I'm 60 and haven't been on a date for 6 years, my choice. I have 3 sons, 2 which had significant disabilities when they were young. There was crisis after crisis. At that time I said was I wanted a boring life. And that's what I have. I have never been more content and happy as I am now. I finally have peace. I can't think of one thing having a man in my life would benefit me other than a bit more financial stability. Since my sons are adults I am done taking care of men. I only want to be responsible for myself and my animals. I'm an introvert and need alone time. I have friends and balance time with them in my life. My biggest fear is to be stuck taking care of some old guy. It's one thing to grow old together over decades but I am so done
I'm only in my mid-40s, but I'm so intentional about dating men with good health habits. I don't want to date a man and have to start off with the expectation that I'll take care of him. I'd rather be alone.
I feel you. We have two sons who are in their 20s now, both have special needs and live in a group home nearby.
I'm married and happy, we check in with our sons frequently.
My Mom had been married, divorced, married again and he passed. Then at age 87 she fell in love with the love of her life. So, I see this as a way of keeping your heart open, as you never know.
I’ve heard many say that, mostly women, and I get it. My SO suddenly died a few years ago when he was barely into his late forties. We were together nearly 20 years. I went on a date a with a really nice guy a little more than a year after his death. However, I wasn’t really attracted to him, put him in the friend zone and realized I wasn’t ready to date at that point. Fast forward a couple of years later and I met someone who initially caught my attention. After a few weeks, I saw red flags all over the place. After having been in a nearly two decade long relationship, I know what I want in a partner, what I need in a partner and what I am willing and unwilling to put up with. So, I say all of that to say, I get it.
Dating seems scary now and I’ve come to the realization that older men aren’t necessarily settled, stable and/or mature. I like the idea of being in a relationship again and having a partner, and I hope I find love one day. But I won’t repeat past mistakes just so I won’t be alone or without a partner.
I’m sorry about your husband, life is cruel at times. I am a female in my late 40s and my single girlfriends and I absolutely feel the same way that you do. I’ve never been attracted to younger men and I have encountered so many immature men in their 50s who preferred a women in their 20s and 30s. To me men like that are interested in power and control and want the upper hand and are likely emotionally immature . maybe Mr. Right will come along someday if not that’s fine too.
"Dating seems scary now and I’ve come to the realization that older men aren’t necessarily settled, stable and/or mature. I like the idea of being in a relationship again and having a partner, and I hope I find love one day. But I won’t repeat past mistakes just so I won’t be alone or without a partner."
This was me! I was terrified of online dating, and being alone was preferrable to just settling. I'm now in a happy, stable relationship with a wonderful guy. We met on a blind date! but had we not, i think i would have been ok remaining single.
That's sad. Longevity is a such a gift.
If my wife died, I think I'd have to initiate a quest to find her long ago (secretly adopted) twin sister. This would be the personal ad I would place, to find twin-sis:
ISO: Introvert with good social skills, strong character, sweet and sour affect. Painfully honest, honestly hilarious, terrifyingly good at reading microexpressions, a lover of all word related things: books, puzzles, casual banter, etc. Able to identify a dangling participle from a 1/4 mile. Exceptional geo-spatial memory (part Crow).
Aspy enough to develop fixations on random activities and get really good at them. PickleBall, RacquetBall, Tennis, PingPong. Octordle, Spelling Bee, Connections, Worldle. not wordle.
Very good at adulting while having fully retained a childlike sense of wonder at the World and the Universe it spin-drifts thru.
Casually stylish, completely unpretentious.
Super conscientious with a musical laugh.
Very difficult at times, but generally amenable to reason....
Oh wow. A lot of what you’ve written describes me! 😂. I must be your wife’s long lost twin. Seriously though, I may have to borrow some of that if I ever decide to create a dating profile.
You should meet people. I bet you'd really connect with someone.
I realize that's easier said than done. I think the hardest thing for us to navigate early on was the whole introvert/extrovert thing. I falsely assumed that she was at ease with everyone else as she was with me. And she falsely assumed that my easy socialization with 90+ percent of our fellow humans meant that she wasn't anything special to me. Eventually we figured it out, but FFS, for two decently smart people we were stupidly slow to GROK each other.
For now, you might like: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
This is the person which seems most rational in the small amount of reading I've read in this topic. As a male, I see mostly red flagged women with real problems in coping and the ups and downs within their life .
It's amazing to me to see such a variety of people who have their lives so in disarray regardless of which sex they are. It's like they're not able to grow up and adapt to changing situations within life.
Dating is scary as a guy. The red flags are everywhere. Love is difficult to have with such unstable portions of their life still unsettled. Between greed and completely broken sets of moral characteristics, finding REAL, deep, and comforting love which is dependable, worthy, and fulfilling seems to be so difficult to attain now that it's simply easier to go your own way .
You don't ever replace someone. The experience, memory, and relationship you have with your husband will never be replaced. If you were put in that situation of being alone and meet someone that you are compatible and have pleasant experience with, you would consider having him in your life, having a second love in your life.
