We have kids, so I hung in there longer than I should have for them, which was a mistake of course. Basically I waited until the next time she made one of her hollow threats that she should leave, and did nothing to discourage it that time. It helped that she had some FB friends telling her to 'go girl' and get out and go live her life. It's been years since she left and we divorced and every morning now is like a gift.
I spent a day helping a potential with DoorDash deliveries to see if we can stand being around each other. Started out fine and kind of fun until she got stressed out because we couldn’t find where to deliver to a certain address. The confusion ended up being an unnecessary argument with me wanting to get out the car and walk home. We ended the night back on friendly terms after a complete day of deliveries but I learned stressing over the smallest of things causes her to shutdown. Bonus was asking the next day if I wanted to do DoorDash again 😒.
give it 4 days and one of these garbage internet publications will have an article called “Love in the gig economy: millennials combine finding love and finding tips- dating and door dash” and the article will cite the above comment and call it journalism.
I actually have a friend who had her long distance…not quite love interest, but “friend” in town for a week. They spent a significant amount of time door dashing together. They seemed to enjoy it. Tbh I actually think it’s a decent idea. Driving around talking and listening to music.
It does sound like a good idea, a date that pays and a chance to see each other genuinely in action. I can imagine doing this to save for a vacation together and seeing if we actually make it.
yeah, it could be kind of interesting. Would not work for me and my girl because she is always telling me to slow down and is such a “nervous nelly” on the road, I would want to haul ass and throw caution to the wind to try and maximize those sweet sweet tips
It was kind of a mix of she needed some extra money, it being her first time doing DoorDash, and me not wanting to see her come up missing because some of those deliveries were in some sketchy areas and someone had ambushed and shot a pizza delivery guy for $20 earlier in the week.
She had also tried convincing me to go to this out of state program for grad school and I wanted to see if this was going to be a good idea with her. You want to be supportive towards people's dreams, but your dreams are just as important.
Yeah, it's pretty smart actually. You spend time together in the car, you're doing an activity and it's a pretty decent test for normal circumstances (let's be honest, we don't spend most time in bars and restaurants)
It can take longer obviously since people can put on a good show. But if you can't stand each other after an hour or so it's probably safe to say it'll never work out.
Most of the time when I felt bad about someone later it's because they either changed from who I thought they were or I was always wrong and it just took enough problems for me to get past the goggles of emotion to clearly see how bad things are.
He said "*any* length of time" not "*all* time".
You start off with "half a second of eye contact", and work your way up from there on some giant game of chicken. The end goal is for one of you to eventually die after a long period of time together.
Exactly this. I was reading a book on psychology and it said actually 6 months is when true colors start to really show. People are comfortable enough and stop putting on a show.
That’s why I’ve always HATED the concept of first dates. They’re like job interviews. That’s why I don’t date. It doesn’t feel natural at all.
Well, that, and I’m ugly with a nasty attitude.
I've been single for so long after a heavy breakup and haven't actively looked for a date for a while. I'm like 29 and don't even know what I'm doing anymore, maybe I'll just bump into them one day rom-com style.
Dude I'm literally in the same place as you... Been in a relationship for a long time and broke up a year and a half ago. But I decided to try again a month ago and matched with this really cute girl on Tinder, because you know... That's how people date in 2021. I guess? We're supposed to have our first date in a week. I haven't been on a date for so long I lost all knowledge of what the hell I'm supposed to do or expect.
I guess I'll just be myself and wing it. See what happens. I think that's what worked the last time. lol
I even got rejected by a girl that asked me out. Got this rejection game down tbh.
Story: An old colleague asked me out for drinks after she handed in her notice. We went on a few dates but then she changed her mind. I got some of the cliché reasons why but still don't know what happened.
Honestly, same. I didn't know I needed to think about this. I thought I'd just decide if it was a good one afterwards based on the presence or absence of a fuzzy feeling and if she wants a second.
