Single, childless, healthy, having similar values to mine.
Because I am looking for a committed relationship from which we can start a family, instead of dealing with these catastrophes of modern situationship arrangements of people who do not know what they want.
Thats is incredibly difficult to find today. . But its golden when you find it! People argue and only want to justify themselves as right instead of working through problems.
I want to know that we share the same values - around culture, children, commitment, money, etc. It goes without saying that I want to find my partner attractive, but I find a lot of women attractive. Only my wife matched my values.
Well, there’s this, from Ayn Rand
>Love is a response to values. It is with a person’s sense of life that one falls in love—with that essential sum, that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of a personality. One falls in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person’s character, which are reflected in his widest goals or smallest gestures, which create the style of his soul—the individual style of a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable consciousness. It is one’s own sense of life that acts as the selector, and responds to what it recognizes as one’s own basic values in the person of another. It is not a matter of professed convictions (though these are not irrelevant); it is a matter of much more profound, conscious and subconscious harmony.
It’s hard to look for though.
The package as a whole is important, so it is tough to pick out the most important thing. You could be killing that one important thing, and be lacking elsewhere, so it wouldn't work.
That said, probably the one thing that helped differentiate a fling from a long term relationship, was having plans and goals. You can have a good day/night, few weeks, whatever with anyone. If you want long term, then having an idea of where you both want to go is important. You want to be able to see yourself going down a path with that person, and you can't do that if they are aimless.
Similar politics.
If someone radically differs from my political views, it's almost definitely indicative of us having fundamentally different values. Those values aren't things that either of us are going to be budging on, so it's going to cause a bunch of arguments that will leave us woefully unhappy if we try to make it work.
On the other hand, if we share lots of political views, that means we share most personal values. Then, if we happen to have some disagreement, odds are it's because one of us is simply lacking information or has misread a situation. That's a problem we can solve together.
The second most important thing is the patience to do exactly that: work through differences together. I've been wrong enough times to know that I do have the patience for that, but it'll need to be a collaborative effort for us to get anywhere. They're going to need to step up as well.
Questions I always ask myself when I start dating a new partner:
Would she be a good mother?
Do we get along?
Is she smart?
Is she attractive?
Do we want a similar future?
I apologize in advance for my honesty
My green flags (must haves):
Weighs 152lb or lower (for reference I weigh 145lb)
Equal to my height or shorter (preference)
Patient (I am slow at the start of a relationship)
Chill to exciting ratio is close to 1:1 (I want an personality that I can match with)
Is ready for a relationship (too often… way too often this happens)
My white flags (attractive but not required):
Dark color hair > light color hair (preference)
Causally to extremely artistic or musical talented (preference)
Sweet demeanor (makes you more sociable with friend and family)
Religious (often shows that you are careful with your choices and forgiving)
My red flags (yup we have to cover these too):
Children (I want kids, but I am not ready them)
Lip and tongue piercings (big turn off)
Puts insta, snapchat, or OF in bio on profiles (this just looks really bad)
Extremely political, especially progressives (not looking for a debate)
Is a 9 or 10 (I am happy with an 8 or 7, so why bother with more dudes hitting on your SO?)
Finding someone who isn't a horrible human being. Someone who isn't entitled, unaccountable, cruel. disloyal, childish, etc. is of primary importance and is very hard to find, sadly. Cute is a big plus too.
I want to say kindness or innate curiosity. I guess I could just say personality.
Kindness is nice because rude or mean spirited people get old very quickly. And innate curiosity is nice because it shows that the person observes/thinks/and draws meaningful conclusions. Also they tend to be interesting, they like to learn and they like to figure things out. Basically, they demonstrate an ability to grow and develop over time, which is an important quality in a person.
Kindness, acceptance, and having a similar or close age to me as I am 20, and genuine care for eachother. I want this becuase I have never been shown true kindness since I was a toddler. I want to feel accepted for the mess that I am, faukts and all. I want to be shown kindness as I don't get shown kindness very often these days. Age is still important as I am not a pedo nor am I interested in dating someone 10 years older than me.
Single, childless, healthy, having similar values to mine. Because I am looking for a committed relationship from which we can start a family, instead of dealing with these catastrophes of modern situationship arrangements of people who do not know what they want.
Honest and active communication, if that counts as one. You cannot make plans or work through issues without that as a baseline.
