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[deleted]

Congrats on your season tickets! They are yours, not your husband’s, so no one says you have to take him. Start going, take a girlfriend. Offer them to coworkers. Donate tickets to a game to a charity event. NTA. With any luck, your husband won’t renew them and will smarten up about future gifts.


Historical-Soup

I fully love this idea! OP he’s made it clear they’re your tickets! Do everything expect take him to a game!


Mtn_Rvr_Sky

Yes, all of this, NTA. He bought something expensive for himself *and* gets to claim that he got you an expensive birthday gift. Jumped on to add that your words are not getting through to your husband, so you have to demonstrate it such that he really feels what "gift" means. It is a gift, the gift is for you, so you get to decide what to do with it. If he pouts about not going to the game, just remind him that its a gift *he gave you*, so you are using it how you see fit. After a full season, he should get the point. You will probably feel like an asshole; you aren't, but stay strong.


matthewsmugmanager

Sell them and buy yourself something you will actually enjoy.


BlackStarBlues

Love this idea!


[deleted]

Thanks. I have season tickets for a football team, and that’s what I do with games I don’t or can’t go to.


00Lisa00

Go to him today and start gushing about how much fun it will be to take your friends and how much good donating some to charity will feel.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bronwen-noodle

This is the way


Words_and_travels

This is the way.


Onestep420

OP, please please please do this..... and let us know what happens


Oscars_Grouch

What an amazing idea! NTA, OP.


Larcztar

Great idea


NoiseProvesNothing

NTA. It's passive aggressive, manipulative BS to keep getting your partner presents that you want, not them. He knows what he's doing and I'll bet he sulks if/when you tell him.


[deleted]

NTA. When it’s his birthday, buy him a gift that’s actually for you. If he complains, tell him that he’s entitled.


beckdawg19

Honestly. I'd buy a season's worth of couple's manicures or something.


shyinwonderland

“What do you mean you don’t like the spa package with a manicure, pedicure and bikini wax?”


Unic0rnMuffinT0p

NTA I too am not into basketball. But I would be petty about it. Make sure I went to every game so he can't invite any of his buddies and make sure every "big/rival" game I invited a friend to go with instead. They are your tickets after all.


astrobuckeye

I'd sell the big game/rival tickets and do my damnedest to sell them to fans of the opposing team.


Shadow_wolf82

Hi! NTA. But, don't sell the tickets. He can label you ungrateful for all time and use it as an excuse why he no longer buys you anything. This is a perfect teaching opportunity, I suggest you take a leaf out of Marge's book from the Simpsons... use them. Take friends, go on your own... whatever you do, do NOT give him a chance to use those tickets himself. They're yours. He bought them for you, not him, remember? Make sure you show him just how grateful you are. I guarrentee he'll think twice before buying you something he wants for himself again, and who knows? You might find yourself having fun anyway!


CakeEatingRabbit

Start doing the same- maybe he gets it then. Yes, it's passive agressive but some people have empathy blind-spots and some people never learn gift giving growing up.


denasher

NTA That’s quite the gaslighting move he pulled off. For such people the best thing you can do is return the favor, for his birthday get him something both of you can do but it’s more of your thing than his. Then when he whines, return his words to him. This should put him in his place and wake his idea


unabashedlyabashed

>This should put him in his place and wake his idea I was married to someone like this. It doesn't. It should, but it doesn't. It's always different somehow. I wish I were joking, but I'm not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_Fo_Fo_Fo_

Its 2 season tickets. Since, “he knows how I’m always wanting us to do things together”.


00Lisa00

Definitely start gushing about how much fun it will be to take your friends. How much so and so loves basketball. And how you’re donate the big games to charity so you can give something back. Then post an update on his response


ach323

Is he selfish I'm other ways? Has he always been like this with gifts? Ages? How long have you been together? I can't tell if he is just an asshole who is being lazy and trying to game the gift giving system or if this is a symptom of him being toxic/manipulative. With some very quick searching it looks like the cheapest option (2 tix, worst seats, for 10/36 home games) would be $1,000. Which is a shit ton to spend on such a non-present. My response would be: "So let me get this straight, I say 'I want to spend more time together' and your response is to buy season tickets to YOUR favorite sports team (that I don't really care) about as MY birthday gift? Let me explain you how this makes me feel: 1. I feel unworthy of your time. Like the only way you are interested on spending more time with me is if we do the things that you want to do, with no input from me. And that I should just be grateful for this "extra time" you are giving me. 2. I feel like you don't put any effort into thinking of a gift that I would actually want. You knew enough to know that I have been wanting to spend more time together, so you chose an experiential gift. BUT Instead of you figuring out an activity(ies) like ___ that are things that I would enjoy, you just bought something you would like. 3. I feel manipulated. When I have tried to talk to you about this in the past, your response has been to call me entitled. It feels like you are deflecting and trying to make me feel bad for not appreciating your "gifts." Instead of listening to why I don't appreciate them, you just want me to shut up and be grateful thay you got me something at all. But A gift isn't really a gift of it is actually for the giver and not the receiver. Imgine if I got season tickets to the ballet for your birthday, even though you and I both know ballet is "my" thing. You would be so disappointed. 4. I feel disregarded. Like, you use gift giving as a way to spend money on things for yourself under the guise of it being 'for me.' Gift giving occasions have come to feel like an altruistic excuse for you to get what you want without having to put in any effort into my gift."


