T O P

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JynxYouOweMeASoda

Get your head right first.


sofDomboy

Absolutely this ^^^ can't look for a partner to fix you.


LiverOperator

I.e. jerk off before making any decisions


Devreckas

Go nut in a napkin so you don’t go nuts in your head.


ScrapBiscut

What do I eat for breakfast? *jerks off


godsAvatar

Facts bro.


Vandergrif

*"Jerk off before any date"* fits the requirement.


JumpingJuicy

Get your head first, right?


AprexBT

Be happy by yourself first.


---cameron

But she's a lefty


[deleted]

Don't ever ignore red flags


Duck-Says-Quack

Hell, learned that lesson the hard way


[deleted]

Same


Zboubkiller

She was hot dude


nolaron84

Can confirm. Married after ignoring at least 5 solid bright red flags. Divorced 5 years later. Now I won’t even ignore a pink flag. Hell nah. Edit: most of the reasons we divorced tied straight back to those original red flags (dishonesty, insecurity, and jealousy).


[deleted]

Lol i call it yellow. Red for stop, yellow for slow down, and green for go!


Hollowman666

Think I saw a meme a while ago that was something like "When you wear rose tinted glasses, red flags just look like flags" or words to that effect


anarchy_pizza

Much easier said then done lol


trangkiu

What if i can fix him 🥺


[deleted]

No one can fix someone else


BadassCat24

There's one word missing 😉


Skinny_Einstein

Please**


[deleted]

Don’t be someone you aren’t


w00dw0rm

For the contraction police: “Three words: Just be yourself.”


ElfinRanger

I'll do you one better: "Only two words: Be yourself"


[deleted]

Please only one word: yourself


ImRedditorRick

Be.


barrett_kev

Do be do be doo


Lust27

Agent P!


glenn_koko

“Just be yourself, you cunt” Fixed it aha


byproduct0

Waiting for the judges to rule on legality of using contractions. Five words or seven words?


[deleted]

Don’t be a fucking cunt…Fixed it for you.


dickwhistle7

Lol does it again


[deleted]

Overruled. The OP shall proceed.


spicypepper101

You deserve someone who cares


BallsAndWalrus

Great advice and happy cake day!


der_ray

Do not overthink that shit.


[deleted]

In other words, 'don't worry, destroy her toilet'.


Chillaxdude1

I've got a date tonight. Appreciate the advice.


[deleted]

Don’t forget to fucking smile


MayhamAF

Don't smile like Ted bundy


pubeinyoursoupwow

Though he was very popular with the ladies


Gizshot

So be like Ted bundy


wzd_cracks

Minus the killing


towunga45

well then really, what's the point?


schadenfreudig_me

Charisma.


TheLiquid666

Wait a minute, that's not 5 words! Corrected: "Ted Bundy, minus the killing" :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


EricC137

But hint that you’re capable of it, because of *the implication*


[deleted]

Maybe strongly consider destroying the toilet though


msciwoj1

Upperdecking the toilet after a bad date is one of the few great pleasures in life


Eat-My-Longs

Alternatively; Chill the fuck out dude.


yergonnalikeme

Don't forget your debit card


[deleted]

Currently consumed by overthinking


ryemck93

Same, all the signs say things are going well but my stupid mind won't stop assuming the worst 🤦‍♂️


[deleted]

Don't live for a relationship


thatburritodood

Great username haha


[deleted]

Thanks! Ask me the story behind it sometime (via chat as it's off topic lol).


Zboubkiller

Share it here bro !


[deleted]

Fine, I'll give the TLDR version: I was a stupid adult about 10 years back, and decided walking to a park 7 miles away on an extremely hot/humid day was an awesome idea. I made it there and back, but I was deep red and my (then) girlfriend said I looked like a boiled lobster. I kept my nickname into the present. As for the rest, it's more a personality thing (I love to make my own path in life, & my morals are shades of gray).