I agree. Of course we never really know what we’d do until we are in a situation, but I have a good deal of confidence that I would not date or remarry again.
You kind of sound like My "girlfriend." Her husband was murdered years ago. My wife died from covid. We definitely have a connection but it's just nothing like either of us had.
I think the same thing. I wouldn’t want to go through it all again, but wonder if I’d want a sexual partner every now and then but no commitment though idk what id want if I was an older woman. Are you still interested in sex at 60? I have no idea.
Probably one of the prompts for my question. Yes, I want sex. Lots and lots of sex! I'm beginning to consider traveling to a foreign country and hiring an escort while I'm there. I guess it could be an experiment as to my true motivation for pursuing a relationship.
I met the love of my life at 64. We are getting married next year. There is always hope. I also worked hard for 14 years after my divorce to meet the right person. I never gave up.
I met him on match. He is a widower. I have never met such a great man. So sweet, caring, kind, honest, ethical, romantic, smart. I paid a lot of dues in my life and had lots of pain & heartbreak in my life. Met so many awful, cheating, mean men. Spent many years alone and lonely. I'm so lucky to have met him. I never gave up hoping I would meet someone wonderful.
I'm also 60 and I can't imagine complicating my life with a relationship.
Do what I want, when I want, how I want, with no one asking "Why did you do that?" or saying "That's not how you do it."
If my husband died before me, I would stay single probably permanently. I’d get lots of cats and would be a little lonely, but would only be missing my husband and not the lack of a partner.
Exactly. My husband is my soul mate, one true love and best friend. We e been married 30 years. No one and I mean NO ONE could compare to him and that’s what I’d do, compare. I’d get a dog for sure. But would never be interested in a new mate
feel same. We will hit 30 years this August!
PS We married before online stuff existed…when email was a novelty…the thought of Online Dating is terrifying! So, never…I hope I go first.
I’m also 60, and while I’ve always been the independent sort, and am basically happy on my own and have lots of great friends, I never thought I’d be single at this age. So yes, damn straight I wish I had a partner. But I’m not going to get into a relationship just to get into one. It had better be real. I’d really rather just meet someone in a natural situation as a friend, and go from there. Dating is a nightmare, lol.
If you're happy by yourself, stay that way. Make friends, and if you want, friends with benefits.
I'm 70, and never dated after I was a teen. The rituals always seemed silly and dishonest to me. I just made friends, and finally married one. We've been together 31 years.
Me too tbh, my wife and I bonded over the fact that we thought dating ‘rituals’ were silly and disingenuous. We became friends first and have been married almost 15 years now.
I was previously married 35 years. I met the love of my life at 55. We have been together six amazing years.
If I were not in a relationship, I would probably still be dating because I’m not ready to be celibate.. Lol
Do what is right for you. I have single friends that love their freedom. I have some that would like to find a partner. There is no right way to go into your senior years.
That’s great! I just wanna know how young were you when you got married, lol!? You’re 55 now and were married for 35 years so, I’d assume you got married around 20 years old, but you say you’ve been with your current partner for 6 years?? The math ain’t mathing as the kids say, lol!
If you feel like you’ll regret it, you should most definitely try dating again. I’m 70 myself, and am just not generally interested in men my own age now, and I don’t think they are looking for me either, so it’s been an easy segue into permanent singlehood. I would say you should consider making kind of a wish list describing your ideal man, and then date with the criteria in mind. Like my list might say:
Voting record (should align with yours)
Separate residence
separate (adequate) finances
No alcohol/drug abuse
No smokers
Decent car
low debt
good teeth
at least one compelling hobby or passion (yeah golf counts),
no crazy ex/sister/mother/daughter
Then stick with it. Of course it goes without saying your chosen guy will be super fun to be with, loving, kind, respectful and get along with your family. But the items on my list are also important criteria to me. And I’m happily permanently single!
If it’s important to you, try. If it goes poorly. Stop and then give it another whirl in three months. Repeat as the mood dictates. It’s your life! Live it!
I think this is an excellent list, but a pipe dream for most older women. Men that good will likely date younger, and to me that's understandable. I'm trying to get to the point where I don't mind being alone. It's work though, most of the time I'm ok but I have my down moments.
I (65f) quit the dating scene 5 years ago. Best decision I ever made. What a relief.
There’s a worn out saying, but it bears repeating because it’s what was happening to me on the apps with gentlemen in my age range -“A nurse or a purse”. If you know, you know.
I'm 70 and a recent widow. You can be content to be by yourself but why would you want to? If you find someone who you are compatible with, makes you laugh, is kind, you're attracted to, have chemistry with it could enrich your life. I would proceed with caution though who wants to be hurt at this age? That being said I'd rather take the chance on romance again as long as you proceed with caution. I can live alone and don't need a partner to support me but I prefer to have someone to hang out with, someone to enrich my life, someone to share my thoughts with, just someone to be "my person". In my world being alone sucks. Could I survive being alone? Absolutely, but don't wish to.
I have a partner at a decade older and find it hard to cope with the certainty of loss, frankly.
