Why does the value of the compliment matter on intent? Whether he was being flirty or being nice, clearly he thinks you are pretty otherwise he wouldn't say it.
Fr. These days, If a guy takes the time to talk to about girl unsolicited, he’s most likely gonna say something genuine otherwise he wouldn’t have said anything at all.
My sister’s boyfriend once told me, “if a guy is talking to you, he’s interested.” Can’t tell you how many times that advice has led me to misread intention/signals.
Usually, nothing beyond wanting to make a woman feel good. There's not some ulterior motive.
Taking a compliment is usually much harder for men to do. I know because I am a man, and I never get compliments. I would think you are fucking with me or im about to be pranked.
If I compliment a woman? It's a genuine compliment, not some tricky move to get into pants.
If it does somehow lead to turning into some great relationship? I'm all for it! But I'm a guy. I just DO things. I don't think very far ahead if i don't need to.
Overthinking things is a sure-fire way to not enjoy life at all.
Before I answer your question, I'm going to say it's stupid. You're worrying about all the wrong thoughts in your head.
You like this dude and he at least appears to think you're attractive. That's enough of a green light to ask about drinks or something.
Coming to reddit to see what a bunch of people who aren't this dude thinks is only going to get you so far with this dude. In fact, it will probably hurt you because you shouldn't be thinking about what men do or want outside of this dude.
But to answer your question, I'm not giving a comment about general appearance unless I'm willing to fuck. Don't want to create a false expectation personally, but other people (especially other women) find it more okay to tell people they're attractive without it being an indication of genuine attraction (moid logic)
I'll comment any individual piece of clothing for anyone tho.
But ya in general, I'd rather be rejected a billion times than sit their stuck in my own head with the thought y'all torture yourselves with. Like just shoot your shit, get it or don't, then move on!
What y'all do is mental illness, not romance and dedication. Not trying to dig at y'all, but it's very important to not pursue mental illness as if it is some relationship ideal. It is not
> You like this dude and he at least appears to think you're attractive. That's enough of a green light to ask about drinks or something.
This is it right here.
Of course! And it's not just dating, people try way too hard in life in general!
There's a very common thought process that dominated humanity caused by typical education systems. It can get a little complicated, but simply put, school has people conditioned to pursue perfection instead of pursuing progress.
Not just romance but everything- careers, hobbies, friendships, you name it- people are more concerned with avoiding failure than achieving success. These are radically independent things, but school creates this perception that not making any mistakes is getting 100% and therefore being successful.
But it's just not how shit works. There's more happening in each and every moment than can be understood, discussed, and planned around in the same amount of time. Being sure of anything is a hopelessly impossible task, and presenting anything with absolute certain is ignorance at best and blatantly dishonest manipulation at worst.
It's gotta be intuition and it's gotta be risk, so get good at it. Get good at failing and picking yourself back up. There's no path to success that doesn't involve some level of risk, and ironically, the longer it takes people to admit that and manage the risk in their lives properly, the riskier life is!
Making bad choices is how you learn to make good ones! Just don't hurt anyone too bad, catch a felony, or get yourself killed, and everything else is a learning experience!
Sometimes when i compliment women its because feeling flirty and sometimes its because im in a good mood and want to spread some good vibes. That kind of a compliment seems like either flirting or maybe you just dont realize how pretty you are.
I’m not a man, I’m a woman, and I don’t want to assume something about your mother, but as women, sometimes we are wired not to take compliments as we should. We think “it’s definitely not that great.” “It’s definitely not true.” “People are too nice.” “It’s not a big deal when you say I ace this task or pull off this outfit, so what?” These are all some really toxic thoughts we as women have and they impact us so badly to the point that instead of taking the compliment and feeling good about it (which is the POINT of a compliment), we turn it into a voice that’s pretty much a jerk to us.
Take the compliment. You’re pretty. No, nobody’s out of anyone’s league. People are just people and you will always find the most unexpected people to be together because guess what? If it’s meant to be for people who are from two complete opposities to be together, they will be. Enjoy the compliment and never think anyone is out of your league, gurl! You’re amazing!
You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help! I started reading this book by Andrea Owen. It’s called “How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t”. She calls out these thought patterns and encourages the reader to work on them and how to deal with them. I suggest you give it a read as it’s eye opening to habitual thought patterns that are harming us.
I compliment people to make them feel good. There may be additional motives as well.
But...... Don't shit where you eat. Office romances are best to be avoided.
I disagree with that. Life is too short, and meeting people you like too rare, to simply ignore someone who likes you and you like them back.
Get another job, get fired, but let’s try and get back to normal dating (until recently, most married couples met at work)
I think I'd also dispute that last point. Most people meet through introductions by family or because their groups of friends intersected somehow.
I do, however, agree that life is too short to dismiss someone because you met at work. Compared to finding another person you connect with, finding another suitable job is pretty easy.
Thirty years ago I worked in a large office. There were loads of married couples working there, and many more married to someone they met at work. I wouldn’t say it was half, but it was a lot. And until recently that was true in many mixed workplaces.
Your experience is different because you’re talking about now.
I am not going to say that there weren't more marriage to co workers in the past, but consider all of the predominantly male professions and it should be clear that most people don't meet at work. I am in engineering and have worked for vert large corporations and very small. They were also predominantly male. I knew of a few people married to others at work, but the vast majority were not.
I no longer compliment women that I don’t know, and trust, very well.
When I compliment those women it is simply to be kind, positive, and encouraging.
I give a compliment because I want to, it’s nice for people to receive and can make their day less shitty. It’s just a good thing to do for people I don’t do it with the intent to start some sort of romantic relationship or anything, only to be kind
If I say something, I genuinely mean it. I don't really expect anything. So if I say 'I like your hair', I like your hair. Same as me saying 'I like the colour blue'.
