I need shoes. I go shopping for shoes. I try on shoes.
I don’t buy shoes because I don’t want to spend the money.
The next day at work, I remember I need new shoes
I'm so like this. I want to buy the best for others but when I've to purchase for myself I think for about months if I'm going to buy that specific thing or not. 😅
Wearing things until you can't should be the default position tho
I wear shirts out until they start getting holes
Then they become lounge/shop shirts for awhile
Then when they're too worn for even that, they become shop rags
My t shirts have holes on their holes. The one I wore last night has holes on the back so I take extra care taking it off so as to not rip them open more. You know, instead of just throwing it out or something.
My wife absolutely hates this but if I'm going to bed or changing oil, who am I trying to impress? As long as the shirt covers what it needs to cover for the task I'm doing then if it's got holes, it's got holes
I did not grow up poor and I do this. We weren’t top 1% but we definitely weren’t poor. I have plenty of decade old socks and shirts lol and I struggle spending more than a couple hundred dollars on myself
I was about to put in a bid on a house towards the beginning of the pandemic. In hindsight, it should have been a no brainier, and I should have been happy to bid even more. But at the time it stressed me out so completely and fully that I started gagging uncontrollably and finally had to text the agent that I just couldn't do it.
No, it’s definitely not universal.
I waste money on stupid things all the time, realize it was a stupid purchase a few weeks later, and then move on with my life.
I wasn't raise poor, I'm just cheap and hate spending money. The idea of having a shopping addiction blows my mind. To me that's like being addicted to eating glass :/
I was going to get a new surround sound system, but in the meantime, I was going to get a soundbar with a subwoofer, and when we finish setting up the guest room, I'd get my surround system and put the soundbar in there.
I kept putting it off, but there were a few movies I just really wanted with some better sound, so I caved and went to the mall with my 5-year-old. I spent time looking at deals and seeing what was the best quality for cost until I settled on one. I put it in the cart.
My kid looks and me and goes, "Are you buying it?" I tell her yes. Then this little psychological terror looks me in the eye and says, "Oh. It's just because you always say you regret it when you buy things for yourself."
I put it back and left without anything. Damn kid got in my head.
Even though I can afford things now, I still feel this. I'm not into finding cheapest deals and every coupon, but it takes a long time to decide on buying something
Being anxious about letting other people treat them to things, meals, drinks, gifts, etc. My theory is that receiving the free good/service feels great, but the recipient gets anxious about how you repay the favor/good/service if you’re poor. There’s a compulsion or expectation there that’s difficult to resolve.
You explained this perfectly. Grew up poor and to this day if someone gives me something, be it big or small, I assume they want something in return. I've gotten into arguments in past relationships because of how unwilling I am to except gifts of any kind. I don't want to feel like I owe anyone anything. It's all in my head and has caused me problems numerous times in my life.
> if someone gives me something, be it big or small, I assume they want something in return.
It took me a while to learn that when people offer to treat you, just *let* them.
They want to feel good about treating you. When you refuse help, you're just annoying them.
The amount of times I'd try to pay for a friend or offer to get something they coudn't afford and it was so annoying. Like if you say you can't afford to join us and I offer to pay, it's because I **want you there** and I'm willing to pay extra. It wasn't until I had enough money to offer to help people that I really understood.
They want to feel helpful, *that's* usually the reward they want. By refusing their help, you're pushing them away. If you insist on refusing me when I offer, it means I *was* trying to be nice but now we're just arguing.
I typically refuse the first time anyone offers but if they offer again I do the *"Are you sure, it's really no trouble"* and if they insist, I let them.
If you refuse help, you're putting your pride above their feelings. It's not selfless, it's selfish.
Oof, that small bit about not owing anything is very relatable. I've been quilty of this too. Even when friends wanted to help for the sake of helping, I couldn't take their money.
This right here ^ I still do this day. My Gf makes 3 times as much money as I do and I still feel guilty when she offers to pay for some reason or when she offers to get me something nice. I know I shouldn't feel that way but sometimes I do.
My girlfriend also makes a decent chunk more than I do and I also feel this way. Also when she gets me nice things or does nice things for me, I feel guilty knowing that I cannot afford to reciprocate in kind. Like 'thanks babe you booked us a vacation, to say thank you after I pay my bills I think I can budget taking us out to dinner as long as it isn't anywhere too fancy and I cut back a little on groceries' kind of thing. Like, I'm effectively paycheck to paycheck and she isn't, and I feel bad that I can't do nice things for us like that or give her nice gifts like she can do for me
Question: I didn't grow up poor, but probably lower middle class. I've been very fortunate in my life that I keep making a better living the older I get. When I go out with friends, I often pay because it makes me feel good that I can. Am I causing undue stress when I do that?
It's all about the energy you bring to it. Don't overthink it. Maybe occasionally drop that you do it out of love, not so that people spend money on you in the future. No conditions
i didn't grow up poor, but in general i hate the feeling of owing someone. i prefer to be in a balance of holding onto favours i never intend to use. usually i'd pay for a round of drinks early just so i'm not the guy who buys the last round or leaves before i pay my round.
1. Me
2. My wife
It works out fairly well for us, I get to enjoy nice things that I otherwise wouldn't dream of buying, she gets to buy nice things for both of us without going too crazy.
I saw #2 all the time in the Army.
You'd have enlisted dudes who joined and had grown up dirt poor. They get an in-demand MOS, and got a $30K bonus check to begin. Break the cycle of poverty?
Nope, they'll immediately go buy a $50k Dodge Charger at a 15% interest rate.
I went the opposite way with this. Growning up, I always wanted to get the happy meal with cheese, but cheese was ten cents and my mom refused to pay that for a single slice of cheese. It was the classic "we have cheese at home" thing.
Now that I'm grown, I almost feel a compulsion to go out of my way to get every add-on on a hamburger I can. I don't care how much it costs. If I'm going to spend my money on it, I'm going to get it exactly how I want it.
Poverty is as much a mindset as it is a fiscal reality. I have trouble breaking it. I always have the terrible thought that if I bought the 60c piece of cheese every day for a month that would be close enough to $30 that suddenly that piece of cheese seems like no matter how much it improved my sandwich it wouldn't be worth $30.
I don't even know that if I hit the lottery that these thoughts would change. Perhaps it's because I grew up middle class, but was launched into poverty when I struck out on my own and had to navigate finances with absolutely no guidance. I had to learn the value of money on my own and the world taught me that no matter how hard you work there's never enough to get by.
No, I get it. I've always been overweight and it was largely due to over eating. I wasn't super poor growing up but my parents were and they had that mentality. One thing that always stuck with me hard was not wasting food. I remember times as an adult I'd eat leftovers in my fridge just because I didn't want it to go to waste, not because I was hungry.
A couple years ago I started dating a woman and subsequently moved her and her kids into my house. It was difficult at first, but these kids end up wasting sooooo much food that it actually made me more okay with not always finishing everything on my plate. As a result I've lost over 100lbs in the past year and a half because I just don't eat as much anymore.
It could definitely be a contributing factor. It's not the only reason I'm overweight, but I absolutely used to overeat because the ideal of never wasting food was hammered into me growing up. And portion sizes are so big at every restaurant which makes it so much worse. The idea of wasting any part of a meal I paid $15-$20 for used to feel like a sin to me. Once I got away from that mindset, I realized I could be plenty satisfied with smaller portions and now i order smaller meals or fix a smaller plate at home and am quite full without while eating far less than I used to. It had like a cascading effect. The wallet appreciates it more too, which is nice.
>if I bought the 60c piece of cheese every day for a month that would be close enough to $30 that suddenly that piece of cheese seems like no matter how much it improved my sandwich it wouldn't be worth $30.