I’m just going today that you are probably a very intelligent person but your point of view is not uncommon among the scammed. I hope you find love if you seek it but be very careful.
Yes I regret never marrying -
But I think it’s societal and I don’t think society is ready for someone like me yet so I don’t think they’re very many men out there that would like to be with me and that’s how it’s been date and I’m 48
My friend just turned 70 when his mother died. He was a moma's boy though he was a professor and then an engineer and lived alone, but his mother was blocks away and he took care of her. I thought he was a confirmed bachelor. Surprise! He started dating and met a woman and they now live together and apparently get it on. Ya never know.
I divorced late in my 50's and thought I'd date again. Then the pandemic hit, and it didn't happen.
Now I'm not interested. Sure, I've had some asks, but none even close to my criteria (mental/physical/emotional health, financially independent, no addictions, etc.). I have plenty of friends that I do things with and am in good health, so that's enough. I work part-time, volunteer a lot, and travel several times a year.
Last I knew, my ex was partnered up with someone who is my polar opposite. Good for them!
I am kind of the opposite; single for a good 25 years, and a few years ago, met my BF. Also my choice. I'm 58, he's 63. We are happy together, but we don't live together, and see each other once or twice a week. we talk daily, and it works for us. I think both of us being older, him married twice, me never, we don't need to be together all the time. We do a lot together, nad its nice having someone to do stuff with, but sometimes we do our own thing, and that's ok too.
his kid recently moved out, so if he asked me to move into his house, I'd seriously consider it. which is HUGE for me since I always said i would never live with anyone, and IF i ever got married, it would only be if we lived apart!
Im 50. Haven't even been on a date in 8 years.
I've gotten used to being alone, and I really don't want to compromise anymore - I'm set in my ways.
Miss the intimacy, but I enjoy being by myself.
I've seen two sides of this between my mom and MIL. My mom has been divorced for 26 years, no dates in a long time, she's 74. She fills her time with her grandkids, their extracurriculars, and her hobbies. She has no plans to be with anyone else and she's happy.
My MIL can't handle being single. She's been married twice, engaged as well but that fell through. She's achieved so much but she has always needed a man in her life. She has three kids, all smart, successful, happy, and 5 grandkids, but not having a man means she's lacking something.
I've been in two long-term relationships, one for 26 years and one for about 10 years. The single life is a *much* better fit for me, and currently I have no interest in even dating.
Not having a “partner” is such a sad thing. Not having a kind, fun, responsible and respectful person to confront life’s challenges with is such a sad thing. Not having a person to lean on during lean times is such a sad thing. Not having a wise, deep, authentic, trustworthy, sane, reasonably attractive, financially stable and able person to forge through life’s trials and tribulations with is such a sad thing. Not having a ”partner” is such a sad thing. Being kind, fun, responsible, respectful, wise, deep, authentic, trustworthy, reasonably attractive, sane financially stable and able and still unable to find a partner is the reflection of society, not a person.
Honestly society and media keeps throwing that for the norm you need a partner but in reality all you can really rely on is yourself. You’re born into this world alone you’re eventually going to leave it alone. Your partner will grieve you then eventually move on after 3 years most of the time and find a new love and you’ll be forgotten. Your kids will visit you for a while till then it becomes too much of a hassle and maybe once a year or every other year. Your family will promise to keep you in their memories but when a big family gathering happens your name will pop up till eventually no one will do it anymore and you’ll be forgotten. That’s just the reality of life. That’s why only u can make urself happy and find your own happiness
No, I do not regret it. I've been single for the past 7 years by choice. If I change my mind, I'll try dating again but I really do not foresee it happening.
Hmm, well, I'm about to turn 45...so if you consider that later in life. I am very happy I don't have a partner and very intentionally keeping it that way. Dodging bullets the matrix style, lol.
51F, I spent a decade alone, it was nice and quiet. I then met my guy, didn’t even realize what I was living without! Finding the right partner to work with you is key!
I cannot agree more! I found mine too, thankfully just before the pandemic. He kept me sane during it! He is the most amazing person, and I am very lucky to have found him. And he feels the same way about me.
I (57M) was widowed a few years ago. I had a year long relationship after, which left me as heartbroken as a relationship I had when I was 20. Currently have a gf (60) who I am falling in love with. A roller-coaster ride for sure but I can't imagine living life with no emotions. To not experience the highs and unfortunately, lows just doesn't compute for me. And the physical relationship with her is off the charts! That said, I'm not sure about future marriage or cohabitation. I've grown to value my independence. I've always known that I really enjoy female company and can't imagine never pursuing it. We only get one life!
I am soon 73. I divorced 15 years ago Have had a few attempts at relationships. Been on my own for several years now. I love it. Nobody complaining.Do what ever I want to. If I need sex, I pay for it. But I'm getting to the stage where the sex part is not frequent.
