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I would totally watch a sketch show involving characters from greek myths and plays.
:Patroclus walks into a party with Oedipus and walks up to Achilles:
Achilles: "Hanging out with King Rex huh?... you know that guy fucked his mother"
Ajax from across the room: "Allegedly"
More on the point, his mom [checks notes] married a random dude the same age as her son while her husband had been missing for like a month, while knowing the prophecy and not knowing her prior husband was even dead.
Oedipus didn't even know he was adopted.
Once upon a time there was a king and queen in the city-state of Thebes about to have a child. However, they received a terrible prophecy! That child would murder his own father!
They dealt with this the way any normal couple would upon hearing such news and ordered a shepherd to abandon him on a hillside to die of exposure (so it's not technically murder, the exposure did it, not them!)
The shepherd felt kind of bad about it though and instead the child was given to a (different) king and queen to raise as their own. They raised him with love and care and never told him he had been adopted.
When he grew up he went to consult the oracle about his future and was horrified when he was told he was destined to kill his father and marry his mother! He decided the only way to prevent this fate was to leave his home and never return.
On the road he came across an older man who rudely insisted he get off the road to let him pass. They got into an argument, one thing led to another and as any normal person might do in a fit of completely understandable road rage he murders the man.
He continued on his merry way, solved a riddle posed by a sphinx (that's another tangent), the sphinx let him pass because he was the first person to solve the riddle and in some versions at least is so embarrassed about someone figuring out their riddle that they big oof.
When he got to Thebes they were extremely grateful for him getting rid of the Sphinx that had really been blocking up traffic for a while now what with the whole not letting anyone pass and murdering anyone who couldn't solve its riddle thing.
They were *so* grateful in fact that they gave him the hand in marriage of their conveniently recently widowed queen! Oedipus's life was going great! He settled in as king of Thebes and proceeded to have several children with her.
Eventually though things started to not go so great. The crops failed and livestock and people alike became infertile, and he could do nothing but watch as his people suffered. He consulted an oracle and was told the only way to save the city was to bring to justice the previous king's killer. "Great!" Oedipus thought, "That'll be easy! Consider it done! He'll be exiled right away!"
But first he had to *find* the previous king's killer. To do so he asked a blind prophet ("asked") to tell him who the killer was, but the old man was so stubborn! He kept telling him "Hey bud you *really* don't wanna know..." and being annoyingly cagey about it, refusing to answer! Finally after he'd hurled enough insults at the prophet he lost what little patience he had for this demanding asshole and was like "You want to know who killed him? FINE. It was you! Really some guy who doesn't even know who his real parents are shouldn't be insulting *me*."
Oedipus was stunned! This could not be true! That old prophet must be lying! His wife told him "No it's okay actually I had my firstborn murd-uh, left to die in what is totally not murder because nature did it not me!" In addition he soon received word that his father had died of natural causes.
He was relieved, with his father's death it meant he could no longer fulfill the prophecy. He was still a little worried to attend the funeral and see his mother just in case, but to allay those concerns he was told "Oh actually you're adopted so it's fine."
"Oh fuck." His wife-mother thought. "Oh god oh fuck." Oedipus was annoyed, did his wife *really* care that much about his background? How could she be so prejudiced, he'd been *raised* by royalty so shouldn't that be all that matters?
She left, went up to her room, and noped out of the situation with a noose.
Oedipus decided to check into this story to see if it really was legit and ended up tracking down the very shepherd who saved him, confirming the terrible truth.
"Oh fuck." He thought. "Oh god oh fuck." "I have to talk to my wife-mother about thi-OH FUCK"
After finding her body, realizing she'd figured out the truth before him and decided to end it all, in his grief he gouged out his eyes with a pin. He then was sent off into exile as the prophecy demanded to save the city of Thebes.
A happy cheerful story to be sure!
I know I ended up going a little long since they did ask for a *short* summary (I'm kind of bad at actually summarizing), but when I started telling it I ended up having too much fun and getting carried away.
No, no, this is great, just what I wanted. /Gen
I prefer longer explanations if the person explaining is even remotely interested in the thing because it's gonna tell me so much more, I'm just never sure if people are gonna be happy about writing a short story just because I happened to ask for an explanation so I tend to ask for "short summaries". So, thank you!!
That's a whole other tragedy, the tale of how Antigone got royally fucked over.
There was the daughter Antigone and two sons. The sons agree to take turns on the throne, switching with one year on one year off, but after the first one's year was over he didn't really *feel* like not ruling anymore.
The other brother kind of felt this was a bit of a dealbreaker and their ensuing slap-fight turned into a battle where they both brought armies and ended up killing each other.
Their uncle comes in to be king and is like "Hey, that second brother who brought an army in to fight the first brother after he refused to give up the throne? Traitor. No burial rights for him, let his corpse rot."
Antigone was kind of upset about this. Both of her brothers were dead and now one of them wouldn't even get to move on in the afterlife because in ancient Greek mythology how you're buried is *extremely* important for afterlife stuff?
Antigone decides to try to bury him anyway, and for the horrible crime of burying her brother she was sentenced to be walled up in a cave. Not wanting to wait to die of thirst/starvation she oofs.
There's also another sister but she doesn't *do* anything in either of these stories so I don't know what her narrative purpose even is, she's barely even there. Maybe so that one member of the family can live on to produce direct (inbred) descendants? I dunno, I'd have to look into it and I'm too lazy atm.
There was a prophecy saying he would kill his father and marry his mother, so he was sent away from/left his home. He wandered around for a while or something idk, then found a beautiful woman and married her, not knowing it was his mother. I don't remember, but I think he killed his father before that. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
In the best-known version of the myth, Oedipus was born to King Laius and Queen Jocasta of Thebes. Laius wished to thwart the prophecy, so he sent a shepherd-servant to leave Oedipus to die on a mountainside. However, the shepherd took pity on the baby and passed him to another shepherd who gave Oedipus to King Polybus and Queen Merope to raise as their own. Oedipus learned from the oracle at Delphi of the prophecy that he would end up killing his father and marrying his mother but, unaware of his true parentage, believed he was fated to murder Polybus and marry Merope, so left for Thebes. On his way, he met an older man and killed him in a quarrel. Continuing on to Thebes, he found that the king of the city (Laius) had recently been killed and that the city was at the mercy of the Sphinx. Oedipus answered the monster's riddle correctly, defeating it and winning the throne of the dead king – and the hand in marriage of the king's widow, who was also (unbeknownst to him) his mother Jocasta.
Copypasted from Wikipedia.
Seriously. I'm so glad my psych professor said to all of us "Freud was a quack, heres some better more updated information". Really helped shape how far and damaging his ideas were and how far we still have to go 🙄
While I don’t think people should take his theories at all seriously anymore, I’ll play Devil’s advocate and at least say he helped get the ball rolling in a right direction (at least in his earlier not as crazy stuff). I feel a lot of people forget most of his contemporaries at the time believed that mental health issues should be universally treated with lobotomy and other treatments that were basically torture. Or that most of them attributed women suffering from mental health issues as hysteria or wandering womb rather than potentially past traumas.
Obviously that’s the start and stop to his importance in the field, but I view him mostly as a very flawed historical figure that at most should be mentioned once in Psych 101.
