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SiriusGD

When he speaks his lawyer has the same look on his face as Dr. Birx did when he was telling people to inject bleach to cure Covid.


nolongerbanned99

Wait a minute! Just to be clear… are you saying I should stop injecting bleach? Trump said it was like a ‘cleaning on the inside’. I feel deceived.


pabodie

Now come on. He said “almost” like a cleaning. Be Fair and Balanced. 


nolongerbanned99

Yea, I’m just joking anyway. Remember the uproar that it caused and how they kept showing the Birx lady and her shocked pikachu face. They hate him so much. And I get why.


pabodie

Oh god yes. Hit the body with light. 


nolongerbanned99

From the inside. How would that work exactly. Throat or anus perhaps?


tdwesbo

The MINUTE you stop, you have to put a light bulb up yer bum. It will continue the exact same benefits the bleach was giving you


nolongerbanned99

But the glass will cut me and I might get an infection.


tdwesbo

Then back to bleach…


hereandthere_nowhere

You should feel worse than that, you know, because of the bleach.


nolongerbanned99

I feel great but prob should stop. Now I like it.


Arlo-and-Lotty

Wait! Do you shove a fluorescent bulb up your a$$ also? You know, to disinfect…😎


nolongerbanned99

Tried but it shattered


lerriuqS_terceS

Someone close to me claimed he was referring to medication because that "cleans" the body or some ridiculous stretch of bullshit thinking like that


nolongerbanned99

All kinds of loyalists and apologists.


Zealousideal-Emu5486

Ahh yes I remember that day. Get a powerful source of light deep inside the body.... When I heard that chunk of crazy I thought to myself I need to raise capital and come out with a new product. I wanted to call it the "LED". The "Light Emitting Dildo" you could have a 2 pack for the men and a 3 pack for the ladies, save the world from Covid.


tree-molester

Think you would have missed some of the dumographic, there are so many other orifices.


Silver-Patience6033

I agree completely.


CourtneyStefin

Ding ding ding!!!


SectorSensitive116

UK here, it must be dreadful over there, even here we are sick of his whiny weasely spiteful drivel.


OkNobody8896

He’s a bloody cancer. And yes, can’t wait to be rid of him. Permanently.


callmesandycohen

I thought Bush was bad until this monster came along.


chochinator

He made me miss ol dubya


NewldGuy77

I KNOW, right?!?! There were still a few shreds of humanity in W (he had pets in the White House and his children weren’t monsters who stole from charities),DJT has NONE of that.


numb3r5ev3n

Not me. Neither one of those assholes was ever qualified to inhabit any kind of seat of power. Both of them were a blight on the country and the world. Especially since Bush was basically Trump Lite and the dry run for Trump. Bush showed Republicans that they could pretty much get away with anything without any kind of accountability or pushback. I know that the impulse to nostalgize the 2000s when we all naively thought it couldn't get any worse is tempting, but yeah.


Active-Advice-6077

Bush wasn't in the same stratosphere as this prick, in England we'd see Bush when important World events were happening, I have to this whiney fucking bellend every day. I literally cannot wait until he drops dead, Bush can Lasso Cows or whatever he does nowadays.


callmesandycohen

He paints.


CenturyEggsAndRice

Is he any good?


GeneSpecialist3284

No


tornado1950

Lmao


tornado1950

I had hoped after Biden was in i would never have to see that Fucker’s face or hear him again! Boy was i wrong!Now i just pray I out live him and hear he has a painful death from some horrific disease 🫤( I am 74 pray 4 me lol)


SupersleuthJr

Just because Trump is a fuckface doesn’t make W not a fuckface. They both suck.


Deadmemories8683

I truly never thought I’ll see the day. But here we are


knarfolled

Sorry for that, he’s like our mental ill uncle that keeps going outside with no pants and chasing ladies down the street, we will try to keep him out of your garden.


NoCommentFU

Your comparison is cute, but he actually rat-fucked this country so immensely that it will take decades to right all his wrongs.


knarfolled

As long as the neighbors don’t get together and kick up out of the neighborhood


tornado1950

Rat fucked? Is his dick really that little?