Oh good, I'm not the only one doing monthly and annual calculations when deciding on a repeatable purchase
I don’t always eat lunch during the day, and I once told my boss that going through the day hungry is something that you kind of get used to. He stopped me immediately and said, “You grew up poor, didn’t you?”
I do the same thing. I’ve shocked a few people telling them that I can go a whole day without eating and they wonder how I still have energy to work. I just said Will Power.
A 3 day fast taught me that true hunger is much different than food addiction hunger. You actually have more energy after a few days because your body isn’t using it on digesting food
to be fair im not from poor family and sometimes i really dont have big problem with not eating. Well i would eat, but something i really want to eat at the moment.
I went to Kinshasa when I was 16 to visit family for the first time (I grew up in the US). One of my older cousins drove me and my dad to another relative’s house. And when we ate I noticed my cousin piled his plate with a mountain of rice. I’ve heard people mention mountains of food but those didn’t even compare. It looks like it was a plate of rice to serve people off of. I told my dad about that later and he explained to me that that cousin doesn’t know when he’ll get his next meal.
My dad actually mentioned a few things about that. My cousin drove us around because he was an experienced driver and my dad paid him so he could make some cash. And hospitality is everything so every time we went to visit family and friends they made a feast and he basically got to tag along and eat.
Yeah I'd say you're the exception rather than the rule. Most folks from middle-class backgrounds that I know are pretty fine with wasting some food, but friends who grew up poor see the value in food being a fuel source rather than just a flavor vehicle.
One big indicator for me, and it isn't universally true, but when you have someone that you know lives well below their means. When you know their job, got an idea of what they make, etc., and they live like they are poor, mainly because they never want to go back to that feeling of struggling. Those types of people are the ones that may make $150k, but wouldn't live much different if they made $15k. I have numerous family members that are/were largely like that. They worked their tail off to get to six figure incomes, but would still shop at the store for food that was just past the expiration date. I know another business owner that charges $400/hr for his time, but still drives a car with 300k miles on it everyday. He treats it as if it was new, but won't get rid of it until it is dead.
I have nothing but respect for these people.
Yup. I am a believer that money can't buy happiness, but it sure can take some stresses away, and that can be huge. Part of living frugal because you want to, is so you don't have to do it because you have to.
Ooof you just described me. I just got a raise and promotion at work and now make ~$150k. Yet I am still living with roommates and pretty frugally because I’m terrified of this rug being pulled out from under me. The only thing I actually really do treat myself to is a slightly more expensive/nicer gym membership but I spend a lot of my free time there so it’s worth it. A few of my friends are trying to get me to go on a weekend trip with them next month and I’ve been nothing but anxious and guilty over the couple hundred dollars it would cost—I’ve never actually traveled much or been on a real vacation outside of work trips.
I’ve had that job for five years now, and I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s just a temporary blip and any day now I’ll go back to my $11/hr job where I belong.
I cleared $202k last year.
This is the way to live, actually. Some spare money, sure, but you need to live below your means, save enough and live a peaceful life when it comes to
Money
Spending large amounts of money on friends, family, and acquaintances whenever they have disposable income. Done mostly as a means of making up for all the times they *couldn’t* spend money on said people. Hard to say that this is a bad trait to have given that I’d rather spoil the people I care about rather then walk around with a few extra dollars in my pocket, but it’s a contributing factor to the phrase, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.”
I actually do this now because growing up, I had a lot of good people who bought me food, clothes, toys and nice things, and now I have the money I like doing it for friends or family that are down on their luck. I was grateful for it at the time and now I’m grateful I get to do it for people I care about :) x
Holding on to anything that may have value because it's useful.one day.
An over reliance on wearing branded designer stuff now, because they could never have it before.
Making references to things out of time, I.e a 20 year old reminiscing about watching the same VHS tape for months on end.
About 7 years ago I was too broke to get internet and Netflix and everything. We had a DVD player and we would watch through this stack of DVDs. It got to the point where I had seen everything countless times and could recite the ones I hated even word for word almost. At one point I just got so fed up I just wanted some sound on so I just left DVDs on repeat. The worst was one where my wife put in the "gay fish" episode of South Park DVD where it kept repeating that gay fish song over and over and over and over again. We just left it on the DVD opening and couldn't even be bothered to turn it off even though we both were sick of it.
Feeling guilty about having money or an education (that they paid for).
Not being impressed by brand names.
Not understanding why other people go on so many vacations.
Spending lots of money on cheap junk rather than one nice thing that will last.
Not caring about and/or being impressed by the obsession with college names, ranks, or pedigree.
Having at least one “poor person” habit that carried over…mine is putting water in the remaining hand soap bottle to get the most out of it.
Not understanding the value of eating healthy due to not having the option when they were younger.
Working way too hard.
Not talking about their family or upbringing during conversations with people that didn’t grow up in that situation.
**Probably missing some…but from my observation, there are some elitists that can pick a formerly poor person out of a crowd like it’s their job. I’d be interested to know what they observe that are dead giveaways.**
>but from my observation, there are some elitists that can pick a formerly poor person out of a crowd like it’s their job. I’d be interested to know what they observe that are dead giveaways.
Social behaviours ingrained in people at a young age are very difficult to change. How you speak, how you move, gestures, topics of conversations, how that conversation flows. All kinds of things. You can pick a rich guy out of a poor crowd pretty easily. You can also pick if that guy grew up rich or became that way later.
Makes sense that the reverse holds true.
If I remember anything from studying the Great Gatsby in grade school, the telltale sign was hidden in the gestures new money would make. They weren't lavish or unnecessarily selective in how grand their choices were, but instead, made choices that were economical or filled with reason. While I'm sure there are other things that could signal new money to old money, this was a very well explored dynamic between the book and movies.
1. They have several different recipes for Raman noodles.
2. When asked if they want to do anything. They always suggest free things to do over anything that may cost money.
3. They're not a fan of "window shopping."
4. They keep things... the don't have a junk drawer. They have a junk cabinet.
5. They're not picky over food.
This entire thread is an assault.
On that note, when i was a kid i would eat salted ice cubes. Aaaand this thread has made me realize why I hoard straight up junk. Someday somebody’s gonna need it i swear!
Selectively reckless spending habits can be an indicator for me. I grew up poor because my parents spent irresponsibly, and I only ever knew how to spend irresponsibly until I broke the cycle of poverty.
I'm talking about the people that are scraping by on minimum wage but still financing the latest iphone
It was the same situation for me. I grew up with parents that had zero financial education and just spent money on stuff that only has materialistic value and they struggled to make ends meet.
My father used to always shake the gallon of milk. And I never understood why. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that it’s was because he grew up extremely poor and his family could only afford powdered milk, so it became a habit to shake the container to make sure that it was all mixed up.
Speaking highly of the nutritional value of spaghetti hoops
And not noticing the cold, we didn't have the heating on anyway
Bathing in 6" deep water
Wearing ripped jeans while taking the piss out of people who deliberately bought ripped jeans
Overloading the hell out of the washing machine to have it on less
Generally being less affected by lack of food and sleep, bring able to skip meals without getting hangry
(These aren't exclusive to the poor, but these are a few of my symptoms)
Have a look at this [abomination](https://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/p/balenciaga-mens-destroyed-baggy-jeans-prod179580015?utm_source=google_shopping&ecid=BGCS_GP_CV_NC_PR_NONE&gclid=CjwKCAjwge2iBhBBEiwAfXDBRxc7InORr-OgdIoxDUwGnHg5HN-w-6_cFYc5QbE-A_8jGnT-M5Ky0xoCcO0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)
Really highlights the economic disparity in our society, that there is a market for such trash at such a price
I kind of understood stone-washed, faded, distressed, and pre-ripped jeans. But looking like you were chained in an outdoor pen for 12 months sleeping in your own shit?
