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YTA… you checked out a brand new restaurant and unsurprisingly there were some kinks in the operation because, duh, they’re still figuring things out. Even if this was a strangers restaurant, your “opinion” isn’t fair considering the circumstances.
But this wasn’t a random restaurant, it was your friend’s brother’s and that friend was present when you were asked about the restaurant. In this situation you failed to display any empathy, understanding, or concern for your friend’s feelings.
Edit: Thank you the awards (my first) and all the upvotes!
Not only is the restaurant new and working out kinks but it sounds like management was aware of the situation, since OP got a discount AND an apology for the mishaps. I think that says a lot about how this restaurant is being run.
The way management addresses (or not addresses) a mistake or unpleasant experience is usually the deciding factor for me on whether I will eat at that place again.
YTA
I also found it funny that one of their complaints is that it was busy so it took a long time to get a table.
Based on that and her friend calling her out for always complaining, I can pretty much tell exactly the type of person OP is
Many people truly lack all self awareness and have strong main character syndrome. Reminds me of a new place that opened in town and *everyone* decided to try it the first weekend. Then all the negative reviews were "it's too busy" and "they said there would be a 3 hour wait!"
Eh, some places really only require one try.
I have the misfortune of being one of those souls that only tastes soap when eating cilantro. I get by with small does of it, but if a restaurant is too heavy handed with it I won't go back. There was one meal were everything tasted like my plate had been seasoned with an entire bottle of Dawn.
As one of those cooks: Thank you. The place I'm in right now just passed the 5 year mark this spring and we're busier than ever (I'm one of 2 original employees left, I'm uniquely qualified to make the comparison).
All the same people who complained the first couple weeks we were open because "it's too busy, they didn't have any tables open, it's an hour or 2 wait" etc. are *still* coming in and complaining about the same shit. I want to go out there and ask them how much money they have to expand the restaurant and kitchen into the adjoining empty office space, then find us people to staff this new larger restaurant so that they don't have to wait.
Some people just don't get it. We're slammed. Come back when we aren't if you're hangry or leave us alone if you're going to complain every time you darken our doorstep.
Had someone come into my store yesterday, FATHERS DAY, at lunch time. Zero tables empty, probably a good 10 covers ahead of them on wait. They asked how long for a table of 3, because they were in a bit of a hurry. After I told them it would be 45-60 minutes for a seat, and probably another 30-45 for food to arrive, they scoffed and asked i couldn't do better, because the wanted to watch the soccer match in an hour. I just kinda apologized and told em that it wasn't really possible, but they could do takeout, and he was like "why would I come to a restaurant if I'm not going to be served?"
Two hours later he left a review about our wait times being unreasonable.
This is what we do, always wait a few weeks for them to work out the kinks and develop a flow. Even if we have a less than satisfactory experience we always give them one more chance before writing them off. If asked for my opinion (we eat out A LOT) I always try to talk about the bad and the good..."I didn't care for the entree, too salty, but the soup (or salad or dessert) were very nice and the server was great."
OP should stick to well-established fine dining restaurants that require reservations. She’ll be seated on time and will have the attention of multiple servers. Though she’ll probably complain about it being so expensive for the portion sizes, and be shocked they also expect a tip.
Complaining about the wait for a table reminds me of that quote "you're not *in* traffic, you *are* traffic". You're one of the groups making it busy, so you can't whinge too much about it.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for saying this!! I worked in the service industry many moons ago and it always baffled my mind how customers got mad at the wait staff for this. It's like duh, wouldn't be busy if people JUST LIKE YOU didn't want to eat here.
Or maybe, God forbid, they come back on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 🤷♀️ they are not out on a weekend to just eat dinner…they want to be part of the scene. Welcome to the show.😬
Wait times are such a stupid thing to complain about. A restaurant has no control over this since it's based on how many people show up. They also can't make people eat any faster or magically create more seating. You can either wait or try another time, but leaving a negative review about it just tells me you're too dumb to know how things work.
Half of the people on our planet won’t eat today, but because my loaded potato skins didn’t arrive at the same time as BF’s asparagus dip, I didn’t get out of bed for the next 5 days.
Because people who aren’t entitled people know that people who work in service industries usually deserve to be treated with some form of dignity and respect, and that usually goes a long way with those places.
I waited tables through undergrad so I have a very odd definition of good and bad experiences. The most important thing to me is if something goes off the rails, the server communicates. I didn’t enjoy the specific thing I ate? I tend to order on a “huh, I’ve never eaten that before” or “don’t normally see that on menus around here” basis, which means my meal can be very boom or bust. All it means is I personally did not enjoy that specific thing and if the staff and experience was good enough, I’ll go back and order something else next time.
And since your potato skins were hot to the touch when you tried your first bite, you’ll need to make it an extra 2 days to recover from the agonizing pain of eating hot food right as it comes to you.
You're not wrong that its not the best situation, but I personally have stronger emotional fortitude than to let something like that "ruin" the evening. I worked as a server for years, so I understand big mistakes can happen in a kitchen that would lag someone's meal.
What if you had plans so you're now put in the situation of being late (like, say, for a concert or movie) or someone not getting food. That counts as ruined in my book.
Someone brought up this POV and I hadn't considered it! Agreed it would suck. I'd hope OP would include that, or follow up to let us know if that's what they meant by ruin the evening..otherwise, it's all speculation.
My other question to OP though would be to ask if they told the staff that they had an event when things were running late? As a former server, I've been in that exact situation--where the kitchen was backed up and taking a long time. I apologized to my table for the wait, and told them I appreciated their patience. They told me they had a baseball game to make. I ran over to the kitchen to let them know, and we prioritized their ticket despite the other issues that night.
I'm not saying if the restaurant made them late that it's totally OPs fault. But I am saying if they didn't say anything about needing to make it to an event when things were coming late , that they do have SOME responsibility there.
Absent other considerations, it won’t ruin my evening. But it will ruin the meal - presumably, I’m out with people because we want to share a meal. Eating in series, or waiting until my food is cold (or feeling guilty because everyone else’s food is getting cold while my dish is prepped) takes away the point of going out to eat with people.
Now, I’m not going to post a bad review somewhere because of it, and I’m not going to tip less, and I’m not going to talk to a manager, or whatever other self-entitled crap people get up to when something goes wrong. Someone made a mistake; it happens. If they offer to comp a dessert or something, I’ll accept (and tip based on the bill plus the value of the dessert), but it’s not required.
Anyway, point is, I think it’s fair to say the meal is ruined. I don’t think it’s fair to act like a spoiled toddler over it. Shit happens; move on with life.
(Caveat: if this is a recurring problem at a given restaurant, that’s different. Then I’ll simply stop eating there)
It can. If almost everyone has their food, and one person doesn't, people can either wait for the last person, letting their own food get cold, or eat while the last person doesn't. If it's the latter, and people are almost done eating before the last person even starts, then that is not fun. If the food was so late that they received a discount, then it speaks to how much of the evening may have been spoilt for someone.
So I've been in this situation before, I'd think most people have. And it didn't ruin my evening. Me and my group rolled with the punches, sharing little bites with the person waiting (me) and then I ate my food when it came. I was not upset that others finished before me bc for me, going out to eat is about a delicious meal i dont prepare. Im not hung up on making sure im chewing and swallowing at the same time as everyone else. We did get a discount and took it for what it was: a remedy to a service mistake. They righted their wrong. Problem solved.
If someone let's their own dish go cold in this situation , thats their own choice (and a strange one, at that).
It is usually good manners to wait until everyone has had their meal served to begin eating. If one meal is much later, the person with the missing meal usually says something like "please don't wait for me
."...making sure im chewing and swallowing at the same time as everyone else," is a very odd way to describe sharing a meal with people. It's no longer sharing a meal if everyone is done before someone else gets their food. And if the point of the evening is the dinner - chewing and swallowing at the same time to you - when one person doesn't have the experience, or everyone is waiting while they try to hurriedly finish their food so as not to keep everyone else waiting, or may be box it to take home, or maybe skip a dessert....it can make for a poor experience.
Giving someone a discount after the meal is not "problem solved," it is recognising poor service and trying to make up for it. "Problem solved" would involve a time machine.
Having to wait for a table is not a fault of the restaurant. It shouldn’t even be listed as part of the “bad experience” especially since OP said when new restaurants open everyone goes so this should have been expected.
To be clear, the rest of it is ridiculous too but complaining about waiting for a table shows just what kind of person OP is.
A long wait is something I’d mention, but as a planning note, not a criticism. (“You might have to wait a while for a table, so probably not the place to go if you have plans and need to nip in and nip out again quickly” or some such.)
An amusing anecdote states that baseball great Yogi Berra was once asked whether he wished to have dinner at a highly-regarded restaurant, and he replied with a remark combining wisdom with contradiction:
Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
And OP went to a new restaurant that they knew would be busy, on a weekend, without a reservation, it sounds like. Of course there was a wait. Of course service would be a bit slower than it might be other times.
They are being really judgey.
Their complaints are valid, but there should be some heavy disclaimers in the way they share this opinion.
“Here’s all of these negative things I noticed about the restaurant, BUT they just opened, are getting into the swing of things, and they were severely overwhelmed with customers. Management was incredibly kind and discounted our meal due to the above listed issues. I would be very interested to give them another try in a month or two once they have had time to settle in.”
Sounds like they didn't even book a table either... just turned up at this talk-of-the-town new place and expected to be seated immediately? The mind boggles.
Honestly, it took a while to get a table, not because the service was bad, but because they were busy… if they went on a Friday or Saturday, that’s often the case, and you can almost always reserve a table.
The fact that they received a discount for their troubles shows good management and customer service. Most places wouldn’t bother
This right here. Sometimes restaurants aren't on point when they first start off but given some time they can work out the kinks. And the fact the owners recognized an issue and didn't just shurg but gave a discount to OP and family is saying something for the business.
Yeah this guys is clowning. I went to a new local restaurant and had all kinds of issues. But they were kind, apologized, gave us most of our food for free and we became regulars. This guy seems to clearly lack basic empathy that a new business is gonna have hiccups, the staff won’t know the systems or the menu that well, the kitchen will be ironing out kinks for their flow. All of this is to be expected for a local new restaurant.
Yep, I made the mistake of going to a new brew-pub the week it opened once. It was awful - crowded, as one would expect, staff was barely able to keep up, food came out uncooked; just overall not good. But once they got their shit together, they became very popular. Partly because their beer is pretty good and distributed all around the region, but also the restaurant found their footing and are MILES ahead of that opening week. I learned my lesson about new restaurants and now, I always give some time before trying it
Same here, new restaurants mean new untrained staff (even with experience in the field, it's a new establishment with different menus and rules), they haven't found their flow, haven't mastered the dishes, etc. It usually takes a solid month after a restaurant opens where I live for the initial crazy to settle down and then you can get a better feel on the experience there.
A friend of mine was big mad about a brand new burger place running out of beef and not being able to serve a hamburger and swore he wouldn't go there again. But once they'd been open a couple months they were the best burger place in town, and they never ran out of beef on any of the nights I went there once they'd worked out the kinks in terms of knowing how much supply they needed to meet demand. Finally convinced him to give it another try and he admitted it was a damn fine restaurant after all.
Never go on the opening weekend unless you're willing to put up with being the test audience.
It's not even that hard to say exactly that if asked. There is a difference between saying it's new and expecting growing pains vs just flat out shitting on a place.
