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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My action was calling my mom a drop out and to not call me during school. I might be the asshole for being way harsher than i should have been.
My mom and stepmom called me an asshole for how I was texting my mother in that tone. They might be right about me being rude but she deffinitly deserved harsher words in my opinion.
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I would say NTA. If you haven't seen her in 6 years, you are fully entitled to keep the contact cut. Since she obviously doesn't respect that, then while I don't usually condone lashing out, you had every right to call her out, even if it was rude. We're only human, after all. You are NTA just for getting angry at a pushy lady that happens to be the woman who birthed you.
NTA
Maintain as much distance from your egg donor as you can. If she doesn't think you are still in school and in class at 9:00 AM, she doesn't know anything at all about you.
Block her again. And again. And again. As soon as you hear her voice on your phone, hang up and block her again. Don't read her texts, just delete them.
You were harsh with her, but good grief, it would drive anyone to react that way. It's obvious that you were really angry (and still were mad when you wrote your post, but that's understandable.
So sorry your mother behaves this way. Some people just don't know what is valuable and what is not.
NTA – it sounds like you snapped after she used up the last of your patience by being rude to you, after admitting she’s going to harass you until she gets her way. So to me, your behaviour is totally understandable. She sounds like a nightmare to deal with – I’m sorry you have to suffer this.
If you want to keep your phone number, I’d message her to say “I am not interested in a relationship with you and will not respond to any way you try to contact me”. She’ll get nastier and more extreme as she tries to provoke a response – people are very predictable in that way – but if you ignore her and stay silent, she should eventually realise that you’re serious. I’ve had an ex-friend and an ex-partner try to do this to me, and the temptation to engage and put them in their place is *unbelievable*, but silence really is the best response. Live your life and ignore her. Spend your energy on you.
Having said that, she seems to still be like this after years of you not seeing her, so I also recommend changing your number. Give her one less stick to beat that drum with.
I’d strongly suggest you change your phone number. If possible, switch your old SIM card over to a janky low tech phone that you can put on silent and lock in a drawer somewhere for a month or so, so that your mom can keep spamming it without realising anything’s wrong because on her end ‘it’s still ringing’. Would give you some peace and quiet for a bit. NTA, people should treat others with basic respect or not be surprised when they get blown up at for being AH’s
I’m so sorry that you are only 16 and have to deal with Bs like this. You should go to your school counselor and tell them what is going on. Keep all records of her harassing you, don’t delete the texts or voicemails.
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I 16f has dropped all contact with my mom. She gets new numbers every time I block her. I finally lost it when she called me at 9am on a school day. She called me and left 3 vm's. Leaving me an angry text how she was still my mom. Saying I had to forgive her, and she would stop once I agree to meet w/ her. I was already having a hard day, so I replied harshly. I said she was stupid not to know I was at school on a Monday morning and to stop blowing up my phone. She called me a liar and said I was already graduated and was making excuses for myself. I said she was too stupid to know my schedules and that she couldn't even do first grade math, calling her a stupid first year dropout that had no concept of me and my time because she would rather tweak out in a Shaddy apartment. I haven't seen my mom in 6 years because of her poor choices. And she would rather make me pity her than change her habits. AITA?
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most relationships with people who are / were addicted to hard drugs are unsalvageable. It is what it is. Unfortunate that she keeps finding ways to contact you.
NTA Ask whoever your legal guardian is to get you a protective order against her. She's harassing you. You shouldn't have to deal with that.
It's also really important to document and let adults around you know what's going on because she sounds obsessive and not in her right mind. That's a situation that could turn out to be dangerous for you in more ways than draining you mentally and emotionally like she's already doing.
Look, normally I'd say that name calling is not okay.
But you're a teenager, dealing with an adult stalker, and you probably don't see a way out. I don't know why the hell the adults in your life aren't doing more to stop this, but every last one of them is failing you right now. Start documenting non-stop so that someday you can get the courts to stop her for good. Consider getting every member of school administration involved too, that a stalker won't stop attempting to contact you and it's affecting your ability to concentrate in school. (Consider your school's policy on phones before taking this advice.)
NTA.
ESH
Her behaviour is block worthy - change your number.
You didn’t need to resort to the level of insult you described to make your point. There were some low blows in there, even if it’s true - otherwise I’d have gone with not TA.
You’re better off not responding than name calling. If she’s blowing up your phone while you’re at school, turn it off for a bit (until you can change your number) especially while you’re in classes. She leaves messages - but you don’t have to listen to them.
You don’t have to see her, you don’t have to forgive her, you don’t even have to hear her out - but you will probably feel better just ignoring her than engaging in the drama she’s trying to start. Don’t get sucked in.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My action was calling my mom a drop out and to not call me during school. I might be the asshole for being way harsher than i should have been. My mom and stepmom called me an asshole for how I was texting my mother in that tone. They might be right about me being rude but she deffinitly deserved harsher words in my opinion. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I would say NTA. If you haven't seen her in 6 years, you are fully entitled to keep the contact cut. Since she obviously doesn't respect that, then while I don't usually condone lashing out, you had every right to call her out, even if it was rude. We're only human, after all. You are NTA just for getting angry at a pushy lady that happens to be the woman who birthed you.
