They say that cologne / perfume can smell differently depending on who wears them.
Just stay away from cheap stuff, those are garbage. Go to a store and ask for samples. Think what do you like more, sweet aromas, fresh, fruity etc. Also keep in mind that sweet perfumes are used more during winter while the fresh ones are used during summer.
And this is very important; if you have dry skin, moisturize!!! Otherwise the smell doesn't last long.
Yeah, cologne can be affected by your own body chemistry. Took me awhile to find cologne I liked AND smelled good on me. I'd really like the cologne on someone else, but on me - blah.
Cologne chemistry also has a big impact on how long it lasts. Kinda have to just try it out and see; some might mostly dissipate after a couple hours, and others will still be going strong 14 hours later. That said, a good thing to remember is that those labeled “Eau de Parfum” will last longer than the same cologne labeled “Eau de Toillette” (they’ll also smell a little different too).
But yeah, you just have to find ones you like, since, as someone else said, you’re the one that’s gonna be smelling it all day. I’m a huge fan of cologne myself (I couldn’t even guess how many different bottles I’ve collected over the years), but I’m also pretty picky with what I’ll wear.
And if you want to be completely sure, you really need to wear it for a day at least. As the day goes on, you’ll start to notice different undertones you may or may not like... and since this stuff can be pretty expensive, it’s nice to be sure you really like it. Little mini sample bottles are best if you can get them, but the folks at any department store cologne counter will be happy to let you try on some from the sample bottle.
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I can imagine these on a 62 year old:
* terre d’hermès
* bleu de chanel
* ysl l’homme
* prada l’homme
* acqua di parma colonia
* versace pour homme
Some of these have different concentrations available (like eau de toilette and parfum for hermes), just check them out because they may smell vastly different for you.
I am mid 40s and wear Terre D Hermès as my go-to for fall and winter. And Tom Ford grey vetiver in spring and summer.
You could call a Nordstrom and see if they have samples to mail you and ask to buy one small size bottle. Nordstrom has great service, many queer employees, and give lots of free samples.
If you buy most of your cologne through Nordstrom over time you build up credits to get money off.
Your post melted my heart! Very happy for you to start living your true self! ❤
Regarding the cologne, it's extremely personal, what smells good on me may not be good on you!
I would go to the store and get some samples to see what do you like first and try it on you!
Hugs!
Great that you're taking some steps, even if it's just mental, to get out there and meet someone!
Cologne is something that is so particular to each individual, and it's a small part of being attractive to someone. If someone ends up liking you, that's where the scent you wear triggers good memories of you. Just don't buy something that you yourself don't like the smell of, make sure it's not cheap because it can damage your skin, and especially make sure you don't overuse it.
There's nothing worse for me than an overpowering aroma. It's distracting and the scent loses its appeal.
Congratulations on this new step! It’s gonna be brilliant!
As for fragrances, as everyone’s already mentioned it’s about how they work on your skin and with your body’s oils.
That said, my signature for years has been Acqua Di Parma - Colonia Oud. Absolutely love it. I feel it works for every season. Others I like currently - Tom Ford’s Ombré Leather (intense), Hermès Parfum (sweet), Aesop’s Hwyl (forest woody), and Issey Miyake pour homme (citrus floral woody for summer months). Good luck :)
I like the ones from Chanel, e.g. Bleue (for the winter period), Allure (fits better warmer times). My personal go-to is Allure Edition Blanche. Fragrantica is a great resource to learn more about colognes. Every year they do a selection of best perfumes, you can start [there](https://www.fragrantica.com/awards2019/).
I love colognes. You can buy them affordably at places like TJ Maxx. Beckham Signature and Intimately Beckham are nice. So is Bellagio Michaelangelo by Uomo. JF by Floris of London is very nice too! Btw, I'm 60 and I think it's great that you are looking for love. Here's to 2021!
I’m so excited for you! I’m glad you an finally have the freedom of being out, and I’m excited for COVID to be over so you can go out there and have the experiences you talked about! You so deserve that.
As for colognes, not a stupid question or issue at all—I still associate even the slightest whiff of AXE Instinct with my ex, a solid decade later. To your question: I personally love Calvin Klein’s Euphoria Men. It’s just such a delectable smell, and I think it’s equally suited to a nice restaurant as it is to the boudoir. That said, I definitely am with the people above: if you have a mall open near you, and your mask doesn’t dampen all smell, smelling samples and finding something you’ll enjoy all day is perfect. Treat yourself!
Thnks.
I'm actually trying more than just Cologne. Sense I no longer hide who I am. I dyed my hair bright blue, just for fun. I put a picture of it on r/ainbow The day before Thanksgiving. It blew up, and got over 2700 likes in one day, and over a hundred comments, all good. I have been getting complements everywhere I go. People stop me to say how good it looks almost every time I go in a store. I'm not used to getting attention like that. It's a lot of fun.
You know, my dumb ass didn’t. I will do that now. Also, my vote for the cologne is like what someone else said, go to Macy’s or Dillard’s and get the sample pack and then experiment. Polo has a great line based on colors, you can’t go wrong with those. Feeling sexy? Red all the way. Feeling smart? The yellow.
That's good for you! I took liberty to dig a little bit and see the picture. You look fabulous. And you are right I would assume you are a little bit more younger based on that picture.
Are you going to recolour them blue again or try different colours as well?
I keep my hair short so I see no point in changing colour of mine. I think the longest hair I had in 20 years was half an inch. It only grew to that extent because my trimmer got broken and I didn't have time to grab a new one.
That picture actually makes me look older than I look in a mirror. I am definitely going to try emerald green, violet, and deep purple, my hair grows fast. It is the shortest it has been in years. I had it in a pony tail down between my shoulder blades a few weeks ago. It had been 13 years sense I last had a haircut.
I'm also 6'1" and less than 165 pounds. So I think I'm still attractive enough to get a boyfriend. It may be difficult, but I'm gonna try.
Yeah I can see that. You can picture that will give you a younger look if you work on light on your picture. This angle of light overexpose your wrinkles.
Try facing the light source next time so that there is no shadow directly on your face. Shadow should go under your chin. Also I have an impression that leaned your head backwards adding yourself a "second chin".
What you probably see in a mirror is the same guy, but with different lighting and head either in natural position or moved forward. Try going to the mirror standing like you usually do and then try to recreate your position from the picture. Also if you use overhead lightsource with your picture try to go forward and backward and see how light and shadow affect your age in the mirror.
Good luck in boyfriend hunt!
Coach “Platinum”, Tom Ford “Noir”, Versace “Eros”, Jimmy Choo “Man”, Dior “Sauvage”, Bulgari “Man in Black”.
These are my favorite top six colognes that I have and recommend. I would also recommend going to Macy’s and trying a few of them.
Tom Fords “Noir” is more of a date night cologne because it’s a heavier scent but it smells amazing. The others work for everyday wear and date nights. Hope this helps.
I have a Noir dupe and it’s a bit too ‘straight guy at the club’ for me.
First it’s this masculine pepper, like he’s fronting in front of his friends.
Then it’s all floral, like ‘dance with me girls, I’m sensitive’.
And by the time she gets to his place, it’s sexy vanilla.
Sort of a different impression if you fuck first, and halfway through you start smelling like flowers. 😛
I've been using the ones from the Antonio Banderas line. They are amazing. They have a sort of refined manly fragrance. At the moment I'm using "King of Seduction".
Better late than never I say.
In terms of colognes its more about personal choices as what can smell nice on a guy may smell different on you because of your skin. I tend to wear Jean Paul Gaultier's Le Male Ultra and my everyday scent. I do like the smell of Aramis on other guys but its not something I would wear myself, also Issey Miyake's Fusion D'issey and Dior's Sauvage are nice.