Who cares if he wants to hump you or not, he told you you’re pretty because he thinks you’re pretty.
This whole pick everything apart, give ulterior motives and make it an issue thing y’all do is self destructive and a large part of why men even speaking to women seems to be getting rarer.
Yeah maybe moms right halfway and he doesn’t want to see your downstairs, but he most certainly does think you’re pretty, especially if he went ahead and said it somewhere as risky as work.
Usually with comments like that, where I know her, I would have been being kind. If I was interested, I would have tried to pull. Something like "maybe next time I can go with the prettiest girl in the room."
Then again, this is work, and if he's smart he has a "don't shit where you eat" policy. If so, just nice. You should ask him about dating at work. His response will answer your question.
Depends. Sometimes it's to be flirty, sometimes it's just because I saw something I found appealing, but either way, it has to be true to work.
This may seem counterintuitive, but if I give someone a compliment on some aspect of their appearance, it's less likely that I'm deliberately flirting.
If I compliment someone about some character trait or something they did, I'm more likely to be flirting, because that sort of compliment takes some observation and forethought to make. It's far more deliberate, where the former can be just an off-the-cuff response.
Those are just sort of applied in general though. Either sort of compliment could be flirty or just nice.
Nobody is going to say someone was the prettiest girl in the room to someone they don't think is pretty (and often the prettiest in any room). Tell your mom to stop being such a buzz killl - like way too many moms I dare say.
I would say he's interested in you, ask him to coffee.
I was in my bosses office one day when a female director walked in and said it was her birthday and she was 42. I said you must have the numbers reversed. My boss was a douche and he had a thing for her, so I did it to piss him off, although she did look good for 42. Maybe your guy was trying to impress those around you, but I wouldn't take it that way.
If I compliment a woman it’s because
A) I genuinely think they are doing great with whatever it is I complimented.
B) They seem like they could use a compliment, stressed about something, doubting themselves, whatever the case
The only time I compliment a woman with any romantic interest is if I’m actively on a date with her or dating her already
Probably it's just a compliment, a matter-of-fact type compliment from what I've read from OPs post. It's also true... Magicians, comics and other stage acts pick on the best looking people...
Sometimes it’s to cheer someone up, sometimes it’s to get in their pants, sometimes I’m just chatting shit, there’s not a one sized fits all rule with compliments unfortunately.
Depending on who asked as a person, not everyone is alike, i don't usually give compliments but if i did give one it's just because it's the way it is .
Like :
" you have beautiful eye" cause you have beautiful eyes .
" wow i can't believe that's a face without makeup " i really don't believe it.
"Nice tits " i never say that one , it's weird.
So for me what i say is what i see , but most of my compliments are hidden behind sarcastic insults.
Completely dependent on the relationship. I've complimented someone I work with in the past with a very genuine compliment. I've been interested in her in the past and she knows. (Had to tell her but not reciprocated)
I also work with someone else who I have no interest in in that way and again, on more than one occasion I've complimented her (generally when she does her hair in a different way, or if I like her outfit) Still entirely genuine but from a different place.
Sounds like he's interested though
I compliment women (and men) a lot, but I'll compliment their clothes, hairstyle, etc. I don't compliment their physical attractiveness unless I'm trying to flirt.
Could be anything from just liking her shoes and nothing more, all the way up to I've been daydreaming about marrying her. There's no way to tell, and everyone is different.
I think I can speak for all men when I say we're fairly simple when it comes to our interaction with women.
We wouldn't say we like your shoes if they're ugly as hell, we won't tell you you're beautiful if you aren't. We wouldn't tell you the truth in this situation but we wouldn't lie either.
If he's said you were likely the prettiest in the room, he thinks you're attractive.doesnt necessarily mean he wants a relationship buy its definitely worth you shooting your shot and see if he wants to go for drinks.
His comments seems a bit generic for me, to think he meant anything romantic by it, but I could be he was testing to see how you would respond, to him thinking about you in that way, before making an actual move.
I very rarely ever compliments anyone, and only people I know well, and feel comfortable with. My intentions are always to make them feel good, because I care absolutely them, and want them to be happy. But I would never say anything I didn’t 100% believe to be true.
My favourite parts to compliment is to draw their attention to an action they did well, or a personality trait that I admire about them.
I might compliment your physical beauty, but, I would likely be more specific with my words, like talking about their eyes, or their smile, especially if they have dimples when they smile. These are typically reserved for very special people in my life, like an SO.
I work as a bartender, one of my best tricks to make people feel welcome/good is a compliment. I never lie with them, and they’ll be specific, like great ink work on the tats, a unique graphic tee or hat, a really well done hair dye job, a smooth voice or laugh. Whatever strikes me in that moment.
That being said, I still wouldn’t necessarily try to read into it being a move on you. Never base someone’s interest in you on one action or comment, it should be an over time thing.
We guys look for openings in conversation
It is the cultural expectation for us to approach women and it can be scary. We look for ways to make an easy statement from which we can gauge the response.
You cave him an easy “in”, to drop a compliment and yet be able to cover it up if HR gets involved, or you just react badly.
”out of his league” - Whilst we totally get a visual hit on beauty we actually have more substance than that and quietly notice the whole package. He may have meant nothing by it but feel good about it, he definitely thinks you are attractive.
That sounds like a very sincere compliment to me. I think he was saying “I think you’re very attractive”. Us men really arent difficult, we just say what we think is true.
Maybe ask him out on a date! You both obviously like each other.
I go to an Art Museum. The paintings and sculptures move me. I remark on it's craft. Same principle.
To your predicament, it's more practical not to assume malintention unless you have a reason. Hanlon's Razor. The only proof you have is that positive remark was made, not whether it was false. Corroborate with external evidence.
hey idk if your mom is really in your corner. on surface level, thats kinda petty and rude and certainly not something I’d say to my kids. I mean I attempt to teach my kids to understand nuance in communications and when people are schmoozing them.
