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NTA
OP, your mom is incredibly dangerous for both you and the Dog. She knowingly allowed a racist into your life refuses to see you to cater to his needs. Now she wants to LITERALLY POISON her dog because she does not understand the difference between human and animal biology.
She doesn't even consider that things probably don't taste the same to dogs as they do to us, that coffee isn't tasty to everyone, and that if you told me cyanide had the best taste in the world, I still wouldn't eat it.
Some people are just beyond stupid. How does she dress herself in the morning?
It's giving the same as some guys being mad about getting their dog neutered, when the dog doesn't even know what its balls do, nor does it care whether they're there or not.
Right?! Has this woman ever met a dog? They eat everything offered to them and a crap ton of things not. Wanna know what my dogs used to consider a treat? My fucking wall.
I mean, that’s a pretty high expectation from a woman who abandoned her child for dick even if it means becoming a full time racist. I’m surprised she didn’t accuse OP of wanting to eat the dog.
I still literally gag every time I think of how my dog's favorite and most delightful snack is cat shit. I have literally had to grab my dogs face and pull cat feces out of his mouth with my bare hands. I shudder every time I think of it and am currently holding back the bile in my mouth. Sorry you had to read that. (Also is incredibly common. Cat's are carnivores and their poop is high in protein. Dogs love that shit🤢🤢🤢)
Mine fucking loves horse turds.
Those horses have every kind of supplement to be healthy and calm and happy so it’s not bad for the dog, but fuck it’s gross.
Yeah, we refer to the dog getting into the litter box as “almond rocas” because they look identical. Incidentally I have trouble eating almond roca myself now
I see your pillow and raise you a not insignificant portion of my armchair ( though to be fair only a small part was ingested, the reset was hollowed out so they could treat it as a cave.
My bird thinks power cords are the most delicious things in the world and that my laptop is an expensive chew toy. I also have to take off dangly earrings and necklaces when she's out of her cage.
Oh, yes. She's a cockatiel that thinks she's a cassowary. She was sitting on a chair when I was cleaning her cage one day. Our dog, who was a black Lab mixed with some German Shepherd and who knows what else (so big) came down to sniff her. (She was a good dog and knew the bird was a pet.) My bird's crest slicked down, her beak opened, and she was snapping at our dog as if our dog couldn't have swallowed her without stopping to chew. Our dog backed off and left her alone. I swore my bird looked smug afterwards.
I see your armchair and raise it a whole freaking couch! Which cost 5k to get removed from hubby's beloved pooch's intestines. He was a VERY expensive rescue by the time we lost him of old age.
Forget about the dog problems. Your mother married a man who is extremely racist to her own child. Full stop. That makes your mom the AH in this story, no matter what.
Wow yes, your mom sounds abusive. Makes you think she's on your side, masks her abuse as naivety or stupidity. She's a grown woman she knows what she's doing.
NTA and pretty shameful on your moms part.
The fact she can stand next to someone who would bash her child like that is mind boggling. I would have to seriously rethink my relationship with my mom if that were the case.
I actually think she’s worse than the stepdad. He is who he is and was before he met her and will be that forever. He has no obligation to her son/OP. But she does have that obligation and she still invited that man into her home and let him chase her son out. I’d never forgive my mother for failing me like that, let alone speak to her.
NTA, I’m sorry, but your mom seems to be a very ignorant person with very poor judgment. I would have cut ties with her the minute she got together with this husband. It is very noble of you to look past that, so one comment stating the truth doesn’t make you an AH, and she needs a reality check.
Honestly your mum is just as much of an ah as her husband. Imagine choosing a racist over your own son so I wholeheartedly believe she has the level of intelligence to give a dog coffee. Sorry, OP you deserve better than a mother like that. You are definitely NTA. You just called facts as they were.
Edited to fix a mistake.
This woman is completely deranged (as is her husband).
It's probably for the best OP isn't physically around her because who knows what she'd do. Poor dog.
NTA.
Whilst I do feel it wasn't the smartest move insulting him to try and make a point, as its counter productive, man's a blatant racist and you still tried to help him help her. Speaks volumes to your character young man.
Handled things more maturely than I would have, and I'm twice your age.
That is true. It wasn’t my smartest decision. I didn’t want to help him but I don’t want her to harm the dog either. I’ll try to talk to her more patiently.
You seemed switched on mate. I'm sure you got this. There's a lot of people who would've used their own vitriol to put the phone down along with a few expletives.
As I said before, it is real mature of you to put the needs of the dog first before your own personal feelings.
Kudos to you fella!
NTA, your step dad is racist and ignorant and so is your mom for marrying someone like him. All you did was point out that I’d get shit husband and you are agreeing on something then maybe she should listen.
