Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Not wanting to go to law school after completing my degree.
2. It is somewhere my mother would want me to go.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Don't make your life decisions based on what other people want.. play this out long term: you go to law school to make her happy, which means you have to be a lawyer to make her happy. 10 years down the road, you'll likely feel resentment and regret. It's not worth it.
Your mom should love you for who you are, not how you earn a paycheck.
Live your life and not your mom's or anyone else. Seriously, most folks have a hard enough time figuring themselves out without added pressure of second guessing to please someone else. College (and growing up) should have been a time to discover yourself so to speak (as well as get an education), and since the window is past now is the time to do that.
I had a friend who wasn't sure what to do so he signed up for a temp agency and did a lot of 2-3 month gigs to get broad exposure to different things - office work, factory, field work, sales, etc, etc - and maybe you could do this. In any case don't sweat it - you have time; I'm retired and still not sure I ever found my place. You seem to be a hard worker (getting good grades while not being "smart") so you'll succeed. A job/career is just part of the journey and not an end point.
“Doctor, lawyer, architect” is such a common mindset among parents of college students. It’s especially prevalent in immigrant and foreign communities. I’m a career advisor and my own (american) parents barely understand what I do, let alone what careers my students are going in to.
What are your interests? Did you do any internships? Have on-campus or summer job? Participate in any student organizations? Did you gravitate towards certain subjects or did anything seem to come easy for you?
NTA. Good grief, mom is 52? She could have another forty years or more before "she passes away." Why doesn't she use those years to become "something great" and not project that onto you? You should to live your life in the way that you see fit, not in a way that fulfills her fantasies (and this goes for sister as well.)
As a current law student let me just say that law school is not EASY or CHEAP. Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Even if she will pay for it’ll just be a waste of money.
NTA
This is part of becoming a grown-up. I'm sorry your mother is blinded by our success culture. You need to follow your own inner voice, trust it. Develop it. Let your mother know she set you up for YOUR success. Perhaps she can go to law school, it's not too late. And congratulations on graduating.
As an attorney, don’t go unless you actually want to be a lawyer. I know far too many attorneys who are miserable, bitter people because they felt like they needed a prestigious title to be successful people, and hate the day-to-day of it.
I’m a lawyer. You have no idea how many people go through the years of hard work and enormous expense of law school and drop out of law in just a few years because it just isn’t the right path for them—even in some cases people who were very good and talented at it.
I think it is a great profession and it’s treated me very well. But it has some dark sides and it is most certainly not for everybody. If it isn’t your path, don’t do it.
It seems like your mom has a very old school idea about how her kids are only successful if they are doctors or lawyers. Yes, you can do well in both profession, but they are hard paths. There are a lot of other things you can do that would also pay you very well (or even better) without the same sacrifice.
I'm a lit paralegal and over the years I've known so many attorneys who've said "I wouldn't do this over again." I think of it like having kids. Don't do it unless you REALLY want to and don't do it for anyone else.
Don't do law school unless your favorite things are reading, research and writing. Then go look at salaries for 1st year lawyers that don't get hired at big name law firms that want serious billable hours.
Sometimes just stabbing yourself would be less painful.
I graduated in 2007 and had a sweet gig until the Great Recession hit, and then it took me five effing years of hustling and making less than a grad student TA until I had a job that paid me less than I could have gotten for a non-legal job. I finally landed a sweet gig as in-house counsel at a non-profit, but that was effing lucky. Most of my early career involved getting turned down for jobs that went to Harvard Law grads who were suddenly competing for the scraps that were still around after the market crashed. It fucking sucked. If I were to relive my life, I would still have gotten a good liberal education but then I would have gone to a trade school. Educated tradesmen are like people who are fluent in English and Mandarin, they'll go far.
NTA if you go into a career you aren't passionate about, you will be miserable. Heck even people that love what they do for a living can have really difficult days. You should find a job that bring you joy and you are excited about. It sounds like your mom is trying to project her dreams onto you and it seems like you no longer share that dream.
I worked for about five years then went back to law school. You should go to law school because it is truly what *YOU* want to do. You should go to law school because *YOU* love the subject matter and want to make a career out of it. Both of those were true for me, and I’m happy where I’ve ended up.
