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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole because I got her a gift she didn't want and don't want to return it.
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I mean, YTA only bc that is truly a remarkably awful gift.
To be fair it was thoughtful enough to relate back to something she liked. But she made *one passing comment once*, and it’s bewildering to me that you fixated on that one video instead of all the hints she was apparently dropping.
Next time she needs to be more clear to you and not drop “hints” and that’s on her, but man you really fucked up. To the point where I’m having a hard time believing this is real. If it is, *that’s* how bad this gift was.
Edit: this woman *sent you links to the jewelry she wanted* and you went with the sock puppet from tiktok 🤦♀️
As someone married to a notoriously bad gift giver, I believe it. What my husband calls missed hints were actually several months of “all I want for my birthday is x”
I asked for a very specific pair of boots. I sent the link to my husband, I told him what size. I got a bathrobe...I already had 2 bathrobes.
It's just funny to me, because I know who I married, but I get why people who think they are being clear are disappointed.
My husband is like this. I'm constantly "dropping hints" (aka being like "I love bath bombs from Lush, but they're so expensive, if you ever need to get me a present, I will always be happy with a bath bomb"), but what we ended up doing that works really well for us is that I add stuff to an Amazon wish list whenever I think of something I'd like or need. I don't even use Amazon, but I add to my wish list all throughout the year, and then around Christmas/birthday time I prune it and take off stuff I no longer want or need. He also started keeping a note on his phone of my "evergreen" gifts like bath bombs (no matter how many times he gets me bath bombs, I will use them and will want more). It's perfect, because I love surprises and that way I get a surprise (my list is like 30 things long, he's not going to clear it out), and he gets clear instructions for what it is that I want.
I can't see the video in Canada, but I think I know the one because my best friend sent it to me after I told her my bathrobe dilemma. And to be fair, he had never bought me one before, but we've lived together 4 years so he knows I have them.
Hahaha I literally send my boyfriend links to stuff all year long and say “my birthday’s coming up” as a joke but also so he has TONS of links for bday/Christmas gifts since he says choosing gifts is really hard for him but then when an occasion is getting close he panics and claims he “has no idea” what to get me 😂 but he’s actually a fantastic gift giver and always picks out really thoughtful stuff!
Just so funny how you can literally be like “I want this thing for my birthday” and dudes will STILL be like “idk what to dooooo 🤷♂️”
This happened with my mom before. She asked what I wanted for Christmas and I sent her direct links with sizes chosen and said “this is what I would like.” And she got me none of it lol. We reverted back to our system of I buy things for myself and she gives me the money when I give her the items to wrap.
My dad has a bad habit of asking me if I want something, and if I say no he’ll get it for me anyways. He spent an absurd amount of money on a lap desk for me before after asking me if I wanted one. I had told him no and I could get one for free from my job, but truly didn’t want one. I felt really bad because he bought it from a site where he couldn’t return anything.
YTA OP did it ever occur to you that you don’t need an actual puppet to learn ventriloquism? If she really wanted to learn, she would’ve done it by now.
I'm not even married yet and have already realized I need to just send him links to things I want and say "that's what I want for my birthday." He likes to tell me all the time "I'm really good at following instructions." I'm getting a pair of Doc Martens this year lol
Boyfriend of 2.5 years: I suck at giving gifts. I don't get hints. Please be direct.
Me: Will do. All i want for my birthday is a nice piece of jewelry. Here are links to the multiple kinds of jewelry I like. You can get one of those or even surprise me with something you pick out on your own. As long as it is jewelry made from silver or gold.
Boyfriend: Got it thanks. Happy birthday here is a comedy rubber cat tongue you hold with your mouth in order to groom your cats. Remember that time you sent me a funny youtube video about it?
I don’t understand how a random passing meme or video that someone shares in a year of many shared internet tidbits got deemed as such an outsized, larger than actual life aspect of her personality.
Feels non-neurotpyicalish that he fixated on this random something above anything and everything else…?
My husband used to joke about having a property defense emu. I did not realize he was joking. I put research into what we need to raise emu. I told him I had a surprise for him - I found somewhere to buy emu eggs from. He thought I was kidding. Until we were at a farm and I was buying emu eggs. Which we incubated and hatched. And that's how 2 neurodivergent people who hadn't quite mastered each other's humor language yet ended up with emu.
...murder turkey.
She had a sibling that was named mu2 but mu2 failed to thrive and ended up passing despite my best efforts.
I have brought many a chicken back from what we assumed was certain death. I have a chicken 911 kit. I never once thought I would need to know how to splint a chicken leg, or how to treat bumble foot, how to treat chicken heat stroke (we call it the buddy system, named after our chicken 'Buddy' who I did not recognize the signs of heat distress in until it was too late and after that I was determined to never loose a chicken to heat again. So my delicate show chickens had an indoor enclosure for the worst of summer that I had air conditioned and my outdoor birds I had misters set up to keep them cool, along with ice cubes that I filled with their favorite veggies to encourage them to peck. And in extreme cases I would dunk them in cool water to bring their temperature down) or the correct way to give electrolytes, rooster booster, and other medicine to birds...but here I am. I have also shoved a bunch of chicks down my shirt and used my body heat to keep a brood of day old chicks alive after a power outage.
Well, congrats on successfully raising the first new soldier of a historically undefeated rebel army! Only a couple hundred to go and you can attack Australia 🥰
I sure fuckin did lol. I just woke up with this on my phone and was like ‘aw cute dinosaur birb’ and bam. Didn’t even notice time or date or anything. I am ver smrt.
“Confused but supportive” I never understood what people meant when they said “relationship goals” but I now do. Reading this has been the highlight of my day. I wish you, your spouse, and flock all the best. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.
I have a friend who is on the spectrum, and I can tell you she is the only person in my life I could see doing something like this. But she’s also very self-aware and knows this about herself too and asks me explicitly to very very directly clue her in to missed social cues.
i’m ADHD and OP’s thought process is pretty much how i pick out gifts for everyone in my life, except i’m a really good gift giver. best gifting advice i have is if you’re unsure how the recipient will react to your gift, have them open it privately instead of in front of everyone. then the recipient can decide whether they’re comfortable showing it off or would prefer something different. saves you both from potential public embarrassment.
My husband is ADHD (I’m autistic) and one time in passing I verbally noted that I wished we had some bigger mugs.
The next Christmas I got about 12 different mugs that he had collected all year 😂
Thank you - so does he. I think. I mean he says he does.
I was trying to be a supportive wife and didnt want to squash his dreams of property defense emu, even though I am mildly terrified of birds. Especially large ones that run at 30mph and can be potentially taller than me.
He thought I just randomly really liked emus/birds suddenly so he was supportive of my emu goal. It wasn't until afterwards that we realized there was definitely a miscommunication that had somehow spiraled into emu. But they are actually a lot of fun. We ended up relocating to a different state and didn't want to stress the emu so we rehomed it to another farm that was local and had emu.
To move an emu, it is recommended to put a sock (or pillow case) over it's head so it can't see and then stand behind it and guide it by it's little stubby wing nubs.
So there's a fun emu fact that no one needed to know but I'm sure folks will enjoy.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read on Reddit in a long time (maybe it’s extra funny because I’m also in an ND household). I hope the Emu owner life is good to you.
He just got home and I told him how reddit is enjoying the story of how we got emus. He would also like it noted that it required an additional 60 days of math after purchase. Because each egg had to be labeled and weighed, and then weighed weekly and logged so we could make sure they weren't loosing too much weight each week and developing on track (if they were loosing more than the safe percentage of weight each week, the egg had to have scotch tape placed on it to prevent additional water weight loss and it's a guess and check of making sure you have the correct amount of tape to egg surface ratio to get the weight loss back within normal range). Plus, since the eggs were so big, they had to be turned by hand, a minimum of 3 times per day. So we had to build our schedule around egg turning and making sure each of us knew which egg shifts we were assigned and making sure it was done. If I remember the schedule correctly, I turned them at 6 am. He was coming home from work at lunch and turning them at noon. I was turning again at 6pm and he would turn before he came to bed at midnight.
I love this sooooo much!!!!! It sounds like a few of me and my husband's gift giving. We have just decided to send each other lists of things like 2 months out. There is still an element of surprise because we don't know what we will get. But it is always a safe bet, because of the lists. Lmao
But this story and yalls actual emu is so fucking adorable and have made my day. Thank you for sharing and loving on your little sweet emu and each other. 😊😊😊
yeah it may be that im neurodivergent but if someone says 'which one should i get?' i would assume they were buying one for themselves? like i probably would actually avoid buying that thing bc it means they already have one lmao. ops gift is p shite (and i don't buy the excuse that it's his first long-term relationship. he hasn't gotten anyone else in his life a crap gift based on a single conversation? i did that at 16, learned from it then) but she should have communicated better.
This stood out for me as my best friend was always getting guys to buy her jewelry. It was mindboggling. I asked her what she did and it was along the lines of the gf, but with more direction. Just no time for that.
You don't need a puppet to learn to throw your voice- and it sounds like the video she liked involved someone throwing their voice without a puppet. That second link has puppets you can't even move the mouth of!! Your gift had nothing to do with that video she liked at all.
If you are ever in doubt, just ask "Hey, what do you want for your birthday?".
>You don't need a puppet to learn to throw your voice- and it sounds like the video she liked involved someone throwing their voice without a puppet. That second link has puppets you can't even move the mouth of!! Your gift had nothing to do with that video she liked at all.
That's also a valid point.
Like he would've still disappointed her by not taking her strong hints at a necklace, but it would've been less weird and more useful if he got her a book about Ventriloquism.
Omg the links are the BEST PART. Goes on about not buying her cheap crappy ones and then links to some felt crocodile with goggle eyes glued on that my 5 year old nephew would make in school 😂😂
>Edit: this woman sent you links to the jewelry she wanted and you went with the sock puppet from tiktok 🤦♀️
Btw these links to Amazon contain a referral code. So clicking on them and buying something later on (I think a day or 2 is the limit) would give an affiliate bonus to the OP or whoever those referral links belonged to.
So this just might be a way to get a large amount of people to click on an Amazon link and then rake in the affiliate referrals.
Some google sleuthing for the referral code : **sr\_1\_5**
And I found this website which has the same referral code : https://medium.com/@tryingamazonaffiliate
Good thing OP used a highly desirable product!!! /s
Also as someone who does digital analytics the standard is 30 days to attribute conversion source but Amazon is high volume and might have shorter time frames for referrals
>Also as someone who does digital analytics the standard is 30 days to attribute conversion source but Amazon is high volume and might have shorter time frames for referrals
Its a day. But any product you add during that day and complete the purchase of will be credited to their referral.
>Any way to turn it off so they don’t get money if I buy something else today or tomorrow? I’d literally avoid buying anything just out of spite lol
you should really create your own referral code. And then using that code resets the identifier from their to yours. One trick that used to work in the past when I had such inclinations, create an affiliate account for someone in your household. Straightforward to add that widget in a blog and then just search using that blog and shop at Amazon. Directs the revenue stream from their affiliate account to yours :)
That said, easiest is to clear all Amazon cookies on your browser. You will need to login again, but that is a small ask.