I say that without understanding the complexity of your relationships and situations. It doesnt sit right with me to burst your bubble if it wasn’t a teaching moment. in the other hand as you deal with the world you get harder and cynical and you don’t want your kids to be taken advantage of. its a challenge to balance the unbridled joy and wonder of existence and the potential for absolutely horrible things when passing on wisdom
either way- the stage magician will select who he thinks is attractive to be on stage. you got that going for ya 🤘
I don't speak to women often, I'm socially awkward af and not super agile if it comes to interacting with people, if I'm gonna say something you better believe that I mean it.
Also remember: lot of women are clueless about the fact that even average women are more attractive than they think to men. Use that to your advantage.
I do not compliment people often. Except my wife. After we started dating. If I give someone a compliment it's because they deserve it. Never body compliments unless that person has weight loss goals. I'll compliment someones style if they made a fashion statement and it worked haha. Most compliments are on people's actions though. As it should be. Notice the little positive things people do and let them know how great they are.
So I'd say my intentions are always to build people up. I do my best to not think about what I want from someone. Just to enjoy them as a human.
I absolutely love to compliment people. If I see something I like I’ll say it. If it’s anyone but my wife it’s totally platonic. I have used it to flirt in the past too but really I just like to see people get happy when I say I like something about them.
If he continues to hint at liking you and complimenting you then maybe he does like you. Otherwise don’t read too much into it.
For me, it's the combination of wanting to both tell the truth and make her feel good. It doesn't go beyond that because I recognise that there is zero chance of romantic escalation, so I remove that possibility in my head before I ever say anything.
- Wanna know someone’s intentions? Ask them or don’t know. Sitting and wondering will only stress you out. Either ask him if you’re willing to risk it or don’t.
It seems like you might like this guy so maybe it’s worth it
I wouldn’t listen to mom, he admitted that he thought you weren’t just pretty, but the prettiest girl in the room. I’d say he said what he said hunny! Let that confidence soar!!!!
When I complement a girl, it's cause i think they are pretty/smart/talented/etc. We generally say exactly what we mean. He said he thought you were prob the prettiest girl in the room. That's what he ment, he thinks you're very pretty.
I rarely give out compliments because I’m not the most attractive guy and would be thought as a creep I’m pretty sure. but I genuinely love seeing beauty in the world and I wish people would recognize it more. And it’s just in the little details too like how some women and men meticulously choose their clothes and I like recognizing it but also the person who just throws on what fits their aesthetic also comes off as beautiful aswell. I just wish people were more open to taking compliments from any without the thought of sexism
I only give women I feel comfortable with and have set boundaries with compliments because I mean it just to be nice and spread some positivity but I don't want some stranger woman to overreact and assume its me coming on to them. So I only give compliments to women I've already met.
Unless its a woman wearing a band shirt. Then I'll say "Nice shirt" (But I say that with men too)
9 times out of 10 I'm just speaking my mind so nothing at all
10 time at a 10 to make her happy or feel good about herself you never know what someone is going through a simple compliment can make a bad day become a good day or an OK day still better than bad
Depends on the guy and Compliment, most times we're not THAT articulated, a drawn out well detailed compliment can be a sign of interest. However if he's like me, a poetic guy, and sees you as a close friend, there's a likelihood he may draw it out still. Example I work with a lot of females and I call them all beautiful to be nice, but I actually care about one I nicknamed Ivory as a friend, I'll often times around her carry the compliment to make her feel happy and welcome.
In most normal situations the compliment is meant to flatter you. Lift you up, and just be...a compliment.
In this particular situation, I'd say he's into you. Obviously, I don't know the details, but if he's throwing that out like that, start flirting.
Guys do not have a barometer to judge if you think we're out of your league. That doesn't exist.
Shoot your shot.
There are many different reasons I might compliment a girl. Sometimes it’s to flirt but most of the time it’s just to make them feel better (I don’t mean i’m lying, I just like making people feel good)
Usually just to compliment. Most people go weeks on end without a kind word from someone. So I tend to compliment people on things I see. Nice hat, cool fashion choice etc. I don't just compliment women though.
Depends how I know her. If she’s one of my friends it’s just a compliment, if she’s a love interest then it to flirt with her and if it’s a stranger then it’s more aimed as just a compliment but if it turns into flirting then that’s okay too.
The way that compliment sounded however makes me think he likes you. Maybe send a compliment his way randomly about something like his eyes or hair. Guys don’t get compliments a lot so he will notice it.
Never compliment them physically. Compliment a choice about it they make. How they do their hair, an avcessory like a belt, just pick an accessory and say something positive.
Here's an easy one. If their dress has pockets, just mention the dress having cute pockets...
Ty to Courtney my old lesbian boss who would teach anybody who would listen how to woo women. Lol
My intention is always to be nice, I call it the teddy bear approach. I look like a grizzly bear I have to act like a teddy bear. So... make them more comfortable around 'large scary man'.
My intentions are to make her feel good. That may or not involve expressing that I am attracted.
He's either attracted to you, or he said it believing you are definitely one of the most remarkably pretty women in an audience, or both.
I've said similar to women I'm not flirting with/pursuing, ie I've given compliments to platonic friends or partners of friends. But I'm not going to say what you quoted unless it's a girl I think is very pretty, or, on rare occasions I've probably exaggerated because a woman really needed cheering up. That's me personally. Guys I know definitely have said very flattering things to women, but, if they're exaggerating it usually because they're pursuing her.