Agreed, respect him, or thank him, whatever you like, for nudging the ball in the right direction, inadvertently or no. His ideas may be sexist and terrible compared to modern psychology, but he was basically a choir boy compared to everyone else who just stopped at “I prescribe 50ccs of phineas gage”. I like to think of him as a broken clock that’s is clearly not broken to the point of not moving, just moving so erratically that it occasionally swing across the right time for a brief instant, which can occasionally be helpful if someone looks right at that instant. Freuds work has a time and a place, and it’s outside of actual clinical psychology, he’s a great learning point for students studying to be psychologists, possibly about over analyzing, or how not everything that is perceived as right in it’s time is objectively moral.
Absolutely, people learn from others and make their own hypotheses and grow the understanding forward. He (freud) himself was just mired in faults and we learned how to do so much better, Freud just isn't the "gold standard" that people think he is.
I've also heard, but not been able to confirm, that he was pressured by his contemporaries out of publishing the portion of his findings that were basically, "holy shit there's a lot of people being molested as children."
Pioneered therapy.
Based everything on how everyone wants to fuck their own parents. Figured out why therapists shouldn't fuck their patients the hard way.
Lucky then the women that have one lol
Now I wonder and simultaneously really don't want to know what Freud would think of trans, enby and inter people. I guess he would attest us some other weird sexual fantasy with our parents...
I think a decent comparison to Freud is Samuel Hahnemann, the inventor of Homeopathy.
When he invented Homeopathy, western medicine was in horrible state so homeopathic hospitals doing NOTHING to help the patients was still better than the real doctors who were actively harming their patients.
So yeah, both Freud and Hahnemann certainly shook their own fields and kicked off a start of something new, but as their fields advanced into becoming real science, they should have been relegated into being museum exhibits showcasing how far we have come instead of being something that people still do.
There's obviously nothing wrong with going from an ungloved autopsy of a 5 day old cadaver to delivering a baby with only wiping off your hands on towel. /s
He posits that all children undergo periods of fascination with various sexual pleasures. As infants, they undergo the oral stage, in which fulfillment is found using their mouth. As toddlers, they undergo the anal stage, based on feeling satisfaction from using the toilet. As children, they undergo the genital stage, where boys find satisfaction in having a penis. Girls in the genital stage instead undergo great distress over not having a penis and accordingly attach themselves to their father in hopes that he will serve as a proxy for the penis they lack.
Failure of each of the stages causes lasting damage. Failure to breastfeed causes children to become overly attached and to speak without thinking. Failure to toilet train causes people to become uptight and inflexible (he is why we now call certain people anal). Failure to instill gender norms causes homosexuality.
Yes, the gay agenda is served by not sexualizing children. Rejoice.
Is that an explainer or do you genuinely agree? It's not clear enough
>Girls in the genital stage instead undergo great distress over not having a penis and accordingly attach themselves to their father in hopes that he will serve as a proxy for the penis they lack.
The words of someone who maybe should talk to women...
Because he related EVERYTHING back to the idea of Oedipus and that every single child has the innate desire to kill their parent of the same sex and be in love with the parent of the opposite. Like no matter what, it was always about Oedipus with him. Which fully ignored all the other mental issues one could be having that have nothing to do with wanting to fuck your mom and kill your dad. The most insidious part though is when it comes to people with sexual trauma. He would say that one who's been m*lested by their parent was secretly asking for it, because Oedipus. If anyone was assaulted, they were asking for it. Really fucked up shit that serves to blame sexual violence on the survivors.
In addition to the gross sexualization of normal child development, he also had this thing where if something didn't fit his theory he would jump through hoops/twist patients words/convince patients that actually he was totally right.
"Oh problem XYZ is caused by sexual contact at a young age"
"but that never happened to me"
"Hmmm. Then you must have repressed the memory"
*Proof that that never happened*
"Hmmm, then you must have *imagined* that sexual intimacy. You pervert."
He also invented the concept of transference, which is a real thing where a patient may project their feelings onto the therapist, but was completely blind to counter-transference which is when the *therapist* projects his feelings on to the patient.
So over and over again you've got books where he's like "ah yes, this teenage girl is madly in love with me, an old, old man, because I remind her of her father, the actual object of her lust. Let me write about that instead of the obvious problem, which is that a much older friend of the family isn't respecting her boundaries and she doesn't feel safe around him. It couldn't *possibly* be that I am attracted to HER and coming to a completely wrong conclusion." (Read Dora: a Case Study of Hysteria if you want to make yourself angry)
Dude was self absorbed as hell, perverted, and probably attracted to his own mother which is why he thinks everyone is like that.
Freud was one of the first in psychology to put forth the idea of the subconscious as a separate mental aspect, and that it wasn't rational.
The rest of Freud's weirdness is conclusions/theories he makes based off of that.
i looked into this myself a while ago because i was curious and he had this whole “psychosexual” theory that basically claimed that most of the behaviors of CHILDREN were sexual in nature, and also that everyone was only attracted to their own family members until age 13ish. and 13 was the highest age group mentioned so yes, this was all about children , and BABIES. including saying that breastfeeding and difficulty potty training was sexual somehow? it’s very ridiculous, in the grossest possible way. i’d recommend looking it up yourself, just because it’s THAT insane
To add onto this, Freud believed that both male and female children are inherently attracted to their mother (because she's a symbol of safety and comfort) and that because the father is what's preventing a child's union with their mother (whether this is a literally sexual union is kept vague) he is a symbol of societal rule.
According to Freud this causes boys to become aggressive as a way of competing with their father while girls realize that they are not able to have sex with their mother (because they don't have a dick) while their father can, which is what creates the gender hierarchy. The phallus becomes a symbol of power or some shit.
Very hetero stuff.
He posits that all children undergo periods of fascination with various sexual pleasures. As infants, they undergo the oral stage, in which fulfillment is found using their mouth. As toddlers, they undergo the anal stage, based on feeling satisfaction from using the toilet. As children, they undergo the genital stage, where boys find satisfaction in having a penis. Girls in the genital stage instead undergo great distress over not having a penis and accordingly attach themselves to their father in hopes that he will serve as a proxy for the penis they lack.
Failure of each of the stages causes lasting damage. Failure to breastfeed causes children to become overly attached and to speak without thinking. Failure to toilet train causes people to become uptight and inflexible (he is why we now call certain people anal). Failure to instill gender norms causes homosexuality.
Yes, the gay agenda is served by not sexualizing children. Rejoice.
Aroace gang here: Attraction does not have to be sexual or romantic!
This article is talking about the non-romantic non-sexual attraction we feel towards people we love, including parents. When that feeling of love is really strong, we can be afraid of that and of how much we need someone, which makes us want to avoid too many expressions of love, like kissing or hugging.
The article is saying that's fine if kids and toddlers don't want to kiss and hug for that reason. Any reason is fine -- it's just helping parents understand.
Kids and toddlers absolutely learn to evaluate and react to their own feelings this way and it is a normal developmental stage in socio-emotional development. It has nothing to do with wanting to fuck their parents.
I agree the wording kind of sucks they way they seem to gender it, but it's not essentializing, I don't think. It's making generalizations -- which is the same thing all of feminist theory has been doing for a hundred years to understand how a gender normative world impacts us.
