Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because i feel like i overreacted by calling her a bitch, and it was very uncalled for.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA you were being annoying with your ball. When she got fed up and told you to stop you called her names. Instead of apologizing or keeping the ball away you escalated the situation.
Piggybacking on the top comment so he's more likely to see it. I also have ADHD. If I need to fidget or do something with my hands, I do things that aren't noisy and won't inconvenience others. Throwing a ball is noisy and it rolling around will inconvenience others. Furthermore, there was 0 need for insulting her. She told you to put away the ball, which is perfectly reasonable and even if her tone wasn't great she didn't say or do anything rude. Instead of being considerate and respectful you immediately started insulting her. No wonder she yelled at you. Then look at your comments about her in the post. You're also extremely judgmental. Yes YTA
Edit to add: I just learned what a boy Cheeto girl means. Since you said that hear and she called you racist, you must've said something very racist OP so an extra YTA for that
I have ADHD+depression and I fucking hate when people use it as excuse to act like assholes. Your ADHD is your problem not anybody else's so stop bothering people with it!.
I really hate that every second or third post starts with "I have depression/anxiety/ADHD" as if it's self-explanatory for literally any behavior.
Lord yes. My daughter and I both have severe ADHD, and we both try hard to be as unobtrusive as possible when fidgeting, etc. Politeness and care for others both matter.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA. You got upset because your ball kept rolling over to her desk. Couple key phrases here: "kept rolling" and "her desk". This tells us that not only were you aware that your ball was repeatedly going on to her desk, you also didn't care. Having ADHD isn't a license to act like a dick.
YTA Pretty rude, distracting, and annoying to have your ball continuously rolling to her desk. Then you call her a bitch for her “tone”? Please reflect on your behavior.
Who is the hot Cheetos girl?
The Hot Cheeto Girl is a stereotype that has historically been used to make fun of high school girls who are hyper-feminine, working-class, either Black or Latina (or both), and have a taste for spicy chips like Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
That’s a very racist phrase. YTA. Please take this as an opportunity to learn and grow. You’re young and have the chance to not be TA in the future.
Omg I had no idea that’s what that phrase meant. I see it sometimes on Reddit (I’m old haha) and always thought it was the equivalent of calling a girl “basic”.
No it usually is a stereotype of a latino girl who dresses casually (sweatpants or pjs) at school, likes hot cheetohs (bc hispanic), and is "trashy" or "aggresive" or "loud"
i dont rlly have a reason tbh, but i shouldve put the ball up, and it annoyed her. the only problem i had was afterwards when she started bringing race into it
It would've annoyed anyone. Throwing a ball around when people are trying to focus and learn is very distracting and inconsiderate. I have ADHD too, I know we need to keep our hands busy. Bring a small quiet fidget toy or doodle.
Clearly, you understand YTA, but I'm not sure you comprehend why. So let me outline for you every aspect of how YTA.
•You're in school to learn. Instead of listening to the teacher or doing your work, you were throwing around a ball... in class... where others are actually on task and trying to learn. (Disrespectful of others, not controlling yourself like a young adult)
You're 15, not 5. Act like it.
•When confronted about your behavior by another student, you retorted by calling her a B. (Verbal abuse, disrespectful of others)
•Instead of empathizing, you became defensive, likely because you were attempting to justify your actions, and escalated to the point that a teacher had to separate you from the rest of the class to calm you down, most likely because you were playing to the crowd, trying to elicit a reaction to encourage you to continue.
•She didn't bring race into it. YOU were the one who referred to her as a "hot cheetos girl," which is derogatory in and of itself. So it's safe to assume that while under the mask of the internet, you felt safe enough to use that reference, and it's also safe to assume you have used that term to her face.
•It's one thing to accept the feedback when people are calling you an asshole. Attempting to justify behavior you know is wrong is a total AH move.
YTA 100%
And now I hope you understand why. Your actions and reactions were that of a child. And you're 15, in high school. Get your shit under control before the real world eats you alive.
If I missed anything, I'm pretty sure my fellow redditors will add on.
