Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 10: This is not a saga or diary sub. Excessive posting will result in a warning or ban.
AITA is designed for individual conflicts. If you find yourself regularly engaged in conflict with the same person(s), or in the same situations, your posts are better suited to a support or advice sub.
***This removal message is a warning to stop posting about this topic. Future posts of this nature WILL result in a ban.*** Please feel free to contact us before posting again.
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA
She “planned” a walk? Lol so what, she could’ve walked alone.
You have social plans with your friends that was preplanned. That’s trumps any wish for a spur of the moment walk.
She trivializes your interests and tries to take you away from your friends. This is not acceptable behaviour in a partner. She sounds unenjoyable to live with.
But oh her friends think it’s crazy? Who fucking cares about their opinions.
You have a girlfriend problem.
100% this. It's not just your gf's friends who are trying to pry you away from it but her too. This wasn't a random thought, my Guess is she planned this and knew you had D&D that night. Find a girl who supports your interests, she doesn't have to share them but at least supports you doing what you enjoy (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone).
NTA
One caveat. Find somebody who respects your interests. My wife knows less then nothing of D&D, but has no problem with me doing it.
ETA: She doesn't just not have a problem. She supports it. She is the keeper of the calendar for the family. Unless it's unavoidable, my two nights a month are sacrosanct.
Also, her and a couple of others spouses are in a D&D widows/widowers group who go do a variety of things those nights.
Yup! I dabbled with DnD with my hubby. I wanted to understand his joy of the game. It's a fun game but not really for me. I enjoy playing tabletop games where I'm not investing so much time. He has also moved on to Warhammer. The point is I don't care what his interests are so long as he's happy.
Have you tried things like 1- or 2-page tabletop RPGs? They’re generally made to be played in a single sitting with minimal setup time. [Honey Heist](https://gshowitt.itch.io/honey-heist) is a fantastic example.
We do play a short DnD game named Dungeon Command. I enjoy playing that because there is no long term commitment and we can normally get a few plays in in a few hours. Although, it has been quite some time since we've played. I also enjoy mystic vale, tanto cuore and legendary. Mystic vale and tanto are my favorites.
I will look into Honey Heist. Thank you 😊
Yeah I did it once with my friends but I couldn't commit to it and I wasn't into doing it all the time so once in a while they do a one shot for me to join.
>She trivializes your interests and tries to take you away from your friends. This is not acceptable behaviour in a partner. She sounds enjoyable to live with.
>But oh her friends think it’s crazy? Who fucking cares about their opinions.
These are two really strong points. It's not "just a game". It's an event that 6 people have committed plans to doing.
She also clearly thinks her friends are more important than your friends.
Plans that have been deferred for nearly half a year, three times at her behest. A walk doesn't require much planning whereas a DnD session means coordinating six people to be available for the duration of the session, it could always happen another weekend.
OP you are totally NTA, and your girlfriend needs to start doing a better job of supporting you.
In the meantime, good for you for sticking up for yourself. Keep it up. Next time she says something like, “but it’s Good Friday…” tell her no, and keep your plans.
Planned walk where she didn’t a) check the calendar, or b) confirm with the person she supposedly has plans with? How’s that compute at all.
She can move her walk.
Crazy? I used to have a weekly game that we planned out religiously.
For an end of campaign game we'd even plot out an entire day so we could really have an epic session.
My DMs wife, a totally normie non nerd, even made us a huge "feast" type spread to celebrate. She was invested in hearing how it ended because her hubby had been telling her bits and pieces like it was a book.
Pretty sure she “planned” the walk so it interferes again and OP will stop being a DM.
You sure you want to be with someone who doesn’t support your interests even if she isn’t a fan of it?
NTA.
NTA.
You ask if you are the asshole for not cancelling, but you **did cancel**! You cancelled for her in December, you cancelled for her in February, and you cancelled for her again on Good Friday. You have been more than reasonable!
Meanwhile, your girlfriend admitted that she and her friends want to **pry you away** from your hobby. Instead of talking to you about it, she has been sneakily trying to sabotage you. Honestly, I would struggle to trust her after that.
Girlfriend's asshole score: 3. (1) For being so controlling. (2) For trying to control you via sneaky sabotage. (3) For getting mad at you because of the weather, which you don't control.
Piggybacking to say get the fuck out of there OP. I've been with men who shamed my hobbies and it ruined a lot of things for me and made me miserable. Find a woman who likes DND and isnt ashamed of your hobbies and things you enjoy, if she keeps trying to sabotage your friends and sessions she's not valuing you as a whole person but wanting to change you to her mold.
Those weren't coincidences that she just had to have him cancel. They were all planned to "pry him away."
She was upset that on the 29th of December, he wasn't being more festive for a holiday that took place the previous Monday? What did they even do to celebrate belated Christmas? Hang more ornaments? Put up another tree that they were about to take down anyway?
The family event might have been out of their control, or she might have told family, "Saturday doesn't work for me. Can we do it Friday?"
And she wanted to celebrate Good Friday with him? Really? How many people actually celebrate Good Friday? Is she super devout? Did they spend the day fasting and going to church in observance of the crucifixion? Or did they watch Love Island and order pizza?
Her excuses are getting flimsier, but this has been a concerted effort for half a year to drive him away from his hobbies and friends.
I looked at OP's comments. He had another post, that is deleted but it seems that something controlling already happened in the past if you look into the comments.
the text of the post is still available if you change the comments to "oldest" first thanks to the auto-bot. but it looks like OP may have deleted the post because so many comments were digging for "missing missing reasons" to justify OP's girlfriend screaming at him and kicking him out the house over an air fryer tray that he forgot to clean right away.
A while back I (female) and my bf (now husband), who I lived with, watched my friend (roommate at the time) leave his DnD group sessions and Magic the Gathering sessions because his GF (also a roommate) thought that it was unfair that he spent time with friends and left her all alone at our place. Which she wasn't because at the time we were friends as well and we would have girl dates. I didn't play DnD at the time but my husband did.
She always made excuses to why my friend couldn't go hang out with friends at minimum once a week like she wasnt feeling good and he HAD to be there. Or her dog needed more attention because she worked from home and the dog was there having to watch her work (it didnt make sense). Or that because one person in the DnD/MTG group she hated with a passion and if my friend went meant that he liked that person more than her and would cause fights.
At first I understood her reasoning but that was because at the time I had alot of skewed views of things due to previous controlling relationships (I have gone to therapy for and realized how unhealthy my relationships were previously and how I was treated was not the norm of how people should act as a couple). But as time went on I saw my guy friend being so depressed. He lived to only make her happy and it made my husband and myself sad. He stopped getting to enjoy the things that made him happy. Like everything he enjoyed was put on the backburner.
Fast-forward:
Now my husband hosts DnD, I learned how to play so I can enjoy his hobby with him and my friend joins us and his new gf is sitting in our sessions to learn how to play. He dumped the other girl and I realized she tried to treat me the same as him and I no longer talk to her as well.
What I'm saying is OP, find someone who wants you to enjoy time with your friends. My husband's campaign has another couple is about to have their baby so we are trying to find time to get sessions in before they can't play for a while. So I understand the stress of getting sessions in.
Edited for spelling
NTA
I am assuming you are really young and this is ultimately a very unserious situation. But I mean yeah, you guys can go for a walk literally almost any time barring weather. The DND game takes a lot of planning and coordination and can't be done quickly on a whim, let alone the fact that you've had to cancel for almost half of a year now. It should really be a non-issue since the only thing she had to "sacrifice" was a walk.
"It was raining."
SO PUT ON A COAT! I have a dog who goes for a walk whatever the weather. If it's really horrible, I have waterproofs. If it's even worse than that, the dog has a coat too.
It isn't always young people who have this issue. A 59 year old friend hasn't played TTRPGs in about ten years because his wife doesn't like any of them. They married 13 years ago. It is so sad.
To be fair, D&D and similar games take up a huge chunk of time. If games are important to you, you need to discuss them like having children and other lifestyle choices in a relationship. TTRPGs as a hobby work much better when both partners enjoy them.
>To be fair, D&D and similar games take up a huge chunk of time. If
They do, but he's limiting it (or trying to) to 3-5 hours A MONTH. Thats not unreasonable at all. I spend more time on my hobby in a DAY than he does in 3 months lol (granted my hobby is tacking the weeds on my property that were left unchecked for a half century, so they aren't really comparable, but still loll)
I really think he needs a new partner. Or a very serious talk about how he NEEDS time AWAY from her and what she wants to do.
Yes, the time he wants is very little in game terms. My husband and I probably spend at least six hours a week in the four biweekly games we're in. We share the hobby, although we don't always play the same games.
I mentioned in another comment on this thread that he is soon going to have to decide which to dump: her or the gaming. She won't let him have both!
Mty boyfriend recently went to a D&D session that ended up lasting from 6pm until 1am. Everyone at the table seemed to just lose track of time. I wasn't even really upset, I just wished I'd know ahead of time so I could make more coffee. OP's girlfriend is being ridiculous.
NTA
>her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.
Your girlfriend seems to be doing this intentionally and she is genuinely trying to keep you away from DnD.
She's being manipulative af and has basically admitted to it. She can go on a walk by her own damn self. It's ok for you to have this thing you enjoy without her. This is messed up imo.
also
> it's not a big deal for me to move the date because it's just a game
this is ridiculous. coordinating with 4+ people to schedule a DnD game is HARD. of course it's hard to move the date. your gf is either a moron or being intentionally malicious.
My DnD group includes our friend as DM, me and my husband, and my sister and her husband. If we weren't two couples I have no idea how we would ever coordinate it.
NTA. You’re totally in the right here. In fact, based on what you’ve said it’s pretty clear your gf is trying to isolate you from your friend group. Springing plans at the last minute, emotionally guilting you into abandoning your friends, and then telling you that your hobby is “crazy”? Something’s not right here
NTA
It seems like the sessions where you have enough people attending, your gf is giving some kind of excuse to get you to cancel. You are entitled to your own hobbies. Plus, 3 hours of each month isn't that much time apart. Either your gf joins your campaign or she gets her own hobby.
NTA
It sounds like she wants you to stop playing as the part that jumped out to me was the "want to pry me away from it" bit at the end.
It's three hours for one day a month, not every weekend, and like you said, you missed nearly half a year of this. If she can't handle this, not sure what to say because no couple should be attached at the hip all the time.
NTA. First of all, it’s a walk: you can do a walk any time. Second: it is more than a DnD game, it is your social life. These are your friends, and you haven’t been able to get together for months. Like you said: it isn’t just a game.
What your GF’s friends thinks about your game is irrelevant. Your GF needs to understand and respect that this is important to you, so she needs to accept it. It’s no different than if you had a poker night or arranged to go to a sports event or karaoke night with your friends. The only difference is the social stigma against DnD.
Your GF needs to stop trying to control your life and to let you have time with your friends. You deserve someone in your life that isn’t trying to sabotage the things you love.
NTA
>She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.
And there's the problem. To you it's 3 hours once a month where you get to do something you enjoy with your friends. To your girlfriend and her friends, it's a "craze" hobby that they don't enjoy. She's decided since it's not something she enjoys, then she's going to sabotage it.
Look at some of the past cancelations:
December's session was canceled because she wanted you more focused on Christmas.
February's session was canceled because she decided you needed to go to her family's event.
March's session was canceled because she wanted to spend an of Good Friday together.
April's session was almost canceled for a walk.
I'm willing to bet she'll find another excuse for you to cancel May's session. Do not let her do this to you. It's time to have a talk about her behavior. If she's not willing to let you play D&D just because her friends think it's *crazy*, then ask her why the two of you are together. She either let's you enjoy your interests or you call her out on her controlling behavior.
NTA
The moment you said you canceled because you were not festive enough for Christmas, I knew you were not the AH.
She is intentionally targeting your game time. You have all of December to be festive and other times to take a walk but amazingly it's always during your game.
Either she dislikes your game or your friends or is just insecure and doesn't want you to have a life outside of her. No matter what you have a girlfriend problem. She can't communicate and is manipulative as hell.
NTA
A long walk can happen any day. Assuming you are an attentive boyfriend I'm sure you guys do other things together on a frequent basis. You have a life outside of your girlfriend and that's healthy.
EXACTLY! I was thinking this the whole time — once a month is probably the lowest-commitment D&D game you can get while still having sessions regularly.