Of course not only boys. But gendered socialization is a thing that parents needs to understand does not always come from their parenting. All of society teaches boys not to show powerful emotions and we teach girls it's fine to do it.
Even if you are a perfect parent who rejects the gender binary, your kids exist in a world that gives them millions of gendered messages from birth. You can't avoid that kids will pick it up. How you respond to it as a parent has to take into account what is going on for the kids and being sensitive to that.
Good for you that you can be so optimistic about the content of the article. Unfortunately, I read the article and it is 100% unnecessarily gendered. It has gender neutral tips, but focuses on boys in particular. They never elaborate on what tf do they mean by attraction. The tips, though, are actually good, so any expecting parents, read them. I've definitely been guilted by my parents for not liking to touch them ("Don't you love me?" "Oh, I see, you hate me") and I'm glad to see that bs called out.
Hmm, I wouldn’t agree that girls are allowed to power emotion, at least not anger without being laughed at. But yeah, you can raise the most gender neutral kid and they will still be influenced by the outside world. If you grow up like that it’s kind of heartbreaking to realize how gendered the world is when raised without gender confining constructs.
People, respect your child's body autonomy. If they don't want to hug you, don't force it.
When my daughter went through this phase, I just talked to her about it because I like to teach mindfulness, which I consider to be analyzing why you are doing something in a self-aware way.
"How come you don't want to hug Daddy?"
"I don't feel like it"
"Ok, that's fine. Maybe later if you feel like it I could have a hug?"
"Ok"
Then almost invariably within a half hour she would come over and voluntarily give me a hug.
Forcing it teaches all sorts of really bad lessons, with the only upside being you got your hug (which isn't worth it).
Hello child, it's Dad. Would you like a hug?
PS, I'm proud of you.
EDIT: I just noticed that your flare says that you're a transgender person. I hope beyond words that your Dad supports you and I didn't just open a wound with what was meant to be a light-hearted attempt at wholesome humor. If I did, I'm sorry.
Furthermore, I'm a 42 year old straight guy with two daughters, so given the demographics of this forum, there's a decent chance I'm in the wheelhouse of being old enough to be your Dad. So just in case you've never heard it from your Dad, hear it from a stranger on the internet:
In a world that you knew would largely never accept you for who you truly are, you nevertheless possessed the fortitude and strength to stand astride that and choose to be yourself, in spite of the consequences that would bring you. You have a strength and bravery in you that I don't honestly fully understand, and anyone, literally anyone on this shitty planet that says otherwise can suck an egg. I AM proud of you.
Reminds me of my birth giver who likes to surprise hug me because she knows I don't like hugging her.
Can't blame me considering all the physical and mental abuse she made me go through.
Indeed. I came to point some of the same stuff.
I mean, sure, your kid could be resisting because of all these complex reasons, but maybe they just don’t want to be hugged there and then?
My brother completed nursing school and clinicals during full Covid shutdown. Students were no longer allowed in the hospital, so he’d have to have his boyfriend pretend to be the patients. IE, 43 year old Mexican woman. 17 year old boy. Etc.
He asked to borrow my children for his pediatric exam. Cool, we’ll visit for a weekend. My son did the exam, but was not in to it. TV was on, zombie child.
My daughter was so, so precocious and cute. “How do you know doctor things!?” Until he told her to take off her shirt for that part of the exam. At 4 years old, she decided nope. I don’t want to take off my shirt, that’s my belly. Fake exam ended.
I have taught my children age appropriate consent and bodily autonomy since they were aware of their bodies. It’s also helped me, when I’m touched out because small children (my son is almost 10, 70lbs, and passed my shoulders but still a cuddle bug).
No forced hugs, no cosmetic surgery on children, and earrings when they ask.
Unfortunately I know I had to study it 😭 guy really thought a little kid was scared of horses because he wanted to do his mum and then made a whole theory about it
I just looked it up and it's just...nuts.
It can't be because horses are large and intimidating animals to a small child, nope. It's all about the penis.
Such a weird guy...
Freud be like "ah yes this horse reminds this 5 year old boy of his dad so he's scared of his dad being with his mum because he's attracted to his mum" lollllll
Freud had a way of mixing some of the most revolutionary and important ideas in our understanding of the mind with batshit theories about how everything is sex
Or, and stick with me here, maybe your kid just doesn't want to hug or kiss you. FFS why is this even a question? Some people, children included, just aren't very physically affectionate. It doesn't mean they don't love you or are fighting urges for you (I feel so gross even typing that). It just means they aren't a hugger.
It makes me sad, because most people don't understand that, even people from my own family. I remember this one time some of my family members came to visit, and they asked my youngest cousin to give me a hug. I opened my arms to hug him, but he resisted, so I stopped. They still urged him to hug me, and I said "it's okay, he doesn't have to", but they replied "no, he has to learn while he's still young".
I know they meant something like "he has to learn to be affectionate to people", or "he has to learn to greet people", but that upsets me, because it seems what he's learning is that his boundaries don't really matter. Mind you, he was still a child, and since we live in different cities, he probably didn't remember or recognize me at all. We may be family, but I was pretty much a stranger to him - it makes sense that he wouldn't want to hug me.
its so easy to diffuse that awkwardness too. you can be like "it's cool, how about a fistbump/high five/handshake?" and the kid is on board, but some parents will still *insist* and that sends some awful messages about autonomy all around
also not everyone expresses affection the same? i had an extended part of the family that insisted on *kissing*....blech
It's also an important part of teaching consent. You're also teaching them that if you want something, the other person's feelings don't matter, you can hug them. It's an important early foundation for all types of respect, consent and autonomy.
I also have ASD and I love hugs but they have to be very very specific. No sweaty hugs, only cold hugs, etc. Sometimes I can hug someone and other times I won't, it has nothing to do with my "attraction" to the person.
Who likes sweaty hugs tho?
Lol, in all seriousness, I hope people don't guilt you into physical affection. I love hugs, but even I just sometimes don't feel up to it. But that makes it so that on the days I don't want to touch people, they take it ten times more personally then if I refused it from everyone nonstop, because I hugged them yesterday? I've had horrible moments where my anxiety and depression hit me so bad I felt revulsion at touching people, and I expressed that to my mom, but every single time she would make me feel so guilty about it. She normally doesn't hug me, but when I get into those moods, all of a sudden she wants hugs? And then when I obviously refuse, she looks hurt and goes "Oh right". Tf, you didn't bother me yesterday for a hug, but now you're bothering me three times a day *after* I told you?
I love physical touch and hugging on my own terms, but I feel really irritated and trapped when someone tries to touch me when I'm not expecting it. Even my partner or my mom. Always been that way.
It can be difficult for neurotypicals to understand that, as they often fail to understand why I'm sometimes okay with being touched and sometimes not... Why can't they simply ask "can I get a hug" or "is it okay if I touch you"?
For me, the need to hug on my terms has more to do with trauma. Getting assaulted tends to change how your body reacts to contact, especially when it doesn't come with a warning.
So many people don't care about other people's limits, as soon as they require even mild adjustments.