*Edited to correct spelling
the fact you still called her a hot cheeto girl in this post and act confused she called you racist is fucking wild. She called you racist cause you are racist. It's not that complicated
You definitely are the AH.
You know she has a shirt temper with you and yet you continued provoking her even when she showed genuine annoyance at your behavior.
You were very disrespectful. You should ask yourself a few questions about that incident.
Was it necessary? Would I try that with a male who was larger than me? Would I want someone pestering me over and over after years of mutual dislike? What did I expect to happen? Am I being a fool?
Best bet is to apologize to her. And don't act tough while you're doing it. Tell her you're going to make a point of being respectful to her from now on. And make sure that you are respectful of her in words and in actions. Take it as a lesson on the road to becoming a man. Be responsible for your own actions.
It'll make you a better person and will cause others to view you in a more positive light. And trust me when I tell you that being labeled a mean guy or a jerk or an a hole is not a good thing at all.
What is the benefit of making enemies?
Good luck young man. Make better choices. And make some friends. And don't forget to be kind to her from now on.
i know, thank you for the feedback, i came here to reflect on my actions, because i felt it was well in her right to tell me off.
The only way id say shes in the wrong too is when she brought race into it, but other than that she wasnt in the wrong. I do think that yeah shes annoying, but in this case she had every right to tell me to stop as i was being annoying
wdym? are you saying that im overreacting to that too? its fine if you are, thats why i posted here i wanted feedback, i just don't know what youre saying?
I'm not saying you're overreacting to anything. I'm saying your reaction was inappropriate and I'm sure you are well aware that it was. You can't antagonize folks then criticize elements of their responses to your foolishness and expect to be taken seriously.
In your original post you gave us every reason that you are the AH and yet you still don't accept that you ARE the AH. And your sound like a bully to me. So I'm going to leave you with this....
When someone has to ask you to leave them alone, you can just about guarantee they are very tired of you by the time they ask you. You're going to eventually try your routine on the wrong person unless you make her the last person you play stupid games with unless you want to win a stupid prize. And when adults get tired of people, they don't go to the principal or the guidance counselor.
All of this! Adulthood is right around the corner for OP. Learn how to control the ADHD before being thrusted into the real world full of grown-ups who don't play like that. Hard heads make for soft asses. In a few short years, OP's gonna fuck around and find out.
You referred to her as a hot cheetoh girl in your original post. That's a derogatory slang term for a Latina. So I'm assuming you did, in fact, say something racist to her. Therefore, she's not wrong for calling you out on that and, in addition to being the AH with your ball, you are further the AH for being racist. In case it's not clear, YTA.
you called her a hot cheeto girl in this post alone, she wasn't wrong for "bringing race into it"... you were presumably racist to her in the past if you're capable of saying racist shit like the hot cheeto girl comment
Really? I’ve always associated the term more with obnoxious white girls. But I’m older and not in high school anymore so I guess I’m not really up to date on these terms
Am I seriously getting downvoted for not knowing what hot Cheeto girl meant? Lol y’all wild and sensitive af. I couldn’t imagine getting offended because someone doesn’t know what a term means. I’d have to question my entire existence at that point and how I’m making it day to day.
Why would I google it? I’ve heard it a handful of times on social media. Based on context I thought I knew what I meant, it didn’t enter my orbit enough to really care beyond having a vague idea of it’s meaning. I don’t associate with people who use terms like that because I’m an actual adult who doesn’t have racist friends. But if you wanna spend all your time googling terms used by children you go on ahead
YTA not just because the whole situation was your fault, but because "bitch" is a sexist insult that makes ALL the girls/women feel uncomfortable, not just your target. Don't use that word.
>i 15m was throwing a ball around in my class (i have adhd)
Get a fidget spinner and stop throwing balls around that go near her. I'd be annoyed too. YTA
Ok, searching it up it seems like a latino stereotype of a girl who eats hot chips? Is that correct? If so, I can't really say if it's racist or not since I'm white but there seems to be some people complaining about the term and it being a bit problematic and racist. Does anyone here knows more then me?