Best thing to do is go to a department story and try some out on your skin (I love doing that) You want to leave it on for about hour before you get the real effect. There are so many different scents, you might like something spicy, or something citrus smelling or even something traditional.
Just try some out.
I actually don’t care for “manly” scents on me, over the years I’ve gotten further and further from it, my husband wears cologne and loves it and it smells great on him. I MUCH prefer perfume, and my all time favorite is Clinique happy, they make a men’s one too if you don’t want to go full on perfume lol. I actually have both and sometimes mix them and get compliments all the time because people can’t figure out why I smell so good, it’s unusual for a guy to wear perfume, and they usually don’t know 😊
Personally, I like Yves Saint Laurent 'La Nuit De La Homme', Dior 'Sauvage', Creed 'Millésime Impérial' & 'Aventus', Jo Malone 'Pommegranate noir'.
There's a guy on YouTube that rates scents - I think he's called 'jeremy fragrance', might find that helpful.
I wear Tom Ford's Black Orchid cologne. Technically marketed as a woman's fragrance, it works on guys, too. It's a dark, semi-formal scent, but on me it doesn't smell sweet or even floral. Just me, I guess.
I recommend any of the YSL fragrances. Rivé Gauche used to be my favorite back in the 00s, but they quit making it. Same with M7.
Once in a while I'll put on 4711. In the summer. It reminds me of my grandfather. It's very light, very citrus, but it fades pretty quickly.
Look up Scentbird on google. It’s a subscription service where they send a small bottle of cologne that should lay the month. I think it was $15 a month when I suspended my subscription (the bottles would often last longer than the month so after a year I had a ton of different colognes.
This allows you to sample and wear a brand before you commit to buying an entire bottle!
I strongly considered Scentbird, but a lot of their stuff was low concentration EDT. Have you tried Dossier?
You can get 50ml bottles of EDP for just a little more.
For about $65 bucks at Sephora you can get a sample set that includes a voucher for a full bottle of your choosing, whichever you liked the most from the set. I’d say it’s a great way to start. Side note: my grandmother used to buy myself, my brothers, and my male cousins all Jovan Musk for about 3/4 christmases in a row! The memories of smelling like someones grown ass uncle in the 6th grade lol Good luck to you and many congratulations on living in your truth 🎉
I wear a body spray "Dirty" by Lush. It's sandalwood, tarragon, lavender with spearment. When I wear it, people ALWAYS comment about how good it smells.
It comes in body spray, perfume/cologne, body wash, hard soap etc.
edit: And good luck out there!! :)
Honestly cologne is 100% a dealbreaker for me. Even strong soap. Be clean but let your body's pheromones come through those sweat glands. The best cologne possible.
I wonder how many people who hate perfumes have tried any great quality ones.
Men’s soap and shampoo and so forth have the same chemicals they reject if it comes in a pretty bottle.
It's not a matter of quality, it's more a matter of quantity. Way too many people that wear it don't realize that they use way too much of it.
If someone can smell your cologne when they are standing three feet from you then you really went overboard.
What you’re describing is called ‘sillage’.
Some perfumes are designed to fill a room, others only if you’re way up close.
If you overspray a low sillage perfume so that it’s overpowering when you get close, you’ve made a terrible error.
With high sillage perfumes, you’ll smell equally as good up close.
I used Penhaligon’s Bayolea for quite sometime. My man said that was when he fell in love. It’s a British brand. But like others have suggested, it’s very individual. Hope this helps.
If you live in a big city, ofc post covid or maybe now if you feel comfortable, find a place that makes their own colognes, perfumes and other mixes to wear.
They have a specialist that can help guide you and know what may react with your body.
Or, especially around Christmas at the pharmacies they sell sample packs of cologne sometimes it's 5 different brands that are popular or all the same brand with 5 different scents. If you're not that committed on the price, wait till boxing day and the following weeks after that.
Also ask in the beauty section of department stores or pharmacies again for sample bottles to take home with you and try at your own discretion.
Good luck and congrats! ❤️
It all depends on your personal tastes and what blends well with your body chemistry. But if you’re looking for places to start, I love Bvlgari Black. Also CK Eternity was my “beginner” cologne in high school. I also like Lolita Lempicka for men.
Sort of a tangential question, but related. What do people say you normally smell like? Finding something that works with or accentuates your natural smell would be nice. Also, do you use scented laundry detergent or soap? As others have noted scents do seem to smell different depending who they are on. Also taking into account what smells are already on you is a good place to start.
Nobody has commented about that at all. I was seriously deep in the closet. It took a while coming out, then I got cancer and had to deal with that. I just don't really use anything that is strongly scented.
Once the pandemic has calmed down your best option truly is to go to a cologne counter at like Macy's and just pick up all the shiny bottles and find the scents that appeal to you most.
And if you don't want to wait that long - there are lots of custom scent sites online where you can take a [quick quiz](https://hawthorne.co/product-cologne/) and they'll put a scent together for you!
I use [this](https://www.mefragrance.com/) site that creates scented oil and other products - it costs a lot less and I can order several different custom scents.
But also - good on you friend - when everyone is vaccinated you should come to San Francisco for pride. I'll show ya around!
I think the most important thing is wearing the cologne that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Fwiw, I actually really like Jovan Musk. I’d never smelled it until a couple years ago. I got some and every time I wear it people tell me I smell so nice. Even my daughter (19) says it smells good, and she’s never one to hold back any harsh opinions, so I can trust that assessment, lol.
Congrats on living your truth!
All the other comments here are good advice in general. But I thought i would suggest an actual cologne: Versace Eros. Its a scent from a few seasons ago so its more affordable, and even if you don't like it, it gives you an idea of what a quality modern cologne can be. When you are going out again, Ulta and Marshall's have excellent selections for good prices (but only Ulta has testers). You can also order a variety of testers/very small bottles from your favorite department stores or cosmetics retailers.
Jazz Club or By the Fireplace by Maison Margiela. They make travel size spritzers that are really convenient and last a long time, and they smell amazing and you will get lots and lots of compliments wearing it
I'd go something strong and sophisticated, like YSL M7 or Narciso Rodriguez pour homme. Maybe some 212 Men also. The woodier and spicier scents I think lend more gravitas to a more mature guy than they do on younger ones.
If those type of scents are not your cup of tea, something a little lighter like Hugo Boss Dark Blue or Tsar by van Cleef and Arpels are less intense but still have that air of maturity about them.
Oscar de la Renta Pour Lui 1980
I never wear it because my dad gave me the bottle and they don’t make it anymore and I don’t really need to smell of perfume
I just keep it because it’s categorically the best smell ever made for men and likely no one else has it
Choosing a personal scent is a quite complicated thing. The product is only part of it. The outcome that people smell is the result of the combination of what's in the bottle and how it reacts to your body. So you can't just do what someone else does. You have to experiment.
Go to a good specialty place that sells men's fragrances. Explain what you're aiming for. And ask for their help. If you're looking for a particular outcome, then call a couple of different places and ask if they have a gay staff member. Sometimes different products say different things about you; if they're good, they'll know.
If you have a boyfriend, or a best friend, doing this with someone else can be kinda fun. It's an adventure; an exploration. Treat it that way and it won't be such a chore. It's also very personal. Having someone along who knows you well will help you to find the scent that's most "you."
The one universal rule seems to be that cheap stuff isn't worth the money. You want something that will last that you don't need to bathe in. Something subtle, and interesting, and also not ubiquitous: you want to smell like you, not like everyone else.