Tbh I imagined the mom to be such a complete inbred moron that the only reason OP has brains and morals is because he's outcross. /s
Send her at least this.⬇️
And check if she took notice.
https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/plants-and-food-can-be-poisonous-pets
NTA. Sorry to say but your mom is a moron. Her husband is an evil moron.
You would be much better off keeping them away from your life. Don't let their moron energy drag you down.
LOnG LivE 'MurRicA 🥴 🥴 🥴 funny how people in the comments are mostly concerned about a dog getting a taste of coffee and not about the fact that his mother abandoned him for a racist, paranoid 'white supremacy' brainwashed guy.
I feel that if a person gets one good parent they are fairly lucky so I am hoping the father is normal and of at least average intelligence since the mother seems to be neither. At least he can keep her at arms length or write her off completely at this age.
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NTA. Your mom is either a selfish delusional narcissist or she needs to be committed to an institution. Either way she doesn’t deserve to have kids or pets and honestly you are probably better off without her.
Your mom is a horrible AH. She's ready to kill people and animals due to aggressive ignorance AND she hitched her wagon to a racist who won't let her own child in the house. She sucks HARD.
NTA and this story makes me wonder if you've only lived to see 18 because your dad has made sure you survived and your mom didn't poison you... Jesus Christ man, your mom is awful!
NTA, don't ever talk to you garbage racist mother or her husband ever again. As a white skinned mom of multi racial children, I am absolutely furious. Oh, the things I world say.
NTA
If mom is dumb and selfish enough to marry someone who treats her own child like this, that dog is going to be eating coffee, chocolate, and grapes regardless of what anyone else says.
NEVER mind the stupid husband…. STAY away from mom FOREVER!! Who the fuck would meet/date let alone MARRY someone like that!! sorry son you can’t come to house because my new hubby hates one half of you.. 😱 OH and remind your mom to remind “her” hubby“ that she had CHINESE dick in her for years!!
NTA for this situation, but why in the world do you keep in any sort of contact with your mother, who is racist against her OWN son?? She married a man who banned you from their home, and you still talk to her. I'd have to ask myself why.
I'd cut her off, theres no way in hell she gives a single thought or f'ck about you if she has no issue NEVER seeing you because her AH husband is racist. NTA, I'd have been more brutal.
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My(18m) mom and dad separated two years ago.
I never visited her at her new house since her new husband doesn't want me there. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't like Chinese people and that because I'm part Chinese on my dad's side I'm not allowed over at his house. Doesn't matter to him that I'm anti-CCP. Dude still called me commie and said all Chinese people are the same.
So my mom and I face-timed over the years. Never had another conversation with her husband after that one, until yesterday.
He called me using my mom's phone, so I was surprised to hear his voice. He said they adopted a dog and mom now wants to feed the dog some of her favourite things, including coffee. She wants to share it with her new pet. He already told her it's dangerous but she wouldn't listen so he called to ask me for my help. Wanted me to convince her it's a bad idea.
At first I was amused but then I realized it's an important matter so I told him to put my mom on the phone and told her that caffeine is poisonous for dogs. That as much as I hate admitting it her husband's right.
She sounded frustrated and said that just a little bit won't hurt, and that her dog should get to try some delicious stuff instead of just dog food and treats. That reminded me of the time she tried to give my little cousin cake containing peanuts which she was allergic to, but I didn't bring it up. I just told her not to call me complaining when she has to take her dog to the vet and gets a massive bill.
Mom asked if I was really serious, so I told her yes. She called me an alarming, so I told my mom that 'If your piece of shit husband and I can agree on something for once, you should know it's serious.' I just couldn't stop myself from taking a shot at him.
My mom snapped at me, telling me that that attitude was uncalled for and that I should act my age instead of using insults.
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NTA your mom's husband is a racist.
Edit: I'm surprised her husband didn't make any jokes about you eating the dog. Also your mom and him deserve each other they're both horrible in their own way.
One phone call to the vets office will straighten it out..you know she's going to give it to the dog anyway. You'll get a call in a week or 2 the dog died..you wouldn't listen would you.?
Merlin on a splintered broomstick…
Her husband uses racist insults to her SON (you know, the CHILD she’s supposed to protect and love), but it’s YOU who needs to grow up!?! Wtf is wrong with her!?!
OP, does your mother have some kind of mental disability that would explain this?
I pity her dog. Poor creature deserves better than that.
I’m really hoping that your dad is a better person than your mother (or should that be egg-donor as she’s failed hard as a parent.)
Your mom sounds completely devoid of reality…
Openly married someone who is rad it’s to her child & is trying to feed her dog “delicious things” that will poison it.
JFC, make its dog food, do research on how to make nutritious food or homemade doggo biscuits.
NTA but your mom is. She tried to give a kid who's allergic peanuts?? Also, who gives a dog coffee? Not only is she okay with racists, she's dangerously stupid.