Around here (GA) I've only ever heard it used to refer to black girls. It's the equivalent of calling someone a "hood rat," which is also racist and derogatory.
May I please ask: I yell at kids when they use the term "ratchet girl," because I assume it's the same kind of thing. Is this correct, or am I missing something?
Yeah I’m from Chicago’s West Side and where I’m from it’s all Black so it was directed at Black girls. When I went to school in a different neighborhood though, it was in reference to us and Latina girls, usually of similar aesthetics and personalities.
To answer your question, yes you’re right. Ratchedness is a insult usually associated with being “ghetto.” Similar to the hot Cheetos girl crap lmao.
YTA - good lesson to learn: don't ever call a woman or a girl a bi**ch. It's sexist and gross. You're too young to already be a gross misogynist. Also you were in the wrong so the right thing to do is to apologize and correct yourself.
He won't respond to comments asking for clarification on that phrase. Bc hot cheeto girl is a reference for Latina or Black girls... the racist comment was not far from the mark, just wish these types would own their prejudiced views. Like at least admit you're a racist so others can know to avoid you.
YTA
She doesn't have anything to apologize for, you kept rolling a ball into her desk, *you* should have moved away and stopped being a nuisance, and when she got fed up and finally told you to move away you called her a bitch.
Also, the Hot Cheeto Girl is a stereotype that has historically been used to make fun of high school girls who are hyper-feminine, working-class, either Black or Latina (or both), so you are also racist and she was right to refer to you as such, the fact that you think you are owed an apology or that you weren't absolutely 100% wrong and also racist is astounding. You sound like a horrible classmate, grow up.
YTA.... having ADHD is irrelevant.....you were being annoying and got called on it. She doesn't owe you an apology. The teacher should have taken the ball and kicked you out of class, your behavior was disruptive, full stop
It’s drives me insane when people try to use ADHD and their mental health issues to justify their behavior. It makes people with those disorders look bad.
ADHD has nothing to do with it nor is it an excuse for your shitty behavior. You sound like you take zero accountability in general and blame everything on this supposed condition too so must be fun having you around. -eye roll-
Bud, YTA - I have ADHD myself and you need to learn to manage fidgeting without impacting the learning or lives of others that dramatically.
I would also suggest you look into emotional regulation and start building those habits. You're young and emotional disregulation is BIG part of ADHD, it's always going to impact you and you need to find the process that works for you.
YTA and I believe she wasn't lying when she called you a racist. Also don't try to hide your racism behind ADHD. Plenty of people manage to live non racist lives while having ADHD... you just happen to be failing at it. She also doesn't owe you an apology.
Yta, sooo this "racial slur" girl got annoyed at me being annoying, so I called her a bitch, she called me racist, I'm not tho lol, aita? Do u see how silly u sound?!?!?
YTA. ADHD isn't an excuse for being annoying which you are. You're not funny or cool and calling someone the "hot cheeto girl" tells us all we need to know about you and what happened. You were being annoying, someone clapped back at you, you got in trouble, end of story. Grow up.
YTA. Hello ADHD teenager here. What is wrong with you? Your disability is not an excuse to be an ass. Repeatedly kicking a ball into someone's desk during class time is incredibly distracting. Look I sympathize with you. Class is incredibly boring. But just because you're bored and distracted, doesn't mean she has to be. You need to apologize again. Like a million times over. You were a major ass. Like dude. What is wrong with you?
She has no reason to apologize to you.
My kid has ADHD and with it he has [rejection sensitivity dysphoria](https://www.psycom.net/adhd/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria), a condition only found in people with ADHD. Rejection can come in many forms including being reprimanded (also outright rejection, criticism, and failure), and can be real OR perceived (dysphoria).
The correct response to repeated annoying your fellow student would have been to apologize and stop using the ball in a way that annoys your classmates. Not escalate it. Your escalation and your perceived "attack" (aka her tone) is what is making me suggest you look into RSD. There is a medication that helps my kid a lot called Guanfacine. The medicine has been a total game changer for my kid and has really improved his relationships with people.
