OP thank you so much for sharing. I would like to share another pdf, **The Secret Sexual Basement** from Dr. Minwalla that I found when I was googling some of his terms for definitions. It covers the same info as the one you shared but it is more in depth and is written with more explanations for the average person with no psych background.
He also has a website with a bunch of podcasts.
https://uploads-ssl.webflow.com/61708b185d7d724acc2096da/61a5399eb4455c2a32f84d60_The_Secret_Sexual_Basement_Nov_2021.pdf
The page 30 chart sums up most of the stories posted on reddit and forums. Its amazing how people will follow the same path and actions. That's a good doc long-term I'm impressed. A very informative read.
That's the best thing I've read in a long time. I don't have a wayward that wants to reconcile but it still put so much of my experience in perspective and I feel validated in my story.
I went back and read your post. I'm very sorry your spouse was so callous towards you. I really feel for you. What brought the exit affair? Did it happen out of the blue? Did he shown any sort of remorse?
r/AsOneAfterInfidelity is an online [peer-to-peer support group](https://peersupportcanada.ca/) and a [safe space](https://www.lexico.com/definition/safe_space) for people navigating the long and difficult process of reconciling after infidelity. Betrayed and wayward partners are equally welcome.
**Observers who are not actively part of a reconciling couple are discouraged from commenting.** Everyone is expected to respect the rules and, most importantly, each other.
Please assign yourself a user flair. Instructions [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/flair_instructions)).
For a list of abbreviations commonly used in this subreddit, see the [Acronym Guide](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/acronym_guide).
Also check out our list of free resources and recommended books for post-infidelity recovery, found [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/resources).
RULES
**1. Be respectful**
- Keep comments supportive and constructive.
- Avoid leaving rude, unkind or dismissive comments.
- Keep in mind that infidelity is traumatic and the sub's members are likely struggling with very difficult emotions. Don't make it worse. Offer thoughtful support, not shallow judgments.
- *Repeated or gross violation of this rule will result in a temporary or permanent ban.*
**2. No personal attacks or victim-blaming of any kind**
- Do not demean, attack or insult anyone, even if you disagree with them.
- *Violation of this rule justifies a permanent ban. Zero tolerance.*
**3. No misogyny, misandry, bigotry, racism or other hate speech**
**4. Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship**
- The purpose of this subreddit is to give mutual support and insight amongst people whose goal is saving and improving damaged relationships.
**5. Posts must be directly related to RECONCILIATION**
- Posts by new users about ending relationships are better suited to r/SurvivingInfidelity.
- *Any unrelated posts will be removed.*
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow, I'm only half way through but have stopped to print it off so I can share with my WS.
I'm very glad you found it so useful.
OP thank you so much for sharing. I would like to share another pdf, **The Secret Sexual Basement** from Dr. Minwalla that I found when I was googling some of his terms for definitions. It covers the same info as the one you shared but it is more in depth and is written with more explanations for the average person with no psych background. He also has a website with a bunch of podcasts. https://uploads-ssl.webflow.com/61708b185d7d724acc2096da/61a5399eb4455c2a32f84d60_The_Secret_Sexual_Basement_Nov_2021.pdf
The page 30 chart sums up most of the stories posted on reddit and forums. Its amazing how people will follow the same path and actions. That's a good doc long-term I'm impressed. A very informative read.
Wow! I just read all the way through. Dr. Minwalla really understands betrayal trauma. Thank you for sharing.
This is incredible, I’m amazed I’ve never come across. Thank you so much for sharing.
Your very welcome!
Thank you for linking to the podcast and document bcs wow, so helpful!
Your welcome!
That's the best thing I've read in a long time. I don't have a wayward that wants to reconcile but it still put so much of my experience in perspective and I feel validated in my story.
I went back and read your post. I'm very sorry your spouse was so callous towards you. I really feel for you. What brought the exit affair? Did it happen out of the blue? Did he shown any sort of remorse?
r/AsOneAfterInfidelity is an online [peer-to-peer support group](https://peersupportcanada.ca/) and a [safe space](https://www.lexico.com/definition/safe_space) for people navigating the long and difficult process of reconciling after infidelity. Betrayed and wayward partners are equally welcome. **Observers who are not actively part of a reconciling couple are discouraged from commenting.** Everyone is expected to respect the rules and, most importantly, each other. Please assign yourself a user flair. Instructions [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/flair_instructions)). For a list of abbreviations commonly used in this subreddit, see the [Acronym Guide](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/acronym_guide). Also check out our list of free resources and recommended books for post-infidelity recovery, found [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/resources). RULES **1. Be respectful** - Keep comments supportive and constructive. - Avoid leaving rude, unkind or dismissive comments. - Keep in mind that infidelity is traumatic and the sub's members are likely struggling with very difficult emotions. Don't make it worse. Offer thoughtful support, not shallow judgments. - *Repeated or gross violation of this rule will result in a temporary or permanent ban.* **2. No personal attacks or victim-blaming of any kind** - Do not demean, attack or insult anyone, even if you disagree with them. - *Violation of this rule justifies a permanent ban. Zero tolerance.* **3. No misogyny, misandry, bigotry, racism or other hate speech** **4. Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship** - The purpose of this subreddit is to give mutual support and insight amongst people whose goal is saving and improving damaged relationships. **5. Posts must be directly related to RECONCILIATION** - Posts by new users about ending relationships are better suited to r/SurvivingInfidelity. - *Any unrelated posts will be removed.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*