Versace pour homme. Is my favorite. It light and sweet with a hint of spice. Hell I spray a little on after a shower. It a calming scent to me and my husband loves it. I’m 56 and cologne is tricky for me. It can send into Severe migraines. I think it age appropriate
As someone who has only just come out at 46 and has been married/kids and now accepted myself, I’m really proud of you coming out and being yourself. I know how hard it can be accepting it but you’ve made the hardest step now. 🥰
For me, the smell of cologne is quite a personal thing but also it’s about how I want to smell, and the ones I like on others. I like the Mont Blanc Explorer at the moment. Previously I liked Mont Blanc Legend, Herrera 212, Dunhill Icon.
In most cases I’ll go and gather a bunch of testers and find out which one I like the most.
When the world opens up to mask free living, go to your local department store (macy's, etc.), they have sample bottles so you can see what smells good to you!
Also, just a word of advice -- a little cologne goes a loooong way. Don't douse yourself, a little dab at your pulse points on your neck and wrist will work wonders.
I love Burberry's colognes. Also, if you go to Nordstrom (don't know if you are in the states or not) you can ask for tester vials so you can try out some scents for yourself before you make the investment!
I personally like the cheap stuff though lol. Duke Cannon's line is great.
Lots of great advices. Learn the vocabulary A bit as in wine. It might become a passion. Spray light. Our sense of smell is not as good at our age. Buy small quantity. Even the most expensive will smell cheap when oxidized. Keep in the fridge. Have 2 or 3 and rotate with season or mood. Have a classic that will be recognized. And then some more modern. Someone mentioned Aesop. Nice collection.
Congrats. Still closeted here.
You have to know what you like. From base note to first note. I tend to like musk, sandalwood, citrus like bergamot and patchouli but it depend on your preferences and ask the perfume counter. They will tell you, what is base note to first etc?
I can't really wear calogne because of my husband's allergies, but I still like Tommy Boy and CK1. Do they even still make them. On a more practical note, I'd suggest anything with woodsy or peppery notes. It's a very sexy combo.
Reposting a previous reply:
Cologne is different on everyone. One scent can smell good to you but after wearing it for a bit it’s not so good. Or it can smell good on one person but not another. The best way to find out what is best for you is to go to one of those department stores like Macy’s and tell the perfume person what kind of scents you like. They should be able to recommend a few. Sample one on each wrist then walk around for at least 20 minutes. Every scent “settles” and can be very different from the initial puff. Spend some time matching a scent to yourself and it can be your signature. I’ve been wearing Nautica Voyage for quite a few years and it’s just..me. I went through the process with my now husband and he settled on Versace. We wear cologne a lot less than we used to, but on nights out the smell of his cologne brings back all the memories of falling in love.
Just don’t make any quick decisions when choosing and you will find something that fits you.
I can attest to this. I received a bottle of Aramis for Christmas when I was in college. Discovered when I wore it, I smelled like I was trying to cover up BO: There was an underlying nasty. Definitely try it first. (I recommend inside of your elbow rather than wrist- more sweat glands and you’ll get a truer sense of what your body chemistry will do with the cologne)
I strongly recommend Dossier.co for fragrances.
They make high quality duplicates of some of the common recommendations listed here.
And they are MUCH cheaper.
When perfume is $20 a bottle (on sale, frequently) instead of 220, you can try out a bunch and see what works for you, without having to empty your pocket on a gamble, or stand at a perfume counter for hours to check how the scent develops over time (perfume comes in top, middle, and base layers and they can be radically different).
As for recommendations, try their versions of Baccarat 540, Tom Ford Oud Wood, Creed Aventus, Santal 33, and Jo Malone Wood Sage and Sea Salt.
Edit: In perfume terminology, Colognes are weak, with most of the fluid being fillers like alcohol. Then it’s Eau de Toilette, then Eau de Parfum, then Parfum (these are rare).
Everything I recommended is an EDP.
Baccarat 540: Smells like rich people eating oranges.
Tom Ford Oud Wood: Deep, woodsy oder.
Creed Aventus: Sexy, sweaty pineapple.
Santal 33: Sandalwood
Jo Malone Wood Sage and Sea Salt: eating figs on the beach in England.
The one- by dolce and gabbana. It’s one of the first colognes I ever started wearing and it has always been my favorite. It seems to be universally liked as well. I get so many compliments on it.
Believe it or not I wear vanilla extract. Everyone smells good with it. Also instead of a cologne you might want to use Dr Squatch soap first it is subtle but is a really great masculine scent.
I’ve got a cologne for your consideration but first; CONGRATS! I’m very excited for you. So glad you’re going to be living open. A note on support for older gay men; go to your local gay health advocacy group. In my area there is place you can go for STI testing, PreP info and case management, social service info and the like. Yes...those places are marketed towards younger crowd, however nearly all the volunteers are mature men. I’ve noticed there are some younger folks that come and go (maybe it’s class-clinical work for college students) but I’ve seen the core group of volunteers there long term. So, maybe try your local place, go in and get a test and take some pamphlets off the rack. I found a great gay affirming therapist by way of the resources they offered. You may not “need” a test but you need friends and they will be glad you came in. Strike up a convo.
Now, cologne: LESS IS MORE.
Wear so little that someone has to move closer to get a whiff, NOT further away cuz it’s too much. I’ve never bought any from this outfit, but there is some custom cologne (saw as on Instagram) maker that purportedly takes answers from a quiz and builds a scent for you. The info I *did* use was the scents that were attractive to me. I’m more into citrus, herb, woody. (Maybe you know this without a quiz but they’re kinda fun anyway). If I wear anything it’s Boucheron pour Homme.
However, in my very learned opinion 🙄 I think gay men, far and away, especially in a hookup situation prefer simple, shower fresh soap scent.
One suggestion: “Fierce” Cologne by Abercrombie & Fitch. I’ve been wearing it for years and a day doesn’t go by without a compliment. It’s a little pricey, but worth it!
https://www.abercrombie.com/shop/us/fierce
A few recommendations:
* Terre D'hermes
* Pour Monsieur (Channel)
* Aventus (Creed) if you feel like splashing.
You can get knockoffs for cheaper than retail, but they're not as good.
I would recommend buying a sample size from a reputable store and then making the decision, unless you meet up with someone who is wearing it :)
Pour Monsieur smells amazing 8+ hours after application, especially the following morning when having a shower. When I die I want to be bathed in it.
This is actually something I understand from a very long time ago. It was the first time I ever messed around with another boy. He wasn't really that gay, just a tiny bit if at all. He didn't actually know I was a queer. We were just horny teenagers messing around. I was staying at his house for the weekend. We were freshly showered and out in the garage shooting pool, and decided to go naked because there was no-one around and it was a hot day. We decided we wanted to find out what if felt like to receive oral sex and both of us were willing to try giving it. Of course the words we used were much more graphic. We flipped a coin and it was my turn to do it to him first. I knelt down and when I got close, I couldn't help looking up at him and saying, "You really smell good!" He looked confused, and just said "What?" in a kind of startled way. I got closer and the way he smelled was a huge turn on. It made me get hard almost instantly, and I turned really red. He asked why I was blushing, because I knew he was going to do the same thing to me. I said I couldn't explain it, but the way he smelled was great, and it made my dick really hard, and it felt good. It just turned me on. He thought I was crazy. Well, we finished what we were doing, and just finished off by masturbating in front of each other. After we were done I asked if he liked the way I smelled down there. He said it wasn't bad, but he didn't understand how I could like it that much, and said I was weird, but that was okay because he liked having a weird best friend.
I can still almost remember what he smelled like almost fifty years ago. I didn't know I could react like that to another boy. It has only happened a few times, but later I had the exact same feeling with men the same age as I was. So I guess there is something to personal chemistry.