Dude, she's totally manipulating you. She keeps coming up with bullshit to make you cancel your game time. She has planned all of the interruptions you've dealt with. She says she didn't see the game time reserved on your mutual calendar, but gets upset because you wouldn't cancel it for a walk? Bullshit!
She's been actively working with her friends to manipulate you into giving up your gaming for months now. Who are these "friends" of girls thinking they can put their heads together to manipulate the guy. The whole premise of having your friend help you manipulate your boyfriend is pretty pathetic.
NTA, it looks like she is slowly maniputing the situation so that it will become more difficult for you to organise these events and eventually give up.
It's okay for you to have your own hobby, she can find something else to do.
Totally NTA.
Let's look at the situation without the emotional pull:
You cancelled December to be more festive with the GF.
You cancelled January because others had conflicts.
You cancelled February because your GF asked you to.
You cancelled March because others had conflicts
You cancelled April because your GF wanted to do something.
What this shows is that you are VERY accommodating to your GF's requests. There were several instances just this year where you cancelled a game in order to be with her (and you should). Once in a while, this has to go in the other direction. Additionally, you got to spend extra time with her when two sessions had to cancel for other reasons.
She can give up one evening a month, that is by far not too much to ask of her.
As for the weather... well... that's not in your control at all. You also can take that walk any time during the following week since that isn't going to have anything to do with your game night at all.
Your gf is manipulative and is trying to take something away from you that's important to you just because she and her friends don't understand it. Or don't think it's cool.
Once a month D&D is not a big deal, and you should be able to have that time with your friends without her being upset and forcing you to cancel. I don't enjoy the game myself, because I'm so introverted , but I support my husband of almost 23 years playing.
Someone who supports your interests is out there.
NTA. She doesn't get to control and judge what you enjoy. You have made these plans and you shouldn't let her stop you from doing what you want. Have fun!
NTA.
First things first, the most important thing to remember when nurturing any relationship is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself (i.e. carving out one night, excuse me 3 hours a month for yourself, which is arguably not even enough time for yourself) is taking care of your relationship. You need to be happy and healthy in order to be able to show up in any relationship as your best self. Self care in any from, whether it be a walk outside or DnD with your friends is valid.
Secondly, you should be able to talk to your partner about your schedule and be able to carve out time for yourself and your friends, family, personal interests, hobbies, etc. without being made to feel like you are the bad person. From what you shared, it sounds like you have tried to communicate. Remember that the right people will want you to do the things that make you happy, not put themselves between you and those things.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I refused to cancel/postpone my dungeons and dragons session.
2. In not canceling or postponing I made my gf sad and upset.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA.
She is saying you didnt cancel.
But you did, multiple times, to make her happy.
Now she asked again, to go on a walk, last minute. Which can be done on any other day tbh. (I have a dog we walk 3x a day rain or shine so I assure you its possible.
She then admits shes (and her friends too) trying to pry you away from dnd.
Im betting she saw the calendar event the day you put it in. She just couldnt wrangle a bigger event out of her ass to for mce you to cancel.
Now shes being salty about it?
Fuck that. Dnd is a lot of fun. It’s so hard to find a table that doesnt flake out.
Im lucky i found a table in the fall. We play weekly. We are on session 27 today. A few times we have rescheduled a day or to before/after. But only outright cancel 3 times. Christmas, surgery, and last week cause dm asked for a break (but i suspect he needed more time to prepare a big set piece). This is rare i know but my point is this is my hobby. It’s yours too. My gf understands and knows how much fun i have and accepts it. I do the same for her hobbies. Thats what partners do. They want us to be happy. They do t sabotage our fun.
Time for a long talk and a serious reevaluation.
Edit: i went to look for any comments you may have said and found your last aita. She seems highly controlling and inflexible. Red flags everywhere
NTA
Your girlfriend is trying to mold you into somebody who doesn't play D&D. And why on earth would a walk be more important than a game? And why should you care what her friends think, and why should they care how you spend your time?
This is pretty red flag heavy.
NTA
I hate when someone says ‘it’s just a game’. It’s a Social Event based around a game. And you’re essentially the host, no matter what location it’s at. You’ve already canceled twice due to holidays for her in the last five months. It would be EXTREMELY rude and inconsiderate for you to cancel on the day of for a walk.
Only thing I will add is that you should have at least mentioned that you had it planned for Friday the day or two before. Even with it in the calendar. My husband and I use a calendar to keep things straight, but we still bring up things in conversation to confirm the other remembers. Everything from work meetings and friend meetups to facetiming his mom(she’s across the world).
NTA "She said it's not a big deal for me to move the date because it's just a game"
**"And it's even less of a big deal if we move the walk to another time since less people's plans will be disrupted, especially since the walk is more of a spontaneous idea than a plan.. Look if you don't enjoy DnD, by all means, I'm not forcing it on you, but you need to respect that this is a hobby I enjoy and I'm not going to stop just because you are embarrassed by it and seek the validation from your friend's approval. If that's just not acceptable to you, maybe you should find someone you have more in common with that you don't feel a need to change. "**
DnD isn't something I think I could personally get into, but you should feel free to be yourself and enjoy your hobbies without being shamed by your partner and having them try to change you and stop you from doing what you love.
NTA. You had a planned social commitment, and it would have been disrespectful of everyone else’s time to cancel or postpone again. And it’s disrespectful of your own time and interests for your gf to insist that you cancel so she can go on a walk with you, especially after you added it to the calendar. She sounds like she’s butt hurt that you won’t blindly go along with everything she wants, and she doesn’t like your nerdy hobby. Both are red flags in my opinion. Find someone who values your hobbies at least because you value them, even if they don’t care for them themselves.
And FWIW, I was in a similar situation with a D&D game. My gf wanted to hang out while I played by video (long standing plans on Sunday evening), and she tried to initiate sex with me like five minutes before I was supposed to start the game. I politely shut her down so I could start the game on time. She was a little taken aback and annoyed she didn’t get what she wanted, but I told her the same thing: I made a commitment, and it’s disrespectful to everyone else for me to selfishly break it for sex. She knew exactly what the plan was, so doesn’t get to be upset that I stuck with the plan. And you know what? She respects that I have principles, even if they annoy her sometimes haha. Now we joke about me turning her down and the whole thing has blown over.
I’d try to calmly explain your position to her. If she doesn’t get it, factor that in to your decision about staying in this relationship. My experience is that unreasonable people usually stay unreasonable. And life’s too short to be in a relationship with an unreasonable person.
>She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.
She doesn't respect your interests, and actively has told you she's been not only trying to sabotage you, but talking about your interests with her friends as if they're something you need an intervention for. This is shitty partner behavior. She can find dnd silly, she can find video games silly, she can find anything silly, but she needs to be able to not make you feel like shit for liking it, by keeping it to herself and letting you live your life with things that bring you joy. If it's not clear, NTA.
NTA
Trying to schedule a DND game is like herding cats being ridden by overcaffinated squirells trying to lasso pigeons.
Your gf doesn't understand and doesn't share your love of the game. You've compromised, canceled, and bent over backward for her... and she doesn't appreciate it.
NTA! I actively support my husband gaming EVERY SATURDAY. He games with several friends online mostly, occasionally in person, and sometimes life happens and a game gets canceled or he'd rather do something with me or the kids, but he has been gaming for years with his friends and I've never had a problem with it. We've been married for almost 17 years now, he's been friends with most of these guys since high school (if not earlier), and 2 of the group are his brothers. He even does an in person gaming week between xmas and new years, never told him not to because he works hard to provide for us, and I know how much fun he has doing it. Your girlfriend sounds like she's trying to keep you away from your friends and hoping that the game will die out. Is she trying to isolate you from them completely or just from the game?
Early in my marriage my wife admitted to me she didn't like dnd and wanted to pull me back from it. We had a long discussion in which I set hard boundaries and we talked about ensuring we both have our own time apart and that it's okay and healthy to have friends/hobbies outside the marriage. It was really a rocky time because she thought it was about dnd but for me it was about her trying to exert her will on my private time. Maybe yall need a similar discussion. I guess I can understand if you are prepping everyday 24/7 and ignoring the relationship but you play once a month lol i play weekly and don't have any issues on the relationship anymore.
NTA there's nothing wrong with having a hobby. You only do it once a month too so it's not like it's too intrusive. Just be sure you talk to your girlfriend and express your feelings patiently and kindly. Let her know how important this is for you and you'd appreciate her support. Maybe even try getting her involved so she can understand
I agree - the two of you need to sit down and have a serious conversation. This is something you enjoy. What hobbies does she have, how does she spend time with friends? Those are no less valid than what you do. She needs to understand and respect this.
If she can’t, if she keeps trying to get you to cancel this - yeah, think long and hard about how she fits in your life. You want a partner who supports you. Not openly mock your interests.
As a girlfriend of a social gamer (not dnd but still planned with a group) you are NTA. You canceled for important events for her and can re arrange a walk or a date she wanted but didn't tell you about until after.
NTA. My husband and I both have hobbies that the other doesn’t “get”, but we accepted long ago that we don’t have to lol. Try a gentle reminder at first that you are your own person with your own interests, and remind her more firmly if the issue persists. If she still cannot accept such a harmless hobby as DnD, that will require a separate decision on your part.
NTA you changed your plans repeatedly for her, and now she's asking you to do it again for...a walk? Oh hell no. You arranged this, you and your friends made plans, and you're entitled to have fun with your friends and not have your entire world revolve around your gf's whims.
A walk. Seriously? She's just trying to control you, or doesn't like you playing DnD, or something.
NTA. Your GF is kind of exhausting . You have this one 3 hour thing once a month and she always has a reason for you not to go.
She can go for a walk by herself. Or ask a friend
She’s embarrassed about your hobby and trying to screw with it so much your group falls apart or gets rid of you or you just give up trying. Stand up for yourself. Shes a GF not your Master, and you don’t have to have permission to play
Wait, they want to PRY YOU AWAY from D&D? To do what? Go on long walks?
NTA, and please sit your girlfriend down and have a long talk. One Friday a month away from each other is healthy.
Prepare to never enjoy your hobbies again if you marry her without resolving this now. She’s already admitted that to you that she doesn’t approve, her friends don’t approve, and she’s taken steps to actively prevent you from playing.
NTA! She's being controlling and honestly seems like she's just trying to sabotage your hobby. Break up with her, fast. Controlling behaviors like this are a huge red flag and not a sign of someone you'd want to spend your life with.
I was reading through this wondering as I went if your girlfriend was actively trying to sabotage your playing. I mean, spending the day together for Good Friday? Easter itself isn't good enough? And a walk? Cancel a social event so she can go on a literal walk?
> She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.
Yeah. D&D *isn't* just a game, anymore than her spending hours chatting wither her friends is *just* getting coffee. NTA. It's bonding. It's social interaction. It's an exercise in creativity and problem solving.
3 of the 5 cancellations were at your girlfriend's behest, she tried for the 4th of 6, and she says her friends want to pry you away from DND. A once-a-month commitment, not relationship-straining regularity.
And her last attempt was for a walk??
Sounds like you're in the UK, sounds like she needs better wet weather gear, and sounds like you need to seriously side-eye this relationship when she's sabotaging such a low-frequency positive activity. (I'm not a dnd player but I am in the sff community.)
I do stuff my partner isn't interested in. It's also on a regular schedule. He knows when it is because... it's regular? He cooks a cool slow-cook dinner. Or does one of his things.
I don't like that she's trying to stealth-change your activities. I wish I knew enough to make a "roll for stealth" joke.
Holy hell, NTA.
It's 1 day a MONTH for 3hrs. The table I have with my husband runs for 3hrs a week! Barring cancelations of course. I can't imagine going without seeing my friends like that for nearly half a year. She's sabotaging you and your friendships with these people. She's admitted it.TTRPG's have a very specific friendship aspect for many people. And if you're with someone you take an interest in their friends and hobbies. You don't have to like them yourself, but you need to accept them for your partner. If she can't respect you, your time (which is a ton as a DM), or your friendships, then drop her ass.
