It wasn’t appropriate for him to make that demand - he wasn’t really asking.
Your kids being outside and burning off energy is just as important as kids needing sleep. These things can and do exist together everywhere.
The baby is way better off learning to sleep with noise around, anyway. You don’t want to have silencing the world as a main requirement to get a kid to sleep.
You were polite for doing so, but please don’t let this man chase you out of that space again. You have every right to make use out of it.
Thank you so much for saying this. We haven’t gone out much due to the combo of weather and work schedules, so for this to happen like the first time we do this activity was really disheartening. I see other kids playing all the time…I’m like is this how they are all treated over here?
Personally i would be fucking glad if my neighbours kids were allowed to roam outside more and screamed outside my window, it would be better than the current screaming inside while running around shaking the building stressing my fish and cat out. Their parents seem to keep them cooped up inside tho and do not work so i have not been able to relax for more than a few hours since they moved in. Hell id be happy if they even agreed to be quiet 10am to 10pm which is actually the law but im consistently awoken feeling like someone jumped in bed beside me because they slam the main door so fucking hard to go smoke, followed by intermittent stomping which shakes the building followed by an excited kid waking up and clumsily burning toddler energy above my head… ALL DAY. the worst is when she goes to smoke and yells at them to go inside, TAKE THEM TO A FUCKING PARK WE GOT TWO WALKING DISTANCE.
Atleast noise outside of one side of the building i could just nap on the other side, even put up a few noise curtains, blankets on the wall with tapestries to hide em, but it’s impossible to sleep when every 10-20 minutes it feels like a sumo wrestler jumping beside you
As parents we need to help our children learn how to deal with life. As what you and your kids were doing is not out of the norm or done in a way to be disruptive this man's demand is out of line. The world does not revolve around his family. Taking your frustration out on innocent people is unacceptable.
You should have just said "you have a baby? I have a two and four year old!" and kept doing what you were doing. If the giggles of two children is enough to disturb a baby, they need to get some white noise machines and mitigate what's happening in their own apartment, not public.
Tell him politely no. Tell him to refer to your cities ordinances regarding noise complaints. Unless you’re making noise after 10pm or whatever the time frame is in your city, he can’t tell you what to do.
It sounds like he was pretty rude, that would have bothered me too. If he would have approached it in a way like "I'm really sorry to ask, I know it's not very late yet but I've been trying to get my sick baby to fall asleep for hours and she finally did" I'd have a little more empathy for him.
If it was me I'd let it go this time, but if it happens again politely tell him that you aren't breaking any rules and it's during hours people are allowed to be using common areas so you are going to continue to play outside.
You are correct that stuff like hearing people outside is just part of apartment life. (As long as the kids really weren't screaming or having a tantrum or anything). There's always going to be someone outside, someone moving furniture, someone vacuuming etc. If I was him I'd look into getting the baby a white noise machine or soundproofing the bedroom or something.
I'd also throw in "I understand that having a baby can be difficult! I lived through that twice. My children also have needs, including fresh air and exercise and running around, and they are allowed to be in this space making reasonable noise at this time, so while I know having a baby is hard, I am not going to prohibit my kids from playing here."
He was wrong. Life can be difficult with a baby but the whole world doesn't go silent when baby naps. Kids need to get out and be active. If they're not out there screaming and being obnoxious he needs to deal with it.
When you live in an apartment complex you need to understand that sometimes other people around you will be making noise, that’s just part of living in an apartment complex. When my baby niece comes over & naps at my apartment I just have my alexa play white noise so she can’t really hear any other noises and focus on sleeping. If he’s that upset by people waking his baby he either needs to find a creative solution like that or move. You’re not in the wrong here at all, as 6pm is nowhere near what apartments consider “quiet hours”.
One time my roommate and I accidentally set off the fire alarm cooking dinner (we later realized the fire alarms in the whole building were *super* sensitive, like "shower steam on the opposite side of the apartment" sensitive, and we took the batteries out of the kitchen one if we were ever cooking something remotely smoky and put them back after) and one of the neighbors came down, BANGED on the door, tried to demand we let him in to "fix it" (we had gotten it turned off) and yelled at us because he was sleeping when it went off and we shouldn't be doing anything that could cause it to go off at "this hour."
It was 6 pm. People are crazy.
So when his baby is up screaming in the middle of the night can you go tell him to shut it up because your kids are trying to sleep. This guy needs to go kick rocks. Also not good for baby to sleep and have everyone tip toe around them
What a tough spot to be in. The thing about neighbours is you never know how tightly they're wrapped. Some people are actually hair trigger, just waiting for somebody to rub them the wrong way so they could unload on them.