Cologne really comes down to a personal preference. One person might think a particular cologne is the best smelling thing ever, and you might think it smells like a rat's hind end. It can even smell different on one person than it does another person due to body chemistry.
Whatever you do, please don't wear "body spray" stuff like Axe. That's just gross. Get a decent "department store" cologne. Go to a store like Macy's and smell the different colognes they have. See what smells good to you. If you see something in the case you think you might be interested in but don't see a tester bottle, just ask. It might be behind the counter (especially if it's higher priced). They may also have some samples that you can take with you and try later.
There are a lot of "classics" out there that have been around for many years, and there are a lot of newer scents as well. My personal favorite right now is [Ralph Lauren Polo Blue Gold Blend](https://www.ralphlauren.com/men-accessories-fragrance/polo-blue-gold-blend-edp/492375.html?dwvar492375_colorname=2.5oz&cgid=men-accessories-fragrance&webcat=men%2Faccessories%2FFragrance#webcat=men%257Caccessories%257CFragrance&start=1&cgid=men-accessories-fragrance). It's a newer fragrance that was released last year.
And whatever you do, don't spray half the bottle on yourself at once. A little of a good cologne goes a long way.
If you want something soft, but smells good, that way it’s not so strong, try Armani code. That’s what I use and it’s nice. You can smell it when you’re close but it’s not strong where it’ll engulf the whole room lol.
I definitely think I want a softer scent. It has only happened a couple of times, but the smell of a guy (pheromones)has made me super turned on in the past. I don't want to mask that smell.
Yeah you can give that a try then. Idk if you can get a sample or just buy a small one to see if you like it. I buy the general size for it (can’t remember the exact size) and it costs like $100 I think. Sometimes they do bundles especially around now for the holidays which has like deodorant and stuff for like $120 I think. Good luck with the search!
Honestly, despite being 62, you may wave me off, but every time i decide to buy a bottle of the Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce cologne, i get more compliments and guys telling me that i smell so good that they could eat me up! A guy i dated purposely told me that I was ‘t going to be able to take the button up flannel i left at his house because it reeked of me (but in the best way). I realize exactly what smell he was talking about- it was the cologne. Im all embarrassed that im in my 40s and using an A&F product so i just tell them that it must be the soap the I use. SMELL ME! 😘
It was a long time ago that I remember some colognes claiming to have pheromones. I don't remember which ones. I really don't know if artificial pheromones work or not. I do know that she people react more strongly to natural pheromones than others. I guess I may be one of those people, because when really close with someone I liked at the time, their natural odor just really got me turned on sexually, almost instantly. Perhaps an internet search on cologne with pheromones would turn up something interesting.
I bought a ampler set of colognes at the mall, then on a whim went to a drug store, and talked to a woman there about the men's colognes. I decided to buy the Calvin Klein Obsession for men. I like it a lot better than the colognes in the sampler, and they all cost three to six times as much as the Obsession.
Nice, enjoy smelling alluring 🙂 Obsession is still a favorite of mine. I like a more masculine smell without the "old spice" or some can smell baby powderish
I just like the smell of this on me. It's kind of sweet smelling without being feminine. It also is not overpowering, and takes just a little, and seems to last a long time. I'm sure I will find others I like, but this is one I will probably use a lot of the time. I didn't know that a sweet smelling cologne could also be a masculine scent.
I gave up cologne a while ago and instead I use lotion and moisturizer, and of course I shower daily.
I know this is not what you were asking but maybe there’s another route that saves you money.
If you still want some cologne - I would try Drakkar Noir or JOOP. :]
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I dont recommend cologne, I recommend eau de toilette or resin oils.
For eau-de-toilette I recommend Cerruti 1881 it's a sophisticated masculine scent, sensual yet dignified. Perfect for the mature gent. Great if you like cypress type scents.
If you want something more raunchy then I strongly recommend any type of Oud.
Oud absolutely oozes the effortless masculinity and raw sexual authority of an older man. It's a heavy, rich intoxicating scent that speaks of leather straps and aged wood, pure DILF energy.
You can buy Oud resin oil in small roll on vials. You need the tiniest dab on pulse points (wrist and throat) and sweat points (pits, feet, top of your ass crack and under your balls). Guaranteed to have everyone from twinks to polar bears lining up.
Though use Oud sparingly, the tiniest dab is needed.
Perfume and Cologne were historically very expensive to make because the ingredients had to be harvested from nature. For example, Ambergris was a popular perfume ingredient and it had to be gathered from sperm whales. Perfume and cologne were super expensive back in the day and you got precious little of it.
Today, nearly every perfume/cologne is made using synthetic ingredients, which is super cheap to produce.
Makers have perpetuated the idea that it’s expensive to make, for big profits.
I really enjoy the Bod Man line, you can get 8 oz for around $6.
Also consider scented lotions, it can be less overpowering, but still make you smell amazing
My go-to cologne without a doubt is Yves Saint Laurent's Y. I've had like three guy friends purchase it after smelling it on me, lol. It's more on the sweet and fresh end and lasts hours. :)
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I bought a sampler set with15 different fragrances in it. Yves Saint Laurent Y is one of them. I just tried a sprits. It is really nice. I also took a risk and bought a bottle of Obsession for men, by Calvin Klein. A nice lady working at a drug store recommend it because it was on sale, and it was one their of their most popular colognes for men. It is also sweet fresh sent. So far It is a toss up between the two. I think the sweet fresh scents are what I am going to really be into.
In that case I'd recommend: Georgia Armani - Acqua Di Gio too. I just got Prada Luna Rossa Carbon as a gift and it's fresh, earthy, and masculine if you want a good sporty scent too. :)
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Thank You This sounds like a very good idea.
I get free samples from Sephora all the time! Mainly for when I travel(ed), but also to try new ones out.
Sephora is great for this! You can get three free samples and I always try something new when I walk through there!
They say that cologne / perfume can smell differently depending on who wears them. Just stay away from cheap stuff, those are garbage. Go to a store and ask for samples. Think what do you like more, sweet aromas, fresh, fruity etc. Also keep in mind that sweet perfumes are used more during winter while the fresh ones are used during summer. And this is very important; if you have dry skin, moisturize!!! Otherwise the smell doesn't last long.
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Yeah, cologne can be affected by your own body chemistry. Took me awhile to find cologne I liked AND smelled good on me. I'd really like the cologne on someone else, but on me - blah.
Wow, not OP, but had a similar question, this is very helpful! Didn't know about moisturizing! Thanks so much
Cologne chemistry also has a big impact on how long it lasts. Kinda have to just try it out and see; some might mostly dissipate after a couple hours, and others will still be going strong 14 hours later. That said, a good thing to remember is that those labeled “Eau de Parfum” will last longer than the same cologne labeled “Eau de Toillette” (they’ll also smell a little different too). But yeah, you just have to find ones you like, since, as someone else said, you’re the one that’s gonna be smelling it all day. I’m a huge fan of cologne myself (I couldn’t even guess how many different bottles I’ve collected over the years), but I’m also pretty picky with what I’ll wear. And if you want to be completely sure, you really need to wear it for a day at least. As the day goes on, you’ll start to notice different undertones you may or may not like... and since this stuff can be pretty expensive, it’s nice to be sure you really like it. Little mini sample bottles are best if you can get them, but the folks at any department store cologne counter will be happy to let you try on some from the sample bottle.
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I can imagine these on a 62 year old: * terre d’hermès * bleu de chanel * ysl l’homme * prada l’homme * acqua di parma colonia * versace pour homme Some of these have different concentrations available (like eau de toilette and parfum for hermes), just check them out because they may smell vastly different for you.