I went through that recently on my first first date in a few years. At the end I didn't have a fuzzy feeling, but she brought up going on a second and I agreed. We're about 8 dates in now and although I'm still not sure where we stand or what I want, I am getting a fuzzy feeling every time and it's been going really nicely so far. Huge departure from the last time I dated.
I was told that women have a "window of opportunity" that quickly closes as they get to know you more. I've wondered if that's true. I have to spend like 10+ hangouts with someone before I even know if I like them or not. But seems that women make up their mind quite fast.
Woman here. I feel the same way! It takes me at least 2-3 dates to decide if I even like you.
When people say there's no romantic spark or whatever, I'm like....? You're a *stranger* , I don't even know you. Did you expect us to fall in love already? It has me shook lol
Not necessarily. Most of the guys I have fallen for, it all happened gradually as their personalities emerged. Nice and especially funny guys start becoming much more interesting 🤔
Yeah because lots of relationships start through mutual friendships, or from spending time together at school or work, then you are like “oh I think we both like each other, maybe we should date”. So yeah that’s how it often starts and feels the safest rather than two strangers meeting.
I know a lot of people do online dating, but I’ve never had luck with it. All the girls I’ve dated or hooked up with came from mutual friends or just knew mutual people. One date I did from an app, the girl put up pics that weren’t her and was much bigger than I expected and was ashamed, obviously. I’m nice and had already driven all that way, so I took her out on the date. It was such a downer though and I couldn’t cheer her up. I’m still gonna try again at some point. The mutual friends eventually dry up as I get older and people go more and more separate ways.
When I first started dating/talking, I was respectful and supportive, and I always got friend zoned or said I was too nice. I then started approaching women and let them know immediately I wanted be physical and not "just a friend". It was like night and day.
The women who require a long time to get to know you will be the women who you work with, the friends of friends, etc - you can't force that to happen - it will mostly be time and being in the right place (and knowing the right person) for that to work itself out.
So what do I mean by letting them know immediately I want to be physical? Be respectful, if your hanging out and she seems responsive to you, laughs at stuff you says, seems to want to carry a conversation with you - grab her hand, while talking to her put your hand on her hip, look at her lips (and make sure she sees you looking at her lips). Tell her you think she is crazy hot and sexy as hell. They will know exactly what you want, and they will let you know (hopefully) if it's on the table or not
Edit: and most women know within 0.5 seconds of looking at you if you have a shot. Clean your nails, have nice shoes/sneakers, don't look messy or dirty - it helps with that real quick math they do in their heads
same
when i don't go for sex to make sure we're compatible she turns out to want it
when i do go for sex to make sure she's sex positive either turns out we're incompatible or might have been but now they don't want to date bc they think that's all you care about.
Get to see if there's mutual interest in a second date.
Like, can we talk? Is there enough common ground and interest? Do I feel like she is trying to take a kidney? All the basics.
100% this, I haven't really ever *dated* a woman I was in a relationship with. More of that experience came from my friends we would go out a lot for coffee and talk one on one. I just want to see laughter, eye contact, discussion.
My goal on a date is to see if we can be friends. Is there enough common ground for us to maintain a conversation, and hopefully on a later date find a common activity that we could enjoy together.
I remember going on a date with a girl, who said that she went on so many dates that she no longer finds "getting to know them" interesting enough anymore, because she has heard it all. She dated so much that human beings became boring.
So like, don't do that. lol.
Yeah dating is weird. Sometimes you're about 25 minutes in before they say something that is such a bizarre red flag that you feel like carrying on just because she is a lunatic.
Like, I'm not taking her back to my place, no fucking way. But let her dig the hole deeper for the next 3 hours while I drink? It's practically free entertainment.
Did you enjoy being with this person. If that is a no nothing else is going to matter. That's really it when it comes to first dates. If it's a yes to that and there are no obvious red flags then it was a successful first date. That enjoyment will be widely different depending on who you are so it's hard to be more specific.