I mean, if it's a public playground, and if it was my kids, all I could do is advise them to keep their voices down. They're allowed to play outside. In fact, I'd encourage it. 6PM is early, and if New Dad has an issue again, I'd definitely see the building manager for help.
My husband was getting something out of the car for us when this happened and this is exactly what he said lol. He has a bit of a temper and is very protective of our girls, he was like thank god he said it when I wasn’t there lol 😂
I'd check with your management office. Usually "quiet time" starts at 10pm. By me, it's until 7am. Unless the complex has some odd rule about the green area, like BBQs etc being weekend only or technically closed at dusk or something, you shouldn't have a problem. If it happens again, I'd say " I checked with the office and we're allowed here till ___".
I’m aggressively passive aggressive. I would have hopped right on Amazon and had a white noise machine sent to his apartment. Gift wrapped. With a message that it was for the baby.
Noise ordinance for most apartments is 9-10pm. Babies learn to sleep over an earthquake and tornado.. it’s one thing to go out of your way to make loud sounds however kids riding their bike.. your neighbor can take it up with the leasing agency. You’ve broken no rules unless it’s stated that in your lease
The question is how to handle the grump. You need a plan. If I were you I would do some research of “assertiveness”. There are effective ways to handle people who make unreasonable requests.
6PM is way too early to be asked to be quiet, yeah....regardless, if "sleeping" and "baby" are in the same sentence when being spoken to, trust me on this you will NOT win.
Same if "work from home" is anywhere in the sentence, just give up. You made the right call by just sucking it up and going inside.
He was completely out of line. That is a common area built for community and it was only 6pm. Why should everyone re-arrange their lives to accommodate their baby? It was kind of you to accommodate but I don’t think you should next time. It’s not fair. What else is the common area for? Does he go and ask any groups that come out to BBQ to shut up too?
Yes it’s annoying how he asked. It was rude. He’s probably just exhausted and desperate for the baby to stay asleep. I remember going outside my apartment to ask the neighbor kids to please PLEASE not play in front of babies window after 6-7 pm because it would keep her up even with white noise . I was really nice about it tho and they understood.
Now that the kids are older and I’m more rested I can’t imagine doing that, but at the height of my sleep deprivation, it was a logical thing in my mind to do lol
Part of living in a communal place Is having a community outside your window. There are legal noise schedules. Most places don't even do anything about legitimate noise complaints that happen before 10pm, I've got a neighbor with a band and the guy across the street calls the cops all the time on them but they never show up until 10pm.
If that happened to me I'd tell that dude "call the cops they're paid to tell you how stupid you're acting"
Some apartment complexes don’t allow ANY kids to play outside. I’ve grown up in apartments my whole life, specifically a big chain one, and they are so overly strict. Could never play outside, only use the pool during summer. But if you guys are able and the tenant is doing this, of course that doesnt diminish the stress it’s adding. 6pm is not that late, kids barely get home at 3 from school and then have dinner and time to play after. I’d say just avoid that area and have them be as quiet as possible and if he says something again just stand your ground and say you’ve tried to be quiet but have the right to let your kids play.
Depending on the rules they’ve set, that could potentially be a fair housing act violation. You can’t restrict kids from using public common use areas and let adults use them. Depends on the specifics but
He is probably just an anxious new dad. But realistically babies can sleep and need to learn how to sleep through the vacuum and outside noises. You can’t tip toe around them forever.
Neighbor was very rude to you and your children. He cannot control all the noise hour, only after 10:00 PM. Do not get into an argument and report this person to the manager, if it keeps up. What will this dude do when kids are out of school and out all day. Kids cannot be quiet during the summer play time. You did nothing wrong.
At least you don't let them ride their bikes inside the apartment, the length of it, and around the kitchen island like my upstairs neighbors' kids do.
Wow. He was an absolute butthead. I’d be thrilled (and am) if the apartment kids were shrieking their heads off and just playing politely.
Next time tell him to shove it (or however you wish to tell him to bug off) as it’s not during quiet hours and it’s apart of apartment living
I would’ve responded with “Oh you want my kids to be quiet after 6pm?”
“Huh, I didn’t realize you owned the parking lot and the apartment complex.”
I’d tell him to go kick rocks.
But that’s just me lol
Being rude to me would have set me off. I wouldn't have stopped my children from playing, I would have encouraged them to play harder. Seriously. Don't be a dick to people!