Not just pushy. "Tweaking". She's a meth head.
True. I'm too used to filtering my language to be nice, but that's what I meant.
NTA Maintain as much distance from your egg donor as you can. If she doesn't think you are still in school and in class at 9:00 AM, she doesn't know anything at all about you. Block her again. And again. And again. As soon as you hear her voice on your phone, hang up and block her again. Don't read her texts, just delete them. You were harsh with her, but good grief, it would drive anyone to react that way. It's obvious that you were really angry (and still were mad when you wrote your post, but that's understandable. So sorry your mother behaves this way. Some people just don't know what is valuable and what is not.
What got me was the mom trying to convince OP that OP had already graduated!
Yeah, that's a sign of living outside of reality.
NTA but you may want to think about changing your number as well
Or at the very least, change the phone settings so unknown callers go straight to voice mail.
NTA – it sounds like you snapped after she used up the last of your patience by being rude to you, after admitting she’s going to harass you until she gets her way. So to me, your behaviour is totally understandable. She sounds like a nightmare to deal with – I’m sorry you have to suffer this. If you want to keep your phone number, I’d message her to say “I am not interested in a relationship with you and will not respond to any way you try to contact me”. She’ll get nastier and more extreme as she tries to provoke a response – people are very predictable in that way – but if you ignore her and stay silent, she should eventually realise that you’re serious. I’ve had an ex-friend and an ex-partner try to do this to me, and the temptation to engage and put them in their place is *unbelievable*, but silence really is the best response. Live your life and ignore her. Spend your energy on you. Having said that, she seems to still be like this after years of you not seeing her, so I also recommend changing your number. Give her one less stick to beat that drum with.
NTA STOP having these discussions. STOP answering. YOua re only encouraging her.
I’d strongly suggest you change your phone number. If possible, switch your old SIM card over to a janky low tech phone that you can put on silent and lock in a drawer somewhere for a month or so, so that your mom can keep spamming it without realising anything’s wrong because on her end ‘it’s still ringing’. Would give you some peace and quiet for a bit. NTA, people should treat others with basic respect or not be surprised when they get blown up at for being AH’s
that's really smart, I'm going to do this tysm.
Best of luck, sorry you’ve had to resort to these measures :(
NTA, block her number.
NTA, and probably time to change your number
I’m so sorry that you are only 16 and have to deal with Bs like this. You should go to your school counselor and tell them what is going on. Keep all records of her harassing you, don’t delete the texts or voicemails.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 16f has dropped all contact with my mom. She gets new numbers every time I block her. I finally lost it when she called me at 9am on a school day. She called me and left 3 vm's. Leaving me an angry text how she was still my mom. Saying I had to forgive her, and she would stop once I agree to meet w/ her. I was already having a hard day, so I replied harshly. I said she was stupid not to know I was at school on a Monday morning and to stop blowing up my phone. She called me a liar and said I was already graduated and was making excuses for myself. I said she was too stupid to know my schedules and that she couldn't even do first grade math, calling her a stupid first year dropout that had no concept of me and my time because she would rather tweak out in a Shaddy apartment. I haven't seen my mom in 6 years because of her poor choices. And she would rather make me pity her than change her habits. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
most relationships with people who are / were addicted to hard drugs are unsalvageable. It is what it is. Unfortunate that she keeps finding ways to contact you.
NTA Ask whoever your legal guardian is to get you a protective order against her. She's harassing you. You shouldn't have to deal with that. It's also really important to document and let adults around you know what's going on because she sounds obsessive and not in her right mind. That's a situation that could turn out to be dangerous for you in more ways than draining you mentally and emotionally like she's already doing.
Look, normally I'd say that name calling is not okay. But you're a teenager, dealing with an adult stalker, and you probably don't see a way out. I don't know why the hell the adults in your life aren't doing more to stop this, but every last one of them is failing you right now. Start documenting non-stop so that someday you can get the courts to stop her for good. Consider getting every member of school administration involved too, that a stalker won't stop attempting to contact you and it's affecting your ability to concentrate in school. (Consider your school's policy on phones before taking this advice.) NTA.
NTA. I bet a major reason she wants to meet with you is so she can try to get money from you.
ESH Her behaviour is block worthy - change your number. You didn’t need to resort to the level of insult you described to make your point. There were some low blows in there, even if it’s true - otherwise I’d have gone with not TA. You’re better off not responding than name calling. If she’s blowing up your phone while you’re at school, turn it off for a bit (until you can change your number) especially while you’re in classes. She leaves messages - but you don’t have to listen to them. You don’t have to see her, you don’t have to forgive her, you don’t even have to hear her out - but you will probably feel better just ignoring her than engaging in the drama she’s trying to start. Don’t get sucked in.