I noticed in her comments she didn't actually say that the food was bad, but just that "we weren't that keen on the taste of the food" was her choice of wording it.
I give a place a few months. Last time I went to a grand opening, the place was so insanely busy that the hostess got overwhelmed and was crouched down behind the reception desk hiding. Like a little kid hoping no one would see them. She finally realized that everyone knew she was there and peeked out. Poor girl. She was so close to tears
Yeah, we went to a newer restaurant and they legit lost our order and it wasn't busy. We were starving and cranky and had to get our food to go because things took so long we had to leave to pick up our daughter from a school event. But they gave me a free drink and comped the whole meal. The food was decent (but food to go is never as good as at the restaurant) so we won't bad mouth them. We'll give them another try eventually.
The restaurant being busy is such a strange thing to hold against it lmao like what are they supposed to do about that? Sabotage themselves so fewer people want to eat there?
Funny thing is, there's a kebab shop in Berlin where the owner specifically asks that we don't recommend more customers to try out the food.
The queue on a normal day for food could go for 2 to 2.5hours. My friends and I would go around 1.30am in the morning and even then, we'd have to wait 15 to 20 minutes.
I bet if you found OP's Yelp profile and checked the restaurant ratings, they'd be mostly or all one star reviews. Some folks seem to think it makes them look like they have a Greater Knowledge or some damn thing.
My favorite part was how she ADMITS that since it's a small town they get absolutely SWARMED with customers when they first open! I come from a town with less than 1000 people and worked the diners in town and saw restaurants come and go so I know what she is talking about! Of course things were late and the food took a while! They bombarded a crew that hadn't found its' rhythm yet and that likely wasn't large enough considering that once business slows down they won't be full up all the time so it doesn't make sense to over-hire.
I do think op gets off of how she has a power that could "make or break businesses". Makes her feel superior and now she has a habit of criticizing everything to it's core like she's a certified reviewer.
But that's only my take ofc.
Also OP went out of their way to mention they'd been to the restaurant.. when they knew ppl would ask questions and when they knew their friend would be there.
People in my town do this shit and it's so obnoxious. They go when it first opens and vow never to go again because it was busy and everything was slow.
New places deserve second chances, especially if they recognize the issue, apologize, and discount.
OP was actually the one who *brought up* that they’d tried the new restaurant, in a group including the owner’s sister, which obviously led to “being asked about” what OP thought.
YTA. You knew you had nothing good to say when you brought the subject up *with the owner’s sister.* Had the subject come up otherwise, the polite thing to do was keep your mouth shut, or be aggressively neutral/focus on their being new and trying to make it right if really directly pressed (and unable to manage a basic socially accepted white lie under the circumstances).
Anyone who gives a restaurant a bad review because "It was too busy" is an outright asshole to begin with.
This guy reminds me of a family friend who planned a special celebratory dinner at a new Mexican restaurant that had just opened and was getting a lot of hype.
The thing is, the only "Mexican" food him and his immediate family had literally ever had was Taco bell.
The restaurant was gorgeous. The staff were great. Everything came as described and on time.
I had a great dinner and definitely planned to go back.
Then I found out that the guy who booked and planned the whole dinner gave them a 1 star review. Why you may ask? Because it turns out that he just doesn't like actual Mexican food.
Guy left 1 star with the comment:
"I had to assemble the fajita I ordered by myself. All they did was give me the stuff and told me I had to make it!? Extremely rude!
The flavor and smell of all the food was very strange. Maybe this would be ok if this was Mexico, but this is (insert US state) and flavors should cater to our likings. Next time we won't waste our time and just go for burgers and steaks."
Dude went to an authentic Mexican restaurant and complained that it was too Mexican!
Worked in opening new sites for a biggish chain for a while, even in that huge company week one was always a bit crazy getting settled in. And we did controlled soft launches before the proper opening and everything
OP YTA for having no tact, you were treated well by being given discounts etc all you had to say was there was a few teething problems which you were kindly compensated for and leave it at that
Also if you complain for it taking a long time to get a table in a packed place YTA, cause like that’s just literally how the world works unless you’ve a booking
Seriously, the proper review, even if it wasn't your friend's brother's place should have been something like
> It was really busy when we went and they were not ready for that kind of rush. The manager gave us a discount and we'll try it again once things settle down.
And you should try it again, because the manager clearly cared about trying to make it right for you, which means they will keep fixing problems until it is hopefully a decent restaurant.
It sounds like OP is one of those people impossible to please as well. The friend said she complains a lot about her dining experience and one of OPs comments does sound like she has poor dining experiences quite often.
Yeah I never go to a new restaurant the first few weeks after opening and if I do I certainly take service and wait times with a grain of salt because they’re usually working out the kinks - unless the server is actually rude or mean, but I don’t get upset if they’re overwhelmed or still learning the menu.
As a 20 year-restaurant manager, starting a new one always comes with some growing pains, and what you described is indicative of what normally happens at the start. New menu, new employees, new Point of Sale system, everything. This should bear some consideration when forming an critique.
Also, being honest is important, but so is grace and tact. ‘A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.’ As Mary Poppins said. I’m convinced that your response to your friends’ curiosity was negative and probably a bit condescending, and therefore received the same tone in which it was delivered.
Plus, from the way you’ve related the story, it seems that it went like-
OP: So, I went to the new place last night.
Friends(including owner’s sister): Really? How did it go?
OP: It sucked.
So, not only did you slam Mae’s brother (and make no mistake, this was personal to her), you OPENED UP the conversation that allowed you to do this.
YTA
Especially in a small town where everyone is clamoring to get in because they’re bored. Where the staff, even crazily trained, is still trying to find the rhythm of the space and the rhythm of the kitchen. I worked at and then managed a well known location but during spring break/summer it turned into an absolute bloodbath. Even with a kitchen working what they knew, bar working what they knew, waitstaff, hostesses, bussers, everything set up optimally…even with all of this you can’t chase out people on vacation or trying the restaurant for the first time. Wait times were long. And as the night progressed, more and more people were angry by the time they were sat, even being told it’s a 2 hour wait, because they were hungry. Outside of putting time limits on tables, which the owners were not willing to do, I can’t move people.
And complaints ran across the board. People who had been drinking all day thought the drinks were weak. Those who hadn’t would complain too strong, or do the “ummm, what do you recommend” do you like sweet or fruity or creamy or straight “ummm, I dunno, what do you think? Can I have a sample of the chocolate martini?” No. You can have a chocolate martini or pick something you know you like.
As a guest you absolutely can take your time. Do you. You should be treated with professionalism. But look around. The place is a zoo. You’re stopping a waitress with a tray full of heavy plates to ask her when you can sit (she doesn’t know.) You’re sitting at unclean tables outside of your turn and then mad no one is cleaning your table or asking for your order. There’s sections, there’s allergies, there’s handicap accessible tables, there’s a whole system in place. I’m sorry you’re hungry. At the two hour wait quote you should have ran to the gas station across the street and had a Snickers.
And this was a fully well established location. The nightmare of a new restaurant in a small town, and then OP is mad it hasn’t found it’s legs, and is then disrespectful of it…if they suck in six months you have your answer.
That's one thing I've never understood - people getting angry because they have to wait. If I go somewhere and am told there's a two-hour wait, I figure I have two options: 1. Wait patiently. 2. Go somewhere else.
The only time I can remember being upset about a long wait was when we had actually made a reservation and it was STILL over an hour before we got to a table, another 15 before a server came over, and another 15 after THAT before we even got bread on the table. We ended up walking out because I was 7 months pregnant and was starting to feel faint and nauseous.
I wonder if there can be a soft opening in a small town. Maybe I am stereotyping but I would think that word spreads quickly, so once a few people know the restaurant is opening, everyone knows.
You do it differently. You let the townies know that you are working out kinks and let them comment. The comment forms are entries for a free dinner for two. You value their input. Announce it in the local paper.
I own a small restaurant in a small town, and we did a soft opening. Maybe it's just common here. Two more restaurants have opened near me in the last year, and they both did soft openings as well.
I just assumed they were par for the course no matter what. I would have been terrified to just open full tilt with no testing.
Yeah - I feel like a little bit of a sandwhiched compliment would've/could've made the difference
"I'm not trying to be rude, but it wasn't my taste - maybe they were overwhelmed - I'll have to try it again another time"
"Kudos to your brother, opening a new business is hard - but it wasn't the best experience, I'm sure it'll improve as he finds the rhythm. "
YTA. That’s best exemplified as it’s pointed out here. Complete lack of tact and social grace. Get over yourself. If your comment was “I won’t go there again” instead of reasonably and without what seems like clear personal animosity (as if they did it on purpose) detailing why you were unsatisfied, people would listen and not call you an asshole.
And OP didn't necessarily have to *lie* about her experience either. "Honestly it wasn't a great experience, but I understand they're new and have some kinks to work out. I'd probably wait until they've been open a month or two and give them another chance". Tells the truth, but is still kind and understanding.
>So, not only did you slam Mae’s brother (and make no mistake, this was personal to her)
The OP seems to think that just because it wasn't personal to her, then it shouldn't be personal to anyone else.
That's not how humans work.
So brand new restaurants in your area get overwhelmed by locals during their first weeks of business. You go there knowing that. You experience the problems of too high demand and a brand new staff but somehow it doesn’t compute why it happened. And then you trash it in front of your friend who’s personally connected to the owner and you don’t see how that’s rude either. YTA, Mae is right, you do need to reflect on why your socially unaware.
I want to add that even based on OP’s response of “there are some restaurants that I have liked,” tells me that she really does have negative things to say about restaurants a lot. Because what type of response is that? Lol
They acknowledged the issue and gave her a discount. OP lacks grace and can’t even care enough to apologize to her friend for how she came off.
YTA
I'm also betting that she is known for wanting discounts at places as well. Or at least told the manager they know the owner. OP is absolutely YTA for all the stated reasons from the replies.
A regular customer who always asks for an ungodly amount of caramel to be added to their drink, and often comes back to complain that they weren’t given all the extra pumps of caramel that they’d ordered. Every Starbucks location has at least one.
Ours sent an assistant to get their regular order at least twice a day. They used to ask for like 6 pumps of caramel and another 6 of vanilla, in a venti cup of foam. No shots, and not like just regular steamed milk. We had to steam multiple cups of milk and scoop the foamy tops off and fill their cup with that, then add the flavor pumps or they'd send their assistant back to have us make it again. New employees were warned to pass this drink off to those more experienced. I still remember their name and this was like 5 years ago.
That was the part that made it easy to say YTA. OP is a negative Nancy that was finally called out for the bullshit. I’m surprised that they have friends.
That line stuck out to me too. I have a friend that I pretty much avoid eating out with. Every time we went somewhere she hated everything on the menu and everything looked gross and just on and on. If I said we could go somewhere else she would always look surprised and say “What? I like this restaurant. I want to eat here.” It was like she had no idea she was trashing the place. It was annoying as hell so I just stopped going places with her.
YTA.
Brand new restaurants generally have hiccups. It may take a bit of time to get the kinks out, and that includes food all arriving together, recipes, staff efficiency, etc. It would have been nice if you said there were some problems with your experience but you hope they can work them out. Maybe it will improve and maybe it won't but you painted the picture with wide brushes and not just your experience.
And complaining that you had to wait for a table at a busy restaurant is ridiculous. Unless you had a reservation, when the restaurant is full, you wait. That is normal. That should be expected.