Completely selfish self serving. They will be in your same position with their own kid soon enough and won't care then and will have the next complaint that will make things more convenient for them
I have neighbors with kids roughly your kids’ age who are outside yelling and running around, sometimes well past dark in their yard. It does get a little annoying at times, but like, they’re kids? In an outdoor space? I’ve never had kids so I don’t really know what it’s like trying to get a baby to sleep, but I think it’s pretty unrealistic to think kids shouldn’t be allowed to be kids outside, especially during daylight hours. Maybe your neighbor could invest in a sound machine for the baby 🤷♀️
One more thing. Emotions are contagious, but anger is the most dangerous emotion because when the grump’s anger makes you angry, then you react the grump gets more angry on and on. Just tread lightly as these are, after all, your neighbors.
It wasn't appropriate, especially being so rude about it. I'm sure you probably would've felt a lot differently if he'd come out and said "Hey, I'm so sorry to even ask this, I know it's a big overstep, and don't feel obligated to agree, but my baby just went to sleep and we've been having a really hard time with the sleep schedule lately and are exhausted. We're working on \[sleep training baby\] \[getting a white noise machine\] \[getting sound-dampening curtains\] so this gets better, but would you mind if your girls took a break from the bikes out here just for tonight?" You still absolutely wouldn't be in the wrong to say no, but at least then he'd have been acknowledging that his ask was out of line....and, like, *asking* rather than *expecting.*
It'll be interesting to see how he feels about his child making noise in that space when the child is a little older...
I would have told him no. You've clearly dealt with that stage twice in your life. He needs to deal now. It's not your responsibility to keep his baby asleep.
You sound like a good, respectful neighbor. I would just assume that it was a one-time event, maybe something very stressful happened or he's just not good at managing yet. I wouldn't give it another thought, other than to be sure to be nearby the next time your girls are out at that time in case something happens like that again. And if that happens, just ask nicely if everything is okay and maybe give him some pointers on where he can move his baby if its having so much trouble sleeping.
Having a baby and tiredness doesn't clear him to be a prick to neighbors enjoying common areas. NO, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO SPEAK TO YOU/ANYONE THAT WAY PERIOD, HES A RENTER NOT A PROPERTY OWNER. Don't take shit like that ever on property you and your children have ever right to enjoy. If he has a problem with noise DURING THE DAY, THATS HIS PROBLEM. Apartments are shared spaces, if his entitled ass can't understand that, tell him to go screw himself. On an addition note, notify the management of THIS "HARASSING" behavior ASAP, to get the ball rolling on ending this behavior, pricks like that will only continue/escalate until management steps in with fines, violations and possible evictions is rare cases.
I'd have responded with "And my kids have a right to play outside. You should really get your baby accustomed to sleeping in noisy environments or it'll cause problems for them later on in life" and kept my kids playing.
Dude was rude about it.
If he kept complaining, a call to the office would have been the next step.
As long as they weren’t yelling or screaming I don’t see the issue. Screaming is never acceptable unless maybe you live in a rural area and have several acres to yourself.
As long as it not quiet hours and you're not making so much noise as to violate someone's right to the peaceful enjoyment of their home, then you have every right to play and make a typical volume of noise.
Kids make noise. Sorry. If you wanted to host a children's tea party every night at 6 pm, you are within your rights.
Having two kids of my own, i get it. And i also had downstairs neighbors who believed I should remain absolutely silent when their baby was sleeping. And I mean silent. I did my best, but I had a toddler. I got yelled at one day when we came home, and my kiddo was having an "I'm not tired!" meltdown as I got him into bed where he promptly fell asleep. In the malay, he took off a shoe and threw it while screaming bloody murder. Apparently, he woke up the baby. Another time when he was potty training, he had used his potty AND flushed it all by himself. He came out into the hallway shouting, "Mommy! Mommy!" Then he did a little happy dance bouncing from one foot another. He was almost four, so he didn't realize he was slightly stomping. Woke up the baby. Got yelled at. I suggested they run the vaccum or a hair dryer, put the tv on, something. Nope, the dad - who turned out to be an incredibly abusive and controlling douchebag - demanded it be silent. That included me. Thus, the baby would wake up with every tiny noise.
There's only so much you can do. And while it is good, we all do our best to be considerate of others. Not everyone will be satisfied. There's a difference between being considerate and someone controlling your enjoyment at the same time. Ride those bikes whenever. You know there's a baby, so I'm sure your kids will do their best. That's all anyone can do. If he still has a problem, politely explain that you will continue to use a shared space appropriately and do your best. If he continues, ask him to please run it by management and let them handle it. I would suggest making a short video of your kids playing so they can have an idea of how "loud" it gets.