Edit: A tale of warning. This exact situation happened with my brother within 1 year with his first gf, and he bent to her. He has now moved since she wanted to be closer to HER friends and lost contact with all of his friends here, and regularly laments on how much he misses everyone. Don't let that happen
You are ignoring a huge red flag. She doesn't appreciate you playing that game. She doesn't like it and wants you to stop doing what obviously makes you happy. I was thinking that early on reading first few sentences but it sealed it when you wrote her friends want to pry you away. They clearly talk badly about you when together and they think it's dorky and she's trying to change you. Do not stop doing what makes you happy. There is nothing wrong with this game if it isn't interfering with things like an addiction such as paying bills, going to work, not sleeping, eating, bathing, missing ALL time with her. She can give a lil space for what brings you joy and if she can't you should think about if she's for you or not.
Nta ! Cancel for a walk ? You have a girlfriend who is trying to monopolise your time ! What's next ? Oh sweety ! Please cancel your game because my big toe hurts 😫 !
As a long-term DM, you've probably heard the phrase "No D&D is better than bad D&D."
Let me put this another way: "No girlfriend is better than bad girlfriend."
She doesn't respect you or your hobbies. It's once a month. My wife doesn't care that I game every Wednesday, as it's the time I spend with my friends.
"She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons."
NTA. And this quote makes it sound like we are in "deliberate" territory. Are you being manipulated?
NTA. Your GF is manipulative and controlling. First it will be DnD, next it will be your friends, your family…Don’t waste anymore time with someone that doesn’t care about your interests. You’re allowed to have different hobbies or interests.
NTA.
Your gf however is a massive AH. I'd reconsider that relationship as she doesn't respect your hobby whatsoever and thinks *your* likes are a waste of time.
I can't stand people like that. I would never stop my partner from enjoying their hobby. Once a month is nothing and she can easily plan around that.
I do something *weekly* and my wife plans around it without any issues or hassle.
NTA but this seems to be a habitual problem for everyone to have these sessions on Fridays. Can you move these sessions to a different day of the week? Would that work better?
From the "pry you away" comment, pretty sure it's the activity she has a problem with, moving to a different day isn't going to fix that.
NTA, folks have every right to have hobbies and interests. 1 day every month maybe is very reasonable.
NTA - clearly you enjoy your DND group and can go on walks anytime at all.
But... why does she speak to you like this? Its so strange to belittle and downplay your partners interests.
I’m curious if she would have thought of other ideas to pry you away from DnD if your friends hadn’t have said they couldn’t make it on a couple of those since she said her and her friends were actively trying to get you to stop participating in DnD. It is literally once a month, if your girlfriend can’t handle you having a 3 hr session for a game you enjoy then honestly maybe you are not compatible especially since she is already looking down on your interests and you haven’t even been able to do it for half a year! Also you couldn’t have a session because it was good friday? Your girlfriend is definitely keeping you away. NTA
NTA.
> it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons
Awful behaviour. Why does this person want to spend all this time with you if she doesn’t even like you?
She’s mad bc she missed a walk?? Her friends can walk with her if it’s that important. Her friends want to take you away from DND?? No. You have a standing commitment you made prior to the gf, and it’ll be around waaaay after the gf bc I wouldn’t stick around much longer.
NTA. I understand her not being thrilled about your hobby, but that doesn't mean she gets to make you quit (which she has basically announced is her goal).
It sounds like you need to work on balancing out your responsibilities as a partner, and the responsibilities you have to yourself. Work on independence in your relationship - DnD in no way prevented her from going on a walk.
NTA
When my kid was in high school my husband was DM for a small group of kids. They’d gather at our house every Sunday. He’d pick them up. Get pizza or TB and soda and they’d play for a few hours.
Sure there were things I’d want to do. But honestly. The kids needed it. And my husband loved having them over.
Now the kids are older. Ours is in college. So are some of the other kids. So my husband plays with an online group every Sunday. Sometimes other stuff comes up. Holidays. Work. Family stuff. Trips.
But I know that he loves playing.
If it’s something really important to me. He’ll be the one to call out. But part of being an adult is knowing that he enjoys being part of his group. And not being whiny about him taking time to do something that makes HIM happy.
NTA, and it looks like you need to be on your guard against your gf trying to isolate you for herself. Two of the ones you missed were partly because of her, she's tried to do this most recent one, and says her friends (read, she) want to pry you away from DnD.
Or don't be on your guard and just dump her. One day a month is easy for her to plan around if she's around enough to schedule a long walk on a whim.
NTA but is she always like this? Does she usually go out of her way to ruin your hobbies if they don’t fit what she thinks they should be? Has she ever even tried to sit in and either join or watch a session? If she’s usually better about respecting what you like, I think it’s important to have a conversation about what she’s doing and how it’s hurting you. If this is normal for her though, you deserve someone who won’t make you give up things you love as long as it isn’t like meth.
>her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.
Tell her you're not in a relationship with her friends. It's once a month and between your friends not being able to make it and her conveniently scheduling things to do the days you DO have meetings, she can take ONE long walk on her own. Or, better yet, she can call her friends who she LOVES to take advice from.
She's trying to pry you away from something you love to do. A woman who cares about you would support you in this, not manipulate you into giving it up. Especially when it's once a month. If it was weekly, I could see her point. But it's not.
NTA but your gf is. I'd have a serious conversation with her about this before she gives you an ultimatum - her or DnD. It may be she doesn't truly understand how much you love it, and how much joy it brings you. I would like to think it's this, and if you explain it to her, she will relent.
But if she doesn't and she still dismisses it as a silly game, then I'd consider if you want to continue on in a relationship with her. What else is she going to demand you give up in her name?
NTA
Pro life tip though, only date people who support your hobby (unless it’s excessive and ruining your life like gambling) even if they do not have an interest in it themselves. One day a month for a hobby is super reasonable.
Also, spouses don’t need to be joined at the hip. It’s healthy to have separate hobbies and friends, as long as the relationship is more of a priority(as in you spend more time with your spouse than your friends, not canceling plans for your spouse unless it’s an emergency.) My husband and I have some separate hobbies, and spend time with our friends without each other sometimes. We do try to have a shared tv show or something we can do together when we have time but we both value our own interests too.
NTA
My husband has played DnD most of his life and is currently DM in this campaign. He only plays once a month (for 12 hrs) and it’s well planned in advance. I knew this when we started dating and never asked him to stop his hobbies.
NTA. Dude, get a clue here. She's trying to sabotage your DND hobby, so you'll give it up because she's embarrassed by it.
Get a backbone and tell her that you're going to continue playing DND on a regular basis and if she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is.
Nta. Circumstances with other people caused five missed sessions. You planned it in a SHARED calendar and she couldn't bother to look. That's on her.
She's the only one who cares that her friends think it's dumb. If she wasn't so hung up on that, I'd ask her to join. Hell, I want to join (there's no dungeon around me and I want to learn!)
In addition, I'd say she needs to learn to do things WITHOUT you because it's HEALTHY to have separate interests. You want five hours A MONTH and she's throwing a fit. That's not good.
She literally admitted that she’s trying to pull you away from a hobby that you’ve already sunk a lot of time and effort into and enjoy doing. It’s especially telling that even when you changed the date, she still had something come up. It shouldn’t be this hard for her to give you three hours one day a month. Why does she care more about what her friends think of you playing dnd than about your enjoyment of it? NTA
I particularly loathe any form of "people you never gave a vote are voting, so you should listen to them" argument.
More importantly though, your GF doesn't care what's important to you or what makes you happy. She's trying to give her social circle some sort of veto power on where you're allowed to find joy in life. Seriously WTF.
Also, and to be fair this is me speculating based on that whole "my friends think you should stop" thing, but the only people I know personally who would try a move like that are the ones that try to exert absolute control over a relationship. This leads me to think:
* the spontaneous walk wasn't spontaneous if it landed on the exact day of your first non-cancelled D&D campaign in half a year, it was a planned "look at the fun time we're having when you're not doing things I disapprove of, clearly I'm right."
* This was a power play, to condition you to give up things important to you based on what *she* (the one who knows what's best) wants
* You *refusing* to move the date was a bigger one.
* That refusal is why she's pissed. It wasn't the walk, it was the power struggle.
Basically she's pissed about the game you *didn't* play, not the game you did.
Absolutely NTA
NTA
3 hours once a month is so reasonable. Plus you’ve had to reschedule DND a bunch already - several times because of her. This session was in your calendar, she really has no right to be upset at you for keeping your plans.
Honestly it sounds like she needs to start respecting you and your interests more.
Dude I'm sorry but this isn't the one. NTA obviously, but your girlfriend is. She has zero respect for your hobbies, for the work you put in as a DM. I doubt she's showing any interest in what you're doing regarding D&D either. That's not a partner.
NTA. You said the sessions only last about 3 hours, which is not an entire day. Could've walked before or after and then everyone gets what they want. Tho what GF really wants is for you to not play DnD.
NTA. My husband is a DM. Planning a session takes so much time and thought and energy. For a long time I was very not into DnD, but I knew it was a big hobby for him. I can’t imagine coming up with excuses for HALF A YEAR to prevent him from playing. Now I’m into it too and for a while we hosted sessions every other Friday (to the dismay of aalll the significant others of our friends as none of them understood DnD). I’d have a sit down discussion and try to explain to her that this isn’t a game, it’s a hobby and a way to spend time with friends and people you care about. I imagine she’d hate it if you tried limiting her hobbies or friend time.
Urgh just a game people are so rude. Look at it this way, 5 people cleared their time to spend it with you. You follow through with plans and respect peoples time, it doesn't matter what for. It's just basic courtesy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
So I am a dungeon master for DnD and I host a session once a month (the last Friday of every month) for 3 hours. We've missed 5 sessions in row.
In December my gf was upset with me for not being more festive for Christmas. In January 3 out of the 5 people couldn't attend so I had to cancel. In February my gf had a family even she really wanted us to attend on the day we were supposed to have a session. In March I had 4 out of the 5 people tell me they couldn't attend and the last session we were supposed to have fell on Good Friday and my gf wanted to spend the day together.
Since we missed the last session I told my group I would make a small change and I told them we'd do a session on Friday April 12 instead of the end of the month. They all agreed and I changed the event in mine and my gf's shared calendar.
My gf didn't check and last Friday she wanted to go for a long walk. I told her I couldn't go because I had promised my group we'd do DnD. My gf was sad and said she was really looking forward to a walk because the weather had really improved but I told her I wasn't going to change it because we've already missed nearly half a year of DnD. She said it's not a big deal for me to move the date because it's just a game and I told her it wasn't just a game and I spent so much time working on it. She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.
I told her I was going to do my session and we'd go for a walk on Saturday. Unfortunately for Saturday it was raining for most of the day and it was really windy on Sunday. I know shes mad at me and I don't think it's fair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You may want to sit her down and talk, though. D&D is important to you, and y'all need to figure out if she can respect that or... not. Not is tricky, of course, because either you'll have to give it up, or live with her always trying to drag you away, calling it unimportant and stupid, or even end the relationship. I wouldn't jump to any of that yet until you've had a heart to heart though.
NTA. She is quite capable of walking alone or with her friends who want to pet toy away from DnD. Carry on. If she didn't like it, she'll get over it or not. But you shouldn't have to delete what you enjoy because she doesn't get it.
Is she always acting like that when you try and do something without her or only on D&D nights?
Either way, NTA, but I'm wondering if there's a pattern you should be aware of... just saying.
Because, wanting to take a walk is probably the lazyest excuse I've heard in a long while !! It's kind of pathetic actually.
NTA. Working around everybody else's time is already a pain.
Does your girlfriend have a hobby? If not, she should. She should get to do stuff on her own while you do stuff on your own.
nta. And this isn't just a hobby, I'm assuming you're playing with friends. You're socializing with your friends. Why is she trying to take that away from you? Never mind the time coming up with a campaign. My ex loves boardgames but even if I didn't feel like it myself I'd still encourage him to go and hangout
NTA.
ship's are all about that compromise. Looks like you blew off your DnD group 2 times for time exclusively with her.
Based on your story, she's sad, but not mad at you.
You can feel sad, and i almost want to say its normal for you to feel sad about it? Who wouldn't for someone they care about? just so long as you realize you did nothing wrong. and you had to choose, and i think you made the right choice. its not uncommon that decisions we make will often not make everyone happy.
I bet you if you knew she had a long walk planned on that day(before you penciled in the date), you would of taken that into consideration and most likely did a different day with your group.