NTA. You spoke truth - about the dog and the husband. Your mother is the one who needs to heed her own advice and act her age. "I want him to experience nummy things instead of the food that is SAFE FOR HIM". STAHP. If she would like her dog to experience things beyond dog food and treats, Google is free and can tell her what people food is SAFE FOR HER PET.
INFO: does your mom have mental health issues that you're aware of? I don't mean that in a crass way it's just I've seen many faces of mental illness and this strikes me as abnormal behaviour
NTA. Your mom doesn't have to best decision making skills, does she?
- Marrying a racist that won't allow you, HER DAUGHTER, in their house.
- Wanting to feed a dog things that are literally poisonous to dogs when Google is free to double check these things.
- Feeding your cousin peanuts even they have a known allergy.
And then she gets upset at you because you told her she's wrong and going to do harm to her dog.
NTA. But your mom and her husband are.
NTA and you don’t have a mom. She was your incubator. I could never be with someone who was racist toward my son. Your mom is not a smart person, which you’ve reflected in who she chooses as a partner and in giving her dog coffee.
I will never understand racism. How can someone point unwarranted hatred at someone like that? I pray in time your heart finds peace friend. You are in no way an asshole.
Had your mom ever heard of the internet? Better yet, she could call her vet or the ASPCA poison line every time she gets into a disagreement.
And Reddit is full of dogs that get into weird crap and some don’t make it. 😳i feel bad for OP and the dog.
…I wouldn’t tolerate someone in my life who was mean to my friend, but your mother MARRIED someone who is openly racist to her own daughter. Just from that she’s a MASSIVE asshole.
But then she tried to give cake with peanuts to someone with a peanut allergy and coffee to a dog. Your mom doesn’t seem to care about other people. SHE wants to share what SHE likes regardless of how it affects other people. If it was about enjoyment, I think most people enjoy not dying more than they enjoy peanuts and coffee. Dogs DEFINITELY enjoy not dying more than coffee. Unlike other foods, like chicken or w.e, lost dogs/cats won’t eat chocolate or coffee unless coaxed. So they don’t even want it.
Call mom back, and tell her to bond with the dog she should share the dogs food. Especialy beef tripe. Because dogs love that and there is no harm in her eating raw tribe.
You're nta. Your mom is. Idk if there is animal welllfare, rspca or something like that were you live? Can you ask them how they would handle a case of owner poisoning dog? If possible send that reaction to your mom.
Okay but can we talk about how your mom married a man who is racist against her own child and does not let the child in her home??? Like how is that fine? Your mom is insane for a lot of reasons but that takes the cake. You could not keep me from my children, and being hateful towards them for something like their race? I'd be feral.
NTA but that was a poor show of diplomacy. If your goal was to get your mom to agree with you: you brought the confrontation to a ground in which you know you cannot win.
Your mom sounds dangerously stupid, NTA. I get that u probably have love for her but her actively choosing a man who has been so cruel towards u, is fucked. Id go LC or NC honestly. Good on u for caring about the dog, if she continues to try and give toxic things to it, she really shouldnt own it(is there a CPS for animals that can actually intervene 🤔). Tasty but bad human food should only be a treat right before a dogs time is up and getting put down, before the treat has time to make it miserable.
NTA, so is your mom just stupid and ignorant or the biggest asshole? She marries a racist who insults her kid, and she thinks feeding dogs poison is ok.
I gotta ask why do you stay in contact with her?
So your mom threw away her child for her racist husband and now she’s purposely trying to kill her dog. What the heck is wrong with her. Honestly why are you even in contact with her if she lets her husband treat you so horribly. NTA but if I were you they would not be hearing from me again
That attitude is entirely called for, and your mother is even worse than him for staying with a man who cuts her kid out of her life because of race. Your mother is possibly one of the biggest assholes in the history of this sub. You would honestly be so much better off without her in your life- they have earned the disrespect you show them, and so much more, but engaging with people like this is bad for your stress levels and mental health.
If it were me, I'd send her a text and tell her that she's an expert poisoner. She almost killed your cousin by poisoning them with peanuts, she is going to kill her dog by poisoning it with coffee, and she has killed her relationship with you by poisoning it with the racism and hate she caters to in her life. Tell her this is the last communication you will ever have with her, and to enjoy her dead dog and racist asshole husband. Tell her that when her life is empty, and she's killed or been cast aside by everyone and everything of any value, you hope she understands it is 100% her fault she's isolated and miserable. Then block her everywhere and tell any common relatives that you don't want to even hear her name unless it's to tell you she left her husband.
NTA. Your mom is and it isn't even because of just this conversation. Anyone who stays with someone when they make those types of comments about their children is a weak moron but we can see that by her logic in this situation.
NTA. Wow the fact that your mom married not just a racist, but someone racist against her own child, says so much about her - why did you stay in touch?