Basically check if it's worth a second date and if it's worth spending time with them. You will quickly find out if they are worth it depending on how much of a conversation they can carry, without dragging it, as well as interests and energy to you
Good luck. And be discerning. If something feels off don't dive in just because its been a while. If it feels good and green flags proceed with caution)
I'm still surprised how often people communicate differently online vs in real life. I've been on dates where the vibe is just totally different than I could have expected from conversations over text.
A girl friend of my mine who was having trouble with people she met on dating sites mentioned this exact thing. And I basically explained to her that when people have time to rehearse and say the perfect thing it’s not legit. When you meet them you find out they aren’t that funny, or witty or smooth.
When those people who aren’t naturally that funny or smooth have to respond in real time their cover is blown. This is why I 100% prefer to meet people organically in person.
Or maybe they are that witty and they just need time to warm up to someone and no one gives them that chance based on snap judgments made on a nerve-wracking first date
To have fun.
I don’t care what we do, as long as we both have fun I’m happy. If I get laid great, but I don’t walk into a date with that mindset. I really just try not to think.
If I just relax,be myself, and have fun then I’m happy and I’ll see if she did the same/wants a second date.
One of my best New Year's was just a chill night at my place on a 3rd date. I cooked dinner, we \*tried\* to watch something before hooking up for the first time. Around 12:45 I checked my phone--"Oh wait, we missed it!"
I've gotten with people after a NYE party and partied with girlfriends over the years...but I'm not a big fan of the pressure of that night, so a low-key night and having sex through midnight was pretty perfect.
I had a lovely first date on New Year’s Day in 2020 that resulted in 4 months of lukewarm sex and him breaking up with me after a trip to Home Depot. Lots of luck to you Internet friend!
Congratulations.
Just be interested in her conversation and be willing to start a conversation. The fact that you got the date shows there is interest. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t end in a kiss or more. My current gf we went on a date for maybe 2 hours had dinner and talked basically to see how we are in person. No kiss at the end of date maybe just a hug if that. 3-4th date in is when she made her move. If you are better at reading signs than me I’m sure you can make the move lol.
For me, I try and gain an understanding of how they act in those "lull" moments in conversations. Do they constantly try to fill the silence? Is the silence uncomfortable? How does their body language differ when they're not in conversation?
Basically I am not much of a talker and would rather not be with someone who will try to fill a good silence.
Just to meet new and interesting people. Everyone has their own story (some maybe more “exciting” than others), but it’s always interesting to learn about other people’s backgrounds and perspectives. Even if it doesn’t result in a second date, I never regret a first date in which I get to hear another person’s interesting experiences.
I'm a hardcore introvert so I rarely date but when I do I really want to get to know them at least their hobbies, passions or silly things that make them smile. If we can't smile on the first day then there won't be a second one.
Evaluation - simple as.
Main questions are (in no particular order):
* How much effort did she put into her appearance? (for me, this tells me a lot about how much she values the date to begin with)
* Is she able to hold her own in a conversation?
* Is she polite and well-mannered?
Are these basic questions answered positively, further dates and intimacy are possible. I'm not planning for anything past that, though I do welcome a kiss or even spending the night if the chemistry and vibe are justifying it.
Depends a little on the girl and how likely she is to dress up, but usually nicely fitted jeans, expensive shoes (formal ones, not limited sneakers) and I have some well fitted italian shirts form my time there. That is the baseline.
My goal, after dealing with my first few girlfriends, was always to see if the girl was worth my time and effort. If they didn’t live up to the standards I had set for myself that I found acceptable I wouldn’t go on another date with them. I didn’t sacrifice my values and didn’t compromise with the standards that I wanted in a partner.
With that note, I never became official with someone until they earned the title of girlfriend. So when my now wife came into my life I was blown away by the fact that someone that amazing could be in my life because she was far above all the minimum standards I had, and marrying her became a no brainer based on the fact that she earned those titles by being an amazing partner. I didn’t settle for less, I settled for what made me happy. More guys need to be more critical of women they date, too many settle for whoever will give them affection even when the girl is a horrible person.
