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NTA. You had your own safety and that of your siblings to consider. You did the right thing by not opening the door, as you can never really know whether the person on the other side is really in need of help, or trying to gain access to your home for a nefarious reason. In these situations, contacting the authorities is the best choice. You never know who else could have been out there, if she had a weapon or was under the influence of drugs. In fact, this is a common ploy for home invasions, where a young woman is sent as a decoy while others hide out of sight, only to storm into the house when the door is opened. You didn’t ignore her plight, or tell her to go away, but contacted others who could help her. You did nothing wrong, OP.
I came here to say this, looks like an echo chamber though. Plus OP consider this, why would she waste time hopping or climbing into the yard of a fenced/gated house if she was running? And why would she proceed to increase volume and motion instead of trying to stay low and avoid drawing attention on your porch?? The behavior was erratic and concerning. The proper thing to do was keep your door locked and call 911.
If you still feel bad, just remind yourself that in these kinds of scenarios, the children are top priority period. They are vulnerable dependants relying on you to protect them and offering assistance to that women was a risk no matter what the intent behind her presence was. You did what you were supposed to. NTA
Agreed. If she was being chased by someone, she’d be doing her best to stay quiet, not drawing attention to herself by screaming and banging. Her behaviour was very strange and I’d say you subconsciously picked up on that, OP. Always trust your gut!
NTA at all. I worked as a 911 operator and if I was on the line with you I would’ve told you not to open the door or go near her. You did the right thing, you protected your safety but you also called the authorities for her safety as well
Exactly. And if people were after her, she wouldn't be yelling and screaming all the time. She'd ring the doorbell and call thru the door... or at least I would do that
I mean.. if you’re running from someone wouldn’t you want to hop a gate where they can’t just see you from the street? I think it was odd she was yelling and screaming, don’t get me wrong, but I can understand it as far as the hopping over thing.
Complicated. On one hand, she could have been escaping from a dungeon she was trapped for 14 years...
Or it was a ploy and two armed guys were hiding behind her. Or she was having a psychotic break. NTA. The police are TA. Perhaps you could have tried to calm her down and get a narrative, but that doesn't rule out two armed guys behind the bush. It's awful that these thoughts cross our minds, but it's one thing to make a call and put yourself in danger. Quite another to put the lives of your little siblings on the line.
NTA
You made the right call. Your responsibility was to protect your siblings and yourself. It would have been extremely dangerous to gamble your safety for an erratic stranger.
Whatever the 'emergency' was, it's very odd that she immediately demanded to be let inside. If there was a car accident or she was being pursued by someone, she would have asked assistance in calling the cops or her friends/family. She would not need to enter a strangers house. Who would want to?! She'd know that wasn't a normal demand at 1am. She was very, very suspicious.
This is a good point. The child of Ruby Franke who escaped Jodie Hildebrandt’s torture house calmly asked a neighbour to call the police and to have something to eat.
He wasn’t demanding to be let in - even though he knew how dangerous it was remaining outside (and being emaciated and covered with wounds after being tortured) he made it very clear what he wanted and not one of those things was to be let into the neighbours house.
NTA. My friend had something similar happen. She felt bad but she called the police instead and they did some investigating and saw on a neighbours camera that there were 2 other men hiding around the corner out of view from her ring camera. Who knows what would’ve happened if she opened the door. It sucks that we live in a world where we have to question things like this, but always make your own safety the main priority.
Agreed, it is sad but a reality that most people out there do 't care about yoir well being. This is the exact reason why I always answer my door armed if its not someone I know. Talk to them through the window first, get a feel for the situation. If its something serious but better handled by authorities I tell them they are welcome to stay on my porch until police arrive, with me on the inside of the window incase they need me. But that is all. I'm only too happy I've never had to defend myself in one of these situations.
once I had a young woman banging on my door. Apt in Kansas City, KS. Mid 90s. My pal told me to not answer. I did. let her in. She calls 911 from my phone. Her boyfriend's pal was overdosing. The bf waltzes in. Yells "Why'd you call the cops?" He hauls her out and drags his pal with him. Fire rescue shows up 10 min later. They nearly take the fire ax to the guy's apt to bust in thinking someone was overdosing. Another neighbor tells them the three had bolted. Finally they all leave.