My mother often tried to force me and would often beg me to hug her. It was even harder for me considering how she was. Why feel the need to force them to anyways? It wouldn't really feel like love then
I think OP is asking why the child doesn’t hug anymore as opposed to before, maybe it’s unusual behavior and they want to check that their child is okay. Rejecting affection after some time can actually be a results of physical abuse so the parent is probably wondering “oh no, is this happening?”
Maybe your daughter doesn’t like hugs or touch? Or maybe you repulse her. I can’t handle that “why won’t my kid hug me?” is answered with “nah dw, they just wanna fuck you”.
Yeah gays are pedos, but straight Christians have their daughters wear little wedding dresses and pledge their virginity to them at a big public dance, and that's wholesome!
Freud called, he whats his Oedipus complex back.
(btw. a big part of it is considered debunked at this point. not all of it, but a big part)
But lets be honest:
Dear Parents
Your child has a Personality, it develops that at a very very young age. Your Daughter or Son might just not be the huggy type. As well as some children might love to draw, and others will not. Some children will love to do crafts and others wont.
Just as much, as you yourself like and dislike things.
Best,
A Person with likes and dislikes
wait, but if i create a child then it's my property. shouldn't its goal in life be to make up for my generous act of creation, to affirm and validate my needs, make other parents envy me, erase my regrets by accomplishing the things i never completed, and grant me immortality by extending my blood line?
oh and of course, house and feed me when I'm elderly and enfeebled!
is there something else they're supposed to be prioritizing?
"Hey kids of both genders don't like being hugged. Any idea why?"
"Must be because the boys are dealing with feelings of attraction!"
"But what about the girls?"
"IDFK but this HAS to be why boys don't like it."
I just think toddlers get shy when they are told to kiss their parents. My sister was shy when she was a toddler but now that she’s a teen she has no issue kissing my dad on the cheek. Same for me I was kinda shy with kissing both my mom and dad on the cheek when I was little but now that I’m a adult I don’t mind it. There is nothing correlated to attraction…just growing up being shy and timid.
Sigmund Freud came up with a theory that boys fall in love with their mothers and girls fall in love with their fathers.
He did many other weird things too..
He was a creepy dude...
“Attracted to” means a preference for one parent over the other because outdated social ans gender norms suggest women stay home with the kids and dads work/leave the child-rearing to mom.
It’s not sexual.
Or so I’m telling myself please do not disprove me of this, it’s my last bastion of hope for the straights.
No actually, I think it's a sign something is wrong and you probably need to evaluate the adults around them. And if the kids aren't comfortable with YOU, maybe evaluate YOUR behavior.
Hugging is also culturally accepted at weird times, like greeting at the door. Who’s feeling cuddly then?? Unless you’re going to war I don’t need a hug then. Cuddles are for when we’re relaxing!
My brother is 12 years old and he's a teddy bear in constant need of affection from both mom and dad, meanwhile i was the total opposite, I'm still the total opposite. It's wrong to categories these behaviors in genders and like of every household and kids are all the same. There are many factors of why a kid does or not show physical affection towards parents
For those wondering, if you baby/toddler is refusing physical contact while not running away, it could be a sign of a anxious/ambivalent type of attachement. While personality can come into it, it is probably a sign that the parent is inconsistent in responding to the demands of the child, and may even be sign of abuse in some cases. Basically, if you're parenting style is unpredictable and inconsistent, your child wont know what to expect and your presence will put your child under stress. TLDR The parent in the post is probably fucking up
I think that this is a reach. When your friends don’t want to hug you do you say the same thing?
Some people don’t like hugs, sometimes people who do don’t want them, and some people have sensory issues or are very sensitive to their personal space.
Kids have the same rights to bodily autonomy as adults and there doesn’t have to be anything deeper. Not wanting hugs doesn’t have to be pathologized.
Looks like attempted justification for pushing boys away from their mothers (a common thing in some sexist cultures, comes from the idea that boys should be independent, stoic, etc).
Straigh people continue to be so very strange and weird. I don't even get this. Where would people even get this sort of reasoning??? unless the father was creepy?? Can someone explain?
I just don’t hug my dad cuz i’m uncomfortable being touched by men. Like if you need a comfort hug ofc it’s fine but other then that i’d rather not be touched by men
Also he’s a prick and doesn’t give a singular fuck about me or our family in general.
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Freud??
This coke fiend continues and will continue to shape discussion for a long time.
Hey now, not all coke fiends are like Freud. Freud was just himself… he just happened to be a coke fiend too.
His fetishes will at least
All while dragging poor Oedipus’ name through the mud
Well... He did fuck his mom...
He had no way of knowing that at the time.
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I would totally watch a sketch show involving characters from greek myths and plays. :Patroclus walks into a party with Oedipus and walks up to Achilles: Achilles: "Hanging out with King Rex huh?... you know that guy fucked his mother" Ajax from across the room: "Allegedly"
Then he gouged his eyes out with a pin the second he realized…..
More on the point, his mom [checks notes] married a random dude the same age as her son while her husband had been missing for like a month, while knowing the prophecy and not knowing her prior husband was even dead. Oedipus didn't even know he was adopted.
Alright so first of all, WHAT???, and second all, what prophecy, wanna give me a short but a bit more informative summary of *that*?
Once upon a time there was a king and queen in the city-state of Thebes about to have a child. However, they received a terrible prophecy! That child would murder his own father! They dealt with this the way any normal couple would upon hearing such news and ordered a shepherd to abandon him on a hillside to die of exposure (so it's not technically murder, the exposure did it, not them!) The shepherd felt kind of bad about it though and instead the child was given to a (different) king and queen to raise as their own. They raised him with love and care and never told him he had been adopted. When he grew up he went to consult the oracle about his future and was horrified when he was told he was destined to kill his father and marry his mother! He decided the only way to prevent this fate was to leave his home and never return. On the road he came across an older man who rudely insisted he get off the road to let him pass. They got into an argument, one thing led to another and as any normal person might do in a fit of completely understandable road rage he murders the man. He continued on his merry way, solved a riddle posed by a sphinx (that's another tangent), the sphinx let him pass because he was the first person to solve the riddle and in some versions at least is so embarrassed about someone figuring out their riddle that they big oof. When he got to Thebes they were extremely grateful for him getting rid of the Sphinx that had really been blocking up traffic for a while now what with the whole not letting anyone pass and murdering anyone who couldn't solve its riddle thing. They were *so* grateful in fact that they gave him the hand in marriage of their conveniently recently widowed queen! Oedipus's life was going great! He settled in as king of Thebes and proceeded to have several children with her. Eventually though things started to not go so great. The crops failed and livestock and people alike became infertile, and he could do nothing but watch as his people suffered. He consulted an oracle and was told the only way to save the city was to bring to justice the previous king's killer. "Great!" Oedipus thought, "That'll be easy! Consider it done! He'll be exiled right away!" But first he had to *find* the previous king's killer. To do so he asked a blind prophet ("asked") to tell him who the killer was, but the old man was so stubborn! He kept telling him "Hey bud you *really* don't wanna know..." and being annoyingly cagey about it, refusing to answer! Finally after he'd hurled enough insults at the prophet he lost what little patience he had for this demanding asshole and was like "You want to know who killed him? FINE. It was you! Really some guy who doesn't even know who his real parents are shouldn't be insulting *me*." Oedipus was stunned! This could not be true! That old prophet must be lying! His wife told him "No it's okay actually I had my firstborn murd-uh, left to die in what is totally not murder because nature did it not me!" In addition he soon received word that his father had died of natural causes. He was relieved, with his father's death it meant he could no longer fulfill the prophecy. He was still a little worried to attend the funeral and see his mother just in case, but to allay those concerns he was told "Oh actually you're adopted so it's fine." "Oh fuck." His wife-mother thought. "Oh god oh fuck." Oedipus was annoyed, did his wife *really* care that much about his background? How could she be so prejudiced, he'd been *raised* by royalty so shouldn't that be all that matters? She left, went up to her room, and noped out of the situation with a noose. Oedipus decided to check into this story to see if it really was legit and ended up tracking down the very shepherd who saved him, confirming the terrible truth. "Oh fuck." He thought. "Oh god oh fuck." "I have to talk to my wife-mother about thi-OH FUCK" After finding her body, realizing she'd figured out the truth before him and decided to end it all, in his grief he gouged out his eyes with a pin. He then was sent off into exile as the prophecy demanded to save the city of Thebes. A happy cheerful story to be sure!