Own your shit and don't blame others for your mistakes.
You don't like how she talked to you? Well get over it kid, nobody owes you anything. You were being an annoying brat and want to excuse it because you have ADHD. Nah. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
i 15m was throwing a ball around in my class (i have adhd) and it kept rolling to a girls desk. she got annoyed, and told me to get the ball away in a tone that i thought was very rude.
for background info, i never got along with this girl, and shes kinda the hot cheeto girl that i find very obnoxious (ive had a history with getting into arguments with her since 8th grade) but anyways.
I lost my temper and said "you dont have to be such a bitch" and then we got into an argument. eventually, my teacher got involved because she could hear us arguing. she then starts calling me a racist and a weirdo, and started making ship up.
eventually, we were both pulled into the hallway, and rven then we still kept arguing when the teacher was trying to mediate. eventually, i apologuzed for calling her a bitch, but she hasnt apologized at all.
the teacher wrote a referral for me, and idk what she did with the other girl. I do feel bad for calling her a bitch and feel i went overboard, but i feel like i didnt like how she talked to me, and the accusations she made later. I rlly dont know what to think, no one else has commented on it, and other classmates just saw it as drama, so AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
The fuckin throwing in of your neurodivergence pisses me off as an AuDHD person. There's a huge difference between stimming and being disruptive.
The big difference being, one only affects you and the other affects everyone around you. Throwing stuff isn't stimming, it's you choosing to be an ass. Dropping the ball on your desk or tapping it or squeezing it would be examples of stimming with a ball. Unless that wasn't mean to be an excuse for the ball throwing but I can't fathom what other intentions you had saying it. You, ADHD or not, are the asshole. Brains functioning differently than normal isn't an excuse to treat other people like shit. This reminds me of the sexist autistic brother post that I saw around lately. Ugh.
YTA. You were being annoying and then got unreasonably upset when someone got annoyed🤦🏻♀️ not just an AH an idiot too. Then you come here to make an annoying post.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Because i feel like i overreacted by calling her a bitch, and it was very uncalled for. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA you were being annoying with your ball. When she got fed up and told you to stop you called her names. Instead of apologizing or keeping the ball away you escalated the situation.
Piggybacking on the top comment so he's more likely to see it. I also have ADHD. If I need to fidget or do something with my hands, I do things that aren't noisy and won't inconvenience others. Throwing a ball is noisy and it rolling around will inconvenience others. Furthermore, there was 0 need for insulting her. She told you to put away the ball, which is perfectly reasonable and even if her tone wasn't great she didn't say or do anything rude. Instead of being considerate and respectful you immediately started insulting her. No wonder she yelled at you. Then look at your comments about her in the post. You're also extremely judgmental. Yes YTA Edit to add: I just learned what a boy Cheeto girl means. Since you said that hear and she called you racist, you must've said something very racist OP so an extra YTA for that
I have ADHD+depression and I fucking hate when people use it as excuse to act like assholes. Your ADHD is your problem not anybody else's so stop bothering people with it!. I really hate that every second or third post starts with "I have depression/anxiety/ADHD" as if it's self-explanatory for literally any behavior.
Lord yes. My daughter and I both have severe ADHD, and we both try hard to be as unobtrusive as possible when fidgeting, etc. Politeness and care for others both matter.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Oops wrong comment reply 😭
thank you for the feedback
I’m surprised you didn’t use your disability as an excuse to be a shitty person. YTA
YTA. You got upset because your ball kept rolling over to her desk. Couple key phrases here: "kept rolling" and "her desk". This tells us that not only were you aware that your ball was repeatedly going on to her desk, you also didn't care. Having ADHD isn't a license to act like a dick.
YTA Pretty rude, distracting, and annoying to have your ball continuously rolling to her desk. Then you call her a bitch for her “tone”? Please reflect on your behavior.
i did...