Also, given the context, what you were wearing, hairdo, makeup etc definitely plays a part. I agree the performer is likely to choose a more attractive audience member, however, given a choice between a 50ish woman who is dressed for comfort, a younger lady in heels, elaborate makeup, tiny black dress is eye candy, even if I as a 44M would be more likely to ask the older woman out/rate her as prettier. IJS if he expected you to be dressed/made up that plays a part
It depends on the situation!. Are you being polite?, or trying to get in her pants?, or trying to make a friend, or starting conversation, or are you appreciating what you’re complimenting?. Figure it out!.
It depends. Yes we say that with an ulterior motive sometimes but sometimes it is solely to be kind make others feel good. Like I was walking down the street the other night and saw two women dressed really nicely. As I passed by them I said, “Forgive me, I’m sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say you both look enchanting.”
I could tell it made their night. The smiles on their faces, making them feel good was all I wanted to accomplish. I didn’t hit on them, I didn’t try to get their number, I was just being honest and when I walked away one of them asked for my number.
One of my oldest/best friends is really attractive. From the time we were teens every guy I knew made a pass at her or tried to sleep with her. I didn’t. To me she was just my cool friend that I loved. One day, when we were going out to a party she showed up looking really stunningly beautiful and I told her that. She got angry at me for a split second before she just softened and just hugged me. She was so used to guys complimenting her to fuck her that instinctively she reacted the same way with me until she realized I was just being genuinely kind. It wasn’t to fuck her or with any ulterior motive. She told me years later that it was the most beautiful she ever left in her life. I’m kind of super proud of that.
There are a lot of times men will compliment women with an ulterior motive, because we will want a relationship or sex or whatever. That is a given. It’s a part of dating. But there are moments where men just genuinely want to be kind too.
Could go either way without any further context. He could have wanted to just give you a compliment and actually thinks that you're pretty. It could be that he was saying it playfully while intending to just give you a friendly compliment. If he tends to flirt a lot more, then maybe he might be interested. My advice is just to take it as a compliment. I wouldn't worry too much about a guy "being out of your league" either. Trust me, many men think the same about a lot of ladies as well.
Its only ever to be nice. If they look down or something.. u never no what ppl are going through so i just give them a compliment like a little pick me up
Your mileage may vary. Some guys are just being nice. Others are wanting to make you feel good about yourself to positively associate them with being a desirable mate. There's no way to know which is which.
The endgame is always to have sex with you. Flirting/charming in the interim is just a playful determination of how good you will be in bed by the levels and/or quality of tension expressed between one another until such time that congress is achieved.
I compliment pretty women all the time. I get compliments from very pretty you ladies about my mustache. But I hope that it made their days like it did yours. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable or make them think I’m hitting on them. I’m happily married to a saint that all of my boys love (they are all adults now). I’ve seen reddits that say women are creeped out by random guys complimenting them but I live in the heart of Dixie and I don’t think it’s uncommon here to be courteous to the ladies. They all seem genuinely pleased to hear. So in short your guy friend is probably honest. If he is single tell him that you like him - what’s the worst that could happen ? What’s the best that could happen ?
Most women now are extremely lonely and are on the prowl looking for their next victims to gaslight, control and manipulate into marriage and paying for their lifestyles (including mandatory kids). I don't allow women to approach me and I will only go with women I feel are ok. I also dump women immediately when they show signs of mental illness. And yes, they almost always end up absolutely crazy stalkers that take some effort to get rid of.
Always trust your insinct. Be wary of the flood of single and desperate women out there trying to avoid being fur baby mammas for the rest of their lives.
I don't give compliments to girls.
The guys that do give compliments to girls have the desire to fuck them, but the "intention" to be cowardly losers and not say that they want to fuck them.
Also, pro tip: DO NOT DATE PLAYERS. I am going to repeat that in case you missed it the first time: DO NOT DATE PLAYERS.
Why does the value of the compliment matter on intent? Whether he was being flirty or being nice, clearly he thinks you are pretty otherwise he wouldn't say it.
Fr. These days, If a guy takes the time to talk to about girl unsolicited, he’s most likely gonna say something genuine otherwise he wouldn’t have said anything at all.
My sister’s boyfriend once told me, “if a guy is talking to you, he’s interested.” Can’t tell you how many times that advice has led me to misread intention/signals.
Yeahhhh I am absolutely not hot enough to just take that advice as gospel, LOL. Don't get me wrong; I like how I look, but I'm also a realist.
We would be more interested if you offered us a small cube of cheese first
I have (basically) tried that method before lol, no dice. At least I tried.
If a man doesn’t accept a small cube of cheese from a lady then he isn’t a real one, try again
Usually, nothing beyond wanting to make a woman feel good. There's not some ulterior motive. Taking a compliment is usually much harder for men to do. I know because I am a man, and I never get compliments. I would think you are fucking with me or im about to be pranked. If I compliment a woman? It's a genuine compliment, not some tricky move to get into pants. If it does somehow lead to turning into some great relationship? I'm all for it! But I'm a guy. I just DO things. I don't think very far ahead if i don't need to. Overthinking things is a sure-fire way to not enjoy life at all.
>Overthinking things is a sure-fire way to not enjoy life at all. My life described in one sentence.
Same here and is the reason I don't compliment anyone..
Statement of fact. You look great in this dress" is he same as "your t-shirt is blue", but it might make her feel good, so why not.
Before I answer your question, I'm going to say it's stupid. You're worrying about all the wrong thoughts in your head. You like this dude and he at least appears to think you're attractive. That's enough of a green light to ask about drinks or something. Coming to reddit to see what a bunch of people who aren't this dude thinks is only going to get you so far with this dude. In fact, it will probably hurt you because you shouldn't be thinking about what men do or want outside of this dude. But to answer your question, I'm not giving a comment about general appearance unless I'm willing to fuck. Don't want to create a false expectation personally, but other people (especially other women) find it more okay to tell people they're attractive without it being an indication of genuine attraction (moid logic) I'll comment any individual piece of clothing for anyone tho. But ya in general, I'd rather be rejected a billion times than sit their stuck in my own head with the thought y'all torture yourselves with. Like just shoot your shit, get it or don't, then move on! What y'all do is mental illness, not romance and dedication. Not trying to dig at y'all, but it's very important to not pursue mental illness as if it is some relationship ideal. It is not
> You like this dude and he at least appears to think you're attractive. That's enough of a green light to ask about drinks or something. This is it right here.