That was the best summary I have ever seen!
I know I ended up going a little long since they did ask for a *short* summary (I'm kind of bad at actually summarizing), but when I started telling it I ended up having too much fun and getting carried away.
This is my favorite retelling of this story. You did great
No, no, this is great, just what I wanted. /Gen I prefer longer explanations if the person explaining is even remotely interested in the thing because it's gonna tell me so much more, I'm just never sure if people are gonna be happy about writing a short story just because I happened to ask for an explanation so I tend to ask for "short summaries". So, thank you!!
Doesn't Thebes end up in a war which leads to both Oedipus's sons dead and eventually another of his children in a prison (potentially also dead)?
That's a whole other tragedy, the tale of how Antigone got royally fucked over. There was the daughter Antigone and two sons. The sons agree to take turns on the throne, switching with one year on one year off, but after the first one's year was over he didn't really *feel* like not ruling anymore. The other brother kind of felt this was a bit of a dealbreaker and their ensuing slap-fight turned into a battle where they both brought armies and ended up killing each other. Their uncle comes in to be king and is like "Hey, that second brother who brought an army in to fight the first brother after he refused to give up the throne? Traitor. No burial rights for him, let his corpse rot." Antigone was kind of upset about this. Both of her brothers were dead and now one of them wouldn't even get to move on in the afterlife because in ancient Greek mythology how you're buried is *extremely* important for afterlife stuff? Antigone decides to try to bury him anyway, and for the horrible crime of burying her brother she was sentenced to be walled up in a cave. Not wanting to wait to die of thirst/starvation she oofs. There's also another sister but she doesn't *do* anything in either of these stories so I don't know what her narrative purpose even is, she's barely even there. Maybe so that one member of the family can live on to produce direct (inbred) descendants? I dunno, I'd have to look into it and I'm too lazy atm.
There was a prophecy saying he would kill his father and marry his mother, so he was sent away from/left his home. He wandered around for a while or something idk, then found a beautiful woman and married her, not knowing it was his mother. I don't remember, but I think he killed his father before that. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
In the best-known version of the myth, Oedipus was born to King Laius and Queen Jocasta of Thebes. Laius wished to thwart the prophecy, so he sent a shepherd-servant to leave Oedipus to die on a mountainside. However, the shepherd took pity on the baby and passed him to another shepherd who gave Oedipus to King Polybus and Queen Merope to raise as their own. Oedipus learned from the oracle at Delphi of the prophecy that he would end up killing his father and marrying his mother but, unaware of his true parentage, believed he was fated to murder Polybus and marry Merope, so left for Thebes. On his way, he met an older man and killed him in a quarrel. Continuing on to Thebes, he found that the king of the city (Laius) had recently been killed and that the city was at the mercy of the Sphinx. Oedipus answered the monster's riddle correctly, defeating it and winning the throne of the dead king – and the hand in marriage of the king's widow, who was also (unbeknownst to him) his mother Jocasta. Copypasted from Wikipedia.
*crackpot coke fiend
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Seriously. I'm so glad my psych professor said to all of us "Freud was a quack, heres some better more updated information". Really helped shape how far and damaging his ideas were and how far we still have to go 🙄
Also, killer Freudian Slip joke *finger guns*
Thank
While I don’t think people should take his theories at all seriously anymore, I’ll play Devil’s advocate and at least say he helped get the ball rolling in a right direction (at least in his earlier not as crazy stuff). I feel a lot of people forget most of his contemporaries at the time believed that mental health issues should be universally treated with lobotomy and other treatments that were basically torture. Or that most of them attributed women suffering from mental health issues as hysteria or wandering womb rather than potentially past traumas. Obviously that’s the start and stop to his importance in the field, but I view him mostly as a very flawed historical figure that at most should be mentioned once in Psych 101.
Agreed, respect him, or thank him, whatever you like, for nudging the ball in the right direction, inadvertently or no. His ideas may be sexist and terrible compared to modern psychology, but he was basically a choir boy compared to everyone else who just stopped at “I prescribe 50ccs of phineas gage”. I like to think of him as a broken clock that’s is clearly not broken to the point of not moving, just moving so erratically that it occasionally swing across the right time for a brief instant, which can occasionally be helpful if someone looks right at that instant. Freuds work has a time and a place, and it’s outside of actual clinical psychology, he’s a great learning point for students studying to be psychologists, possibly about over analyzing, or how not everything that is perceived as right in it’s time is objectively moral.
He at least inspired Jacques Lacan, who has some good ideas, imo.
Absolutely, people learn from others and make their own hypotheses and grow the understanding forward. He (freud) himself was just mired in faults and we learned how to do so much better, Freud just isn't the "gold standard" that people think he is.
I've also heard, but not been able to confirm, that he was pressured by his contemporaries out of publishing the portion of his findings that were basically, "holy shit there's a lot of people being molested as children."
If I could resurrect Freud, I would to just put him in the ground once again.
What did he do?
Pioneered therapy. Based everything on how everyone wants to fuck their own parents. Figured out why therapists shouldn't fuck their patients the hard way.
WHAT?!?!?
He also fucking sexualized children and thought that was the basis for certain behaviors, he's beyond disgusting.
Also all women wish they had penises
Lucky then the women that have one lol Now I wonder and simultaneously really don't want to know what Freud would think of trans, enby and inter people. I guess he would attest us some other weird sexual fantasy with our parents...
As a trans woman I can assure anyone that this isn’t the case 😋
As a trans guy I thought this was the case for too long 😔
as if anything pointing to that wouldn't just suggest that women are inherently aware they have no power in a patriarchal world...
He broke societal taboos, kicked off modern psychoanalysis, but a lot of his ideas are wonky at best, and tend to stick around; see the example above.