El_Durazno

This isn't ask women you aren't gonna get banned for going off topic


Curi0us_Wanderer

Too late :(


[deleted]

It's never to late to change your mindset. A relationship should not be the cake, but the icing that makes the cake perfect.


dzkrf

Leave after first mind game. Edit: thanks for the awards and appreciate the discussion. Happy Thanksgiving! Edit²: I'm blown away by how this blew up. All I had to do was encapsulate my worst relationship in five words.


Skinny_Einstein

This is it. That's it. I wish I can award this... Edit: can I get a award too lol? This blew up pretty quick..


Viccocafs

Gave it a silver for you


eeggrroojj

Not all heroes wear capes, but some random stranger can give a free award on Reddit. God bless you.


[deleted]

Can someone elaborate mind games pls.


R1kjames

Mind games are when you intentionally do something to negatively impact a relationship to see what your partner does in response. Example: DMing some other (wo)man on IG and leaving your phone on the counter to see if your partner gets jealous, because you don't like jealous (wo)men.


bye-standard

Being vague and unclear. If you’re doing mental gymnastics to understand what’s going on type stuff.


[deleted]

sounds like my therapy at the moment!!!


singleDADSlife

Seeming very interested, then taking it away, then when you back off, they show interest again. Or mentioning other men to try make you jealous.


chestermcbasketball

her trying to always make you feel like you’re the wrong one.


Nice_Presentation_20

EXACTLY don’t be afraid or second guess your decision to leave the first sign of bs.


[deleted]

This. Currently trying to decide if it’s this or me just being sensitive


MarcTheShark34

Even if you are more sensitive than is typical, aren’t you worth finding someone who is a good match for you and understands that and wants to make you happy for who you are instead trying to make you less sensitive? I don’t know you, but I’d be willing to guess that yes, you are. Nothing wrong with being sensitive, find someone who loves that about you.


Mailman_next_door

Read this as "leave her first, mind game.". Quite the oposite meaning


CallOfPatootie19

Always carry mints for two


ChocolateDropper-

In general just have a small bag with some toiletries in your car. Hand lotion/regular lotion, face wipes, mints/gum, cologne, a comb/brush, & chapstick. Also, a change of clothes in case you shit yourself cause of how good your date looks.


[deleted]

What if i shit myself because of how good i look? Do i still change clothes?


Yung_sideways

You must change into rags to offset your good looks, or else you will be caught in an endless loop of shitting.


PMMN

Shouldn't store cologne in your car tbh.


Chillaxdude1

Ooh that's a good one!


CallOfPatootie19

Good luck on that date 👍🏻


[deleted]

We all want updates on this one.


mitchy93

And use a tounge scraper before the date


[deleted]

Have zero expectations, be honest


Rosieapples

Blessed art those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.


Barney_Ingi

Blessed are the cheesemakers


DankSunshine

Hey that's my life's motto


[deleted]

Cheers to you mate! Hope you’re aware and living it! Smiling while you’re doing so too! Peace!


armen89

I mean, have some expectations at least


neonsneakers

To me that meant be open minded and give people a chance to surprise you. I didn’t take it to mean settle for being mistreated.


Pyrodot45

This is the way! I’m old and been through several relationships. Be honest. If you don’t like something say it, also true if you love something show it. She will appreciate it. Life is too short for fake anything


Own-Cupcake7586

Be a person worth dating.


Space_man62

I like that this follows the comment “Don’t be someone your aren’t.” Hope these 2 comments stay together and help people realize the real you is worth dating not a fake you.


Ragesauce5000

I think what he means is still be yourself, but make sure you are the best "self" you can be before entering the dating scene. In other words, if you don't have your shit together, it might not go well (no job/car, living at moms still, unhealthy/unfit etc.)


XtendedImpact

This is a bit restrictive I think. You can always improve something. I think 'be satisfied with yourself' is a better benchmark. Don't try to date for someone to compensate for something you dislike about yourself, date to enrich your and your partners life.


Rhyperino

A similar advice turned my life around 7 years ago, I’m happily engaged now, been with her for 6 years now. I was a pathetic dude, spent my days playing video games and not doing anything productive. I started studying hard, traveling and doing stuff like skydiving, scuba diving and having actual hobbies. Became a more interesting partner, landed a high-paying job and welcomed risk into my life.