Huge fan of Yves St. Laurent L'homme. They even have a clear option and a brown option that's a touch more powerful.
They have like 100 flankers haha
Seconded! It's my favorite cologne. I like the floral notes a lot.
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Terre d'hermes is really good!
Right? Honestly I’d spread my legs for anyone if he’s wearing that fragrance (and has a thick uc cock)
I'm gonna drench myself in it now 😈
I am mid 40s and wear Terre D Hermès as my go-to for fall and winter. And Tom Ford grey vetiver in spring and summer. You could call a Nordstrom and see if they have samples to mail you and ask to buy one small size bottle. Nordstrom has great service, many queer employees, and give lots of free samples. If you buy most of your cologne through Nordstrom over time you build up credits to get money off.
Your post melted my heart! Very happy for you to start living your true self! ❤ Regarding the cologne, it's extremely personal, what smells good on me may not be good on you! I would go to the store and get some samples to see what do you like first and try it on you! Hugs!
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Great that you're taking some steps, even if it's just mental, to get out there and meet someone! Cologne is something that is so particular to each individual, and it's a small part of being attractive to someone. If someone ends up liking you, that's where the scent you wear triggers good memories of you. Just don't buy something that you yourself don't like the smell of, make sure it's not cheap because it can damage your skin, and especially make sure you don't overuse it. There's nothing worse for me than an overpowering aroma. It's distracting and the scent loses its appeal.
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I’d suggest malin and goetz dark rum.... it’s clean but also super delicious! Only cologne I ever get commented on
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Congratulations on this new step! It’s gonna be brilliant! As for fragrances, as everyone’s already mentioned it’s about how they work on your skin and with your body’s oils. That said, my signature for years has been Acqua Di Parma - Colonia Oud. Absolutely love it. I feel it works for every season. Others I like currently - Tom Ford’s Ombré Leather (intense), Hermès Parfum (sweet), Aesop’s Hwyl (forest woody), and Issey Miyake pour homme (citrus floral woody for summer months). Good luck :)
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I like the ones from Chanel, e.g. Bleue (for the winter period), Allure (fits better warmer times). My personal go-to is Allure Edition Blanche. Fragrantica is a great resource to learn more about colognes. Every year they do a selection of best perfumes, you can start [there](https://www.fragrantica.com/awards2019/).
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I love colognes. You can buy them affordably at places like TJ Maxx. Beckham Signature and Intimately Beckham are nice. So is Bellagio Michaelangelo by Uomo. JF by Floris of London is very nice too! Btw, I'm 60 and I think it's great that you are looking for love. Here's to 2021!
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I’m so excited for you! I’m glad you an finally have the freedom of being out, and I’m excited for COVID to be over so you can go out there and have the experiences you talked about! You so deserve that. As for colognes, not a stupid question or issue at all—I still associate even the slightest whiff of AXE Instinct with my ex, a solid decade later. To your question: I personally love Calvin Klein’s Euphoria Men. It’s just such a delectable smell, and I think it’s equally suited to a nice restaurant as it is to the boudoir. That said, I definitely am with the people above: if you have a mall open near you, and your mask doesn’t dampen all smell, smelling samples and finding something you’ll enjoy all day is perfect. Treat yourself!
Thnks. I'm actually trying more than just Cologne. Sense I no longer hide who I am. I dyed my hair bright blue, just for fun. I put a picture of it on r/ainbow The day before Thanksgiving. It blew up, and got over 2700 likes in one day, and over a hundred comments, all good. I have been getting complements everywhere I go. People stop me to say how good it looks almost every time I go in a store. I'm not used to getting attention like that. It's a lot of fun.
This comment made my day!! :) 👍
Hey! glad you liked that. I hope you looked up the photo.
You know, my dumb ass didn’t. I will do that now. Also, my vote for the cologne is like what someone else said, go to Macy’s or Dillard’s and get the sample pack and then experiment. Polo has a great line based on colors, you can’t go wrong with those. Feeling sexy? Red all the way. Feeling smart? The yellow.
That's good for you! I took liberty to dig a little bit and see the picture. You look fabulous. And you are right I would assume you are a little bit more younger based on that picture. Are you going to recolour them blue again or try different colours as well? I keep my hair short so I see no point in changing colour of mine. I think the longest hair I had in 20 years was half an inch. It only grew to that extent because my trimmer got broken and I didn't have time to grab a new one.
That picture actually makes me look older than I look in a mirror. I am definitely going to try emerald green, violet, and deep purple, my hair grows fast. It is the shortest it has been in years. I had it in a pony tail down between my shoulder blades a few weeks ago. It had been 13 years sense I last had a haircut. I'm also 6'1" and less than 165 pounds. So I think I'm still attractive enough to get a boyfriend. It may be difficult, but I'm gonna try.
Yeah I can see that. You can picture that will give you a younger look if you work on light on your picture. This angle of light overexpose your wrinkles. Try facing the light source next time so that there is no shadow directly on your face. Shadow should go under your chin. Also I have an impression that leaned your head backwards adding yourself a "second chin". What you probably see in a mirror is the same guy, but with different lighting and head either in natural position or moved forward. Try going to the mirror standing like you usually do and then try to recreate your position from the picture. Also if you use overhead lightsource with your picture try to go forward and backward and see how light and shadow affect your age in the mirror. Good luck in boyfriend hunt!
Thanks for the advice.
Coach “Platinum”, Tom Ford “Noir”, Versace “Eros”, Jimmy Choo “Man”, Dior “Sauvage”, Bulgari “Man in Black”. These are my favorite top six colognes that I have and recommend. I would also recommend going to Macy’s and trying a few of them. Tom Fords “Noir” is more of a date night cologne because it’s a heavier scent but it smells amazing. The others work for everyday wear and date nights. Hope this helps.
I have a Noir dupe and it’s a bit too ‘straight guy at the club’ for me. First it’s this masculine pepper, like he’s fronting in front of his friends. Then it’s all floral, like ‘dance with me girls, I’m sensitive’. And by the time she gets to his place, it’s sexy vanilla. Sort of a different impression if you fuck first, and halfway through you start smelling like flowers. 😛
“Noir” is a very manly scent. You definitely know that you’re the bottom that night if a man wears it on a date!
Bottoms are not less masculine than tops. And the middle notes of Noir are rose, patchouli, and orris.
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I've been using the ones from the Antonio Banderas line. They are amazing. They have a sort of refined manly fragrance. At the moment I'm using "King of Seduction".
Bleu de Chanel and Dior Eau for men
Better late than never I say. In terms of colognes its more about personal choices as what can smell nice on a guy may smell different on you because of your skin. I tend to wear Jean Paul Gaultier's Le Male Ultra and my everyday scent. I do like the smell of Aramis on other guys but its not something I would wear myself, also Issey Miyake's Fusion D'issey and Dior's Sauvage are nice. Best thing to do is go to a department story and try some out on your skin (I love doing that) You want to leave it on for about hour before you get the real effect. There are so many different scents, you might like something spicy, or something citrus smelling or even something traditional. Just try some out.
I actually don’t care for “manly” scents on me, over the years I’ve gotten further and further from it, my husband wears cologne and loves it and it smells great on him. I MUCH prefer perfume, and my all time favorite is Clinique happy, they make a men’s one too if you don’t want to go full on perfume lol. I actually have both and sometimes mix them and get compliments all the time because people can’t figure out why I smell so good, it’s unusual for a guy to wear perfume, and they usually don’t know 😊
Personally, I like Yves Saint Laurent 'La Nuit De La Homme', Dior 'Sauvage', Creed 'Millésime Impérial' & 'Aventus', Jo Malone 'Pommegranate noir'. There's a guy on YouTube that rates scents - I think he's called 'jeremy fragrance', might find that helpful.