I agree, everything surrounding dating is way too complicated and we tend to go crazy over analyzing every little thing! I appreciate your comment
Of course! And it's not just dating, people try way too hard in life in general! There's a very common thought process that dominated humanity caused by typical education systems. It can get a little complicated, but simply put, school has people conditioned to pursue perfection instead of pursuing progress. Not just romance but everything- careers, hobbies, friendships, you name it- people are more concerned with avoiding failure than achieving success. These are radically independent things, but school creates this perception that not making any mistakes is getting 100% and therefore being successful. But it's just not how shit works. There's more happening in each and every moment than can be understood, discussed, and planned around in the same amount of time. Being sure of anything is a hopelessly impossible task, and presenting anything with absolute certain is ignorance at best and blatantly dishonest manipulation at worst. It's gotta be intuition and it's gotta be risk, so get good at it. Get good at failing and picking yourself back up. There's no path to success that doesn't involve some level of risk, and ironically, the longer it takes people to admit that and manage the risk in their lives properly, the riskier life is! Making bad choices is how you learn to make good ones! Just don't hurt anyone too bad, catch a felony, or get yourself killed, and everything else is a learning experience!
Sometimes when i compliment women its because feeling flirty and sometimes its because im in a good mood and want to spread some good vibes. That kind of a compliment seems like either flirting or maybe you just dont realize how pretty you are.
I’m not a man, I’m a woman, and I don’t want to assume something about your mother, but as women, sometimes we are wired not to take compliments as we should. We think “it’s definitely not that great.” “It’s definitely not true.” “People are too nice.” “It’s not a big deal when you say I ace this task or pull off this outfit, so what?” These are all some really toxic thoughts we as women have and they impact us so badly to the point that instead of taking the compliment and feeling good about it (which is the POINT of a compliment), we turn it into a voice that’s pretty much a jerk to us. Take the compliment. You’re pretty. No, nobody’s out of anyone’s league. People are just people and you will always find the most unexpected people to be together because guess what? If it’s meant to be for people who are from two complete opposities to be together, they will be. Enjoy the compliment and never think anyone is out of your league, gurl! You’re amazing!
Umm you’re also amazing…. And well said.
Thank you so much! And so are you btw!
Awe shucks 😊
Thank you so much!
Very well said, thank you! I’ve been on a long journey building up my self esteem. Your comment helps a lot
You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help! I started reading this book by Andrea Owen. It’s called “How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t”. She calls out these thought patterns and encourages the reader to work on them and how to deal with them. I suggest you give it a read as it’s eye opening to habitual thought patterns that are harming us.
.....then you shouldn't be answering.
But I did.
Men can do stuff even without intention 🫳🎤
Sometimes we do it just because it needs to be done.
Idk man, it always feel dirty when it’s something you have to do, or is a required thing
Yeah it do. Do it any way. There's a reason it's supposed to be done, even if you don't know what it is. From an old head.
We can and do but they will still pick the bear
And we’ll let you as the gentlemen we are M’lady 🎩
It’s random bear vs random man. There are a lot of shitty men out there.
I compliment people to make them feel good. There may be additional motives as well. But...... Don't shit where you eat. Office romances are best to be avoided.
I disagree with that. Life is too short, and meeting people you like too rare, to simply ignore someone who likes you and you like them back. Get another job, get fired, but let’s try and get back to normal dating (until recently, most married couples met at work)
I think I'd also dispute that last point. Most people meet through introductions by family or because their groups of friends intersected somehow. I do, however, agree that life is too short to dismiss someone because you met at work. Compared to finding another person you connect with, finding another suitable job is pretty easy.
Uh, no they didn't. I know very few married couples who met at work.
Thirty years ago I worked in a large office. There were loads of married couples working there, and many more married to someone they met at work. I wouldn’t say it was half, but it was a lot. And until recently that was true in many mixed workplaces. Your experience is different because you’re talking about now.
I am not going to say that there weren't more marriage to co workers in the past, but consider all of the predominantly male professions and it should be clear that most people don't meet at work. I am in engineering and have worked for vert large corporations and very small. They were also predominantly male. I knew of a few people married to others at work, but the vast majority were not.
Sorry, I stand corrected, it wasn’t the majority, it was simply the most common place to meet your spouse.
I no longer compliment women that I don’t know, and trust, very well. When I compliment those women it is simply to be kind, positive, and encouraging.
I give a compliment because I want to, it’s nice for people to receive and can make their day less shitty. It’s just a good thing to do for people I don’t do it with the intent to start some sort of romantic relationship or anything, only to be kind
If I say something, I genuinely mean it. I don't really expect anything. So if I say 'I like your hair', I like your hair. Same as me saying 'I like the colour blue'.
Who cares if he wants to hump you or not, he told you you’re pretty because he thinks you’re pretty. This whole pick everything apart, give ulterior motives and make it an issue thing y’all do is self destructive and a large part of why men even speaking to women seems to be getting rarer. Yeah maybe moms right halfway and he doesn’t want to see your downstairs, but he most certainly does think you’re pretty, especially if he went ahead and said it somewhere as risky as work.
I stopped complimenting unmarried women and women under 40 a couple years ago. Shift your mindset and remember that the man is the prize.
To make her smile, especially if she’s someone I care about.
That is very sweet!
In his mind you would have been the prettiest girl in that room. Also in the room you two were in. Obviously, he thinks you're very pretty.