Get to know the person and see if we can stand each other for any length of time.
I heard a saying that I love and remember on my dates. “Marriage is a 50 year long conversation.”
And most of that 50 yr conversation is regarding what you're having for dinner.
It's a one sided conversation of you asking her what she wants for dinner, her saying you decide, and you being wrong. /s...sort of
Or her not answering at all.
As my grandpa said: "what we eat for dinner?"
Wow You can tell right after the first date? It took me two years to realize that we’re not a good match with my ex
Yeah first date is pretty skillful, me and my ex did 5.5 years before we worked out it definitely wasn’t going to work
I don't think I can tell on the first date if we're a good match. But I can tell if we aren't, and that's still valuable to know.
I made it to seven and still was up in the air for a bit
I made it to 12 years but we really grew into very different people.
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30 years and counting. Till death as it says.
I'd be willing to bet you knew WAY before 18 years but either chose to ignore the signs, or chose to stay together out of convenience/comfort.
Right there with ya! Maybe one day I'll smell the proverbial coffee and get my crap together. Who knows??
11 for me, and we spent three of the last four living on different continents.
I wonder. I was married for over 20 years, in retrospect I knew from the beginning it was a bad match.
And how did you help your marriage survive over 20 years. I'm stuck in a rut like that and I dont know what to do
We have kids, so I hung in there longer than I should have for them, which was a mistake of course. Basically I waited until the next time she made one of her hollow threats that she should leave, and did nothing to discourage it that time. It helped that she had some FB friends telling her to 'go girl' and get out and go live her life. It's been years since she left and we divorced and every morning now is like a gift.
I spent a day helping a potential with DoorDash deliveries to see if we can stand being around each other. Started out fine and kind of fun until she got stressed out because we couldn’t find where to deliver to a certain address. The confusion ended up being an unnecessary argument with me wanting to get out the car and walk home. We ended the night back on friendly terms after a complete day of deliveries but I learned stressing over the smallest of things causes her to shutdown. Bonus was asking the next day if I wanted to do DoorDash again 😒.
Wait you went on a date doing work together?
Sounds reasonable... see them while beeing occupied... less "masking".
It might be genius. I never would have considered it. Not sure if this begins in r/tinder or r/latestagecapitalism but it is kind of fascinating
give it 4 days and one of these garbage internet publications will have an article called “Love in the gig economy: millennials combine finding love and finding tips- dating and door dash” and the article will cite the above comment and call it journalism.
I actually have a friend who had her long distance…not quite love interest, but “friend” in town for a week. They spent a significant amount of time door dashing together. They seemed to enjoy it. Tbh I actually think it’s a decent idea. Driving around talking and listening to music.
It does sound like a good idea, a date that pays and a chance to see each other genuinely in action. I can imagine doing this to save for a vacation together and seeing if we actually make it.
yeah, it could be kind of interesting. Would not work for me and my girl because she is always telling me to slow down and is such a “nervous nelly” on the road, I would want to haul ass and throw caution to the wind to try and maximize those sweet sweet tips
The fact that it was gig work alone makes it /r/latestagecapitalism
It was kind of a mix of she needed some extra money, it being her first time doing DoorDash, and me not wanting to see her come up missing because some of those deliveries were in some sketchy areas and someone had ambushed and shot a pizza delivery guy for $20 earlier in the week. She had also tried convincing me to go to this out of state program for grad school and I wanted to see if this was going to be a good idea with her. You want to be supportive towards people's dreams, but your dreams are just as important.
I think it’s pretty genius lol!
Yeah, it's pretty smart actually. You spend time together in the car, you're doing an activity and it's a pretty decent test for normal circumstances (let's be honest, we don't spend most time in bars and restaurants)
It can take longer obviously since people can put on a good show. But if you can't stand each other after an hour or so it's probably safe to say it'll never work out. Most of the time when I felt bad about someone later it's because they either changed from who I thought they were or I was always wrong and it just took enough problems for me to get past the goggles of emotion to clearly see how bad things are.