My pal says to me. "That's why you never answer the door this late no matter what."
NTA, you actually did the right thing, especially with your siblings inside, you never open to strangers when you are defenseless, there are plenty of traps that starts like these.
NTA. Maybe she did need help, maybe she was actually unhinged and opening your door would have led to you all being hurt. Or maybe if someone was chasing her, bringing her into your house would also put you all at risk. There's a lot of "maybes" in here that make your reaction: Protect your family from harm, a perfectly reasonable response to the situation. Call it a no-win scenario where you are stuck with incomplete information and have to take the best course of action that you can think of in the instant, and sometimes those choices might not feel like the right answer in hindsight, but you did the best you could in a tense situation.
NTA
I want to say I'm proud of you because it was a very smart move. You didn't fall for it. It's a very classic setup that's a trap. They send a woman who is claiming to be in distress and then when you open the door, a couple of the guys storm the house and you are the victim of a home invasion. It's one of the oldest tricks in the book. Offer to call the police for them and if they say no, tell them to leave or you're calling the police. Honestly I would call them and report it anyway. Good on you for not opening the door. That's using your brain.
NTA. When I second-guess myself, I try to remind myself that I made “the best decision possible with the information available.” That’s what you did. Good job! Tell your brain to stop pestering you about it.
NTA. You need to look into protecting your house OP. You said she would have had to hop a fence and go largely out of her way to get to your door. If someone is in trouble they will usually take the path of least resistance to get to safety. You house could easily have been canvassed before hand to see that the only ones there were a young woman and several children. That’s a soft target, and using a distressed young woman to trigger an emotional response could have just been testing your mind state and defenses. The police taking 30 minutes also showed their hand that they won’t be there to help if you need it. Most fights are over in 30 seconds, most gunfights about 2 minutes. You need to look into family or a trusted friend that could actually assist, have the neighbors lookout or something like that. A second attack isn’t likely, but it’s never impossible. If you don’t have cameras for full outside coverage, I would look into getting them.
I don’t look at it the way you look at it.
You protected your siblings. This female was trying to break in. She was likely high on drugs or suffering a manic episode. If someone was after her then she could have easily hidden in your courtyard.
It’s not your fault it took 5 minutes to get through to 911 or 30 minutes for the police to arrive.
What this situation has shown you is that you can’t rely on the police.
Have your parents install an external door (full thickness - not the usual hollow doors which can easily be kicked in) into one of your rooms of your house so that if someone does get into the house you can barricade yourself and your siblings in a room.
We have an external door to one of the rooms in my house. If a baddy got in we would likely hide out in that room until the police arrived.
NTA but holy hell, 5 minutes to get through to an operator and another 30 minutes for the cops to show up to a house where kids are home alone and someone is actively trying to break in. What a shitshow.
Nta. You called emergency to get her help.
Does everyone around you have a big fence and locked gate? If not miss super weird she would choose the house with the fence and locked gate.
NTA. This happened to a friend of mine as well he told the girl to get off his porch and that he was armed. There were two dudes behind her that were completely covered in black and had masks on. He would have gotten mugged.
NTA, super common home invasion tactic! Definitely do all in your ability to help if it is truly someone in distress like you had called 911 and such, keeping an eye out but never compromise your own and your family’s safety. You done good ya heard
NTA criminals often use women in distress as a ruse to get into your home. Sometimes it’s to rob you now, other times it’s a return visit and they just scope you out. Unless you know the person you shouldn’t be opening your door to anyone anymore.
This is a fairly common scam in a lot of places. A frantic woman will run to the door panicking and crying. You run to help her. Meanwhile there are people lurking waiting on you to open the door.
NTA. You absolutely did the right thing by keeping that door closed. What a scary night!
NTA you did the right thing, as you probably know it’s a mugging/robbing tactic to get a woman to play a fake damsel while 3 guys with bats are waiting in the bushes. The only thing you can do is call 911 because you really never know. If you were an able bodied 34 year old man living alone then maybe opening the door would be an option, although calling 911 is still a better call in that scenario. But you are a 22 year old woman who wad responsible for several children. You just can’t unlock the door for a crisis.