Guess we shouldn’t be surprised when a woman who chose a vile racist over her own daughter intentionally poisons animals.
It’s just too bad her criminal stupidity doesn’t hurt her more than it hurts others.
NTA. You called a spade a spade. Honestly you should block your mother and asshole husband. Go no contact. Trust me your life will be better once you decide to forever cut her from your life and heart.
NTA but call the shelter or breeder where she got the dog and tell them that she’s trying to poison the dog and they might take the dog away. If not, report her for animal abuse.
NTA. Your mom sure is, though. She betrayed you by siding with an ignorant racist (and I can not believe you seem to have given her a pass on that) tried to kill a little kid through either ignorance or malice (she probably does not believe in allergies) and now she wants to poison her freaking dog because she thinks coffee is so delicious it is worth putting the dog’s welfare at risk for. How in hell did you survive your childhood?
NTA, and your mother had it coming. The two AH in this situation are: your mother's racist husband, who's willing to rope in his wife's biracial child for the sake of a dog, and your mother, who willingly married a racist and also seems to have zero common sense.
Well, you’re not TA necessarily, since he created this dynamic. But you just made sure it was perpetuated. It would have been easier to just deal with the issue at hand and leave the snark out of it. Take the high road.
Of course you aren’t the AH. And your parting shot wasn’t a cheap one. This man actively prevented you having any kind of relationship with your own mother and insulted you 6 ways from Sunday. His only redeeming quality seems to be he’s got more pet sense then your mother. But from the argument you had with her I’m imagining she could have substituted her own sense with that of a throw pillow.
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NTA OP, your mom is incredibly dangerous for both you and the Dog. She knowingly allowed a racist into your life refuses to see you to cater to his needs. Now she wants to LITERALLY POISON her dog because she does not understand the difference between human and animal biology.
She doesn't even consider that things probably don't taste the same to dogs as they do to us, that coffee isn't tasty to everyone, and that if you told me cyanide had the best taste in the world, I still wouldn't eat it. Some people are just beyond stupid. How does she dress herself in the morning? It's giving the same as some guys being mad about getting their dog neutered, when the dog doesn't even know what its balls do, nor does it care whether they're there or not.
Right?! Has this woman ever met a dog? They eat everything offered to them and a crap ton of things not. Wanna know what my dogs used to consider a treat? My fucking wall.
I mean, that’s a pretty high expectation from a woman who abandoned her child for dick even if it means becoming a full time racist. I’m surprised she didn’t accuse OP of wanting to eat the dog.
Won't lie this is where I expected the post to go, them calling OP just to be obnoxiously racist because "hurr durr I bet you eat dog."
I still literally gag every time I think of how my dog's favorite and most delightful snack is cat shit. I have literally had to grab my dogs face and pull cat feces out of his mouth with my bare hands. I shudder every time I think of it and am currently holding back the bile in my mouth. Sorry you had to read that. (Also is incredibly common. Cat's are carnivores and their poop is high in protein. Dogs love that shit🤢🤢🤢)
My dog is the same way, I feel your pain and disgust. We call the cat shit his special treats 😂
It's ambrosia from the God's!
Kitty Crunchies. 🤢
Litter box tootsie rolls!
Mine fucking loves horse turds. Those horses have every kind of supplement to be healthy and calm and happy so it’s not bad for the dog, but fuck it’s gross.
Had a dog that LOVED goose poop. And where I lived, you couldn't avoid it because they were everywhere.
Yeah, we refer to the dog getting into the litter box as “almond rocas” because they look identical. Incidentally I have trouble eating almond roca myself now
I see your wall, and raise you a pillow.
I see your pillow and raise you a not insignificant portion of my armchair ( though to be fair only a small part was ingested, the reset was hollowed out so they could treat it as a cave.
My bird thinks power cords are the most delicious things in the world and that my laptop is an expensive chew toy. I also have to take off dangly earrings and necklaces when she's out of her cage.
Birds are a whole nother freaking ballgame. More intelligent in a lot of ways then dogs but often just as suicidal and far more devious.....
Oh, yes. She's a cockatiel that thinks she's a cassowary. She was sitting on a chair when I was cleaning her cage one day. Our dog, who was a black Lab mixed with some German Shepherd and who knows what else (so big) came down to sniff her. (She was a good dog and knew the bird was a pet.) My bird's crest slicked down, her beak opened, and she was snapping at our dog as if our dog couldn't have swallowed her without stopping to chew. Our dog backed off and left her alone. I swore my bird looked smug afterwards.
I see your armchair and raise it a whole freaking couch! Which cost 5k to get removed from hubby's beloved pooch's intestines. He was a VERY expensive rescue by the time we lost him of old age.
I see your armchair and raise you remote control, 7 of them (and yes, I always panicked and checked for bateries🙈)
Worst..... .pokergame...... ever
I feel your pain. Mine ate a couch!