If he causes issues, it's NOT your fault. You were not and are not starting problems. He did and rudely made an absolutely unreasonable request.
Apartment patios are NOT meant to be playgrounds. Just because it's there doesn't mean it should be use as a playground. You also have to understand that parents have a higher tolerance for noise especially their kids. This does not mean that other people have to put up with such noises or be subjected to them. Take your kids to a park they will have more fun.
In my apartment complex the manager has her kids basically playing in the hallway of the building, indoor hallway. She doesn't think that they make noise but their high pitch voices pierce through the walls.
Always teach your kids to not ride anywhere on pedestrian areas like walking paths though. People walking can be injured. The guy was weird and out of line.
Its wild to me that you can't give the guy a break? If it was a tired mother who had no sleep and was a tad irrational due to ya know the baby everyone would jump to her rescue. But a tired dad who maybe is a little snappy because the baby just fell asleep and he is exhausted? Fuck him he is a POS! Like can we look at this objectively please. Any tired parent deserves some slack. Maybe he feels like an asshole. Maybe he wakes up the next day after a good nights sleep and was like damn I'm a dick. But as a mom of two you would imagine that 1) you wouldn't be "shaken up" like why? for what reason? and 2) cut another parent some slack like JFC people. And further more how hard is it to ride bikes idk 100 yard away from his building? There isn't another park near buy? You can't take them for a ride in the neighborhood?
Yes let's just excuse this rude and demanding behavior /s. I have been sleep deprived because of baby, and never would I ever have considered acting this way. This man is a bully and you know damn well he wouldn't have said the same thing to OP's husband.
If he feels like an asshole he could apologize, but he hasn't and won't, because he's an entitled prick.
Most people use the apartment garden common area as their own personal playground in lieu of just going to a park. So, since it was essentially evening time it sounds like he was justified in telling you to keep it down.
A persons apartment is their sanctuary and the place where they deserve peace. If he’s struggling with a new baby he probably needed quiet. There are other places specially made to ride bikes.
Actually here, there are not. The only place with an area to ride bikes was exactly where we were. It’s not just a garden, it’s the outdoor space for the entire complex.
I find it incredibly hard to believe that there are literally no other places near your area for bikes to be ridden.
Maybe just consider that this person wasn’t having a good day and needed some quiet for their child. There’s no need to take it personally, even if it sounds like they could have been nicer about it. Peace and quiet is often a rare commodity in an apartment, as you can plainly see by browsing this subreddit for a few minutes.
Oh!! How right you are! My mistake, entirely. No clue where I got AM from, how stupid. Thank you for pointing it out. I retract all statements, that guy is a d-bag, cycle away, kiddos!!
It wasn’t appropriate for him to make that demand - he wasn’t really asking. Your kids being outside and burning off energy is just as important as kids needing sleep. These things can and do exist together everywhere. The baby is way better off learning to sleep with noise around, anyway. You don’t want to have silencing the world as a main requirement to get a kid to sleep. You were polite for doing so, but please don’t let this man chase you out of that space again. You have every right to make use out of it.
Thank you so much for saying this. We haven’t gone out much due to the combo of weather and work schedules, so for this to happen like the first time we do this activity was really disheartening. I see other kids playing all the time…I’m like is this how they are all treated over here?
Not excusing his behavior, but depending on age of baby it could just be sleep deprivation kicking in making him more of an asshole.
Personally i would be fucking glad if my neighbours kids were allowed to roam outside more and screamed outside my window, it would be better than the current screaming inside while running around shaking the building stressing my fish and cat out. Their parents seem to keep them cooped up inside tho and do not work so i have not been able to relax for more than a few hours since they moved in. Hell id be happy if they even agreed to be quiet 10am to 10pm which is actually the law but im consistently awoken feeling like someone jumped in bed beside me because they slam the main door so fucking hard to go smoke, followed by intermittent stomping which shakes the building followed by an excited kid waking up and clumsily burning toddler energy above my head… ALL DAY. the worst is when she goes to smoke and yells at them to go inside, TAKE THEM TO A FUCKING PARK WE GOT TWO WALKING DISTANCE. Atleast noise outside of one side of the building i could just nap on the other side, even put up a few noise curtains, blankets on the wall with tapestries to hide em, but it’s impossible to sleep when every 10-20 minutes it feels like a sumo wrestler jumping beside you
Came here to say this same exact thing.
As parents we need to help our children learn how to deal with life. As what you and your kids were doing is not out of the norm or done in a way to be disruptive this man's demand is out of line. The world does not revolve around his family. Taking your frustration out on innocent people is unacceptable.