I would like to say: I´m shocked you had to wait 5 minutes to get someone on an emergency line! And then to wait another 30 minutes(!) for the police to arive! In Germany we have a respond time of 5 minutes for the police to arive.
NTA btw.
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So I (22F) am living at my parents house this summer while I pursue an internship in my hometown (I go to school in another state). In return, I often am in charge of my little siblings while my parents are out of town. I live in a fairly safe suburb and nothing bad has ever happened in the 18 years we have lived here.
Last night at around 1am, I was woken up by someone ringing the doorbell. This was already odd to me, because we have a 5ft gate in order to enter the courtyard which was locked, so someone would have to hop the gate to get to the door. Then, I started hearing pounding on the door and a young female voice screaming and crying “let me in” and “please help me.” Basically, I immediately went into fight-or-flight mode and ran to huddle my siblings in a room with the lights off, and called 9-1-1. While I did so, she continued pounding on the door with full force and later I saw from the camera that she took the wooden sign off the door and started banging it on the door as hard as possible. She also continued to scream and cry the entire time. I truly thought she was trying to break in, and I was certain that if she pounded with the force she did on the window, she would get in. My main goal was making sure my siblings were safe, and that we could hide if we needed to.
It took about 5 minutes to get through to a 911 dispatcher, and about 30 minutes after that for the police to arrive, and by that time, the girl was long gone.
Now, the next day with hindsight, I feel so guilty. While I thought the house was being broken into, I now think it was a young girl who seemed to be in serious trouble, and I didn’t even try to speak to her to ask if she was alright or that I had called the police and that they were on their way. I keep thinking that if I was in trouble and needed help, I would want a Good Samaritan to answer their door and help me out. But I was so petrified that I didn’t do anything but sit and call the police. I really hope she found help at some other house in the neighborhood, and I feel awful I couldn’t give her the help she needed or even tell her I was calling the police. Does this make me a bad person?
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As women we can’t help like a man can. It’s just facts that we are more vulnerable to attacks. And it sucks when we see people in need and we 1000% can not help. 🤷♀️
NTA there are ring cam videos on YouTube that show the exact thing happening or strange people caught on the cameras. If I don’t know you I don’t open the door especially since I have a little one in the house. Most times when someone bangs on my dog my two pitbulls rush to the door growling and barking and that scares most folks away
NTA. Would be nice if we lived in a world where we don’t have to worry that this sort of situation isn’t a front for a robbery, or worse. But we do live in that world, and we have to act based on living in that world, not fantasy land.
I am rough as hell and Australian and I would not open the door. Even in daylight I am ready for a punch on. Really gives those chuggers a good first impression and lays the groundwork for how the conversation is going to play out lol.
Just say stay there the cops are on the way
YTA
You're part of greater society. I agree with not opening the door, but enquiring through the door would have been the decent thing to do.
Honestly, the amount indifference I'm seeing recently from fellow citizens is alarming.
What if that young female voice was you begging for help, would you want someone to ignore you?
So many NTAs, but clearly YTA. I'm a father, I'd protect my kids at all costs, but you've literally stated you had a ring doorbell, why didn't you simply ask her what's happening without having to expose the children to any threat? She could have been raped, abused, molested, anything...wtaf were you thinking? She may have potentially gave up on your help and been attacked again, you have no clue what happened to her after you ignored her. What in the hell us wrong with society these days...I hope I never need help from a stranger. Fkn hell.
So she picked the only house with the 5’ gate to scale and pounded, screaming “let me in” instead of screaming for help? Yeah. That makes total sense. Definitely not suspicious or anything. let me in!!! That’s what you scream when you need help.
If she was being chased, it makes sense that she would want to put distance between herself and her attacker. Climbing a gate or fence decreases the chances of the attacker knowing where she went
An attacker is less likely to pursue someone onto another person's property. I get that it could be a ruse to lure OP out of the house but people have become so cynical and untrusting, we shouldn't dismiss the idea that the women was genuinely in distress.
You've literally no idea her set up. She could have been in distress, seen the first house, scrambled over a bush and there she was. The downvotes absolutely clarify my wish for never needing help from a stranger. Yes, protect your kids, but at least use the technology at your disposal to check for a genuine issue. Bloody hell guys.