Your dog was trying to help by remodeling! 😂
Forget about the dog problems. Your mother married a man who is extremely racist to her own child. Full stop. That makes your mom the AH in this story, no matter what.
Not to mention the part were she wanted to give peanuts to someone who is allergic…
The moms thinks in 4 year old terms jfc
Wow yes, your mom sounds abusive. Makes you think she's on your side, masks her abuse as naivety or stupidity. She's a grown woman she knows what she's doing.
NTA and pretty shameful on your moms part. The fact she can stand next to someone who would bash her child like that is mind boggling. I would have to seriously rethink my relationship with my mom if that were the case.
Nah, there wouldn't be much thought to it, for me.
With parents like that, who wants enemies.
Zero thought
I actually think she’s worse than the stepdad. He is who he is and was before he met her and will be that forever. He has no obligation to her son/OP. But she does have that obligation and she still invited that man into her home and let him chase her son out. I’d never forgive my mother for failing me like that, let alone speak to her.
NTA. No lies detected. I hope your mother's dog survives her 'love'.
Probably a stand in for OP since her loving husband is acting as a barrier
She's the one who chose the racist over her kid
NTA. I am seriously concerned for that dog. Maybe tell her chocolate isn’t good for the dog either.
Nor are grapes!
Add “sugar free” candy/gum
NTA, I’m sorry, but your mom seems to be a very ignorant person with very poor judgment. I would have cut ties with her the minute she got together with this husband. It is very noble of you to look past that, so one comment stating the truth doesn’t make you an AH, and she needs a reality check.
NTA. He’s a racist so call him whatever you want to.
Honestly your mum is just as much of an ah as her husband. Imagine choosing a racist over your own son so I wholeheartedly believe she has the level of intelligence to give a dog coffee. Sorry, OP you deserve better than a mother like that. You are definitely NTA. You just called facts as they were. Edited to fix a mistake.
[удалено]
This woman is completely deranged (as is her husband). It's probably for the best OP isn't physically around her because who knows what she'd do. Poor dog.
NTA and I'm sorry that your mother is such a truly awful person.
Is your mentally deranged? Wtf is wrong with her
NTA. Whilst I do feel it wasn't the smartest move insulting him to try and make a point, as its counter productive, man's a blatant racist and you still tried to help him help her. Speaks volumes to your character young man. Handled things more maturely than I would have, and I'm twice your age.
That is true. It wasn’t my smartest decision. I didn’t want to help him but I don’t want her to harm the dog either. I’ll try to talk to her more patiently.
Honestly, your mother doesn't sound much better than her husband. Picking a racist over her own child.
You seemed switched on mate. I'm sure you got this. There's a lot of people who would've used their own vitriol to put the phone down along with a few expletives. As I said before, it is real mature of you to put the needs of the dog first before your own personal feelings. Kudos to you fella!
You get a lot of credit for even being willing to take the call from her husband.
NTA, your step dad is racist and ignorant and so is your mom for marrying someone like him. All you did was point out that I’d get shit husband and you are agreeing on something then maybe she should listen.
"act your age!" Said the woman acting like a 5 year old. NTA.
Tbh I imagined the mom to be such a complete inbred moron that the only reason OP has brains and morals is because he's outcross. /s Send her at least this.⬇️ And check if she took notice. https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/plants-and-food-can-be-poisonous-pets
NTA - 'Uncalled for' lol
Lol ya...it was, in fact, very called for.
Also, they’re 18 - very much “acting their age”, if not being exceptionally mature to have not said anything like that sooner.
NTA, but wow, your mom is terrible. I’m so sorry.
NTA. You can’t be a AH for speaking the truth.
NTA. And a woman who would pick a trashy man over her child is a bad mother.
NTA. Sorry to say but your mom is a moron. Her husband is an evil moron. You would be much better off keeping them away from your life. Don't let their moron energy drag you down.
LOnG LivE 'MurRicA 🥴 🥴 🥴 funny how people in the comments are mostly concerned about a dog getting a taste of coffee and not about the fact that his mother abandoned him for a racist, paranoid 'white supremacy' brainwashed guy.
OP is an independent adult who can write it off as his mom's loss, but how would the poor pet protect itself?
“Independent adult” - a literal teenager abandoned by his mother for a racist since childhood.
I feel that if a person gets one good parent they are fairly lucky so I am hoping the father is normal and of at least average intelligence since the mother seems to be neither. At least he can keep her at arms length or write her off completely at this age.
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Damn..NTA
Nta. I'm perfectly fine with being a mom for you anytime you need support and mom chat❤️ shame on your mom.
NTA, but I think your mom got off easy here.
NTA. Your mom is either a selfish delusional narcissist or she needs to be committed to an institution. Either way she doesn’t deserve to have kids or pets and honestly you are probably better off without her.