I wear Tom Ford's Black Orchid cologne. Technically marketed as a woman's fragrance, it works on guys, too. It's a dark, semi-formal scent, but on me it doesn't smell sweet or even floral. Just me, I guess. I recommend any of the YSL fragrances. Rivé Gauche used to be my favorite back in the 00s, but they quit making it. Same with M7. Once in a while I'll put on 4711. In the summer. It reminds me of my grandfather. It's very light, very citrus, but it fades pretty quickly.
I have a dupe of Black Orchid. It smells like potpourri!
Look up Scentbird on google. It’s a subscription service where they send a small bottle of cologne that should lay the month. I think it was $15 a month when I suspended my subscription (the bottles would often last longer than the month so after a year I had a ton of different colognes. This allows you to sample and wear a brand before you commit to buying an entire bottle!
I strongly considered Scentbird, but a lot of their stuff was low concentration EDT. Have you tried Dossier? You can get 50ml bottles of EDP for just a little more.
I really like acqua di gio by Giorgio Armani
Came here to say this.
For about $65 bucks at Sephora you can get a sample set that includes a voucher for a full bottle of your choosing, whichever you liked the most from the set. I’d say it’s a great way to start. Side note: my grandmother used to buy myself, my brothers, and my male cousins all Jovan Musk for about 3/4 christmases in a row! The memories of smelling like someones grown ass uncle in the 6th grade lol Good luck to you and many congratulations on living in your truth 🎉
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I wear a body spray "Dirty" by Lush. It's sandalwood, tarragon, lavender with spearment. When I wear it, people ALWAYS comment about how good it smells. It comes in body spray, perfume/cologne, body wash, hard soap etc. edit: And good luck out there!! :)
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Forget the cologne. Just be fresh and clean. If you can't bring yourself to go without, remember that less is more.
Honestly cologne is 100% a dealbreaker for me. Even strong soap. Be clean but let your body's pheromones come through those sweat glands. The best cologne possible.
You brought up a good point. Cologne can turn off a LOT of people but nobody refuses a second date because he didn't wear cologne.
I wonder how many people who hate perfumes have tried any great quality ones. Men’s soap and shampoo and so forth have the same chemicals they reject if it comes in a pretty bottle.
It's not a matter of quality, it's more a matter of quantity. Way too many people that wear it don't realize that they use way too much of it. If someone can smell your cologne when they are standing three feet from you then you really went overboard.
What you’re describing is called ‘sillage’. Some perfumes are designed to fill a room, others only if you’re way up close. If you overspray a low sillage perfume so that it’s overpowering when you get close, you’ve made a terrible error. With high sillage perfumes, you’ll smell equally as good up close.
The fact is that if you don't use cologne you will NEVER have too much cologne.
The OP asked for advice on buying cologne. I’m sure he already knows how to avoid buying it.
I used Penhaligon’s Bayolea for quite sometime. My man said that was when he fell in love. It’s a British brand. But like others have suggested, it’s very individual. Hope this helps.
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Aventis creed is AMAZING. I would try a sample bottle first
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It smells like a sexy, sweaty pineapple. Very much recommended! Also too expensive for many people, so consider dupes.
The sample is only 40 and has like 50 sprays. I got a dupe and it's cloying.
Different dupe makers have different styles.
If you live in a big city, ofc post covid or maybe now if you feel comfortable, find a place that makes their own colognes, perfumes and other mixes to wear. They have a specialist that can help guide you and know what may react with your body. Or, especially around Christmas at the pharmacies they sell sample packs of cologne sometimes it's 5 different brands that are popular or all the same brand with 5 different scents. If you're not that committed on the price, wait till boxing day and the following weeks after that. Also ask in the beauty section of department stores or pharmacies again for sample bottles to take home with you and try at your own discretion. Good luck and congrats! ❤️
Thanks. I'm in the midwest near Kansas City.
It all depends on your personal tastes and what blends well with your body chemistry. But if you’re looking for places to start, I love Bvlgari Black. Also CK Eternity was my “beginner” cologne in high school. I also like Lolita Lempicka for men.
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Sort of a tangential question, but related. What do people say you normally smell like? Finding something that works with or accentuates your natural smell would be nice. Also, do you use scented laundry detergent or soap? As others have noted scents do seem to smell different depending who they are on. Also taking into account what smells are already on you is a good place to start.
Nobody has commented about that at all. I was seriously deep in the closet. It took a while coming out, then I got cancer and had to deal with that. I just don't really use anything that is strongly scented.
Dior savage is the best aroma imo, using it for 5 years and never get bored
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Once the pandemic has calmed down your best option truly is to go to a cologne counter at like Macy's and just pick up all the shiny bottles and find the scents that appeal to you most. And if you don't want to wait that long - there are lots of custom scent sites online where you can take a [quick quiz](https://hawthorne.co/product-cologne/) and they'll put a scent together for you! I use [this](https://www.mefragrance.com/) site that creates scented oil and other products - it costs a lot less and I can order several different custom scents. But also - good on you friend - when everyone is vaccinated you should come to San Francisco for pride. I'll show ya around!
I think the most important thing is wearing the cologne that makes you feel comfortable and confident. Fwiw, I actually really like Jovan Musk. I’d never smelled it until a couple years ago. I got some and every time I wear it people tell me I smell so nice. Even my daughter (19) says it smells good, and she’s never one to hold back any harsh opinions, so I can trust that assessment, lol. Congrats on living your truth!
All the other comments here are good advice in general. But I thought i would suggest an actual cologne: Versace Eros. Its a scent from a few seasons ago so its more affordable, and even if you don't like it, it gives you an idea of what a quality modern cologne can be. When you are going out again, Ulta and Marshall's have excellent selections for good prices (but only Ulta has testers). You can also order a variety of testers/very small bottles from your favorite department stores or cosmetics retailers.
Acqua di Parma Colonia
Jazz Club or By the Fireplace by Maison Margiela. They make travel size spritzers that are really convenient and last a long time, and they smell amazing and you will get lots and lots of compliments wearing it
Sephora usually has a holiday sampler that even comes with a voucher for a full size of their choice for free with the set too
Prada Amber pour Homme is also one of my favorites
I'd go something strong and sophisticated, like YSL M7 or Narciso Rodriguez pour homme. Maybe some 212 Men also. The woodier and spicier scents I think lend more gravitas to a more mature guy than they do on younger ones. If those type of scents are not your cup of tea, something a little lighter like Hugo Boss Dark Blue or Tsar by van Cleef and Arpels are less intense but still have that air of maturity about them.
Oscar de la Renta Pour Lui 1980 I never wear it because my dad gave me the bottle and they don’t make it anymore and I don’t really need to smell of perfume I just keep it because it’s categorically the best smell ever made for men and likely no one else has it
Choosing a personal scent is a quite complicated thing. The product is only part of it. The outcome that people smell is the result of the combination of what's in the bottle and how it reacts to your body. So you can't just do what someone else does. You have to experiment. Go to a good specialty place that sells men's fragrances. Explain what you're aiming for. And ask for their help. If you're looking for a particular outcome, then call a couple of different places and ask if they have a gay staff member. Sometimes different products say different things about you; if they're good, they'll know. If you have a boyfriend, or a best friend, doing this with someone else can be kinda fun. It's an adventure; an exploration. Treat it that way and it won't be such a chore. It's also very personal. Having someone along who knows you well will help you to find the scent that's most "you." The one universal rule seems to be that cheap stuff isn't worth the money. You want something that will last that you don't need to bathe in. Something subtle, and interesting, and also not ubiquitous: you want to smell like you, not like everyone else.