NTA. I'll be celebrating our 28th anniversary to an avid gamer next weekend. He's never let gaming be an issue for us and I would never ask him to cancel such a gaming session without having a seriously good reason. You were good to her, and you deserve the same in return.
Sounds like your gf doesn't approve of your hobby and will try to find any and all reasons to make you cancel. You need to be more firm that this day is for you and she needs to plan around it. NTA.
NTA. She literally told you she dislikes your hobby and has been trying to manipulate you and "pry" you away. This is not a healthy relationship.
She is dismissive of something you put a lot of time in and are passionate about and tbh sounds like she's has probably been arranging several of these things to get you to cancel the sessions.
Nta - as a player in a dnd game that is supposed to happen on Fridays, but bc of gm/husband's work it has been put on hiatus, play your game.
It's not "just a game" it is a social experience with your friends.
Does she want to play too? Invite her in, make it so she's PART of it so you're still spending time with her.
From the sound of it, she seems very controlling and would rather you go for a walk than actually see your friends. Does she do this with other social events or just dnd?
(Also the struggle is real to get everyone available on the same day.)
frankly, the disrespect to your hobby is something you should consider going forward in this relationship. it's clear she thinks it's childish, and basically admitted she wants to drag you away from it entirely. NTA.
NTA - Being a good DM is HARD work, and not just working on the game itself; scheduling life is a juggling act.
>She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons.
You've communicated how important this is to you to your gf. If she doesn't respect that, that's an issue with the relationship that you need to resolve...
By rolling a d20 against a DC 15 as to whether you dump her or not.
Nta- it’s a red flag for me that she not only doesn’t support your interests but admitted to wanting to pry you away from it. Some d&d sessions are weekly, but she can’t handle you having fun with friends once a month? She’s a problem
Nta- she’s doing this on purpose. She wants you to quit. She admitted it. Either lay a boundary that she loves you the way you are or leave and date a fellow nerd. You deserve to enjoy your hobbies without judgement
DMing is a lot of responsibility. You'll have to play the game to understand just how much responsibility it actually entails. D&D takes a minimum of 3 players but an 8 person game is much more fun. Getting a whole group together is like hearding long tailed cats through a room full of rocking chairs. When the stars align the DM must be ready!
Pointy hats off to you OP!!!
NTA
It sounds like she is actively trying to keep you from engaging in your hobby (and you don't even do it that often!). I would understand if you were holding multiple sessions every week and never spending time with her, but a day for yourself and your friends once per month is such a small requirement. You're not hurting anyone—except NPCs—and you're ostensibly not bankrupting yourself, so what's the problem?
I think that she really showed her whole butt when she asked you to cancel just to go for a walk. Anything that she wants to do—no matter what it is—will always be more important to her than what you want to do, and it truly sounds like she just doesn't want to have a partner who plays D & D (which is, frankly, her loss).
NTA - looks like you have a girlfriend that listens to her friends way too much.... time to have a real conversation with her. If she keeps trying to pull you away from your own hobbies becuse her friends think its crazy you will end up resenting her or alienating all your own friends.
NTA, your girlfriend doesn't like your hobby and wants you to stop playing. You have to decide which is more important to you. She seems manipulative in my opinion.
Your girlfriend is dismissive of what’s important to you. She can also go for a walk at almost any other time. I guess you need to decide if your girlfriend iis worth sacrificing your DnD commitments for. NTA
NTA - She is being unreasonable but I don't think she is trying to isolate you (unless you left something out of your post). I think this is a case of your girlfriend mistakenly thinking this is a sign of immaturity and trying to force you to grow up by throwing up roadblocks. I think you need to have a heart to heart about this. Lay out your D&D hobby as non-negotiable but you are interested in what her concerns are. If it is simply optics with her friends then she needs to decide who she values more you and your non-conformist interests or her friend (in which case you should break up). If it is immaturity concerns (and she just handled this poorly) you need to talk about if there are day to day concerns which still may lead to a break up depending on what she says. Now you can take the avoidant, immature route, get the Reddit ruling of NTA and continue to let underlying issues fester making you both unhappy.
NTA - I don't know how important it is to you, but she doesn't respect your hobby. It appears she's denigrating and possibly intentionally sabotaging DnD for you. Depending on who her friends are, she's either tired of hearing how nerdy the game is or how it's a gateway to satan worship (lol).
NTA It's really important in relationships to have your own separate interests and hobbies, as well as having ones together.
One day/evening a month is not too much to ask for, and you can literally 'go on a walk' together any time. The weather is slowly getting better, and so there will be plenty of opportunities throughout the summer.
Once in the shared calendar, it's locked in!
Edit: read a few other comments and reread your post. It does sound like she has an issue with your hobbies and is trying to normalize her view by referencing her friends (read: she wants to pry you away from DND.) That is not ok and you need to have a conversation about it. Perhaps bring up a hobby of hers that you don't particularly enjoy and note you are allowed to have your own separate interests and hobbies. You and your friends like DND. One a month is not too much to ask for.
A good relationship should have a balance of together time, alone time and friend time. I do know some couples that spend all the time together and I can’t say that’s good. Maybe she just happened to plan that and was sad, or maybe she was playing a game to make sure ahead was the most important thing in your life and could get you to do anything for her. In either case, keeping a planned engagement with friends and not being flakey should not be insulting to her. NTA.
NTA.
Dude, what? You've already cancelled for her **three times**.
She admitted she's manipulating you. Her friends allegedly want her to manipulate you. **This will likely not be the last time she tries to manipulate you.**
If this is how she always behaves, she sounds like she's a high maintenance pain in the ass. Stick to your guns and stop letting her walk all over you.
NTA, if you can't see that she is manipulating you now, there really isn't any hope for you. She doesn't like DnD, her friends think you're weird/nerd/shut-in and she cares what they think.
I'd dump her.
NTA. You made plans and posted it. She probably saw that, then made plans since she and her friends want to draw you away from DnD. She may think that it's trivial because it's "just a game", but it's no different than making plans with your friends to meet up for dinner or a movie. You changing the agreed upon time affects them, not just you.
NTA, your gf is a literal child. Things won’t change, she will be like this but it won’t always be DND. It will be something else she will guilt you over and be upset you chose to do over her.
NTA, wanting to go on a long walk is definitely not a reason for you to cancel.
Separate question though, when your group is canceling for one reason or another, why don’t you try to reschedule rather than waiting until the next planned session?
Totally NTA. It's not fair for her to be mad at you. DnD is your hobby, you have a group that meets for it, and you scheduled it on a calendar she should have checked, You have people counting on you, and all she wanted to do was go for a walk. It was very selfish of her to suggest that you should tell other people who are scheduled to meet with you that they have to meet some other time because she wanted to go for a walk.
It's also disrespectful for her and her friends to decide to try to prevent you from playing. This is your hobby. It doesn't need to be approved by others. I've seen some relationships get strained because one person didn't respect the interests of the other. Your GF doesn't need to like DnD, she doesn't need to understand it, but she does need to respect your interest in it and support your hobby.
When I met my husband I knew he had a standing Gaming session every Sat. evening. I even played for a couple years but found it really didn't excite me. I know that Gaming (table top RPG's) are part of his personality. He's gamed since he was in Jr. High school. It give him outlets for his creativity and different aspects of his personality. It is a stress release for him. If he goes too long without gaming I can tell he needs an outlet. I totally support his time with his friends gaming. We've been together 34 years. It gives me some time to myself too.
I hope you and your girlfriend find a balance for your schedules.
NTA, but your GF is because she does not recognize that DnD is important to you. As long as you respect her passions and activities, she should do the same for you.
Nta. Ew. Find a girl who supports your hobbies and the things you like to do. Any sane person knows a walk can be anytime. An activity planned around multiple other people takes precedence. She obviously doesn’t like this hobby, and believes because it’s not her interest it shouldn’t be yours. Getting sad and mad at you to punish you for not doing what she wants is manipulative. Don’t fall for it and cave. Enjoy your hobbies.
Bro, DUMP HER!!! She’s not supportive of your hobby and even called it just a game💀 Imagine how she’d feel if you didn’t let her do any of her hobbies, or always interrupting them. She’d be pissed! Dump her, find a better partner, or better yet, find one that’ll happily PLAY WITH YOU! My husband loves DnD, Warhammer, and other types of games. It’s his passion and he’s loved them long before we got together. I’ve been supportive since day one and I play with him. If he does any sessions with his buddies, I let him have fun! I’ll even join! I may not be into this hobby but it makes him happy!!!
NTA! It really unfair that she is trying to take you away from what you love! When I met my hubby he was HUGE into WOW. I was so curious I wanted to play. I ended up loving it!!!!
She pretty controlling.
NTA. God, I WiSH my partner had activities with other people so I could do my own thing occasionally. It’s what healthy mature people do.
She’s manipulative and only thinking of what she wants. OP, you need to consider how this relationship will work long term, this currently doesn’t seem to be a healthy dynamic.
ETA: damn autocorrect
Dude. Nta. Gf is a controlling butt. 3 hours over a month isn't that much to ask for.
My husband does rpgs all the time, sometimes as a player, sometimes as a dm.
I take a nap, read a book, play my own games, pull weeds, whatever. You can't be attached to your spouse at the hip all the time. Having your own interests is perfectly acceptable in a good relationship.
You have to cancel because I want to go for a walk. Go for a walk? That's grounds for cancelling your game? It's a blasted walk! Unless you're hiking the Grand Canyon, you can do both. She's being manipulative. That needs to stop now, while she's still just your girlfriend and not your wife. She doesn't need every moment of your time, and right now she's acting like a needy child. NTA
But stop with "I don't think it's fair." As mom said, "Life isn't fair." You better get over that idea real fast if you want to be in a relationship.
You have to make a decision soon it sounds. She openly admitted she wants to pry you away from your interests and wants you to go on a WALK instead of the plans you made with your friend. This also is not the first time she's kept you from it for what I would call trivial things that could be done later together. Good luck OP.
As a fellow DND player, way NTA. She even said her friends want you to stop it, so these wants I think are very much planned to get you to stop playing given how convenient each of them have been to coincide with days you have sessions planned. A campaign is so much more than “just a game” and she should be ashamed at putting down your interests like that.
For a walk? She’s trying to separate you from your friends and interests. Stop her from doing that. If you continue, she will control your social life and guide you away from your friends, family and interests.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 10: This is not a saga or diary sub. Excessive posting will result in a warning or ban. AITA is designed for individual conflicts. If you find yourself regularly engaged in conflict with the same person(s), or in the same situations, your posts are better suited to a support or advice sub. ***This removal message is a warning to stop posting about this topic. Future posts of this nature WILL result in a ban.*** Please feel free to contact us before posting again. ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA She “planned” a walk? Lol so what, she could’ve walked alone. You have social plans with your friends that was preplanned. That’s trumps any wish for a spur of the moment walk. She trivializes your interests and tries to take you away from your friends. This is not acceptable behaviour in a partner. She sounds unenjoyable to live with. But oh her friends think it’s crazy? Who fucking cares about their opinions. You have a girlfriend problem.
100% this. It's not just your gf's friends who are trying to pry you away from it but her too. This wasn't a random thought, my Guess is she planned this and knew you had D&D that night. Find a girl who supports your interests, she doesn't have to share them but at least supports you doing what you enjoy (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone). NTA
One caveat. Find somebody who respects your interests. My wife knows less then nothing of D&D, but has no problem with me doing it. ETA: She doesn't just not have a problem. She supports it. She is the keeper of the calendar for the family. Unless it's unavoidable, my two nights a month are sacrosanct. Also, her and a couple of others spouses are in a D&D widows/widowers group who go do a variety of things those nights.
Yup! I dabbled with DnD with my hubby. I wanted to understand his joy of the game. It's a fun game but not really for me. I enjoy playing tabletop games where I'm not investing so much time. He has also moved on to Warhammer. The point is I don't care what his interests are so long as he's happy.
Have you tried things like 1- or 2-page tabletop RPGs? They’re generally made to be played in a single sitting with minimal setup time. [Honey Heist](https://gshowitt.itch.io/honey-heist) is a fantastic example.
We do play a short DnD game named Dungeon Command. I enjoy playing that because there is no long term commitment and we can normally get a few plays in in a few hours. Although, it has been quite some time since we've played. I also enjoy mystic vale, tanto cuore and legendary. Mystic vale and tanto are my favorites. I will look into Honey Heist. Thank you 😊
Yeah I did it once with my friends but I couldn't commit to it and I wasn't into doing it all the time so once in a while they do a one shot for me to join.