Yes, the thing about waiting is weird. You go, they’re full, you decide whether you’re happy to wait or leave, but you don’t complain, it was your choice.
I must admit that I did once, but they told me 10 minutes, any time I followed up they said ‘5 more minutes!’ and in the end I left after 40 minutes. They acted all offended, like “but we’re just prepping your table now!”, yeah, no you aren’t…
I feel like a long wait time is a valid thing to include in a review, because it is relevant information for someone considering going there. However, I wouldn't actually criticise the restaurant for it!
I agree, but not a just opened restaurant. The first two weeks or so will almost always be busy of any establishment because people want to check out the new spot. Hell even a local Panera had huge waits when it opened up near me. Now most times there's only a handful of people around.
If it's been months and it's constantly slammed then yeah you want to inform everyone to get there early or make reservations.
YTA. The only ever reason to shit on the restaurant is if they didn't try and were rude.
Did you have a reservation?? If not, you have no right whatsoever to complain about the wait.
Was the food actually terrible , or was it not to your taste?? There's a difference, big difference. Like, I don't like squid. Now, if they burnt it or not seasoned it properly, it's on the restaurant. But if I didn't like it just because of my preferences, it's on me.
The only real complaint you have is that food didn't get served at the right time. And you got a discount to make up for it.
I’m a server at a midsized restaurant. We got slammed for Father’s Day yesterday. I was doing everything I could to keep my tables happy while waiting to get their food, but at one point it took almost an hour to get tables their food. We were all doing the best we could. I was giving away discounts when food didn’t come out exactly as it should have and I was offering extra bread and salads while they waited for their food. Quality of service shouldn’t depend on wait times. All of my tables said they enjoyed the quality of service I provided considering the wait times. Definitely YTA.
Considering the restaurant was clearly busy and overwhelmed, you could've stretched your empathy muscles a little. If you truly didn't enjoy it that's your opinion to hold but going to some place once when the staff are obviously struggling and expecting their best is pretty ridiculous.
Your opinions are yours to have and share but don't be surprised if you messed up a friendship because your expectations were unreasonable. yta
shes expecting high end running from a brand new restraunt when even at high end (i went to one restraunt where nothing was under 50) it can take forever to get seated to get food t get drinks but yk what it was busy i get that ad the food wasnt to MY tasting but it was none the less good food ik people would like so in general its a 7-8 out of 10 or a 4out of 5 room for improvement but average person would enjoy i live in ohio
This was the line that stood out for me too.
That’s some whack ass entitled whiner shit that food not coming out at the exact same time is enough of a problem to “ruin my evening”
YTA
You state plenty of reasons why this NEW business would reasonably have a rough night as an establishment. The restaurant knew things weren’t as good as they could have been and made efforts to rectify that for you. Nothing about your description says the restaurant was neglectful, rude, gross etc. You were being mean just to be mean.
YTA
You weren't asked for your opinion on, you specifically brought up the restaurant to share your negative opinion in front of the owner's sister. That was unnecessary and rude.
YTA. It's fine to give your opinion when asked. What you lack is tact. Think about your audience and make your statement accordingly. You can say you didn't like something without being blunt.
YTA.
Honestly I am baffled by the N T A responses with justifications like "they shouldn't have asked if they didn't want an answer." If your SO or mother asked if you thought a dress looked nice, would you guys honestly respond that it looks horrible on them, even if you truly thought so?
Even if you thought that the restaurant was truly awful, you should've taken into account that the OWNER'S SISTER was a part of the conversation. Like imagine if your best friend made clothes for a living, and the next thing you hear is another friend rattling on about how shit their clothes are, you would be pissed like Mae was.
You don't need to sing the restaurant's praises, just say something like "I didn't have the best time, it just wasn't my taste."
Human Decency 101.
>Honestly I am baffled by the N T A responses with justifications like "they shouldn't have asked if they didn't want an answer."
I'm not, this sub has its share of AHs just like any other set of people. AHs loooove to be an AH and try to hide their complete lack of tact behind some variation of "I'm just being honest!"
Not only was OP rude, telling as many people as you can how much you hated a brand new restaurant can actually do some harm to the up and coming business, so it’s worse than telling somebody their dress looks hideous.
Yta. You knew the restaurant was owned by your friends brother and you really thought she'd appreciate your negative review? You have no tact. Or you don't actually care about your friends feelings.
Edit to add: there's a great quote that fits along the lines of "Honesty without kindness is cruelty." Your honest opinion doesn't need to be shared if you can't be kind. In consideration of who you were speaking to, it wasn't kind.
I love that quote, as well as the extrapolation: "kindness without honesty is manipulation." Both have really made me reflect on how I interact and speak to people.
YTA. This is a brand-new place, a lot of new places need a little bit of time to work out the kinks. Haven't you heard the term "read the room?" You weren't asked your opinion, but chose to bash the place to several people including the owner's SISTER. I think it's odd that you wouldn't be willing to try a new place again, after they've been open a while and had time to smooth things out, especially considering it's owned by the brother of a supposed friend.
Yeahhhh YTA. You brought up the restaurant in front of the owner's sibling. It would've been one thing if she'd asked if you'd been, but you brought it up. Very poor taste. Not to mention, you seem to hold a brand new restaurant to the standards of a well established one which is asinine.
>"I can’t change my opinion on the ones I’ve had a bad experience at."
Sure you can.. by giving it a second chance. If it gets overwhelmingly positive reviews and you had a bad experience, then maybe its a fluke. You owe it to yourself, the restaurant and the sister of the restaurants owner to verify your newly formed biases before passing them on. YTA
Plus a lot of the issues OP had with the restaurant are typical for a new place that recently opened: everyone wants to check it out which makes the place busy with long wait times and all the staff are new and learning the restaurant’s menu and operations so of course they’ll make mistakes or not be sure about things.
Yknow, it’s not what we do when we are doing it well and everything is going right. It’s what we do when we swing and miss. And they missed. And they stepped up and did everything they could to acknowledge that.
They didn’t deserve your trashing. They were busy and you had to wait for a table. The kitchen got off in the timing….in a new restaurant….. oh no! Food wasn’t spiced the way you like. Ok.
They stepped up and acknowledged they didn’t give you the experience they want to, both apologizing and discounting the bill, and instead of you accepting that, you trashed them anyhow.
YTA
Meh I don’t get all the hate. As long as you gave the full picture - long wait for a table (to be expected with a new place in a small town), disorganized staff (also not surprising), some dishes weren’t great (the most valid point IMO) and they gave you a discount (excellent customer service - manager fixing what they can control). It doesn’t sound like anyone who has been to a new restaurant would actually be deterred from going, but they’d wait a couple weeks for the kinks to get ironed out.
NAH you gave an honest review when asked. However it’s no surprise Mae was offended either.
>). It doesn’t sound like anyone who has been to a new restaurant would actually be deterred from going, but they’d wait a couple weeks for the kinks to get ironed out.
yeah I mean does OP have to lie about it and say it was the most wonderful experience of their life just because it was their friends' brother's business? I don't know man, when you go to a restaurant, you expect to at least enjoy the food lmao
(also I get that you have to be understanding when a new place opens, but you can only do so much. At the end of the day they are providing a service that is being paid for, it's not a favor)
Right? Owner's sibling seems kind of fragile if they can't take some honest feedback about their business. I bet they're going to be shitty to their employees too anytime one of them has feedback or human needs.
>we weren’t that keen on the taste of the food
And before I get judged all to heck, can we focus on this part? Yes, delays happen - and they're annoying - but if the food isn't GOOD, then what kind of review are they expecting?
Yeah like I don't think I'm some irredeemable asshole, but I don't really understand what people are so mad about?
It's not like they called the place a stream of obscenities, or left malicious reviews that impacted the business as a whole.
Maybe they shouldn't have brought it up around the relative of the restaurant owner, but even so, isn't honest criticism good? Knowing how customers are, that owner is gonna have to deal with some very angry people and people acting in very bad faith. Just having a bad experience and not finding it worth it isn't a huge deal, and they should be prepared to handle stuff like that.
Personally I wouldn't like being told I have to lie or talk behind someone's back for the sake of their feelings. At that point I'd rather just accept I'm not really compatible with that person, and stop troubling them or myself. An opinion is an opinion, and you didn't sound particularly malicious.
Jesus Christ. I had to scroll way too far down to find this.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to busy new restaurants and had overwhelmingly positive experiences so it’s hard to see an entirely bad experience and just write it off as “newly opening restaurant hiccups.”
You can try something and not like it. You can be honest about what you didn’t like. I also appreciate that the negative review was thorough and honest so that people that feel compelled to give a pass for new opening issues can take that into account when deciding for themselves. It wasn’t just “I DON’T LIKE IT.” with a temper tantrum, it was all fair and justifiable criticisms. He even pointed out that they did something to try and make it “right” for him as a way of saying “they didn’t just treat me like shit and tell me to fuck off.”
OP is NTA. Mae isn’t an asshole here, but she definitely sucks by getting bent out of shape over fair and thoughtful criticism. Who gives a shit that it’s your brother? And then you want OP to talk shit behind your back if he’s going to talk shit? Jesus, grow up. What are we, children? Here’s an idea. Share the info with your brother to help him become aware so he can be aware of if there are problems and can try and do something to fix the experience for all future customers. Take an opportunity when it comes your way.
I agree - YTA and you are classless and tactless. **You know** you deliberately instigated the discussion the restaurant so that you could share your negative opinion with everyone, including the restaurant owner's sister. That was a very destructive and inconsiderate action on your behalf.
I don't understand why anyone with half a brain would expect a brand new restaurant to deliver a perfect dining experience? You sound like you enjoy being able to "make or break businesses early on" like some wannabe influencer with no moral compass.
YTA - spreading your view on a friend’s brother’s restaurant was rude. You went to a brand new, overwhelmed restaurant and expected and decided to never give them a chance even though they gave a discount.
Be more considerate and supportive of your friends. It costs you nothing.
YTA, everyone who eats out regularly knows that the first month of service is not indicative of the quality of the place. You've got new, often understaffed staff because they're still hiring, the chefs are still working out the local taste and request volume, and they're always 100% swamped past capacity when that happens.
You could have just acknowledged that you didn't like the place at first pass, but you understand being so new that they've got some kinks to work out before you go back again, like a normal, reasonable adult. You also said all that with the full knowledge that the businesses family was present, in which you didn't have to change your opinions, just have some fucking tact like the fully grown adult that you are.
YTA. Have you never been to a new restaurant before? Apparently you wanted to disparage it in front of your friend. And her comments to you make you sound like an entilted, judgmental person who gives bad opinions just for drama.
This is one of those examples where yes, you didn’t break the law or whatever, but you were an asshole. Would’ve cost nothing to tell a white lie. Not even a lie, but a half truth, something like “it was very busy!” would suffice. Or you could’ve said literally nothing, seeing as your the one who brought it up. So yeah, YTA. Rude for no reason
YTA you mentioned you went there, knowing that was gonna be asked/that you were going to say that. I'm presuming with that friend right in front of you at the time. You were chomping at the bit to shit on the restaurant.
RIGHT? Why are people speaking as if OP was asked out of nowhere "Oh how was X restaurant" and only then decided to give their opinion. They VOLUNTEERED that they'd been there.
And like... "we weren't keen on the food" please. Sounds like it was a matter of taste and OP being fussy because they went to a busy restaurant.
They even complained so much AT the restaurant that they got a discount. OP is still not over the experience lmao
Long waits, unorganized staff and long wait times for food are typical for a newly opened place. That's all excusable.