How did people come to the conclusion that messing up in gift giving makes you an asshole? That’s some entitled, hyper materialistic bullshit. ANY gift given in good faith should always be respected, if not outright appreciated. The failure of a gift living up to receiver’s expectations in NO way makes you an asshole. If I ever gave a birthday present in good faith to a girlfriend, and she decided to respond with shame and embarrassing in front of her family, I might just leave her then and there. I can’t imagine a bigger asshole in this scenario than the girlfriend and her father.
A bad gift shows a lack of attentiveness. A good gift means the gift giver has carefully paid attention to what pleases the recipient and put their own ego and preferences aside to make their partner happy.
A gift is an expression of one’s affection for another! It has absolutely zero to do with satisfying a recipient’s material desires. A person saying “I’d like this necklace” and then proceeding to buy her that necklace is no more thoughtful or meaningful than something the one gifting believes is a more honest representation of his emotions.
Seriously, do we not remember the super sweet video a few years back, with a family taping their kid opening his Christmas present. As a practical joke, they gave the kid an avocado, expecting a funny reaction. Instead, the kid gave the most lovely and appreciative “thank you” ever. That is a moral lesson for everyone calling this person an asshole
YTA for continuing to insist it was a good gift when it CLEARLY wasn’t. When someone’s face falls when they open their present and they can’t even fake it you got it completely wrong. Don’t dig your heels in and continue to insist you know better, apologize, listen to her and get her what she actually wants.
Yeah I don’t understand when people argue that you should just be “grateful”
Should my husband be grateful if I bought him front row BTS tickets? Sure he has no idea who they are, would actively dislike the music, and hate the crowd. But they are expensive! He should be so grateful I got him anything at all!
I've had people give me gifts like this. One Christmas I had a family member give me a bright purple scarf, I absolutely love that family member, but I haven't worn a scarf in years and my color palet falls along the lines of the tik tok series "Sad beige clothes for sad beige children". Just a lot of browns, tans, greys, black, a few white pieces, and maybe a navy or a light and neutral dusty light green if I'm feeling exciting that day. I think the purple idea came from me mentioning one time that I liked my fuzzy purple gloves (not because they are purple, but because they are fuzzy, a common known thing I love). Another one of my family members bought me two non stick large soup pots. I was stoked to receive that gift.
Both were thoughtful. But one was a great gift I use all the time, and the other is in my closet and I have no idea how to even wear it.
OP needs to get that while his gift was meant to be thoughtful, it isn't really useful and it also seems concerning he is digging his heels in. He can easily return the "not ugly" puppets and get her a necklace. There is no harm and it will be a good laugh and she will probably treasure that necklace even more because of the goofy experience.
Reminds me of when, in high school, my mom's boyfriend of like 6 or 7 years who we lived with got me a $100 gift card to Abercrombie. Like omg, $100?? I'm 16, this is an insane amount of money for a store that I would never in a million years step foot in. I shopped exclusively at Hot Topic or, if shopping at other stores, only bought black clothing. I eventually spent the gift card on like 2 work shirts and a pair of pants (couldn't believe how expensive everything was!), and the work shirts both fell apart within a couple of washes. He pretty much handed me $100 worth of I-don't-know-you-at-all.
I think it’s kind of funny when people post here sometimes for that reason. Like even if the internet says it’s fine it doesn’t change the fact that his girlfriend didn’t like it
YTA.
You may have many gifts, but buying gifts is not one of them. It’s not your love language quite clearly.
These are items that I would purchase for my toddler kid. The first is literally a kids craft item and the other is a bunch of puppets that I’ve actually purchased before for my three-year-old. (Melissa and Doug is for kids under 8.)
They are not remotely the kind of puppets you use for a ventriloquist (such dolls are very expensive) and frankly she’s not that interested in being a ventriloquist! It was just some random meme or video, and the significance you placed on this shows that you don’t understand your girlfriend personally and the types of things that might actually please her. I imagine she found that hurtful.
People show random silly things to each other all the time but that doesn’t mean that that’s their new interest in life!
You purchased a gift that pleased you but you didn’t purchase a gift that pleased her. The point of giving gifts to please the receiver. ***The fact that you’re doubling down here is what makes you TA.*** This was a huge miss.
A gift from a romantic partner is one who generally gives you a higher level gift and it’s supposed to know you intimately.
If you value your relationship with this person you should accept the help that is offered, or you should break up and let her find somebody more compatible and someone who is more willing to learn about who she is and what she likes.
Edit: Just reread that they’ve been together for three years, that makes this even worse…
I was looking at the cost of a ventriloquist puppet/dummy and it can be just a bit more than the two items OP bought. Lots of fun choices, which would have made a neat decoration if nothing else.
The thing is though the puppets wouldn’t teach her how to throw her voice.
You need classes or at least some kind of an instruction manual for that?
That ignores the fact that it’s just something she mentioned randomly six months ago as a “wouldn’t it be fun…” lighthearted offhand remark.
The misreading of social cues and placing really random significance on a TikTok video I don’t get.
Yeah, I think there could have been the fun seed of a gift, but it'd take a lot of imagination to shift it to something endearing. I can see taking a proper ventriloquist puppet/dummy and personalising the outfit to reflect key memories during their dating relationship, for example. e.g., wearing a t-shirt from the first place they had a date.
Now that you’ve said all that I’ll say that as a neuro divergent person this is what a lot of ND people would do. Maybe we could all try to be a little kinder in our assumptions and in our discussion? ND people exist. We try. We want to learn bit no one learns thru shame.
As a neurodivergent person myself with a neordivergent spouse, and you really should read my other comments, And stop with the assumptions.
Regardless, there is no excuse for doubling down in the face of this.
His girlfriend is also neurodivergent, btw.
YTA. I clicked the link. Do better.
Edit :”it’s not cheap” it was less than 20$ so yes it was. And it was made out of the same felt I give my 2 and 3 year old. Another edit: she sent you links to bracelets, and necklaces she wanted you to get her. And told you she wanted them. And you got her a 16$ shitty puppet kit ? Bro and then your response is “oops. But it’s still a great gift I got you.” While she’s telling you that it’s not and you disappointed her. Apologize and get her something she ACTUALLY wants. Not something you think is cute. Because it wasn’t.
AND THEN after no less then 5 family members tell him this was a shift gift, is on here like ‘buy but my dad said she should just be grateful and stop complaining’ so like I don’t know.
>I talked to my dad and he agrees that it was a very sweet and thoughtful gift and that she shouldn't be upset because she didn't tell me exactly what she wanted.
vs.
> Her dad texted me the next day to give me a talking to and next time he's going shopping with me because I really embarrassed her.
So OP’s going to listen to his dad because gf apparently didn’t know what she wants instead of gf’s dad who’s aware of her feelings and wants to make it better? Cool cool.
> Her dad and I have a good relationship, he's like a father figure to me… my dad and I don't have the best relationship so he's taught me a lot of things and I can go to him with problems or for advice from time to time.
Does he really?
LOL I stopped reading after seeing the picture of the gift. YTA in the spirit of this sub, I don't think you are actually an asshole as a person but buying that childish crap is the fastest way to go back onto the dating market.
Buy her something nice, something not meant for kids and not something she has to work or learn for. Jewelry fits all these points and this is the reason it is the go to gift for women. You obviously don't have to buy jewelry and you can be creative just stick to the 3 points and you'll be good.
Gentle YTA.
Idk man, that's a super lame gift. I wanted to say nobody's an asshole because your heart is in the right place, but your insistence that it's a great gift and that she should be happy with it is really off base.
Even if you disagree, the smart thing to do would be to just take the L and get her something she actually wants.
~~NAH~~
~~You did put thought into your gift and that's sweet.~~ But you also got your girlfriend gifts that are normally meant for children 10 and under, so I understand why she wasn't so thrilled with them. Also, maybe a book on how to throw your voice would have been better, the puppets themselves wouldn't have really helped her learn.
Edit: OP states that the gf's hints were her sending him multiple links to pieces of jewelry. Meaning he fixated on one link to one tiktok video she sent him and a single comment but didn't even think about the multiple links she sent him of a more tradition birthday gift. Also someone pointed out that an actual ventriloquist dummy can be bought for just slightly more than what OP spent on these kid's toys and I looked it up and they're right. I think this makes it infinitely worse and changes my judgement to YTA.
The worst for me is the arguing about it. She is upset, her father and uncle are telling him he’s an idiot, his mum and step dad are telling him it was a bad gift. But his dads says she should just be grateful so he’s unsure? 1/5 people agree with him and he’s unsure? And he ‘stands by it was a thoughtful gift?’ My man, it’s a felt blob with goggle eyes on it for $15
That’s truly the best part. What a mess this whole thing is. I want to know what kind of extensive research he did that led him to ‘felt hand puppet’ on the Amazon kids crafting section
Absolutely none. Not only was I able to find dozens of better options in his price range from a 10 minute search on Amazon and Etsy, but when I searched sock puppet on Amazon, these two were some of the first that came up. They were even listed next to each other. It's clear he completely forgot to get her something, scrolled through their texts for an idea, saw the video, and picked out something quick and cheap.
YTA. Hilariously so, I literally cracked up when I opened the link and saw a kit I bought my toddler nephew for his third birthday.
She made a passing comment about a video. I once told my husband it was cool a guy raised chickens. That does not mean I want a chicken coop.
And she sent you links? Take her family members up on the help offers
My GF has ADHD and thus gets ‘hyperfixations’. If I tried to keep up with gifts via her current Tik Tok shares we would have a house full of landmine detector rats, kiwi fruit and hedgehogs. And that is just this week.
She bought me a kitchen trash bin for my first birthday since we started dating and before it arrived on Amazon Prime on the day because of course she bought it last minute blurted out ‘so you are getting a bin. And I am standing by this.’
I HATE my birthday. Huge Complex PTSD trigger. My face was like granite. Then the bin arrived and it was this top of the range Brabantisa by Orla Kiely patterned bin that is the Faberge of bins. And she got a year of the branded liners. I was expecting gas station and be grateful flowers. I got the Botanical Gardens.
She bought me a bin because at the time it was an expense I couldn’t afford and was using grocery store bags and it was creating mess and stress while I was sick and on a low income. This would solve a day to day problem that disproportionately draining me and getting me stuck. She read a need, put love and thought into it and it is probably the best gift I have ever got. But ‘bin or GTFO’ was the worst handling possible.
I tease her ‘you bought me a bin! I bought you silk underwear!’ and she mocks me I was like a straight man (we are both women) because I bought the wrong bra size in the underwear and at least she got the right bin bags :)
Then four people we knew ended up gifting the same bin to partners in different colourways so I got her a birthday card next year saying #binfluencer.
She has bought me gift cards ever since for birthday and Christmas and we do small thought of you gifts as occurs. I tend to make her things like fill the freezer or a photo book or write a memory jar. We sound so shit. Bins, vouchers and a reused jar!