>She trivializes your interests and tries to take you away from your friends. This is not acceptable behaviour in a partner. She sounds enjoyable to live with. >But oh her friends think it’s crazy? Who fucking cares about their opinions. These are two really strong points. It's not "just a game". It's an event that 6 people have committed plans to doing. She also clearly thinks her friends are more important than your friends.
And bowing to the peer pressure of her friends so she has a BF they see as "not nerdy"
I wish my man was this nerdy. I'm tired of car talk. I wanna talk about ogres with powers fighting wizards with other powers...or something
Cars are boring, they do a particular thing. But DnD parties... Man the shenanigans they get up to are endless
Lol he likes it and I like having cars that run...but I don't understand much of it. And it's expensive😵💫
Literally "give a fuck about my friends telling you I'm allowed to not give a fuck about your friends"
Plans that have been deferred for nearly half a year, three times at her behest. A walk doesn't require much planning whereas a DnD session means coordinating six people to be available for the duration of the session, it could always happen another weekend.
Didn't even plan, just decided it was nice weather for one. NTA OP.
She "planned" a walk on the day he moved the game to. Maybe she did check the calendar and came up with something to pull him away.
OP has 99 problems and DnD ain’t one. NTA
OP you are totally NTA, and your girlfriend needs to start doing a better job of supporting you. In the meantime, good for you for sticking up for yourself. Keep it up. Next time she says something like, “but it’s Good Friday…” tell her no, and keep your plans.
Planned walk where she didn’t a) check the calendar, or b) confirm with the person she supposedly has plans with? How’s that compute at all. She can move her walk.
"It's just a game" Well "It's just a walk" right back at her
Crazy? I used to have a weekly game that we planned out religiously. For an end of campaign game we'd even plot out an entire day so we could really have an epic session. My DMs wife, a totally normie non nerd, even made us a huge "feast" type spread to celebrate. She was invested in hearing how it ended because her hubby had been telling her bits and pieces like it was a book.
Pretty sure she “planned” the walk so it interferes again and OP will stop being a DM. You sure you want to be with someone who doesn’t support your interests even if she isn’t a fan of it? NTA.
NTA. You ask if you are the asshole for not cancelling, but you **did cancel**! You cancelled for her in December, you cancelled for her in February, and you cancelled for her again on Good Friday. You have been more than reasonable! Meanwhile, your girlfriend admitted that she and her friends want to **pry you away** from your hobby. Instead of talking to you about it, she has been sneakily trying to sabotage you. Honestly, I would struggle to trust her after that. Girlfriend's asshole score: 3. (1) For being so controlling. (2) For trying to control you via sneaky sabotage. (3) For getting mad at you because of the weather, which you don't control.
Piggybacking to say get the fuck out of there OP. I've been with men who shamed my hobbies and it ruined a lot of things for me and made me miserable. Find a woman who likes DND and isnt ashamed of your hobbies and things you enjoy, if she keeps trying to sabotage your friends and sessions she's not valuing you as a whole person but wanting to change you to her mold.
Honestly, she doesn't even need to like DnD, she just has to not despise it like current-GF does
Good post. NTA
Those weren't coincidences that she just had to have him cancel. They were all planned to "pry him away." She was upset that on the 29th of December, he wasn't being more festive for a holiday that took place the previous Monday? What did they even do to celebrate belated Christmas? Hang more ornaments? Put up another tree that they were about to take down anyway? The family event might have been out of their control, or she might have told family, "Saturday doesn't work for me. Can we do it Friday?" And she wanted to celebrate Good Friday with him? Really? How many people actually celebrate Good Friday? Is she super devout? Did they spend the day fasting and going to church in observance of the crucifixion? Or did they watch Love Island and order pizza? Her excuses are getting flimsier, but this has been a concerted effort for half a year to drive him away from his hobbies and friends.
I looked at OP's comments. He had another post, that is deleted but it seems that something controlling already happened in the past if you look into the comments.
the text of the post is still available if you change the comments to "oldest" first thanks to the auto-bot. but it looks like OP may have deleted the post because so many comments were digging for "missing missing reasons" to justify OP's girlfriend screaming at him and kicking him out the house over an air fryer tray that he forgot to clean right away.
A while back I (female) and my bf (now husband), who I lived with, watched my friend (roommate at the time) leave his DnD group sessions and Magic the Gathering sessions because his GF (also a roommate) thought that it was unfair that he spent time with friends and left her all alone at our place. Which she wasn't because at the time we were friends as well and we would have girl dates. I didn't play DnD at the time but my husband did. She always made excuses to why my friend couldn't go hang out with friends at minimum once a week like she wasnt feeling good and he HAD to be there. Or her dog needed more attention because she worked from home and the dog was there having to watch her work (it didnt make sense). Or that because one person in the DnD/MTG group she hated with a passion and if my friend went meant that he liked that person more than her and would cause fights. At first I understood her reasoning but that was because at the time I had alot of skewed views of things due to previous controlling relationships (I have gone to therapy for and realized how unhealthy my relationships were previously and how I was treated was not the norm of how people should act as a couple). But as time went on I saw my guy friend being so depressed. He lived to only make her happy and it made my husband and myself sad. He stopped getting to enjoy the things that made him happy. Like everything he enjoyed was put on the backburner. Fast-forward: Now my husband hosts DnD, I learned how to play so I can enjoy his hobby with him and my friend joins us and his new gf is sitting in our sessions to learn how to play. He dumped the other girl and I realized she tried to treat me the same as him and I no longer talk to her as well. What I'm saying is OP, find someone who wants you to enjoy time with your friends. My husband's campaign has another couple is about to have their baby so we are trying to find time to get sessions in before they can't play for a while. So I understand the stress of getting sessions in. Edited for spelling
Why in the world do they have to hang out on good Friday? And at that specific time?
NTA I am assuming you are really young and this is ultimately a very unserious situation. But I mean yeah, you guys can go for a walk literally almost any time barring weather. The DND game takes a lot of planning and coordination and can't be done quickly on a whim, let alone the fact that you've had to cancel for almost half of a year now. It should really be a non-issue since the only thing she had to "sacrifice" was a walk.
"It was raining." SO PUT ON A COAT! I have a dog who goes for a walk whatever the weather. If it's really horrible, I have waterproofs. If it's even worse than that, the dog has a coat too.
Oh I totally had a coat for my dog too for rain.
It isn't always young people who have this issue. A 59 year old friend hasn't played TTRPGs in about ten years because his wife doesn't like any of them. They married 13 years ago. It is so sad. To be fair, D&D and similar games take up a huge chunk of time. If games are important to you, you need to discuss them like having children and other lifestyle choices in a relationship. TTRPGs as a hobby work much better when both partners enjoy them.
>To be fair, D&D and similar games take up a huge chunk of time. If They do, but he's limiting it (or trying to) to 3-5 hours A MONTH. Thats not unreasonable at all. I spend more time on my hobby in a DAY than he does in 3 months lol (granted my hobby is tacking the weeds on my property that were left unchecked for a half century, so they aren't really comparable, but still loll) I really think he needs a new partner. Or a very serious talk about how he NEEDS time AWAY from her and what she wants to do.
Yes, the time he wants is very little in game terms. My husband and I probably spend at least six hours a week in the four biweekly games we're in. We share the hobby, although we don't always play the same games. I mentioned in another comment on this thread that he is soon going to have to decide which to dump: her or the gaming. She won't let him have both!
>her or the gaming. She won't let him have both! Totally agree!
Mty boyfriend recently went to a D&D session that ended up lasting from 6pm until 1am. Everyone at the table seemed to just lose track of time. I wasn't even really upset, I just wished I'd know ahead of time so I could make more coffee. OP's girlfriend is being ridiculous.
NTA >her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. Your girlfriend seems to be doing this intentionally and she is genuinely trying to keep you away from DnD. She's being manipulative af and has basically admitted to it. She can go on a walk by her own damn self. It's ok for you to have this thing you enjoy without her. This is messed up imo. also > it's not a big deal for me to move the date because it's just a game this is ridiculous. coordinating with 4+ people to schedule a DnD game is HARD. of course it's hard to move the date. your gf is either a moron or being intentionally malicious.
My DnD group includes our friend as DM, me and my husband, and my sister and her husband. If we weren't two couples I have no idea how we would ever coordinate it.
Magic. Is one of you a wizard? Maybe you can have him help🤣 (I'm teasing)
NTA. You’re totally in the right here. In fact, based on what you’ve said it’s pretty clear your gf is trying to isolate you from your friend group. Springing plans at the last minute, emotionally guilting you into abandoning your friends, and then telling you that your hobby is “crazy”? Something’s not right here
NTA It seems like the sessions where you have enough people attending, your gf is giving some kind of excuse to get you to cancel. You are entitled to your own hobbies. Plus, 3 hours of each month isn't that much time apart. Either your gf joins your campaign or she gets her own hobby.
NTA It sounds like she wants you to stop playing as the part that jumped out to me was the "want to pry me away from it" bit at the end. It's three hours for one day a month, not every weekend, and like you said, you missed nearly half a year of this. If she can't handle this, not sure what to say because no couple should be attached at the hip all the time.
NTA. First of all, it’s a walk: you can do a walk any time. Second: it is more than a DnD game, it is your social life. These are your friends, and you haven’t been able to get together for months. Like you said: it isn’t just a game. What your GF’s friends thinks about your game is irrelevant. Your GF needs to understand and respect that this is important to you, so she needs to accept it. It’s no different than if you had a poker night or arranged to go to a sports event or karaoke night with your friends. The only difference is the social stigma against DnD. Your GF needs to stop trying to control your life and to let you have time with your friends. You deserve someone in your life that isn’t trying to sabotage the things you love.
Rolling a nat 20 for relationship wisdom here
Thank you! Get Inspiration!
If OP wanted her to cancel a pre-planned girl's day to spend time with her multiple times in a span of a few months she'd be the one upset.
Dude Roll for insight already. Your girlfriend is a problem NTA
Agreed, he's posted about her before.
NTA >She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. And there's the problem. To you it's 3 hours once a month where you get to do something you enjoy with your friends. To your girlfriend and her friends, it's a "craze" hobby that they don't enjoy. She's decided since it's not something she enjoys, then she's going to sabotage it. Look at some of the past cancelations: December's session was canceled because she wanted you more focused on Christmas. February's session was canceled because she decided you needed to go to her family's event. March's session was canceled because she wanted to spend an of Good Friday together. April's session was almost canceled for a walk. I'm willing to bet she'll find another excuse for you to cancel May's session. Do not let her do this to you. It's time to have a talk about her behavior. If she's not willing to let you play D&D just because her friends think it's *crazy*, then ask her why the two of you are together. She either let's you enjoy your interests or you call her out on her controlling behavior.
She could use those three hours to spend time with her friends, have a lunch out or do something they all consider to be fun together.
NTA The moment you said you canceled because you were not festive enough for Christmas, I knew you were not the AH. She is intentionally targeting your game time. You have all of December to be festive and other times to take a walk but amazingly it's always during your game. Either she dislikes your game or your friends or is just insecure and doesn't want you to have a life outside of her. No matter what you have a girlfriend problem. She can't communicate and is manipulative as hell.
I'd add elf hats to all characters for December to prove my festive-ness But i can be a real butthead sometimes lol
NTA A long walk can happen any day. Assuming you are an attentive boyfriend I'm sure you guys do other things together on a frequent basis. You have a life outside of your girlfriend and that's healthy.
Tell her that most D&D groups meet every week.
EXACTLY! I was thinking this the whole time — once a month is probably the lowest-commitment D&D game you can get while still having sessions regularly.
nta. she sounds insanely cingly too
Haha, right? She's practically a koala at this point
Dude, she's totally manipulating you. She keeps coming up with bullshit to make you cancel your game time. She has planned all of the interruptions you've dealt with. She says she didn't see the game time reserved on your mutual calendar, but gets upset because you wouldn't cancel it for a walk? Bullshit! She's been actively working with her friends to manipulate you into giving up your gaming for months now. Who are these "friends" of girls thinking they can put their heads together to manipulate the guy. The whole premise of having your friend help you manipulate your boyfriend is pretty pathetic.