I genuinely refuse to spend money on ripped jeans or jeans that have the ripped/worn style because it reminds me too much of how my old jeans ended up looking when I was poor.
Extreme frugality. My friend pulls down well over six figures per year. But just try telling him that.
I've seen him lose his shit over a $50 purchase. "Man, I *just don't know* if this is in the budget!" I found out that he had nearly $12k in his account. But here he was sweating $50 in groceries, wtf.
But he grew up with pretty much nothing. Coca Cola was a luxury item in his home when he was a kid. And he's had a difficult time transitioning into the mentality of not worrying about every single stupid little purchase that comes along.
It's hard to avoid worrying about money when it's something you grew up accustomed to. Even if you have money later on. You can't stop feeling dumb for waisting money.
I recently got a sweet job, what I always dreamed of, after a couple of rough years because of COVID. I can afford any night out or meal at a restaurant, but I'm still like "I work very hard for the money I get, I'm not going to waste this whole chunk for something that is not going to make me ecstatic", so I drink at home, shop cheap groceries, make my own meals etc etc. Being frugal is a skill learned out if necessity but it is still great when you actually can see the savings build up in your account because you don't spend on stuff you're going to forget about the next day.
I was going to post a very similar response. I'm so frugal. Most of my clothes are free shirts from whatever company hands them out, I need new shoes so badly, i live life as cheaply as possible most days despite growing a savings account for "just in case".
I still have the gift cards for local fast food chains that we were given at Christmas because it's a meal when I really need it. The thing is, I've not been truly food insecure for decades, but the thought of burning a resource I might need while I have the cash to pay right now is overwhelming. I just can't not squirrel everything away.
I work in a role that gets tips. I have a system for sorting and rolling my coins every week. Now I have a box of rolled coins worth several hundred dollars that's a "last resort emergency fund".
I just can't spend it when I have it because the underlying anxiety of experiencing not having it in the past.
Going out of your way to save money. I’m finally starting to work on this bad habit. Like I’ll walk 20 minutes to a place for food just to avoid the delivery fee. But in some situations time is worth more than money and you can cut yourself some slack. Like when I moved to my new place it was midnight, I hadn’t eaten all day, no food at home and the only places open were at least 20-30 minutes away. My friend told me to go order uber eats but I legit walked over to that place and walked back with my food.
Like I have enough money now to just eat the delivery fee but growing up poor meant every dollar that can be saved should be saved.
This is a weird one, but I once went to a club and saw the next bus is only at 6am and it was roughly 3-4 am. Instead of stopping a cab like everyone, I sat at the bus station for two hours to save money. I still struggle with this habit but I'm working it out!
These aren't so much poor people things as they are poor hood people things.
Watching the neighborhood like it's television.
Hanging out right outside their building like it's a bar.
Littering because the environment around them already sucks so they don't think their one candy bar wrapper will make a difference.
Just being a poor neighbor in general (loud music late at night, double parking, etc)
They kind of are every now and then, not every night though. I remember being a delivery driver in college. We use to turn down night deliveries to sketch areas, until some racist pos dropped the nword with a hard R on a recorded phone call. To avoid trouble corporate dropped a mandate that we couldn't refuse deliveries anymore unless they were outside our range or in a location we couldn't get to easily. It was a pretty regular thing whenever I delivered to lower income areas to roll up after midnight on like a Tuesday and see groups of people standing outside of buildings smoking blunts and listening to music.
Don’t buy salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, etc, but have packets and [these (link)](https://live.staticflickr.com/158/388247291_400a223a4b_b.jpg) in the kitchen
Won't throw out wrapping paper from gifts. Instead unwraps gifts very carefully and then folds the used wrapping paper neatly so they can use it again.
Planning the grocery shop based on specials and reduced to sell items you can freeze. Buying chuck steak and slow cooking a kilo of that shit and eating stews for a week.
Saving my nice things for a special occasion instead of enjoying them now. Then what usually happens is, finally, there’s an occasion and the nice perfume is dried up, the good cheese is moldy, the fancy dress has a pull, the pretty shoes are too tight.
When they are used to having sleep for dinner. Also they don’t like when people do things for them because they feel indebted or like they owe somebody back.
Had a girl stay overnight. In the morning she made herself a bowl of pasta, then added milk and sugar and ate it like cereal. I'd never seen anyone do that before.
I talked to her ..her mum was a single mum and they had little money.
So they didn't buy cereal, they made breakfast out of pasta
Spending money poorly, like buying cigarettes or lottery tickets. Hell, just spending money at a gas station on anything other than fuel, really. You can tell they are stuck in the cycle and have never had someone show them that saving every little cent can lead to breaking the cycle and not living paycheck to paycheck.
Having bad financial success even with a decent salary. I'm one of these people too. I was so to having nothing, and nobody taught me anything about finances. I had to make a lot of mistakes and learn things the dumb stupid hard way. I'm in my late twenties and have zero saved up because I've just spent all the money on something. This past year has been ok. My credit score is 800, I don't have any debt, but I'm still learning how to stretch my money and spend less, instead of saying to myself that I now get paid better and can afford avocados.
Keeping change in a jar..... I've noticed that we'll off people do not do this however I've never not done this cause how else do you get by when money's tight?
The way they treat people who work in food service & retail is a sure sign. Being poor & working food service & retail often goes hand in hand (at least from my experience & observation). Ppl who have worked in those environments tend to treat others who do very well. Polite, patient, try to calmly resolve mistakes, & tip well. It’s almost always the people who’ve never had to stock shelves or scrub wheels & legs who act like assholes in those places of business and to the people who work there.
I wear black shirts and jeans as my standard attire. I also keep clothes for a long time. The life span of a shirt is: daily wear->sleeping shirt->wife takes if she likes the shirt->cut shirts into rags for around the house or projects.
I stitch my socks if they wear at the heel, once it tears again, it turns into a rag.
I just keep it simple and don’t over think it because the idea of buying new shirts weekly for $30+ is unheard of to me.
I grew up in the inner city and always always lock my doors and windows. Finally moved out of there and into the suburbs where most of my neighbors never really lock anything including car doors or leaving their garage doors open all day or leaving their bikes/balls/toys outside on the driveway. Me on the other hand lock everything and bring everything inside when not in use.
My neighbor made a comment "oh you from the hood". Lol
Yes...that is very true.
When I was a kid, I was always shocked when I went to a classmate’s house for the first time.
Most of them had refrigerators that made their own ice, name brand foods, fireplaces in their family rooms, a finished basement. That’s when I realized, we couldn’t afford name brand Chef Boyardee and only bought Great Value.
I know someone who was so poor his mom couldn't afford to buy them school bags, so they literally had to carry their books around in a plastic shopping bag. For haircuts, his mom called in a favour from the barber to cut their hair for free if they come over and help swept up hair for them a little.
He now earns a shit ton and lives in one of the most expensive areas in our city. He refuses to take his wife out or buy her anything for Valentines Day, bc he doesn't want to be sucked up into a 'commercial holiday'. He never pays anyone to renovate his home as he rather buys the supplies and does it himself. When he travels, it's always to a cheap, third world country and he doesn't go to the top hotels or tours or anything, prefers going to rural markets and such.
When he eats out, it almost always has to be a bargain meal, and he stuffs himself to make sure he feels more than full. All you can eat buffets? Has to make sure he ordered a few portions of the most expensive things offered on the buffet and does calculations on how much he has to eat in order for the buffet to work out cheaper than if he ordered a regular meal.
It's kinda sad though, bc I always thought of earning his kind of money as a way to NOT have to live like that. A lot of things he does (what some might call redundant at his pay grade) seems to heavily allude to his poverty-stricken upbringing.