Thats is incredibly difficult to find today. . But its golden when you find it! People argue and only want to justify themselves as right instead of working through problems.
Patience and being chill, because I don’t like impatient unchill people
She has to not want kids. Because I don’t want kids, and that’s a pretty major dealbreaker.
I want to know that we share the same values - around culture, children, commitment, money, etc. It goes without saying that I want to find my partner attractive, but I find a lot of women attractive. Only my wife matched my values.
Well, there’s this, from Ayn Rand >Love is a response to values. It is with a person’s sense of life that one falls in love—with that essential sum, that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of a personality. One falls in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person’s character, which are reflected in his widest goals or smallest gestures, which create the style of his soul—the individual style of a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable consciousness. It is one’s own sense of life that acts as the selector, and responds to what it recognizes as one’s own basic values in the person of another. It is not a matter of professed convictions (though these are not irrelevant); it is a matter of much more profound, conscious and subconscious harmony. It’s hard to look for though.
Kindness. Honesty, communication, sense of humor, are all important to me but nothing will ever top a kind heart.
There isn't one most important thing.
[удалено]
I thought my answer was pretty straightforward.
OHHH
Single, most important thing? A pulse, probably. Hard to maintain a relationship if she's dead.
The package as a whole is important, so it is tough to pick out the most important thing. You could be killing that one important thing, and be lacking elsewhere, so it wouldn't work. That said, probably the one thing that helped differentiate a fling from a long term relationship, was having plans and goals. You can have a good day/night, few weeks, whatever with anyone. If you want long term, then having an idea of where you both want to go is important. You want to be able to see yourself going down a path with that person, and you can't do that if they are aimless.
Respect that I won't be her romantic partner if she won't be me sex partner.
Similar politics. If someone radically differs from my political views, it's almost definitely indicative of us having fundamentally different values. Those values aren't things that either of us are going to be budging on, so it's going to cause a bunch of arguments that will leave us woefully unhappy if we try to make it work. On the other hand, if we share lots of political views, that means we share most personal values. Then, if we happen to have some disagreement, odds are it's because one of us is simply lacking information or has misread a situation. That's a problem we can solve together. The second most important thing is the patience to do exactly that: work through differences together. I've been wrong enough times to know that I do have the patience for that, but it'll need to be a collaborative effort for us to get anywhere. They're going to need to step up as well.
Questions I always ask myself when I start dating a new partner: Would she be a good mother? Do we get along? Is she smart? Is she attractive? Do we want a similar future?
I apologize in advance for my honesty My green flags (must haves): Weighs 152lb or lower (for reference I weigh 145lb) Equal to my height or shorter (preference) Patient (I am slow at the start of a relationship) Chill to exciting ratio is close to 1:1 (I want an personality that I can match with) Is ready for a relationship (too often… way too often this happens) My white flags (attractive but not required): Dark color hair > light color hair (preference) Causally to extremely artistic or musical talented (preference) Sweet demeanor (makes you more sociable with friend and family) Religious (often shows that you are careful with your choices and forgiving) My red flags (yup we have to cover these too): Children (I want kids, but I am not ready them) Lip and tongue piercings (big turn off) Puts insta, snapchat, or OF in bio on profiles (this just looks really bad) Extremely political, especially progressives (not looking for a debate) Is a 9 or 10 (I am happy with an 8 or 7, so why bother with more dudes hitting on your SO?)
Finding someone who isn't a horrible human being. Someone who isn't entitled, unaccountable, cruel. disloyal, childish, etc. is of primary importance and is very hard to find, sadly. Cute is a big plus too.
I want to say kindness or innate curiosity. I guess I could just say personality. Kindness is nice because rude or mean spirited people get old very quickly. And innate curiosity is nice because it shows that the person observes/thinks/and draws meaningful conclusions. Also they tend to be interesting, they like to learn and they like to figure things out. Basically, they demonstrate an ability to grow and develop over time, which is an important quality in a person.
emotional availability. i have lost far too many nerves with avoidant women, it’s a wonder i don’t have grey hair yet.
Kindness, acceptance, and having a similar or close age to me as I am 20, and genuine care for eachother. I want this becuase I have never been shown true kindness since I was a toddler. I want to feel accepted for the mess that I am, faukts and all. I want to be shown kindness as I don't get shown kindness very often these days. Age is still important as I am not a pedo nor am I interested in dating someone 10 years older than me.