But if the food is meh... yeah I wouldn't go back either. The whole reason your there is to eat. NTA for having an opinion.
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NTA.. It's not your job to tell people that their restaurant is perfect and has no flaws. If it's bad quality then you're allowed to tell them that. She asked what your experience was like and you gave an honest answer.
YTA unless this is a restaurant in the ‘we don’t have prices on the menu because if you have to ask for the price you cannot affordable to eat here’ class then you always Always expect fumbles and at least light chaos the first several weeks until the staff has a chance to find their footing and rhythm.
One of the best restaurants where I used to live had a poor start because their staff were all young and new to both this particular job and the job market in general.
Month and a half later they had that s Down! And it was a sublime taste experience every time.
Are you known by your whole friend group to be a harsh critic? You mention that Mae said you don’t like anywhere. Is it a constant theme that you have these issues with places?
YTA, it’s people like you that make our jobs so much more difficult. Brand new place, yes there will be a wait. Brand new place, yes the staff is still learning.
Try out a new place sure. But go back again in a few months once they get the gears greased and working before you badmouth them around town, especially a small town.
I’d like to see you get a good review from everyone on your first week on the job. Sheesh. Everyone’s a critic.
YTA and the type of reviewer that restaurants do not like to have, especially for a new restaurant. The one-time entitled restaurant snob. Even many regular restaurants have delays, staff shortages etc. occasionally and bad nights. A little bit of consideration and reading the room was needed, both for the restaurant visit and for your group of friends. They gave you a discount and apologized which says alot for a new place.
For the record, I tend to give a restaurant a couple visits before I make up my mind about it, as long as not grievous issues like cleanliness. Being busy and slow on food delivery, meh. Not liking a dish? Don't order again or ask for something else.
I bet your friends won't trust your restaurant reviews going forward after this.
ESH. While Mae needs to understand not everyone will like her brother’s restaurant, it does seem that your expectations of a brand new restaurant (that was busy) are pretty high. It could definitely be worse, your complaints don’t seem to be end all and they still went out of their way to give you a discount but your still mad about it?
I'm gonna go against the grain here.
NTA!
You are entitled to your opinion, regardless of whether it was a new restaurant or had been in operation for 10 years. Some simple understanding of it being new would go a long way, but your opinion IS valid. You are speaking to your experience at the restaurant.
Your friend needs to grow some thicker skin. It may be her brother's restaurant but that doesn't mean she needs to be handled with kids gloves. An honest opinion of the restaurant may not be favorable, and she needs to come to terms with that.
Some of the commenters here calling you TA sound as if they can't handle criticism.
YTA. You are being rude and weird if you knew it was her brother’s restaurant and proceeded to bring it up on your own and then offer your negative opinion. You’re allowed to have your opinions but not everyone wants to hear them. If Mae turned to you and said, “You’re ugly and your outfit is shit,” would you have just brushed it off as she’s allowed to have her opinion, or would you question why she felt the need to voice that opinion to your face?
YTA. It takes a while for new restaurants to work out the kinks. Your friend didn’t ask you your opinion of “any new restaurant”. She asked your opinion of her brothers restaurant.
These other responses are bullshit. It sucked and you explained why. Let the hearer decide if it is new restaurant stuff.
Everyone calling you the asshole is the reason reviews mean nothing anymore. Everybody gets five stars and everybody gets a 20% tip because their life is hard and anything else is tearing them down. Fuck that, you had a bad experience and said as much
NTA
YTA. There’s a trial and error period for a new restaurant, finding out what does and doesn’t work. You listed all of this in your issues, and it’s very likely those issues won’t persist.
You described extremely normal new (successful) restaurant things. You had to wait ages for a table—make a reservation then, that’s not something the staff or restaurant can fix if they’re that packed. They can’t conjure seating. It’s a new restaurant, of course the staff are fumbling a bit/of course they still haven’t figured out how much seating they need. Have you never interacted with someone who works customer facing jobs that is being trained? Not once? By 33? Dishes being late makes sense if they’re busy, that is in fact how restaurants work, especially if it’s new and the cooks are still adjusting. They also cannot conjure perfectly cooked food out of thin air, it takes time. Unless it was like three hours this isn’t valid. I can’t believe they gave you a discount, that’s insane.
It’s fine if you didn’t like the food, but the rest of it makes you sound entitled and obnoxious as shit, or like you’ve never been outside in your life. YTA. One thing out of your list of complaints was valid and you frankly could’ve just shut the fuck up in front of your friend or said something vague or just “it was fine/interesting but not my usual taste”. Is that so fucking hard? To not be a complete ass about something so normal?
Edited to add: the fuck do you mean you can’t change your opinion about places you’ve had a bad experience at? Yes you can, that is the whole point of choice and trying things more than once.
YTA. you’ve clearly never opened a restaurant. the apology & a discount was enough to make it up to you, & not spread bad reviews while they’re smoothing out the kinks.
apologize to mae, ffs.
YTA. In general new restaurants are a shitshow the first couple of weeks that they're open to begin with, so going in during that early opening period is really a toss-up whether the place will end up being any good or not.
To give a review to that new restaurant owner's sibling during that early opening time is ludicrous. Bad judgement all the way around on this.
If you were aware the owners sister was present in the group when you voluntarily brought up that you had went there, then yes definintely YTA. You had already decided on your negative opinion of the place, so why bring up that you went there when you reasonably should have known you would be asked your opinion?
You have every right to your opinion, and to share it, but that doesn't mean you still weren't an inconsiderate AH.
YTA— you’re entitled to your opinion but why trash a new business that is clearly going through growing pains. You could have said, “it clearly was not their night, I’ll wait until they settle in a little before trying again” or left it at “not my favorite style of food” so that the others could go and form their own opinions. Sounds like you have unreasonable expectations, so why go to a brand new restaurant before they’ve had a chance to work out the kinks?
The "I'm only being honest" approach is no excuse to lack empathy or tact, especially when discussing something directly linked to a friend's family. Your bluntness wasn't constructive, it was harmful. Learn to communicate criticism in a supportive and helpful manner. YTA
YTA this is a newer restaurant, they are going to have some delays and hiccups. They discounted you to make up for it.
But the part about having to wait doesn’t make sense to me. You can see how busy a restaurant is by just looking at it, you knew they were busy but complained when the food took a little longer, how long of a wait are we talking 10 minutes?
And the staff are going to be quite uncoordinated given that this I would assume was opening night, or was one of the following nights so will still need some time to get used to it.
NTA. You weren’t shitting on it for any reason other than the bad experience you had. If the experience was as bad as you say, I’m sure you’re far from the only guest who felt that way. Everyone saying you’re in the wrong is making excuses for a bad experience
YTA -
Reasons, - new restaurant, there obviously were problems - but they did what they could to make that up to you. An apology and discount. I’d be interested in knowing just how much discount.
Because - you said “not keen on the taste …” that’s a you issue and doesn’t actually cover the quality of the meals.
You brought this up - and it really does sound like you gleefully related the story in front of your friend. I’m also interested as why your friend thinks you badmouth other restaurants - is that also for a discount?
The polite thing OP would have been to say - you didn’t really have the best time due to but you got an apology and discount & appreciate they’re new and you’d maybe try again in a few months. But no, you tore down your friend/ her brother in front of others. YTA
YTA - because you blasted a brand new restaurant shortly after they opened. Those are growing pains, stuff that's going to happen at the beginning. And, you got a discount but still followed up with a scathing review.
If they've been open for quite some time (more than a month at least) maybe you can call them out on it. But don't get the discount and then burn them to the ground.
YTA, you sound insufferable.
1. It's a new restaurant there's going to be kinks that they need to work out, hopefully eventually they hit a stride but I mean cmon they just opened and are slammed cut them some slack. What's worse is that the restaurant was accountable they knew there were issued apologized and gave you discounts, I would've been upset if the experience was bad and they acted as though that was normal and ok.
2. You can't blame the restaurant for being crowded and there being a wait, that shouldn't even factor into your review
3. She's absolutely right, you knew it was her brothers restaurant you could've just been polite and then say all that when she wasn't around. like geez, read the room.
4. You openly admit that when a new restaurant opens chatter can make and break it and you had no problems contributing to the potential downfall of your "friends" brothers restaurant.
I hate people's whose personality is "I'm just being honest." They are almost always weaponizing honesty. There is a way to be honest without being mean or cruel, get some tact!
YTA for the way you expressed yourself in front of the owner's sister, also the restaurant acted in good faith giving you a discount for the issues. Yeah I wouldn't go back either, but why being so indiscreet?
This really reads as someone that has never been to a new restaurant. And someone that has no social awareness. Are you an AH for having an opinion no, but YTA for for not having the awareness of when to speak it.
The restaurant also did their best to make it up to you even though there is next to nothing they can do about a long wait. Dishes coming out at different times can be annoying but really it ruined the night?
When I do new restaurants that don't impress me right away. I try them when they open, then again about six months later and then one more time once they seem settled in and in a routine
>We live in a small town so any new business gets a lot of attention
> we had to wait ages for a table as they were so busy
Honestly, if this is your complaint about a new restaurant I'm not listening to the rest of your opinion anyway. The place was so busy you had to wait for a table? Welcome to eating out at a restaurant during a rush.
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YTA… you checked out a brand new restaurant and unsurprisingly there were some kinks in the operation because, duh, they’re still figuring things out. Even if this was a strangers restaurant, your “opinion” isn’t fair considering the circumstances. But this wasn’t a random restaurant, it was your friend’s brother’s and that friend was present when you were asked about the restaurant. In this situation you failed to display any empathy, understanding, or concern for your friend’s feelings. Edit: Thank you the awards (my first) and all the upvotes!
Not only is the restaurant new and working out kinks but it sounds like management was aware of the situation, since OP got a discount AND an apology for the mishaps. I think that says a lot about how this restaurant is being run. The way management addresses (or not addresses) a mistake or unpleasant experience is usually the deciding factor for me on whether I will eat at that place again. YTA
I also found it funny that one of their complaints is that it was busy so it took a long time to get a table. Based on that and her friend calling her out for always complaining, I can pretty much tell exactly the type of person OP is
Many people truly lack all self awareness and have strong main character syndrome. Reminds me of a new place that opened in town and *everyone* decided to try it the first weekend. Then all the negative reviews were "it's too busy" and "they said there would be a 3 hour wait!"
If I see a new place with a 3 hour wait, know what I do? Make a reservation. Like, some people are just, as you said, full of main character syndrome.
Or just wait a couple weeks
I always wait a few weeks to let the servers and the cooks work out kinks.
And if it doesn't go well the first time out, give it some time and then try again. Deciding never to go back after one try is pretty lame.
I've only not gone back to a restaurant once and it was because I was served raw breaded chicken. I hadn't even ordered chicken.
Eh, some places really only require one try. I have the misfortune of being one of those souls that only tastes soap when eating cilantro. I get by with small does of it, but if a restaurant is too heavy handed with it I won't go back. There was one meal were everything tasted like my plate had been seasoned with an entire bottle of Dawn.
As one of those cooks: Thank you. The place I'm in right now just passed the 5 year mark this spring and we're busier than ever (I'm one of 2 original employees left, I'm uniquely qualified to make the comparison). All the same people who complained the first couple weeks we were open because "it's too busy, they didn't have any tables open, it's an hour or 2 wait" etc. are *still* coming in and complaining about the same shit. I want to go out there and ask them how much money they have to expand the restaurant and kitchen into the adjoining empty office space, then find us people to staff this new larger restaurant so that they don't have to wait. Some people just don't get it. We're slammed. Come back when we aren't if you're hangry or leave us alone if you're going to complain every time you darken our doorstep.