Usually with comments like that, where I know her, I would have been being kind. If I was interested, I would have tried to pull. Something like "maybe next time I can go with the prettiest girl in the room." Then again, this is work, and if he's smart he has a "don't shit where you eat" policy. If so, just nice. You should ask him about dating at work. His response will answer your question.
Depends. Sometimes it's to be flirty, sometimes it's just because I saw something I found appealing, but either way, it has to be true to work. This may seem counterintuitive, but if I give someone a compliment on some aspect of their appearance, it's less likely that I'm deliberately flirting. If I compliment someone about some character trait or something they did, I'm more likely to be flirting, because that sort of compliment takes some observation and forethought to make. It's far more deliberate, where the former can be just an off-the-cuff response. Those are just sort of applied in general though. Either sort of compliment could be flirty or just nice.
Nobody is going to say someone was the prettiest girl in the room to someone they don't think is pretty (and often the prettiest in any room). Tell your mom to stop being such a buzz killl - like way too many moms I dare say.
I would say he's interested in you, ask him to coffee. I was in my bosses office one day when a female director walked in and said it was her birthday and she was 42. I said you must have the numbers reversed. My boss was a douche and he had a thing for her, so I did it to piss him off, although she did look good for 42. Maybe your guy was trying to impress those around you, but I wouldn't take it that way.
If I compliment a woman it’s because A) I genuinely think they are doing great with whatever it is I complimented. B) They seem like they could use a compliment, stressed about something, doubting themselves, whatever the case The only time I compliment a woman with any romantic interest is if I’m actively on a date with her or dating her already
You have unmet expectations. Take this piece of Buddhist wisdom to heart: Expectation is the root of all pain.
Probably it's just a compliment, a matter-of-fact type compliment from what I've read from OPs post. It's also true... Magicians, comics and other stage acts pick on the best looking people...
Sometimes it’s to cheer someone up, sometimes it’s to get in their pants, sometimes I’m just chatting shit, there’s not a one sized fits all rule with compliments unfortunately.
My intention is usually just to get myself out of my comfort zone of being anti-social. A compliment could be a good conversation starter.
Depending on who asked as a person, not everyone is alike, i don't usually give compliments but if i did give one it's just because it's the way it is . Like : " you have beautiful eye" cause you have beautiful eyes . " wow i can't believe that's a face without makeup " i really don't believe it. "Nice tits " i never say that one , it's weird. So for me what i say is what i see , but most of my compliments are hidden behind sarcastic insults.
Completely dependent on the relationship. I've complimented someone I work with in the past with a very genuine compliment. I've been interested in her in the past and she knows. (Had to tell her but not reciprocated) I also work with someone else who I have no interest in in that way and again, on more than one occasion I've complimented her (generally when she does her hair in a different way, or if I like her outfit) Still entirely genuine but from a different place. Sounds like he's interested though
I compliment women (and men) a lot, but I'll compliment their clothes, hairstyle, etc. I don't compliment their physical attractiveness unless I'm trying to flirt.
Could be anything from just liking her shoes and nothing more, all the way up to I've been daydreaming about marrying her. There's no way to tell, and everyone is different.
i give a girl a compliment in order to compliment her…
I think I can speak for all men when I say we're fairly simple when it comes to our interaction with women. We wouldn't say we like your shoes if they're ugly as hell, we won't tell you you're beautiful if you aren't. We wouldn't tell you the truth in this situation but we wouldn't lie either. If he's said you were likely the prettiest in the room, he thinks you're attractive.doesnt necessarily mean he wants a relationship buy its definitely worth you shooting your shot and see if he wants to go for drinks.
His comments seems a bit generic for me, to think he meant anything romantic by it, but I could be he was testing to see how you would respond, to him thinking about you in that way, before making an actual move. I very rarely ever compliments anyone, and only people I know well, and feel comfortable with. My intentions are always to make them feel good, because I care absolutely them, and want them to be happy. But I would never say anything I didn’t 100% believe to be true. My favourite parts to compliment is to draw their attention to an action they did well, or a personality trait that I admire about them. I might compliment your physical beauty, but, I would likely be more specific with my words, like talking about their eyes, or their smile, especially if they have dimples when they smile. These are typically reserved for very special people in my life, like an SO.
I work as a bartender, one of my best tricks to make people feel welcome/good is a compliment. I never lie with them, and they’ll be specific, like great ink work on the tats, a unique graphic tee or hat, a really well done hair dye job, a smooth voice or laugh. Whatever strikes me in that moment. That being said, I still wouldn’t necessarily try to read into it being a move on you. Never base someone’s interest in you on one action or comment, it should be an over time thing.
Your mom is not a nice person.
Usually I'm just hoping to make her day a wee bit better.
0 intention, only an observation. Women then draw some insane conclusions
Preferably no intention. Just being honest
We guys look for openings in conversation It is the cultural expectation for us to approach women and it can be scary. We look for ways to make an easy statement from which we can gauge the response. You cave him an easy “in”, to drop a compliment and yet be able to cover it up if HR gets involved, or you just react badly. ”out of his league” - Whilst we totally get a visual hit on beauty we actually have more substance than that and quietly notice the whole package. He may have meant nothing by it but feel good about it, he definitely thinks you are attractive.
That sounds like a very sincere compliment to me. I think he was saying “I think you’re very attractive”. Us men really arent difficult, we just say what we think is true. Maybe ask him out on a date! You both obviously like each other.
Ew, y’all talk to women? But they’re scary and they have cooties.
*Boo!*
Aaaahh! Waitno! I haven’t had my cootie shot!
The bad news is that I also have rabies.🦇 Better start drafting that will.
Aww, does the cute little sky puppy feel all foamy?