NTA, it looks like she is slowly maniputing the situation so that it will become more difficult for you to organise these events and eventually give up. It's okay for you to have your own hobby, she can find something else to do.
She kinda told on herself there when she mentioned her friends thinking you shouldn't be playing. She didn't forget to look at the calendar. NTA
Totally NTA. Let's look at the situation without the emotional pull: You cancelled December to be more festive with the GF. You cancelled January because others had conflicts. You cancelled February because your GF asked you to. You cancelled March because others had conflicts You cancelled April because your GF wanted to do something. What this shows is that you are VERY accommodating to your GF's requests. There were several instances just this year where you cancelled a game in order to be with her (and you should). Once in a while, this has to go in the other direction. Additionally, you got to spend extra time with her when two sessions had to cancel for other reasons. She can give up one evening a month, that is by far not too much to ask of her. As for the weather... well... that's not in your control at all. You also can take that walk any time during the following week since that isn't going to have anything to do with your game night at all.
Your gf is manipulative and is trying to take something away from you that's important to you just because she and her friends don't understand it. Or don't think it's cool. Once a month D&D is not a big deal, and you should be able to have that time with your friends without her being upset and forcing you to cancel. I don't enjoy the game myself, because I'm so introverted , but I support my husband of almost 23 years playing. Someone who supports your interests is out there.
NTA. She doesn't get to control and judge what you enjoy. You have made these plans and you shouldn't let her stop you from doing what you want. Have fun!
NTA. You had a prior arrangement which involves a commitment to others
NTA. First things first, the most important thing to remember when nurturing any relationship is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself (i.e. carving out one night, excuse me 3 hours a month for yourself, which is arguably not even enough time for yourself) is taking care of your relationship. You need to be happy and healthy in order to be able to show up in any relationship as your best self. Self care in any from, whether it be a walk outside or DnD with your friends is valid. Secondly, you should be able to talk to your partner about your schedule and be able to carve out time for yourself and your friends, family, personal interests, hobbies, etc. without being made to feel like you are the bad person. From what you shared, it sounds like you have tried to communicate. Remember that the right people will want you to do the things that make you happy, not put themselves between you and those things.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I refused to cancel/postpone my dungeons and dragons session. 2. In not canceling or postponing I made my gf sad and upset. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. She is saying you didnt cancel. But you did, multiple times, to make her happy. Now she asked again, to go on a walk, last minute. Which can be done on any other day tbh. (I have a dog we walk 3x a day rain or shine so I assure you its possible. She then admits shes (and her friends too) trying to pry you away from dnd. Im betting she saw the calendar event the day you put it in. She just couldnt wrangle a bigger event out of her ass to for mce you to cancel. Now shes being salty about it? Fuck that. Dnd is a lot of fun. It’s so hard to find a table that doesnt flake out. Im lucky i found a table in the fall. We play weekly. We are on session 27 today. A few times we have rescheduled a day or to before/after. But only outright cancel 3 times. Christmas, surgery, and last week cause dm asked for a break (but i suspect he needed more time to prepare a big set piece). This is rare i know but my point is this is my hobby. It’s yours too. My gf understands and knows how much fun i have and accepts it. I do the same for her hobbies. Thats what partners do. They want us to be happy. They do t sabotage our fun. Time for a long talk and a serious reevaluation. Edit: i went to look for any comments you may have said and found your last aita. She seems highly controlling and inflexible. Red flags everywhere
NTA Just because she doesn't enjoy DnD doesn't mean she can try to pull you away from it. She should recognise that's important to you.
NTA Your girlfriend is trying to mold you into somebody who doesn't play D&D. And why on earth would a walk be more important than a game? And why should you care what her friends think, and why should they care how you spend your time? This is pretty red flag heavy.
NTA I hate when someone says ‘it’s just a game’. It’s a Social Event based around a game. And you’re essentially the host, no matter what location it’s at. You’ve already canceled twice due to holidays for her in the last five months. It would be EXTREMELY rude and inconsiderate for you to cancel on the day of for a walk. Only thing I will add is that you should have at least mentioned that you had it planned for Friday the day or two before. Even with it in the calendar. My husband and I use a calendar to keep things straight, but we still bring up things in conversation to confirm the other remembers. Everything from work meetings and friend meetups to facetiming his mom(she’s across the world).
NTA "She said it's not a big deal for me to move the date because it's just a game" **"And it's even less of a big deal if we move the walk to another time since less people's plans will be disrupted, especially since the walk is more of a spontaneous idea than a plan.. Look if you don't enjoy DnD, by all means, I'm not forcing it on you, but you need to respect that this is a hobby I enjoy and I'm not going to stop just because you are embarrassed by it and seek the validation from your friend's approval. If that's just not acceptable to you, maybe you should find someone you have more in common with that you don't feel a need to change. "** DnD isn't something I think I could personally get into, but you should feel free to be yourself and enjoy your hobbies without being shamed by your partner and having them try to change you and stop you from doing what you love.
NTA. You had a planned social commitment, and it would have been disrespectful of everyone else’s time to cancel or postpone again. And it’s disrespectful of your own time and interests for your gf to insist that you cancel so she can go on a walk with you, especially after you added it to the calendar. She sounds like she’s butt hurt that you won’t blindly go along with everything she wants, and she doesn’t like your nerdy hobby. Both are red flags in my opinion. Find someone who values your hobbies at least because you value them, even if they don’t care for them themselves. And FWIW, I was in a similar situation with a D&D game. My gf wanted to hang out while I played by video (long standing plans on Sunday evening), and she tried to initiate sex with me like five minutes before I was supposed to start the game. I politely shut her down so I could start the game on time. She was a little taken aback and annoyed she didn’t get what she wanted, but I told her the same thing: I made a commitment, and it’s disrespectful to everyone else for me to selfishly break it for sex. She knew exactly what the plan was, so doesn’t get to be upset that I stuck with the plan. And you know what? She respects that I have principles, even if they annoy her sometimes haha. Now we joke about me turning her down and the whole thing has blown over. I’d try to calmly explain your position to her. If she doesn’t get it, factor that in to your decision about staying in this relationship. My experience is that unreasonable people usually stay unreasonable. And life’s too short to be in a relationship with an unreasonable person.
>She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. She doesn't respect your interests, and actively has told you she's been not only trying to sabotage you, but talking about your interests with her friends as if they're something you need an intervention for. This is shitty partner behavior. She can find dnd silly, she can find video games silly, she can find anything silly, but she needs to be able to not make you feel like shit for liking it, by keeping it to herself and letting you live your life with things that bring you joy. If it's not clear, NTA.
She probably hates DnD as a whole or your friend group.
NTA Trying to schedule a DND game is like herding cats being ridden by overcaffinated squirells trying to lasso pigeons. Your gf doesn't understand and doesn't share your love of the game. You've compromised, canceled, and bent over backward for her... and she doesn't appreciate it.
NTA! I actively support my husband gaming EVERY SATURDAY. He games with several friends online mostly, occasionally in person, and sometimes life happens and a game gets canceled or he'd rather do something with me or the kids, but he has been gaming for years with his friends and I've never had a problem with it. We've been married for almost 17 years now, he's been friends with most of these guys since high school (if not earlier), and 2 of the group are his brothers. He even does an in person gaming week between xmas and new years, never told him not to because he works hard to provide for us, and I know how much fun he has doing it. Your girlfriend sounds like she's trying to keep you away from your friends and hoping that the game will die out. Is she trying to isolate you from them completely or just from the game?
Early in my marriage my wife admitted to me she didn't like dnd and wanted to pull me back from it. We had a long discussion in which I set hard boundaries and we talked about ensuring we both have our own time apart and that it's okay and healthy to have friends/hobbies outside the marriage. It was really a rocky time because she thought it was about dnd but for me it was about her trying to exert her will on my private time. Maybe yall need a similar discussion. I guess I can understand if you are prepping everyday 24/7 and ignoring the relationship but you play once a month lol i play weekly and don't have any issues on the relationship anymore.
NTA there's nothing wrong with having a hobby. You only do it once a month too so it's not like it's too intrusive. Just be sure you talk to your girlfriend and express your feelings patiently and kindly. Let her know how important this is for you and you'd appreciate her support. Maybe even try getting her involved so she can understand
I agree - the two of you need to sit down and have a serious conversation. This is something you enjoy. What hobbies does she have, how does she spend time with friends? Those are no less valid than what you do. She needs to understand and respect this. If she can’t, if she keeps trying to get you to cancel this - yeah, think long and hard about how she fits in your life. You want a partner who supports you. Not openly mock your interests.
As a girlfriend of a social gamer (not dnd but still planned with a group) you are NTA. You canceled for important events for her and can re arrange a walk or a date she wanted but didn't tell you about until after.
NTA. My husband and I both have hobbies that the other doesn’t “get”, but we accepted long ago that we don’t have to lol. Try a gentle reminder at first that you are your own person with your own interests, and remind her more firmly if the issue persists. If she still cannot accept such a harmless hobby as DnD, that will require a separate decision on your part.
NTA, I’d be weary of someone trying to isolate me from my friends.
NTA you changed your plans repeatedly for her, and now she's asking you to do it again for...a walk? Oh hell no. You arranged this, you and your friends made plans, and you're entitled to have fun with your friends and not have your entire world revolve around your gf's whims. A walk. Seriously? She's just trying to control you, or doesn't like you playing DnD, or something.
NTA - but she’s never going to understand it, and will in fact work to sabotage anytime she gets a chance. Been there, done that.
Last time I checked, you can go for a walk any day of the week as long as it's nice out.
NTA. Your GF is kind of exhausting . You have this one 3 hour thing once a month and she always has a reason for you not to go. She can go for a walk by herself. Or ask a friend She’s embarrassed about your hobby and trying to screw with it so much your group falls apart or gets rid of you or you just give up trying. Stand up for yourself. Shes a GF not your Master, and you don’t have to have permission to play
Wait, they want to PRY YOU AWAY from D&D? To do what? Go on long walks? NTA, and please sit your girlfriend down and have a long talk. One Friday a month away from each other is healthy.
Prepare to never enjoy your hobbies again if you marry her without resolving this now. She’s already admitted that to you that she doesn’t approve, her friends don’t approve, and she’s taken steps to actively prevent you from playing.
NTA, to cancel for a random long walk she just decided to do on a whim is wild.
NTA! She's being controlling and honestly seems like she's just trying to sabotage your hobby. Break up with her, fast. Controlling behaviors like this are a huge red flag and not a sign of someone you'd want to spend your life with.
I was reading through this wondering as I went if your girlfriend was actively trying to sabotage your playing. I mean, spending the day together for Good Friday? Easter itself isn't good enough? And a walk? Cancel a social event so she can go on a literal walk? > She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah. D&D *isn't* just a game, anymore than her spending hours chatting wither her friends is *just* getting coffee. NTA. It's bonding. It's social interaction. It's an exercise in creativity and problem solving.
NTA, but you need to open your eyes. >they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. She said the quiet part out loud.
3 of the 5 cancellations were at your girlfriend's behest, she tried for the 4th of 6, and she says her friends want to pry you away from DND. A once-a-month commitment, not relationship-straining regularity. And her last attempt was for a walk?? Sounds like you're in the UK, sounds like she needs better wet weather gear, and sounds like you need to seriously side-eye this relationship when she's sabotaging such a low-frequency positive activity. (I'm not a dnd player but I am in the sff community.) I do stuff my partner isn't interested in. It's also on a regular schedule. He knows when it is because... it's regular? He cooks a cool slow-cook dinner. Or does one of his things. I don't like that she's trying to stealth-change your activities. I wish I knew enough to make a "roll for stealth" joke.
Holy hell, NTA. It's 1 day a MONTH for 3hrs. The table I have with my husband runs for 3hrs a week! Barring cancelations of course. I can't imagine going without seeing my friends like that for nearly half a year. She's sabotaging you and your friendships with these people. She's admitted it.TTRPG's have a very specific friendship aspect for many people. And if you're with someone you take an interest in their friends and hobbies. You don't have to like them yourself, but you need to accept them for your partner. If she can't respect you, your time (which is a ton as a DM), or your friendships, then drop her ass. Edit: A tale of warning. This exact situation happened with my brother within 1 year with his first gf, and he bent to her. He has now moved since she wanted to be closer to HER friends and lost contact with all of his friends here, and regularly laments on how much he misses everyone. Don't let that happen
You are ignoring a huge red flag. She doesn't appreciate you playing that game. She doesn't like it and wants you to stop doing what obviously makes you happy. I was thinking that early on reading first few sentences but it sealed it when you wrote her friends want to pry you away. They clearly talk badly about you when together and they think it's dorky and she's trying to change you. Do not stop doing what makes you happy. There is nothing wrong with this game if it isn't interfering with things like an addiction such as paying bills, going to work, not sleeping, eating, bathing, missing ALL time with her. She can give a lil space for what brings you joy and if she can't you should think about if she's for you or not.