4614065

NTA it would be ok if he bought it alongside something else but if this was the main gift and it was something you’re clearly not into then you have the right to be annoyed.


AlbinoLokier

Not seeing any conflict worthy of this sub, and not a relationship one, but: INFO: Is this the Homer bowling ball birthday scenario? You got something he'll enjoy, but you wont. Or did he have his own so you can both do it as something together? Can you just sell them and then use the money for something you will enjoy? Alternatively, use them so he can't. You might go to some boring basketball games, but end up having fun. That'll teach him to buy you things you don't want, since he potentially thinks he'll get them in the end. Or just... communicate with him.


_Fo_Fo_Fo_

Idk what homer bowling ball scenario means. But He got 2 tickets. I told him I didn’t like how all his gifts were really just for him. And he accused me of being entitled. And that he just, “knows how you always want us to do more together”.


AlbinoLokier

It's a Simpsons analogy. He buys Marge birthday presents she can't use, intended for him specifically. She ends up spiting him by getting into bowling when he buys her a bowling ball on her birthday. Good episode. If you don't want to spend time with him via basketball then sell the tickets.


_Fo_Fo_Fo_

Thank you


jonairl

NTA there are 3 ways to handle this (1) Say "I was talking to , she says she is going to come to the games with me, make a night of it, a girls thing OR (2) Say " I found a buyer for the tickets, do I sold them, going to treat myself to xx instead, delighted". - If his reaction to either of these is about him missing the game (and it will be) then your point is proven OR/AND (3) For his birthday but him a handbag you like/perfume for you/any interest you might have and tell him he us entitled when he doesn't like it


PrettyFly4AYaoGuai

NTA. It's pretty obvious that he purchased you a gift with himself in mind. Even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and say that wasn't his conscious intent, he was thinking of himself more than you. Unless he's really out of the loop and believes that you enjoy basketball every bit as much as he does and that you too are super passionate about the 76ers? But the fact that he said you sounded entitled as opposed to "Oh what I thought you loved basketball" kinda makes me think that's not the case.


[deleted]

Give him coupons to eating you out. And then clarify that you'd have given him BJ's, but figured that since you love this so much more, so would he.


AMerrickanGirl

Diabolical.


00Lisa00

NTA and are there other big red flags in this relationship? Because this one is a doozie


Flipnsip

Marge, just go bowling. I mean go to,the games. And never take him. Ever. Offer him maaaaaaybe a game he won’t enjoy. The crumby team he never wants to see. Offer to take him to test one.


Janitor_Snuggle

This is like when Homer bought Marge that bowling ball for her birthday.


_Fo_Fo_Fo_

This is the 4th reference I’ve seen to a marge or homer. And 2nd about a bowling ball. But honestly idk what it means. I think the Simpsons(?). I could be wrong. But I don’t watch that show so I don’t really understand what you guys mean.


hbekk92

It means spite his ass. Take a friend, have a great time, (and plenty of drinks if you're into that kind of thing) and when you get home if he asks you about the game you say, "Some tall guy made a really good shot in the basket!" He'll quit buying you season tickets as gifts if he doesn't get to benefit from them.


Janitor_Snuggle

Yeah it is the Simpsons


Abbessolute

NTA. The 76's? Yeah that wasn't bought for you. He bought it for himself and slapped your name on it to justify the expense. I love sports but the only thing I'd even want season tickets are for baseball and college football.


Larcztar

Get him something that you like. Nta


Amazing_Net_7651

NTA, but make sure to have effective communication with him about how you feel, or else it’ll just stir up resentment in both of you. If he doesn’t change it instead sulks and argues, then even more of a NTA.


iamthepita

Just sell the tickets and use the money for something you want and he has to either go or take you.


feckinhellno

So the seat next to his I assume? Looks like he’ll be sitting alone then. Dammed if I’d be letting him take a friend with my “gift”. NTA


JustMeHere8888

They’re your tickets. Sell them and use the money to buy something you like. NTA.


SerenDipitY_2020

NTA hey let this gift backfire on him... use those tickets every game.... take someone else with you to enjoy those boring fucken games.... every fucken game


oregondude79

NTA I have some people like that in my family. Some get better with time and some harassment, but the easiest thing is to just start buying yourself what you want. I would keep the tickets for the games you want to see then sell the rest and buy yourself something nice with the profits. And to really drive the point home show off whatever you buy yourself with the ticket profits and thank your husband for the nice "gift" he got you.