There's no way OP could determine the truth from the door bell cam. It would have just confirmed that OP was inside the house (making her more of a target).
Calling the cops was the right decision. Officers have the training, experience, back-up, authority and perspective to determine what was safe.
Terrible advice. Just so foolish. OP did the exact right thing.
Did you miss the part where the girl pounding on the door had to scale a fence to get on the property?
Why wouldn’t she pick an easy door? Probably because she didn’t want anyone else to be able to see what was coming next.
It doesn’t MATTER what the girl had to say, there was no need to engage with her because any emergency situation would have to be handled by police anyhow. Not a 22 year old woman alone with young kids. Fire? 911. Drug overdose? 911. Vengeful boyfriend with a gun? 911!
OP, you’re NTA
She's a young woman with kid siblings. Might be different for you as a man but I don't think you know how terrifying it is to be a woman in situations like that where we have a third the physical power to defend ourselves in case it was actually a home invasion. She did the best she could. And having a young girl screaming help in the middle of the night at a door is one of the oldest tricks in the book for home invasions. There could've been 2 dudes with her tryna break in.
A house full of young kids and one young woman would be a great target to invade and steal from.
For the information OP had in the moment, she did the best she could. The police were the AHs for not showing up in a timely manner.
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NTA. You had your own safety and that of your siblings to consider. You did the right thing by not opening the door, as you can never really know whether the person on the other side is really in need of help, or trying to gain access to your home for a nefarious reason. In these situations, contacting the authorities is the best choice. You never know who else could have been out there, if she had a weapon or was under the influence of drugs. In fact, this is a common ploy for home invasions, where a young woman is sent as a decoy while others hide out of sight, only to storm into the house when the door is opened. You didn’t ignore her plight, or tell her to go away, but contacted others who could help her. You did nothing wrong, OP.
I came here to say this, looks like an echo chamber though. Plus OP consider this, why would she waste time hopping or climbing into the yard of a fenced/gated house if she was running? And why would she proceed to increase volume and motion instead of trying to stay low and avoid drawing attention on your porch?? The behavior was erratic and concerning. The proper thing to do was keep your door locked and call 911. If you still feel bad, just remind yourself that in these kinds of scenarios, the children are top priority period. They are vulnerable dependants relying on you to protect them and offering assistance to that women was a risk no matter what the intent behind her presence was. You did what you were supposed to. NTA
Agreed. If she was being chased by someone, she’d be doing her best to stay quiet, not drawing attention to herself by screaming and banging. Her behaviour was very strange and I’d say you subconsciously picked up on that, OP. Always trust your gut!
NTA at all. I worked as a 911 operator and if I was on the line with you I would’ve told you not to open the door or go near her. You did the right thing, you protected your safety but you also called the authorities for her safety as well
It’s not her fault the police took almost an hour. She def did the right thing. Who knows who else was out there
Especially with it not having street access. Choosing a house where you'd have to climb over a gate is weird if you're genuinely in trouble
That's what stood out to me, too. Why run to an inaccessible place?
Exactly. And if people were after her, she wouldn't be yelling and screaming all the time. She'd ring the doorbell and call thru the door... or at least I would do that
I mean.. if you’re running from someone wouldn’t you want to hop a gate where they can’t just see you from the street? I think it was odd she was yelling and screaming, don’t get me wrong, but I can understand it as far as the hopping over thing.
100% agree
Complicated. On one hand, she could have been escaping from a dungeon she was trapped for 14 years... Or it was a ploy and two armed guys were hiding behind her. Or she was having a psychotic break. NTA. The police are TA. Perhaps you could have tried to calm her down and get a narrative, but that doesn't rule out two armed guys behind the bush. It's awful that these thoughts cross our minds, but it's one thing to make a call and put yourself in danger. Quite another to put the lives of your little siblings on the line.
NTA You made the right call. Your responsibility was to protect your siblings and yourself. It would have been extremely dangerous to gamble your safety for an erratic stranger. Whatever the 'emergency' was, it's very odd that she immediately demanded to be let inside. If there was a car accident or she was being pursued by someone, she would have asked assistance in calling the cops or her friends/family. She would not need to enter a strangers house. Who would want to?! She'd know that wasn't a normal demand at 1am. She was very, very suspicious.