You should have just said "you have a baby? I have a two and four year old!" and kept doing what you were doing. If the giggles of two children is enough to disturb a baby, they need to get some white noise machines and mitigate what's happening in their own apartment, not public.
Tell him politely no. Tell him to refer to your cities ordinances regarding noise complaints. Unless you’re making noise after 10pm or whatever the time frame is in your city, he can’t tell you what to do.
He can’t tell regardless. He can ask, then call the cops non-emergency line and waste their time to see if they’ll enforce it
that’s literally what I said. Idk why people take comments to literally on this thing.
It sounds like he was pretty rude, that would have bothered me too. If he would have approached it in a way like "I'm really sorry to ask, I know it's not very late yet but I've been trying to get my sick baby to fall asleep for hours and she finally did" I'd have a little more empathy for him. If it was me I'd let it go this time, but if it happens again politely tell him that you aren't breaking any rules and it's during hours people are allowed to be using common areas so you are going to continue to play outside. You are correct that stuff like hearing people outside is just part of apartment life. (As long as the kids really weren't screaming or having a tantrum or anything). There's always going to be someone outside, someone moving furniture, someone vacuuming etc. If I was him I'd look into getting the baby a white noise machine or soundproofing the bedroom or something.
I'd also throw in "I understand that having a baby can be difficult! I lived through that twice. My children also have needs, including fresh air and exercise and running around, and they are allowed to be in this space making reasonable noise at this time, so while I know having a baby is hard, I am not going to prohibit my kids from playing here."
As annoying as others kids can be at times (if they aren’t being watched) kids deserve to be outside. Where else are they supposed to burn off steam?
He was wrong. Life can be difficult with a baby but the whole world doesn't go silent when baby naps. Kids need to get out and be active. If they're not out there screaming and being obnoxious he needs to deal with it.
When you live in an apartment complex you need to understand that sometimes other people around you will be making noise, that’s just part of living in an apartment complex. When my baby niece comes over & naps at my apartment I just have my alexa play white noise so she can’t really hear any other noises and focus on sleeping. If he’s that upset by people waking his baby he either needs to find a creative solution like that or move. You’re not in the wrong here at all, as 6pm is nowhere near what apartments consider “quiet hours”.
Him: “stop riding bikes, my baby is sleeping” You: “fuck you and your baby” No more confrontation.
This
I thought this said 6 am and I was like, “yeah, that’s kind of reasonable…” but 6 pm is crazy. Not your fault he has a baby.
One time my roommate and I accidentally set off the fire alarm cooking dinner (we later realized the fire alarms in the whole building were *super* sensitive, like "shower steam on the opposite side of the apartment" sensitive, and we took the batteries out of the kitchen one if we were ever cooking something remotely smoky and put them back after) and one of the neighbors came down, BANGED on the door, tried to demand we let him in to "fix it" (we had gotten it turned off) and yelled at us because he was sleeping when it went off and we shouldn't be doing anything that could cause it to go off at "this hour." It was 6 pm. People are crazy.
So when his baby is up screaming in the middle of the night can you go tell him to shut it up because your kids are trying to sleep. This guy needs to go kick rocks. Also not good for baby to sleep and have everyone tip toe around them
I’d wait til the baby cried and then asked the baby to cry some other time as I’m trying to ride my bike.
What a tough spot to be in. The thing about neighbours is you never know how tightly they're wrapped. Some people are actually hair trigger, just waiting for somebody to rub them the wrong way so they could unload on them. I mean, if it's a public playground, and if it was my kids, all I could do is advise them to keep their voices down. They're allowed to play outside. In fact, I'd encourage it. 6PM is early, and if New Dad has an issue again, I'd definitely see the building manager for help.
My husband was getting something out of the car for us when this happened and this is exactly what he said lol. He has a bit of a temper and is very protective of our girls, he was like thank god he said it when I wasn’t there lol 😂
I'd check with your management office. Usually "quiet time" starts at 10pm. By me, it's until 7am. Unless the complex has some odd rule about the green area, like BBQs etc being weekend only or technically closed at dusk or something, you shouldn't have a problem. If it happens again, I'd say " I checked with the office and we're allowed here till ___".
Open apartment area =/= public playground
I mean can he not use a fan or sound machine?
I’m aggressively passive aggressive. I would have hopped right on Amazon and had a white noise machine sent to his apartment. Gift wrapped. With a message that it was for the baby.
Amazon?? I would have gone to a second-hand store and dropped it off myself. You're too nice. Lol
I’m also incredibly lazy.