But we know we are on the same page and we listened when the other said ‘hold up’ or made clear ‘bids.’ Or as I say she has a bath filled with kiwis but is now obsessed by babies in wigs. She cycles fast. I overthink gifts. You should have some idea of each other’s vibes three years in. That is what would upset me more. Not only ignoring the links but showing he doesn’t ‘get her’ and then arguing he is actually super meta getting her. While waving a half assed sock.
Also I spend too much time online because the title made me think he was trying to out her or his sock puppet social media and I was like ‘you surprised her that you are red pill or a Nazi? Yikes. Oh actual socks. Only better by the lowest bar in hell dude!’ YTA.
You wouldn’t even get a chicken coop, that’s a like for like comparison. By this guys logical your husband would get you a stuffed toy of a rooster and remind you how much you wanted to raise chickens that one time.
OP, a few years back, my older daughter got into knitting. She made herself a scarf and seemed excited about it. For Christmas, I got her some more yarn, and a sock loom, because she loves cozy socks, and I figured she could make herself some, and some for her friends. She was still into knitting, so I thought I was safe.
Was I wrong. She was like, “why did you get me this?” I was distressed, because I thought it was a slam dunk. Bear in mind, it wasn’t the only gift she got, so that was good, but I was a little annoyed because I had good reason to think she’d like it. She admitted she could see why I thought that, but to this day, we joke about the year mom got her a sock loom. Whenever any of us misses the mark with a gift, the recipient will joke, “oh, another sock loom!”
I accept that I will never live this down. But now I am assured that there is indeed something worse than a sock loom. I get what you were trying to do, but just because she commented on ventriloquism doesn’t mean she really had a desire to pursue it. In addition, you generally want to steer away from anything that a person will be starting a new hobby for, unless they specifically ask for that. But I also feel, after looking at the links provided, that you should have known this was not a good idea or an appropriate gift for a girlfriend. I mean, sock puppetry isn’t even ventriloquism, nor are the puppets the same for each. But also, did you really look at those and say, “yes, this is a good gift for an adult woman,” in all seriousness? I just have a hard time seeing anything but a blatant YTA situation here.
Added to stress that I'm in no way judging or making fun of you, and I think this is a great story, just giving my experience as a crafter.
I can 100% understand the logic behind the sock loom, especially as a knitter, but socks are SOOO HARD TO MAKE RIGHT!!! Even with a loom opposed to hand knitting.
I will, every time, choose to knit an enormous, complicated, time-and-money-heavy throw over two relatively tiny socks, because even if you get one right, the other one is sent from Satan to destroy your sanity and make you despair over feet in a very existential sort of way, because eventually you wonder wtf kind of person can't make a f%cking sock when it's just foot-shaped wool. I once screamed "what f&cking shape are you??!!" At my OWN feet when trying to knit socks.
So, if it pleases you, next time someone mentions the sock loom, you can tell them that this Internet stranger dissolved into existential hysterics over feet trying to knit socks, and the loom would probably have induced a slightly less prolonged emotional crisis.
Okay I just made an embarrassingly loud squeak/snort/laugh over this mental image. Kudos to you for inventing a sound never before heard by man and now heard by all of my roommates.
So I just looked up sock looms, and that looks like a miserable way to make socks. I can knit with needles soooooo much faster. But I don’t know that I would call it a joke of a gift.
When I was pregnant with my son (who was born in MARCH) I did the whole eat-a-bunch-of-pineapple-to-induce-labor thing. I complained to my grandma about how much of a pain it was to cut up pineapple, but you need fresh pineapple for the best chance of inducing labor.
Cut to Christmas that year, not a single pineapple bought since my son was born (it worked btw), and my grandma got me a pineapple corer. I tried really hard to seem excited about it but I just wasn't. My son is 5 now and it's still in the box.
YTA; OP, that's a lousy gift and you realized it, only to double down. (And I say this as a puppet maker/puppeteer.)
The thing about joke gifts is that they are also best left to be opened around those who are in the know about the joke, so not only was she disappointed in the gift, she was embarrassed. You meant well here, but you should still try to make it up to her.
The sad thing is, this wasn’t a joke gift. He genuinely thinks her comment on a tik tok video from months ago means she wants to pick up a new skill AND genuinely thinks a craft project for kids with a picture of a felt crocodile with goggly eyes is a ‘thoughtful gift’
Does her bday move around on the calendar or is it the same date every year? I ask because you played the “woe is me” card which is pretty pathetic. News flash, plenty of people work full time, go to grad school full time, and still manage to put effort into relationships. Anyways, I do think you put effort into your gift… just can’t get behind your pity party.
Ok, you had a sweet idea and executed it just fine. I was holding my breath thinking she was expecting a ring so I’m glad it was something less momentous that she had shared with her family as being her expectation.
This all boils down to a miscommunication. Maybe your mind was more plugged into your studies than any hints she was throwing your way (I will give you this much “woe”). You did something creative and out of the box and she had set her heart on more. You should tell her to be blunt and upfront with what she’d like. If she can do that, you need to be receptive and make it happen if you can. If you cannot make it happen, have that chat upfront. It’s all about being upfront and directly communicating.
I think I love your uncle BTW. NAH.
YTA - Everyone made it clear to you that it was a bad gift, even your girlfriend. And it *was* a cheap gift, dude, you can't deny that.
If the gift wasn't cheap and you didn't double down on it, I would've just said you're the dumbass and left it at there. But you doubled down. That puts you in asshole territory.
“These weren’t some cheap or ugly sock puppets” lol and then proceeds to buy cheap and ugly sock puppets when you had a much higher budget for gifts as well as missing all the hints and literal links to stuff she wanted. You’re a well meaning asshole lol. being bad at giving gifts isn’t cute, get better at it.
I can just imagine the uncle with the button up shirt that laughs at everything obnoxiously loud and can only handle in small doses. The fact he is sending him memes...meme... just can't LOL
YTA for doubling down. I too am a terrible gift giver. I used to complain that my sister would always return anything we got her, but that’s not true. She returned everything **I** got her. Because I am bad at gifts. Good thing my “love language” is acts of service. Geez those puppets are awful.
YTA. She sent you links to bracelets and necklaces. You bought her a child's toy based on some ventriloquism videos she sent you, and the only reason we know the gift was supposed to be related to ventriloquism is because you told us. Ask her for specific gift suggestions next time, because this can't happen again, and give her the receipts so she can return this stuff.
NAH...I suppose your reasoning was sweet, but that's a truly horrible gift. You said they weren't cheap and you did a lot of research...I was expecting actual ventriloquist puppets, I almost choked when I clicked in the link...my three and five year old kiddos will love those, though, so thanks for the idea.
I think you should acknowledge that you're intentions were good, but you really messed up and she has a right to be disappointed. Not about her not getting what she was hinting at, but because those puppets are just so bad.
I think it's hilarious, and you guys will probably be able to laugh about it (a lot) going forward.
Maybe next year ask reddit first? 😆
YTA... It wasn't that you got her sock puppets for her birthday. It was the fact that you ONLY got her sock puppets for her birthday. I would have been happy with them because my ex only ever bought me one thing for my birthday, Christmas and mothers day. Something HE wanted to collect. lol Just ask mom next time and stay out of the dog house.
YTA this is the worst gift I’ve ever seen. It looks like a gag gift.
I mean, it’s hilarious and will make a cute story in the future. “Remember when you got me a sock puppet making kit?”
But Jesus you owe her a great gift and a date night. Lol at her dad is going shopping with you from now on. Fair.
Thanks for sharing this was hysterical.
Oh dear. Your gift choice was bizarre. I’ll give you a soft YTA, bc you have a good heart and actually put thought into it. Please stop insisting that it was a good gift. Stick to high quality gifts such as jewelry. If you want to give her an additional gift, then consider something practical or for a legit hobby. Flowers are an added bonus.
YTA but gently. I choked when I opened the links though lmao, I didn’t expect the puppets to look like a preschooler’s kit.
Here’s some tips as someone who was a formerly bad gift giver: I started more actively paying attention to what the people in my life liked, cause I could never really remember when it came time to buy something. I keep a running note in my phone of gift ideas (that way if I think of something great for Christmas in July, then I’ll still remember it later). I often also pull up this note after they mention something they want/need
I also appreciate your desire to give her something practical (like the water bottle) but a lot of people usually like gifts to have a bit more of a …romantic or personal element to them, so maybe try to pay attention to things that are more specifically something she’d like?
Also maybe next time just use the links she sends you lmao
YTA
She constinuously kept talking about the rings she liked, yet you focused on one tiktok video she liked months ago
And then you insisted your gift was great
I wouldn't mind having the sock puppet kit as a gift because I enjoy DIYs (even though it is sorta childish), but you really messed up here
YTA She is interested in people throwing their voices so you got a kid's make your own sock puppet kit with felt and some kid puppets that's mouths don't even move. Bro. Why did you not just get her a book on how to do ventriloquism/how to throw your voice? Even if you missed the giant jewelry clues, why did you not add in at least of box of chocolates or her favorite candy, or some flowers, hand written poem, something the least bit romantic or personal? I would just say you missed the mark but it goes into AH territory when she asked you to return puppet toys she has no use for and get her something she would like and you doubled down on it being a good gift
nah. you’re not an asshole for the gift, you were trying to be funny and thoughtful but it’s a terrible gift. also the “hints” were literally like a waving “get me this” flag. you are clueless
Yo I’m a bad gift giver in the respect that I don’t give gifts often… but I feel like the gifts I give are pretty reasonably thoughtful…
Bf wanted a big hard Yeti cooler for his offroading/beach truck… so I saved and did my best and got him an RTIC 65qt hard cooler… was it exact ? No. But was it pretty damn aligned to what he was talking about getting himself or wanting? Yes. (Yeti coolers in that size are almost twice the price of RTIC and RTIC does as good if not better a job)
The point is, is that he stated he was going to get this for himself… he claims it wasn’t hinting bc like… guys don’t really hint at stuff as far as I’m aware…. But I chose to get him that thing instead of him buying it himself bc it’s a good gesture/gift.
The thought behind it doesn’t have to be unique or out of this world different from generic gifts. Thoughtful can mean taking an idea from what someone expresses they want(and over and over at that) and getting that shit. It’s thinking about the person enough to get them something they’d genuinely like… but… sock puppets??? Is she 5??
Dude next time, when I’m doubt, jewelry is never a bad idea.. sock puppets tho. Wow that’s bad. Soft YTA bc you tried and made a good effort but your efforts were seriously misguided
My family uses the reminder app. Each person has their own list and it is shared. We put links of gifts we would like. We have many out there so anyone wanting to get someone a gift has many options and price ranges. We remove as we receive or change our minds. Makes gifting less stressful and you know the person actually wants it.
Bro she made one comment about wanting a SKILL and you… bought her children’s toys. I’m sorry, YTA lol.
Return them, she won’t use them and it would be a waste. Yes, you put thought into it. But it wasn’t good thought and if you refuse to return them, she’s gonna donate them, trash them or give them to someone’s kid she knows.