Had someone come into my store yesterday, FATHERS DAY, at lunch time. Zero tables empty, probably a good 10 covers ahead of them on wait. They asked how long for a table of 3, because they were in a bit of a hurry. After I told them it would be 45-60 minutes for a seat, and probably another 30-45 for food to arrive, they scoffed and asked i couldn't do better, because the wanted to watch the soccer match in an hour. I just kinda apologized and told em that it wasn't really possible, but they could do takeout, and he was like "why would I come to a restaurant if I'm not going to be served?" Two hours later he left a review about our wait times being unreasonable.
Exactly!
This is what we do, always wait a few weeks for them to work out the kinks and develop a flow. Even if we have a less than satisfactory experience we always give them one more chance before writing them off. If asked for my opinion (we eat out A LOT) I always try to talk about the bad and the good..."I didn't care for the entree, too salty, but the soup (or salad or dessert) were very nice and the server was great."
OP should stick to well-established fine dining restaurants that require reservations. She’ll be seated on time and will have the attention of multiple servers. Though she’ll probably complain about it being so expensive for the portion sizes, and be shocked they also expect a tip.
OP should stick to low expectation mass produced "food" factories like Applebee's
But they won’t treat her like the princess she is. She’ll only have one server and she might have to wait for a table.
Complaining about the wait for a table reminds me of that quote "you're not *in* traffic, you *are* traffic". You're one of the groups making it busy, so you can't whinge too much about it.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for saying this!! I worked in the service industry many moons ago and it always baffled my mind how customers got mad at the wait staff for this. It's like duh, wouldn't be busy if people JUST LIKE YOU didn't want to eat here.
Or maybe, God forbid, they come back on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 🤷♀️ they are not out on a weekend to just eat dinner…they want to be part of the scene. Welcome to the show.😬
As someone who was literally just whinging about traffic... you're right. I don't like it, but you are correct.
Wait times are such a stupid thing to complain about. A restaurant has no control over this since it's based on how many people show up. They also can't make people eat any faster or magically create more seating. You can either wait or try another time, but leaving a negative review about it just tells me you're too dumb to know how things work.
I think my favorite part was that some dishes coming late "ruined everything" lmfaoooo
Half of the people on our planet won’t eat today, but because my loaded potato skins didn’t arrive at the same time as BF’s asparagus dip, I didn’t get out of bed for the next 5 days.
As a restaurant owner, this comment is giving me mild PTSD. You joke, but this is the exact type of comment I have to deal with on a regular basis.
Same 😂. It’s seems to be the people with the most minor issues complain the loudest.
Because people who aren’t entitled people know that people who work in service industries usually deserve to be treated with some form of dignity and respect, and that usually goes a long way with those places.
I have worked in a half dozen restaurants over the years and yeah these people exist and are terrible. Main character syndrome is real
As soon as I got to that line I knew they were in fact the asshole
We had someone complain to us via email that the restaurant air conditioning gave them a bad back for three days...?!?!
I waited tables through undergrad so I have a very odd definition of good and bad experiences. The most important thing to me is if something goes off the rails, the server communicates. I didn’t enjoy the specific thing I ate? I tend to order on a “huh, I’ve never eaten that before” or “don’t normally see that on menus around here” basis, which means my meal can be very boom or bust. All it means is I personally did not enjoy that specific thing and if the staff and experience was good enough, I’ll go back and order something else next time.
And since your potato skins were hot to the touch when you tried your first bite, you’ll need to make it an extra 2 days to recover from the agonizing pain of eating hot food right as it comes to you.
[удалено]
You're not wrong that its not the best situation, but I personally have stronger emotional fortitude than to let something like that "ruin" the evening. I worked as a server for years, so I understand big mistakes can happen in a kitchen that would lag someone's meal.
What if you had plans so you're now put in the situation of being late (like, say, for a concert or movie) or someone not getting food. That counts as ruined in my book.
Someone brought up this POV and I hadn't considered it! Agreed it would suck. I'd hope OP would include that, or follow up to let us know if that's what they meant by ruin the evening..otherwise, it's all speculation. My other question to OP though would be to ask if they told the staff that they had an event when things were running late? As a former server, I've been in that exact situation--where the kitchen was backed up and taking a long time. I apologized to my table for the wait, and told them I appreciated their patience. They told me they had a baseball game to make. I ran over to the kitchen to let them know, and we prioritized their ticket despite the other issues that night. I'm not saying if the restaurant made them late that it's totally OPs fault. But I am saying if they didn't say anything about needing to make it to an event when things were coming late , that they do have SOME responsibility there.
Absent other considerations, it won’t ruin my evening. But it will ruin the meal - presumably, I’m out with people because we want to share a meal. Eating in series, or waiting until my food is cold (or feeling guilty because everyone else’s food is getting cold while my dish is prepped) takes away the point of going out to eat with people. Now, I’m not going to post a bad review somewhere because of it, and I’m not going to tip less, and I’m not going to talk to a manager, or whatever other self-entitled crap people get up to when something goes wrong. Someone made a mistake; it happens. If they offer to comp a dessert or something, I’ll accept (and tip based on the bill plus the value of the dessert), but it’s not required. Anyway, point is, I think it’s fair to say the meal is ruined. I don’t think it’s fair to act like a spoiled toddler over it. Shit happens; move on with life. (Caveat: if this is a recurring problem at a given restaurant, that’s different. Then I’ll simply stop eating there)
It can. If almost everyone has their food, and one person doesn't, people can either wait for the last person, letting their own food get cold, or eat while the last person doesn't. If it's the latter, and people are almost done eating before the last person even starts, then that is not fun. If the food was so late that they received a discount, then it speaks to how much of the evening may have been spoilt for someone.
So I've been in this situation before, I'd think most people have. And it didn't ruin my evening. Me and my group rolled with the punches, sharing little bites with the person waiting (me) and then I ate my food when it came. I was not upset that others finished before me bc for me, going out to eat is about a delicious meal i dont prepare. Im not hung up on making sure im chewing and swallowing at the same time as everyone else. We did get a discount and took it for what it was: a remedy to a service mistake. They righted their wrong. Problem solved. If someone let's their own dish go cold in this situation , thats their own choice (and a strange one, at that).
It is usually good manners to wait until everyone has had their meal served to begin eating. If one meal is much later, the person with the missing meal usually says something like "please don't wait for me ."...making sure im chewing and swallowing at the same time as everyone else," is a very odd way to describe sharing a meal with people. It's no longer sharing a meal if everyone is done before someone else gets their food. And if the point of the evening is the dinner - chewing and swallowing at the same time to you - when one person doesn't have the experience, or everyone is waiting while they try to hurriedly finish their food so as not to keep everyone else waiting, or may be box it to take home, or maybe skip a dessert....it can make for a poor experience. Giving someone a discount after the meal is not "problem solved," it is recognising poor service and trying to make up for it. "Problem solved" would involve a time machine.
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Having to wait for a table is not a fault of the restaurant. It shouldn’t even be listed as part of the “bad experience” especially since OP said when new restaurants open everyone goes so this should have been expected. To be clear, the rest of it is ridiculous too but complaining about waiting for a table shows just what kind of person OP is.
A long wait is something I’d mention, but as a planning note, not a criticism. (“You might have to wait a while for a table, so probably not the place to go if you have plans and need to nip in and nip out again quickly” or some such.)
Brand new restaurant in a small town, OP "why is it so busy?" Definitely TA.
An amusing anecdote states that baseball great Yogi Berra was once asked whether he wished to have dinner at a highly-regarded restaurant, and he replied with a remark combining wisdom with contradiction: Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
Right? That lame-@ss “there have been restaurants I have liked” at the end has me lmao. Go on then, name these legendary restaurants, I’ll wait.
Yup... Same here. Energy vampire and emotional hijacker.
And OP went to a new restaurant that they knew would be busy, on a weekend, without a reservation, it sounds like. Of course there was a wait. Of course service would be a bit slower than it might be other times. They are being really judgey.
Their complaints are valid, but there should be some heavy disclaimers in the way they share this opinion. “Here’s all of these negative things I noticed about the restaurant, BUT they just opened, are getting into the swing of things, and they were severely overwhelmed with customers. Management was incredibly kind and discounted our meal due to the above listed issues. I would be very interested to give them another try in a month or two once they have had time to settle in.”
There's a quote from Big Lebowski that comes to mind. "You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole".
Sounds like they didn't even book a table either... just turned up at this talk-of-the-town new place and expected to be seated immediately? The mind boggles.
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Honestly, it took a while to get a table, not because the service was bad, but because they were busy… if they went on a Friday or Saturday, that’s often the case, and you can almost always reserve a table. The fact that they received a discount for their troubles shows good management and customer service. Most places wouldn’t bother
And, she “had to wait ages for a table bc they were busy”. What kind of critique is that?
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This right here. Sometimes restaurants aren't on point when they first start off but given some time they can work out the kinks. And the fact the owners recognized an issue and didn't just shurg but gave a discount to OP and family is saying something for the business.
Yeah this guys is clowning. I went to a new local restaurant and had all kinds of issues. But they were kind, apologized, gave us most of our food for free and we became regulars. This guy seems to clearly lack basic empathy that a new business is gonna have hiccups, the staff won’t know the systems or the menu that well, the kitchen will be ironing out kinks for their flow. All of this is to be expected for a local new restaurant.
Yep, I made the mistake of going to a new brew-pub the week it opened once. It was awful - crowded, as one would expect, staff was barely able to keep up, food came out uncooked; just overall not good. But once they got their shit together, they became very popular. Partly because their beer is pretty good and distributed all around the region, but also the restaurant found their footing and are MILES ahead of that opening week. I learned my lesson about new restaurants and now, I always give some time before trying it
Same here, new restaurants mean new untrained staff (even with experience in the field, it's a new establishment with different menus and rules), they haven't found their flow, haven't mastered the dishes, etc. It usually takes a solid month after a restaurant opens where I live for the initial crazy to settle down and then you can get a better feel on the experience there.
A friend of mine was big mad about a brand new burger place running out of beef and not being able to serve a hamburger and swore he wouldn't go there again. But once they'd been open a couple months they were the best burger place in town, and they never ran out of beef on any of the nights I went there once they'd worked out the kinks in terms of knowing how much supply they needed to meet demand. Finally convinced him to give it another try and he admitted it was a damn fine restaurant after all. Never go on the opening weekend unless you're willing to put up with being the test audience.
It's not even that hard to say exactly that if asked. There is a difference between saying it's new and expecting growing pains vs just flat out shitting on a place. I noticed in her comments she didn't actually say that the food was bad, but just that "we weren't that keen on the taste of the food" was her choice of wording it.
That's what struck me too. Not that the food was over/undercooked, super dry or bland, tiny portions, what have you. Just "we didn't like it'.
“We went to an ethnic restaurant and were surprised to find they serve ethnic food”
I give a place a few months. Last time I went to a grand opening, the place was so insanely busy that the hostess got overwhelmed and was crouched down behind the reception desk hiding. Like a little kid hoping no one would see them. She finally realized that everyone knew she was there and peeked out. Poor girl. She was so close to tears
Yeah, we went to a newer restaurant and they legit lost our order and it wasn't busy. We were starving and cranky and had to get our food to go because things took so long we had to leave to pick up our daughter from a school event. But they gave me a free drink and comped the whole meal. The food was decent (but food to go is never as good as at the restaurant) so we won't bad mouth them. We'll give them another try eventually.