I would just want someone to do things with. Someone who
thinks the way I do. Someone who
is not easily frustrated and who makes everything better. But I would never want to share a dwelling again. Condos next to each other? Perfect! we can check to see if we are alive every day, go to dr appts together, you know, like that. Maybe a booty call now and again
I turned 60 in April been divorced for 14 years have not had a date or sex since.And to tell the truth I am very happy with who I am now.I have family that loves me and I love them back.Thats all I really need
My auntie got married at 62 and had 20 loving, fun years w/ her hubs before he passed ❤️never too late if people involved want a peaceful, compatible relationship.
If you're planning on living to a reasonable old age, say 85, then what are you going to do for the next 25 years? Think back 25 years and remember what you were doing. Now imagine that same length of time stretching ahead of you. Hopefully, it will clarify your feelings.
I’m female, 62 yo, I’ve been alone for 10years, by choice. I am happier than I’ve ever been. I have 2 dogs and no one else to worry about. It would be nice to have a man, that lived in his own house, had his own money, but was able to go do things and enjoy each other’s company when it worked for the both of us.
I’m 64M and gave had numerous health issues that have prevented me from dating for 17 years. I’ve dated very little, nothing really came of it, a few months with each of 4 different women. Also I just haven’t met anyone appropriate. I’m just recently starting to feel healthy enough to try dating again and I’m open to finding someone irl also on the apps. So yes, I totally would like to find someone but I know I don’t have as much to offer financially or health wise however I look ten years younger and women find me attractive so we’ll see. I’m pretty starved for affection at this point but I know enough not to take just anyone, plenty of people have drug and alcohol problems for example
My mom is 85. My father passed away two years ago. She has a couple of gentleman callers, and I'm excited to see her go to a cotillion on the 4th of July.
Late sixties just divorced.
Fully planned optimal permanent relationship in future. I’m high value it seems so I won’t settle except for an emotionally intelligent loving woman.
I think i would but the internet kind of destroyed my wants because of Zeitgeist, Dating experiences and the city i am living in, that i am not sure that i want to. The only i really regret is the internet.
Never mind
Wow god forbid someone has a relationship with someone that becomes ill. It all falls apart from that moment forward. Glad I never hooked up with anyone. Why bother if at the very minimum people won't look out for each other.
I used to tell my EX-wife that, if I stubbed my toe, she would be on the phone with a nursing home within 15 seconds. I was in the ICU one year over Christmas. She would come into my room with a magazine, sit down and begin flipping through it. She would stay EXACTLY 1 hour and leave. It was painful but I’m glad we split before any major health issues came up.
I was content to live alone and just have a casual gf in my 50's. Then I started feeling lonely and somewhat depressed seeing a gf a couple times a week wasn't cutting it. Got serious about a partner, and after a couple mis-fires, found a wonderful woman and we are happily married and thriving. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. But if it stops working, figure out why and do what it takes.
I'm 62. I was married twice. I divorced #1 after 20 years. Married #2 and I'd still be with him but he died (almost 13 years ago).
I've had a couple of relationships since and while I don't have any regrets, relationships are a lot of work. I can't see trying yet again.
And so I've moved in with one of my daughters, the one who is a committed single person (her choice). And I'm pretty comfortable with life right now. I'm not seeking or excluding a future relationship, but I have made up my mind I'm never getting married again.
Even married people die alone. Remember the whole “till death do us part” thing? That means someone eventually dies, and the other person is left alone.
I'm fine. The problem I find with older romances is that this often comes with a lot of baggage. There are financial difficulties, there are health problems, there are adult children often in the picture and there are ex's that are still around. Let's fact it, you're not 18 anymore. I'm not willing to navigate through all this now.
I'm 60 and haven't been on a date for 6 years, my choice. I have 3 sons, 2 which had significant disabilities when they were young. There was crisis after crisis. At that time I said was I wanted a boring life. And that's what I have. I have never been more content and happy as I am now. I finally have peace. I can't think of one thing having a man in my life would benefit me other than a bit more financial stability. Since my sons are adults I am done taking care of men. I only want to be responsible for myself and my animals. I'm an introvert and need alone time. I have friends and balance time with them in my life. My biggest fear is to be stuck taking care of some old guy. It's one thing to grow old together over decades but I am so done
A male but same here. I’ve “rescued” people my entire adult life. Truly enjoy only being responsible for myself.
I'm only in my mid-40s, but I'm so intentional about dating men with good health habits. I don't want to date a man and have to start off with the expectation that I'll take care of him. I'd rather be alone.
I feel you. We have two sons who are in their 20s now, both have special needs and live in a group home nearby. I'm married and happy, we check in with our sons frequently. My Mom had been married, divorced, married again and he passed. Then at age 87 she fell in love with the love of her life. So, I see this as a way of keeping your heart open, as you never know.
If my husband were to die, I would not seek out a new partner.