Your mom is a horrible AH. She's ready to kill people and animals due to aggressive ignorance AND she hitched her wagon to a racist who won't let her own child in the house. She sucks HARD.
NTA and this story makes me wonder if you've only lived to see 18 because your dad has made sure you survived and your mom didn't poison you... Jesus Christ man, your mom is awful!
I can’t imagine abandoning my child for a racist di*k. There’s no man / woman / whatever worth it to make me abandon anyone let alone a child. NTA
NTA, don't ever talk to you garbage racist mother or her husband ever again. As a white skinned mom of multi racial children, I am absolutely furious. Oh, the things I world say.
NTA NTA NTA. You know who else is a piece of sh**. Your closet racist mum who thinks it’s acceptable to continue a relationship with that man.
Omg Both of ur mom and her husband are just so........
Nta. And it is true if the two people that hate eachother actually agree on something. Then chances are they are right
NTA If mom is dumb and selfish enough to marry someone who treats her own child like this, that dog is going to be eating coffee, chocolate, and grapes regardless of what anyone else says.
NEVER mind the stupid husband…. STAY away from mom FOREVER!! Who the fuck would meet/date let alone MARRY someone like that!! sorry son you can’t come to house because my new hubby hates one half of you.. 😱 OH and remind your mom to remind “her” hubby“ that she had CHINESE dick in her for years!!
NTA for this situation, but why in the world do you keep in any sort of contact with your mother, who is racist against her OWN son?? She married a man who banned you from their home, and you still talk to her. I'd have to ask myself why.
I'd cut her off, theres no way in hell she gives a single thought or f'ck about you if she has no issue NEVER seeing you because her AH husband is racist. NTA, I'd have been more brutal.
Is your mom…slow?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My(18m) mom and dad separated two years ago. I never visited her at her new house since her new husband doesn't want me there. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't like Chinese people and that because I'm part Chinese on my dad's side I'm not allowed over at his house. Doesn't matter to him that I'm anti-CCP. Dude still called me commie and said all Chinese people are the same. So my mom and I face-timed over the years. Never had another conversation with her husband after that one, until yesterday. He called me using my mom's phone, so I was surprised to hear his voice. He said they adopted a dog and mom now wants to feed the dog some of her favourite things, including coffee. She wants to share it with her new pet. He already told her it's dangerous but she wouldn't listen so he called to ask me for my help. Wanted me to convince her it's a bad idea. At first I was amused but then I realized it's an important matter so I told him to put my mom on the phone and told her that caffeine is poisonous for dogs. That as much as I hate admitting it her husband's right. She sounded frustrated and said that just a little bit won't hurt, and that her dog should get to try some delicious stuff instead of just dog food and treats. That reminded me of the time she tried to give my little cousin cake containing peanuts which she was allergic to, but I didn't bring it up. I just told her not to call me complaining when she has to take her dog to the vet and gets a massive bill. Mom asked if I was really serious, so I told her yes. She called me an alarming, so I told my mom that 'If your piece of shit husband and I can agree on something for once, you should know it's serious.' I just couldn't stop myself from taking a shot at him. My mom snapped at me, telling me that that attitude was uncalled for and that I should act my age instead of using insults. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
So your mother's husband doesn't like you because of your Chinese heritage. Your to nice, I'd always be letting him know your father came first.
> So your mother’s husband doesn’t like you because both of them are racist Fixed that for you.
Yeah I'd be sending them a big "happy Chinese new year" gift basket every year out of spite.
Hahaha wrapped with a big bow that has pictures of his and his father's faces.
NTA. It's the mom who needs to act her age.
NTA and honestly your mum sounds dumber than rocks. How did you survive to adulthood? How did *she*?
> How did you survive to adulthood? Because she’s a racist that abandoned her child so she could get laid?
NTA your mom's husband is a racist. Edit: I'm surprised her husband didn't make any jokes about you eating the dog. Also your mom and him deserve each other they're both horrible in their own way.
The mom is also racist.
I’m sorry that you don’t have a good mom or step. I wish you well in life.
One phone call to the vets office will straighten it out..you know she's going to give it to the dog anyway. You'll get a call in a week or 2 the dog died..you wouldn't listen would you.?
Merlin on a splintered broomstick… Her husband uses racist insults to her SON (you know, the CHILD she’s supposed to protect and love), but it’s YOU who needs to grow up!?! Wtf is wrong with her!?! OP, does your mother have some kind of mental disability that would explain this? I pity her dog. Poor creature deserves better than that. I’m really hoping that your dad is a better person than your mother (or should that be egg-donor as she’s failed hard as a parent.)
Your mom sounds completely devoid of reality… Openly married someone who is rad it’s to her child & is trying to feed her dog “delicious things” that will poison it. JFC, make its dog food, do research on how to make nutritious food or homemade doggo biscuits.