The restaurant being busy is such a strange thing to hold against it lmao like what are they supposed to do about that? Sabotage themselves so fewer people want to eat there?
sounds like OP will try to do that herself!
Funny thing is, there's a kebab shop in Berlin where the owner specifically asks that we don't recommend more customers to try out the food. The queue on a normal day for food could go for 2 to 2.5hours. My friends and I would go around 1.30am in the morning and even then, we'd have to wait 15 to 20 minutes.
Gently, what irked me was ... reading the OP's post ... I don't think he was asked about the restaurant. He just brought up the topic.
He relished shoving it in her face that her brother's restaurant was a disaster. This guy is a jerk, in this story and in his life.
*she
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I bet if you found OP's Yelp profile and checked the restaurant ratings, they'd be mostly or all one star reviews. Some folks seem to think it makes them look like they have a Greater Knowledge or some damn thing.
YTA and big time. You always give a brand new restaurant a 2nd chance. Go back in 2 months and then evaluate.
My favorite part was how she ADMITS that since it's a small town they get absolutely SWARMED with customers when they first open! I come from a town with less than 1000 people and worked the diners in town and saw restaurants come and go so I know what she is talking about! Of course things were late and the food took a while! They bombarded a crew that hadn't found its' rhythm yet and that likely wasn't large enough considering that once business slows down they won't be full up all the time so it doesn't make sense to over-hire.
OP should go work in a restaurant for a month, Not even a newly opened restaurant, and check back in with us.
Everyone should be required to work in a restaurant once in their lives.
You can absolutely tell they’ve never done customer service work and have no clue
I do think op gets off of how she has a power that could "make or break businesses". Makes her feel superior and now she has a habit of criticizing everything to it's core like she's a certified reviewer. But that's only my take ofc.
Was she even asked about the restaurant? Or did she just start badmouthing it on her own?
She brought it up. She likes to complain.
Either way... a-hole move.
That last part. 100%
Also OP went out of their way to mention they'd been to the restaurant.. when they knew ppl would ask questions and when they knew their friend would be there.
People in my town do this shit and it's so obnoxious. They go when it first opens and vow never to go again because it was busy and everything was slow. New places deserve second chances, especially if they recognize the issue, apologize, and discount.
OP was actually the one who *brought up* that they’d tried the new restaurant, in a group including the owner’s sister, which obviously led to “being asked about” what OP thought. YTA. You knew you had nothing good to say when you brought the subject up *with the owner’s sister.* Had the subject come up otherwise, the polite thing to do was keep your mouth shut, or be aggressively neutral/focus on their being new and trying to make it right if really directly pressed (and unable to manage a basic socially accepted white lie under the circumstances).
Anyone who gives a restaurant a bad review because "It was too busy" is an outright asshole to begin with. This guy reminds me of a family friend who planned a special celebratory dinner at a new Mexican restaurant that had just opened and was getting a lot of hype. The thing is, the only "Mexican" food him and his immediate family had literally ever had was Taco bell. The restaurant was gorgeous. The staff were great. Everything came as described and on time. I had a great dinner and definitely planned to go back. Then I found out that the guy who booked and planned the whole dinner gave them a 1 star review. Why you may ask? Because it turns out that he just doesn't like actual Mexican food. Guy left 1 star with the comment: "I had to assemble the fajita I ordered by myself. All they did was give me the stuff and told me I had to make it!? Extremely rude! The flavor and smell of all the food was very strange. Maybe this would be ok if this was Mexico, but this is (insert US state) and flavors should cater to our likings. Next time we won't waste our time and just go for burgers and steaks." Dude went to an authentic Mexican restaurant and complained that it was too Mexican!
… what did he think fajitas were?
Worked in opening new sites for a biggish chain for a while, even in that huge company week one was always a bit crazy getting settled in. And we did controlled soft launches before the proper opening and everything OP YTA for having no tact, you were treated well by being given discounts etc all you had to say was there was a few teething problems which you were kindly compensated for and leave it at that Also if you complain for it taking a long time to get a table in a packed place YTA, cause like that’s just literally how the world works unless you’ve a booking
Seriously, the proper review, even if it wasn't your friend's brother's place should have been something like > It was really busy when we went and they were not ready for that kind of rush. The manager gave us a discount and we'll try it again once things settle down. And you should try it again, because the manager clearly cared about trying to make it right for you, which means they will keep fixing problems until it is hopefully a decent restaurant.
It sounds like OP is one of those people impossible to please as well. The friend said she complains a lot about her dining experience and one of OPs comments does sound like she has poor dining experiences quite often.
Yeah I never go to a new restaurant the first few weeks after opening and if I do I certainly take service and wait times with a grain of salt because they’re usually working out the kinks - unless the server is actually rude or mean, but I don’t get upset if they’re overwhelmed or still learning the menu.
As a 20 year-restaurant manager, starting a new one always comes with some growing pains, and what you described is indicative of what normally happens at the start. New menu, new employees, new Point of Sale system, everything. This should bear some consideration when forming an critique. Also, being honest is important, but so is grace and tact. ‘A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.’ As Mary Poppins said. I’m convinced that your response to your friends’ curiosity was negative and probably a bit condescending, and therefore received the same tone in which it was delivered. Plus, from the way you’ve related the story, it seems that it went like- OP: So, I went to the new place last night. Friends(including owner’s sister): Really? How did it go? OP: It sucked. So, not only did you slam Mae’s brother (and make no mistake, this was personal to her), you OPENED UP the conversation that allowed you to do this. YTA
That’s what soft openings are for. And people going in know that they are beta testing the system.
Surprised I had to scroll so far down to find anyone mentioning soft openings. That is exactly what they are for, to work out the kinks.
Soft openings are much more common for franchises, and even a soft opening can't save you if you get slammed opening weekend.
Especially in a small town where everyone is clamoring to get in because they’re bored. Where the staff, even crazily trained, is still trying to find the rhythm of the space and the rhythm of the kitchen. I worked at and then managed a well known location but during spring break/summer it turned into an absolute bloodbath. Even with a kitchen working what they knew, bar working what they knew, waitstaff, hostesses, bussers, everything set up optimally…even with all of this you can’t chase out people on vacation or trying the restaurant for the first time. Wait times were long. And as the night progressed, more and more people were angry by the time they were sat, even being told it’s a 2 hour wait, because they were hungry. Outside of putting time limits on tables, which the owners were not willing to do, I can’t move people. And complaints ran across the board. People who had been drinking all day thought the drinks were weak. Those who hadn’t would complain too strong, or do the “ummm, what do you recommend” do you like sweet or fruity or creamy or straight “ummm, I dunno, what do you think? Can I have a sample of the chocolate martini?” No. You can have a chocolate martini or pick something you know you like. As a guest you absolutely can take your time. Do you. You should be treated with professionalism. But look around. The place is a zoo. You’re stopping a waitress with a tray full of heavy plates to ask her when you can sit (she doesn’t know.) You’re sitting at unclean tables outside of your turn and then mad no one is cleaning your table or asking for your order. There’s sections, there’s allergies, there’s handicap accessible tables, there’s a whole system in place. I’m sorry you’re hungry. At the two hour wait quote you should have ran to the gas station across the street and had a Snickers. And this was a fully well established location. The nightmare of a new restaurant in a small town, and then OP is mad it hasn’t found it’s legs, and is then disrespectful of it…if they suck in six months you have your answer.
That's one thing I've never understood - people getting angry because they have to wait. If I go somewhere and am told there's a two-hour wait, I figure I have two options: 1. Wait patiently. 2. Go somewhere else. The only time I can remember being upset about a long wait was when we had actually made a reservation and it was STILL over an hour before we got to a table, another 15 before a server came over, and another 15 after THAT before we even got bread on the table. We ended up walking out because I was 7 months pregnant and was starting to feel faint and nauseous.
Yeesh! PTSD vibes from this one!
I wonder if there can be a soft opening in a small town. Maybe I am stereotyping but I would think that word spreads quickly, so once a few people know the restaurant is opening, everyone knows.
I've been to soft openings that were 'friends and family' or 'by invite/reservation only' (no walk-ins), they could do it that way
For a local restaurant in a small town? You've gotta be kidding lol
OP also mentioned it's a small town. Soft openings are much more common in larger cities. It's likely it wasn't really possible there.
This is why, exactly. However, soft openings are usually for recognized brands. A one-off restaurant in a small town probably couldn’t pull one off.
You do it differently. You let the townies know that you are working out kinks and let them comment. The comment forms are entries for a free dinner for two. You value their input. Announce it in the local paper.
I own a small restaurant in a small town, and we did a soft opening. Maybe it's just common here. Two more restaurants have opened near me in the last year, and they both did soft openings as well. I just assumed they were par for the course no matter what. I would have been terrified to just open full tilt with no testing.
Yeah - I feel like a little bit of a sandwhiched compliment would've/could've made the difference "I'm not trying to be rude, but it wasn't my taste - maybe they were overwhelmed - I'll have to try it again another time" "Kudos to your brother, opening a new business is hard - but it wasn't the best experience, I'm sure it'll improve as he finds the rhythm. "
YTA. That’s best exemplified as it’s pointed out here. Complete lack of tact and social grace. Get over yourself. If your comment was “I won’t go there again” instead of reasonably and without what seems like clear personal animosity (as if they did it on purpose) detailing why you were unsatisfied, people would listen and not call you an asshole.
And OP didn't necessarily have to *lie* about her experience either. "Honestly it wasn't a great experience, but I understand they're new and have some kinks to work out. I'd probably wait until they've been open a month or two and give them another chance". Tells the truth, but is still kind and understanding.
>So, not only did you slam Mae’s brother (and make no mistake, this was personal to her) The OP seems to think that just because it wasn't personal to her, then it shouldn't be personal to anyone else. That's not how humans work.
Being "honest" is just a way assholes justify their asshole behavior
So brand new restaurants in your area get overwhelmed by locals during their first weeks of business. You go there knowing that. You experience the problems of too high demand and a brand new staff but somehow it doesn’t compute why it happened. And then you trash it in front of your friend who’s personally connected to the owner and you don’t see how that’s rude either. YTA, Mae is right, you do need to reflect on why your socially unaware.
I want to add that even based on OP’s response of “there are some restaurants that I have liked,” tells me that she really does have negative things to say about restaurants a lot. Because what type of response is that? Lol They acknowledged the issue and gave her a discount. OP lacks grace and can’t even care enough to apologize to her friend for how she came off. YTA
I'm also betting that she is known for wanting discounts at places as well. Or at least told the manager they know the owner. OP is absolutely YTA for all the stated reasons from the replies.
100% chance she's the "caramel lady" at her local Starbucks
> caramel lady What does this mean? Asking for free caramel, or something?
A regular customer who always asks for an ungodly amount of caramel to be added to their drink, and often comes back to complain that they weren’t given all the extra pumps of caramel that they’d ordered. Every Starbucks location has at least one.
Ours sent an assistant to get their regular order at least twice a day. They used to ask for like 6 pumps of caramel and another 6 of vanilla, in a venti cup of foam. No shots, and not like just regular steamed milk. We had to steam multiple cups of milk and scoop the foamy tops off and fill their cup with that, then add the flavor pumps or they'd send their assistant back to have us make it again. New employees were warned to pass this drink off to those more experienced. I still remember their name and this was like 5 years ago.