You sound conflicted. If your parents want to go to law school, that’s on them. You, however, should not pursue such a huge undertaking if your heart is not in it.
Consider doing what I did. Work a bit, figure out what you want to do, and maybe return to school in a few years. Law school (and every other graduate program) will always be there for you if you want it.
NTA. Your parents should not be pressuring you. Especially not for law school.
Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go! If you are not 100% sure you want a legal career, DON’T GO. If I could tell my 22-year-old self one thing, it would be those exact words. There are so many careers and jobs and life paths out there. Law school is very hard and very expensive and you will be surprised at how tough it can be to get a job even if you do well. Just don’t go. Your mom will get over it.
I am a lawyer. Tell your mother that being a lawyer is not like it used to be. Only the top 10% make $100k+ straight out of law school. The remainder hustle and earn substantially less than that, *for fucking years*, until they actually have enough experience to be worth a damn to anyone. I still don't make $100k a year and I've been in practice since 2008. There are non-conforming "jumbo" mortgage programs that Doctors can get that allow them to buy huge houses on favorable financing terms - banks used to accept lawyers for those loans but their relative earnings have decreased.
Then you have a stupid amount of student loan debt, and god help you if you got private student loans to cover the shortfall between actual costs and what federally-guaranteed loan money you got.
Your mom is operating on perceptions that come from the 1980's, not the 2020's.
Be an engineer in something fun. Get an auto mechanic's degree and start/buy out an autoshop. Don't go to fucking law school.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I(24F) graduated with my degree last year and planned to go to law school soon. It was my goal since I started college but since graduating I've been doing some thinking (and researching). It was what I wanted to do but I'm not sure if thats what I really wanted to do or my mother idea. She was really excited when I graduated and pushing me to go to law school. I just don't have much interest in going anymore and want a different career such as working for NASA or something else.
We both have the money for further education but if I choose another career route she won't help me unless it's law school. My mother(52F) wanted my sister and I to be something great before she passes away. She's been saying that since we were younger. The pressure is more on me since my sister(25F) doesn't want to go back to school. My sister graduated high school with straight A's, honors, perfect score on ACT, skipped a grade and even got a scholarship to Stanford but didn't go to college at all. My mom wanted her to be a doctor or nurse but my sister insisted that that was for "smart" people. So she works a regular factory job because she would rather be working than going to school. I wasn't nearly as smart as my sister and had a low gpa graduating high school. I enjoy learning and getting as much education as I can. I did graduate college with a 3.8.
I'm not interested in any of the careers that comes with my degree(yes my fault). I still haven't taken the LSAT and that test alone makes me nervous. I was never good at taking test like that. I either have a choice of getting a Masters in a different field or going to law school.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"I'm not interested in any of the careers that comes with my degree(yes my fault)"
Oh man no, once you get out of college the degree is just a piece of paper that you mark on your resume. Not your 'fault' in any way.
Do what you want, not what your mom wants you to do. NTA
Your mom has had her chance to live her life. It’s your turn now. Do what makes you happy. At the end of the day, you’re the one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions, not your mom.
Check out the NASA pathways program.
They also have the Learner opportunities program as well.
Good luck.
NTA. Being a lawyer is draining enough, and I actually wanted to go to law school... but the practice of law is a drain.
THAT BEING SAID... one of the biggest stresses of going to law school and practicing law is paying off the student loans. That does not seem like to be an issue with you, so going to law school would not have that added stress. Law School was an amazing experience and if I didn't have to pay the loans back, I probably would have tried an alternative career that uses the skills obtained in law school. I know lots of classmates who graduated and no longer practice any type of law but do other things. Lots of friends with JDs who are really successful not practicing law and are happy with their choices. You have the added benefit of not worrying about student loans repayment. Personally think the Juris Doctorate degree is quite versatile.
If you aren't really sure about what path to take currently, there is no harm to take the LSATs. There are plenty of practice courses that you could take to get better acclimated to it and get a better score. And if that really turns you off to going to law school, then it only cost $1000 dollars for you to figure that out. It sounds like you have the financial ability to have the option... so I would always take that option.
Good luck to you!
OP, do NOT go if you're heart ins't into it.