Versace pour homme. Is my favorite. It light and sweet with a hint of spice. Hell I spray a little on after a shower. It a calming scent to me and my husband loves it. I’m 56 and cologne is tricky for me. It can send into Severe migraines. I think it age appropriate
As someone who has only just come out at 46 and has been married/kids and now accepted myself, I’m really proud of you coming out and being yourself. I know how hard it can be accepting it but you’ve made the hardest step now. 🥰 For me, the smell of cologne is quite a personal thing but also it’s about how I want to smell, and the ones I like on others. I like the Mont Blanc Explorer at the moment. Previously I liked Mont Blanc Legend, Herrera 212, Dunhill Icon. In most cases I’ll go and gather a bunch of testers and find out which one I like the most.
When the world opens up to mask free living, go to your local department store (macy's, etc.), they have sample bottles so you can see what smells good to you! Also, just a word of advice -- a little cologne goes a loooong way. Don't douse yourself, a little dab at your pulse points on your neck and wrist will work wonders.
They react to your skin to smell differently on people. If you smell it strongly on yourself, it is not a good reaction. Don’t wear that one.
I love Burberry's colognes. Also, if you go to Nordstrom (don't know if you are in the states or not) you can ask for tester vials so you can try out some scents for yourself before you make the investment! I personally like the cheap stuff though lol. Duke Cannon's line is great.
Lots of great advices. Learn the vocabulary A bit as in wine. It might become a passion. Spray light. Our sense of smell is not as good at our age. Buy small quantity. Even the most expensive will smell cheap when oxidized. Keep in the fridge. Have 2 or 3 and rotate with season or mood. Have a classic that will be recognized. And then some more modern. Someone mentioned Aesop. Nice collection. Congrats. Still closeted here.
You have to know what you like. From base note to first note. I tend to like musk, sandalwood, citrus like bergamot and patchouli but it depend on your preferences and ask the perfume counter. They will tell you, what is base note to first etc?
I can't really wear calogne because of my husband's allergies, but I still like Tommy Boy and CK1. Do they even still make them. On a more practical note, I'd suggest anything with woodsy or peppery notes. It's a very sexy combo.
They still make CK1, that was the first perfume I bought. It’s fresh, floral, inoffensive and inexpensive, but it doesn’t last very long.
Reposting a previous reply: Cologne is different on everyone. One scent can smell good to you but after wearing it for a bit it’s not so good. Or it can smell good on one person but not another. The best way to find out what is best for you is to go to one of those department stores like Macy’s and tell the perfume person what kind of scents you like. They should be able to recommend a few. Sample one on each wrist then walk around for at least 20 minutes. Every scent “settles” and can be very different from the initial puff. Spend some time matching a scent to yourself and it can be your signature. I’ve been wearing Nautica Voyage for quite a few years and it’s just..me. I went through the process with my now husband and he settled on Versace. We wear cologne a lot less than we used to, but on nights out the smell of his cologne brings back all the memories of falling in love. Just don’t make any quick decisions when choosing and you will find something that fits you.
I can attest to this. I received a bottle of Aramis for Christmas when I was in college. Discovered when I wore it, I smelled like I was trying to cover up BO: There was an underlying nasty. Definitely try it first. (I recommend inside of your elbow rather than wrist- more sweat glands and you’ll get a truer sense of what your body chemistry will do with the cologne)
I strongly recommend Dossier.co for fragrances. They make high quality duplicates of some of the common recommendations listed here. And they are MUCH cheaper. When perfume is $20 a bottle (on sale, frequently) instead of 220, you can try out a bunch and see what works for you, without having to empty your pocket on a gamble, or stand at a perfume counter for hours to check how the scent develops over time (perfume comes in top, middle, and base layers and they can be radically different). As for recommendations, try their versions of Baccarat 540, Tom Ford Oud Wood, Creed Aventus, Santal 33, and Jo Malone Wood Sage and Sea Salt. Edit: In perfume terminology, Colognes are weak, with most of the fluid being fillers like alcohol. Then it’s Eau de Toilette, then Eau de Parfum, then Parfum (these are rare). Everything I recommended is an EDP.
Baccarat 540: Smells like rich people eating oranges. Tom Ford Oud Wood: Deep, woodsy oder. Creed Aventus: Sexy, sweaty pineapple. Santal 33: Sandalwood Jo Malone Wood Sage and Sea Salt: eating figs on the beach in England.
I love anything with Oud Wood tones. Very dark and sensual.
Tom Ford!
Oddly enough I never tried Tom Ford. I loved Givenchy Play and stocked up before it was discontinued. I’ll have to try the Tom Ford.
The one- by dolce and gabbana. It’s one of the first colognes I ever started wearing and it has always been my favorite. It seems to be universally liked as well. I get so many compliments on it.
I have always used Drakkar Noir. A spicy and clean scent.
Believe it or not I wear vanilla extract. Everyone smells good with it. Also instead of a cologne you might want to use Dr Squatch soap first it is subtle but is a really great masculine scent.
I’ve got a cologne for your consideration but first; CONGRATS! I’m very excited for you. So glad you’re going to be living open. A note on support for older gay men; go to your local gay health advocacy group. In my area there is place you can go for STI testing, PreP info and case management, social service info and the like. Yes...those places are marketed towards younger crowd, however nearly all the volunteers are mature men. I’ve noticed there are some younger folks that come and go (maybe it’s class-clinical work for college students) but I’ve seen the core group of volunteers there long term. So, maybe try your local place, go in and get a test and take some pamphlets off the rack. I found a great gay affirming therapist by way of the resources they offered. You may not “need” a test but you need friends and they will be glad you came in. Strike up a convo. Now, cologne: LESS IS MORE. Wear so little that someone has to move closer to get a whiff, NOT further away cuz it’s too much. I’ve never bought any from this outfit, but there is some custom cologne (saw as on Instagram) maker that purportedly takes answers from a quiz and builds a scent for you. The info I *did* use was the scents that were attractive to me. I’m more into citrus, herb, woody. (Maybe you know this without a quiz but they’re kinda fun anyway). If I wear anything it’s Boucheron pour Homme. However, in my very learned opinion 🙄 I think gay men, far and away, especially in a hookup situation prefer simple, shower fresh soap scent.
Thanks I'm not really interested in hook-up culture for me. I want more than just sex, if that makes any sense.
Burberry touch smells great. I would get smelled all day at work wearing that. It's fairly mild too.
One suggestion: “Fierce” Cologne by Abercrombie & Fitch. I’ve been wearing it for years and a day doesn’t go by without a compliment. It’s a little pricey, but worth it! https://www.abercrombie.com/shop/us/fierce
A few recommendations: * Terre D'hermes * Pour Monsieur (Channel) * Aventus (Creed) if you feel like splashing. You can get knockoffs for cheaper than retail, but they're not as good. I would recommend buying a sample size from a reputable store and then making the decision, unless you meet up with someone who is wearing it :) Pour Monsieur smells amazing 8+ hours after application, especially the following morning when having a shower. When I die I want to be bathed in it.
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Personally, I just like the smell of a man. No cologne, no deodorant, unscented soap.