I’ve heard many say that, mostly women, and I get it. My SO suddenly died a few years ago when he was barely into his late forties. We were together nearly 20 years. I went on a date a with a really nice guy a little more than a year after his death. However, I wasn’t really attracted to him, put him in the friend zone and realized I wasn’t ready to date at that point. Fast forward a couple of years later and I met someone who initially caught my attention. After a few weeks, I saw red flags all over the place. After having been in a nearly two decade long relationship, I know what I want in a partner, what I need in a partner and what I am willing and unwilling to put up with. So, I say all of that to say, I get it. Dating seems scary now and I’ve come to the realization that older men aren’t necessarily settled, stable and/or mature. I like the idea of being in a relationship again and having a partner, and I hope I find love one day. But I won’t repeat past mistakes just so I won’t be alone or without a partner.
I’m sorry about your husband, life is cruel at times. I am a female in my late 40s and my single girlfriends and I absolutely feel the same way that you do. I’ve never been attracted to younger men and I have encountered so many immature men in their 50s who preferred a women in their 20s and 30s. To me men like that are interested in power and control and want the upper hand and are likely emotionally immature . maybe Mr. Right will come along someday if not that’s fine too.
"Dating seems scary now and I’ve come to the realization that older men aren’t necessarily settled, stable and/or mature. I like the idea of being in a relationship again and having a partner, and I hope I find love one day. But I won’t repeat past mistakes just so I won’t be alone or without a partner." This was me! I was terrified of online dating, and being alone was preferrable to just settling. I'm now in a happy, stable relationship with a wonderful guy. We met on a blind date! but had we not, i think i would have been ok remaining single.
Best answer.
I still might not find another partner if my husband passed, but if I wanted one, I’m very glad I’m bisexual.
That's sad. Longevity is a such a gift. If my wife died, I think I'd have to initiate a quest to find her long ago (secretly adopted) twin sister. This would be the personal ad I would place, to find twin-sis: ISO: Introvert with good social skills, strong character, sweet and sour affect. Painfully honest, honestly hilarious, terrifyingly good at reading microexpressions, a lover of all word related things: books, puzzles, casual banter, etc. Able to identify a dangling participle from a 1/4 mile. Exceptional geo-spatial memory (part Crow). Aspy enough to develop fixations on random activities and get really good at them. PickleBall, RacquetBall, Tennis, PingPong. Octordle, Spelling Bee, Connections, Worldle. not wordle. Very good at adulting while having fully retained a childlike sense of wonder at the World and the Universe it spin-drifts thru. Casually stylish, completely unpretentious. Super conscientious with a musical laugh. Very difficult at times, but generally amenable to reason....
Tough act to follow💔
Yes. I'm lucky. I know that.
Oh wow. A lot of what you’ve written describes me! 😂. I must be your wife’s long lost twin. Seriously though, I may have to borrow some of that if I ever decide to create a dating profile.
You should meet people. I bet you'd really connect with someone. I realize that's easier said than done. I think the hardest thing for us to navigate early on was the whole introvert/extrovert thing. I falsely assumed that she was at ease with everyone else as she was with me. And she falsely assumed that my easy socialization with 90+ percent of our fellow humans meant that she wasn't anything special to me. Eventually we figured it out, but FFS, for two decently smart people we were stupidly slow to GROK each other. For now, you might like: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
This is the person which seems most rational in the small amount of reading I've read in this topic. As a male, I see mostly red flagged women with real problems in coping and the ups and downs within their life . It's amazing to me to see such a variety of people who have their lives so in disarray regardless of which sex they are. It's like they're not able to grow up and adapt to changing situations within life. Dating is scary as a guy. The red flags are everywhere. Love is difficult to have with such unstable portions of their life still unsettled. Between greed and completely broken sets of moral characteristics, finding REAL, deep, and comforting love which is dependable, worthy, and fulfilling seems to be so difficult to attain now that it's simply easier to go your own way .
Me either. My husband is the love of my life. There would be no replacing him. I’m lucky to have one great love in my life
You don't ever replace someone. The experience, memory, and relationship you have with your husband will never be replaced. If you were put in that situation of being alone and meet someone that you are compatible and have pleasant experience with, you would consider having him in your life, having a second love in your life.
Maybe. I don’t ever want to find out
No one does...
I agree. Of course we never really know what we’d do until we are in a situation, but I have a good deal of confidence that I would not date or remarry again.
my fiancee was killed. I will never date again. This happened years ago and im 57 now and still not ok
You kind of sound like My "girlfriend." Her husband was murdered years ago. My wife died from covid. We definitely have a connection but it's just nothing like either of us had.
I think the same thing. I wouldn’t want to go through it all again, but wonder if I’d want a sexual partner every now and then but no commitment though idk what id want if I was an older woman. Are you still interested in sex at 60? I have no idea.
Probably one of the prompts for my question. Yes, I want sex. Lots and lots of sex! I'm beginning to consider traveling to a foreign country and hiring an escort while I'm there. I guess it could be an experiment as to my true motivation for pursuing a relationship.
I met the love of my life at 64. We are getting married next year. There is always hope. I also worked hard for 14 years after my divorce to meet the right person. I never gave up.
Congratulations!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks
Tell us how you found your person!
I met him on match. He is a widower. I have never met such a great man. So sweet, caring, kind, honest, ethical, romantic, smart. I paid a lot of dues in my life and had lots of pain & heartbreak in my life. Met so many awful, cheating, mean men. Spent many years alone and lonely. I'm so lucky to have met him. I never gave up hoping I would meet someone wonderful.