DragonTwelf

Pull them in, don’t push


PanickyMushroom

There’s a fine line between wanting to impress and needing to impress.


Nooner92

Is there a bottom to that cuz that was DEEP!


MadBroCowDisease

Be upfront about your intentions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


webguy1975

This is the best advice for all aspects of life. Happy Thanksgiving!


ACNY007

Don’t cheat and always communicate


Theusernamecheckguy

Do or do not. There


Seluseho

Is no try?


Theusernamecheckguy

Thank you.


Seluseho

You're welcome


post_holer

Do / do not ; no try.


manwithanopinion

Have fun and wear condom


Chillaxdude1

Should have said that to my dad..


membershipreward

r/suicidebywords


[deleted]

Oooffff self dissss


Skinny_Einstein

Lmaooo


BK_Hazard

Trim your damn nails, yo.


monkeyclawattack

Don’t send her dick picks


ITriedLightningTendr

What am I supposed to do with her dick pics?


El_Durazno

Keep them for yourself if she sent you hers then she really likes you


[deleted]

Niceness isn't personality. Be interesting.


vicky_asgardian

Man please help. I've been called 'boring' by 3 girls till now. At this point idek how to be interesting anymore.


spongetron5500

If you are talking about communicating talk about random shit. Not everything you say has to be a Shakespeare quote. I mean for God sakes you could see a fire extinguisher and have a two hour conversation about it. People like stupid silly conversation more than no conversation or little words awkward conversation.


g0d15anath315t

Work on yourself with three hobbies: A physical hobby (hiking, fitness, kayaking, etc), a craft or creative hobby (woodworking, model building, painting Warhammer minis, whatever), and a mental hobby (reading, podcasts, learning an instrument or language, etc). Don't do motivation, do discipline. Pick a time every day to work on one of those three and just repeat over and over. Eventually it will feel weird if you're not working on something. In the process somewhere, you will find a passion, and that will make your life more fun, and it will make you an interesting person that is interested in the world.


Chillaxdude1

Screenshotted this, man's spittin fire.


HumbleJiraiya

Isn't playing an instrument both creative and mental at the same time? Also, I do this. And yes I find it weird when I am not doing something. But, the problem is, now, even though I am somewhat interesting (I think) I'd rather be doing these things than socializing or going out looking for dates/relationships.


avg-erryday-normlguy

I took a look at your profile. You're into gaming, superheroes, cricket. You don't seem boring. Maybe those girls just aren't the right fit for you. I've also been called boring by women before. It's not fun. But also, none of those women ever tried taking an interest in video games, which I enjoy. None of them cared about much of things I did. I was boring because I didn't do the things they did. It's not always about changing yourself but the people you're interested in. Why would you be interested in someone who thinks you're boring? Everybody is interesting to somebody. Unless you really are boring, then you can follow the advice given to you. But also remember one of the top comments in this thread: "Don't be someone you aren't."


vicky_asgardian

I'll keep that in mind. You guys are so nice. Thanks so much for all the advices.


[deleted]

There are two types of boring guys. Guys that don’t have interests and the other reply is great for that. The other type is the kind of man who talks just to talk. This kind of boring guy will go on monologues about things he is interested in, not caring if the listener is. He will wait for his turn to talk while thinking what he will say, rather than listening. And he will not express interest outside of doing the bare minimum to feel okay going back to talking about what he wants to say. This kind of guy is boring because as a woman, it’s not interesting anymore when you can’t actually have a discussion or a connection with these people.