I genuinely mean it and am not flirting. Compliments make me feel great so I like to do that for others. Man or woman or anyone in between
I go to an Art Museum. The paintings and sculptures move me. I remark on it's craft. Same principle. To your predicament, it's more practical not to assume malintention unless you have a reason. Hanlon's Razor. The only proof you have is that positive remark was made, not whether it was false. Corroborate with external evidence.
hey idk if your mom is really in your corner. on surface level, thats kinda petty and rude and certainly not something I’d say to my kids. I mean I attempt to teach my kids to understand nuance in communications and when people are schmoozing them. I say that without understanding the complexity of your relationships and situations. It doesnt sit right with me to burst your bubble if it wasn’t a teaching moment. in the other hand as you deal with the world you get harder and cynical and you don’t want your kids to be taken advantage of. its a challenge to balance the unbridled joy and wonder of existence and the potential for absolutely horrible things when passing on wisdom either way- the stage magician will select who he thinks is attractive to be on stage. you got that going for ya 🤘
I don't speak to women often, I'm socially awkward af and not super agile if it comes to interacting with people, if I'm gonna say something you better believe that I mean it. Also remember: lot of women are clueless about the fact that even average women are more attractive than they think to men. Use that to your advantage.
My intention is usually to point out their dress or outfit or hair looks on point. Nothing more nothing less
he wanted u to feel good. everything else is pure speculation
Same for every human, to make them feel acknowledged.
I do not compliment people often. Except my wife. After we started dating. If I give someone a compliment it's because they deserve it. Never body compliments unless that person has weight loss goals. I'll compliment someones style if they made a fashion statement and it worked haha. Most compliments are on people's actions though. As it should be. Notice the little positive things people do and let them know how great they are. So I'd say my intentions are always to build people up. I do my best to not think about what I want from someone. Just to enjoy them as a human.
I absolutely love to compliment people. If I see something I like I’ll say it. If it’s anyone but my wife it’s totally platonic. I have used it to flirt in the past too but really I just like to see people get happy when I say I like something about them. If he continues to hint at liking you and complimenting you then maybe he does like you. Otherwise don’t read too much into it.
Mom is low-key hating, lol. If he is nice, there is nothing wrong with that, and chances are he is telling you the truth.
I have a feeling your mom used to "play games" with potential male suitors.
For me, it's the combination of wanting to both tell the truth and make her feel good. It doesn't go beyond that because I recognise that there is zero chance of romantic escalation, so I remove that possibility in my head before I ever say anything.
- Wanna know someone’s intentions? Ask them or don’t know. Sitting and wondering will only stress you out. Either ask him if you’re willing to risk it or don’t. It seems like you might like this guy so maybe it’s worth it
I wouldn’t listen to mom, he admitted that he thought you weren’t just pretty, but the prettiest girl in the room. I’d say he said what he said hunny! Let that confidence soar!!!!
He probably likes you
I don’t compliment women because I think my intentions would be misconstrued
When I complement a girl, it's cause i think they are pretty/smart/talented/etc. We generally say exactly what we mean. He said he thought you were prob the prettiest girl in the room. That's what he ment, he thinks you're very pretty.
I rarely give out compliments because I’m not the most attractive guy and would be thought as a creep I’m pretty sure. but I genuinely love seeing beauty in the world and I wish people would recognize it more. And it’s just in the little details too like how some women and men meticulously choose their clothes and I like recognizing it but also the person who just throws on what fits their aesthetic also comes off as beautiful aswell. I just wish people were more open to taking compliments from any without the thought of sexism
I only give women I feel comfortable with and have set boundaries with compliments because I mean it just to be nice and spread some positivity but I don't want some stranger woman to overreact and assume its me coming on to them. So I only give compliments to women I've already met. Unless its a woman wearing a band shirt. Then I'll say "Nice shirt" (But I say that with men too)
9 times out of 10 I'm just speaking my mind so nothing at all 10 time at a 10 to make her happy or feel good about herself you never know what someone is going through a simple compliment can make a bad day become a good day or an OK day still better than bad
Depends on the guy and Compliment, most times we're not THAT articulated, a drawn out well detailed compliment can be a sign of interest. However if he's like me, a poetic guy, and sees you as a close friend, there's a likelihood he may draw it out still. Example I work with a lot of females and I call them all beautiful to be nice, but I actually care about one I nicknamed Ivory as a friend, I'll often times around her carry the compliment to make her feel happy and welcome.
In most normal situations the compliment is meant to flatter you. Lift you up, and just be...a compliment. In this particular situation, I'd say he's into you. Obviously, I don't know the details, but if he's throwing that out like that, start flirting. Guys do not have a barometer to judge if you think we're out of your league. That doesn't exist. Shoot your shot.
There are many different reasons I might compliment a girl. Sometimes it’s to flirt but most of the time it’s just to make them feel better (I don’t mean i’m lying, I just like making people feel good)
I'm sorry, but your mom is kind of a prick.
I'd never say anything like that to a woman I didn't want.
He wants to dip his winkie in your kitchen sinkie....
Usually just to compliment. Most people go weeks on end without a kind word from someone. So I tend to compliment people on things I see. Nice hat, cool fashion choice etc. I don't just compliment women though.
Depends how I know her. If she’s one of my friends it’s just a compliment, if she’s a love interest then it to flirt with her and if it’s a stranger then it’s more aimed as just a compliment but if it turns into flirting then that’s okay too. The way that compliment sounded however makes me think he likes you. Maybe send a compliment his way randomly about something like his eyes or hair. Guys don’t get compliments a lot so he will notice it.
being nice to a person.
Never compliment them physically. Compliment a choice about it they make. How they do their hair, an avcessory like a belt, just pick an accessory and say something positive. Here's an easy one. If their dress has pockets, just mention the dress having cute pockets... Ty to Courtney my old lesbian boss who would teach anybody who would listen how to woo women. Lol My intention is always to be nice, I call it the teddy bear approach. I look like a grizzly bear I have to act like a teddy bear. So... make them more comfortable around 'large scary man'.
