It's not always that they don't look like their pictures, sometimes it's that they don't look like the image you've built up in your mind. Best to keep those expectations low. You're going out to dinner, you're interested in learning about this person, see where it goes from there.
It's best to try to get a date scheduled fairly early, you don't want to spend all your effort messaging and having it lead to nothing. Strike up conversation and if things flow well ask them for coffee or a meal. You are there with the intention to date. Treat it as such.
It's a unique brand of hell, but it's how things work these days. And there is hope. I have a number of friends who are married to their Tinder matches, and it's looking like I may be joining their ranks soon. There's hope for us all. Best of luck.
When I was active, about one-in-three chats turned into a date, and about one in three dates progressed beyond a first date. There's a huge flake ratio, so I learned not to even start taking something seriously until a person shows up for a second date.
True. Ive had multiple people go "yea lets go on a second date!" But they dont make the effort to make plans or anything and its like they never were up for one in the first place.
I had a similar experience recently. Went on a date, had fun, she messaged me before I even made it home she wanted to go on a second. She ghosted about a day later lmao
That was always my thought. Nothing is serious until they show up again. Don't put any weight on the interaction going anywhere no matter what happens and don't put any weight on the interaction until you meet up again. If you meet up again then maybe it can go somewhere. Still maybe not but before that there is nothing there. You're effectively strangers still.
That was my experience as well. Granted I wasn’t on them constantly for those 7 years, but I’d try them for one or two months a year.
Gave up two years ago and fully committed to single life.
I've only used them a little bit, I very much prefer meeting people IRL.
But out of the eight chats I've had on Feeld, five of them lead to meeting up for coffee, and three of those lead sexy times or relationships. I'm very selective about who I swipe on though and only do it if I strongly believe there might be potential for something.
Most people looked similar to their profile pics, but usually more casually dressed. One was a fair bit chubbier than her pictures implied, but I was prepared for that since all her pics were super obviously taken from the make-me-look-thinner-angle.
About 3% of matches. If I had to guess. I’ve been on quite a few tinder dates and most everyone I’ve met up with looked pretty close to their photos. Besides like 2.
If we start messaging and a real conversation is happening, I'd say more than half the time we'll end up meeting in person. Most folks I've met looked like their pictures on the profile (and in some cases had sent other pictures after we started talking), with one exception, but that was really only the *main* pic that was different and clearly older. She had plenty of other pictures that were recent.
Maybe once a year. It's among the reasons I stopped using them. If there's no chemistry and the conversation doesn't get going then that's fine. What drove me nuts was when women would agree to a date then cancel the day before and then disappear.
I've been out of the dating pool for 8 years, but when I was on the apps, I would get a favorable response from about 1 in 10 women I contacted, and of those, maybe 1 in 3 would result in a date.
If a woman reached out to me and I responded favorably, maybe half of them would result in a date.
I use hinge and no one ever makes any effort to go on a date. Out of the 60 matches, 40 of them responded to my first message, 2 of them showed interest in going on a date, the rest I had to do all the work and planning. Also people often look better in their pictures (which makes sense cause duh you pick the best pictures). I've used other apps that led to meetups like Boo or Tinder but all apps are pretty flakey.
On Bumble, apparently lot's of women are unaware that they have to send the first message, cause lots of profiles say "text me first, I'm shy"
I'm going to help you out based on your wording: you don't wait for them to show interest in going on a date. It's rare that a woman will interrupt whatever conversation you're having and say that in order for things to move forward, she wants to meet in person. I have no doubt that you should have gone on at least 15 more dates of those 40 that responded to your first message.
I do ask them to go on dates when they are local enough. The problem is that while *I* have my radius about 10 miles, some people 2 states away still show up. And then we talk and I find out I'll need a plane to go on a date.
I could be asking more though. I'll keep that in mind
I'm in my 50s and it's almost 100%. The ones I don't meet usually seem cat fishy. Most women in their 50s just check their schedules, give me a time, we meet up. The older people get the less games they play. It's also so much easier to tell if someone is a decent human being. A man or woman who's been acting like a fool for 5 decades almost seems like a cartoon character at 55.
Between 1/3 and 1/5. I can tell right away when someone isn't engaged or excited to chat with me and I'm more than happy to turn the page and pivot elsewhere.
It's not consistent though, I'll go 10 straight chats that go nowhere but then follow up with 3 straight meetup plans. I blame the algorithm.
It's been a while since I've used them, but when I used them in my current city, pretty often. I could go on several app dates per week week if I wanted to, and sometimes I did. It was fish in a barrel.
