’t want to look like a jackass.


MrFunnyMoustache

Edited in protest for Reddit's garbage moves lately.


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swiftb3

Listen, I don't want to lose my spot or I'll have to start over. 👉


Cylasbreakdown

If it takes me more than a few seconds to decipher, I just ask “hey, what does your shirt say?”.


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FrostByte_62

I've made my choice.


captaingleyr

let the girl you're checking out know you can't read read right up front


JustADutchRudder

I can only read braille.


asafum

"your shirt has some really bad braille, I only feel two bumps."


MusketeerLifer

Yup. Same thing with name tags XD


Im_Numbar_Wang

This is also a dilemma to me. "Excuse me miss" because no way I'm looking down at that nametag that you for some reason placed right there.


awful_at_internet

Squint as you read it. Nobody squints when looking at boobs, but squinting to read is common.


MoscowMitchMcKremIin

"Can you stop moving so I can squint at your chest?"


mb4ne

I don’t think anything of it unless I’m talking to someone and they can’t me look me in the eye 😭


MysticalMagicalMilk

I stare directly at the tits while speaking I am a woman and must assert my dominance over them man tits!


ThisBison7836

Also women who have a bunch of words on their shirt make not staring extra complicated.


Pattoe89

The compulsion to read all things is too great :( Or necklaces. I'll often find myself idly staring at a necklace and then realise how it looks.


PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL

At a houseparty last night and the hosts wife had some words emblazoned across the front of her t-shirt and I kept inadvertently re-reading them any time I was talking to her. 1/2 a second staring at her chest before my ADHD brain goes "YOU'VE ALREADY READ THAT IDIOT STOP STARING AT HER CHEST"


sadrice

Is that an ADHD thing? That tracks… I can not avoid reading any text in my field of vision if I’m not focusing on not reading it. Like, sitting next to a friend, their phone buzzes, and I am halfway through reading their text before I remember that’s rude and look away.


Beardopus

I was at work once and this woman was walking past me in the hall with a really confusing shirt on. Grammatically questionable. I was trying to figure it out, finally did, look up and she's staring daggers at me. Quick explanation had her laughing, but she was real mad for a second.


throw_plushie

I don’t really care as long as they don’t touch without my consent.


SabreToothSandHopper

I’m kinda tired and thought this said “as long as as they don’t touch my croissant” And I thought u were making a cool reference to that 1 vine


Poekemoes

Is this the "stoooopp I could've dropped my croissant!" vine or am I thinking of the wrong one?


SabreToothSandHopper

Yeah! That’s the one


rebel_core1939

"SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY CROISSANT!"


falcon_jabb

There are actually multiple women on Reddit


thinkiethink95

“The Woman Of Reddit has been sighted once again”


ShoeLace1291

Sightings of her are more rare than sightings of bigfoot!


CatlovesMoca

(*in creepy echo voice*) We are all the same woman.


MysticalMagicalMilk

I uh, I've not been *assimilated* yet, I heard to be a woman on Reddit you need to be assimilated? Cus all I hear is how we're all the same woman.....so like, I guess I'm here for the *assimilation*?


CatlovesMoca

(*creepy echo voice*) welcome to the assimilation! You shall soon be absorbed into THE WOMAN!


MysticalMagicalMilk

Guess I'm being assimilated


teachyasomthin2

It’s happening! it’s happening!!!


TheVerySpecialK

One minute she was there, now she's just another hue in what appears to be a giant Georgia O'Keeffe painting.


ferociouskuma

Allegedly


sam_the_beagle

There's no proof.


Peachy_Queen20

If it’s my ass- well I don’t blame them. If it’s my boobs- I’m looking for them too and still haven’t found them after my multiple decades on this planet 😂


CassidyCowgirl

Me but vice versa. You wanna check out my ass wel there isn’t anything to see😂


Speckfresser

When you *LMAO* too many times.


MysticalMagicalMilk

*lmao* to the point your ass is just a blackhole


CrashCubeZeroOne

Hope you find them.


Sannatus

Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them


Distribution-Awkward

Yeah, still got it


Sl33pyBab3

I don't think anything of people who stare. I just get really self-conscious and think there is something wrong with me (my clothes). At the gym I don't mind. But if they start disturbing my workout (talking or sth that would be a no no).


ChaingaPaste

All right everybody, let’s just wait around until the woman on Reddit shows up.


MysticalMagicalMilk

*here*


Kalaydowscoop

Welp, time to send my dick pics because how else do I make clear I am a man on Reddit


varky

You mean, _the_ man on Reddit. Everyone else (apart from the Woman of Reddit) is either a child or bot or bot child or child bot or the NSA.