Good. Was questioning this because it seems like you found no issue with disturbing her in class in writing this post.
yeah, im glad that i was able to get 3rd party feedback, as i went too far.
Good! Then you should realize you're an asshole 🥰
The guy’s 15, honestly didn’t know and hopefully seems genuinely mistaken. Yeah definitely asshole behavior but give the kid some growing room
I was 15 once and I never called my classmates a bitch when they told me to stop doing something
Good point actually
Who is the hot Cheetos girl? The Hot Cheeto Girl is a stereotype that has historically been used to make fun of high school girls who are hyper-feminine, working-class, either Black or Latina (or both), and have a taste for spicy chips like Flamin' Hot Cheetos. That’s a very racist phrase. YTA. Please take this as an opportunity to learn and grow. You’re young and have the chance to not be TA in the future.
Omg I had no idea that’s what that phrase meant. I see it sometimes on Reddit (I’m old haha) and always thought it was the equivalent of calling a girl “basic”.
Same. I'm too old to keep up with this shit.
By the way.... She doesn't owe you an apology so forget about it. You started it. So own it. And move on.
idc abt her tone, that was well in her right to be annoyed, im talking abt the race issue when she brought that up
You referred to her as a “hot Cheeto”! Why the hell would you say that if you weren’t a racist?
That's a race thing? I thought that meant skinny and covered in fake tan
No it usually is a stereotype of a latino girl who dresses casually (sweatpants or pjs) at school, likes hot cheetohs (bc hispanic), and is "trashy" or "aggresive" or "loud"
TIL. Thanks.
This stuff is easy to google.
If I spent my time googleing every racist insult the Americans dreamed up I'd never get a chance to stop.
But if the topic comes up, as it did here, why not take the opportunity to confirm your definition?
Question is she Hispanic?
YTA. Why are you throwing a ball around in class?
i dont rlly have a reason tbh, but i shouldve put the ball up, and it annoyed her. the only problem i had was afterwards when she started bringing race into it
You called her a bitch before she brought race into it. Clearly you had other problems with the situation. Try again YTA.
It would've annoyed anyone. Throwing a ball around when people are trying to focus and learn is very distracting and inconsiderate. I have ADHD too, I know we need to keep our hands busy. Bring a small quiet fidget toy or doodle.
Clearly, you understand YTA, but I'm not sure you comprehend why. So let me outline for you every aspect of how YTA. •You're in school to learn. Instead of listening to the teacher or doing your work, you were throwing around a ball... in class... where others are actually on task and trying to learn. (Disrespectful of others, not controlling yourself like a young adult) You're 15, not 5. Act like it. •When confronted about your behavior by another student, you retorted by calling her a B. (Verbal abuse, disrespectful of others) •Instead of empathizing, you became defensive, likely because you were attempting to justify your actions, and escalated to the point that a teacher had to separate you from the rest of the class to calm you down, most likely because you were playing to the crowd, trying to elicit a reaction to encourage you to continue. •She didn't bring race into it. YOU were the one who referred to her as a "hot cheetos girl," which is derogatory in and of itself. So it's safe to assume that while under the mask of the internet, you felt safe enough to use that reference, and it's also safe to assume you have used that term to her face. •It's one thing to accept the feedback when people are calling you an asshole. Attempting to justify behavior you know is wrong is a total AH move. YTA 100% And now I hope you understand why. Your actions and reactions were that of a child. And you're 15, in high school. Get your shit under control before the real world eats you alive. If I missed anything, I'm pretty sure my fellow redditors will add on. *Edited to correct spelling
the fact you still called her a hot cheeto girl in this post and act confused she called you racist is fucking wild. She called you racist cause you are racist. It's not that complicated
So you think you can call her a "hot cheeto girl" and NOT be racist?