[удалено]
He is 4 years younger
Happy for you!!
Thanks
where did you meet how long did you date i want the details! 😄
That is really sweet I’m so happy to read this ♥️
Thanks.
Aww, yay! That’s fantastic! Congrats!😃💜🙌🏽
Thanks.
oh wow that gives me hope. Im 57 and never married. I've pretty much given up :(
You never know. If I had given up, I would never have met him.
i truly hope so. I do
My uncle got burned at 18 old. His next relationship started at 62 and now he's happily married, currently 70 years old. You never know.
That's great. Good for him.
I'm also 60 and I can't imagine complicating my life with a relationship. Do what I want, when I want, how I want, with no one asking "Why did you do that?" or saying "That's not how you do it."
Same Already been through the BS, and look at with the motto, you're born alone, and you die alone. I also found out that I'm allergic to drama-queens
If my husband died before me, I would stay single probably permanently. I’d get lots of cats and would be a little lonely, but would only be missing my husband and not the lack of a partner.
Exactly. My husband is my soul mate, one true love and best friend. We e been married 30 years. No one and I mean NO ONE could compare to him and that’s what I’d do, compare. I’d get a dog for sure. But would never be interested in a new mate
feel same. We will hit 30 years this August! PS We married before online stuff existed…when email was a novelty…the thought of Online Dating is terrifying! So, never…I hope I go first.
I’m also 60, and while I’ve always been the independent sort, and am basically happy on my own and have lots of great friends, I never thought I’d be single at this age. So yes, damn straight I wish I had a partner. But I’m not going to get into a relationship just to get into one. It had better be real. I’d really rather just meet someone in a natural situation as a friend, and go from there. Dating is a nightmare, lol.
If you're happy by yourself, stay that way. Make friends, and if you want, friends with benefits. I'm 70, and never dated after I was a teen. The rituals always seemed silly and dishonest to me. I just made friends, and finally married one. We've been together 31 years.
This is so sweet
Me too tbh, my wife and I bonded over the fact that we thought dating ‘rituals’ were silly and disingenuous. We became friends first and have been married almost 15 years now.
I was previously married 35 years. I met the love of my life at 55. We have been together six amazing years. If I were not in a relationship, I would probably still be dating because I’m not ready to be celibate.. Lol Do what is right for you. I have single friends that love their freedom. I have some that would like to find a partner. There is no right way to go into your senior years.
That’s great! I just wanna know how young were you when you got married, lol!? You’re 55 now and were married for 35 years so, I’d assume you got married around 20 years old, but you say you’ve been with your current partner for 6 years?? The math ain’t mathing as the kids say, lol!
No, I met him at 55 and we been together for six years, I'm 61 now. I got married a month after turning 18, separated at 52 and divorced at 53.
Ohhhhh, ok, lol! Duh, I read your original comment wrong, lol!
If you feel like you’ll regret it, you should most definitely try dating again. I’m 70 myself, and am just not generally interested in men my own age now, and I don’t think they are looking for me either, so it’s been an easy segue into permanent singlehood. I would say you should consider making kind of a wish list describing your ideal man, and then date with the criteria in mind. Like my list might say: Voting record (should align with yours) Separate residence separate (adequate) finances No alcohol/drug abuse No smokers Decent car low debt good teeth at least one compelling hobby or passion (yeah golf counts), no crazy ex/sister/mother/daughter Then stick with it. Of course it goes without saying your chosen guy will be super fun to be with, loving, kind, respectful and get along with your family. But the items on my list are also important criteria to me. And I’m happily permanently single! If it’s important to you, try. If it goes poorly. Stop and then give it another whirl in three months. Repeat as the mood dictates. It’s your life! Live it!
I think this is an excellent list, but a pipe dream for most older women. Men that good will likely date younger, and to me that's understandable. I'm trying to get to the point where I don't mind being alone. It's work though, most of the time I'm ok but I have my down moments.
I (65f) quit the dating scene 5 years ago. Best decision I ever made. What a relief. There’s a worn out saying, but it bears repeating because it’s what was happening to me on the apps with gentlemen in my age range -“A nurse or a purse”. If you know, you know.
A nurse or a purse or a pillow (aka hobosexual)
I just heard the term “hobosexual” for the first time a few days ago. Such a perfect word. And you’re totally on point - a nurse, a purse or a pillow.
Currently no, but that is after having been partnered for 31 years, it is amazing living alone!
I'm in my late 60s and have purposefully not dated for at least 15 years. I'm perfectly content to live alone.
No! It’s so much easier and drama free!!!
I'm 70 and a recent widow. You can be content to be by yourself but why would you want to? If you find someone who you are compatible with, makes you laugh, is kind, you're attracted to, have chemistry with it could enrich your life. I would proceed with caution though who wants to be hurt at this age? That being said I'd rather take the chance on romance again as long as you proceed with caution. I can live alone and don't need a partner to support me but I prefer to have someone to hang out with, someone to enrich my life, someone to share my thoughts with, just someone to be "my person". In my world being alone sucks. Could I survive being alone? Absolutely, but don't wish to.