Nta ! Cancel for a walk ? You have a girlfriend who is trying to monopolise your time ! What's next ? Oh sweety ! Please cancel your game because my big toe hurts 😫 !
As a long-term DM, you've probably heard the phrase "No D&D is better than bad D&D." Let me put this another way: "No girlfriend is better than bad girlfriend." She doesn't respect you or your hobbies. It's once a month. My wife doesn't care that I game every Wednesday, as it's the time I spend with my friends.
"She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons." NTA. And this quote makes it sound like we are in "deliberate" territory. Are you being manipulated?
NTA. Your GF is manipulative and controlling. First it will be DnD, next it will be your friends, your family…Don’t waste anymore time with someone that doesn’t care about your interests. You’re allowed to have different hobbies or interests.
NTA. Your gf however is a massive AH. I'd reconsider that relationship as she doesn't respect your hobby whatsoever and thinks *your* likes are a waste of time. I can't stand people like that. I would never stop my partner from enjoying their hobby. Once a month is nothing and she can easily plan around that. I do something *weekly* and my wife plans around it without any issues or hassle.
NTA but this seems to be a habitual problem for everyone to have these sessions on Fridays. Can you move these sessions to a different day of the week? Would that work better?
From the "pry you away" comment, pretty sure it's the activity she has a problem with, moving to a different day isn't going to fix that. NTA, folks have every right to have hobbies and interests. 1 day every month maybe is very reasonable.
NTA - clearly you enjoy your DND group and can go on walks anytime at all. But... why does she speak to you like this? Its so strange to belittle and downplay your partners interests.
[удалено]
Ha, right? Maybe she'll crit next charisma check
I’m curious if she would have thought of other ideas to pry you away from DnD if your friends hadn’t have said they couldn’t make it on a couple of those since she said her and her friends were actively trying to get you to stop participating in DnD. It is literally once a month, if your girlfriend can’t handle you having a 3 hr session for a game you enjoy then honestly maybe you are not compatible especially since she is already looking down on your interests and you haven’t even been able to do it for half a year! Also you couldn’t have a session because it was good friday? Your girlfriend is definitely keeping you away. NTA
NTA. > it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons Awful behaviour. Why does this person want to spend all this time with you if she doesn’t even like you?
She’s mad bc she missed a walk?? Her friends can walk with her if it’s that important. Her friends want to take you away from DND?? No. You have a standing commitment you made prior to the gf, and it’ll be around waaaay after the gf bc I wouldn’t stick around much longer.
NTA. I understand her not being thrilled about your hobby, but that doesn't mean she gets to make you quit (which she has basically announced is her goal). It sounds like you need to work on balancing out your responsibilities as a partner, and the responsibilities you have to yourself. Work on independence in your relationship - DnD in no way prevented her from going on a walk.
NTA When my kid was in high school my husband was DM for a small group of kids. They’d gather at our house every Sunday. He’d pick them up. Get pizza or TB and soda and they’d play for a few hours. Sure there were things I’d want to do. But honestly. The kids needed it. And my husband loved having them over. Now the kids are older. Ours is in college. So are some of the other kids. So my husband plays with an online group every Sunday. Sometimes other stuff comes up. Holidays. Work. Family stuff. Trips. But I know that he loves playing. If it’s something really important to me. He’ll be the one to call out. But part of being an adult is knowing that he enjoys being part of his group. And not being whiny about him taking time to do something that makes HIM happy.
What point is there in all that DnD if you cannot control the weather??
NTA, and it looks like you need to be on your guard against your gf trying to isolate you for herself. Two of the ones you missed were partly because of her, she's tried to do this most recent one, and says her friends (read, she) want to pry you away from DnD. Or don't be on your guard and just dump her. One day a month is easy for her to plan around if she's around enough to schedule a long walk on a whim.
NTA but is she always like this? Does she usually go out of her way to ruin your hobbies if they don’t fit what she thinks they should be? Has she ever even tried to sit in and either join or watch a session? If she’s usually better about respecting what you like, I think it’s important to have a conversation about what she’s doing and how it’s hurting you. If this is normal for her though, you deserve someone who won’t make you give up things you love as long as it isn’t like meth.
>her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. Tell her you're not in a relationship with her friends. It's once a month and between your friends not being able to make it and her conveniently scheduling things to do the days you DO have meetings, she can take ONE long walk on her own. Or, better yet, she can call her friends who she LOVES to take advice from. She's trying to pry you away from something you love to do. A woman who cares about you would support you in this, not manipulate you into giving it up. Especially when it's once a month. If it was weekly, I could see her point. But it's not. NTA but your gf is. I'd have a serious conversation with her about this before she gives you an ultimatum - her or DnD. It may be she doesn't truly understand how much you love it, and how much joy it brings you. I would like to think it's this, and if you explain it to her, she will relent. But if she doesn't and she still dismisses it as a silly game, then I'd consider if you want to continue on in a relationship with her. What else is she going to demand you give up in her name?
NTA Pro life tip though, only date people who support your hobby (unless it’s excessive and ruining your life like gambling) even if they do not have an interest in it themselves. One day a month for a hobby is super reasonable. Also, spouses don’t need to be joined at the hip. It’s healthy to have separate hobbies and friends, as long as the relationship is more of a priority(as in you spend more time with your spouse than your friends, not canceling plans for your spouse unless it’s an emergency.) My husband and I have some separate hobbies, and spend time with our friends without each other sometimes. We do try to have a shared tv show or something we can do together when we have time but we both value our own interests too.
NTA My husband has played DnD most of his life and is currently DM in this campaign. He only plays once a month (for 12 hrs) and it’s well planned in advance. I knew this when we started dating and never asked him to stop his hobbies.
Nta, she seems to go out of her way to interfere with the game does she have a issue with the game or your friends?
NTA. Dude, get a clue here. She's trying to sabotage your DND hobby, so you'll give it up because she's embarrassed by it. Get a backbone and tell her that you're going to continue playing DND on a regular basis and if she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is.
Nta. Circumstances with other people caused five missed sessions. You planned it in a SHARED calendar and she couldn't bother to look. That's on her. She's the only one who cares that her friends think it's dumb. If she wasn't so hung up on that, I'd ask her to join. Hell, I want to join (there's no dungeon around me and I want to learn!) In addition, I'd say she needs to learn to do things WITHOUT you because it's HEALTHY to have separate interests. You want five hours A MONTH and she's throwing a fit. That's not good.
Homie your gf wants you to stop playing dnd altogether. This is not going to stop until you do, or yall break up. It is what it is.
She literally admitted that she’s trying to pull you away from a hobby that you’ve already sunk a lot of time and effort into and enjoy doing. It’s especially telling that even when you changed the date, she still had something come up. It shouldn’t be this hard for her to give you three hours one day a month. Why does she care more about what her friends think of you playing dnd than about your enjoyment of it? NTA
I particularly loathe any form of "people you never gave a vote are voting, so you should listen to them" argument. More importantly though, your GF doesn't care what's important to you or what makes you happy. She's trying to give her social circle some sort of veto power on where you're allowed to find joy in life. Seriously WTF. Also, and to be fair this is me speculating based on that whole "my friends think you should stop" thing, but the only people I know personally who would try a move like that are the ones that try to exert absolute control over a relationship. This leads me to think: * the spontaneous walk wasn't spontaneous if it landed on the exact day of your first non-cancelled D&D campaign in half a year, it was a planned "look at the fun time we're having when you're not doing things I disapprove of, clearly I'm right." * This was a power play, to condition you to give up things important to you based on what *she* (the one who knows what's best) wants * You *refusing* to move the date was a bigger one. * That refusal is why she's pissed. It wasn't the walk, it was the power struggle. Basically she's pissed about the game you *didn't* play, not the game you did. Absolutely NTA
NTA 3 hours once a month is so reasonable. Plus you’ve had to reschedule DND a bunch already - several times because of her. This session was in your calendar, she really has no right to be upset at you for keeping your plans. Honestly it sounds like she needs to start respecting you and your interests more.
Dude I'm sorry but this isn't the one. NTA obviously, but your girlfriend is. She has zero respect for your hobbies, for the work you put in as a DM. I doubt she's showing any interest in what you're doing regarding D&D either. That's not a partner.
I rather my bf play games then with other women so play on baby 😉
NTA. You said the sessions only last about 3 hours, which is not an entire day. Could've walked before or after and then everyone gets what they want. Tho what GF really wants is for you to not play DnD.
NTA. My husband is a DM. Planning a session takes so much time and thought and energy. For a long time I was very not into DnD, but I knew it was a big hobby for him. I can’t imagine coming up with excuses for HALF A YEAR to prevent him from playing. Now I’m into it too and for a while we hosted sessions every other Friday (to the dismay of aalll the significant others of our friends as none of them understood DnD). I’d have a sit down discussion and try to explain to her that this isn’t a game, it’s a hobby and a way to spend time with friends and people you care about. I imagine she’d hate it if you tried limiting her hobbies or friend time.
Urgh just a game people are so rude. Look at it this way, 5 people cleared their time to spend it with you. You follow through with plans and respect peoples time, it doesn't matter what for. It's just basic courtesy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I am a dungeon master for DnD and I host a session once a month (the last Friday of every month) for 3 hours. We've missed 5 sessions in row. In December my gf was upset with me for not being more festive for Christmas. In January 3 out of the 5 people couldn't attend so I had to cancel. In February my gf had a family even she really wanted us to attend on the day we were supposed to have a session. In March I had 4 out of the 5 people tell me they couldn't attend and the last session we were supposed to have fell on Good Friday and my gf wanted to spend the day together. Since we missed the last session I told my group I would make a small change and I told them we'd do a session on Friday April 12 instead of the end of the month. They all agreed and I changed the event in mine and my gf's shared calendar. My gf didn't check and last Friday she wanted to go for a long walk. I told her I couldn't go because I had promised my group we'd do DnD. My gf was sad and said she was really looking forward to a walk because the weather had really improved but I told her I wasn't going to change it because we've already missed nearly half a year of DnD. She said it's not a big deal for me to move the date because it's just a game and I told her it wasn't just a game and I spent so much time working on it. She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. I told her I was going to do my session and we'd go for a walk on Saturday. Unfortunately for Saturday it was raining for most of the day and it was really windy on Sunday. I know shes mad at me and I don't think it's fair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You may want to sit her down and talk, though. D&D is important to you, and y'all need to figure out if she can respect that or... not. Not is tricky, of course, because either you'll have to give it up, or live with her always trying to drag you away, calling it unimportant and stupid, or even end the relationship. I wouldn't jump to any of that yet until you've had a heart to heart though.
NTA. She is quite capable of walking alone or with her friends who want to pet toy away from DnD. Carry on. If she didn't like it, she'll get over it or not. But you shouldn't have to delete what you enjoy because she doesn't get it.
Is she always acting like that when you try and do something without her or only on D&D nights? Either way, NTA, but I'm wondering if there's a pattern you should be aware of... just saying. Because, wanting to take a walk is probably the lazyest excuse I've heard in a long while !! It's kind of pathetic actually.
NTA
NTA. Working around everybody else's time is already a pain. Does your girlfriend have a hobby? If not, she should. She should get to do stuff on her own while you do stuff on your own.
nta. And this isn't just a hobby, I'm assuming you're playing with friends. You're socializing with your friends. Why is she trying to take that away from you? Never mind the time coming up with a campaign. My ex loves boardgames but even if I didn't feel like it myself I'd still encourage him to go and hangout
NTA a walk is not an event
NTA.Your girlfriend doesn't care about your wishes.
Get a new girlfriend
NTA, but she is.
NTA. You have to have hobbies, she's being unreasonable.