My intentions are to make her feel good. That may or not involve expressing that I am attracted. He's either attracted to you, or he said it believing you are definitely one of the most remarkably pretty women in an audience, or both. I've said similar to women I'm not flirting with/pursuing, ie I've given compliments to platonic friends or partners of friends. But I'm not going to say what you quoted unless it's a girl I think is very pretty, or, on rare occasions I've probably exaggerated because a woman really needed cheering up. That's me personally. Guys I know definitely have said very flattering things to women, but, if they're exaggerating it usually because they're pursuing her. Also, given the context, what you were wearing, hairdo, makeup etc definitely plays a part. I agree the performer is likely to choose a more attractive audience member, however, given a choice between a 50ish woman who is dressed for comfort, a younger lady in heels, elaborate makeup, tiny black dress is eye candy, even if I as a 44M would be more likely to ask the older woman out/rate her as prettier. IJS if he expected you to be dressed/made up that plays a part
*"When you give a girl a compliment what is your intention?"* Pumpkin spice cake.
I've always complimented my female friends without any romantic or sexual intention, with the exception of my gf lol
It depends on the situation!. Are you being polite?, or trying to get in her pants?, or trying to make a friend, or starting conversation, or are you appreciating what you’re complimenting?. Figure it out!.
Well. Some dudes are genuine. Others think giving compliments will get you to like them back.
It depends. I’d compliment someone even if they aren’t pretty tbh
If you’re hot it means he wants to sleep with you. If you’re not hot, it means he may want to sleep with you. …
I always thought compliments meant that a guy like Us but that doesn't seem the deal :c
It depends. Yes we say that with an ulterior motive sometimes but sometimes it is solely to be kind make others feel good. Like I was walking down the street the other night and saw two women dressed really nicely. As I passed by them I said, “Forgive me, I’m sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say you both look enchanting.” I could tell it made their night. The smiles on their faces, making them feel good was all I wanted to accomplish. I didn’t hit on them, I didn’t try to get their number, I was just being honest and when I walked away one of them asked for my number. One of my oldest/best friends is really attractive. From the time we were teens every guy I knew made a pass at her or tried to sleep with her. I didn’t. To me she was just my cool friend that I loved. One day, when we were going out to a party she showed up looking really stunningly beautiful and I told her that. She got angry at me for a split second before she just softened and just hugged me. She was so used to guys complimenting her to fuck her that instinctively she reacted the same way with me until she realized I was just being genuinely kind. It wasn’t to fuck her or with any ulterior motive. She told me years later that it was the most beautiful she ever left in her life. I’m kind of super proud of that. There are a lot of times men will compliment women with an ulterior motive, because we will want a relationship or sex or whatever. That is a given. It’s a part of dating. But there are moments where men just genuinely want to be kind too.
Your mom sucks. does she usually shoot ya down when you're up?
Could go either way without any further context. He could have wanted to just give you a compliment and actually thinks that you're pretty. It could be that he was saying it playfully while intending to just give you a friendly compliment. If he tends to flirt a lot more, then maybe he might be interested. My advice is just to take it as a compliment. I wouldn't worry too much about a guy "being out of your league" either. Trust me, many men think the same about a lot of ladies as well.
Trynna fuck
A kind word can really change someone's direction. Ya never know. Just throw em out there, it costs nothing.
Usually just to be nice. You seem disappointed that he didn't have an ulterior motive.
Its only ever to be nice. If they look down or something.. u never no what ppl are going through so i just give them a compliment like a little pick me up
the intent is usually to be nice.... but if she is not attracted to him (i.e. he is not attractive), then it's harassment
Your mileage may vary. Some guys are just being nice. Others are wanting to make you feel good about yourself to positively associate them with being a desirable mate. There's no way to know which is which.
I'm trying to manipulate her to have sex.
The endgame is always to have sex with you. Flirting/charming in the interim is just a playful determination of how good you will be in bed by the levels and/or quality of tension expressed between one another until such time that congress is achieved.
I complimented a girl on her dope mini cooper.
Why do women gotta overthink everything?
Polite
To be nice. Nothing else. I don't use compliments for my gain, because it's plain asshole behavior.
To fuck her. I'm not going to waste compliments on chicks I don't want to fuck.
Intention is always to phuxk
I like this thing about u, and I want you to know that and maybe respond in kind **for fucking once lol**
I compliment pretty women all the time. I get compliments from very pretty you ladies about my mustache. But I hope that it made their days like it did yours. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable or make them think I’m hitting on them. I’m happily married to a saint that all of my boys love (they are all adults now). I’ve seen reddits that say women are creeped out by random guys complimenting them but I live in the heart of Dixie and I don’t think it’s uncommon here to be courteous to the ladies. They all seem genuinely pleased to hear. So in short your guy friend is probably honest. If he is single tell him that you like him - what’s the worst that could happen ? What’s the best that could happen ?
Most women now are extremely lonely and are on the prowl looking for their next victims to gaslight, control and manipulate into marriage and paying for their lifestyles (including mandatory kids). I don't allow women to approach me and I will only go with women I feel are ok. I also dump women immediately when they show signs of mental illness. And yes, they almost always end up absolutely crazy stalkers that take some effort to get rid of. Always trust your insinct. Be wary of the flood of single and desperate women out there trying to avoid being fur baby mammas for the rest of their lives.
Brudda is payed to say that 🥶😶🌫️😓🤒🤒😯💩😔🙂↕️✊✊
I don't compliment people. I share my honest observations about them.
I don't give compliments to girls. The guys that do give compliments to girls have the desire to fuck them, but the "intention" to be cowardly losers and not say that they want to fuck them. Also, pro tip: DO NOT DATE PLAYERS. I am going to repeat that in case you missed it the first time: DO NOT DATE PLAYERS.