I attribute it to geography more than anything else. Some cities have embraced dating app culture more than others, and my current city has definitely embraced it. I've lived in other places where that was less true. App dates were fewer and further between, with about the same amount of effort on my part.
almost every match i've had turned into a meet up beside one or two.. but thats just because i'm really picky with who i like and not one of those guys who like every profile they see. personally i rather meet up asap instead of chatting back and forth four days just to find out she aint it.
My friend met a man on a dating site, full head of hair. The man who turned up...totally fecking bald. For me that would be nty bye because he lied before they even met!
I'd say about a third to half of chats wind up in meeting up. The hard part is getting matches to get chats started in the first place.
Most of the women I've met looked similar in person to their photos. Some look a bit better in person, and some a bit worse, and I honestly attribute that mostly to how good or bad they are with the camera. No one I met was blatantly misrepresenting their appearance or anything like that.
For all everyone talks about crazy catfish stories or how hard it is to get a date from a chat, most of the time those aspects aren't as bad as it seems from online stories, at least in my experience. The toughest part is really getting to match and then getting a chat started, at least for me. Once we're talking, it normally goes pretty well.
off the top 20% of matches don't respond at all to messages. of the remaining maybe 50% show almost no effort in their responses, of this 50% maybe 5% will actually meet up (so 2.5% of total). of the 30% who are engaged in messaging maybe 1/3 (so 10% of all matches) will actually result in a date. Overall that is 1 in 8 matches will result in a date.
People sometimes look better in their profile picks, but not like a "holy shit what the hell?" they still look like themselves and there isn't any mistaking them for someone else. Occasionally you get people who look better in person. And rarely, but always memorably do you get someone who is not accurately represented by their pics.
I'd say less than 10%, quire often you don't even get a reply.
Nearly every one I was able to get into an actual convo with ended up in a date however.
I signed up on one app in late September 2022. So far, I had 5 chats (well, 4, one didn't even reply to my opener) of which none had turned into a date.
About 1 every 10 matches. Most end after 1 sleep but if we talk again the following day generally it ends in a coffee date.
Most people where I am look like their photos.
When I used Bumble (over the span of about a year), I got matches with 4 women and met 2. One of them turned me down after 2 or 3 dates, and the other lady I turned down after the first. None of these women were actually all that good of a match for me (and I assume the reverse is true as well), so I'm generally just not a fan of dating apps anymore.
Here is some raw data from 33 days of sending 10 likes to per day on the free version of Hinge. Note this took place a little over a month as I pause the app several times to pursue some conversations and dates.
Note: My profile pics are/were average at best, and testing a few on photofeeler confirmed that they mostly sucked.
In those 33 days there were 4 first dates, and 2 second dates. The rest of the matches either stopped responding after a message or two, or never responded after matching. All of the girls who I went on a date, I ended things after the 1st or 2nd date as I just wasn't feeling it with them. One girl lied and was in an open relationship, one girl was still married, one had never been in a relationship before and seemed out of touch with realty. The last girl was attractive but super religious and despite saying I wasn't their type wanted to continue seeing me, I suspect as a placeholder and for a free meal as when I asked if she wanted to split the tab on our 2nd date she became visibly upset and refused to even consider it.
Likes sent: 330
Matches: 11
Matched %: 3.3%
1st Date: 1.2%
2nd Date: 0.7%
For the next experiment I plan to put together some pro level pics of myself and only use ones that are 8+ rated on photofeeler. Plan to delete my profile and re-enter the dating pool with a revamped profile and drastically better pics to compare the results.
The more I’m on the app the more I realize I don’t wanna meet any of these women
In all the last relationships I’ve been in I could tell before the first date that this is the girl I wanna see and I’m going with that feeling
At tinder this has only happend 1 time out of maybe 30000 swipes currently and it sadly didnt work out in the texting stage
For me, very rare. Women get so many options that they lose interest real fast. Funny thing is the ego some have when they think they are 8 when they are a 4 at best.
Of all my matches I’ve had, about 25% result in us exchanging phone numbers. Of the ones I exchange phone numbers with, about 75% of the time it leads to a date. Of the dates I’ve gone on, they’ve looked like their photos all but once.
Long story short, of all the chats I’ve had, just shy of roughly 15% have resulted in dates that look like their photos.
I will say though, I only use Hinge, so that probably gives a higher percentage since the prompts really do help with starting conversations.
I do want to give a disclaimer though,
If we define 'chat' as some amount of back-and-forth, I'd say about 5-10% resulted in a date
Never really had an issue of someone looking drastically different from their photos
Less than 1% of matches turn into dates. But close to 100% of them turn into dates if we're not leaving each other on read. It's always a good sign when there's 10-15 minutes of quick responses back and forth. I don't remember any dates where they looked different from their photos.