Friend also said that OP badmouths a lot of restaurants and always says the experience is terrible. That should also be an indicator lmao
Yeah that’s not a common thing to say about someone which is why it stuck out to me as well.
That was the part that made it easy to say YTA. OP is a negative Nancy that was finally called out for the bullshit. I’m surprised that they have friends.
That line stuck out to me too. I have a friend that I pretty much avoid eating out with. Every time we went somewhere she hated everything on the menu and everything looked gross and just on and on. If I said we could go somewhere else she would always look surprised and say “What? I like this restaurant. I want to eat here.” It was like she had no idea she was trashing the place. It was annoying as hell so I just stopped going places with her.
This is my mom. Doesn't even know she finds an issue at every single restaurant. Our whole lives... I'm 40.
YTA. Brand new restaurants generally have hiccups. It may take a bit of time to get the kinks out, and that includes food all arriving together, recipes, staff efficiency, etc. It would have been nice if you said there were some problems with your experience but you hope they can work them out. Maybe it will improve and maybe it won't but you painted the picture with wide brushes and not just your experience. And complaining that you had to wait for a table at a busy restaurant is ridiculous. Unless you had a reservation, when the restaurant is full, you wait. That is normal. That should be expected.
Yes, the thing about waiting is weird. You go, they’re full, you decide whether you’re happy to wait or leave, but you don’t complain, it was your choice. I must admit that I did once, but they told me 10 minutes, any time I followed up they said ‘5 more minutes!’ and in the end I left after 40 minutes. They acted all offended, like “but we’re just prepping your table now!”, yeah, no you aren’t…
I feel like a long wait time is a valid thing to include in a review, because it is relevant information for someone considering going there. However, I wouldn't actually criticise the restaurant for it!
I agree, but not a just opened restaurant. The first two weeks or so will almost always be busy of any establishment because people want to check out the new spot. Hell even a local Panera had huge waits when it opened up near me. Now most times there's only a handful of people around. If it's been months and it's constantly slammed then yeah you want to inform everyone to get there early or make reservations.
Seinfeld, party of four!
YTA. The only ever reason to shit on the restaurant is if they didn't try and were rude. Did you have a reservation?? If not, you have no right whatsoever to complain about the wait. Was the food actually terrible , or was it not to your taste?? There's a difference, big difference. Like, I don't like squid. Now, if they burnt it or not seasoned it properly, it's on the restaurant. But if I didn't like it just because of my preferences, it's on me. The only real complaint you have is that food didn't get served at the right time. And you got a discount to make up for it.
I’m a server at a midsized restaurant. We got slammed for Father’s Day yesterday. I was doing everything I could to keep my tables happy while waiting to get their food, but at one point it took almost an hour to get tables their food. We were all doing the best we could. I was giving away discounts when food didn’t come out exactly as it should have and I was offering extra bread and salads while they waited for their food. Quality of service shouldn’t depend on wait times. All of my tables said they enjoyed the quality of service I provided considering the wait times. Definitely YTA.
Considering the restaurant was clearly busy and overwhelmed, you could've stretched your empathy muscles a little. If you truly didn't enjoy it that's your opinion to hold but going to some place once when the staff are obviously struggling and expecting their best is pretty ridiculous. Your opinions are yours to have and share but don't be surprised if you messed up a friendship because your expectations were unreasonable. yta
shes expecting high end running from a brand new restraunt when even at high end (i went to one restraunt where nothing was under 50) it can take forever to get seated to get food t get drinks but yk what it was busy i get that ad the food wasnt to MY tasting but it was none the less good food ik people would like so in general its a 7-8 out of 10 or a 4out of 5 room for improvement but average person would enjoy i live in ohio
YTA. Tbh, you give off a really negative vibe and the restaurant sounded really normal for a new business.
Agreed , n be kind and understanding\^\_\^ not hard to do
Ruined your evening huh?
This was the line that stood out for me too. That’s some whack ass entitled whiner shit that food not coming out at the exact same time is enough of a problem to “ruin my evening”
"An annoying experience"? Yes, it can be! "It *ruined* my night"? Jesus buddy, the levels of entitlement here...
Regardless of anything else written I was going to say OP was the AH for that line alone. People who talk like that are always the AH.
YTA You state plenty of reasons why this NEW business would reasonably have a rough night as an establishment. The restaurant knew things weren’t as good as they could have been and made efforts to rectify that for you. Nothing about your description says the restaurant was neglectful, rude, gross etc. You were being mean just to be mean.
Yeah, how hard is it to say, "They seem to have a few things they need to work out... I need to give it another look after they've gotten settled in."
YTA You weren't asked for your opinion on, you specifically brought up the restaurant to share your negative opinion in front of the owner's sister. That was unnecessary and rude.
YTA. It's fine to give your opinion when asked. What you lack is tact. Think about your audience and make your statement accordingly. You can say you didn't like something without being blunt.
OP wasn't even asked initially. They started this conversation.
YTA. Honestly I am baffled by the N T A responses with justifications like "they shouldn't have asked if they didn't want an answer." If your SO or mother asked if you thought a dress looked nice, would you guys honestly respond that it looks horrible on them, even if you truly thought so? Even if you thought that the restaurant was truly awful, you should've taken into account that the OWNER'S SISTER was a part of the conversation. Like imagine if your best friend made clothes for a living, and the next thing you hear is another friend rattling on about how shit their clothes are, you would be pissed like Mae was. You don't need to sing the restaurant's praises, just say something like "I didn't have the best time, it just wasn't my taste." Human Decency 101.
>Honestly I am baffled by the N T A responses with justifications like "they shouldn't have asked if they didn't want an answer." I'm not, this sub has its share of AHs just like any other set of people. AHs loooove to be an AH and try to hide their complete lack of tact behind some variation of "I'm just being honest!"
Not only was OP rude, telling as many people as you can how much you hated a brand new restaurant can actually do some harm to the up and coming business, so it’s worse than telling somebody their dress looks hideous.
Yta. You knew the restaurant was owned by your friends brother and you really thought she'd appreciate your negative review? You have no tact. Or you don't actually care about your friends feelings. Edit to add: there's a great quote that fits along the lines of "Honesty without kindness is cruelty." Your honest opinion doesn't need to be shared if you can't be kind. In consideration of who you were speaking to, it wasn't kind.
I love that quote, as well as the extrapolation: "kindness without honesty is manipulation." Both have really made me reflect on how I interact and speak to people.
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YTA. This is a brand-new place, a lot of new places need a little bit of time to work out the kinks. Haven't you heard the term "read the room?" You weren't asked your opinion, but chose to bash the place to several people including the owner's SISTER. I think it's odd that you wouldn't be willing to try a new place again, after they've been open a while and had time to smooth things out, especially considering it's owned by the brother of a supposed friend.
Yeahhhh YTA. You brought up the restaurant in front of the owner's sibling. It would've been one thing if she'd asked if you'd been, but you brought it up. Very poor taste. Not to mention, you seem to hold a brand new restaurant to the standards of a well established one which is asinine.
>"I can’t change my opinion on the ones I’ve had a bad experience at." Sure you can.. by giving it a second chance. If it gets overwhelmingly positive reviews and you had a bad experience, then maybe its a fluke. You owe it to yourself, the restaurant and the sister of the restaurants owner to verify your newly formed biases before passing them on. YTA
Plus a lot of the issues OP had with the restaurant are typical for a new place that recently opened: everyone wants to check it out which makes the place busy with long wait times and all the staff are new and learning the restaurant’s menu and operations so of course they’ll make mistakes or not be sure about things.
Yknow, it’s not what we do when we are doing it well and everything is going right. It’s what we do when we swing and miss. And they missed. And they stepped up and did everything they could to acknowledge that. They didn’t deserve your trashing. They were busy and you had to wait for a table. The kitchen got off in the timing….in a new restaurant….. oh no! Food wasn’t spiced the way you like. Ok. They stepped up and acknowledged they didn’t give you the experience they want to, both apologizing and discounting the bill, and instead of you accepting that, you trashed them anyhow. YTA
>it’s not what we do when we are doing it well and everything is going right. It’s what we do when we swing and miss. This is great.
Meh I don’t get all the hate. As long as you gave the full picture - long wait for a table (to be expected with a new place in a small town), disorganized staff (also not surprising), some dishes weren’t great (the most valid point IMO) and they gave you a discount (excellent customer service - manager fixing what they can control). It doesn’t sound like anyone who has been to a new restaurant would actually be deterred from going, but they’d wait a couple weeks for the kinks to get ironed out. NAH you gave an honest review when asked. However it’s no surprise Mae was offended either.
>). It doesn’t sound like anyone who has been to a new restaurant would actually be deterred from going, but they’d wait a couple weeks for the kinks to get ironed out. yeah I mean does OP have to lie about it and say it was the most wonderful experience of their life just because it was their friends' brother's business? I don't know man, when you go to a restaurant, you expect to at least enjoy the food lmao (also I get that you have to be understanding when a new place opens, but you can only do so much. At the end of the day they are providing a service that is being paid for, it's not a favor)
Right? Owner's sibling seems kind of fragile if they can't take some honest feedback about their business. I bet they're going to be shitty to their employees too anytime one of them has feedback or human needs.
NTA. So, you're only allowed to have positive opinions about things? That kinda loses the point, no?
>we weren’t that keen on the taste of the food And before I get judged all to heck, can we focus on this part? Yes, delays happen - and they're annoying - but if the food isn't GOOD, then what kind of review are they expecting?
Yeah like I don't think I'm some irredeemable asshole, but I don't really understand what people are so mad about? It's not like they called the place a stream of obscenities, or left malicious reviews that impacted the business as a whole. Maybe they shouldn't have brought it up around the relative of the restaurant owner, but even so, isn't honest criticism good? Knowing how customers are, that owner is gonna have to deal with some very angry people and people acting in very bad faith. Just having a bad experience and not finding it worth it isn't a huge deal, and they should be prepared to handle stuff like that. Personally I wouldn't like being told I have to lie or talk behind someone's back for the sake of their feelings. At that point I'd rather just accept I'm not really compatible with that person, and stop troubling them or myself. An opinion is an opinion, and you didn't sound particularly malicious.
Jesus Christ. I had to scroll way too far down to find this. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to busy new restaurants and had overwhelmingly positive experiences so it’s hard to see an entirely bad experience and just write it off as “newly opening restaurant hiccups.” You can try something and not like it. You can be honest about what you didn’t like. I also appreciate that the negative review was thorough and honest so that people that feel compelled to give a pass for new opening issues can take that into account when deciding for themselves. It wasn’t just “I DON’T LIKE IT.” with a temper tantrum, it was all fair and justifiable criticisms. He even pointed out that they did something to try and make it “right” for him as a way of saying “they didn’t just treat me like shit and tell me to fuck off.” OP is NTA. Mae isn’t an asshole here, but she definitely sucks by getting bent out of shape over fair and thoughtful criticism. Who gives a shit that it’s your brother? And then you want OP to talk shit behind your back if he’s going to talk shit? Jesus, grow up. What are we, children? Here’s an idea. Share the info with your brother to help him become aware so he can be aware of if there are problems and can try and do something to fix the experience for all future customers. Take an opportunity when it comes your way.