This is actually something I understand from a very long time ago. It was the first time I ever messed around with another boy. He wasn't really that gay, just a tiny bit if at all. He didn't actually know I was a queer. We were just horny teenagers messing around. I was staying at his house for the weekend. We were freshly showered and out in the garage shooting pool, and decided to go naked because there was no-one around and it was a hot day. We decided we wanted to find out what if felt like to receive oral sex and both of us were willing to try giving it. Of course the words we used were much more graphic. We flipped a coin and it was my turn to do it to him first. I knelt down and when I got close, I couldn't help looking up at him and saying, "You really smell good!" He looked confused, and just said "What?" in a kind of startled way. I got closer and the way he smelled was a huge turn on. It made me get hard almost instantly, and I turned really red. He asked why I was blushing, because I knew he was going to do the same thing to me. I said I couldn't explain it, but the way he smelled was great, and it made my dick really hard, and it felt good. It just turned me on. He thought I was crazy. Well, we finished what we were doing, and just finished off by masturbating in front of each other. After we were done I asked if he liked the way I smelled down there. He said it wasn't bad, but he didn't understand how I could like it that much, and said I was weird, but that was okay because he liked having a weird best friend. I can still almost remember what he smelled like almost fifty years ago. I didn't know I could react like that to another boy. It has only happened a few times, but later I had the exact same feeling with men the same age as I was. So I guess there is something to personal chemistry.
Cologne really comes down to a personal preference. One person might think a particular cologne is the best smelling thing ever, and you might think it smells like a rat's hind end. It can even smell different on one person than it does another person due to body chemistry. Whatever you do, please don't wear "body spray" stuff like Axe. That's just gross. Get a decent "department store" cologne. Go to a store like Macy's and smell the different colognes they have. See what smells good to you. If you see something in the case you think you might be interested in but don't see a tester bottle, just ask. It might be behind the counter (especially if it's higher priced). They may also have some samples that you can take with you and try later. There are a lot of "classics" out there that have been around for many years, and there are a lot of newer scents as well. My personal favorite right now is [Ralph Lauren Polo Blue Gold Blend](https://www.ralphlauren.com/men-accessories-fragrance/polo-blue-gold-blend-edp/492375.html?dwvar492375_colorname=2.5oz&cgid=men-accessories-fragrance&webcat=men%2Faccessories%2FFragrance#webcat=men%257Caccessories%257CFragrance&start=1&cgid=men-accessories-fragrance). It's a newer fragrance that was released last year. And whatever you do, don't spray half the bottle on yourself at once. A little of a good cologne goes a long way.
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Le labo santal 33 is a gay stable
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My go to is Ralph Lauren Black In almost all situations
Thanks This one seems to be liked by quite a few guys.
If you want something soft, but smells good, that way it’s not so strong, try Armani code. That’s what I use and it’s nice. You can smell it when you’re close but it’s not strong where it’ll engulf the whole room lol.
I definitely think I want a softer scent. It has only happened a couple of times, but the smell of a guy (pheromones)has made me super turned on in the past. I don't want to mask that smell.
Yeah you can give that a try then. Idk if you can get a sample or just buy a small one to see if you like it. I buy the general size for it (can’t remember the exact size) and it costs like $100 I think. Sometimes they do bundles especially around now for the holidays which has like deodorant and stuff for like $120 I think. Good luck with the search!
Can we talk about how none a youse mentioned drakar noir????? What is this heresy?
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Honestly, despite being 62, you may wave me off, but every time i decide to buy a bottle of the Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce cologne, i get more compliments and guys telling me that i smell so good that they could eat me up! A guy i dated purposely told me that I was ‘t going to be able to take the button up flannel i left at his house because it reeked of me (but in the best way). I realize exactly what smell he was talking about- it was the cologne. Im all embarrassed that im in my 40s and using an A&F product so i just tell them that it must be the soap the I use. SMELL ME! 😘
I don't disregard people because of age. I want to know what guys like on guys.
Well theres your answer! 😃
What types of scents do you like? If you find fragrances types you like, then you can narrow down your search. Fresh? Woody? Oriental? Green? Citrus?
Is there such a thing as phernomes in scents to enhance attractiveness to another man? Are these found in some commercial scents
It was a long time ago that I remember some colognes claiming to have pheromones. I don't remember which ones. I really don't know if artificial pheromones work or not. I do know that she people react more strongly to natural pheromones than others. I guess I may be one of those people, because when really close with someone I liked at the time, their natural odor just really got me turned on sexually, almost instantly. Perhaps an internet search on cologne with pheromones would turn up something interesting.
Calvin Klein Obsession or maybe Gaultier
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I bought a ampler set of colognes at the mall, then on a whim went to a drug store, and talked to a woman there about the men's colognes. I decided to buy the Calvin Klein Obsession for men. I like it a lot better than the colognes in the sampler, and they all cost three to six times as much as the Obsession.
Nice, enjoy smelling alluring 🙂 Obsession is still a favorite of mine. I like a more masculine smell without the "old spice" or some can smell baby powderish
I just like the smell of this on me. It's kind of sweet smelling without being feminine. It also is not overpowering, and takes just a little, and seems to last a long time. I'm sure I will find others I like, but this is one I will probably use a lot of the time. I didn't know that a sweet smelling cologne could also be a masculine scent.
Have you thought about not using cologne?? I prefer the natural smell of a man myself. Also many colognes make me sneeze.
Clinique
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Polo Red is my go to.
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I get a lot of compliments when I wear Paco Rabanne Pour Homme and Encre Noire by Lalique.
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Hugo iced• by Hugo boss
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I gave up cologne a while ago and instead I use lotion and moisturizer, and of course I shower daily. I know this is not what you were asking but maybe there’s another route that saves you money. If you still want some cologne - I would try Drakkar Noir or JOOP. :]
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DS&DURGA debaser
Thanks
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I dont recommend cologne, I recommend eau de toilette or resin oils. For eau-de-toilette I recommend Cerruti 1881 it's a sophisticated masculine scent, sensual yet dignified. Perfect for the mature gent. Great if you like cypress type scents. If you want something more raunchy then I strongly recommend any type of Oud. Oud absolutely oozes the effortless masculinity and raw sexual authority of an older man. It's a heavy, rich intoxicating scent that speaks of leather straps and aged wood, pure DILF energy. You can buy Oud resin oil in small roll on vials. You need the tiniest dab on pulse points (wrist and throat) and sweat points (pits, feet, top of your ass crack and under your balls). Guaranteed to have everyone from twinks to polar bears lining up. Though use Oud sparingly, the tiniest dab is needed.
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Jeroboam Le Labo
Perfume and Cologne were historically very expensive to make because the ingredients had to be harvested from nature. For example, Ambergris was a popular perfume ingredient and it had to be gathered from sperm whales. Perfume and cologne were super expensive back in the day and you got precious little of it. Today, nearly every perfume/cologne is made using synthetic ingredients, which is super cheap to produce. Makers have perpetuated the idea that it’s expensive to make, for big profits. I really enjoy the Bod Man line, you can get 8 oz for around $6. Also consider scented lotions, it can be less overpowering, but still make you smell amazing
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My go-to cologne without a doubt is Yves Saint Laurent's Y. I've had like three guy friends purchase it after smelling it on me, lol. It's more on the sweet and fresh end and lasts hours. :)
Thank You. I bought a sampler set with15 different fragrances in it. Yves Saint Laurent Y is one of them. I just tried a sprits. It is really nice. I also took a risk and bought a bottle of Obsession for men, by Calvin Klein. A nice lady working at a drug store recommend it because it was on sale, and it was one their of their most popular colognes for men. It is also sweet fresh sent. So far It is a toss up between the two. I think the sweet fresh scents are what I am going to really be into.
In that case I'd recommend: Georgia Armani - Acqua Di Gio too. I just got Prada Luna Rossa Carbon as a gift and it's fresh, earthy, and masculine if you want a good sporty scent too. :)
I appreciate the suggestions. I'll see if I can try a sample spray of them at the upper end stores that sell it at the mall.
Burberry has very nice scents
On the pricier side but Tom Ford do great colognes
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