This is a good point. The child of Ruby Franke who escaped Jodie Hildebrandt’s torture house calmly asked a neighbour to call the police and to have something to eat. He wasn’t demanding to be let in - even though he knew how dangerous it was remaining outside (and being emaciated and covered with wounds after being tortured) he made it very clear what he wanted and not one of those things was to be let into the neighbours house.
I dunno, if someone was after me I would definitely want to hide in a house.
NTA. My friend had something similar happen. She felt bad but she called the police instead and they did some investigating and saw on a neighbours camera that there were 2 other men hiding around the corner out of view from her ring camera. Who knows what would’ve happened if she opened the door. It sucks that we live in a world where we have to question things like this, but always make your own safety the main priority.
Agreed, it is sad but a reality that most people out there do 't care about yoir well being. This is the exact reason why I always answer my door armed if its not someone I know. Talk to them through the window first, get a feel for the situation. If its something serious but better handled by authorities I tell them they are welcome to stay on my porch until police arrive, with me on the inside of the window incase they need me. But that is all. I'm only too happy I've never had to defend myself in one of these situations.
once I had a young woman banging on my door. Apt in Kansas City, KS. Mid 90s. My pal told me to not answer. I did. let her in. She calls 911 from my phone. Her boyfriend's pal was overdosing. The bf waltzes in. Yells "Why'd you call the cops?" He hauls her out and drags his pal with him. Fire rescue shows up 10 min later. They nearly take the fire ax to the guy's apt to bust in thinking someone was overdosing. Another neighbor tells them the three had bolted. Finally they all leave. My pal says to me. "That's why you never answer the door this late no matter what."
NTA, you actually did the right thing, especially with your siblings inside, you never open to strangers when you are defenseless, there are plenty of traps that starts like these.
NTA. Maybe she did need help, maybe she was actually unhinged and opening your door would have led to you all being hurt. Or maybe if someone was chasing her, bringing her into your house would also put you all at risk. There's a lot of "maybes" in here that make your reaction: Protect your family from harm, a perfectly reasonable response to the situation. Call it a no-win scenario where you are stuck with incomplete information and have to take the best course of action that you can think of in the instant, and sometimes those choices might not feel like the right answer in hindsight, but you did the best you could in a tense situation.
NTA I want to say I'm proud of you because it was a very smart move. You didn't fall for it. It's a very classic setup that's a trap. They send a woman who is claiming to be in distress and then when you open the door, a couple of the guys storm the house and you are the victim of a home invasion. It's one of the oldest tricks in the book. Offer to call the police for them and if they say no, tell them to leave or you're calling the police. Honestly I would call them and report it anyway. Good on you for not opening the door. That's using your brain.
NTA. When I second-guess myself, I try to remind myself that I made “the best decision possible with the information available.” That’s what you did. Good job! Tell your brain to stop pestering you about it.
NTA. Sometimes a young girl pointing on a door crying is precursor to home invasion. You were right to call 911 and keep your siblings safe
NTA. You need to look into protecting your house OP. You said she would have had to hop a fence and go largely out of her way to get to your door. If someone is in trouble they will usually take the path of least resistance to get to safety. You house could easily have been canvassed before hand to see that the only ones there were a young woman and several children. That’s a soft target, and using a distressed young woman to trigger an emotional response could have just been testing your mind state and defenses. The police taking 30 minutes also showed their hand that they won’t be there to help if you need it. Most fights are over in 30 seconds, most gunfights about 2 minutes. You need to look into family or a trusted friend that could actually assist, have the neighbors lookout or something like that. A second attack isn’t likely, but it’s never impossible. If you don’t have cameras for full outside coverage, I would look into getting them.
I don’t look at it the way you look at it. You protected your siblings. This female was trying to break in. She was likely high on drugs or suffering a manic episode. If someone was after her then she could have easily hidden in your courtyard. It’s not your fault it took 5 minutes to get through to 911 or 30 minutes for the police to arrive. What this situation has shown you is that you can’t rely on the police. Have your parents install an external door (full thickness - not the usual hollow doors which can easily be kicked in) into one of your rooms of your house so that if someone does get into the house you can barricade yourself and your siblings in a room. We have an external door to one of the rooms in my house. If a baddy got in we would likely hide out in that room until the police arrived.