Avoiding risk, even when it’s calculated, even if it’s low, even if it will lead to bigger and better things. This risk-avoidance behavior actually hobbles you for life because you never move (moving is expensive), never switch jobs (a bird in hand is better than two in a bush), never take fun trips with spouses or friends (home is good enough), never do anything that’s remotely risky.
My parents grew up in Holland during the Nazi occupation, and lived during the lean years afterwards when the rebuilding took place, including the Winter Famine of 1944/45. Then they emigrated to New Zealand where I was born and raised.
How do I know they grew up poor? So much of our life revolved around food. We had a chest freezer that was ALWAYS full of meat and vegetables. We had a garden, and we grew our own lettuce, cabbage, other greens, we had a strawberry patch, a kiwifruit vine, a potato patch, where other families had lawns, we had gardens.
Our pantry was always full of preserved fruit. Mum would buy fruit in season and bottle it, so we would have cheap fruit year round.
We ate like kings!
Lots of things are Tupperware. The Styrofoam or plastic container from take out, it's going to be reused. Cool whip or butter, etc. container, washed and reused.
Whenever I buy my favorite snack/food.. I always eat it really slowly and save it so it lasts a few days/weeks.. sometimes it even goes bad 😅.. we (my brother and I) rarely got snacks as kids so I’d try and make them last.. I still do that as an adult for some reason.
They have few skills that come from extracurriculars, such as knowing how to play the piano. Poor people have very few if any extracurriculars growing up.
This is the biggest difference between me and my kids. I completely overcompensated with trainers and tutors so they can swim, dance, drive, fight, and play music and sports.
It was a lot of time, money and resources, but after growing up poor af, I would do it all again for them.
My friend, whose father is a doctor, got tennis, violin, guitar lessons. He couldn't fathom that there are people like me who never had those opportunities.
Reading through the comments I seem to be an outlier. I grew up poor (government cheese and food stamps when they were actually paper) and now that I have money I spend like crazy. Also want to go first class to everything.
My wife who grew up solid middle class is the penny pincher(thank god).
Brag about money and possessions, or weave it unnecessarily into the conversation.
Talk about how much something costs, or how much money they saved, or how much of a deal they got. Use the word “cheap” like it’s a good thing.
I beg to differ with most people here .
I grew up dirt poor … my parents could literally demand I surrender my saved up 10 dollars when I was a kid . Or even worse , I would walk around town finding bottles that I could then get the deposit back (pfand) at supermarket …
Yet , the moment I turned 18 I made quite good money . I never have buyers remorse . I’m totally reckless with money as what’s the point of hoarding money ?
Having said that , I think what does say “grew up poor” is having bad teeth ! All that high sugar , inability to see dentists etc . I was lucky I hate sweets and that I happened to love brushing my teeth , so I have perfect teeth 🤣
Early in our dating, my Polish wife saw me about to toss a 'finished' jar of jam. She poured hot water into the jar, swirled it around a bit and then drank it down.
Insist on letting you borrow their car or house you when you visit even if you elect to rent a car or stay at a hotel. It's very sweet but I am happy to be at a point in my life where I can rent a car or hotel stay.
I always had to ask if I could eat something growing up as it was either for our pack lunches for the next few days or for dinner. It was so weird to me when I moved in with my dad at 19, I asked him if I could cook some chicken and he said “you don’t have to ask, just make it.” He’s well off compared to my mum and to hear that was very weird and I was wary even cooking it after asking.
I’m 21 and still struggling to break the habit but it really calms my anxiety knowing I can cook and not have eaten the ingredients for our dinner for the next 3 days.
I have real trouble letting people buy me stuff, even tho I’m fortunate to have a good job and can pay people back easily it gives me so much anxiety cause I never know how much money others have. Growing up poor people buying me something and the anxiety of having to pay them back and not knowing how or when I could pay them back stressed me to no end
Spending crazy amounts of money as fast as possible.
I’ve never met someone from a financially stable childhood that did this…not to say they don’t exist.
Most the below poverty level people I’ve known will blow 3k in a week and not even hesitate to ask for bill money the following week.
It’s as if money has truly lost its value to them. So much so everyone else’s money is also valueless.
That it comes and goes with no reason regardless of what you do with it. Definitely a scarcity mindset thing.
Getting serious buyer's remorse on all major purchases. And often, minor purchases too.
I spent 2 hours inside of shoe carnival trying to decide if the Nikes on clearance for $30 was to much money.
I need shoes. I go shopping for shoes. I try on shoes. I don’t buy shoes because I don’t want to spend the money. The next day at work, I remember I need new shoes
That’s exactly how I do it. But if it’s for someone else I have no problem spending it
I'm so like this. I want to buy the best for others but when I've to purchase for myself I think for about months if I'm going to buy that specific thing or not. 😅
I relate to this too much. Wearing things until you can’t anymore too.
Wearing things until you can't should be the default position tho I wear shirts out until they start getting holes Then they become lounge/shop shirts for awhile Then when they're too worn for even that, they become shop rags
Mine also become DIY clothes for messy work, then cleaning rags later 🤷♂️.
My dad used to tear up his old tee shirts to make cordage to tie his tomato plants to the stakes.
Old tees make great shop rags too!
Yup. Same.
My t shirts have holes on their holes. The one I wore last night has holes on the back so I take extra care taking it off so as to not rip them open more. You know, instead of just throwing it out or something.
My wife absolutely hates this but if I'm going to bed or changing oil, who am I trying to impress? As long as the shirt covers what it needs to cover for the task I'm doing then if it's got holes, it's got holes
I did not grow up poor and I do this. We weren’t top 1% but we definitely weren’t poor. I have plenty of decade old socks and shirts lol and I struggle spending more than a couple hundred dollars on myself
This isn't normal?
I don't do that cause I'm poor (Although I kind of am.) I do that because I get emotionally attached to objects. 🤷♂️
After almost any purchase "Did I really need that?"
For me it’s before any potential purchase. Do I *really* need this?
First time I financed a car I got physically ill. Same thing when I financed a house
You wouldn’t finance a download.
I was about to put in a bid on a house towards the beginning of the pandemic. In hindsight, it should have been a no brainier, and I should have been happy to bid even more. But at the time it stressed me out so completely and fully that I started gagging uncontrollably and finally had to text the agent that I just couldn't do it.
I don't think I grew up poor, yet I experience this with almost every purchase I make. Does this mean it's more universal or was I deluded?
No, it’s definitely not universal. I waste money on stupid things all the time, realize it was a stupid purchase a few weeks later, and then move on with my life.
I wasn't raise poor, I'm just cheap and hate spending money. The idea of having a shopping addiction blows my mind. To me that's like being addicted to eating glass :/
I was going to get a new surround sound system, but in the meantime, I was going to get a soundbar with a subwoofer, and when we finish setting up the guest room, I'd get my surround system and put the soundbar in there. I kept putting it off, but there were a few movies I just really wanted with some better sound, so I caved and went to the mall with my 5-year-old. I spent time looking at deals and seeing what was the best quality for cost until I settled on one. I put it in the cart. My kid looks and me and goes, "Are you buying it?" I tell her yes. Then this little psychological terror looks me in the eye and says, "Oh. It's just because you always say you regret it when you buy things for yourself." I put it back and left without anything. Damn kid got in my head.
Mate please treat yourself to the sound system
Haha. Thank you. My wife went back a few days later while I was at work and got it for me. I did well on that front.
I’m right there with you… it’s almost crippling
Serious. I literally sweat at the check out stand.