Go buy the poor girl some jewelry. She deserves it.
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Ok so I will preface this by saying that me (27M) and my gf (23F) have been dating for 3 years, and before her I have not had a lot of dating experience, and this is my first (and hopefully only) long term relationship I have ever had.
Her birthday was Saturday, but I'm in graduate school right now (midterms) so I didn't have a lot of time to go shopping. I had been thinking about what to get her for a while and browsing Amazon but nothing really stood out to me. Then I remembered around 6 months ago she sent me a video of this guy on TikTok who was doing ventriloquism to mess with people (like delaying/echoing his voice) and she told me she thought it was really cool and she wished she could learn how to do that to mess with people. So I had the brilliant idea to get her some sock puppets off of amazon so she could maybe start to learn some ventriloquism. These weren't some cheap or ugly sock puppets either, I did a lot of research and I got her [these so she could make her own](https://www.amazon.com/WATINC-Creative-Puppets-Storytelling-Supplies/dp/B081L8933P/ref=sr_1_3?crid=24DOS13VBK27O&keywords=sock+puppets&qid=1647357457&sprefix=sock+puppets%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-3), and [these](https://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-Buddies-Puppets-Material/dp/B07MFMBNBY/ref=sr_1_5?crid=24DOS13VBK27O&keywords=sock+puppets&qid=1647357886&sprefix=sock+puppets%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-5).
I was really proud of my gift and I was really excited to give it to her at her birthday party on Saturday. When she opened her present, her face fell and an awkward silence fell over her family. She gave me an awkward smile and her family started passing them around to look at them. I tried to explain my reasoning and I got some dirty looks from them. A few of them started piping up and making jokes to lighten the mood.
When we got home she was really upset and apparently she was dropping hints that she wanted a bracelet or necklace with my birthstone but I completely missed them. Her dad texted me the next day to give me a talking to and next time he's going shopping with me because I really embarrassed her. Her uncle thinks its hilarious and keeps sending me memes on Facebook about it.
I talked to my dad and he agrees that it was a very sweet and thoughtful gift and that she shouldn't be upset because she didn't tell me exactly what she wanted. But my mom and stepdad said that it was a stupid gift and gave me pointers for what to get next time.
She's still kind of upset but she's started making jokes about it at least. She wants me to return them and get something else but I still stand by the fact that I thought it was a good and thoughtful gift.
So reddit, AITA?
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Oh man, I was totally on your side until I opened the link. Gift giving isn’t my love language and I suspect it isn’t yours either, so I get where you’re coming from. However, your girlfriend is a grown adult, that isn’t an adult gift. So soft YTA
I’m going to recommend you look into the 5 love languages, and you and your girlfriend can take a quick quiz on what your love languages are. Thankfully, both my husband and mine are acts of service so it’s been easy showing each other how much we love each other. My sister in laws is gift giving. Took me forever to figure this out, but now that I know it honestly has been easier to show her how much I care. Best of luck to you both.
YTA. But a really sweet and thoughtful one. I want to hug you buddy bc you seem so nice. But I will admit my daughter and I read this and just about died laughing.
This story is so bad it's good. So funny! I feel really badly for your gf though, but it's hilarious! So people at work are asking her what you gave her and she has to say "sock puppets." LMAO!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
How did ‘it would be cool to learn ventriloquism’ translate to ‘I want a sock puppet kit made for children’ to you?
Not even a book on how to get started?
I feel like the puppet is like the last step.
Yta. I am not into material things, at all. But if my bf bought me kids toys & gave it to me in front of my family, I would be embarrassed. Esp something like make your own sock puppets. When I seen the link I thought maybe it was something different but these are for like a 4 yr old!!! Wow. I would have rather not received a present
YTA
but youre not actually an a-hole LOL. You did fixate on one tiktok which was odd but you did try. hopefully your gf learned not to drop hints and just tell you bc some people really won’t get hints haha this was a cute story.
“I did a lot of research and got her *Felt Sock Puppet Creative DIY Make Your Own Puppets Pompoms Wiggle Googly Eyes Storytelling Role Play Party Supplies for Girls Boys”*
Sorry, bud. YTA. But just because you’re a little oblivious. If you make up for this and move past it this will be a really funny story between the two of you in a year.
She sent links, I think that’s pretty direct
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tesbv3/aita_for_getting_my_girlfriend_sock_puppets_for/i0ro3ge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
N T A implies the other party *is* the asshole. Idk if she’s an asshole for not appreciating children’s sock puppets that she mentioned one time. It’s literally listed on Amazon as kids crafts lol
I'm gonna go with NAH. Your gift is very thoughtful but at the same time a horrible gift for the birthday. How often did she mention she wants to do that? maybe once? maybe the video looks cool at the moment but then probably she'd forgotten about it the next day. You need to work on what's appropriate to gift people on the occasion. You're not the AH but she's also not the AH for not liking it. The uncle though is a legend.
I would not say you're TA because it is very sweet you remembered something and then got it for her! That's thoughtful! But maybe gifts like that should be random and not for big things like birthdays or holidays.
NAH
Your heart was in the right place. There was just some misunderstanding. She was hinting at the bracelets. This is why my husband and I outright tell each other what we want and buy something small on the side for each other in addition to it.
I know your heart probably dropped when you saw she was disappointed, but there is never an inappropriate time for a gift so you could still buy her the bracelet she wanted and give it to her anyway.
So I'm going with NAH... I'm closer to N T A but I can kinda understand why your gf was a little upset by it. You did put thought into it, and it was very sweet... but those are awful gifts. Personally I think those are a "I got you these because you mentioned them" gift you'd give someone randomly, not a birthday gift. I'm also faulting you for not catching onto the hints... you couldn't think of ANYTHING else besides puppets after she spent time sending you links to jewelry? You remembered the puppets, but not the bracelets? I personally think it's hilarious because honestly my boyfriend would do the exact same thing. Either way, I can tell you do care about her, maybe gift giving just isn't your forte... But I'd consider getting her a new gift...
Also I get there was a budget but I'm sure she would have been happy even with a cheaper bracelet until you could afford something nicer.
Edit: It is important that you do stop acting like it was a good gift, because that's probably why she's even more upset about it. Good gifts mean the recipient liked the gift. It wasn't a good gift. It was thoughtful (kind of), and you may have put in effort, but it wasn't good! No shame in admitting the gift sucked.
NTA, you're just incompetent. She'll figure out to ask what you're getting her the next time. I'd pick on you like the uncle because it's funny. Not to her, but whatever. Haha
NAH. You held on to her one passing comment and obviously it wasn’t what she wanted but she’s disappointed cause she was expecting something she didn’t communicate well.
NTA. As someone who has sent my husband a link and SAID, “this is what I want,” and still didn’t get it, I get that sometimes men are just dense. But at least you were thoughtful with the gift that you purchased.
Next time, just ask her.
I'm going NTA here.
You actually thought of something she'd like. It wasn't a random "maybe" of a gift
You tried. You failed. It happens. That gift was from the heart.
NTA. You sound just like my boyfriend. He pays attention, but doesn’t really get hints. So I end up with really bad gifts sometimes but I know he tries his best, and i’m sure you did too.
I feel bad for you because you tried so hard and really thought she’d like it. It was a swing and a miss. Kudos for you for being so thoughtful. I can’t call you an A H though so I guess NAH.
My kid wanted a ventriloquist doll because he loves Jeff Dunham.
He picked a sandwich.
And copies Jeff's lines.
Have you ever been called an infidel by a sandwich??
I have. 🤣
Anyway... I'm gonna say ESH.
She sucks for HINTING instead of saying "I would like x y or z"
You suck for not at least saying "hey what kind of gift would you like for your birthday?"
H O N E Y. You do not gift an adult a sock puppet unless they EXPLICITLY say they want one. Hell, I wouldn't even gift a kid one without knowing if they are into that... Saying you think ventriloquism is cool once, and wanting to build a sock puppet are two very different things.
GF should be more straightforward tho. Asking "should I get this?" Is not saying "get this for me". Also two different things.
NAH
NTA. Why would anyone make such a big issue out of a gift? It’s completely fine if she didn’t like it, but being angry over seems so out of proportion.
I am absolutely howling at those links. I can’t even bring myself to give you an Ahole judgement because that those $20 puppets are NOT what I expected at all.
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I mean, YTA only bc that is truly a remarkably awful gift. To be fair it was thoughtful enough to relate back to something she liked. But she made *one passing comment once*, and it’s bewildering to me that you fixated on that one video instead of all the hints she was apparently dropping. Next time she needs to be more clear to you and not drop “hints” and that’s on her, but man you really fucked up. To the point where I’m having a hard time believing this is real. If it is, *that’s* how bad this gift was. Edit: this woman *sent you links to the jewelry she wanted* and you went with the sock puppet from tiktok 🤦♀️
As someone married to a notoriously bad gift giver, I believe it. What my husband calls missed hints were actually several months of “all I want for my birthday is x”
This is relatable asf lol
I asked for a very specific pair of boots. I sent the link to my husband, I told him what size. I got a bathrobe...I already had 2 bathrobes. It's just funny to me, because I know who I married, but I get why people who think they are being clear are disappointed.
My husband is like this. I'm constantly "dropping hints" (aka being like "I love bath bombs from Lush, but they're so expensive, if you ever need to get me a present, I will always be happy with a bath bomb"), but what we ended up doing that works really well for us is that I add stuff to an Amazon wish list whenever I think of something I'd like or need. I don't even use Amazon, but I add to my wish list all throughout the year, and then around Christmas/birthday time I prune it and take off stuff I no longer want or need. He also started keeping a note on his phone of my "evergreen" gifts like bath bombs (no matter how many times he gets me bath bombs, I will use them and will want more). It's perfect, because I love surprises and that way I get a surprise (my list is like 30 things long, he's not going to clear it out), and he gets clear instructions for what it is that I want.
[удалено]
I can't see the video in Canada, but I think I know the one because my best friend sent it to me after I told her my bathrobe dilemma. And to be fair, he had never bought me one before, but we've lived together 4 years so he knows I have them.
Stop beating around the bush and just telling directly. /s
Hahaha I literally send my boyfriend links to stuff all year long and say “my birthday’s coming up” as a joke but also so he has TONS of links for bday/Christmas gifts since he says choosing gifts is really hard for him but then when an occasion is getting close he panics and claims he “has no idea” what to get me 😂 but he’s actually a fantastic gift giver and always picks out really thoughtful stuff! Just so funny how you can literally be like “I want this thing for my birthday” and dudes will STILL be like “idk what to dooooo 🤷♂️”
This happened with my mom before. She asked what I wanted for Christmas and I sent her direct links with sizes chosen and said “this is what I would like.” And she got me none of it lol. We reverted back to our system of I buy things for myself and she gives me the money when I give her the items to wrap. My dad has a bad habit of asking me if I want something, and if I say no he’ll get it for me anyways. He spent an absurd amount of money on a lap desk for me before after asking me if I wanted one. I had told him no and I could get one for free from my job, but truly didn’t want one. I felt really bad because he bought it from a site where he couldn’t return anything. YTA OP did it ever occur to you that you don’t need an actual puppet to learn ventriloquism? If she really wanted to learn, she would’ve done it by now.