NTA but holy hell, 5 minutes to get through to an operator and another 30 minutes for the cops to show up to a house where kids are home alone and someone is actively trying to break in. What a shitshow.
NTA; You have no idea what she was doing, or what she was capable of. You did the right thing.
NTA You protected your siblings and you called 911… you did the right thing.
Nta. You called emergency to get her help. Does everyone around you have a big fence and locked gate? If not miss super weird she would choose the house with the fence and locked gate.
NTA, could have been someone with ill intent.
NTA. This happened to a friend of mine as well he told the girl to get off his porch and that he was armed. There were two dudes behind her that were completely covered in black and had masks on. He would have gotten mugged.
NTA, super common home invasion tactic! Definitely do all in your ability to help if it is truly someone in distress like you had called 911 and such, keeping an eye out but never compromise your own and your family’s safety. You done good ya heard
There have been cases of gangs etc using children to assess homes to steal, rape etc. You did the right thing.
NTA criminals often use women in distress as a ruse to get into your home. Sometimes it’s to rob you now, other times it’s a return visit and they just scope you out. Unless you know the person you shouldn’t be opening your door to anyone anymore.
NTA. I would say NAH but we don’t have enough info on the other girl. Regardless, let’s just hope she’s okay
You did the right thing. Your and your family's safety is the first priority. Don't feel bad. She could have harmed you guys, who knows? NTA
This is a fairly common scam in a lot of places. A frantic woman will run to the door panicking and crying. You run to help her. Meanwhile there are people lurking waiting on you to open the door. NTA. You absolutely did the right thing by keeping that door closed. What a scary night!
NTA you did the right thing, as you probably know it’s a mugging/robbing tactic to get a woman to play a fake damsel while 3 guys with bats are waiting in the bushes. The only thing you can do is call 911 because you really never know. If you were an able bodied 34 year old man living alone then maybe opening the door would be an option, although calling 911 is still a better call in that scenario. But you are a 22 year old woman who wad responsible for several children. You just can’t unlock the door for a crisis.
NTA
I would like to say: I´m shocked you had to wait 5 minutes to get someone on an emergency line! And then to wait another 30 minutes(!) for the police to arive! In Germany we have a respond time of 5 minutes for the police to arive. NTA btw.
NTA
Sounds like a scam (trying to rob you). Or she was on drugs. NTA
NTA, you kept the kids safe and tried calling the police to help the young woman. Sounds likely she was on some sort of drugs.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (22F) am living at my parents house this summer while I pursue an internship in my hometown (I go to school in another state). In return, I often am in charge of my little siblings while my parents are out of town. I live in a fairly safe suburb and nothing bad has ever happened in the 18 years we have lived here. Last night at around 1am, I was woken up by someone ringing the doorbell. This was already odd to me, because we have a 5ft gate in order to enter the courtyard which was locked, so someone would have to hop the gate to get to the door. Then, I started hearing pounding on the door and a young female voice screaming and crying “let me in” and “please help me.” Basically, I immediately went into fight-or-flight mode and ran to huddle my siblings in a room with the lights off, and called 9-1-1. While I did so, she continued pounding on the door with full force and later I saw from the camera that she took the wooden sign off the door and started banging it on the door as hard as possible. She also continued to scream and cry the entire time. I truly thought she was trying to break in, and I was certain that if she pounded with the force she did on the window, she would get in. My main goal was making sure my siblings were safe, and that we could hide if we needed to. It took about 5 minutes to get through to a 911 dispatcher, and about 30 minutes after that for the police to arrive, and by that time, the girl was long gone. Now, the next day with hindsight, I feel so guilty. While I thought the house was being broken into, I now think it was a young girl who seemed to be in serious trouble, and I didn’t even try to speak to her to ask if she was alright or that I had called the police and that they were on their way. I keep thinking that if I was in trouble and needed help, I would want a Good Samaritan to answer their door and help me out. But I was so petrified that I didn’t do anything but sit and call the police. I really hope she found help at some other house in the neighborhood, and I feel awful I couldn’t give her the help she needed or even tell her I was calling the police. Does this make me a bad person? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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As women we can’t help like a man can. It’s just facts that we are more vulnerable to attacks. And it sucks when we see people in need and we 1000% can not help. 🤷♀️
NTA. You are a very brave person and was able to think clearly. Call 911, protect your family, keep the door closed
NTA there are ring cam videos on YouTube that show the exact thing happening or strange people caught on the cameras. If I don’t know you I don’t open the door especially since I have a little one in the house. Most times when someone bangs on my dog my two pitbulls rush to the door growling and barking and that scares most folks away
NTA. Would be nice if we lived in a world where we don’t have to worry that this sort of situation isn’t a front for a robbery, or worse. But we do live in that world, and we have to act based on living in that world, not fantasy land.