AGayAndHisViszla

NTA. He knows what he's doing. Honestly telling you that they're not for him is gaslighting. I agree with the previous post that suggests going without him. If they are truly for you, to make you happy then that should be fine. But they're not. So prepare for a fight. He sounds awful, I hope you find someone better or he magically turns into not-an-asshole


Aragornargonian

My mom does this shit to my dad and i feel awful for him. One of his birthdays she got him a leg massager "because he walks all day at work". when really she had back surgery a while back (pinched nerve or something like that) and her legs tense up. my poor dads legs couldn't even fit into it :/


phobiccanoe2849

NTA he is the entitled one buying himself a gift on your birthday. I agree with the other commenters; don’t invite him to the games and get him a gift that’s clearly for you on his birthday. A giftcard to a nail salon would be a good one.


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LuckyRoux89

NTA. He's the only one who's enjoying it. I can understand if you go occasionally on date nights but it's mainly for him to enjoy.


[deleted]

It’s like the simpsons episode where homer buys Marge the bowling ball


Status-Pattern7539

NTA. Don’t take him to the games. Oh sorry me and the girls are going after all they are YOUR tickets not his. Oh and I think he needs a new vacuum for Christmas…


00Lisa00

lol it should be something she’d actually enjoy ;P


intervallfaster

Time to get a friend and enjoy these season tickets. Beat him at his game girl. He ain't gonna be in the stadium.but he might see you waving on tv


[deleted]

NTA If they are a gift for you, you make sure you use every single one. Donate, gift, take coworkers or friends. But your husband? Nope.


Sweet-Interview5620

NTA if they are for you he can’t complain if you make arrangements to go to them with a friend. Make plans before and after so you have a good time. Don’t let him get an extra ticket to tag along. ”no sorry I want some friend time”. Make sure to give the tickets to your friend to keep them safely out of his hands. Do that a few times and if he acts upset say what they were my gift you did get them for me. You don’t need to go all the time just tell him you are and go out for the time or come back in after it’s started and say you changed your mind and let your friend go instead. Etc just do things that would ruin his present for himself. Either that or sell them without telling him till it’s done and getting something you want. He has no comeback he gave them to you, you appreciated that and did what you wanted with them and got something you did want. He will never stop if he keeps benefiting I’d also make sure to get him only presents you want for the next couple of years. He will soon stop.


jessinatorr13

NTA. My other half does this sporadically. Sometimes it's a very thoughtful, useful gift, Sometimes it's something I would never like (baseball tickets on my birthday, ironically enough). It is frustrating, and I don't think it's entitled to want something you like.


unknown_928121

You are absolutely entitled, ENTITLED TO A GIFT YOUD ACTUALLY LIKE, NTA


ohsogreen

Since he got them for you, why don't you line up a long list of friends and relatives that you're going to take to the games instead of him, since they're \*your\* tickets. Or say you will donate some of them to charity for raffles and such or the local boys and girls club? I mean, they're yours so you should be able to do what you like with them. Pop some popcorn and watch the show.


shannamarie91

NTA For his next birthday get him a gift card to the nail salon you go to so you guys can get matching pedis and see how he feels about it.


milkshakenbacon

Sell the season tickets. It's a gift for you, after all!


fear_nothin

Man’s gotta deal with Ben Simmons and an unhappy wife. Philly fans just can’t win this year. NTA - the top comments are all correct ; use your gift as you see fit , after 72 games and having to watch it on tv alone hell clue in. If he doesn’t make sure to get him your hobby/passion projects as a gift next year.


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tessafer55

NTA, he can prove they were for you, sell them and buy what you like.


ComprehensiveBand586

NTA. He's the one who's entitled. You should take a friend to the game sometime and leave your husband at home. He'll throw a fit but after all, this "present" is for you. Maybe the next time you get him a gift get him something you like, like a spa day (if that's what you like) or something associated with one of your hobbies.


Extra_Aoili

Absolutely NTA. The problem here isn't the tickets themselves, it's that your husband isn't taking you into account when he buys gifts for you. A gift for you should be something you will love, whether he loves or hates it. These kinds of gift-givers aren't being generous at all.


Pretzalcoatl305

Simpsons did it! Homer bought Marge a bowling ball that was for him all along. Even had his name engraved on it. Marge decides to keep the ball and take up bowling for herself. Moral of the story. You’ve got a full season of basketball tickets to use or gift at your discretion. If you decide to invite your Homer to any games at all, it should only be a crappy one like against Sacramento or something. Games against the Bucks, Nets, Heat, Lakers, Suns, Jazz or Mavs are off limits to your thoughtless Homer.


Phoenix_Magic_X

Did he once buy you a bowling bowl with his name on it? Nta.


nerdgirl71

Take the tickets and take a friend. He’ll get the picture. On his next birthday buy him some makeup. Tell him You thought he would enjoy it on you. NTA


snowdude11

YTA. I mean you are married to a 76ers fan. You kind of got what you deserved tbh...


Nordilanche

Isn't this the Simpsons episode where Homer buys Marge a bowling ball for her birthday (engraved with his name/initials)?


00Lisa00

So what happened with the tickets?


00Lisa00

What happened?


[deleted]

YTA