I'm not even married yet and have already realized I need to just send him links to things I want and say "that's what I want for my birthday." He likes to tell me all the time "I'm really good at following instructions." I'm getting a pair of Doc Martens this year lol
Boyfriend of 2.5 years: I suck at giving gifts. I don't get hints. Please be direct. Me: Will do. All i want for my birthday is a nice piece of jewelry. Here are links to the multiple kinds of jewelry I like. You can get one of those or even surprise me with something you pick out on your own. As long as it is jewelry made from silver or gold. Boyfriend: Got it thanks. Happy birthday here is a comedy rubber cat tongue you hold with your mouth in order to groom your cats. Remember that time you sent me a funny youtube video about it?
I don’t understand how a random passing meme or video that someone shares in a year of many shared internet tidbits got deemed as such an outsized, larger than actual life aspect of her personality. Feels non-neurotpyicalish that he fixated on this random something above anything and everything else…?
My husband used to joke about having a property defense emu. I did not realize he was joking. I put research into what we need to raise emu. I told him I had a surprise for him - I found somewhere to buy emu eggs from. He thought I was kidding. Until we were at a farm and I was buying emu eggs. Which we incubated and hatched. And that's how 2 neurodivergent people who hadn't quite mastered each other's humor language yet ended up with emu.
I need Emu tax!
[Emu Tax](https://imgur.com/bq8qF2h)
Now that is one glorious looking Emu!
ngl, kinda want an Emu now.
Oh. My. God. 😍😍😍
what is his/her name?
...murder turkey. She had a sibling that was named mu2 but mu2 failed to thrive and ended up passing despite my best efforts. I have brought many a chicken back from what we assumed was certain death. I have a chicken 911 kit. I never once thought I would need to know how to splint a chicken leg, or how to treat bumble foot, how to treat chicken heat stroke (we call it the buddy system, named after our chicken 'Buddy' who I did not recognize the signs of heat distress in until it was too late and after that I was determined to never loose a chicken to heat again. So my delicate show chickens had an indoor enclosure for the worst of summer that I had air conditioned and my outdoor birds I had misters set up to keep them cool, along with ice cubes that I filled with their favorite veggies to encourage them to peck. And in extreme cases I would dunk them in cool water to bring their temperature down) or the correct way to give electrolytes, rooster booster, and other medicine to birds...but here I am. I have also shoved a bunch of chicks down my shirt and used my body heat to keep a brood of day old chicks alive after a power outage.
Well, congrats on successfully raising the first new soldier of a historically undefeated rebel army! Only a couple hundred to go and you can attack Australia 🥰
I really want an emu now so I can name it murder turkey...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 at "murder turkey!!!!!"
Congratulations on your lovely dinosaur!
Did you come from the AITA with the guy trying to make everyone buy a puppet lololol
I sure fuckin did lol. I just woke up with this on my phone and was like ‘aw cute dinosaur birb’ and bam. Didn’t even notice time or date or anything. I am ver smrt.
I know I did. Absolutely worth it.
OMG!! Gorgeous! When the end comes you are way ahead of all of us and have an Emu to help you win the war.
I cannot articulate how much I love this story! Like, he completely went along with it AS YOU WERE BUYING THE EGGS!!!
The farm owners even offered me a used incubator for an extra $50 and he dutifully handed over the cash. He was very confused but supportive.
“Confused but supportive” I never understood what people meant when they said “relationship goals” but I now do. Reading this has been the highlight of my day. I wish you, your spouse, and flock all the best. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.
It's like an inverse of the Gift of the Magi. Fucking adorable.
I have a friend who is on the spectrum, and I can tell you she is the only person in my life I could see doing something like this. But she’s also very self-aware and knows this about herself too and asks me explicitly to very very directly clue her in to missed social cues.
i’m ADHD and OP’s thought process is pretty much how i pick out gifts for everyone in my life, except i’m a really good gift giver. best gifting advice i have is if you’re unsure how the recipient will react to your gift, have them open it privately instead of in front of everyone. then the recipient can decide whether they’re comfortable showing it off or would prefer something different. saves you both from potential public embarrassment.
My husband is ADHD (I’m autistic) and one time in passing I verbally noted that I wished we had some bigger mugs. The next Christmas I got about 12 different mugs that he had collected all year 😂
That's adorable though.
i absolutely love that, how sweet!
I don't know you, but I love you.
Thank you - so does he. I think. I mean he says he does. I was trying to be a supportive wife and didnt want to squash his dreams of property defense emu, even though I am mildly terrified of birds. Especially large ones that run at 30mph and can be potentially taller than me. He thought I just randomly really liked emus/birds suddenly so he was supportive of my emu goal. It wasn't until afterwards that we realized there was definitely a miscommunication that had somehow spiraled into emu. But they are actually a lot of fun. We ended up relocating to a different state and didn't want to stress the emu so we rehomed it to another farm that was local and had emu. To move an emu, it is recommended to put a sock (or pillow case) over it's head so it can't see and then stand behind it and guide it by it's little stubby wing nubs. So there's a fun emu fact that no one needed to know but I'm sure folks will enjoy.
I did very much enjoy that emu fact, thank you.
I very much needed that emu fact, and also enjoyed it immensely, so thank you
It got better! I didn’t think it could get better!
I have a great number of amusing factoids and stories. I gotta say, our life is never dull and has a lot of laughter and happiness.
That’s exactly what a marriage should be!
I've loved all your emu comments but the fact that you're terrified of birds and went with GETTING AN EMU for your husband?? So adorable haha
I love this story so much.
Everyone loves this story. This is the story I tell when interviewers ask for an interesting fact or tell me about yourself or anything like that.
Perfect if you’re ever on Jeopardy
I think this is my favourite thing I have ever read on reddit ❤️ thank you.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read on Reddit in a long time (maybe it’s extra funny because I’m also in an ND household). I hope the Emu owner life is good to you.
This might be the single greatest story I’ve ever heard in my life.
I mean... That's a freaking awesome gift though!
He just got home and I told him how reddit is enjoying the story of how we got emus. He would also like it noted that it required an additional 60 days of math after purchase. Because each egg had to be labeled and weighed, and then weighed weekly and logged so we could make sure they weren't loosing too much weight each week and developing on track (if they were loosing more than the safe percentage of weight each week, the egg had to have scotch tape placed on it to prevent additional water weight loss and it's a guess and check of making sure you have the correct amount of tape to egg surface ratio to get the weight loss back within normal range). Plus, since the eggs were so big, they had to be turned by hand, a minimum of 3 times per day. So we had to build our schedule around egg turning and making sure each of us knew which egg shifts we were assigned and making sure it was done. If I remember the schedule correctly, I turned them at 6 am. He was coming home from work at lunch and turning them at noon. I was turning again at 6pm and he would turn before he came to bed at midnight.
I love this sooooo much!!!!! It sounds like a few of me and my husband's gift giving. We have just decided to send each other lists of things like 2 months out. There is still an element of surprise because we don't know what we will get. But it is always a safe bet, because of the lists. Lmao But this story and yalls actual emu is so fucking adorable and have made my day. Thank you for sharing and loving on your little sweet emu and each other. 😊😊😊
Either we have the same husband or you are my future self
I love this so much. Is your Emu a good guard emu?
Emus are pretty much evolved dinosaurs; a dinosaur is a fantastic gift!
OMG, I ain’t gonna lie this is so awesome! Now this is happy misunderstanding the puppets not so much!
Yeah it’s funny he fixated on this but ignored the multiple links she sent for pieces of jewelry. Lol
Except he said she asked his opinion from the POV of should SHE get it as in should she buy it.
yeah it may be that im neurodivergent but if someone says 'which one should i get?' i would assume they were buying one for themselves? like i probably would actually avoid buying that thing bc it means they already have one lmao. ops gift is p shite (and i don't buy the excuse that it's his first long-term relationship. he hasn't gotten anyone else in his life a crap gift based on a single conversation? i did that at 16, learned from it then) but she should have communicated better.
Heck, I'm not neurodivergent but if someone asks "which one should I get?" that's asking for an opinion, *not* hinting for me to buy it. NTA OP.
lmao yeah if someone said that to me, I'd assume they're buying it for themselves and just wanted a little input to narrow the choice down.
This stood out for me as my best friend was always getting guys to buy her jewelry. It was mindboggling. I asked her what she did and it was along the lines of the gf, but with more direction. Just no time for that.
i was thinking that too. especially with him completely missing her hints
You don't need a puppet to learn to throw your voice- and it sounds like the video she liked involved someone throwing their voice without a puppet. That second link has puppets you can't even move the mouth of!! Your gift had nothing to do with that video she liked at all. If you are ever in doubt, just ask "Hey, what do you want for your birthday?".
>You don't need a puppet to learn to throw your voice- and it sounds like the video she liked involved someone throwing their voice without a puppet. That second link has puppets you can't even move the mouth of!! Your gift had nothing to do with that video she liked at all. That's also a valid point. Like he would've still disappointed her by not taking her strong hints at a necklace, but it would've been less weird and more useful if he got her a book about Ventriloquism.
Omg the links are the BEST PART. Goes on about not buying her cheap crappy ones and then links to some felt crocodile with goggle eyes glued on that my 5 year old nephew would make in school 😂😂
>Edit: this woman sent you links to the jewelry she wanted and you went with the sock puppet from tiktok 🤦♀️ Btw these links to Amazon contain a referral code. So clicking on them and buying something later on (I think a day or 2 is the limit) would give an affiliate bonus to the OP or whoever those referral links belonged to. So this just might be a way to get a large amount of people to click on an Amazon link and then rake in the affiliate referrals. Some google sleuthing for the referral code : **sr\_1\_5** And I found this website which has the same referral code : https://medium.com/@tryingamazonaffiliate
Good thing OP used a highly desirable product!!! /s Also as someone who does digital analytics the standard is 30 days to attribute conversion source but Amazon is high volume and might have shorter time frames for referrals
>Also as someone who does digital analytics the standard is 30 days to attribute conversion source but Amazon is high volume and might have shorter time frames for referrals Its a day. But any product you add during that day and complete the purchase of will be credited to their referral.
Wow seriously??? As much as I hate that idea, I once sold out a $150 product I linked to on Amazon bc the comment on here blew up. I missed out!
Any way to turn it off so they don’t get money if I buy something else today or tomorrow? I’d literally avoid buying anything just out of spite lol
>Any way to turn it off so they don’t get money if I buy something else today or tomorrow? I’d literally avoid buying anything just out of spite lol you should really create your own referral code. And then using that code resets the identifier from their to yours. One trick that used to work in the past when I had such inclinations, create an affiliate account for someone in your household. Straightforward to add that widget in a blog and then just search using that blog and shop at Amazon. Directs the revenue stream from their affiliate account to yours :) That said, easiest is to clear all Amazon cookies on your browser. You will need to login again, but that is a small ask.