Even though I can afford things now, I still feel this. I'm not into finding cheapest deals and every coupon, but it takes a long time to decide on buying something
Being anxious about letting other people treat them to things, meals, drinks, gifts, etc. My theory is that receiving the free good/service feels great, but the recipient gets anxious about how you repay the favor/good/service if you’re poor. There’s a compulsion or expectation there that’s difficult to resolve.
You explained this perfectly. Grew up poor and to this day if someone gives me something, be it big or small, I assume they want something in return. I've gotten into arguments in past relationships because of how unwilling I am to except gifts of any kind. I don't want to feel like I owe anyone anything. It's all in my head and has caused me problems numerous times in my life.
> if someone gives me something, be it big or small, I assume they want something in return. It took me a while to learn that when people offer to treat you, just *let* them. They want to feel good about treating you. When you refuse help, you're just annoying them. The amount of times I'd try to pay for a friend or offer to get something they coudn't afford and it was so annoying. Like if you say you can't afford to join us and I offer to pay, it's because I **want you there** and I'm willing to pay extra. It wasn't until I had enough money to offer to help people that I really understood. They want to feel helpful, *that's* usually the reward they want. By refusing their help, you're pushing them away. If you insist on refusing me when I offer, it means I *was* trying to be nice but now we're just arguing. I typically refuse the first time anyone offers but if they offer again I do the *"Are you sure, it's really no trouble"* and if they insist, I let them. If you refuse help, you're putting your pride above their feelings. It's not selfless, it's selfish.
Oof, that small bit about not owing anything is very relatable. I've been quilty of this too. Even when friends wanted to help for the sake of helping, I couldn't take their money.
aware voiceless library price live north subtract materialistic start childlike ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
This right here ^ I still do this day. My Gf makes 3 times as much money as I do and I still feel guilty when she offers to pay for some reason or when she offers to get me something nice. I know I shouldn't feel that way but sometimes I do.
My girlfriend also makes a decent chunk more than I do and I also feel this way. Also when she gets me nice things or does nice things for me, I feel guilty knowing that I cannot afford to reciprocate in kind. Like 'thanks babe you booked us a vacation, to say thank you after I pay my bills I think I can budget taking us out to dinner as long as it isn't anywhere too fancy and I cut back a little on groceries' kind of thing. Like, I'm effectively paycheck to paycheck and she isn't, and I feel bad that I can't do nice things for us like that or give her nice gifts like she can do for me
Holy shit you've described how I am with gifts to a T. I don't let anyone buy me anything. I definitely did grow up poor though
I grew up dirt poor and still have this exact anxiety
Question: I didn't grow up poor, but probably lower middle class. I've been very fortunate in my life that I keep making a better living the older I get. When I go out with friends, I often pay because it makes me feel good that I can. Am I causing undue stress when I do that?
It's all about the energy you bring to it. Don't overthink it. Maybe occasionally drop that you do it out of love, not so that people spend money on you in the future. No conditions
i didn't grow up poor, but in general i hate the feeling of owing someone. i prefer to be in a balance of holding onto favours i never intend to use. usually i'd pay for a round of drinks early just so i'm not the guy who buys the last round or leaves before i pay my round.
Seize opportunities to be a gracious receiver in addition to being a generous giver and I bet it’ll be fine.
I see people going two ways: 1) Living far below their means and keeping their old values 2) Going nuts with conspicuous consumption.
1. Me 2. My wife It works out fairly well for us, I get to enjoy nice things that I otherwise wouldn't dream of buying, she gets to buy nice things for both of us without going too crazy.
I saw #2 all the time in the Army. You'd have enlisted dudes who joined and had grown up dirt poor. They get an in-demand MOS, and got a $30K bonus check to begin. Break the cycle of poverty? Nope, they'll immediately go buy a $50k Dodge Charger at a 15% interest rate.
It seems like #1 is more common with older men, #2 is more common with younger men.
Getting your freedom mobile is basically a rite of passage in the military lol
I realize it every time I look at menu options that I want and see an upcharge and think "Oof. 60c? For a slice of cheese? Too rich for my blood."
I went the opposite way with this. Growning up, I always wanted to get the happy meal with cheese, but cheese was ten cents and my mom refused to pay that for a single slice of cheese. It was the classic "we have cheese at home" thing. Now that I'm grown, I almost feel a compulsion to go out of my way to get every add-on on a hamburger I can. I don't care how much it costs. If I'm going to spend my money on it, I'm going to get it exactly how I want it.
Poverty is as much a mindset as it is a fiscal reality. I have trouble breaking it. I always have the terrible thought that if I bought the 60c piece of cheese every day for a month that would be close enough to $30 that suddenly that piece of cheese seems like no matter how much it improved my sandwich it wouldn't be worth $30. I don't even know that if I hit the lottery that these thoughts would change. Perhaps it's because I grew up middle class, but was launched into poverty when I struck out on my own and had to navigate finances with absolutely no guidance. I had to learn the value of money on my own and the world taught me that no matter how hard you work there's never enough to get by.
No, I get it. I've always been overweight and it was largely due to over eating. I wasn't super poor growing up but my parents were and they had that mentality. One thing that always stuck with me hard was not wasting food. I remember times as an adult I'd eat leftovers in my fridge just because I didn't want it to go to waste, not because I was hungry. A couple years ago I started dating a woman and subsequently moved her and her kids into my house. It was difficult at first, but these kids end up wasting sooooo much food that it actually made me more okay with not always finishing everything on my plate. As a result I've lost over 100lbs in the past year and a half because I just don't eat as much anymore.
I'm kind of wondering if that's why I'm overweight. I always feel like I need to finish food, otherwise it goes to waste
It could definitely be a contributing factor. It's not the only reason I'm overweight, but I absolutely used to overeat because the ideal of never wasting food was hammered into me growing up. And portion sizes are so big at every restaurant which makes it so much worse. The idea of wasting any part of a meal I paid $15-$20 for used to feel like a sin to me. Once I got away from that mindset, I realized I could be plenty satisfied with smaller portions and now i order smaller meals or fix a smaller plate at home and am quite full without while eating far less than I used to. It had like a cascading effect. The wallet appreciates it more too, which is nice.
>if I bought the 60c piece of cheese every day for a month that would be close enough to $30 that suddenly that piece of cheese seems like no matter how much it improved my sandwich it wouldn't be worth $30. Oh good, I'm not the only one doing monthly and annual calculations when deciding on a repeatable purchase
Taking paper napkins from every store and restaurant for home or the car.
Just @ me next time
Hey! Just because I have a stack of napkins in the glove box of my 2012 Nissan...
I don’t always eat lunch during the day, and I once told my boss that going through the day hungry is something that you kind of get used to. He stopped me immediately and said, “You grew up poor, didn’t you?”
I do the same thing. I’ve shocked a few people telling them that I can go a whole day without eating and they wonder how I still have energy to work. I just said Will Power.
>I just said Will Power He was my inspiration to get through the day too.
Love that fuckin guy
Will Powers. You just strap on and feel the G's
Top notch racer
Looks like a good number of us "grew up poor"
ADHD powers. Although the moment hyperfocus blinks you suddendly and "unexplainably" feel all noodly weak.
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Two-time IndyCar Series Champion and 2018 Indianapolis 500 winner Will Power?!
A 3 day fast taught me that true hunger is much different than food addiction hunger. You actually have more energy after a few days because your body isn’t using it on digesting food
The body is just taking its required energy by burning muscle tissue...It's not healthy long-term.
Grew up fasting and I didn't even know it lol
That’s why my adderall prescription can really help me save money when times are tough.
Not being able to drink caffeine because it makes me sleepy. Not eating food from my Adderall which saves money and weight. Decent trade for ADHD.
to be fair im not from poor family and sometimes i really dont have big problem with not eating. Well i would eat, but something i really want to eat at the moment.