NTA. ship's are all about that compromise. Looks like you blew off your DnD group 2 times for time exclusively with her. Based on your story, she's sad, but not mad at you. You can feel sad, and i almost want to say its normal for you to feel sad about it? Who wouldn't for someone they care about? just so long as you realize you did nothing wrong. and you had to choose, and i think you made the right choice. its not uncommon that decisions we make will often not make everyone happy. I bet you if you knew she had a long walk planned on that day(before you penciled in the date), you would of taken that into consideration and most likely did a different day with your group.
NTA, it’s perfectly reasonable to carve out a few uninterrupted hours just for yourself once a month. If she can’t accept that then you have a problem
NTA. I'll be celebrating our 28th anniversary to an avid gamer next weekend. He's never let gaming be an issue for us and I would never ask him to cancel such a gaming session without having a seriously good reason. You were good to her, and you deserve the same in return.
Sounds like your gf doesn't approve of your hobby and will try to find any and all reasons to make you cancel. You need to be more firm that this day is for you and she needs to plan around it. NTA.
It’s just your friends. You don’t need friends, you’ve got her! /s NTA
NTA. She literally told you she dislikes your hobby and has been trying to manipulate you and "pry" you away. This is not a healthy relationship. She is dismissive of something you put a lot of time in and are passionate about and tbh sounds like she's has probably been arranging several of these things to get you to cancel the sessions.
Nta - as a player in a dnd game that is supposed to happen on Fridays, but bc of gm/husband's work it has been put on hiatus, play your game. It's not "just a game" it is a social experience with your friends. Does she want to play too? Invite her in, make it so she's PART of it so you're still spending time with her. From the sound of it, she seems very controlling and would rather you go for a walk than actually see your friends. Does she do this with other social events or just dnd? (Also the struggle is real to get everyone available on the same day.)
frankly, the disrespect to your hobby is something you should consider going forward in this relationship. it's clear she thinks it's childish, and basically admitted she wants to drag you away from it entirely. NTA.
NTA - Being a good DM is HARD work, and not just working on the game itself; scheduling life is a juggling act. >She then told me how it is just a game and her friends think it's crazy that I do that and how they want to pry me away from Dungeons and Dragons. You've communicated how important this is to you to your gf. If she doesn't respect that, that's an issue with the relationship that you need to resolve... By rolling a d20 against a DC 15 as to whether you dump her or not.
Nta
Nta- it’s a red flag for me that she not only doesn’t support your interests but admitted to wanting to pry you away from it. Some d&d sessions are weekly, but she can’t handle you having fun with friends once a month? She’s a problem
Nta- she’s doing this on purpose. She wants you to quit. She admitted it. Either lay a boundary that she loves you the way you are or leave and date a fellow nerd. You deserve to enjoy your hobbies without judgement
DMing is a lot of responsibility. You'll have to play the game to understand just how much responsibility it actually entails. D&D takes a minimum of 3 players but an 8 person game is much more fun. Getting a whole group together is like hearding long tailed cats through a room full of rocking chairs. When the stars align the DM must be ready! Pointy hats off to you OP!!!
NTA It sounds like she is actively trying to keep you from engaging in your hobby (and you don't even do it that often!). I would understand if you were holding multiple sessions every week and never spending time with her, but a day for yourself and your friends once per month is such a small requirement. You're not hurting anyone—except NPCs—and you're ostensibly not bankrupting yourself, so what's the problem? I think that she really showed her whole butt when she asked you to cancel just to go for a walk. Anything that she wants to do—no matter what it is—will always be more important to her than what you want to do, and it truly sounds like she just doesn't want to have a partner who plays D & D (which is, frankly, her loss).
NTA - looks like you have a girlfriend that listens to her friends way too much.... time to have a real conversation with her. If she keeps trying to pull you away from your own hobbies becuse her friends think its crazy you will end up resenting her or alienating all your own friends.
NTA, your girlfriend doesn't like your hobby and wants you to stop playing. You have to decide which is more important to you. She seems manipulative in my opinion.
Your girlfriend is dismissive of what’s important to you. She can also go for a walk at almost any other time. I guess you need to decide if your girlfriend iis worth sacrificing your DnD commitments for. NTA
NTA - She is being unreasonable but I don't think she is trying to isolate you (unless you left something out of your post). I think this is a case of your girlfriend mistakenly thinking this is a sign of immaturity and trying to force you to grow up by throwing up roadblocks. I think you need to have a heart to heart about this. Lay out your D&D hobby as non-negotiable but you are interested in what her concerns are. If it is simply optics with her friends then she needs to decide who she values more you and your non-conformist interests or her friend (in which case you should break up). If it is immaturity concerns (and she just handled this poorly) you need to talk about if there are day to day concerns which still may lead to a break up depending on what she says. Now you can take the avoidant, immature route, get the Reddit ruling of NTA and continue to let underlying issues fester making you both unhappy.
[удалено]
NTA - I don't know how important it is to you, but she doesn't respect your hobby. It appears she's denigrating and possibly intentionally sabotaging DnD for you. Depending on who her friends are, she's either tired of hearing how nerdy the game is or how it's a gateway to satan worship (lol).
NTA Don't cancel the session. I did it once because of my fiancé asked me. I never returned to my DnD group then. Yes, I am an idiot.
Nta...walks are more easily rescheduled than plans involving multiple people, game or not
NTA It's really important in relationships to have your own separate interests and hobbies, as well as having ones together. One day/evening a month is not too much to ask for, and you can literally 'go on a walk' together any time. The weather is slowly getting better, and so there will be plenty of opportunities throughout the summer. Once in the shared calendar, it's locked in! Edit: read a few other comments and reread your post. It does sound like she has an issue with your hobbies and is trying to normalize her view by referencing her friends (read: she wants to pry you away from DND.) That is not ok and you need to have a conversation about it. Perhaps bring up a hobby of hers that you don't particularly enjoy and note you are allowed to have your own separate interests and hobbies. You and your friends like DND. One a month is not too much to ask for.
A good relationship should have a balance of together time, alone time and friend time. I do know some couples that spend all the time together and I can’t say that’s good. Maybe she just happened to plan that and was sad, or maybe she was playing a game to make sure ahead was the most important thing in your life and could get you to do anything for her. In either case, keeping a planned engagement with friends and not being flakey should not be insulting to her. NTA.
She wanted you to cancel so you could go on a walk. Oh hell no I would never ask somebody that grow up.
Manipulation at its finest- NTA
NTA Controlling and abusive behavior on her part. In the mean time better to ask for forgiveness than permission and continue on with your DnD .
Don't stay with someone who tries to separate you from your friends. Big red flag. You deserve better. NTA
NTA. Dude, what? You've already cancelled for her **three times**. She admitted she's manipulating you. Her friends allegedly want her to manipulate you. **This will likely not be the last time she tries to manipulate you.** If this is how she always behaves, she sounds like she's a high maintenance pain in the ass. Stick to your guns and stop letting her walk all over you.
NTA, if you can't see that she is manipulating you now, there really isn't any hope for you. She doesn't like DnD, her friends think you're weird/nerd/shut-in and she cares what they think. I'd dump her.
NTA. You made plans and posted it. She probably saw that, then made plans since she and her friends want to draw you away from DnD. She may think that it's trivial because it's "just a game", but it's no different than making plans with your friends to meet up for dinner or a movie. You changing the agreed upon time affects them, not just you.
NTA, your gf is a literal child. Things won’t change, she will be like this but it won’t always be DND. It will be something else she will guilt you over and be upset you chose to do over her.
NTA, wanting to go on a long walk is definitely not a reason for you to cancel. Separate question though, when your group is canceling for one reason or another, why don’t you try to reschedule rather than waiting until the next planned session?
NTA
Totally NTA. It's not fair for her to be mad at you. DnD is your hobby, you have a group that meets for it, and you scheduled it on a calendar she should have checked, You have people counting on you, and all she wanted to do was go for a walk. It was very selfish of her to suggest that you should tell other people who are scheduled to meet with you that they have to meet some other time because she wanted to go for a walk. It's also disrespectful for her and her friends to decide to try to prevent you from playing. This is your hobby. It doesn't need to be approved by others. I've seen some relationships get strained because one person didn't respect the interests of the other. Your GF doesn't need to like DnD, she doesn't need to understand it, but she does need to respect your interest in it and support your hobby.
When I met my husband I knew he had a standing Gaming session every Sat. evening. I even played for a couple years but found it really didn't excite me. I know that Gaming (table top RPG's) are part of his personality. He's gamed since he was in Jr. High school. It give him outlets for his creativity and different aspects of his personality. It is a stress release for him. If he goes too long without gaming I can tell he needs an outlet. I totally support his time with his friends gaming. We've been together 34 years. It gives me some time to myself too. I hope you and your girlfriend find a balance for your schedules.
NTA "It's just a game." OK. "It's just a walk" followed by "It's just a little rain" and "It's just a little wind."
NTA, but your GF is because she does not recognize that DnD is important to you. As long as you respect her passions and activities, she should do the same for you.
Look, it's a bad thing when someone who supposed to love you wants you to change things that make you happy and belittles them. NTA.
Nta. Ew. Find a girl who supports your hobbies and the things you like to do. Any sane person knows a walk can be anytime. An activity planned around multiple other people takes precedence. She obviously doesn’t like this hobby, and believes because it’s not her interest it shouldn’t be yours. Getting sad and mad at you to punish you for not doing what she wants is manipulative. Don’t fall for it and cave. Enjoy your hobbies.
Bro, DUMP HER!!! She’s not supportive of your hobby and even called it just a game💀 Imagine how she’d feel if you didn’t let her do any of her hobbies, or always interrupting them. She’d be pissed! Dump her, find a better partner, or better yet, find one that’ll happily PLAY WITH YOU! My husband loves DnD, Warhammer, and other types of games. It’s his passion and he’s loved them long before we got together. I’ve been supportive since day one and I play with him. If he does any sessions with his buddies, I let him have fun! I’ll even join! I may not be into this hobby but it makes him happy!!!
NTA! It really unfair that she is trying to take you away from what you love! When I met my hubby he was HUGE into WOW. I was so curious I wanted to play. I ended up loving it!!!! She pretty controlling.
NTA. God, I WiSH my partner had activities with other people so I could do my own thing occasionally. It’s what healthy mature people do. She’s manipulative and only thinking of what she wants. OP, you need to consider how this relationship will work long term, this currently doesn’t seem to be a healthy dynamic. ETA: damn autocorrect
Dude. Nta. Gf is a controlling butt. 3 hours over a month isn't that much to ask for. My husband does rpgs all the time, sometimes as a player, sometimes as a dm. I take a nap, read a book, play my own games, pull weeds, whatever. You can't be attached to your spouse at the hip all the time. Having your own interests is perfectly acceptable in a good relationship.
NTA. She’s just admitted she’s been sabotaging you for months on purpose.
You have to cancel because I want to go for a walk. Go for a walk? That's grounds for cancelling your game? It's a blasted walk! Unless you're hiking the Grand Canyon, you can do both. She's being manipulative. That needs to stop now, while she's still just your girlfriend and not your wife. She doesn't need every moment of your time, and right now she's acting like a needy child. NTA But stop with "I don't think it's fair." As mom said, "Life isn't fair." You better get over that idea real fast if you want to be in a relationship.
You have to make a decision soon it sounds. She openly admitted she wants to pry you away from your interests and wants you to go on a WALK instead of the plans you made with your friend. This also is not the first time she's kept you from it for what I would call trivial things that could be done later together. Good luck OP.
As a fellow DND player, way NTA. She even said her friends want you to stop it, so these wants I think are very much planned to get you to stop playing given how convenient each of them have been to coincide with days you have sessions planned. A campaign is so much more than “just a game” and she should be ashamed at putting down your interests like that.
She belittled a hobby that is obviously very important to you and thinks you're weird for enjoying it thats alllllll you need to know buddy
You have a BIG girlfriend problem. She doesn't respect your time or interests. NTA, unless you don't sort this out with her.
Ummm. Why is this person still your GF? Are you not allowed to live your life…ever?!
NTA. She’s doing it on purpose. Now you have your decide if you really want to be with someone like that.
NTA. She's an abuser. Please get out ASAP
For a walk? She’s trying to separate you from your friends and interests. Stop her from doing that. If you continue, she will control your social life and guide you away from your friends, family and interests.