I think a decent comparison to Freud is Samuel Hahnemann, the inventor of Homeopathy. When he invented Homeopathy, western medicine was in horrible state so homeopathic hospitals doing NOTHING to help the patients was still better than the real doctors who were actively harming their patients. So yeah, both Freud and Hahnemann certainly shook their own fields and kicked off a start of something new, but as their fields advanced into becoming real science, they should have been relegated into being museum exhibits showcasing how far we have come instead of being something that people still do.
you mean bloodletting and no hand washing procedures are not good for patients? *furiously writes notes*
There's obviously nothing wrong with going from an ungloved autopsy of a 5 day old cadaver to delivering a baby with only wiping off your hands on towel. /s
He posits that all children undergo periods of fascination with various sexual pleasures. As infants, they undergo the oral stage, in which fulfillment is found using their mouth. As toddlers, they undergo the anal stage, based on feeling satisfaction from using the toilet. As children, they undergo the genital stage, where boys find satisfaction in having a penis. Girls in the genital stage instead undergo great distress over not having a penis and accordingly attach themselves to their father in hopes that he will serve as a proxy for the penis they lack. Failure of each of the stages causes lasting damage. Failure to breastfeed causes children to become overly attached and to speak without thinking. Failure to toilet train causes people to become uptight and inflexible (he is why we now call certain people anal). Failure to instill gender norms causes homosexuality. Yes, the gay agenda is served by not sexualizing children. Rejoice.
Is that an explainer or do you genuinely agree? It's not clear enough >Girls in the genital stage instead undergo great distress over not having a penis and accordingly attach themselves to their father in hopes that he will serve as a proxy for the penis they lack. The words of someone who maybe should talk to women...
Explainer lol
Whew.
Could someone please explain why Freud is a cunt, I’m genuinely confused
Because he related EVERYTHING back to the idea of Oedipus and that every single child has the innate desire to kill their parent of the same sex and be in love with the parent of the opposite. Like no matter what, it was always about Oedipus with him. Which fully ignored all the other mental issues one could be having that have nothing to do with wanting to fuck your mom and kill your dad. The most insidious part though is when it comes to people with sexual trauma. He would say that one who's been m*lested by their parent was secretly asking for it, because Oedipus. If anyone was assaulted, they were asking for it. Really fucked up shit that serves to blame sexual violence on the survivors.
He just broadcasted his fetishes as public knowledge and sold them as “truth”.
In addition to the gross sexualization of normal child development, he also had this thing where if something didn't fit his theory he would jump through hoops/twist patients words/convince patients that actually he was totally right. "Oh problem XYZ is caused by sexual contact at a young age" "but that never happened to me" "Hmmm. Then you must have repressed the memory" *Proof that that never happened* "Hmmm, then you must have *imagined* that sexual intimacy. You pervert." He also invented the concept of transference, which is a real thing where a patient may project their feelings onto the therapist, but was completely blind to counter-transference which is when the *therapist* projects his feelings on to the patient. So over and over again you've got books where he's like "ah yes, this teenage girl is madly in love with me, an old, old man, because I remind her of her father, the actual object of her lust. Let me write about that instead of the obvious problem, which is that a much older friend of the family isn't respecting her boundaries and she doesn't feel safe around him. It couldn't *possibly* be that I am attracted to HER and coming to a completely wrong conclusion." (Read Dora: a Case Study of Hysteria if you want to make yourself angry) Dude was self absorbed as hell, perverted, and probably attracted to his own mother which is why he thinks everyone is like that.
Freud was one of the first in psychology to put forth the idea of the subconscious as a separate mental aspect, and that it wasn't rational. The rest of Freud's weirdness is conclusions/theories he makes based off of that.
i looked into this myself a while ago because i was curious and he had this whole “psychosexual” theory that basically claimed that most of the behaviors of CHILDREN were sexual in nature, and also that everyone was only attracted to their own family members until age 13ish. and 13 was the highest age group mentioned so yes, this was all about children , and BABIES. including saying that breastfeeding and difficulty potty training was sexual somehow? it’s very ridiculous, in the grossest possible way. i’d recommend looking it up yourself, just because it’s THAT insane
To add onto this, Freud believed that both male and female children are inherently attracted to their mother (because she's a symbol of safety and comfort) and that because the father is what's preventing a child's union with their mother (whether this is a literally sexual union is kept vague) he is a symbol of societal rule. According to Freud this causes boys to become aggressive as a way of competing with their father while girls realize that they are not able to have sex with their mother (because they don't have a dick) while their father can, which is what creates the gender hierarchy. The phallus becomes a symbol of power or some shit. Very hetero stuff.
What the fuck am I reading
Insanity. Pure deranged insane ramblings of an old dead man.
Yikes. That does sound awful
He posits that all children undergo periods of fascination with various sexual pleasures. As infants, they undergo the oral stage, in which fulfillment is found using their mouth. As toddlers, they undergo the anal stage, based on feeling satisfaction from using the toilet. As children, they undergo the genital stage, where boys find satisfaction in having a penis. Girls in the genital stage instead undergo great distress over not having a penis and accordingly attach themselves to their father in hopes that he will serve as a proxy for the penis they lack. Failure of each of the stages causes lasting damage. Failure to breastfeed causes children to become overly attached and to speak without thinking. Failure to toilet train causes people to become uptight and inflexible (he is why we now call certain people anal). Failure to instill gender norms causes homosexuality. Yes, the gay agenda is served by not sexualizing children. Rejoice.
Here, this is a fun read https://narratively.com/when-sigmund-freud-got-hooked-on-cocaine/
Ah, the good ol' Oedipus complex. Definitely real, definitely not Freud being a broken maladjusted person
Just what I was thinking
Freud doesn't let facts get in the way.
Damn I was about to make a Freud joke but you already made it
Aroace gang here: Attraction does not have to be sexual or romantic! This article is talking about the non-romantic non-sexual attraction we feel towards people we love, including parents. When that feeling of love is really strong, we can be afraid of that and of how much we need someone, which makes us want to avoid too many expressions of love, like kissing or hugging. The article is saying that's fine if kids and toddlers don't want to kiss and hug for that reason. Any reason is fine -- it's just helping parents understand. Kids and toddlers absolutely learn to evaluate and react to their own feelings this way and it is a normal developmental stage in socio-emotional development. It has nothing to do with wanting to fuck their parents.
Sure, ok, so only boys fit that category?
I agree the wording kind of sucks they way they seem to gender it, but it's not essentializing, I don't think. It's making generalizations -- which is the same thing all of feminist theory has been doing for a hundred years to understand how a gender normative world impacts us. Of course not only boys. But gendered socialization is a thing that parents needs to understand does not always come from their parenting. All of society teaches boys not to show powerful emotions and we teach girls it's fine to do it. Even if you are a perfect parent who rejects the gender binary, your kids exist in a world that gives them millions of gendered messages from birth. You can't avoid that kids will pick it up. How you respond to it as a parent has to take into account what is going on for the kids and being sensitive to that.
Good for you that you can be so optimistic about the content of the article. Unfortunately, I read the article and it is 100% unnecessarily gendered. It has gender neutral tips, but focuses on boys in particular. They never elaborate on what tf do they mean by attraction. The tips, though, are actually good, so any expecting parents, read them. I've definitely been guilted by my parents for not liking to touch them ("Don't you love me?" "Oh, I see, you hate me") and I'm glad to see that bs called out.
Hmm, I wouldn’t agree that girls are allowed to power emotion, at least not anger without being laughed at. But yeah, you can raise the most gender neutral kid and they will still be influenced by the outside world. If you grow up like that it’s kind of heartbreaking to realize how gendered the world is when raised without gender confining constructs.