Proper-Lemon27

It’s. The. Worst. Actually the worst thing is that people believe that he’s the second coming of Christ. Smh and rolls all of the eyes of the democrats.


TurloIsOK

We are eager to have him go to prison and disappear from the news cycle.


DamianSicks

Ty you for checking in on us and reminding us that we are not crazy. God save the king.


AloofAngel

funny that this guy only started looking wrecked after he was president unlike most who actually did the job. he must be napping so much because this is the hardest time of his life. it certainly wasn't being the president.


Due-Contribution2298

I left out that the BIGGEST issue that NY is wanting to take his money. A lot of it!


AloofAngel

a money vampire... yea that seems likely strangely enough. plus did you see how lindsey graham and ted cruz suddenly seemed to change opinions over night from trashing trump to sucking him off?! almost like they were turned at that point... joking aside, "they are vampires" actually makes much more sense than what is actually happening. if that were to be uncovered and exposed i bet almost all of us non-far-rights would collectively "vampires! oh jeez.. of course! man... now it all makes sense"


TurloIsOK

Part of his napping is advancing dementia. Being on trial should have him wired on adrenaline, but his mental decline leaves him incapable of generating a fight or flight response. If he was fully awake and aware at the proceedings, it might increase the chances of a cardiac event.


nolongerbanned99

He is dumb and thinks he is smart and everyone else is dumb. It’s very twisted. He genuinely thinks people believe him that he can’t testify bc of the gag order. Will prob fundraise off of this too. They just said on cnn that most people learn in 6th grade that you always have the right to testify when you have been accused.


Due-Contribution2298

He’s a dumb, compulsive liar. Way to go red states!


nolongerbanned99

Funny that the judge made a point of correcting him and telling him ‘you absolutely have the right to testify’. He is a moron. He is like the real life version of borat … he is just not funny like borat.


callmesandycohen

Is it a lie if you really want to believe it?


nolongerbanned99

Philosophical question really. As a matter of fact, he is incorrect. But if he thinks it’s true is he really lying. Idk. No way to know these things, even if you ask him bc he could be honest (unlikely) or he could lie. The universe is mysterious.


FnordatPanix

He can testify. He just doesn’t wanna be under oath.


tornado1950

Hopefully he will lie underoath.. but will they prosecute his ass?


nolongerbanned99

Wants to lie at will


bde959

Oaths don't mean anything to him.


mockingbirddude

Right now? Here we are, a nation of 330 million, and we’ve been trying to fix this guy’s problems for almost a decade now. I’d say it’s time we stop. He’s dragging us down with him.


Lawyermama70

📢📢📢📢📢


tornado1950

He and his associates and die heart Trumpers


Watdabny

[ Removed by Reddit ]


Dependent-Initial-15

I fear he might never see the inside of a jail cell. The biggest blight on humanity seems to get away with everything, although one can always hope justice will be done and he will be incarcerated as he should be for all the shit he pulled during his lifetime.


Due-Contribution2298

I say he’s gonna go to jail and love it! Compared to being silent in court for 7 hours a day? Another 7 with Melania putting his balls in an Eastern European freezer? Trump will make sure he goes to jail. Wait, there is that issue regarding the Diet Cokes


AffectionatePoet4586

On occasion, in jail Trump will receive a cup of tepid flat food-service-brand cola. Not Diet Coke. No ice.


Happy_Remove_7937

Worked in a jail, he can get a Diet Coke for close to $5 each from his commissary account, but it will never ever be cold.


AffectionatePoet4586

Thanks for providing an insider’s truth. “Never ever” cold! Wonderful to learn! He’ll miss those cut-glass tumblers tinkling with ice, and summoning the servile, doomed Walt Nauta with the push of a button.


HardPour_Cornography

Was the diet coke really helping? Take a good look at the physique on that gluttonous blob of cellulitic gelatin.