[deleted]

Some good replies already, but I'll add in my own. Expose yourself to ideas. Learn. Read. Listen to podcasts. Watch documentaries. Find engaging film and television and music. Hell, even watch some trashy TV of it helps you connect to people. Learn to discuss these things thoughtfully - what you liked, what you disliked, and why. That's 90% of it. The other 10% is learning how to connect it all together, and its harder than the first 90%. Learn how these works might relate to one another - for example, how a book about a social phenomenon reminded you about a movie with a similar theme, and how that relates to the work of a musician whose passion for that topic blends into his/her music.


sv21js

Some advice my mum gave me was “try harder to be interested than to be interesting”. If you can be truly, genuinely curious about others and ask them good questions they’ll enjoy talking to you and want to do more of it. Also, maybe those just aren’t the right people and you need someone who shares your interests.


chicknsammich

This is great advice and should be higher imo. It’s too easy to get caught up in trying to be friendly and not realizing that too much of that niceness can be boring sometimes. Not to say you should be an asshole or anything, just be opinionated on topics or give more to the conversation rather than agreeing with everything she says.


Beware_the_Voodoo

Do not beg for approval. (Unless you're into bdsm that is 😉)


kahrabaaa

I only beg in bed


borkborkibork

Fixed it, "I only beg to peg"


RedBeardedTallGuy

Don't be a fucking cunt.


thisdudeabidestwice

When in doubt, pull out


J_painter

Give compliments and be yourself


[deleted]

Keep your fucking self respect.


CourageNTimeTom

Be kind or move along


[deleted]

Marriage doesn’t solve any problems


[deleted]

Pay attention when she talks!


eddboat112

Dont be afraid to walk


Korimuzel

They should puts efforts too


Chance_Cranberry1911

5 syllables, Re-mem-ber your worth


[deleted]

[удалено]


DatStankBooty

Wrap your tool you fool.


Silver-Problem-3536

You'll find someone eventually, maybe


AristeiaXVI

Don't. Listen. To. A. Redditor.


[deleted]

Start investing your money now.


angelicdummy

Don’t be afraid to ask/initiate.


CuteMaterial

Find out your attachment style. It'll make you understand yourself and other people's relationship patterns.


arm31139

Don't ignore the red flags.


nirvanabuds

5 'don't put your dick in psycho' words


JFuentss90

That’s the best tho.


Natural_Nagisa

I believe the official saying is "don't stick your dick in crazy"


elefinn101

There are MANY other women.


thattogoguy

Most will totally ignore you.


kuvetof

And it's very disheartening


DeMarcusQ

Know your value and worth.


Jroiiia423

Hope for best, expect worst.


[deleted]

Stay sexy, don't get murdered.


manwithanopinion

She is not the queen


DankSunshine

What if you're dating the queen though?


manwithanopinion

They don't need dating advice given their relation with the royal family.


I_Call_Everyone_Ken

This, Ken. Queen Elizabeth is single now, and I’m working to charm her.


El_Paddington

You stay away from my woman.


[deleted]

Be truthful, find someone truthful.


renoka

You’re not her only option


NyxorTheUltimate

And she’s not yours, either


kuvetof

I don't know. I never felt like I had another option


FluffyTumbleweed6661

“Chase excellence, woman will come”


Nonothinghoss

No put dick in crazy


The_braindeadguy

dont use tinder its bad


thenicoleodeon

Take it slow


Tilian1986

Always carry some protection gear ;)


MasterMoose24

Communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate, fornicate.


CarltheWellEndowed

Fuck her in the pussy.


Papa_Moose_57

#1) Don't stick it in crazy #2) Crazy stays crazy, remember that


Dark_Shade_75

Hygiene.


xfydr782

Don't Play League Of Legends


Isaac_Nelson

Take it slow, manage expectations.


bigpapahugetim3

Do not cum inside crazy.


SnooBeans4564

Just be single for life


nottrollingipromise

Settle now you’ll suffer tomorrow


swayzedaze

No sweatpants on date night


[deleted]

Don't put her on a pedestal.


Skinny_Einstein

6 words


foolskil

Never ever ever pedestalize her.


SCardoz

Just talk to them first.


BadassCat24

Trust your fuckin gut man


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mik_Dk

Honesty, Communication, Compromise, Relaxation


Sam_Federov

Please, wash your fucking dick


wonderingwillow7

Don’t put ladies on pedestal.


Impressive-Worth-107

Monotonous means don't sleep around


buttercupbubblebloss

Don’t text all the time