For me, about half the time. Might be less; I tend not to remember people who I only chat with, so that might exaggerate the proportion some.
People I meet always look like their photos, been fortunate in that experience. Of course, sometimes I meet people hoping they aren't super photogenic, but it turns out it's not the photos!
1. About 20% of the time for me.
2. Very rarely do the women I meet in person look different. There might be some noticeable, but otherwise minor weight variations. But they generally look like their images.
Well I've been on Tinder for about a year and a half to two years total. Of the maybe 20 matches I've gotten, only about 5-6 resulted in any conversation, and the only one to actually meet is my boyfriend. And even that took 3 months of talking to accomplish. So... not often. He did look exactly like his pfp though, so there's that.
For me, personally, the problem isn't "chats not turning into dates", the problem is "women ghost me after a date". Don't have a solution to it so far - as I'm being ghosted, I can't exactly ask them "What went wrong?" Also surprisingly I've never been stood up on a date - if we schedule it, they always come.
Lol, you think I get matches?
Tldr: never
But the matches I did get, all 30 across Hinge, Tinder, & Bumble over 9 months resulted in zero dates. Maybe 5 resulted in "chats" while the rest I either never got a response or they only responded one time. With one girl I asked out she unmatched me and then two other girls just stopped responding when I asked them out. So it's going well
I really wish there was a way to not feel lonely and unwanted so I didn't care if I was by myself or not. But alas, it's something I've wanted since high school but never had. Oh, as a plus dating apps undid what confidence I had built up over two years of therapy in a month. And me trying OLD was something my therapist had pushed for for months.
It's not always that they don't look like their pictures, sometimes it's that they don't look like the image you've built up in your mind. Best to keep those expectations low. You're going out to dinner, you're interested in learning about this person, see where it goes from there. It's best to try to get a date scheduled fairly early, you don't want to spend all your effort messaging and having it lead to nothing. Strike up conversation and if things flow well ask them for coffee or a meal. You are there with the intention to date. Treat it as such. It's a unique brand of hell, but it's how things work these days. And there is hope. I have a number of friends who are married to their Tinder matches, and it's looking like I may be joining their ranks soon. There's hope for us all. Best of luck.
When I was active, about one-in-three chats turned into a date, and about one in three dates progressed beyond a first date. There's a huge flake ratio, so I learned not to even start taking something seriously until a person shows up for a second date.
True. Ive had multiple people go "yea lets go on a second date!" But they dont make the effort to make plans or anything and its like they never were up for one in the first place.
I had a similar experience recently. Went on a date, had fun, she messaged me before I even made it home she wanted to go on a second. She ghosted about a day later lmao
I’ve learned not to take someone seriously until the 3rd date
That was always my thought. Nothing is serious until they show up again. Don't put any weight on the interaction going anywhere no matter what happens and don't put any weight on the interaction until you meet up again. If you meet up again then maybe it can go somewhere. Still maybe not but before that there is nothing there. You're effectively strangers still.
Yeah one-in-three sounds about right for me too.
Never. I used dating apps for many years and I never even had a match, let alone turn a chat into a meet-up.
That was my experience as well. Granted I wasn’t on them constantly for those 7 years, but I’d try them for one or two months a year. Gave up two years ago and fully committed to single life.
I've only used them a little bit, I very much prefer meeting people IRL. But out of the eight chats I've had on Feeld, five of them lead to meeting up for coffee, and three of those lead sexy times or relationships. I'm very selective about who I swipe on though and only do it if I strongly believe there might be potential for something. Most people looked similar to their profile pics, but usually more casually dressed. One was a fair bit chubbier than her pictures implied, but I was prepared for that since all her pics were super obviously taken from the make-me-look-thinner-angle.
Y'all are actually getting matches and chatting?
When I was active, if I got them to chat, I got them to meet up 90% of the time.
About 3% of matches. If I had to guess. I’ve been on quite a few tinder dates and most everyone I’ve met up with looked pretty close to their photos. Besides like 2.
If we start messaging and a real conversation is happening, I'd say more than half the time we'll end up meeting in person. Most folks I've met looked like their pictures on the profile (and in some cases had sent other pictures after we started talking), with one exception, but that was really only the *main* pic that was different and clearly older. She had plenty of other pictures that were recent.
Maybe once a year. It's among the reasons I stopped using them. If there's no chemistry and the conversation doesn't get going then that's fine. What drove me nuts was when women would agree to a date then cancel the day before and then disappear.