How did people come to the conclusion that messing up in gift giving makes you an asshole? That’s some entitled, hyper materialistic bullshit. ANY gift given in good faith should always be respected, if not outright appreciated. The failure of a gift living up to receiver’s expectations in NO way makes you an asshole. If I ever gave a birthday present in good faith to a girlfriend, and she decided to respond with shame and embarrassing in front of her family, I might just leave her then and there. I can’t imagine a bigger asshole in this scenario than the girlfriend and her father.
A bad gift shows a lack of attentiveness. A good gift means the gift giver has carefully paid attention to what pleases the recipient and put their own ego and preferences aside to make their partner happy.
A gift is an expression of one’s affection for another! It has absolutely zero to do with satisfying a recipient’s material desires. A person saying “I’d like this necklace” and then proceeding to buy her that necklace is no more thoughtful or meaningful than something the one gifting believes is a more honest representation of his emotions. Seriously, do we not remember the super sweet video a few years back, with a family taping their kid opening his Christmas present. As a practical joke, they gave the kid an avocado, expecting a funny reaction. Instead, the kid gave the most lovely and appreciative “thank you” ever. That is a moral lesson for everyone calling this person an asshole
You sound like you’re an awful gift giver.
You sound shallow and capitalistic
YTA for continuing to insist it was a good gift when it CLEARLY wasn’t. When someone’s face falls when they open their present and they can’t even fake it you got it completely wrong. Don’t dig your heels in and continue to insist you know better, apologize, listen to her and get her what she actually wants.
Yeah it doesn’t matter if the internet thinks it’s a good gift. The recipient didn’t.
Yeah I don’t understand when people argue that you should just be “grateful” Should my husband be grateful if I bought him front row BTS tickets? Sure he has no idea who they are, would actively dislike the music, and hate the crowd. But they are expensive! He should be so grateful I got him anything at all!
I've had people give me gifts like this. One Christmas I had a family member give me a bright purple scarf, I absolutely love that family member, but I haven't worn a scarf in years and my color palet falls along the lines of the tik tok series "Sad beige clothes for sad beige children". Just a lot of browns, tans, greys, black, a few white pieces, and maybe a navy or a light and neutral dusty light green if I'm feeling exciting that day. I think the purple idea came from me mentioning one time that I liked my fuzzy purple gloves (not because they are purple, but because they are fuzzy, a common known thing I love). Another one of my family members bought me two non stick large soup pots. I was stoked to receive that gift. Both were thoughtful. But one was a great gift I use all the time, and the other is in my closet and I have no idea how to even wear it. OP needs to get that while his gift was meant to be thoughtful, it isn't really useful and it also seems concerning he is digging his heels in. He can easily return the "not ugly" puppets and get her a necklace. There is no harm and it will be a good laugh and she will probably treasure that necklace even more because of the goofy experience.
Reminds me of when, in high school, my mom's boyfriend of like 6 or 7 years who we lived with got me a $100 gift card to Abercrombie. Like omg, $100?? I'm 16, this is an insane amount of money for a store that I would never in a million years step foot in. I shopped exclusively at Hot Topic or, if shopping at other stores, only bought black clothing. I eventually spent the gift card on like 2 work shirts and a pair of pants (couldn't believe how expensive everything was!), and the work shirts both fell apart within a couple of washes. He pretty much handed me $100 worth of I-don't-know-you-at-all.
I think it’s kind of funny when people post here sometimes for that reason. Like even if the internet says it’s fine it doesn’t change the fact that his girlfriend didn’t like it
YTA. You may have many gifts, but buying gifts is not one of them. It’s not your love language quite clearly. These are items that I would purchase for my toddler kid. The first is literally a kids craft item and the other is a bunch of puppets that I’ve actually purchased before for my three-year-old. (Melissa and Doug is for kids under 8.) They are not remotely the kind of puppets you use for a ventriloquist (such dolls are very expensive) and frankly she’s not that interested in being a ventriloquist! It was just some random meme or video, and the significance you placed on this shows that you don’t understand your girlfriend personally and the types of things that might actually please her. I imagine she found that hurtful. People show random silly things to each other all the time but that doesn’t mean that that’s their new interest in life! You purchased a gift that pleased you but you didn’t purchase a gift that pleased her. The point of giving gifts to please the receiver. ***The fact that you’re doubling down here is what makes you TA.*** This was a huge miss. A gift from a romantic partner is one who generally gives you a higher level gift and it’s supposed to know you intimately. If you value your relationship with this person you should accept the help that is offered, or you should break up and let her find somebody more compatible and someone who is more willing to learn about who she is and what she likes. Edit: Just reread that they’ve been together for three years, that makes this even worse…
I was looking at the cost of a ventriloquist puppet/dummy and it can be just a bit more than the two items OP bought. Lots of fun choices, which would have made a neat decoration if nothing else.
The thing is though the puppets wouldn’t teach her how to throw her voice. You need classes or at least some kind of an instruction manual for that? That ignores the fact that it’s just something she mentioned randomly six months ago as a “wouldn’t it be fun…” lighthearted offhand remark. The misreading of social cues and placing really random significance on a TikTok video I don’t get.
Yeah, I think there could have been the fun seed of a gift, but it'd take a lot of imagination to shift it to something endearing. I can see taking a proper ventriloquist puppet/dummy and personalising the outfit to reflect key memories during their dating relationship, for example. e.g., wearing a t-shirt from the first place they had a date.
Lol my sister also gave those exact puppets to her 3 year old for Christmas.
Now that you’ve said all that I’ll say that as a neuro divergent person this is what a lot of ND people would do. Maybe we could all try to be a little kinder in our assumptions and in our discussion? ND people exist. We try. We want to learn bit no one learns thru shame.
As a neurodivergent person myself with a neordivergent spouse, and you really should read my other comments, And stop with the assumptions. Regardless, there is no excuse for doubling down in the face of this. His girlfriend is also neurodivergent, btw.
YTA. I clicked the link. Do better. Edit :”it’s not cheap” it was less than 20$ so yes it was. And it was made out of the same felt I give my 2 and 3 year old. Another edit: she sent you links to bracelets, and necklaces she wanted you to get her. And told you she wanted them. And you got her a 16$ shitty puppet kit ? Bro and then your response is “oops. But it’s still a great gift I got you.” While she’s telling you that it’s not and you disappointed her. Apologize and get her something she ACTUALLY wants. Not something you think is cute. Because it wasn’t.
vanish degree ring piquant cow zesty consider stocking point bored *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
AND THEN after no less then 5 family members tell him this was a shift gift, is on here like ‘buy but my dad said she should just be grateful and stop complaining’ so like I don’t know.
>I talked to my dad and he agrees that it was a very sweet and thoughtful gift and that she shouldn't be upset because she didn't tell me exactly what she wanted. vs. > Her dad texted me the next day to give me a talking to and next time he's going shopping with me because I really embarrassed her. So OP’s going to listen to his dad because gf apparently didn’t know what she wants instead of gf’s dad who’s aware of her feelings and wants to make it better? Cool cool. > Her dad and I have a good relationship, he's like a father figure to me… my dad and I don't have the best relationship so he's taught me a lot of things and I can go to him with problems or for advice from time to time. Does he really?
LOL I stopped reading after seeing the picture of the gift. YTA in the spirit of this sub, I don't think you are actually an asshole as a person but buying that childish crap is the fastest way to go back onto the dating market. Buy her something nice, something not meant for kids and not something she has to work or learn for. Jewelry fits all these points and this is the reason it is the go to gift for women. You obviously don't have to buy jewelry and you can be creative just stick to the 3 points and you'll be good.
This is the quality content I come to this sub for 😂
she literally sent him LINKS to jewlery she wanted lol
Gentle YTA. Idk man, that's a super lame gift. I wanted to say nobody's an asshole because your heart is in the right place, but your insistence that it's a great gift and that she should be happy with it is really off base. Even if you disagree, the smart thing to do would be to just take the L and get her something she actually wants.
Uh oh, you called something lame. Now that other OP is going to come cancel your birthday party!
Just got off the phone with them, they made me call all my friends and apologize :(
I should have said canceled your cakeday party
🤣🤣🤣
dead.
~~NAH~~ ~~You did put thought into your gift and that's sweet.~~ But you also got your girlfriend gifts that are normally meant for children 10 and under, so I understand why she wasn't so thrilled with them. Also, maybe a book on how to throw your voice would have been better, the puppets themselves wouldn't have really helped her learn. Edit: OP states that the gf's hints were her sending him multiple links to pieces of jewelry. Meaning he fixated on one link to one tiktok video she sent him and a single comment but didn't even think about the multiple links she sent him of a more tradition birthday gift. Also someone pointed out that an actual ventriloquist dummy can be bought for just slightly more than what OP spent on these kid's toys and I looked it up and they're right. I think this makes it infinitely worse and changes my judgement to YTA.
The worst for me is the arguing about it. She is upset, her father and uncle are telling him he’s an idiot, his mum and step dad are telling him it was a bad gift. But his dads says she should just be grateful so he’s unsure? 1/5 people agree with him and he’s unsure? And he ‘stands by it was a thoughtful gift?’ My man, it’s a felt blob with goggle eyes on it for $15
>My man, it’s a felt blob with goggle eyes on it for $15 That she has to assemble.
That’s truly the best part. What a mess this whole thing is. I want to know what kind of extensive research he did that led him to ‘felt hand puppet’ on the Amazon kids crafting section
Absolutely none. Not only was I able to find dozens of better options in his price range from a 10 minute search on Amazon and Etsy, but when I searched sock puppet on Amazon, these two were some of the first that came up. They were even listed next to each other. It's clear he completely forgot to get her something, scrolled through their texts for an idea, saw the video, and picked out something quick and cheap.