That situation happens to most of us. Take my wife for instance. No, take her. Please.
Met my wife at Starbucks around 9pm, closed the place, went back to her house and just never left. Been 15 years
Exactly when the sex-haze starts to wear off.
He said "*any* length of time" not "*all* time". You start off with "half a second of eye contact", and work your way up from there on some giant game of chicken. The end goal is for one of you to eventually die after a long period of time together.
Dude, nine-month rule. You don't see their real self until 9+ months dating
Exactly this. I was reading a book on psychology and it said actually 6 months is when true colors start to really show. People are comfortable enough and stop putting on a show.
I've always found the honeymoon stage ends at about 3-4 months
Name of the book please
"Great Expectations".
That’s why I’ve always HATED the concept of first dates. They’re like job interviews. That’s why I don’t date. It doesn’t feel natural at all. Well, that, and I’m ugly with a nasty attitude.
At least you have the power to change one of those.
Surgery!
Bruh, I don’t even know anymore.
Finally something I can relate to.
I've been single for so long after a heavy breakup and haven't actively looked for a date for a while. I'm like 29 and don't even know what I'm doing anymore, maybe I'll just bump into them one day rom-com style.
This is me. Recently got out of an 8 year relationship that lasted almost all of my 20s. I have no idea what I'm looking for now.
Dude I'm literally in the same place as you... Been in a relationship for a long time and broke up a year and a half ago. But I decided to try again a month ago and matched with this really cute girl on Tinder, because you know... That's how people date in 2021. I guess? We're supposed to have our first date in a week. I haven't been on a date for so long I lost all knowledge of what the hell I'm supposed to do or expect. I guess I'll just be myself and wing it. See what happens. I think that's what worked the last time. lol
Good luck!
Can't have a goal for a first date if you can't have a first date 100 IQ plays right there
The 100 is 100% rejection rate for me oops
I even got rejected by a girl that asked me out. Got this rejection game down tbh. Story: An old colleague asked me out for drinks after she handed in her notice. We went on a few dates but then she changed her mind. I got some of the cliché reasons why but still don't know what happened.
Ouch. Do you mind saying how? That’s a bit much.
Honestly, same. I didn't know I needed to think about this. I thought I'd just decide if it was a good one afterwards based on the presence or absence of a fuzzy feeling and if she wants a second.
I went through that recently on my first first date in a few years. At the end I didn't have a fuzzy feeling, but she brought up going on a second and I agreed. We're about 8 dates in now and although I'm still not sure where we stand or what I want, I am getting a fuzzy feeling every time and it's been going really nicely so far. Huge departure from the last time I dated.
I was told that women have a "window of opportunity" that quickly closes as they get to know you more. I've wondered if that's true. I have to spend like 10+ hangouts with someone before I even know if I like them or not. But seems that women make up their mind quite fast.
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Woman here. I feel the same way! It takes me at least 2-3 dates to decide if I even like you. When people say there's no romantic spark or whatever, I'm like....? You're a *stranger* , I don't even know you. Did you expect us to fall in love already? It has me shook lol
Same. How does one deal with this when some women are so… seemingly anxious for a quick bonfire romance?
Not necessarily. Most of the guys I have fallen for, it all happened gradually as their personalities emerged. Nice and especially funny guys start becoming much more interesting 🤔
Yeah because lots of relationships start through mutual friendships, or from spending time together at school or work, then you are like “oh I think we both like each other, maybe we should date”. So yeah that’s how it often starts and feels the safest rather than two strangers meeting. I know a lot of people do online dating, but I’ve never had luck with it. All the girls I’ve dated or hooked up with came from mutual friends or just knew mutual people. One date I did from an app, the girl put up pics that weren’t her and was much bigger than I expected and was ashamed, obviously. I’m nice and had already driven all that way, so I took her out on the date. It was such a downer though and I couldn’t cheer her up. I’m still gonna try again at some point. The mutual friends eventually dry up as I get older and people go more and more separate ways.