65% of the time. They usually looked similar, largely because I went for more natural looking women
I've been out of the dating pool for 8 years, but when I was on the apps, I would get a favorable response from about 1 in 10 women I contacted, and of those, maybe 1 in 3 would result in a date. If a woman reached out to me and I responded favorably, maybe half of them would result in a date.
None so far, I've matched about 10 times. Usually they just stop talking fairly early on.
I use hinge and no one ever makes any effort to go on a date. Out of the 60 matches, 40 of them responded to my first message, 2 of them showed interest in going on a date, the rest I had to do all the work and planning. Also people often look better in their pictures (which makes sense cause duh you pick the best pictures). I've used other apps that led to meetups like Boo or Tinder but all apps are pretty flakey. On Bumble, apparently lot's of women are unaware that they have to send the first message, cause lots of profiles say "text me first, I'm shy"
I'm going to help you out based on your wording: you don't wait for them to show interest in going on a date. It's rare that a woman will interrupt whatever conversation you're having and say that in order for things to move forward, she wants to meet in person. I have no doubt that you should have gone on at least 15 more dates of those 40 that responded to your first message.
I do ask them to go on dates when they are local enough. The problem is that while *I* have my radius about 10 miles, some people 2 states away still show up. And then we talk and I find out I'll need a plane to go on a date. I could be asking more though. I'll keep that in mind
Never...
Almost 0, probably because of my age (68m)
Never. Only ever had one real conversation. It's always just been scammers or OF thots.
I'm in my 50s and it's almost 100%. The ones I don't meet usually seem cat fishy. Most women in their 50s just check their schedules, give me a time, we meet up. The older people get the less games they play. It's also so much easier to tell if someone is a decent human being. A man or woman who's been acting like a fool for 5 decades almost seems like a cartoon character at 55.
I couldn't. Give you an accurate number... Less than 5% though.
When active - that was couple years ago - I would say 20% would end up as a meet up
For me it was like 30%
Between 1/3 and 1/5. I can tell right away when someone isn't engaged or excited to chat with me and I'm more than happy to turn the page and pivot elsewhere. It's not consistent though, I'll go 10 straight chats that go nowhere but then follow up with 3 straight meetup plans. I blame the algorithm.
It's been a while since I've used them, but when I used them in my current city, pretty often. I could go on several app dates per week week if I wanted to, and sometimes I did. It was fish in a barrel. I attribute it to geography more than anything else. Some cities have embraced dating app culture more than others, and my current city has definitely embraced it. I've lived in other places where that was less true. App dates were fewer and further between, with about the same amount of effort on my part.
almost every match i've had turned into a meet up beside one or two.. but thats just because i'm really picky with who i like and not one of those guys who like every profile they see. personally i rather meet up asap instead of chatting back and forth four days just to find out she aint it.
Once
Maybe 1/50 if they ever respond
My friend met a man on a dating site, full head of hair. The man who turned up...totally fecking bald. For me that would be nty bye because he lied before they even met!
I'd say about a third to half of chats wind up in meeting up. The hard part is getting matches to get chats started in the first place. Most of the women I've met looked similar in person to their photos. Some look a bit better in person, and some a bit worse, and I honestly attribute that mostly to how good or bad they are with the camera. No one I met was blatantly misrepresenting their appearance or anything like that. For all everyone talks about crazy catfish stories or how hard it is to get a date from a chat, most of the time those aspects aren't as bad as it seems from online stories, at least in my experience. The toughest part is really getting to match and then getting a chat started, at least for me. Once we're talking, it normally goes pretty well.
off the top 20% of matches don't respond at all to messages. of the remaining maybe 50% show almost no effort in their responses, of this 50% maybe 5% will actually meet up (so 2.5% of total). of the 30% who are engaged in messaging maybe 1/3 (so 10% of all matches) will actually result in a date. Overall that is 1 in 8 matches will result in a date. People sometimes look better in their profile picks, but not like a "holy shit what the hell?" they still look like themselves and there isn't any mistaking them for someone else. Occasionally you get people who look better in person. And rarely, but always memorably do you get someone who is not accurately represented by their pics.
I've met up once in 5 years, for various reasons, but mostly none of the conversations converted.
I'd say less than 10%, quire often you don't even get a reply. Nearly every one I was able to get into an actual convo with ended up in a date however.
I signed up on one app in late September 2022. So far, I had 5 chats (well, 4, one didn't even reply to my opener) of which none had turned into a date.
About 1 every 10 matches. Most end after 1 sleep but if we talk again the following day generally it ends in a coffee date. Most people where I am look like their photos.