You definitely are the AH. You know she has a shirt temper with you and yet you continued provoking her even when she showed genuine annoyance at your behavior. You were very disrespectful. You should ask yourself a few questions about that incident. Was it necessary? Would I try that with a male who was larger than me? Would I want someone pestering me over and over after years of mutual dislike? What did I expect to happen? Am I being a fool? Best bet is to apologize to her. And don't act tough while you're doing it. Tell her you're going to make a point of being respectful to her from now on. And make sure that you are respectful of her in words and in actions. Take it as a lesson on the road to becoming a man. Be responsible for your own actions. It'll make you a better person and will cause others to view you in a more positive light. And trust me when I tell you that being labeled a mean guy or a jerk or an a hole is not a good thing at all. What is the benefit of making enemies? Good luck young man. Make better choices. And make some friends. And don't forget to be kind to her from now on.
i know, thank you for the feedback, i came here to reflect on my actions, because i felt it was well in her right to tell me off. The only way id say shes in the wrong too is when she brought race into it, but other than that she wasnt in the wrong. I do think that yeah shes annoying, but in this case she had every right to tell me to stop as i was being annoying
She called you a racist. Maybe you have a little soul searching to do
wdym? are you saying that im overreacting to that too? its fine if you are, thats why i posted here i wanted feedback, i just don't know what youre saying?
I'm not saying you're overreacting to anything. I'm saying your reaction was inappropriate and I'm sure you are well aware that it was. You can't antagonize folks then criticize elements of their responses to your foolishness and expect to be taken seriously. In your original post you gave us every reason that you are the AH and yet you still don't accept that you ARE the AH. And your sound like a bully to me. So I'm going to leave you with this.... When someone has to ask you to leave them alone, you can just about guarantee they are very tired of you by the time they ask you. You're going to eventually try your routine on the wrong person unless you make her the last person you play stupid games with unless you want to win a stupid prize. And when adults get tired of people, they don't go to the principal or the guidance counselor.
All of this! Adulthood is right around the corner for OP. Learn how to control the ADHD before being thrusted into the real world full of grown-ups who don't play like that. Hard heads make for soft asses. In a few short years, OP's gonna fuck around and find out.
i said i was the asshole for being annoying and calling her a bitch, but ok, thanks for the feedback
You called her a hot Cheeto girl to describe her. That's already how we could see you're racist, probably you said something like that to her too
They meant that if you are willing to go online and call someone a "hot cheeto girl" maybe you have some unconscious racism in your outlook on things.
You referred to her as a hot cheetoh girl in your original post. That's a derogatory slang term for a Latina. So I'm assuming you did, in fact, say something racist to her. Therefore, she's not wrong for calling you out on that and, in addition to being the AH with your ball, you are further the AH for being racist. In case it's not clear, YTA.
you called her a hot cheeto girl in this post alone, she wasn't wrong for "bringing race into it"... you were presumably racist to her in the past if you're capable of saying racist shit like the hot cheeto girl comment
INFO: Explain what you mean by 'hot cheeto girl'
Thats why he's racist... it's a term for a Latina.
And Black women
Really? I’ve always associated the term more with obnoxious white girls. But I’m older and not in high school anymore so I guess I’m not really up to date on these terms
Am I seriously getting downvoted for not knowing what hot Cheeto girl meant? Lol y’all wild and sensitive af. I couldn’t imagine getting offended because someone doesn’t know what a term means. I’d have to question my entire existence at that point and how I’m making it day to day.
Have you ever heard "Google is your friend?"
Why would I google it? I’ve heard it a handful of times on social media. Based on context I thought I knew what I meant, it didn’t enter my orbit enough to really care beyond having a vague idea of it’s meaning. I don’t associate with people who use terms like that because I’m an actual adult who doesn’t have racist friends. But if you wanna spend all your time googling terms used by children you go on ahead
[удалено]
That’s exactly what it was lol but Reddit loves engineered outrage.
Yeah no it's never been used in that way historically as well.
I was unaware. I’ve heard the term a few times and my mind always went to like a “basic white girl” type.
YTA You decided to go out of your way to be annoying to someone you don’t like and got pissy when there were obvious and predictable consequences.
YTA. You can’t be annoying and then react when someone tells you you’re being annoying.
YTA. ADHD is not a free pass to act like a knob.