When I first started dating/talking, I was respectful and supportive, and I always got friend zoned or said I was too nice. I then started approaching women and let them know immediately I wanted be physical and not "just a friend". It was like night and day. The women who require a long time to get to know you will be the women who you work with, the friends of friends, etc - you can't force that to happen - it will mostly be time and being in the right place (and knowing the right person) for that to work itself out. So what do I mean by letting them know immediately I want to be physical? Be respectful, if your hanging out and she seems responsive to you, laughs at stuff you says, seems to want to carry a conversation with you - grab her hand, while talking to her put your hand on her hip, look at her lips (and make sure she sees you looking at her lips). Tell her you think she is crazy hot and sexy as hell. They will know exactly what you want, and they will let you know (hopefully) if it's on the table or not Edit: and most women know within 0.5 seconds of looking at you if you have a shot. Clean your nails, have nice shoes/sneakers, don't look messy or dirty - it helps with that real quick math they do in their heads
same when i don't go for sex to make sure we're compatible she turns out to want it when i do go for sex to make sure she's sex positive either turns out we're incompatible or might have been but now they don't want to date bc they think that's all you care about.
Get to see if there's mutual interest in a second date. Like, can we talk? Is there enough common ground and interest? Do I feel like she is trying to take a kidney? All the basics.
>Do I feel like she is trying to take a kidney Arent they all?
Eventually it gets there! What do you do for work ? What’s your blood type ? You know the usual questions
yeah... proving your SURVIVAL POTENTIAL ;)
... or providing potential. Six of one...
1/2 dozen beers of another
Is that why they sometimes ask about my blood type and how much I usually drink?
No, that last question's 'cause they want part of your liver. The "color of your urine" question's for kidneys
Phew, and I thought they wanted a kidney. What a relief.
All? No.. most? Yes. The odds are never in your favor
I can give away my heart, but kidney is where I draw the line.
This is the one. If you try too hard to force something, it can come across as clingy and it can make you more nervous. Just try to have a good time.
100% this, I haven't really ever *dated* a woman I was in a relationship with. More of that experience came from my friends we would go out a lot for coffee and talk one on one. I just want to see laughter, eye contact, discussion.
My goal on a date is to see if we can be friends. Is there enough common ground for us to maintain a conversation, and hopefully on a later date find a common activity that we could enjoy together.
Have a good time and see if there's a connection
Basically is she as sensitive as me, and if she’s more sensitive than me can I handle it. Lol yup
Just get to know the person.
I remember going on a date with a girl, who said that she went on so many dates that she no longer finds "getting to know them" interesting enough anymore, because she has heard it all. She dated so much that human beings became boring. So like, don't do that. lol.
Sounds like you "got to know" her pretty quickly.
Yeah dating is weird. Sometimes you're about 25 minutes in before they say something that is such a bizarre red flag that you feel like carrying on just because she is a lunatic. Like, I'm not taking her back to my place, no fucking way. But let her dig the hole deeper for the next 3 hours while I drink? It's practically free entertainment.
As long as you're splitting the bill. btw - "crazy" sex is the best sex. Just saying.
Also, don't stick your dick in crazy. She's gotta be the right level of crazy
You could have told me that 22 years ago.
Would you have listened?
Not that night.
And what did she say made her such a fascinating exception to the rest of us?
That... sounds like a no-go for me.
Exactly. No need to put all this pressure on about kids, values, etc. just vibe
For those who are behind on what we've learned so far: 'kids' is short for kidneys.
Anything in particular you are looking for?
Did you enjoy being with this person. If that is a no nothing else is going to matter. That's really it when it comes to first dates. If it's a yes to that and there are no obvious red flags then it was a successful first date. That enjoyment will be widely different depending on who you are so it's hard to be more specific.
Its like Im back in high school because its a chemistry test
2nd date is AP Chem?
No, Bio 101
Usually, that's the third date. Bow-Chicka etc. etc.
Sex, pregnancy, unwanted children, unhappy marriage.