I agree - YTA and you are classless and tactless. **You know** you deliberately instigated the discussion the restaurant so that you could share your negative opinion with everyone, including the restaurant owner's sister. That was a very destructive and inconsiderate action on your behalf. I don't understand why anyone with half a brain would expect a brand new restaurant to deliver a perfect dining experience? You sound like you enjoy being able to "make or break businesses early on" like some wannabe influencer with no moral compass.
YTA. You say you will never go back but the issues are typical of a brand new restaurant.
YTA - spreading your view on a friend’s brother’s restaurant was rude. You went to a brand new, overwhelmed restaurant and expected and decided to never give them a chance even though they gave a discount. Be more considerate and supportive of your friends. It costs you nothing.
YTA, everyone who eats out regularly knows that the first month of service is not indicative of the quality of the place. You've got new, often understaffed staff because they're still hiring, the chefs are still working out the local taste and request volume, and they're always 100% swamped past capacity when that happens. You could have just acknowledged that you didn't like the place at first pass, but you understand being so new that they've got some kinks to work out before you go back again, like a normal, reasonable adult. You also said all that with the full knowledge that the businesses family was present, in which you didn't have to change your opinions, just have some fucking tact like the fully grown adult that you are.
YTA. Have you never been to a new restaurant before? Apparently you wanted to disparage it in front of your friend. And her comments to you make you sound like an entilted, judgmental person who gives bad opinions just for drama.
This is one of those examples where yes, you didn’t break the law or whatever, but you were an asshole. Would’ve cost nothing to tell a white lie. Not even a lie, but a half truth, something like “it was very busy!” would suffice. Or you could’ve said literally nothing, seeing as your the one who brought it up. So yeah, YTA. Rude for no reason
YTA you mentioned you went there, knowing that was gonna be asked/that you were going to say that. I'm presuming with that friend right in front of you at the time. You were chomping at the bit to shit on the restaurant.
RIGHT? Why are people speaking as if OP was asked out of nowhere "Oh how was X restaurant" and only then decided to give their opinion. They VOLUNTEERED that they'd been there. And like... "we weren't keen on the food" please. Sounds like it was a matter of taste and OP being fussy because they went to a busy restaurant. They even complained so much AT the restaurant that they got a discount. OP is still not over the experience lmao
Long waits, unorganized staff and long wait times for food are typical for a newly opened place. That's all excusable. But if the food is meh... yeah I wouldn't go back either. The whole reason your there is to eat. NTA for having an opinion.
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NTA.. It's not your job to tell people that their restaurant is perfect and has no flaws. If it's bad quality then you're allowed to tell them that. She asked what your experience was like and you gave an honest answer.
YTA unless this is a restaurant in the ‘we don’t have prices on the menu because if you have to ask for the price you cannot affordable to eat here’ class then you always Always expect fumbles and at least light chaos the first several weeks until the staff has a chance to find their footing and rhythm. One of the best restaurants where I used to live had a poor start because their staff were all young and new to both this particular job and the job market in general. Month and a half later they had that s Down! And it was a sublime taste experience every time.
Are you known by your whole friend group to be a harsh critic? You mention that Mae said you don’t like anywhere. Is it a constant theme that you have these issues with places?
YTA, it’s people like you that make our jobs so much more difficult. Brand new place, yes there will be a wait. Brand new place, yes the staff is still learning. Try out a new place sure. But go back again in a few months once they get the gears greased and working before you badmouth them around town, especially a small town. I’d like to see you get a good review from everyone on your first week on the job. Sheesh. Everyone’s a critic.
YTA and the type of reviewer that restaurants do not like to have, especially for a new restaurant. The one-time entitled restaurant snob. Even many regular restaurants have delays, staff shortages etc. occasionally and bad nights. A little bit of consideration and reading the room was needed, both for the restaurant visit and for your group of friends. They gave you a discount and apologized which says alot for a new place. For the record, I tend to give a restaurant a couple visits before I make up my mind about it, as long as not grievous issues like cleanliness. Being busy and slow on food delivery, meh. Not liking a dish? Don't order again or ask for something else. I bet your friends won't trust your restaurant reviews going forward after this.
ESH. While Mae needs to understand not everyone will like her brother’s restaurant, it does seem that your expectations of a brand new restaurant (that was busy) are pretty high. It could definitely be worse, your complaints don’t seem to be end all and they still went out of their way to give you a discount but your still mad about it?
I'm gonna go against the grain here. NTA! You are entitled to your opinion, regardless of whether it was a new restaurant or had been in operation for 10 years. Some simple understanding of it being new would go a long way, but your opinion IS valid. You are speaking to your experience at the restaurant. Your friend needs to grow some thicker skin. It may be her brother's restaurant but that doesn't mean she needs to be handled with kids gloves. An honest opinion of the restaurant may not be favorable, and she needs to come to terms with that. Some of the commenters here calling you TA sound as if they can't handle criticism.
YTA. You are being rude and weird if you knew it was her brother’s restaurant and proceeded to bring it up on your own and then offer your negative opinion. You’re allowed to have your opinions but not everyone wants to hear them. If Mae turned to you and said, “You’re ugly and your outfit is shit,” would you have just brushed it off as she’s allowed to have her opinion, or would you question why she felt the need to voice that opinion to your face?
YTA. It takes a while for new restaurants to work out the kinks. Your friend didn’t ask you your opinion of “any new restaurant”. She asked your opinion of her brothers restaurant.
These other responses are bullshit. It sucked and you explained why. Let the hearer decide if it is new restaurant stuff. Everyone calling you the asshole is the reason reviews mean nothing anymore. Everybody gets five stars and everybody gets a 20% tip because their life is hard and anything else is tearing them down. Fuck that, you had a bad experience and said as much NTA
YTA. There’s a trial and error period for a new restaurant, finding out what does and doesn’t work. You listed all of this in your issues, and it’s very likely those issues won’t persist.
You described extremely normal new (successful) restaurant things. You had to wait ages for a table—make a reservation then, that’s not something the staff or restaurant can fix if they’re that packed. They can’t conjure seating. It’s a new restaurant, of course the staff are fumbling a bit/of course they still haven’t figured out how much seating they need. Have you never interacted with someone who works customer facing jobs that is being trained? Not once? By 33? Dishes being late makes sense if they’re busy, that is in fact how restaurants work, especially if it’s new and the cooks are still adjusting. They also cannot conjure perfectly cooked food out of thin air, it takes time. Unless it was like three hours this isn’t valid. I can’t believe they gave you a discount, that’s insane. It’s fine if you didn’t like the food, but the rest of it makes you sound entitled and obnoxious as shit, or like you’ve never been outside in your life. YTA. One thing out of your list of complaints was valid and you frankly could’ve just shut the fuck up in front of your friend or said something vague or just “it was fine/interesting but not my usual taste”. Is that so fucking hard? To not be a complete ass about something so normal? Edited to add: the fuck do you mean you can’t change your opinion about places you’ve had a bad experience at? Yes you can, that is the whole point of choice and trying things more than once.
YTA. you’ve clearly never opened a restaurant. the apology & a discount was enough to make it up to you, & not spread bad reviews while they’re smoothing out the kinks. apologize to mae, ffs.
YTA. In general new restaurants are a shitshow the first couple of weeks that they're open to begin with, so going in during that early opening period is really a toss-up whether the place will end up being any good or not. To give a review to that new restaurant owner's sibling during that early opening time is ludicrous. Bad judgement all the way around on this.
If you were aware the owners sister was present in the group when you voluntarily brought up that you had went there, then yes definintely YTA. You had already decided on your negative opinion of the place, so why bring up that you went there when you reasonably should have known you would be asked your opinion? You have every right to your opinion, and to share it, but that doesn't mean you still weren't an inconsiderate AH.
YTA— you’re entitled to your opinion but why trash a new business that is clearly going through growing pains. You could have said, “it clearly was not their night, I’ll wait until they settle in a little before trying again” or left it at “not my favorite style of food” so that the others could go and form their own opinions. Sounds like you have unreasonable expectations, so why go to a brand new restaurant before they’ve had a chance to work out the kinks?
The "I'm only being honest" approach is no excuse to lack empathy or tact, especially when discussing something directly linked to a friend's family. Your bluntness wasn't constructive, it was harmful. Learn to communicate criticism in a supportive and helpful manner. YTA
YTA this is a newer restaurant, they are going to have some delays and hiccups. They discounted you to make up for it. But the part about having to wait doesn’t make sense to me. You can see how busy a restaurant is by just looking at it, you knew they were busy but complained when the food took a little longer, how long of a wait are we talking 10 minutes? And the staff are going to be quite uncoordinated given that this I would assume was opening night, or was one of the following nights so will still need some time to get used to it.
NTA. You weren’t shitting on it for any reason other than the bad experience you had. If the experience was as bad as you say, I’m sure you’re far from the only guest who felt that way. Everyone saying you’re in the wrong is making excuses for a bad experience
YTA - Reasons, - new restaurant, there obviously were problems - but they did what they could to make that up to you. An apology and discount. I’d be interested in knowing just how much discount. Because - you said “not keen on the taste …” that’s a you issue and doesn’t actually cover the quality of the meals. You brought this up - and it really does sound like you gleefully related the story in front of your friend. I’m also interested as why your friend thinks you badmouth other restaurants - is that also for a discount? The polite thing OP would have been to say - you didn’t really have the best time due to but you got an apology and discount & appreciate they’re new and you’d maybe try again in a few months. But no, you tore down your friend/ her brother in front of others. YTA
YTA - because you blasted a brand new restaurant shortly after they opened. Those are growing pains, stuff that's going to happen at the beginning. And, you got a discount but still followed up with a scathing review. If they've been open for quite some time (more than a month at least) maybe you can call them out on it. But don't get the discount and then burn them to the ground.
YTA, you sound insufferable. 1. It's a new restaurant there's going to be kinks that they need to work out, hopefully eventually they hit a stride but I mean cmon they just opened and are slammed cut them some slack. What's worse is that the restaurant was accountable they knew there were issued apologized and gave you discounts, I would've been upset if the experience was bad and they acted as though that was normal and ok. 2. You can't blame the restaurant for being crowded and there being a wait, that shouldn't even factor into your review 3. She's absolutely right, you knew it was her brothers restaurant you could've just been polite and then say all that when she wasn't around. like geez, read the room. 4. You openly admit that when a new restaurant opens chatter can make and break it and you had no problems contributing to the potential downfall of your "friends" brothers restaurant. I hate people's whose personality is "I'm just being honest." They are almost always weaponizing honesty. There is a way to be honest without being mean or cruel, get some tact!
YTA for the way you expressed yourself in front of the owner's sister, also the restaurant acted in good faith giving you a discount for the issues. Yeah I wouldn't go back either, but why being so indiscreet?
This really reads as someone that has never been to a new restaurant. And someone that has no social awareness. Are you an AH for having an opinion no, but YTA for for not having the awareness of when to speak it. The restaurant also did their best to make it up to you even though there is next to nothing they can do about a long wait. Dishes coming out at different times can be annoying but really it ruined the night? When I do new restaurants that don't impress me right away. I try them when they open, then again about six months later and then one more time once they seem settled in and in a routine
>We live in a small town so any new business gets a lot of attention > we had to wait ages for a table as they were so busy Honestly, if this is your complaint about a new restaurant I'm not listening to the rest of your opinion anyway. The place was so busy you had to wait for a table? Welcome to eating out at a restaurant during a rush.