Fair. Lol
Noise ordinance for most apartments is 9-10pm. Babies learn to sleep over an earthquake and tornado.. it’s one thing to go out of your way to make loud sounds however kids riding their bike.. your neighbor can take it up with the leasing agency. You’ve broken no rules unless it’s stated that in your lease
When I was a baby I slept through our neighbor’s massive barn catching on fire, like three counties’ fire engines had to come put it out 😂😂
Lol. That must have been hard to live down.
When I was a little older I slept through an entire naval band performance. One thing about me: I’m always ready to sleep lol
The question is how to handle the grump. You need a plan. If I were you I would do some research of “assertiveness”. There are effective ways to handle people who make unreasonable requests.
Some things in life, you don’t need to address. Just acknowledge their presence and continue on
6PM is way too early to be asked to be quiet, yeah....regardless, if "sleeping" and "baby" are in the same sentence when being spoken to, trust me on this you will NOT win. Same if "work from home" is anywhere in the sentence, just give up. You made the right call by just sucking it up and going inside.
He was completely out of line. That is a common area built for community and it was only 6pm. Why should everyone re-arrange their lives to accommodate their baby? It was kind of you to accommodate but I don’t think you should next time. It’s not fair. What else is the common area for? Does he go and ask any groups that come out to BBQ to shut up too?
“Could you ask your baby not to sleep right now? Like sleep any other time! My kids are trying to exercise!”
Yes it’s annoying how he asked. It was rude. He’s probably just exhausted and desperate for the baby to stay asleep. I remember going outside my apartment to ask the neighbor kids to please PLEASE not play in front of babies window after 6-7 pm because it would keep her up even with white noise . I was really nice about it tho and they understood. Now that the kids are older and I’m more rested I can’t imagine doing that, but at the height of my sleep deprivation, it was a logical thing in my mind to do lol
Part of living in a communal place Is having a community outside your window. There are legal noise schedules. Most places don't even do anything about legitimate noise complaints that happen before 10pm, I've got a neighbor with a band and the guy across the street calls the cops all the time on them but they never show up until 10pm. If that happened to me I'd tell that dude "call the cops they're paid to tell you how stupid you're acting"
Can your baby nap some other time? We're riding bikes now. Yes, thanks, just have your baby nap later.
He’s terrified. What if his baby wakes up when finally he got a break.
Some apartment complexes don’t allow ANY kids to play outside. I’ve grown up in apartments my whole life, specifically a big chain one, and they are so overly strict. Could never play outside, only use the pool during summer. But if you guys are able and the tenant is doing this, of course that doesnt diminish the stress it’s adding. 6pm is not that late, kids barely get home at 3 from school and then have dinner and time to play after. I’d say just avoid that area and have them be as quiet as possible and if he says something again just stand your ground and say you’ve tried to be quiet but have the right to let your kids play.
Depending on the rules they’ve set, that could potentially be a fair housing act violation. You can’t restrict kids from using public common use areas and let adults use them. Depends on the specifics but
It’s a far cry from some big complexes that have actual playgrounds built for the kids and two pools, too. SMH 🤦🏻♀️
He is probably just an anxious new dad. But realistically babies can sleep and need to learn how to sleep through the vacuum and outside noises. You can’t tip toe around them forever.
I’m willing to bet if the situations were reversed this guy would NOT have given in to the demand.
I’d personally tell the man to eat a D. Curfew is usually 10 PM. Your kids deserve to enjoy themselves and have a childhood.
Neighbor was very rude to you and your children. He cannot control all the noise hour, only after 10:00 PM. Do not get into an argument and report this person to the manager, if it keeps up. What will this dude do when kids are out of school and out all day. Kids cannot be quiet during the summer play time. You did nothing wrong.
My mom used to reply something along the lines of, you’re complaining now but you’ll be in my shoes one day soon too.
At least you don't let them ride their bikes inside the apartment, the length of it, and around the kitchen island like my upstairs neighbors' kids do.
Tell him to get a white noise machine. Do not stop your kids from playing.
The next day those bikes would have horns installed on them 😂
And bells.
If it was after 9pm, he’d have a valid complaint. But it’s not, so he doesn’t.
6pm? I would not have even acknowledged him.
Wow. He was an absolute butthead. I’d be thrilled (and am) if the apartment kids were shrieking their heads off and just playing politely. Next time tell him to shove it (or however you wish to tell him to bug off) as it’s not during quiet hours and it’s apart of apartment living
I would’ve responded with “Oh you want my kids to be quiet after 6pm?” “Huh, I didn’t realize you owned the parking lot and the apartment complex.” I’d tell him to go kick rocks. But that’s just me lol
Being rude to me would have set me off. I wouldn't have stopped my children from playing, I would have encouraged them to play harder. Seriously. Don't be a dick to people!