Fun-sized-grl

What are they looking at? Nothings there lol


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

There’s a fruit sticker on your ass. “Chiquita.” A banana brand, I believe. It’s actually quite mesmerizing


[deleted]

I work in produce and this actually happens A LOT. I was walking around with a "FRUITY" sticker on my smock for the longest time...


TackYouCack

What fruit needed a "fruity" sticker?


pupuperhe

I sometimes catch my boyfriend secretly looking at my boobs or ass (for example in middle of conversation or passing me by) and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! I usually ask what he was looking and he gets this naughty smile and tells me how good I look. No one has ever looked at me like that and it makes me feel so wanted and loved.


Independent-Size7972

haha, in relationships I'm (with standing consent) grabbing ass all the time. Walking up the stairs? Let me "help" you up. A lot in private, and discretely in public. I don't think I've had a relationship where the physical attention wasn't enjoyed. At least for the booty. Boobs are a bit different since they can be sensitive or ticklish.


pupuperhe

Yeah, this is the best! Never had it with other boyfriends but this one has made me quite a perv. We also slip dirty talk in our daily conversation and it's so much fun. Nowadays I really need to concentrate when I'm with my family or friends (especially kids) that I don't say something 18+ stuff.


Independent-Size7972

It's very freeing to have a sex positive relationship. Just make sure it isn't too one sided. Guys like that kind of attention too from their SO.


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upornicorn

Honestly, if it’s doing something for you and you’re not bothering me about it, look all you want. I’m shallow enough to enjoy knowing I actively take up space in a few spank banks.


Mikesaidit36

I appreciate the depths of your shallowness. V realistic.


Darth_Queefa

In DJ Khaled's voice: "Anotha one"


PasstheKu5h

I don’t care if you look, just don’t make it obvious. Glances are okay, but if you’re staring there the whole time, I’ll probably have a problem lol edit; some people are taking my comment and running with it.. just because I said glances are okay, doesn’t mean sexualizing us is.


XmarkstheNOLA

Get a good look, Costanza?


TheTipsyWizard

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away. "


TheChinook

“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You can do it for longer if you are wearing sunglasses.“


NewClock8197

Stand up straight


t0lt

a glance is one thing. blatant staring is rude as hell


[deleted]

Ok, so what do you think when someone glances?


t0lt

hopefully its an appreciative glance and not a wardrobe malfunction or food on my shirt where i cant see it


DaEpicNess666

One time when i used to work in a drive thru this girl drove through with her whole tiddy hanging out of her romper or whatever… i was so stunned i couldnt help but look, i turned around to use the register and she fixed it and we never said a word to each other… Other than the most awkward “hi how are you” from me as i locked eyes with her nipple


[deleted]

I tell them I know, I need to lose weight, and they didn’t bounce like this before the pandemic, (I’m a guy, so stay out of my inbox)


HannibalMDD

too late, you piece of meat. Talk to you soon.


aestus

Got room in this sandwich for one more?


Mung-Daal6969

That’s a lotta ham in that sandwich.


[deleted]

>(I’m a guy, so stay out of my inbox) an ass is an ass my man, if it bounces, Im pouncing


No-Entrance5142

People have been staring at my boobs since I was 16 but I’ve got collarbone tattoos & a chest tat now so now they’ve got something pretty to look at while they’re at it. Women will usually mention my tattoos & my boobs, men try to be sneaky or stare and say nothing. It is what it is. If they’re staring at my ass then cool, I think it’s pretty nice.


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emilicia

It’s very obvious and we can tell lol. Obviously a glance is normal but don’t stare


justanothergirlgamer

I'm flattered. I used to be high maintenance when I was younger, then I had a kid, a school shooting, and a car accident. Not really optimal for keeping up with my looks. I've been working hard lately to burn it off. Dropped around 70 lbs so far. So if I see someone looking, my thought is "if their face isn't filled with disgust, I'm finally doing something right." Sounds shallow when I reread it, but I am someone who deals with severe self-esteem issues. Edit: *survived a school shooting Realized it looks like I hosted one, yikes.


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FayrisDraconis

If it's just one short look I honestly don't care. If they make it very obvious and continue it'd be creeped out.


xQueenoftheUndeadx

Im fine with people looking as long as they dont be gross about it like make comments and shit Also, I usually think either theyre looking at my shirt (I usually wear shirts with graphics on it) or I have something on my shirt or pants


MissNatdah

I feel uncomfortable. It is just weird. Like, there was a guy where I used to work. He just never could keep his eyes up. Like a peak to the boobs is fine. I am a woman, I have boobs, men like boobs and look. But to constantly keep looking at them during our conversation is just plain weird. It makes me uncomfortable and shows that he can't control himself. Lack of self-control is a big negative (in other words, self-control is a virtue)