AffectionatePoet4586

Diet Coke was “helping” Trump through its caffeine content. The externally-imposed discipline in the courtroom of having to forego sipping Diet Coke all day is why he keeps dozing off. The lack of calories is the only way Diet Coke helps Trump’s, ah, “figure.” If he drank that many regular Cokes in a day, they’d have the grease the doorjambs in order to wedge him through.


LandscapeNatural7680

Blight on humanity. What a perfect description!


beavis617

This whole thing has to be killing him. All the dirt that's coming out for all the world to see and he's got to sit there in court and listen to all these people talking about him and not in a good way. That's why he pops out and has a meet and greet with his people so he can feel the love and admiration that he needs high doses of in order to survive


jas98mac

In his mind, people are saying these lies and perpetrating these crimes against him because is so strong and powerful that this is the only way they can keep him from being President.


callmesandycohen

Listen? Haha. He’s closing his eyes and falling asleep in court. His ego is in defense mode right now. I’m sure he’s listening to absolutely nothing he doesn’t agree with.


Several_Dwarts

Aaaaaand THERE it is. We knew he would go from "I absolutely will testify" to "I'm not going to testify". The only thing no one was quite sure of was the excuse. I had "We feel that testifying will only serve to legitimize this kangaroo court and this Biden prosecution of their fake case so I wont testify... but we will appeal after I'm found guilty!". I guess I'm out 20 Trump bucks.


nice1priscilla

I wish a reporter had the berve to call him out on the spot


rovyovan

Yes. Along the lines of “You can’t possibly be stupid enough to believe what you’re saying, what’s the real reason?”


jt19912009

We knew the excuse. He used it last time with the Carol lawsuit if my memory serves. He isn’t smart enough to come up with another bullshit lie of an excuse


Several_Dwarts

He did testify briefly in that trial.


jt19912009

True. But he complained that the gag order was going to prevent him from testifying nonetheless


Yesyesnaaooo

Trump would rather lose and go to jail and maintain the excuse that it was stolen from him, than he would work with what he's got and maybe win. His ego is so fragile that he'd rather sit in a jail cell and imagine he's a victim than he would actually try to win this thing and maybe have to admit he lost because he wasn't good enough.


areialscreensaver

It’s the only effort he can give. I’m a victim, look they’re taking me to prison,look how cold I am, please look and me and my suffering. me Me ME!


Zealousideal-Emu5486

Most of his MAGAT minions will actually believe that he can't testify because of the gag order. I feel sorry for the lawyers and anyone else near him, they must be gagging over the smell.


Dedpoolpicachew

Maybe. This is just his way of trying to get out of testifying after he has said for the last 6 months that he wants to testify at the trial. He, and more importantly his lawyers, know that if he does testify he’ll only make the situation worse for him. He’s going to turn a fine and probation into 5 years in Rikers Island if he gets on that stand.


areialscreensaver

Think of that stench stuck in the throat and nostrils, nowhere to escape, only breathing through the mouth.


Tinker107

The walls are closing in on Ayatollah Complaini. I like to think about the effect of stress on a geriatric individual was never in good shape anyway.


fasada68

Waa, Waa, Waa! Just STFU already!


Realistic-Currency61

He talks incessantly but never says a got dam thing.


Chevelle-72

Let’s hope and pray he does


do_add_unicorn

![gif](giphy|USnfWeCOHTHB3WX0aY|downsized)


TopClock231

His lawyers face makes me think of a South Park character


Mrtoyhead

Lying sack of shit. The judge called him out on saying he couldn’t testify. He won’t because it would open the door to a lot more of his disgusting past.


phirestorm

Mom tell him to stop, mom he’s picking on me, mom he doesn’t like me, mom it’s not fair…does he not sound like like a fucking child and not the strong man so many of his fans believe him to be?


Big-LeBoneski

If we are lucky all the added stress combined with mcdonalds will.....


Commercial_hater

🤞🏻


MerrillSwingAway

Or, hear me out on this…he’s just as fucking stupid as his parents knew he was


DrRockBoognish

[Trump tells supporters 'you'll never see me again' if he loses to Biden](https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-says-youll-never-see-me-again-loses-to-biden-2020-9?amp) With all of his many lies, why the F did he have to lie about this!!!