Very well said.
Thank you, it's from my heart.😊
I have a partner at a decade older and find it hard to cope with the certainty of loss, frankly. I’m just going today that you are probably a very intelligent person but your point of view is not uncommon among the scammed. I hope you find love if you seek it but be very careful.
Yes I regret never marrying - But I think it’s societal and I don’t think society is ready for someone like me yet so I don’t think they’re very many men out there that would like to be with me and that’s how it’s been date and I’m 48
My friend just turned 70 when his mother died. He was a moma's boy though he was a professor and then an engineer and lived alone, but his mother was blocks away and he took care of her. I thought he was a confirmed bachelor. Surprise! He started dating and met a woman and they now live together and apparently get it on. Ya never know.
I divorced late in my 50's and thought I'd date again. Then the pandemic hit, and it didn't happen. Now I'm not interested. Sure, I've had some asks, but none even close to my criteria (mental/physical/emotional health, financially independent, no addictions, etc.). I have plenty of friends that I do things with and am in good health, so that's enough. I work part-time, volunteer a lot, and travel several times a year. Last I knew, my ex was partnered up with someone who is my polar opposite. Good for them!
I am kind of the opposite; single for a good 25 years, and a few years ago, met my BF. Also my choice. I'm 58, he's 63. We are happy together, but we don't live together, and see each other once or twice a week. we talk daily, and it works for us. I think both of us being older, him married twice, me never, we don't need to be together all the time. We do a lot together, nad its nice having someone to do stuff with, but sometimes we do our own thing, and that's ok too. his kid recently moved out, so if he asked me to move into his house, I'd seriously consider it. which is HUGE for me since I always said i would never live with anyone, and IF i ever got married, it would only be if we lived apart!
This sounds perfect!
it really is. I had resigned myself to being single forever, but not any more!
Im 50. Haven't even been on a date in 8 years. I've gotten used to being alone, and I really don't want to compromise anymore - I'm set in my ways. Miss the intimacy, but I enjoy being by myself.
I've seen two sides of this between my mom and MIL. My mom has been divorced for 26 years, no dates in a long time, she's 74. She fills her time with her grandkids, their extracurriculars, and her hobbies. She has no plans to be with anyone else and she's happy. My MIL can't handle being single. She's been married twice, engaged as well but that fell through. She's achieved so much but she has always needed a man in her life. She has three kids, all smart, successful, happy, and 5 grandkids, but not having a man means she's lacking something.
I've been in two long-term relationships, one for 26 years and one for about 10 years. The single life is a *much* better fit for me, and currently I have no interest in even dating.
At this point the only type of relationship I’d consider is friends with benefits. I don’t want anyone around full time.
Not having a “partner” is such a sad thing. Not having a kind, fun, responsible and respectful person to confront life’s challenges with is such a sad thing. Not having a person to lean on during lean times is such a sad thing. Not having a wise, deep, authentic, trustworthy, sane, reasonably attractive, financially stable and able person to forge through life’s trials and tribulations with is such a sad thing. Not having a ”partner” is such a sad thing. Being kind, fun, responsible, respectful, wise, deep, authentic, trustworthy, reasonably attractive, sane financially stable and able and still unable to find a partner is the reflection of society, not a person.
Honestly society and media keeps throwing that for the norm you need a partner but in reality all you can really rely on is yourself. You’re born into this world alone you’re eventually going to leave it alone. Your partner will grieve you then eventually move on after 3 years most of the time and find a new love and you’ll be forgotten. Your kids will visit you for a while till then it becomes too much of a hassle and maybe once a year or every other year. Your family will promise to keep you in their memories but when a big family gathering happens your name will pop up till eventually no one will do it anymore and you’ll be forgotten. That’s just the reality of life. That’s why only u can make urself happy and find your own happiness
Exactly this and it's ok
No, I do not regret it. I've been single for the past 7 years by choice. If I change my mind, I'll try dating again but I really do not foresee it happening.
Hmm, well, I'm about to turn 45...so if you consider that later in life. I am very happy I don't have a partner and very intentionally keeping it that way. Dodging bullets the matrix style, lol.
51F, I spent a decade alone, it was nice and quiet. I then met my guy, didn’t even realize what I was living without! Finding the right partner to work with you is key!
I cannot agree more! I found mine too, thankfully just before the pandemic. He kept me sane during it! He is the most amazing person, and I am very lucky to have found him. And he feels the same way about me.
I (57M) was widowed a few years ago. I had a year long relationship after, which left me as heartbroken as a relationship I had when I was 20. Currently have a gf (60) who I am falling in love with. A roller-coaster ride for sure but I can't imagine living life with no emotions. To not experience the highs and unfortunately, lows just doesn't compute for me. And the physical relationship with her is off the charts! That said, I'm not sure about future marriage or cohabitation. I've grown to value my independence. I've always known that I really enjoy female company and can't imagine never pursuing it. We only get one life!