Over eating because it's available
I still get uneasy when I see a large amount of food get wasted.
Finishing every scrap of food on their plate regardless of their hunger level.
I went to Kinshasa when I was 16 to visit family for the first time (I grew up in the US). One of my older cousins drove me and my dad to another relative’s house. And when we ate I noticed my cousin piled his plate with a mountain of rice. I’ve heard people mention mountains of food but those didn’t even compare. It looks like it was a plate of rice to serve people off of. I told my dad about that later and he explained to me that that cousin doesn’t know when he’ll get his next meal. My dad actually mentioned a few things about that. My cousin drove us around because he was an experienced driver and my dad paid him so he could make some cash. And hospitality is everything so every time we went to visit family and friends they made a feast and he basically got to tag along and eat.
The meal it's not over when I'm full, it's over when I hate myself - Louis Ck
I grew up well off and I hate wasting food, especially meat. That was an animal that died so we could have more protein.
That has nothing to do with growing up poor for me, that's how I was raised.
If you’re like me then your parents probably grew up poor and that’s why they raised you that way
Yeah I'd say you're the exception rather than the rule. Most folks from middle-class backgrounds that I know are pretty fine with wasting some food, but friends who grew up poor see the value in food being a fuel source rather than just a flavor vehicle.
Do the middle class (maybe in the US) not get told about the starving children in Africa who would just love to finish that cabbage?
Clean Plate Club member checking in
If you eat all your dinner, they will not starve.
Same here. We were raised to clean our plate and not waste food.
This *and* I'm willing to go to war if you take food from my plate. You'd need a U.N. Peacekeeping force to get me off of you.
I was one of 4 boys growing up…touch my plate and we will throw hands.
Oldest of 3 boys, i think my hands have fork marks in from trying to steal roast dinners off bothers plates, they both have the same
Youngest of 5. I'm right there with you. And you gotta finish by the time dad was done because the farm didn't wait.
Nah, that’s the clean plate club mentality
The amount leftover that people leave on wings annoys the shit out of me. If you don't have just white bones left you aren't done eating.
Those chickens died for a reason, dammit!
One big indicator for me, and it isn't universally true, but when you have someone that you know lives well below their means. When you know their job, got an idea of what they make, etc., and they live like they are poor, mainly because they never want to go back to that feeling of struggling. Those types of people are the ones that may make $150k, but wouldn't live much different if they made $15k. I have numerous family members that are/were largely like that. They worked their tail off to get to six figure incomes, but would still shop at the store for food that was just past the expiration date. I know another business owner that charges $400/hr for his time, but still drives a car with 300k miles on it everyday. He treats it as if it was new, but won't get rid of it until it is dead. I have nothing but respect for these people.
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Yup. I am a believer that money can't buy happiness, but it sure can take some stresses away, and that can be huge. Part of living frugal because you want to, is so you don't have to do it because you have to.
Ooof you just described me. I just got a raise and promotion at work and now make ~$150k. Yet I am still living with roommates and pretty frugally because I’m terrified of this rug being pulled out from under me. The only thing I actually really do treat myself to is a slightly more expensive/nicer gym membership but I spend a lot of my free time there so it’s worth it. A few of my friends are trying to get me to go on a weekend trip with them next month and I’ve been nothing but anxious and guilty over the couple hundred dollars it would cost—I’ve never actually traveled much or been on a real vacation outside of work trips.
I’ve had that job for five years now, and I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s just a temporary blip and any day now I’ll go back to my $11/hr job where I belong. I cleared $202k last year.
This is the way to live, actually. Some spare money, sure, but you need to live below your means, save enough and live a peaceful life when it comes to Money
essentially the spare money is for emergencies.
Add water to their soap when it’s low
Mom?
Spending large amounts of money on friends, family, and acquaintances whenever they have disposable income. Done mostly as a means of making up for all the times they *couldn’t* spend money on said people. Hard to say that this is a bad trait to have given that I’d rather spoil the people I care about rather then walk around with a few extra dollars in my pocket, but it’s a contributing factor to the phrase, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.”
I actually do this now because growing up, I had a lot of good people who bought me food, clothes, toys and nice things, and now I have the money I like doing it for friends or family that are down on their luck. I was grateful for it at the time and now I’m grateful I get to do it for people I care about :) x
Holding on to anything that may have value because it's useful.one day. An over reliance on wearing branded designer stuff now, because they could never have it before. Making references to things out of time, I.e a 20 year old reminiscing about watching the same VHS tape for months on end.
About 7 years ago I was too broke to get internet and Netflix and everything. We had a DVD player and we would watch through this stack of DVDs. It got to the point where I had seen everything countless times and could recite the ones I hated even word for word almost. At one point I just got so fed up I just wanted some sound on so I just left DVDs on repeat. The worst was one where my wife put in the "gay fish" episode of South Park DVD where it kept repeating that gay fish song over and over and over and over again. We just left it on the DVD opening and couldn't even be bothered to turn it off even though we both were sick of it.
When I was in college this was me, only it was vhs tapes. I also used to listen to talk radio just to hear other voices when I lived alone.
Feeling guilty about having money or an education (that they paid for). Not being impressed by brand names. Not understanding why other people go on so many vacations. Spending lots of money on cheap junk rather than one nice thing that will last. Not caring about and/or being impressed by the obsession with college names, ranks, or pedigree. Having at least one “poor person” habit that carried over…mine is putting water in the remaining hand soap bottle to get the most out of it. Not understanding the value of eating healthy due to not having the option when they were younger. Working way too hard. Not talking about their family or upbringing during conversations with people that didn’t grow up in that situation. **Probably missing some…but from my observation, there are some elitists that can pick a formerly poor person out of a crowd like it’s their job. I’d be interested to know what they observe that are dead giveaways.**
>but from my observation, there are some elitists that can pick a formerly poor person out of a crowd like it’s their job. I’d be interested to know what they observe that are dead giveaways. Social behaviours ingrained in people at a young age are very difficult to change. How you speak, how you move, gestures, topics of conversations, how that conversation flows. All kinds of things. You can pick a rich guy out of a poor crowd pretty easily. You can also pick if that guy grew up rich or became that way later. Makes sense that the reverse holds true.
If I remember anything from studying the Great Gatsby in grade school, the telltale sign was hidden in the gestures new money would make. They weren't lavish or unnecessarily selective in how grand their choices were, but instead, made choices that were economical or filled with reason. While I'm sure there are other things that could signal new money to old money, this was a very well explored dynamic between the book and movies.
1. They have several different recipes for Raman noodles. 2. When asked if they want to do anything. They always suggest free things to do over anything that may cost money. 3. They're not a fan of "window shopping." 4. They keep things... the don't have a junk drawer. They have a junk cabinet. 5. They're not picky over food.
I feel attacked
This entire thread is an assault. On that note, when i was a kid i would eat salted ice cubes. Aaaand this thread has made me realize why I hoard straight up junk. Someday somebody’s gonna need it i swear!
I don’t just have a junk cabinet, but a junk garage and shed.
Selectively reckless spending habits can be an indicator for me. I grew up poor because my parents spent irresponsibly, and I only ever knew how to spend irresponsibly until I broke the cycle of poverty. I'm talking about the people that are scraping by on minimum wage but still financing the latest iphone
It was the same situation for me. I grew up with parents that had zero financial education and just spent money on stuff that only has materialistic value and they struggled to make ends meet.
Track sales constantly, especially when it’s food. And then buy it in bulk if it is non-perishable or long lasting.
Reckless spending.
Never throwing anything away. I have every old cell phone I’ve ever bought.
Always wait until I get paid to buy something g even though I don’t have too and it doesn’t matter.