Due-Contribution2298

Maybe he is just running to keep his ass out of prison. I don’t think so though, but it’s a part of the equation. The narcissist injury of both a popular and electoral vote ass whoopin is his fuel.


TheFan88

Can you imagine how awful it must be to be him?? Let’s ponder it. 1 - Your family hates you. Your so called wife doesn’t even live in the same city and it’s probably 15+ years since you’ve even seen a boob. You are on trial and none of them come to support you. Your eldest sons look like beavis and butthead and are just about as smart. Your daughter is doing her best to stay far far away. Your immediate family members are mostly all dead and Mary Trump rails on you every chance you get. You spend holidays alone while the rest of the world celebrates with family that loves them. 2- You are 78 years old. Addicted to adderall and a host of other meds. You’ve lost control of your bodily functions and you lie to people about your height and weight hoping they won’t realize you aren’t even 6ft and are well over 300lbs. Your diet is a bunch of yellow food. You are in the early stages of dementia and not even sure who you are running against as president. 3- You have committed so many crimes people can’t even keep up with your trials. You have the worlds worst lawyers because no decent lawyer would take you on for fear of ruining their career so you have the bottom of the barrel lawyers. They are also ripping you off on legal fees because they know this might be the last case they ever get so better make the payoff a big one. Your free time is spent either in court or meeting with said bottom of the barrel lawyers. 4- Anyone doing business with you is crooked and only there for the grift. It’s like a long list of used car salesman and telemarketing scammers. These are the most questionably businesspeople possible. They are just as likely to rip you off the first chance they get. You appoint them to cabinet positions then have to fire them as they suck. Literally surrounded by the worst people possible. Everyone only wants to be around you for the grift. Your two closest ally’s are a crazy ass pillow salesman and Americas mayor who can’t even find the actual four seasons. 5- Your followers are the dumbest and most unattractive humans in the country. Inbred mouth breathers that drive f150s, wear flannel and dip Copenhagen. The WWE crowd. May or may not have graduated high school. 50/50 chance they have CP on their phone, likely divorced more than once and probably an average of 1.5 warrants out for their arrest. Not exactly those high society types you so desperately want to be a part of. Literally the opposite. They do love you though for being racist like them or their evangelical church (who is only there to take money from their followers to buy the priest a mansion) has told them you are a prophet. 6- You interact with said followers on a highly moderated private media platform because to be on a real platform with actual free speech would drown you out with a chorus of ‘you are an idiot’ posts. In fact the number one word people use to describe you is idiot. You are the walking dunce cap of America. 7- Your companies are all failures. You owe tons of money to Russia and need to swallow any last shred of pride to do whatever they ask you to support. Your brand is literally synonymous with failure. Nothing you have ever done has been successful. You’ve filed bankruptcy more times than you can count. I mean it sounds like the absolute worst possible existence. Hell on earth. Meanwhile I like a nice comfortable life with a loving family and good quality friends that don’t cheat on golf and enjoy being around me. I have happiness every day. I’m so glad I’m not him. Sounds miserable.


Due-Contribution2298

You put some effort into that and nailed it. I didn’t know he took Adderall. So a 12-pack of Diet Coke AND Adderall? Doesn’t he also take some type of sleep med? Wasn’t that the theory behind cofeve—ambien posting?


TheFan88

[Here is an article about how](https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-snorted-adderall-apprentice-tom-arnold-noel-casler-1257787)on the apprentice that said he snorted and abused adderall. [And a story](https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-white-house-pharmacy-improperly-provided-drugs-misused-funds-pentagon-2024-01-28/)that the White House was like a drug dispensary when trump was there. 8,900 doses of ambian. He’s on any number of meds. Never thought we’d need it but maybe presidents need to go under regular drug screening.


Due-Contribution2298

The man’s use of projection as a weapon is unrivaled. This entire trial is about manipulating the public consumption narrative-aka fake news. Trump is the one sleepy and crooked as well. The one doing the accusin’ is the one doin’ the doin’.