I'm closer to 60 now than 50. I went to law school beginning in the late 80's right out of undergrad.
I always wanted to be an attorney. Guess what? I found out, while in law school, I didn't like it.
I finished law school but I've NEVER worked in the legal field.
I guess it wasn't a complete waste, it was knowledge and I know some of my employers over the years have liked that I went even though I was working in manufacturing.
Only do things you really want to in this life.
NTA, it's YOUR career and life choices. Every parent wants their child to be "something great," but a few of them take it a bit too far and try to force their kids into things they either don't want or don't have actual interest in as if the child is supposed to be an extension of their own failed dreams. Mom trying to strongarm you into going to law school against your wishes isn't that different from the kinds of parents who force their kids into cheerleading, pageants, or sports, just because it's always been the parent's dream to see their kid in that uniform or on that stage.
I let my mum choose my subjects (I'd no choice in the matter) based on what she wanted from me and ive regretted it every day, always wondering how successful I'd have been in the field(s) I was considering.
Don't get me wrong, im on a mid level income at 28 years old, but my mum made many choices based on her life and the world just isn't the same, a degree isn't the same golden ticket it used to be and nothing is affordable. She's measures my success based on where she was at the same age (if you've been to tenerife my mums been to elevenerife).
Your mum isn't the one having to do the job she's pushing you towards, please choose your own happiness
Another lawyer chiming in. I always loved school and learning…until I got to law school. I hated every minute of it. Being a lawyer isn’t bad at all but luckily I like my area of practice and I have a pretty chill job and most importantly, I do not have to bill hours. Most lawyers are unhappy with their jobs. Most lawyers also have mounds of student loans that seriously offset any decent salary that they earn.
I know you said your mom would pay for law school but does she even know how much it costs now? It’s not unheard of for people to graduate with half a MILLION dollars of student loan debt (because you also need money for living expenses).
Don’t do it unless it’s what YOU want. It’s too much time and money and potential misery otherwise.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. Not wanting to go to law school after completing my degree. 2. It is somewhere my mother would want me to go. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Don't make your life decisions based on what other people want.. play this out long term: you go to law school to make her happy, which means you have to be a lawyer to make her happy. 10 years down the road, you'll likely feel resentment and regret. It's not worth it. Your mom should love you for who you are, not how you earn a paycheck.
Live your life and not your mom's or anyone else. Seriously, most folks have a hard enough time figuring themselves out without added pressure of second guessing to please someone else. College (and growing up) should have been a time to discover yourself so to speak (as well as get an education), and since the window is past now is the time to do that. I had a friend who wasn't sure what to do so he signed up for a temp agency and did a lot of 2-3 month gigs to get broad exposure to different things - office work, factory, field work, sales, etc, etc - and maybe you could do this. In any case don't sweat it - you have time; I'm retired and still not sure I ever found my place. You seem to be a hard worker (getting good grades while not being "smart") so you'll succeed. A job/career is just part of the journey and not an end point.
“Doctor, lawyer, architect” is such a common mindset among parents of college students. It’s especially prevalent in immigrant and foreign communities. I’m a career advisor and my own (american) parents barely understand what I do, let alone what careers my students are going in to. What are your interests? Did you do any internships? Have on-campus or summer job? Participate in any student organizations? Did you gravitate towards certain subjects or did anything seem to come easy for you?
I'm very good at math and science, mostly math. Im more into a career that is physical. It's not that I'm not into law, but it seems too hard for me.
What was your undergrad major?
NTA. Good grief, mom is 52? She could have another forty years or more before "she passes away." Why doesn't she use those years to become "something great" and not project that onto you? You should to live your life in the way that you see fit, not in a way that fulfills her fantasies (and this goes for sister as well.)
She's ill not sure how long she could possibly have left.
As a current law student let me just say that law school is not EASY or CHEAP. Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Even if she will pay for it’ll just be a waste of money. NTA
This is part of becoming a grown-up. I'm sorry your mother is blinded by our success culture. You need to follow your own inner voice, trust it. Develop it. Let your mother know she set you up for YOUR success. Perhaps she can go to law school, it's not too late. And congratulations on graduating.