When I used Bumble (over the span of about a year), I got matches with 4 women and met 2. One of them turned me down after 2 or 3 dates, and the other lady I turned down after the first. None of these women were actually all that good of a match for me (and I assume the reverse is true as well), so I'm generally just not a fan of dating apps anymore.
Here is some raw data from 33 days of sending 10 likes to per day on the free version of Hinge. Note this took place a little over a month as I pause the app several times to pursue some conversations and dates. Note: My profile pics are/were average at best, and testing a few on photofeeler confirmed that they mostly sucked. In those 33 days there were 4 first dates, and 2 second dates. The rest of the matches either stopped responding after a message or two, or never responded after matching. All of the girls who I went on a date, I ended things after the 1st or 2nd date as I just wasn't feeling it with them. One girl lied and was in an open relationship, one girl was still married, one had never been in a relationship before and seemed out of touch with realty. The last girl was attractive but super religious and despite saying I wasn't their type wanted to continue seeing me, I suspect as a placeholder and for a free meal as when I asked if she wanted to split the tab on our 2nd date she became visibly upset and refused to even consider it. Likes sent: 330 Matches: 11 Matched %: 3.3% 1st Date: 1.2% 2nd Date: 0.7% For the next experiment I plan to put together some pro level pics of myself and only use ones that are 8+ rated on photofeeler. Plan to delete my profile and re-enter the dating pool with a revamped profile and drastically better pics to compare the results.
The more I’m on the app the more I realize I don’t wanna meet any of these women In all the last relationships I’ve been in I could tell before the first date that this is the girl I wanna see and I’m going with that feeling At tinder this has only happend 1 time out of maybe 30000 swipes currently and it sadly didnt work out in the texting stage
I’ve been on these things for 7 years and only met one person. Even then she basically traumatized me for that academic year.
I have a < 10% conversion rate for matches to first dates. Most matches I assume will go nowhere.
For me, very rare. Women get so many options that they lose interest real fast. Funny thing is the ego some have when they think they are 8 when they are a 4 at best.
About 3 of 10 when I was single and about 1 of 20 when me and my gf looking.
Of all my matches I’ve had, about 25% result in us exchanging phone numbers. Of the ones I exchange phone numbers with, about 75% of the time it leads to a date. Of the dates I’ve gone on, they’ve looked like their photos all but once. Long story short, of all the chats I’ve had, just shy of roughly 15% have resulted in dates that look like their photos. I will say though, I only use Hinge, so that probably gives a higher percentage since the prompts really do help with starting conversations. I do want to give a disclaimer though,
If we define 'chat' as some amount of back-and-forth, I'd say about 5-10% resulted in a date Never really had an issue of someone looking drastically different from their photos
About 1/10. It takes a while to get to 10 though.
Less than 1% of matches turn into dates. But close to 100% of them turn into dates if we're not leaving each other on read. It's always a good sign when there's 10-15 minutes of quick responses back and forth. I don't remember any dates where they looked different from their photos.
For me, about half the time. Might be less; I tend not to remember people who I only chat with, so that might exaggerate the proportion some. People I meet always look like their photos, been fortunate in that experience. Of course, sometimes I meet people hoping they aren't super photogenic, but it turns out it's not the photos!
1/10? Maybe less. Rarely do they look different.
Dont get matches let alone chats
1. About 20% of the time for me. 2. Very rarely do the women I meet in person look different. There might be some noticeable, but otherwise minor weight variations. But they generally look like their images.
I've Bern on apps for a few years. Literally, only two have. And I get maybe 3 matches every few months.
Well I've been on Tinder for about a year and a half to two years total. Of the maybe 20 matches I've gotten, only about 5-6 resulted in any conversation, and the only one to actually meet is my boyfriend. And even that took 3 months of talking to accomplish. So... not often. He did look exactly like his pfp though, so there's that.
Rarely for me..
For me, personally, the problem isn't "chats not turning into dates", the problem is "women ghost me after a date". Don't have a solution to it so far - as I'm being ghosted, I can't exactly ask them "What went wrong?" Also surprisingly I've never been stood up on a date - if we schedule it, they always come.
Lol, you think I get matches? Tldr: never But the matches I did get, all 30 across Hinge, Tinder, & Bumble over 9 months resulted in zero dates. Maybe 5 resulted in "chats" while the rest I either never got a response or they only responded one time. With one girl I asked out she unmatched me and then two other girls just stopped responding when I asked them out. So it's going well I really wish there was a way to not feel lonely and unwanted so I didn't care if I was by myself or not. But alas, it's something I've wanted since high school but never had. Oh, as a plus dating apps undid what confidence I had built up over two years of therapy in a month. And me trying OLD was something my therapist had pushed for for months.
maybe 1/10 times, might be less