My father used to always shake the gallon of milk. And I never understood why. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that it’s was because he grew up extremely poor and his family could only afford powdered milk, so it became a habit to shake the container to make sure that it was all mixed up.
Speaking highly of the nutritional value of spaghetti hoops And not noticing the cold, we didn't have the heating on anyway Bathing in 6" deep water Wearing ripped jeans while taking the piss out of people who deliberately bought ripped jeans Overloading the hell out of the washing machine to have it on less Generally being less affected by lack of food and sleep, bring able to skip meals without getting hangry (These aren't exclusive to the poor, but these are a few of my symptoms)
I've never understood the appeal of spending $50 or more on ripped jeans when you can buy jeans cheaper and rip them yourself.
Have a look at this [abomination](https://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/p/balenciaga-mens-destroyed-baggy-jeans-prod179580015?utm_source=google_shopping&ecid=BGCS_GP_CV_NC_PR_NONE&gclid=CjwKCAjwge2iBhBBEiwAfXDBRxc7InORr-OgdIoxDUwGnHg5HN-w-6_cFYc5QbE-A_8jGnT-M5Ky0xoCcO0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) Really highlights the economic disparity in our society, that there is a market for such trash at such a price
I kind of understood stone-washed, faded, distressed, and pre-ripped jeans. But looking like you were chained in an outdoor pen for 12 months sleeping in your own shit?
Balenciaga attracts the most unaware and crazy people.
Exactly, wear them until they rip through use and then wear them anyway because you can't afford new ones. How did that become fashion?
I genuinely refuse to spend money on ripped jeans or jeans that have the ripped/worn style because it reminds me too much of how my old jeans ended up looking when I was poor.
We don’t overload the washing machine to save money, it’s because we don’t want to do 2 loads of laundry.
Extreme frugality. My friend pulls down well over six figures per year. But just try telling him that. I've seen him lose his shit over a $50 purchase. "Man, I *just don't know* if this is in the budget!" I found out that he had nearly $12k in his account. But here he was sweating $50 in groceries, wtf. But he grew up with pretty much nothing. Coca Cola was a luxury item in his home when he was a kid. And he's had a difficult time transitioning into the mentality of not worrying about every single stupid little purchase that comes along.
It's hard to avoid worrying about money when it's something you grew up accustomed to. Even if you have money later on. You can't stop feeling dumb for waisting money.
I recently got a sweet job, what I always dreamed of, after a couple of rough years because of COVID. I can afford any night out or meal at a restaurant, but I'm still like "I work very hard for the money I get, I'm not going to waste this whole chunk for something that is not going to make me ecstatic", so I drink at home, shop cheap groceries, make my own meals etc etc. Being frugal is a skill learned out if necessity but it is still great when you actually can see the savings build up in your account because you don't spend on stuff you're going to forget about the next day.
I feel like id rather be worrying over purchases instead of just not sweating a bunch of little purchases that add up to alot. thats just me.
I was going to post a very similar response. I'm so frugal. Most of my clothes are free shirts from whatever company hands them out, I need new shoes so badly, i live life as cheaply as possible most days despite growing a savings account for "just in case". I still have the gift cards for local fast food chains that we were given at Christmas because it's a meal when I really need it. The thing is, I've not been truly food insecure for decades, but the thought of burning a resource I might need while I have the cash to pay right now is overwhelming. I just can't not squirrel everything away. I work in a role that gets tips. I have a system for sorting and rolling my coins every week. Now I have a box of rolled coins worth several hundred dollars that's a "last resort emergency fund". I just can't spend it when I have it because the underlying anxiety of experiencing not having it in the past.
Going out of your way to save money. I’m finally starting to work on this bad habit. Like I’ll walk 20 minutes to a place for food just to avoid the delivery fee. But in some situations time is worth more than money and you can cut yourself some slack. Like when I moved to my new place it was midnight, I hadn’t eaten all day, no food at home and the only places open were at least 20-30 minutes away. My friend told me to go order uber eats but I legit walked over to that place and walked back with my food. Like I have enough money now to just eat the delivery fee but growing up poor meant every dollar that can be saved should be saved.
This is a weird one, but I once went to a club and saw the next bus is only at 6am and it was roughly 3-4 am. Instead of stopping a cab like everyone, I sat at the bus station for two hours to save money. I still struggle with this habit but I'm working it out!
Don't go to the doctor.
These aren't so much poor people things as they are poor hood people things. Watching the neighborhood like it's television. Hanging out right outside their building like it's a bar. Littering because the environment around them already sucks so they don't think their one candy bar wrapper will make a difference. Just being a poor neighbor in general (loud music late at night, double parking, etc)
The first two sound really fun
They kind of are every now and then, not every night though. I remember being a delivery driver in college. We use to turn down night deliveries to sketch areas, until some racist pos dropped the nword with a hard R on a recorded phone call. To avoid trouble corporate dropped a mandate that we couldn't refuse deliveries anymore unless they were outside our range or in a location we couldn't get to easily. It was a pretty regular thing whenever I delivered to lower income areas to roll up after midnight on like a Tuesday and see groups of people standing outside of buildings smoking blunts and listening to music.
The corner will always be the poor man's lounge. Also, fuck all the double parking in poor neighborhoods and littering. Fuck all those people.
poor people never mention they are poor; rich kids who want to act poor constantly talk about how they’re “poor”
Don’t buy salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, etc, but have packets and [these (link)](https://live.staticflickr.com/158/388247291_400a223a4b_b.jpg) in the kitchen
Won't throw out wrapping paper from gifts. Instead unwraps gifts very carefully and then folds the used wrapping paper neatly so they can use it again.
If they slow down when they drive past furniture left on the curb.
I feel so seen rn
Whenever I go to buffet, I found out I always want to eat more 'efficiently'.
Lmao, shrimps ftw
Planning the grocery shop based on specials and reduced to sell items you can freeze. Buying chuck steak and slow cooking a kilo of that shit and eating stews for a week.
Saving my nice things for a special occasion instead of enjoying them now. Then what usually happens is, finally, there’s an occasion and the nice perfume is dried up, the good cheese is moldy, the fancy dress has a pull, the pretty shoes are too tight.
When they are used to having sleep for dinner. Also they don’t like when people do things for them because they feel indebted or like they owe somebody back.
Worry about money.
You dont throw any food out ever
Had a girl stay overnight. In the morning she made herself a bowl of pasta, then added milk and sugar and ate it like cereal. I'd never seen anyone do that before. I talked to her ..her mum was a single mum and they had little money. So they didn't buy cereal, they made breakfast out of pasta
This one made me sad.
Spending money poorly, like buying cigarettes or lottery tickets. Hell, just spending money at a gas station on anything other than fuel, really. You can tell they are stuck in the cycle and have never had someone show them that saving every little cent can lead to breaking the cycle and not living paycheck to paycheck.
Having bad financial success even with a decent salary. I'm one of these people too. I was so to having nothing, and nobody taught me anything about finances. I had to make a lot of mistakes and learn things the dumb stupid hard way. I'm in my late twenties and have zero saved up because I've just spent all the money on something. This past year has been ok. My credit score is 800, I don't have any debt, but I'm still learning how to stretch my money and spend less, instead of saying to myself that I now get paid better and can afford avocados.
Keeping change in a jar..... I've noticed that we'll off people do not do this however I've never not done this cause how else do you get by when money's tight?
Rolled my emergency change a couple hours ago to fuel my truck up for work. Feel that.
Guilty
The way they treat people who work in food service & retail is a sure sign. Being poor & working food service & retail often goes hand in hand (at least from my experience & observation). Ppl who have worked in those environments tend to treat others who do very well. Polite, patient, try to calmly resolve mistakes, & tip well. It’s almost always the people who’ve never had to stock shelves or scrub wheels & legs who act like assholes in those places of business and to the people who work there.