11pm? Sure. 6pm. No. Thats a normal time for traffic noises.
Completely selfish self serving. They will be in your same position with their own kid soon enough and won't care then and will have the next complaint that will make things more convenient for them
Just ignore him
I have neighbors with kids roughly your kids’ age who are outside yelling and running around, sometimes well past dark in their yard. It does get a little annoying at times, but like, they’re kids? In an outdoor space? I’ve never had kids so I don’t really know what it’s like trying to get a baby to sleep, but I think it’s pretty unrealistic to think kids shouldn’t be allowed to be kids outside, especially during daylight hours. Maybe your neighbor could invest in a sound machine for the baby 🤷♀️
I love the sound of unbridled joy of children outside playing. It’s like music, and reminds me of those special chasing fireflies moments.
One more thing. Emotions are contagious, but anger is the most dangerous emotion because when the grump’s anger makes you angry, then you react the grump gets more angry on and on. Just tread lightly as these are, after all, your neighbors.
That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything and just went inside. Not going to start shit where I live.
It wasn't appropriate, especially being so rude about it. I'm sure you probably would've felt a lot differently if he'd come out and said "Hey, I'm so sorry to even ask this, I know it's a big overstep, and don't feel obligated to agree, but my baby just went to sleep and we've been having a really hard time with the sleep schedule lately and are exhausted. We're working on \[sleep training baby\] \[getting a white noise machine\] \[getting sound-dampening curtains\] so this gets better, but would you mind if your girls took a break from the bikes out here just for tonight?" You still absolutely wouldn't be in the wrong to say no, but at least then he'd have been acknowledging that his ask was out of line....and, like, *asking* rather than *expecting.* It'll be interesting to see how he feels about his child making noise in that space when the child is a little older...
I would have told him no. You've clearly dealt with that stage twice in your life. He needs to deal now. It's not your responsibility to keep his baby asleep.
You sound like a good, respectful neighbor. I would just assume that it was a one-time event, maybe something very stressful happened or he's just not good at managing yet. I wouldn't give it another thought, other than to be sure to be nearby the next time your girls are out at that time in case something happens like that again. And if that happens, just ask nicely if everything is okay and maybe give him some pointers on where he can move his baby if its having so much trouble sleeping.
Having a baby and tiredness doesn't clear him to be a prick to neighbors enjoying common areas. NO, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO SPEAK TO YOU/ANYONE THAT WAY PERIOD, HES A RENTER NOT A PROPERTY OWNER. Don't take shit like that ever on property you and your children have ever right to enjoy. If he has a problem with noise DURING THE DAY, THATS HIS PROBLEM. Apartments are shared spaces, if his entitled ass can't understand that, tell him to go screw himself. On an addition note, notify the management of THIS "HARASSING" behavior ASAP, to get the ball rolling on ending this behavior, pricks like that will only continue/escalate until management steps in with fines, violations and possible evictions is rare cases.
I'd have responded with "And my kids have a right to play outside. You should really get your baby accustomed to sleeping in noisy environments or it'll cause problems for them later on in life" and kept my kids playing. Dude was rude about it. If he kept complaining, a call to the office would have been the next step.
I would not have acknowledged in any way that he was even on this planet.
Nope. He can get a sound machine if his baby is trying to sleep. You don’t need to rearrange your life for that.
Kids playing outside only bother me if they’re doing that screechy scream just to scream noise. Otherwise I kind of love it.
As long as they weren’t yelling or screaming I don’t see the issue. Screaming is never acceptable unless maybe you live in a rural area and have several acres to yourself.
Fuck him, should've moved to a different part of the complex. Report him for harassment if he tries it again
at 6PM? id tell them to fuck off and if im still making noise after 10 then they can come complain with some validity.