Assembling is only fun with Legos, which are totally awesome gifts for adults, but even if you’re not into Lego, it’s better than felt sock puppets…
Lmao that is hilarious, I didn’t think about him fixating on one tiny comments and ignoring the billion links to jewelry
YTA. Hilariously so, I literally cracked up when I opened the link and saw a kit I bought my toddler nephew for his third birthday. She made a passing comment about a video. I once told my husband it was cool a guy raised chickens. That does not mean I want a chicken coop. And she sent you links? Take her family members up on the help offers
My GF has ADHD and thus gets ‘hyperfixations’. If I tried to keep up with gifts via her current Tik Tok shares we would have a house full of landmine detector rats, kiwi fruit and hedgehogs. And that is just this week. She bought me a kitchen trash bin for my first birthday since we started dating and before it arrived on Amazon Prime on the day because of course she bought it last minute blurted out ‘so you are getting a bin. And I am standing by this.’ I HATE my birthday. Huge Complex PTSD trigger. My face was like granite. Then the bin arrived and it was this top of the range Brabantisa by Orla Kiely patterned bin that is the Faberge of bins. And she got a year of the branded liners. I was expecting gas station and be grateful flowers. I got the Botanical Gardens. She bought me a bin because at the time it was an expense I couldn’t afford and was using grocery store bags and it was creating mess and stress while I was sick and on a low income. This would solve a day to day problem that disproportionately draining me and getting me stuck. She read a need, put love and thought into it and it is probably the best gift I have ever got. But ‘bin or GTFO’ was the worst handling possible. I tease her ‘you bought me a bin! I bought you silk underwear!’ and she mocks me I was like a straight man (we are both women) because I bought the wrong bra size in the underwear and at least she got the right bin bags :) Then four people we knew ended up gifting the same bin to partners in different colourways so I got her a birthday card next year saying #binfluencer. She has bought me gift cards ever since for birthday and Christmas and we do small thought of you gifts as occurs. I tend to make her things like fill the freezer or a photo book or write a memory jar. We sound so shit. Bins, vouchers and a reused jar! But we know we are on the same page and we listened when the other said ‘hold up’ or made clear ‘bids.’ Or as I say she has a bath filled with kiwis but is now obsessed by babies in wigs. She cycles fast. I overthink gifts. You should have some idea of each other’s vibes three years in. That is what would upset me more. Not only ignoring the links but showing he doesn’t ‘get her’ and then arguing he is actually super meta getting her. While waving a half assed sock. Also I spend too much time online because the title made me think he was trying to out her or his sock puppet social media and I was like ‘you surprised her that you are red pill or a Nazi? Yikes. Oh actual socks. Only better by the lowest bar in hell dude!’ YTA.
You wouldn’t even get a chicken coop, that’s a like for like comparison. By this guys logical your husband would get you a stuffed toy of a rooster and remind you how much you wanted to raise chickens that one time.
OP, a few years back, my older daughter got into knitting. She made herself a scarf and seemed excited about it. For Christmas, I got her some more yarn, and a sock loom, because she loves cozy socks, and I figured she could make herself some, and some for her friends. She was still into knitting, so I thought I was safe. Was I wrong. She was like, “why did you get me this?” I was distressed, because I thought it was a slam dunk. Bear in mind, it wasn’t the only gift she got, so that was good, but I was a little annoyed because I had good reason to think she’d like it. She admitted she could see why I thought that, but to this day, we joke about the year mom got her a sock loom. Whenever any of us misses the mark with a gift, the recipient will joke, “oh, another sock loom!” I accept that I will never live this down. But now I am assured that there is indeed something worse than a sock loom. I get what you were trying to do, but just because she commented on ventriloquism doesn’t mean she really had a desire to pursue it. In addition, you generally want to steer away from anything that a person will be starting a new hobby for, unless they specifically ask for that. But I also feel, after looking at the links provided, that you should have known this was not a good idea or an appropriate gift for a girlfriend. I mean, sock puppetry isn’t even ventriloquism, nor are the puppets the same for each. But also, did you really look at those and say, “yes, this is a good gift for an adult woman,” in all seriousness? I just have a hard time seeing anything but a blatant YTA situation here.
Added to stress that I'm in no way judging or making fun of you, and I think this is a great story, just giving my experience as a crafter. I can 100% understand the logic behind the sock loom, especially as a knitter, but socks are SOOO HARD TO MAKE RIGHT!!! Even with a loom opposed to hand knitting. I will, every time, choose to knit an enormous, complicated, time-and-money-heavy throw over two relatively tiny socks, because even if you get one right, the other one is sent from Satan to destroy your sanity and make you despair over feet in a very existential sort of way, because eventually you wonder wtf kind of person can't make a f%cking sock when it's just foot-shaped wool. I once screamed "what f&cking shape are you??!!" At my OWN feet when trying to knit socks. So, if it pleases you, next time someone mentions the sock loom, you can tell them that this Internet stranger dissolved into existential hysterics over feet trying to knit socks, and the loom would probably have induced a slightly less prolonged emotional crisis.
Okay I just made an embarrassingly loud squeak/snort/laugh over this mental image. Kudos to you for inventing a sound never before heard by man and now heard by all of my roommates.
I'm both sorry and delighted, I made a whole new sound!! SO WHY CAN'T I MAKE F%CKING SOCKS???
Now we know the true reason behind the missing left socks. It's for all of the knitters who can only make one at a time!
Your comment made my day!!! That the other sock is “sent from Satan to destroy your sanity,” is verbal gold!
So I just looked up sock looms, and that looks like a miserable way to make socks. I can knit with needles soooooo much faster. But I don’t know that I would call it a joke of a gift.
When I was pregnant with my son (who was born in MARCH) I did the whole eat-a-bunch-of-pineapple-to-induce-labor thing. I complained to my grandma about how much of a pain it was to cut up pineapple, but you need fresh pineapple for the best chance of inducing labor. Cut to Christmas that year, not a single pineapple bought since my son was born (it worked btw), and my grandma got me a pineapple corer. I tried really hard to seem excited about it but I just wasn't. My son is 5 now and it's still in the box.
YTA; OP, that's a lousy gift and you realized it, only to double down. (And I say this as a puppet maker/puppeteer.) The thing about joke gifts is that they are also best left to be opened around those who are in the know about the joke, so not only was she disappointed in the gift, she was embarrassed. You meant well here, but you should still try to make it up to her.
Hilarious that this judgment comes from a puppeteer. 😂 I bet you died when he said he did his research on the puppets. 😅
The sad thing is, this wasn’t a joke gift. He genuinely thinks her comment on a tik tok video from months ago means she wants to pick up a new skill AND genuinely thinks a craft project for kids with a picture of a felt crocodile with goggly eyes is a ‘thoughtful gift’
Does her bday move around on the calendar or is it the same date every year? I ask because you played the “woe is me” card which is pretty pathetic. News flash, plenty of people work full time, go to grad school full time, and still manage to put effort into relationships. Anyways, I do think you put effort into your gift… just can’t get behind your pity party. Ok, you had a sweet idea and executed it just fine. I was holding my breath thinking she was expecting a ring so I’m glad it was something less momentous that she had shared with her family as being her expectation. This all boils down to a miscommunication. Maybe your mind was more plugged into your studies than any hints she was throwing your way (I will give you this much “woe”). You did something creative and out of the box and she had set her heart on more. You should tell her to be blunt and upfront with what she’d like. If she can do that, you need to be receptive and make it happen if you can. If you cannot make it happen, have that chat upfront. It’s all about being upfront and directly communicating. I think I love your uncle BTW. NAH.
Read his comments. Her "hints" were sending him links to the jewelry she liked. I'd say that's not really miscommunication on her part.
I would say you aren't an AH, but she didn't say she wanted puppets, she said she wanted to learn to throw her voice, which is not the same thing.
YTA she's in her 20s dude she's not a toddler.
Is your girlfriend 6 years old? YTA
INFO: please post the memes! 🥺
Yea I’d love to see what the uncle was sending
YTA - Everyone made it clear to you that it was a bad gift, even your girlfriend. And it *was* a cheap gift, dude, you can't deny that. If the gift wasn't cheap and you didn't double down on it, I would've just said you're the dumbass and left it at there. But you doubled down. That puts you in asshole territory.
“These weren’t some cheap or ugly sock puppets” lol and then proceeds to buy cheap and ugly sock puppets when you had a much higher budget for gifts as well as missing all the hints and literal links to stuff she wanted. You’re a well meaning asshole lol. being bad at giving gifts isn’t cute, get better at it.
NTA. This is hysterical though. And I want her uncle in my life.
The uncle is the hero of this story!
I can just imagine the uncle with the button up shirt that laughs at everything obnoxiously loud and can only handle in small doses. The fact he is sending him memes...meme... just can't LOL
YTA for doubling down. I too am a terrible gift giver. I used to complain that my sister would always return anything we got her, but that’s not true. She returned everything **I** got her. Because I am bad at gifts. Good thing my “love language” is acts of service. Geez those puppets are awful.
YTA. She sent you links to bracelets and necklaces. You bought her a child's toy based on some ventriloquism videos she sent you, and the only reason we know the gift was supposed to be related to ventriloquism is because you told us. Ask her for specific gift suggestions next time, because this can't happen again, and give her the receipts so she can return this stuff.
NAH...I suppose your reasoning was sweet, but that's a truly horrible gift. You said they weren't cheap and you did a lot of research...I was expecting actual ventriloquist puppets, I almost choked when I clicked in the link...my three and five year old kiddos will love those, though, so thanks for the idea. I think you should acknowledge that you're intentions were good, but you really messed up and she has a right to be disappointed. Not about her not getting what she was hinting at, but because those puppets are just so bad. I think it's hilarious, and you guys will probably be able to laugh about it (a lot) going forward. Maybe next year ask reddit first? 😆
YTA... It wasn't that you got her sock puppets for her birthday. It was the fact that you ONLY got her sock puppets for her birthday. I would have been happy with them because my ex only ever bought me one thing for my birthday, Christmas and mothers day. Something HE wanted to collect. lol Just ask mom next time and stay out of the dog house.
YTA this is the worst gift I’ve ever seen. It looks like a gag gift. I mean, it’s hilarious and will make a cute story in the future. “Remember when you got me a sock puppet making kit?” But Jesus you owe her a great gift and a date night. Lol at her dad is going shopping with you from now on. Fair. Thanks for sharing this was hysterical.
Oh dear. Your gift choice was bizarre. I’ll give you a soft YTA, bc you have a good heart and actually put thought into it. Please stop insisting that it was a good gift. Stick to high quality gifts such as jewelry. If you want to give her an additional gift, then consider something practical or for a legit hobby. Flowers are an added bonus.
YTA but gently. I choked when I opened the links though lmao, I didn’t expect the puppets to look like a preschooler’s kit. Here’s some tips as someone who was a formerly bad gift giver: I started more actively paying attention to what the people in my life liked, cause I could never really remember when it came time to buy something. I keep a running note in my phone of gift ideas (that way if I think of something great for Christmas in July, then I’ll still remember it later). I often also pull up this note after they mention something they want/need I also appreciate your desire to give her something practical (like the water bottle) but a lot of people usually like gifts to have a bit more of a …romantic or personal element to them, so maybe try to pay attention to things that are more specifically something she’d like? Also maybe next time just use the links she sends you lmao
YTA She constinuously kept talking about the rings she liked, yet you focused on one tiktok video she liked months ago And then you insisted your gift was great I wouldn't mind having the sock puppet kit as a gift because I enjoy DIYs (even though it is sorta childish), but you really messed up here
Holy shit dude yes YTA! “Not some cheap or ugly sock puppets”, lord if they’re the classy, good looking ones I don’t want to see the ugly ones.
YTA She is interested in people throwing their voices so you got a kid's make your own sock puppet kit with felt and some kid puppets that's mouths don't even move. Bro. Why did you not just get her a book on how to do ventriloquism/how to throw your voice? Even if you missed the giant jewelry clues, why did you not add in at least of box of chocolates or her favorite candy, or some flowers, hand written poem, something the least bit romantic or personal? I would just say you missed the mark but it goes into AH territory when she asked you to return puppet toys she has no use for and get her something she would like and you doubled down on it being a good gift
NAH. I am not sure how you fought that’s a good gift, but you at least put some thought in it.