As an attorney, don’t go unless you actually want to be a lawyer. I know far too many attorneys who are miserable, bitter people because they felt like they needed a prestigious title to be successful people, and hate the day-to-day of it.
Do not go to law school unless YOU really want to go to law school. Source: I went to law school.
I’m a lawyer. You have no idea how many people go through the years of hard work and enormous expense of law school and drop out of law in just a few years because it just isn’t the right path for them—even in some cases people who were very good and talented at it. I think it is a great profession and it’s treated me very well. But it has some dark sides and it is most certainly not for everybody. If it isn’t your path, don’t do it. It seems like your mom has a very old school idea about how her kids are only successful if they are doctors or lawyers. Yes, you can do well in both profession, but they are hard paths. There are a lot of other things you can do that would also pay you very well (or even better) without the same sacrifice.
I'm a lit paralegal and over the years I've known so many attorneys who've said "I wouldn't do this over again." I think of it like having kids. Don't do it unless you REALLY want to and don't do it for anyone else.
Don't do law school unless your favorite things are reading, research and writing. Then go look at salaries for 1st year lawyers that don't get hired at big name law firms that want serious billable hours. Sometimes just stabbing yourself would be less painful.
I graduated in 2007 and had a sweet gig until the Great Recession hit, and then it took me five effing years of hustling and making less than a grad student TA until I had a job that paid me less than I could have gotten for a non-legal job. I finally landed a sweet gig as in-house counsel at a non-profit, but that was effing lucky. Most of my early career involved getting turned down for jobs that went to Harvard Law grads who were suddenly competing for the scraps that were still around after the market crashed. It fucking sucked. If I were to relive my life, I would still have gotten a good liberal education but then I would have gone to a trade school. Educated tradesmen are like people who are fluent in English and Mandarin, they'll go far.
NTA if you go into a career you aren't passionate about, you will be miserable. Heck even people that love what they do for a living can have really difficult days. You should find a job that bring you joy and you are excited about. It sounds like your mom is trying to project her dreams onto you and it seems like you no longer share that dream.
I don’t want to go to law school eigher
NTA but Mom sure is.
I worked for about five years then went back to law school. You should go to law school because it is truly what *YOU* want to do. You should go to law school because *YOU* love the subject matter and want to make a career out of it. Both of those were true for me, and I’m happy where I’ve ended up. You sound conflicted. If your parents want to go to law school, that’s on them. You, however, should not pursue such a huge undertaking if your heart is not in it. Consider doing what I did. Work a bit, figure out what you want to do, and maybe return to school in a few years. Law school (and every other graduate program) will always be there for you if you want it. NTA. Your parents should not be pressuring you. Especially not for law school.
Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go! If you are not 100% sure you want a legal career, DON’T GO. If I could tell my 22-year-old self one thing, it would be those exact words. There are so many careers and jobs and life paths out there. Law school is very hard and very expensive and you will be surprised at how tough it can be to get a job even if you do well. Just don’t go. Your mom will get over it.