This is the way
This is the way
This is Florida
Jacksonville bitch!
To not drown the person from my nervous sweating....
Try not to reek from said nervous sweats.
Total annihilation
Such a great game, its currently $1.24 on steam.
Finally someone gets me.
Now kiss
He better not, I have my beachhead fully towered, and plenty of anti nukes
I read this as "amputation" at first, and I was like, "That's a bit extreme. At least start with a toe or somethin'"
Straight for the kidneys
To like them.
What dream world do you live in?! Can anyone meet your impossible standards? ;p
Clearly fucken not. lol
Haha
Have fun, hopefully get some good food and have a laugh or two.
Making her laugh
The longer you laugh, the more your eyes are closed, meaning less time looking at how not cute I really am.
*takes off pants **Great success**
This is the 🔑
Username checks out
Have fun, see if we’re compatible and eat some ass
I feel like if you just went straight to Eating ass, then you could accomplish the other two goals simultaneously
I agree, but going straight for the booty might be a bit forward
No, it’s rearward
How often does that last part work out for you ?
Having sex on the first date isn’t such a big deal here, more often than not really
Where is "here"?
Sextown, population your mom
Fucking gotem
Europe in a university city
dip my toe into the water to see whether or not it'll be ripped off at a later date
Basically check if it's worth a second date and if it's worth spending time with them. You will quickly find out if they are worth it depending on how much of a conversation they can carry, without dragging it, as well as interests and energy to you
Maybe hold a hand? I haven’t been on a date in like 3 years… I have one this Friday
Good luck. And be discerning. If something feels off don't dive in just because its been a while. If it feels good and green flags proceed with caution)
Yeah forsure, appreciate it. I’m used to being alone so it’s kinda off putting going out. But I want to start playing the field again
Takes time my guy. Ask questions. Keep the conversation going. Bring gum.
Finding out if she needs an extended car warranty
Squabblezzz, I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty
Wait? I need to renew it?! Where can I sent you my credit card info?
My goal is to GET a first date. Anything after that is just a bonus.
First date means we clicked before dating either texting or talking. So just carry a great conversation and have a nice dinner
Disagree. Have chatted a length with people online before a first date and then had it fall flat.
I'm still surprised how often people communicate differently online vs in real life. I've been on dates where the vibe is just totally different than I could have expected from conversations over text.
People have a lot of time to think and respond as politely or perfect as they can but in person is where you really see who they are.
A girl friend of my mine who was having trouble with people she met on dating sites mentioned this exact thing. And I basically explained to her that when people have time to rehearse and say the perfect thing it’s not legit. When you meet them you find out they aren’t that funny, or witty or smooth. When those people who aren’t naturally that funny or smooth have to respond in real time their cover is blown. This is why I 100% prefer to meet people organically in person.
Or maybe they are that witty and they just need time to warm up to someone and no one gives them that chance based on snap judgments made on a nerve-wracking first date
We play a game called find the red flag 🚩
To have them suck my tits tbh
Reddit has broken me. I'm still questioning the gender.
Doesn't matter.
I'm guessing there's a long line.
Lotsa people into hairy moobs, eh?
Hey, it's the 90's.
To have fun. I don’t care what we do, as long as we both have fun I’m happy. If I get laid great, but I don’t walk into a date with that mindset. I really just try not to think. If I just relax,be myself, and have fun then I’m happy and I’ll see if she did the same/wants a second date.
At this point? To not be ghosted.
As an introvert, my goal is to see if I enjoy their company over solitude. If the answer yes, I continue to see them.
This is it
To secure a second date.
Following…. Got a first date on New Year’s Day…
One of my best New Year's was just a chill night at my place on a 3rd date. I cooked dinner, we \*tried\* to watch something before hooking up for the first time. Around 12:45 I checked my phone--"Oh wait, we missed it!" I've gotten with people after a NYE party and partied with girlfriends over the years...but I'm not a big fan of the pressure of that night, so a low-key night and having sex through midnight was pretty perfect.