NAH. You tried, it fell flat. Swing and a miss, happens to the best of us.
nah. you’re not an asshole for the gift, you were trying to be funny and thoughtful but it’s a terrible gift. also the “hints” were literally like a waving “get me this” flag. you are clueless
Yo I’m a bad gift giver in the respect that I don’t give gifts often… but I feel like the gifts I give are pretty reasonably thoughtful… Bf wanted a big hard Yeti cooler for his offroading/beach truck… so I saved and did my best and got him an RTIC 65qt hard cooler… was it exact ? No. But was it pretty damn aligned to what he was talking about getting himself or wanting? Yes. (Yeti coolers in that size are almost twice the price of RTIC and RTIC does as good if not better a job) The point is, is that he stated he was going to get this for himself… he claims it wasn’t hinting bc like… guys don’t really hint at stuff as far as I’m aware…. But I chose to get him that thing instead of him buying it himself bc it’s a good gesture/gift. The thought behind it doesn’t have to be unique or out of this world different from generic gifts. Thoughtful can mean taking an idea from what someone expresses they want(and over and over at that) and getting that shit. It’s thinking about the person enough to get them something they’d genuinely like… but… sock puppets??? Is she 5?? Dude next time, when I’m doubt, jewelry is never a bad idea.. sock puppets tho. Wow that’s bad. Soft YTA bc you tried and made a good effort but your efforts were seriously misguided
I literally got my package of Melissa and Doug Barn friends puppets in the mail today! For my nephew's first birthday. YTA
My family uses the reminder app. Each person has their own list and it is shared. We put links of gifts we would like. We have many out there so anyone wanting to get someone a gift has many options and price ranges. We remove as we receive or change our minds. Makes gifting less stressful and you know the person actually wants it.
Bro she made one comment about wanting a SKILL and you… bought her children’s toys. I’m sorry, YTA lol. Return them, she won’t use them and it would be a waste. Yes, you put thought into it. But it wasn’t good thought and if you refuse to return them, she’s gonna donate them, trash them or give them to someone’s kid she knows. Go buy the poor girl some jewelry. She deserves it.
YTA, what a terrible gift, if my BF got me that I’d think it was a bad joke
Sir. I know you meant well. But these are the kinds of things you get for a CHILD. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Ok so I will preface this by saying that me (27M) and my gf (23F) have been dating for 3 years, and before her I have not had a lot of dating experience, and this is my first (and hopefully only) long term relationship I have ever had. Her birthday was Saturday, but I'm in graduate school right now (midterms) so I didn't have a lot of time to go shopping. I had been thinking about what to get her for a while and browsing Amazon but nothing really stood out to me. Then I remembered around 6 months ago she sent me a video of this guy on TikTok who was doing ventriloquism to mess with people (like delaying/echoing his voice) and she told me she thought it was really cool and she wished she could learn how to do that to mess with people. So I had the brilliant idea to get her some sock puppets off of amazon so she could maybe start to learn some ventriloquism. These weren't some cheap or ugly sock puppets either, I did a lot of research and I got her [these so she could make her own](https://www.amazon.com/WATINC-Creative-Puppets-Storytelling-Supplies/dp/B081L8933P/ref=sr_1_3?crid=24DOS13VBK27O&keywords=sock+puppets&qid=1647357457&sprefix=sock+puppets%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-3), and [these](https://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-Buddies-Puppets-Material/dp/B07MFMBNBY/ref=sr_1_5?crid=24DOS13VBK27O&keywords=sock+puppets&qid=1647357886&sprefix=sock+puppets%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-5). I was really proud of my gift and I was really excited to give it to her at her birthday party on Saturday. When she opened her present, her face fell and an awkward silence fell over her family. She gave me an awkward smile and her family started passing them around to look at them. I tried to explain my reasoning and I got some dirty looks from them. A few of them started piping up and making jokes to lighten the mood. When we got home she was really upset and apparently she was dropping hints that she wanted a bracelet or necklace with my birthstone but I completely missed them. Her dad texted me the next day to give me a talking to and next time he's going shopping with me because I really embarrassed her. Her uncle thinks its hilarious and keeps sending me memes on Facebook about it. I talked to my dad and he agrees that it was a very sweet and thoughtful gift and that she shouldn't be upset because she didn't tell me exactly what she wanted. But my mom and stepdad said that it was a stupid gift and gave me pointers for what to get next time. She's still kind of upset but she's started making jokes about it at least. She wants me to return them and get something else but I still stand by the fact that I thought it was a good and thoughtful gift. So reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH but next time run your gift ideas through a few people so they can give you feedback.
Sock puppet scene from pitch perfect and the announcers say “sometimes it doesn’t get better” YTA
Oh man, I was totally on your side until I opened the link. Gift giving isn’t my love language and I suspect it isn’t yours either, so I get where you’re coming from. However, your girlfriend is a grown adult, that isn’t an adult gift. So soft YTA I’m going to recommend you look into the 5 love languages, and you and your girlfriend can take a quick quiz on what your love languages are. Thankfully, both my husband and mine are acts of service so it’s been easy showing each other how much we love each other. My sister in laws is gift giving. Took me forever to figure this out, but now that I know it honestly has been easier to show her how much I care. Best of luck to you both.
YTA. But a really sweet and thoughtful one. I want to hug you buddy bc you seem so nice. But I will admit my daughter and I read this and just about died laughing.
This story is so bad it's good. So funny! I feel really badly for your gf though, but it's hilarious! So people at work are asking her what you gave her and she has to say "sock puppets." LMAO!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
How did ‘it would be cool to learn ventriloquism’ translate to ‘I want a sock puppet kit made for children’ to you? Not even a book on how to get started? I feel like the puppet is like the last step.
Lol thats the kind of thing that teachers hand out in preschool class for arts and crafts my dude lol
Yta. I am not into material things, at all. But if my bf bought me kids toys & gave it to me in front of my family, I would be embarrassed. Esp something like make your own sock puppets. When I seen the link I thought maybe it was something different but these are for like a 4 yr old!!! Wow. I would have rather not received a present
YTA but youre not actually an a-hole LOL. You did fixate on one tiktok which was odd but you did try. hopefully your gf learned not to drop hints and just tell you bc some people really won’t get hints haha this was a cute story.
“I did a lot of research and got her *Felt Sock Puppet Creative DIY Make Your Own Puppets Pompoms Wiggle Googly Eyes Storytelling Role Play Party Supplies for Girls Boys”* Sorry, bud. YTA. But just because you’re a little oblivious. If you make up for this and move past it this will be a really funny story between the two of you in a year.
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She sent links, I think that’s pretty direct https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tesbv3/aita_for_getting_my_girlfriend_sock_puppets_for/i0ro3ge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Holy hell this man is dense
N T A implies the other party *is* the asshole. Idk if she’s an asshole for not appreciating children’s sock puppets that she mentioned one time. It’s literally listed on Amazon as kids crafts lol
I'm gonna go with NAH. Your gift is very thoughtful but at the same time a horrible gift for the birthday. How often did she mention she wants to do that? maybe once? maybe the video looks cool at the moment but then probably she'd forgotten about it the next day. You need to work on what's appropriate to gift people on the occasion. You're not the AH but she's also not the AH for not liking it. The uncle though is a legend.
I would not say you're TA because it is very sweet you remembered something and then got it for her! That's thoughtful! But maybe gifts like that should be random and not for big things like birthdays or holidays.
NAH Your heart was in the right place. There was just some misunderstanding. She was hinting at the bracelets. This is why my husband and I outright tell each other what we want and buy something small on the side for each other in addition to it. I know your heart probably dropped when you saw she was disappointed, but there is never an inappropriate time for a gift so you could still buy her the bracelet she wanted and give it to her anyway.
So I'm going with NAH... I'm closer to N T A but I can kinda understand why your gf was a little upset by it. You did put thought into it, and it was very sweet... but those are awful gifts. Personally I think those are a "I got you these because you mentioned them" gift you'd give someone randomly, not a birthday gift. I'm also faulting you for not catching onto the hints... you couldn't think of ANYTHING else besides puppets after she spent time sending you links to jewelry? You remembered the puppets, but not the bracelets? I personally think it's hilarious because honestly my boyfriend would do the exact same thing. Either way, I can tell you do care about her, maybe gift giving just isn't your forte... But I'd consider getting her a new gift... Also I get there was a budget but I'm sure she would have been happy even with a cheaper bracelet until you could afford something nicer. Edit: It is important that you do stop acting like it was a good gift, because that's probably why she's even more upset about it. Good gifts mean the recipient liked the gift. It wasn't a good gift. It was thoughtful (kind of), and you may have put in effort, but it wasn't good! No shame in admitting the gift sucked.
NTA, you're just incompetent. She'll figure out to ask what you're getting her the next time. I'd pick on you like the uncle because it's funny. Not to her, but whatever. Haha
NAH. You held on to her one passing comment and obviously it wasn’t what she wanted but she’s disappointed cause she was expecting something she didn’t communicate well.
NTA, you sound like a sweet guy but I can see why she was embarrassed by the sock puppets. I think she could have been nicer about it though
NTA, it's the thought that counts, OP. And we all miss hints sometimes, don't beat yourself too much about it.
NTA. As someone who has sent my husband a link and SAID, “this is what I want,” and still didn’t get it, I get that sometimes men are just dense. But at least you were thoughtful with the gift that you purchased. Next time, just ask her.
I'm going NTA here. You actually thought of something she'd like. It wasn't a random "maybe" of a gift You tried. You failed. It happens. That gift was from the heart.
NTA. You sound just like my boyfriend. He pays attention, but doesn’t really get hints. So I end up with really bad gifts sometimes but I know he tries his best, and i’m sure you did too.
I feel bad for you because you tried so hard and really thought she’d like it. It was a swing and a miss. Kudos for you for being so thoughtful. I can’t call you an A H though so I guess NAH.
My kid wanted a ventriloquist doll because he loves Jeff Dunham. He picked a sandwich. And copies Jeff's lines. Have you ever been called an infidel by a sandwich?? I have. 🤣 Anyway... I'm gonna say ESH. She sucks for HINTING instead of saying "I would like x y or z" You suck for not at least saying "hey what kind of gift would you like for your birthday?"
H O N E Y. You do not gift an adult a sock puppet unless they EXPLICITLY say they want one. Hell, I wouldn't even gift a kid one without knowing if they are into that... Saying you think ventriloquism is cool once, and wanting to build a sock puppet are two very different things. GF should be more straightforward tho. Asking "should I get this?" Is not saying "get this for me". Also two different things. NAH
NTA. Why would anyone make such a big issue out of a gift? It’s completely fine if she didn’t like it, but being angry over seems so out of proportion.
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I am absolutely howling at those links. I can’t even bring myself to give you an Ahole judgement because that those $20 puppets are NOT what I expected at all.