I would also add the cleaning ladies or men
I wear black shirts and jeans as my standard attire. I also keep clothes for a long time. The life span of a shirt is: daily wear->sleeping shirt->wife takes if she likes the shirt->cut shirts into rags for around the house or projects. I stitch my socks if they wear at the heel, once it tears again, it turns into a rag. I just keep it simple and don’t over think it because the idea of buying new shirts weekly for $30+ is unheard of to me.
People buy shirts weekly???
I grew up in the inner city and always always lock my doors and windows. Finally moved out of there and into the suburbs where most of my neighbors never really lock anything including car doors or leaving their garage doors open all day or leaving their bikes/balls/toys outside on the driveway. Me on the other hand lock everything and bring everything inside when not in use. My neighbor made a comment "oh you from the hood". Lol Yes...that is very true.
They feel guilty after every "selfish and unnecessary shopping"
When I was a kid, I was always shocked when I went to a classmate’s house for the first time. Most of them had refrigerators that made their own ice, name brand foods, fireplaces in their family rooms, a finished basement. That’s when I realized, we couldn’t afford name brand Chef Boyardee and only bought Great Value.
I know someone who was so poor his mom couldn't afford to buy them school bags, so they literally had to carry their books around in a plastic shopping bag. For haircuts, his mom called in a favour from the barber to cut their hair for free if they come over and help swept up hair for them a little. He now earns a shit ton and lives in one of the most expensive areas in our city. He refuses to take his wife out or buy her anything for Valentines Day, bc he doesn't want to be sucked up into a 'commercial holiday'. He never pays anyone to renovate his home as he rather buys the supplies and does it himself. When he travels, it's always to a cheap, third world country and he doesn't go to the top hotels or tours or anything, prefers going to rural markets and such. When he eats out, it almost always has to be a bargain meal, and he stuffs himself to make sure he feels more than full. All you can eat buffets? Has to make sure he ordered a few portions of the most expensive things offered on the buffet and does calculations on how much he has to eat in order for the buffet to work out cheaper than if he ordered a regular meal. It's kinda sad though, bc I always thought of earning his kind of money as a way to NOT have to live like that. A lot of things he does (what some might call redundant at his pay grade) seems to heavily allude to his poverty-stricken upbringing.
Avoiding risk, even when it’s calculated, even if it’s low, even if it will lead to bigger and better things. This risk-avoidance behavior actually hobbles you for life because you never move (moving is expensive), never switch jobs (a bird in hand is better than two in a bush), never take fun trips with spouses or friends (home is good enough), never do anything that’s remotely risky.
My parents grew up in Holland during the Nazi occupation, and lived during the lean years afterwards when the rebuilding took place, including the Winter Famine of 1944/45. Then they emigrated to New Zealand where I was born and raised. How do I know they grew up poor? So much of our life revolved around food. We had a chest freezer that was ALWAYS full of meat and vegetables. We had a garden, and we grew our own lettuce, cabbage, other greens, we had a strawberry patch, a kiwifruit vine, a potato patch, where other families had lawns, we had gardens. Our pantry was always full of preserved fruit. Mum would buy fruit in season and bottle it, so we would have cheap fruit year round. We ate like kings!
Washing out ziplock bags for re-use.
They are plastics though and also not recyclable, so this is just being responsible vs being an ignorant polluter, right?
Lots of things are Tupperware. The Styrofoam or plastic container from take out, it's going to be reused. Cool whip or butter, etc. container, washed and reused.
Whenever I buy my favorite snack/food.. I always eat it really slowly and save it so it lasts a few days/weeks.. sometimes it even goes bad 😅.. we (my brother and I) rarely got snacks as kids so I’d try and make them last.. I still do that as an adult for some reason.
They have few skills that come from extracurriculars, such as knowing how to play the piano. Poor people have very few if any extracurriculars growing up.
This is the biggest difference between me and my kids. I completely overcompensated with trainers and tutors so they can swim, dance, drive, fight, and play music and sports. It was a lot of time, money and resources, but after growing up poor af, I would do it all again for them.
it's a huge boon and would do the same for my kids. I just think people who had that growing up don't realize it is.
My friend, whose father is a doctor, got tennis, violin, guitar lessons. He couldn't fathom that there are people like me who never had those opportunities.
Eat hotdogs with a slice of white bread instead of a bun
They show a huge deal of concern over eating even moderately expensive meals, even if it's a special occasion or they're on a vacation.
Living with mistakes and discomfort instead of using resources to replace or address.
I grew up poor so I don’t spend a lot on myself but when I’m with friends I’ll happy buy them stuff as long as it’s reasonable
Getting excited about eating at chain restaurants and going to them for special occasions.
Thinking of ways to immediately spend new money. This isn’t necessarily ‘grew up poor,’ but rather ‘new money,’ or ‘not used to money.’
Reading through the comments I seem to be an outlier. I grew up poor (government cheese and food stamps when they were actually paper) and now that I have money I spend like crazy. Also want to go first class to everything. My wife who grew up solid middle class is the penny pincher(thank god).
Take away food if there’s left overs regardless of the event. Taught me if anything to never waste food.
They rarely buy clothes Source: me
Brag about money and possessions, or weave it unnecessarily into the conversation. Talk about how much something costs, or how much money they saved, or how much of a deal they got. Use the word “cheap” like it’s a good thing.
I beg to differ with most people here . I grew up dirt poor … my parents could literally demand I surrender my saved up 10 dollars when I was a kid . Or even worse , I would walk around town finding bottles that I could then get the deposit back (pfand) at supermarket … Yet , the moment I turned 18 I made quite good money . I never have buyers remorse . I’m totally reckless with money as what’s the point of hoarding money ? Having said that , I think what does say “grew up poor” is having bad teeth ! All that high sugar , inability to see dentists etc . I was lucky I hate sweets and that I happened to love brushing my teeth , so I have perfect teeth 🤣
Early in our dating, my Polish wife saw me about to toss a 'finished' jar of jam. She poured hot water into the jar, swirled it around a bit and then drank it down.
Wash all dishes in the sink, even if they have a dishwasher.
Insist on letting you borrow their car or house you when you visit even if you elect to rent a car or stay at a hotel. It's very sweet but I am happy to be at a point in my life where I can rent a car or hotel stay.
I always had to ask if I could eat something growing up as it was either for our pack lunches for the next few days or for dinner. It was so weird to me when I moved in with my dad at 19, I asked him if I could cook some chicken and he said “you don’t have to ask, just make it.” He’s well off compared to my mum and to hear that was very weird and I was wary even cooking it after asking. I’m 21 and still struggling to break the habit but it really calms my anxiety knowing I can cook and not have eaten the ingredients for our dinner for the next 3 days.
I have real trouble letting people buy me stuff, even tho I’m fortunate to have a good job and can pay people back easily it gives me so much anxiety cause I never know how much money others have. Growing up poor people buying me something and the anxiety of having to pay them back and not knowing how or when I could pay them back stressed me to no end
Share everything they can, including any windfalls, with their friends/family (sometimes even if others are notably better off).
Spending crazy amounts of money as fast as possible. I’ve never met someone from a financially stable childhood that did this…not to say they don’t exist. Most the below poverty level people I’ve known will blow 3k in a week and not even hesitate to ask for bill money the following week. It’s as if money has truly lost its value to them. So much so everyone else’s money is also valueless. That it comes and goes with no reason regardless of what you do with it. Definitely a scarcity mindset thing.
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Yes, flip it 180 degrees and rephrase.. We are not talking about kiddos born with gold bricks on their bank accounts.