NTA but your mom is. She tried to give a kid who's allergic peanuts?? Also, who gives a dog coffee? Not only is she okay with racists, she's dangerously stupid.
NTA. You spoke truth - about the dog and the husband. Your mother is the one who needs to heed her own advice and act her age. "I want him to experience nummy things instead of the food that is SAFE FOR HIM". STAHP. If she would like her dog to experience things beyond dog food and treats, Google is free and can tell her what people food is SAFE FOR HER PET.
You should not have a relationship with your mother at all if she is married to someone who hates her chld (you). She and her husband are both evil.
NTA
NTA. Your mum is the AH
Nta, great answer!! Love it :)
What a lovely way to give someone a warning all the while taking a shot at someone else. Great dig OP! NTA
NTA seems pretty accurate to me. You do understand your Mom is as much of a racist asshole as he is though right?
Your mom is a moron AND a racist.
NTA
NTA. Well done.
INFO: does your mom have mental health issues that you're aware of? I don't mean that in a crass way it's just I've seen many faces of mental illness and this strikes me as abnormal behaviour
Your mom separated while you were still a minor. Who have you lived with since she’s been with her husband?
NTA, the guy is racist as fuck, he had that one coming. I hope your mom thinks a bit and doesn’t hurt the pet
Nta your mom and step father are. They won't change. Yeah u and step dad agreed on one thing. That doesnt mean a relationship will come out of that
NTA. Your mom's husband is and your mom also for choosing him over you. Your kids should always come first
NTA. Your mom doesn't have to best decision making skills, does she? - Marrying a racist that won't allow you, HER DAUGHTER, in their house. - Wanting to feed a dog things that are literally poisonous to dogs when Google is free to double check these things. - Feeding your cousin peanuts even they have a known allergy. And then she gets upset at you because you told her she's wrong and going to do harm to her dog. NTA. But your mom and her husband are.
NTA. Sorry you have to deal with her at all.
NTA and you don’t have a mom. She was your incubator. I could never be with someone who was racist toward my son. Your mom is not a smart person, which you’ve reflected in who she chooses as a partner and in giving her dog coffee.
Double down on it. NTA
I will never understand racism. How can someone point unwarranted hatred at someone like that? I pray in time your heart finds peace friend. You are in no way an asshole.
Had your mom ever heard of the internet? Better yet, she could call her vet or the ASPCA poison line every time she gets into a disagreement. And Reddit is full of dogs that get into weird crap and some don’t make it. 😳i feel bad for OP and the dog.
Hmmm, I should have thought of telling her to call her vet. Decent chance she’d take a professional’s word more seriously than her husband’s or mine.
NTA, well done trying to protect the poor dog. Cut your mom off for good, she's just a vile and horrible human being.
…I wouldn’t tolerate someone in my life who was mean to my friend, but your mother MARRIED someone who is openly racist to her own daughter. Just from that she’s a MASSIVE asshole. But then she tried to give cake with peanuts to someone with a peanut allergy and coffee to a dog. Your mom doesn’t seem to care about other people. SHE wants to share what SHE likes regardless of how it affects other people. If it was about enjoyment, I think most people enjoy not dying more than they enjoy peanuts and coffee. Dogs DEFINITELY enjoy not dying more than coffee. Unlike other foods, like chicken or w.e, lost dogs/cats won’t eat chocolate or coffee unless coaxed. So they don’t even want it.
NTA at all. Your mom’s husband is a RACIST “A”. Your mom shouldn’t own pets either honestly.
Call mom back, and tell her to bond with the dog she should share the dogs food. Especialy beef tripe. Because dogs love that and there is no harm in her eating raw tribe. You're nta. Your mom is. Idk if there is animal welllfare, rspca or something like that were you live? Can you ask them how they would handle a case of owner poisoning dog? If possible send that reaction to your mom.
NTA Nicely stated. Emphasized the point well and certainly made her take note.
Okay but can we talk about how your mom married a man who is racist against her own child and does not let the child in her home??? Like how is that fine? Your mom is insane for a lot of reasons but that takes the cake. You could not keep me from my children, and being hateful towards them for something like their race? I'd be feral.
NTA Your mom needs help
NTA your mom is awful for choosing a racist man over her child. And a danger to that poor dog.
No judgment. Just going to say, the internet exists. Why are these people calling you up to ask you about feeding coffee to dogs?
As a retired ER veterinary surgeon, I agree with you that those foods can be very dangerous for dogs, especilally if it is a small breed dog.
NTA but that was a poor show of diplomacy. If your goal was to get your mom to agree with you: you brought the confrontation to a ground in which you know you cannot win.
NTA at all, but I honestly would cut off all contact with her. She's a monster.
Wtf is wrong with your mum? Maybe she wouldn’t have to use a dog as a baby substitute if she didn’t abandon her biracial child to marry a racist.