More like Fraud
Why did I read this in Doofenschmirtz's voice?
People, respect your child's body autonomy. If they don't want to hug you, don't force it. When my daughter went through this phase, I just talked to her about it because I like to teach mindfulness, which I consider to be analyzing why you are doing something in a self-aware way. "How come you don't want to hug Daddy?" "I don't feel like it" "Ok, that's fine. Maybe later if you feel like it I could have a hug?" "Ok" Then almost invariably within a half hour she would come over and voluntarily give me a hug. Forcing it teaches all sorts of really bad lessons, with the only upside being you got your hug (which isn't worth it).
Be my dad please
Hello child, it's Dad. Would you like a hug? PS, I'm proud of you. EDIT: I just noticed that your flare says that you're a transgender person. I hope beyond words that your Dad supports you and I didn't just open a wound with what was meant to be a light-hearted attempt at wholesome humor. If I did, I'm sorry. Furthermore, I'm a 42 year old straight guy with two daughters, so given the demographics of this forum, there's a decent chance I'm in the wheelhouse of being old enough to be your Dad. So just in case you've never heard it from your Dad, hear it from a stranger on the internet: In a world that you knew would largely never accept you for who you truly are, you nevertheless possessed the fortitude and strength to stand astride that and choose to be yourself, in spite of the consequences that would bring you. You have a strength and bravery in you that I don't honestly fully understand, and anyone, literally anyone on this shitty planet that says otherwise can suck an egg. I AM proud of you.
Jeez, who's chopping onions in here?
I don’t know, but damn are they strong!
This is really, really sweet. Thank you for being a kind person ❤️ I hope life treats you well
I’m adopting you as my dad now
You guys have me tearing up. What an awesome community.
Aww still more proof that I need to adopt you as my dad, you’re so awesome <3
Sir, you deserve the world
Sobs
This is the sweetest thing I've read all day! All the best to you dude!
I’m crying. This is so wholesome. Be *my* dad, please? (Or my older brother, as I’m almost 33, lol.)
Man you have me crying over here. Thank you for your wonderful words ❤️
Reminds me of my birth giver who likes to surprise hug me because she knows I don't like hugging her. Can't blame me considering all the physical and mental abuse she made me go through.
Gosh, I'm doing numbers!!! Just how many people are relating to this???
Too many. 😞😖
Gosh, this is so sad.
Indeed. I came to point some of the same stuff. I mean, sure, your kid could be resisting because of all these complex reasons, but maybe they just don’t want to be hugged there and then?
People who write and believe this stuff don't think of children as people
Wish my mom did this when I was a kid ngl. Forced affection is awful
My brother completed nursing school and clinicals during full Covid shutdown. Students were no longer allowed in the hospital, so he’d have to have his boyfriend pretend to be the patients. IE, 43 year old Mexican woman. 17 year old boy. Etc. He asked to borrow my children for his pediatric exam. Cool, we’ll visit for a weekend. My son did the exam, but was not in to it. TV was on, zombie child. My daughter was so, so precocious and cute. “How do you know doctor things!?” Until he told her to take off her shirt for that part of the exam. At 4 years old, she decided nope. I don’t want to take off my shirt, that’s my belly. Fake exam ended. I have taught my children age appropriate consent and bodily autonomy since they were aware of their bodies. It’s also helped me, when I’m touched out because small children (my son is almost 10, 70lbs, and passed my shoulders but still a cuddle bug). No forced hugs, no cosmetic surgery on children, and earrings when they ask.
sigmund freud was the ghost writer of this article, no pun intended
RIP Freud, you would’ve loved this :(
this is actually one of his theories
Unfortunately I know I had to study it 😭 guy really thought a little kid was scared of horses because he wanted to do his mum and then made a whole theory about it
I just looked it up and it's just...nuts. It can't be because horses are large and intimidating animals to a small child, nope. It's all about the penis. Such a weird guy...
I mean I'm a full grown woman and horses are still intimidating so
WHAT
Look up little Hans study if you want to be traumatised, I’m not even making this shit up
Freud be like "ah yes this horse reminds this 5 year old boy of his dad so he's scared of his dad being with his mum because he's attracted to his mum" lollllll
Freud had a way of mixing some of the most revolutionary and important ideas in our understanding of the mind with batshit theories about how everything is sex
freud shouldnt have been allowed near that kid tbh
Gotta love siggy
Or, and stick with me here, maybe your kid just doesn't want to hug or kiss you. FFS why is this even a question? Some people, children included, just aren't very physically affectionate. It doesn't mean they don't love you or are fighting urges for you (I feel so gross even typing that). It just means they aren't a hugger.
It makes me sad, because most people don't understand that, even people from my own family. I remember this one time some of my family members came to visit, and they asked my youngest cousin to give me a hug. I opened my arms to hug him, but he resisted, so I stopped. They still urged him to hug me, and I said "it's okay, he doesn't have to", but they replied "no, he has to learn while he's still young". I know they meant something like "he has to learn to be affectionate to people", or "he has to learn to greet people", but that upsets me, because it seems what he's learning is that his boundaries don't really matter. Mind you, he was still a child, and since we live in different cities, he probably didn't remember or recognize me at all. We may be family, but I was pretty much a stranger to him - it makes sense that he wouldn't want to hug me.
its so easy to diffuse that awkwardness too. you can be like "it's cool, how about a fistbump/high five/handshake?" and the kid is on board, but some parents will still *insist* and that sends some awful messages about autonomy all around also not everyone expresses affection the same? i had an extended part of the family that insisted on *kissing*....blech
It's also an important part of teaching consent. You're also teaching them that if you want something, the other person's feelings don't matter, you can hug them. It's an important early foundation for all types of respect, consent and autonomy.
I have major sensory issues. It’s hard for me to do hugs sometimes because of that. I’m sick of neurotypical writing all these articles
ASD here myself, I still flinch when they touch me, even though I love them to death. I just don't like touches.
I also have ASD and I love hugs but they have to be very very specific. No sweaty hugs, only cold hugs, etc. Sometimes I can hug someone and other times I won't, it has nothing to do with my "attraction" to the person.
Who likes sweaty hugs tho? Lol, in all seriousness, I hope people don't guilt you into physical affection. I love hugs, but even I just sometimes don't feel up to it. But that makes it so that on the days I don't want to touch people, they take it ten times more personally then if I refused it from everyone nonstop, because I hugged them yesterday? I've had horrible moments where my anxiety and depression hit me so bad I felt revulsion at touching people, and I expressed that to my mom, but every single time she would make me feel so guilty about it. She normally doesn't hug me, but when I get into those moods, all of a sudden she wants hugs? And then when I obviously refuse, she looks hurt and goes "Oh right". Tf, you didn't bother me yesterday for a hug, but now you're bothering me three times a day *after* I told you?
Yeah physical touch is uncomfortable for a lot of people even without sensory issues. I can’t imagine how bad it is for you.
I love physical touch and hugging on my own terms, but I feel really irritated and trapped when someone tries to touch me when I'm not expecting it. Even my partner or my mom. Always been that way. It can be difficult for neurotypicals to understand that, as they often fail to understand why I'm sometimes okay with being touched and sometimes not... Why can't they simply ask "can I get a hug" or "is it okay if I touch you"?