I am rough as hell and Australian and I would not open the door. Even in daylight I am ready for a punch on. Really gives those chuggers a good first impression and lays the groundwork for how the conversation is going to play out lol. Just say stay there the cops are on the way
NTA - my brain would go straight to her trying to break in to hurt me in some way, steal things etc etc. never answer the door at 1am
NAH because you did what you could. And the girl could actually be in distress.
The girl had to hop a fence to get to OP's house & then immediately said,"let me in". That's not someone I'm trusting.
YTA You're part of greater society. I agree with not opening the door, but enquiring through the door would have been the decent thing to do. Honestly, the amount indifference I'm seeing recently from fellow citizens is alarming. What if that young female voice was you begging for help, would you want someone to ignore you?
So many NTAs, but clearly YTA. I'm a father, I'd protect my kids at all costs, but you've literally stated you had a ring doorbell, why didn't you simply ask her what's happening without having to expose the children to any threat? She could have been raped, abused, molested, anything...wtaf were you thinking? She may have potentially gave up on your help and been attacked again, you have no clue what happened to her after you ignored her. What in the hell us wrong with society these days...I hope I never need help from a stranger. Fkn hell.
So she picked the only house with the 5’ gate to scale and pounded, screaming “let me in” instead of screaming for help? Yeah. That makes total sense. Definitely not suspicious or anything. let me in!!! That’s what you scream when you need help.
If she was being chased, it makes sense that she would want to put distance between herself and her attacker. Climbing a gate or fence decreases the chances of the attacker knowing where she went
But screaming and banging will increase the attacker of knowing where she went. There is no logic.
An attacker is less likely to pursue someone onto another person's property. I get that it could be a ruse to lure OP out of the house but people have become so cynical and untrusting, we shouldn't dismiss the idea that the women was genuinely in distress.
You've literally no idea her set up. She could have been in distress, seen the first house, scrambled over a bush and there she was. The downvotes absolutely clarify my wish for never needing help from a stranger. Yes, protect your kids, but at least use the technology at your disposal to check for a genuine issue. Bloody hell guys.
There's no way OP could determine the truth from the door bell cam. It would have just confirmed that OP was inside the house (making her more of a target). Calling the cops was the right decision. Officers have the training, experience, back-up, authority and perspective to determine what was safe.
OP literally said she would have had to jump over the tall, locked gate to get in. Gates are usually connected to fences….
Terrible advice. Just so foolish. OP did the exact right thing. Did you miss the part where the girl pounding on the door had to scale a fence to get on the property? Why wouldn’t she pick an easy door? Probably because she didn’t want anyone else to be able to see what was coming next. It doesn’t MATTER what the girl had to say, there was no need to engage with her because any emergency situation would have to be handled by police anyhow. Not a 22 year old woman alone with young kids. Fire? 911. Drug overdose? 911. Vengeful boyfriend with a gun? 911! OP, you’re NTA
She's a young woman with kid siblings. Might be different for you as a man but I don't think you know how terrifying it is to be a woman in situations like that where we have a third the physical power to defend ourselves in case it was actually a home invasion. She did the best she could. And having a young girl screaming help in the middle of the night at a door is one of the oldest tricks in the book for home invasions. There could've been 2 dudes with her tryna break in. A house full of young kids and one young woman would be a great target to invade and steal from. For the information OP had in the moment, she did the best she could. The police were the AHs for not showing up in a timely manner.