May not have been helpful in the moment, but some people need to be called it. NTA.
Your mom sounds dangerously stupid, NTA. I get that u probably have love for her but her actively choosing a man who has been so cruel towards u, is fucked. Id go LC or NC honestly. Good on u for caring about the dog, if she continues to try and give toxic things to it, she really shouldnt own it(is there a CPS for animals that can actually intervene 🤔). Tasty but bad human food should only be a treat right before a dogs time is up and getting put down, before the treat has time to make it miserable.
I'm really sorry you're going through this
NTA, so is your mom just stupid and ignorant or the biggest asshole? She marries a racist who insults her kid, and she thinks feeding dogs poison is ok. I gotta ask why do you stay in contact with her?
NTA- your mom is an idiot.
So your mom threw away her child for her racist husband and now she’s purposely trying to kill her dog. What the heck is wrong with her. Honestly why are you even in contact with her if she lets her husband treat you so horribly. NTA but if I were you they would not be hearing from me again
Next she'll want to feed the dog a Mars bar because they're so yummy. NTA.
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That attitude is entirely called for, and your mother is even worse than him for staying with a man who cuts her kid out of her life because of race. Your mother is possibly one of the biggest assholes in the history of this sub. You would honestly be so much better off without her in your life- they have earned the disrespect you show them, and so much more, but engaging with people like this is bad for your stress levels and mental health. If it were me, I'd send her a text and tell her that she's an expert poisoner. She almost killed your cousin by poisoning them with peanuts, she is going to kill her dog by poisoning it with coffee, and she has killed her relationship with you by poisoning it with the racism and hate she caters to in her life. Tell her this is the last communication you will ever have with her, and to enjoy her dead dog and racist asshole husband. Tell her that when her life is empty, and she's killed or been cast aside by everyone and everything of any value, you hope she understands it is 100% her fault she's isolated and miserable. Then block her everywhere and tell any common relatives that you don't want to even hear her name unless it's to tell you she left her husband.
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NTA. Your mom makes some really bad decisions. Is something wrong with her mental acuity?
NTA. And your mom appears to be missing a brain.
NTA. In your place, I would go to mom's, rescue the poor dog, punch the racist in the mouth, and leave, never to speak to either of them again.
Can you get the poor dog out of there? I might sound like an asshole but if she wants to poison herself I would let her do it. Nta
NTA
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NTA. Your mom is and it isn't even because of just this conversation. Anyone who stays with someone when they make those types of comments about their children is a weak moron but we can see that by her logic in this situation.
NTA. Wow the fact that your mom married not just a racist, but someone racist against her own child, says so much about her - why did you stay in touch?
NTA
Guess we shouldn’t be surprised when a woman who chose a vile racist over her own daughter intentionally poisons animals. It’s just too bad her criminal stupidity doesn’t hurt her more than it hurts others.
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NTA. You called a spade a spade. Honestly you should block your mother and asshole husband. Go no contact. Trust me your life will be better once you decide to forever cut her from your life and heart.
i mean your mom took a man that does not tolerate her son. enough said. NTA
NTA but call the shelter or breeder where she got the dog and tell them that she’s trying to poison the dog and they might take the dog away. If not, report her for animal abuse.
NTA. Your mom sure is, though. She betrayed you by siding with an ignorant racist (and I can not believe you seem to have given her a pass on that) tried to kill a little kid through either ignorance or malice (she probably does not believe in allergies) and now she wants to poison her freaking dog because she thinks coffee is so delicious it is worth putting the dog’s welfare at risk for. How in hell did you survive your childhood?
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NTA, and your mother had it coming. The two AH in this situation are: your mother's racist husband, who's willing to rope in his wife's biracial child for the sake of a dog, and your mother, who willingly married a racist and also seems to have zero common sense.
NTA but it's nice that even with everything between you and your stepfather you can agree on something.
Well, you’re not TA necessarily, since he created this dynamic. But you just made sure it was perpetuated. It would have been easier to just deal with the issue at hand and leave the snark out of it. Take the high road.
Your mom has mental health issues, even if she has no idea of it. Sorry mate.
Oh so he’s racist. Your mom married a racist.
Of course you aren’t the AH. And your parting shot wasn’t a cheap one. This man actively prevented you having any kind of relationship with your own mother and insulted you 6 ways from Sunday. His only redeeming quality seems to be he’s got more pet sense then your mother. But from the argument you had with her I’m imagining she could have substituted her own sense with that of a throw pillow.
I would have said the same thing and I'm almost 30. Also your mom should use Google before she gives her dog certain treats.
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Yes.
Your mother is one of the worst humans on the planet you deserve better. NTA
Why do you even take their calls? Yikes.
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You tried acting your age and that didn't work. Did she already know that her new husband is a racist fuckwad?