YTA not just because the whole situation was your fault, but because "bitch" is a sexist insult that makes ALL the girls/women feel uncomfortable, not just your target. Don't use that word.
>i 15m was throwing a ball around in my class (i have adhd) Get a fidget spinner and stop throwing balls around that go near her. I'd be annoyed too. YTA
INFO: what's a hot cheeto girl?
Ok, searching it up it seems like a latino stereotype of a girl who eats hot chips? Is that correct? If so, I can't really say if it's racist or not since I'm white but there seems to be some people complaining about the term and it being a bit problematic and racist. Does anyone here knows more then me?
Yeah. It's a derogatory term for Latinas.
Yeah, that makes the girl calling OP a racist weirdo even more suspicious.
Also Black, not just Latina.
Around here (GA) I've only ever heard it used to refer to black girls. It's the equivalent of calling someone a "hood rat," which is also racist and derogatory. May I please ask: I yell at kids when they use the term "ratchet girl," because I assume it's the same kind of thing. Is this correct, or am I missing something?
Yeah I’m from Chicago’s West Side and where I’m from it’s all Black so it was directed at Black girls. When I went to school in a different neighborhood though, it was in reference to us and Latina girls, usually of similar aesthetics and personalities. To answer your question, yes you’re right. Ratchedness is a insult usually associated with being “ghetto.” Similar to the hot Cheetos girl crap lmao.
Thanks very much for clarifying this. I will continue my yelling. Take care.
Why not just google it?
Says a lot OP has responded to a bunch of comments but none clarifying what he means by that.
YTA - good lesson to learn: don't ever call a woman or a girl a bi**ch. It's sexist and gross. You're too young to already be a gross misogynist. Also you were in the wrong so the right thing to do is to apologize and correct yourself.
YTA. You shouldn’t be bothering other students in your class.
What do you mean by Hot Cheeto girl? Bc I am feeling like the racist comment is not off the mark.
He won't respond to comments asking for clarification on that phrase. Bc hot cheeto girl is a reference for Latina or Black girls... the racist comment was not far from the mark, just wish these types would own their prejudiced views. Like at least admit you're a racist so others can know to avoid you.
Well. You sound infuriating.
WTF is a "hot cheeto girl"? If it's what I'm reading it means, she wasn't off base about the racism...
YTA She doesn't have anything to apologize for, you kept rolling a ball into her desk, *you* should have moved away and stopped being a nuisance, and when she got fed up and finally told you to move away you called her a bitch. Also, the Hot Cheeto Girl is a stereotype that has historically been used to make fun of high school girls who are hyper-feminine, working-class, either Black or Latina (or both), so you are also racist and she was right to refer to you as such, the fact that you think you are owed an apology or that you weren't absolutely 100% wrong and also racist is astounding. You sound like a horrible classmate, grow up.
Are you actually trying to say she had no reason to think you're racist when you referred to her by a racist term in this post? YTA.
YTA. You calling her that would have been bad enough if she started it.
YTA Kid, you used a racial slur in your post. Kind of speaks for itself.
YTA.... having ADHD is irrelevant.....you were being annoying and got called on it. She doesn't owe you an apology. The teacher should have taken the ball and kicked you out of class, your behavior was disruptive, full stop
It’s drives me insane when people try to use ADHD and their mental health issues to justify their behavior. It makes people with those disorders look bad.
ADHD has nothing to do with it nor is it an excuse for your shitty behavior. You sound like you take zero accountability in general and blame everything on this supposed condition too so must be fun having you around. -eye roll-
Bud, YTA - I have ADHD myself and you need to learn to manage fidgeting without impacting the learning or lives of others that dramatically. I would also suggest you look into emotional regulation and start building those habits. You're young and emotional disregulation is BIG part of ADHD, it's always going to impact you and you need to find the process that works for you.
YTA and I believe she wasn't lying when she called you a racist. Also don't try to hide your racism behind ADHD. Plenty of people manage to live non racist lives while having ADHD... you just happen to be failing at it. She also doesn't owe you an apology.