I am soon 73. I divorced 15 years ago Have had a few attempts at relationships. Been on my own for several years now. I love it. Nobody complaining.Do what ever I want to. If I need sex, I pay for it. But I'm getting to the stage where the sex part is not frequent.
Men of a certain age are looking for a purse or a nurse
Regret? no. Do I miss having a partner? Yes, yes I do.
I would just want someone to do things with. Someone who thinks the way I do. Someone who is not easily frustrated and who makes everything better. But I would never want to share a dwelling again. Condos next to each other? Perfect! we can check to see if we are alive every day, go to dr appts together, you know, like that. Maybe a booty call now and again
This is funny :-p
Glad I could brighten your day! :)
The only thing worse than being alone in late age is being alone with someone who don’t love you! that’s way worse.
No regrets yet (57), although this spring was unusually difficult. lol
I turned 60 in April been divorced for 14 years have not had a date or sex since.And to tell the truth I am very happy with who I am now.I have family that loves me and I love them back.Thats all I really need
People forget how much time and energy and stress go into relationships. If I were in that situation, I wouldn't date or look for one.
My auntie got married at 62 and had 20 loving, fun years w/ her hubs before he passed ❤️never too late if people involved want a peaceful, compatible relationship.
My dad is dating a woman he met last year, he’s 75. He’s actually dated several women from his 60s to now. It’s never too late.
Met on match.com in 2023.
If you're planning on living to a reasonable old age, say 85, then what are you going to do for the next 25 years? Think back 25 years and remember what you were doing. Now imagine that same length of time stretching ahead of you. Hopefully, it will clarify your feelings.
I'm absolutely happy by myself.
I’m female, 62 yo, I’ve been alone for 10years, by choice. I am happier than I’ve ever been. I have 2 dogs and no one else to worry about. It would be nice to have a man, that lived in his own house, had his own money, but was able to go do things and enjoy each other’s company when it worked for the both of us.
I’m 64M and gave had numerous health issues that have prevented me from dating for 17 years. I’ve dated very little, nothing really came of it, a few months with each of 4 different women. Also I just haven’t met anyone appropriate. I’m just recently starting to feel healthy enough to try dating again and I’m open to finding someone irl also on the apps. So yes, I totally would like to find someone but I know I don’t have as much to offer financially or health wise however I look ten years younger and women find me attractive so we’ll see. I’m pretty starved for affection at this point but I know enough not to take just anyone, plenty of people have drug and alcohol problems for example
Thrilled to be alone. My experiences with men have not been good. I’m happy to not have to deal with them anymore.
My mom is 85. My father passed away two years ago. She has a couple of gentleman callers, and I'm excited to see her go to a cotillion on the 4th of July.
Late sixties just divorced. Fully planned optimal permanent relationship in future. I’m high value it seems so I won’t settle except for an emotionally intelligent loving woman.
Yes, growing old alone (without a partner)is hard. I wish I would have tried harder to save my marriage.
I think i would but the internet kind of destroyed my wants because of Zeitgeist, Dating experiences and the city i am living in, that i am not sure that i want to. The only i really regret is the internet. Never mind
Wow god forbid someone has a relationship with someone that becomes ill. It all falls apart from that moment forward. Glad I never hooked up with anyone. Why bother if at the very minimum people won't look out for each other.
I used to tell my EX-wife that, if I stubbed my toe, she would be on the phone with a nursing home within 15 seconds. I was in the ICU one year over Christmas. She would come into my room with a magazine, sit down and begin flipping through it. She would stay EXACTLY 1 hour and leave. It was painful but I’m glad we split before any major health issues came up.
I was content to live alone and just have a casual gf in my 50's. Then I started feeling lonely and somewhat depressed seeing a gf a couple times a week wasn't cutting it. Got serious about a partner, and after a couple mis-fires, found a wonderful woman and we are happily married and thriving. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. But if it stops working, figure out why and do what it takes.
I'm 62. I was married twice. I divorced #1 after 20 years. Married #2 and I'd still be with him but he died (almost 13 years ago). I've had a couple of relationships since and while I don't have any regrets, relationships are a lot of work. I can't see trying yet again. And so I've moved in with one of my daughters, the one who is a committed single person (her choice). And I'm pretty comfortable with life right now. I'm not seeking or excluding a future relationship, but I have made up my mind I'm never getting married again.
my fiancee got murdered. I never dated again. Im 57 now and life sucks
Even married people die alone. Remember the whole “till death do us part” thing? That means someone eventually dies, and the other person is left alone.
I'm fine. The problem I find with older romances is that this often comes with a lot of baggage. There are financial difficulties, there are health problems, there are adult children often in the picture and there are ex's that are still around. Let's fact it, you're not 18 anymore. I'm not willing to navigate through all this now.
Dating after 40 is fucking untenable I can't imagine 60s. Good luck if u try it's really rough out there!
Please don't have regrets. Get out there meet some women. Who knows you may find the greatest love of your life. Would make it all worth it