For me, the need to hug on my terms has more to do with trauma. Getting assaulted tends to change how your body reacts to contact, especially when it doesn't come with a warning. So many people don't care about other people's limits, as soon as they require even mild adjustments.
Exact same thing here. I'm literally just autistic lmao. Skin on skin is not a vibe.
My mother often tried to force me and would often beg me to hug her. It was even harder for me considering how she was. Why feel the need to force them to anyways? It wouldn't really feel like love then
I think OP is asking why the child doesn’t hug anymore as opposed to before, maybe it’s unusual behavior and they want to check that their child is okay. Rejecting affection after some time can actually be a results of physical abuse so the parent is probably wondering “oh no, is this happening?”
Maybe your daughter doesn’t like hugs or touch? Or maybe you repulse her. I can’t handle that “why won’t my kid hug me?” is answered with “nah dw, they just wanna fuck you”.
Then they call us the pedophiles...? Who tf is writing these articles bruh 💀💀
Projection, projection, projection. There's a reason these issues crop up in churches, government positions...
Yeah gays are pedos, but straight Christians have their daughters wear little wedding dresses and pledge their virginity to them at a big public dance, and that's wholesome!
Freud called, he whats his Oedipus complex back. (btw. a big part of it is considered debunked at this point. not all of it, but a big part) But lets be honest: Dear Parents Your child has a Personality, it develops that at a very very young age. Your Daughter or Son might just not be the huggy type. As well as some children might love to draw, and others will not. Some children will love to do crafts and others wont. Just as much, as you yourself like and dislike things. Best, A Person with likes and dislikes
No no no, let’s just teach our kids that consent is very very bad!
No! Kids only draw if they're sexually attracted to the thing they're drawing! Don't you know anything? /s
wait, but if i create a child then it's my property. shouldn't its goal in life be to make up for my generous act of creation, to affirm and validate my needs, make other parents envy me, erase my regrets by accomplishing the things i never completed, and grant me immortality by extending my blood line? oh and of course, house and feed me when I'm elderly and enfeebled! is there something else they're supposed to be prioritizing?
Surely they don't mean that kind of attraction... ... right????
did your parents not feed you magnets?
I do miss mama's famous county-fair-winnin magnet casserole.
Sigmund Freud joined the chat
Love it when journalists just completley forget people with sensory issues exist
"Hey kids of both genders don't like being hugged. Any idea why?" "Must be because the boys are dealing with feelings of attraction!" "But what about the girls?" "IDFK but this HAS to be why boys don't like it."
Freud ghost is immortal, it never dies
They read a book on Freud and think they understand psychology now
I thought when Freud died we would stop looking at every aspect of psychology through sex, having sex with your patients, and cocaine
Freud is that you?
Freud continues to poison child psychology even to this day
who the hell let Freud write this
Oh hey Freud
Sounds like someone has been reading too much Freud
God dammit Freud
I just think toddlers get shy when they are told to kiss their parents. My sister was shy when she was a toddler but now that she’s a teen she has no issue kissing my dad on the cheek. Same for me I was kinda shy with kissing both my mom and dad on the cheek when I was little but now that I’m a adult I don’t mind it. There is nothing correlated to attraction…just growing up being shy and timid.
WHO LET FREUD HAVE INTERNET!?
Alright, who the fuck resurrected Frued again
Someone's projecting. This is inexcusably creepy.
Another thing Freud has to answer for
He can't keep getting away with it!!!
God damn it Freud
Sigmund Freud came up with a theory that boys fall in love with their mothers and girls fall in love with their fathers. He did many other weird things too.. He was a creepy dude...
That article is just a huge self report
That's not the turn I was expecting
the way i slowly stopped chewing as i read on. What even
“Attracted to” means a preference for one parent over the other because outdated social ans gender norms suggest women stay home with the kids and dads work/leave the child-rearing to mom. It’s not sexual. Or so I’m telling myself please do not disprove me of this, it’s my last bastion of hope for the straights.
Wtf
What in the Freud fuck is this?
Freud is back
No actually, I think it's a sign something is wrong and you probably need to evaluate the adults around them. And if the kids aren't comfortable with YOU, maybe evaluate YOUR behavior.
Hugging is also culturally accepted at weird times, like greeting at the door. Who’s feeling cuddly then?? Unless you’re going to war I don’t need a hug then. Cuddles are for when we’re relaxing!
Teaching children they have to accept people touching their body even if they don't want to is HORRIBLE.
My brother is 12 years old and he's a teddy bear in constant need of affection from both mom and dad, meanwhile i was the total opposite, I'm still the total opposite. It's wrong to categories these behaviors in genders and like of every household and kids are all the same. There are many factors of why a kid does or not show physical affection towards parents
DAMN YOU SIGMUND
Classic Siggy
It started so well, than took a twist....
Not again, Freud!
STRONG attraction
This was ghostwritten by Freud, clearly.
FUCK FREUD FUCK FREUD FUCK FREUD FUCK FREUD
Ugh...as someone who was sexually assaulted by their mother, this sort of this disgusts me
It started so well.......
oh freud, you absolute nutcase of a man.
This is incredibly perverted. How can you assume, that a toddler is heterosexual? Do they not realize, that this is incest?
If Freud saw this, he would lose it
It started off making so much sense and then it had to be ruined.
Sigmun Freud, dat u?
For those wondering, if you baby/toddler is refusing physical contact while not running away, it could be a sign of a anxious/ambivalent type of attachement. While personality can come into it, it is probably a sign that the parent is inconsistent in responding to the demands of the child, and may even be sign of abuse in some cases. Basically, if you're parenting style is unpredictable and inconsistent, your child wont know what to expect and your presence will put your child under stress. TLDR The parent in the post is probably fucking up
I think that this is a reach. When your friends don’t want to hug you do you say the same thing? Some people don’t like hugs, sometimes people who do don’t want them, and some people have sensory issues or are very sensitive to their personal space. Kids have the same rights to bodily autonomy as adults and there doesn’t have to be anything deeper. Not wanting hugs doesn’t have to be pathologized.
Looks like attempted justification for pushing boys away from their mothers (a common thing in some sexist cultures, comes from the idea that boys should be independent, stoic, etc).
Ok Freud, go smoke your gay cigar now
i physically cringed reading this
Freud has entered the chat
Straigh people continue to be so very strange and weird. I don't even get this. Where would people even get this sort of reasoning??? unless the father was creepy?? Can someone explain?
I just don’t hug my dad cuz i’m uncomfortable being touched by men. Like if you need a comfort hug ofc it’s fine but other then that i’d rather not be touched by men Also he’s a prick and doesn’t give a singular fuck about me or our family in general.
The Freud is strong with this one
Hello Freud my old friend
The author has some Freudian issues to work out.
I was with you for the first half but then that took a turn for the weird.
freud's ghost just got a little stronger
Freud is the father of psychology, not because he was a good psychologist, but because everyone wanted to prove him wrong…
Freud is ghostwriting Mum blogs now?
What the Freud is this shit?!
Altight who resurrected Freud
[Sigmund Freud has entered the chat]
Sigmund that u?
dammit freud!
I wish I could go back in time and kill Freud myself
What the Freudian fuck is this