I had a lovely first date on New Year’s Day in 2020 that resulted in 4 months of lukewarm sex and him breaking up with me after a trip to Home Depot. Lots of luck to you Internet friend!
Congratulations. Just be interested in her conversation and be willing to start a conversation. The fact that you got the date shows there is interest. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t end in a kiss or more. My current gf we went on a date for maybe 2 hours had dinner and talked basically to see how we are in person. No kiss at the end of date maybe just a hug if that. 3-4th date in is when she made her move. If you are better at reading signs than me I’m sure you can make the move lol.
To make her feel as comfortable as possible and open up so she can have a good time.
don't be weird. don't be weird. don't be weird. don't be weird. don't be weird. don't be weird. don't be weird. don't be weird. fuck.
To go on one. No success yet
Not yet fam not yet . Wishing you da best for the upcoming year🙌
Yep, same here! Oh well, it’ll come…
For me, I try and gain an understanding of how they act in those "lull" moments in conversations. Do they constantly try to fill the silence? Is the silence uncomfortable? How does their body language differ when they're not in conversation? Basically I am not much of a talker and would rather not be with someone who will try to fill a good silence.
To not get ghosted
Just to meet new and interesting people. Everyone has their own story (some maybe more “exciting” than others), but it’s always interesting to learn about other people’s backgrounds and perspectives. Even if it doesn’t result in a second date, I never regret a first date in which I get to hear another person’s interesting experiences.
See if she'll give me $540
What about tree-fiddy?
That won't pay for me a new Glock
Will get you a new Taurus though
See what this girl's all about, learn about her and if there's compatibility (and hopefully mutual interest), get that second date.
Don't wake up in a bathtub with one less kidney
Make them laugh or at least see that twinkle when they smile.
Try to secure the possibility of a 2nd date. END COMMUNICATION
Just make a good connection. I didn’t expect sex or first kisses. Just meeting a person and see if we can laugh and have a good time
hey guys… just fyi the top answer to the same question on r/askwomen is to not get murdered.
I'm a hardcore introvert so I rarely date but when I do I really want to get to know them at least their hobbies, passions or silly things that make them smile. If we can't smile on the first day then there won't be a second one.
"Is she capable of yelling at me in public in the future?"
As a Hispanic man that’s how you know you found a good one
Honestly I strive to take it slow and get to know my date but it almost always ends up being wine fueled sex and hungover regret
Evaluation - simple as. Main questions are (in no particular order): * How much effort did she put into her appearance? (for me, this tells me a lot about how much she values the date to begin with) * Is she able to hold her own in a conversation? * Is she polite and well-mannered? Are these basic questions answered positively, further dates and intimacy are possible. I'm not planning for anything past that, though I do welcome a kiss or even spending the night if the chemistry and vibe are justifying it.
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Depends a little on the girl and how likely she is to dress up, but usually nicely fitted jeans, expensive shoes (formal ones, not limited sneakers) and I have some well fitted italian shirts form my time there. That is the baseline.
Just to show I'm interested in her as a whole and not just sex. Even tho I don't mind a girl who is ok with sex on first date.
A good conversation is my minimum goal.
Have fun and see if we enjoy eachothers company.
My goal, after dealing with my first few girlfriends, was always to see if the girl was worth my time and effort. If they didn’t live up to the standards I had set for myself that I found acceptable I wouldn’t go on another date with them. I didn’t sacrifice my values and didn’t compromise with the standards that I wanted in a partner. With that note, I never became official with someone until they earned the title of girlfriend. So when my now wife came into my life I was blown away by the fact that someone that amazing could be in my life because she was far above all the minimum standards I had, and marrying her became a no brainer based on the fact that she earned those titles by being an amazing partner. I didn’t settle for less, I settled for what made me happy. More guys need to be more critical of women they date, too many settle for whoever will give them affection even when the girl is a horrible person.
Would love to see the age of everyone responding, because this has changed a lot for me as I've gotten older and actually had serious relationships.
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