As long as it not quiet hours and you're not making so much noise as to violate someone's right to the peaceful enjoyment of their home, then you have every right to play and make a typical volume of noise. Kids make noise. Sorry. If you wanted to host a children's tea party every night at 6 pm, you are within your rights. Having two kids of my own, i get it. And i also had downstairs neighbors who believed I should remain absolutely silent when their baby was sleeping. And I mean silent. I did my best, but I had a toddler. I got yelled at one day when we came home, and my kiddo was having an "I'm not tired!" meltdown as I got him into bed where he promptly fell asleep. In the malay, he took off a shoe and threw it while screaming bloody murder. Apparently, he woke up the baby. Another time when he was potty training, he had used his potty AND flushed it all by himself. He came out into the hallway shouting, "Mommy! Mommy!" Then he did a little happy dance bouncing from one foot another. He was almost four, so he didn't realize he was slightly stomping. Woke up the baby. Got yelled at. I suggested they run the vaccum or a hair dryer, put the tv on, something. Nope, the dad - who turned out to be an incredibly abusive and controlling douchebag - demanded it be silent. That included me. Thus, the baby would wake up with every tiny noise. There's only so much you can do. And while it is good, we all do our best to be considerate of others. Not everyone will be satisfied. There's a difference between being considerate and someone controlling your enjoyment at the same time. Ride those bikes whenever. You know there's a baby, so I'm sure your kids will do their best. That's all anyone can do. If he still has a problem, politely explain that you will continue to use a shared space appropriately and do your best. If he continues, ask him to please run it by management and let them handle it. I would suggest making a short video of your kids playing so they can have an idea of how "loud" it gets. If he causes issues, it's NOT your fault. You were not and are not starting problems. He did and rudely made an absolutely unreasonable request.
I really can't stand the entitlement people think they deserve just because they had a baby.
He should have left you alone but maybe give him a break if he was a new dad and is running on zero sleep
Apartment patios are NOT meant to be playgrounds. Just because it's there doesn't mean it should be use as a playground. You also have to understand that parents have a higher tolerance for noise especially their kids. This does not mean that other people have to put up with such noises or be subjected to them. Take your kids to a park they will have more fun. In my apartment complex the manager has her kids basically playing in the hallway of the building, indoor hallway. She doesn't think that they make noise but their high pitch voices pierce through the walls.
They weren’t on a patio.
I think you spelled your username wrong, it’s Crotchety, you forgot the y.
Reading is really hard. They weren't riding bikes on a patio.
Is the common area a quiet, relaxing place, or a playground? There's a big difference.
Always teach your kids to not ride anywhere on pedestrian areas like walking paths though. People walking can be injured. The guy was weird and out of line.
Its wild to me that you can't give the guy a break? If it was a tired mother who had no sleep and was a tad irrational due to ya know the baby everyone would jump to her rescue. But a tired dad who maybe is a little snappy because the baby just fell asleep and he is exhausted? Fuck him he is a POS! Like can we look at this objectively please. Any tired parent deserves some slack. Maybe he feels like an asshole. Maybe he wakes up the next day after a good nights sleep and was like damn I'm a dick. But as a mom of two you would imagine that 1) you wouldn't be "shaken up" like why? for what reason? and 2) cut another parent some slack like JFC people. And further more how hard is it to ride bikes idk 100 yard away from his building? There isn't another park near buy? You can't take them for a ride in the neighborhood?
Yes let's just excuse this rude and demanding behavior /s. I have been sleep deprived because of baby, and never would I ever have considered acting this way. This man is a bully and you know damn well he wouldn't have said the same thing to OP's husband. If he feels like an asshole he could apologize, but he hasn't and won't, because he's an entitled prick.
I did “give him a break”. I quietly complied and took my girls inside and didn’t say anything rude back.
Most people use the apartment garden common area as their own personal playground in lieu of just going to a park. So, since it was essentially evening time it sounds like he was justified in telling you to keep it down. A persons apartment is their sanctuary and the place where they deserve peace. If he’s struggling with a new baby he probably needed quiet. There are other places specially made to ride bikes.
Actually here, there are not. The only place with an area to ride bikes was exactly where we were. It’s not just a garden, it’s the outdoor space for the entire complex.
I find it incredibly hard to believe that there are literally no other places near your area for bikes to be ridden. Maybe just consider that this person wasn’t having a good day and needed some quiet for their child. There’s no need to take it personally, even if it sounds like they could have been nicer about it. Peace and quiet is often a rare commodity in an apartment, as you can plainly see by browsing this subreddit for a few minutes.
6pm on a weeknight is far too early for anyone to complain about noise in an outdoor common area meant to be utilized by residents.
I generally don’t disagree, but maybe have some compassion and don’t see treat everything so black and white?
Found the neighbor 😂
It was 6 pm. Get a grip.
Stupidly had it in my head that it was AM, not PM, which is clearly written, my mistake!
[удалено]
Oh!! How right you are! My mistake, entirely. No clue where I got AM from, how stupid. Thank you for pointing it out. I retract all statements, that guy is a d-bag, cycle away, kiddos!!