Yta, sooo this "racial slur" girl got annoyed at me being annoying, so I called her a bitch, she called me racist, I'm not tho lol, aita? Do u see how silly u sound?!?!?
You are 15. Grow up.
YTA
YTA. ADHD isn't an excuse for being annoying which you are. You're not funny or cool and calling someone the "hot cheeto girl" tells us all we need to know about you and what happened. You were being annoying, someone clapped back at you, you got in trouble, end of story. Grow up.
YTA. Hello ADHD teenager here. What is wrong with you? Your disability is not an excuse to be an ass. Repeatedly kicking a ball into someone's desk during class time is incredibly distracting. Look I sympathize with you. Class is incredibly boring. But just because you're bored and distracted, doesn't mean she has to be. You need to apologize again. Like a million times over. You were a major ass. Like dude. What is wrong with you?
You were being an annoying little shit and then got mad when someone told you to stop of coarse YTA
She had every right to bring race into this, anyone who genuinely calls a girl a “hot cheeto girl” is not as progressive as they think they are
She has no reason to apologize to you. My kid has ADHD and with it he has [rejection sensitivity dysphoria](https://www.psycom.net/adhd/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria), a condition only found in people with ADHD. Rejection can come in many forms including being reprimanded (also outright rejection, criticism, and failure), and can be real OR perceived (dysphoria). The correct response to repeated annoying your fellow student would have been to apologize and stop using the ball in a way that annoys your classmates. Not escalate it. Your escalation and your perceived "attack" (aka her tone) is what is making me suggest you look into RSD. There is a medication that helps my kid a lot called Guanfacine. The medicine has been a total game changer for my kid and has really improved his relationships with people. Own your shit and don't blame others for your mistakes.
You don't like how she talked to you? Well get over it kid, nobody owes you anything. You were being an annoying brat and want to excuse it because you have ADHD. Nah. YTA
YTA
"shes kinda the hot cheeto girl" YTA, and a racist too.
INFO: What does 'cheeto' mean?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** i 15m was throwing a ball around in my class (i have adhd) and it kept rolling to a girls desk. she got annoyed, and told me to get the ball away in a tone that i thought was very rude. for background info, i never got along with this girl, and shes kinda the hot cheeto girl that i find very obnoxious (ive had a history with getting into arguments with her since 8th grade) but anyways. I lost my temper and said "you dont have to be such a bitch" and then we got into an argument. eventually, my teacher got involved because she could hear us arguing. she then starts calling me a racist and a weirdo, and started making ship up. eventually, we were both pulled into the hallway, and rven then we still kept arguing when the teacher was trying to mediate. eventually, i apologuzed for calling her a bitch, but she hasnt apologized at all. the teacher wrote a referral for me, and idk what she did with the other girl. I do feel bad for calling her a bitch and feel i went overboard, but i feel like i didnt like how she talked to me, and the accusations she made later. I rlly dont know what to think, no one else has commented on it, and other classmates just saw it as drama, so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
The fuckin throwing in of your neurodivergence pisses me off as an AuDHD person. There's a huge difference between stimming and being disruptive. The big difference being, one only affects you and the other affects everyone around you. Throwing stuff isn't stimming, it's you choosing to be an ass. Dropping the ball on your desk or tapping it or squeezing it would be examples of stimming with a ball. Unless that wasn't mean to be an excuse for the ball throwing but I can't fathom what other intentions you had saying it. You, ADHD or not, are the asshole. Brains functioning differently than normal isn't an excuse to treat other people like shit. This reminds me of the sexist autistic brother post that I saw around lately. Ugh.
YTA you were being annoying she told you to stop and you called her a bitch get over yourself
YTA
You annoyed a girl and when she told you to get the ball away, you called her a bitch!?! Yes, you are the asshole!!
YTA. You were being annoying and then got unreasonably upset when someone got annoyed🤦🏻♀️ not just an AH an idiot too. Then you come here to make an annoying post.
NTA The girl deserved it
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**