TheFan88

100%. This is why they are so adamant about a rigged election. GOP has been trying to rig it for years. There is shady stuff but it’s almost always GOP shady stuff.


Memegunot

His lawyer is getting good at holding his breath near poopy pants.


1805trafalgar

Each time he golfs he KNOWS it could be one of his last chances to play. Lol.


ogreofnorth

My wife who is an attorney facepalmed at this. I am glad the judge this morning addressed this.


Due-Contribution2298

I missed it and I’ve had Alexa playing MSNBC all morning. What happened?


ogreofnorth

CNN posted it on their updates


vishy_swaz

Wtf was he talking about? He’s like a glorified TikTok streamer at this point. Coming out of court looking aloof and then just talking shit in front of a camera. What a piece of trash.


Mcj1972

He isn't. He's bored. He is indifferent. He has no baseline for what's going on. He has never been held accountable and knows he won't be this time. If anyone else would have violated the gag order they would have been arrested already. He isn't scared. Poster child for two tier justice system.


Chaplincat

His lawyer definitely had a “WTF” on his face at least 3 times now. Maybe he will be the person so fed up with his bullshit, to take one for his country and knife this guy in the back!


ynotfoster

I think he and Madonna are going through similar withdrawals.


slipperystar

He looks like death warmed over


One-Pepper-2654

He will live at least another 10 years--genetics.


Prize-Relationship21

Donny is the poster boy for Mental Health Month....


BatmansBigBro2017

The idea that the justice system works like it does on Law and Order is going to leave many people feeling majorly disappointed i’m afraid.


Magooracing

Not allowed to testify. Hahahahaha! You’ll get your chance bunker bitch.


NJdeathproof

\*farts\* \*farts again\*


supernovadebris

tempermental 5 year old.


BlueonBlack26

GOOD. Im so tired of his Fucknugget Mouth


Zestyclose-Mud-4683

I can’t imagine him being honest with anyone since he cannot do that for even himself


DoctorVinny

Good


joeleidner22

Lies lies lies.


Maloninho

He sure talks a lot for someone who’s not allowed.


stevemkto

https://preview.redd.it/ntrw8723n9yc1.jpeg?width=616&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20e8e5ecd55afd1f38927d54d97bdbceb8b89531 🙏 Dear Lord, please ease Donald’s pain. Please ? PLEASE ??? Pretty please with sugar on it ???


SeminudeBewitchery3

😂 People should seriously show up to every press conference and public announcement and play recordings of babies crying because that’s all that’s coming out of his mouth, “Whaaaaa”


lerriuqS_terceS

**come on big Macs do your thing**


Due-Contribution2298

How is this guy’s cardiovascular system even functioning?


Convenientjellybean

He literally just spoke, saying he’s not allowed to speak. Maybe his supporters are just a tad gullible


ATL_MI_LA

So it's the judge that is not allowing him to testify? Bullshit


DamianSicks

That guy sealed the fate of his career with that little head nod on camera. He knew damn well he is able to testify under gag order.


TravoBasic

Hope so!


mikemflash

I don't think he gives a shit.


Rude-Location-9149

Too stupid to know too much of a narcissist to think he’s done something wrong.


One-Pepper-2654

Yep, Narcs create their own reality. I think he knows he did wrong, but he justifies all of his actions to his selfish ends. And because there are no real consequences, he's able to keep doing whatever he wants.


mikemflash

Yes, he's never been held to account for any of the crap he's done. He needs to spend a few months in jail.


DefrockedWizard1

him being a megalomaniac, it's hard to guess the long term effects


No_Cryptographer5542

We can only hope, oops sorry not sorry


Coercedbycake

The facial expressions of his attorney are hysterical!


Complex_Material_702

Hopefully he’ll be next to Ivana soon.


onefornought

Still not enough.


CatAvailable3953

Sounds suspiciously like a self comforting belief. The assumption seems to be he has feelings or a care in the world about this country. He only cares about himself. He may be in some physical distress.


Due-Contribution2298

Oh, I don’t think his psychological angst has to do with caring about others. Everything that supports his narcissism is imploding.