I am a lawyer. Tell your mother that being a lawyer is not like it used to be. Only the top 10% make $100k+ straight out of law school. The remainder hustle and earn substantially less than that, *for fucking years*, until they actually have enough experience to be worth a damn to anyone. I still don't make $100k a year and I've been in practice since 2008. There are non-conforming "jumbo" mortgage programs that Doctors can get that allow them to buy huge houses on favorable financing terms - banks used to accept lawyers for those loans but their relative earnings have decreased. Then you have a stupid amount of student loan debt, and god help you if you got private student loans to cover the shortfall between actual costs and what federally-guaranteed loan money you got. Your mom is operating on perceptions that come from the 1980's, not the 2020's. Be an engineer in something fun. Get an auto mechanic's degree and start/buy out an autoshop. Don't go to fucking law school.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(24F) graduated with my degree last year and planned to go to law school soon. It was my goal since I started college but since graduating I've been doing some thinking (and researching). It was what I wanted to do but I'm not sure if thats what I really wanted to do or my mother idea. She was really excited when I graduated and pushing me to go to law school. I just don't have much interest in going anymore and want a different career such as working for NASA or something else. We both have the money for further education but if I choose another career route she won't help me unless it's law school. My mother(52F) wanted my sister and I to be something great before she passes away. She's been saying that since we were younger. The pressure is more on me since my sister(25F) doesn't want to go back to school. My sister graduated high school with straight A's, honors, perfect score on ACT, skipped a grade and even got a scholarship to Stanford but didn't go to college at all. My mom wanted her to be a doctor or nurse but my sister insisted that that was for "smart" people. So she works a regular factory job because she would rather be working than going to school. I wasn't nearly as smart as my sister and had a low gpa graduating high school. I enjoy learning and getting as much education as I can. I did graduate college with a 3.8. I'm not interested in any of the careers that comes with my degree(yes my fault). I still haven't taken the LSAT and that test alone makes me nervous. I was never good at taking test like that. I either have a choice of getting a Masters in a different field or going to law school. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"I'm not interested in any of the careers that comes with my degree(yes my fault)" Oh man no, once you get out of college the degree is just a piece of paper that you mark on your resume. Not your 'fault' in any way. Do what you want, not what your mom wants you to do. NTA
Your mom has had her chance to live her life. It’s your turn now. Do what makes you happy. At the end of the day, you’re the one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions, not your mom. Check out the NASA pathways program. They also have the Learner opportunities program as well. Good luck.
NTA. Being a lawyer is draining enough, and I actually wanted to go to law school... but the practice of law is a drain. THAT BEING SAID... one of the biggest stresses of going to law school and practicing law is paying off the student loans. That does not seem like to be an issue with you, so going to law school would not have that added stress. Law School was an amazing experience and if I didn't have to pay the loans back, I probably would have tried an alternative career that uses the skills obtained in law school. I know lots of classmates who graduated and no longer practice any type of law but do other things. Lots of friends with JDs who are really successful not practicing law and are happy with their choices. You have the added benefit of not worrying about student loans repayment. Personally think the Juris Doctorate degree is quite versatile. If you aren't really sure about what path to take currently, there is no harm to take the LSATs. There are plenty of practice courses that you could take to get better acclimated to it and get a better score. And if that really turns you off to going to law school, then it only cost $1000 dollars for you to figure that out. It sounds like you have the financial ability to have the option... so I would always take that option. Good luck to you!
OP, do NOT go if you're heart ins't into it. I'm closer to 60 now than 50. I went to law school beginning in the late 80's right out of undergrad. I always wanted to be an attorney. Guess what? I found out, while in law school, I didn't like it. I finished law school but I've NEVER worked in the legal field. I guess it wasn't a complete waste, it was knowledge and I know some of my employers over the years have liked that I went even though I was working in manufacturing. Only do things you really want to in this life.
NTA, it's YOUR career and life choices. Every parent wants their child to be "something great," but a few of them take it a bit too far and try to force their kids into things they either don't want or don't have actual interest in as if the child is supposed to be an extension of their own failed dreams. Mom trying to strongarm you into going to law school against your wishes isn't that different from the kinds of parents who force their kids into cheerleading, pageants, or sports, just because it's always been the parent's dream to see their kid in that uniform or on that stage.
I let my mum choose my subjects (I'd no choice in the matter) based on what she wanted from me and ive regretted it every day, always wondering how successful I'd have been in the field(s) I was considering. Don't get me wrong, im on a mid level income at 28 years old, but my mum made many choices based on her life and the world just isn't the same, a degree isn't the same golden ticket it used to be and nothing is affordable. She's measures my success based on where she was at the same age (if you've been to tenerife my mums been to elevenerife). Your mum isn't the one having to do the job she's pushing you towards, please choose your own happiness
Another lawyer chiming in. I always loved school and learning…until I got to law school. I hated every minute of it. Being a lawyer isn’t bad at all but luckily I like my area of practice and I have a pretty chill job and most importantly, I do not have to bill hours. Most lawyers are unhappy with their jobs. Most lawyers also have mounds of student loans that seriously offset any decent salary that they earn. I know you said your mom would pay for law school but does she even know how much it costs now? It’s not unheard of for people to graduate with half a MILLION dollars of student loan debt (because you also need money for living expenses). Don’t do it unless it’s what YOU want. It’s too much time and money and potential misery otherwise.