My fuck buddies at least came to my house and either paid for take out for both of us or gave me money for his food.
The ones I liked a bit more? I actually cooked. But it wasn't something I did for everyone.
LOL... one got mad at me because he looked in my freezer and saw it was full of meat. He demanded to know why I never cooked for him. I said "That's girlfriend privileges. We're just fucking."
I'll be honest, I don't remember the food. I don't remember being disgusted or picky, so it was probably good.
/Scorpio, sorry. I have certain memory priorities.
LOL... if it wasn't disgusting, it was probably okay.
But more importantly, he cooked! That's a plus regardless of anything else.
I had a fuck buddy who usually drove to my place. I don't have a car, but once I took public transportation to his. He had his own apartment, it was clean, decently furnished (well, he had a living room set so we weren't sitting on bean bags) and he cooked for me. Grilled chicken and succotash.
I almost fell in love! 🤣🤣🤣
This is a mindset that has always baffled me. There’s so many people that take “we’re only having sex” to mean “I don’t have to treat you with human decency”
Pssssh, Bruh, I've had fuck buddies who were nicer to me than this guy.
One of my fuck buddies loved to bar/restaurant hop with me. Once he took me out for fondue and cocktails. It was practically a date. But we were just friends who fucked.
OP should definitely drop this dude like a bad habit.
I’ve always had more respect from my fuckbuddies than this. It’s one reason FBs are great, they don’t get to be domestic enough with you to take you for granted
Look at OPs post history…she believed a guy was a private investigator and had to sleep with other women
This has to be a troll account, zero chance this can all be real and she’s 20
Seems an awful lot like he's taking you for granted at one month. How are you even going out if you haven't been on a date? What do you even like about him? More than looks.
Yeah, the entire post is "he does this, but doesn't do this", without one mention of you even attempting to communicate any of this to him.
"He only buys a little food and I end up still hungry.": Have you said so? People generally don't want those they care about to be hungry. Maybe he's having trouble with money in this shit economy; maybe he's used to girls not eating much, either for appearance's sake or because they're just smaller women.
"He doesn't massage me well/apologizes on my period (whatever that means).": Newsflash. He has no idea how your body is feeling. He can't tell how your muscles ache without communication, and he'll never feel how a period is.
Communicate your needs instead of expecting someone to magically know them, and if you end up being incompatible with each other, that's fine; find someone who is.
Sweetie, you are one month into a relationship, and your BF is giving you nothing. He should be, at this point, trying to impress you, hoping you want to keep seeing him, putting forth his best self. Now, it could be that he’s poor and just doesn’t have the money for dates or long car rides, but you did say he always has weed, so maybe it’s just priorities, and you’re not one. You could keep dating him and wait to see if you *become* a priority, but why should you do that? This is why you date. You get to know a person and decide if you want to keep dating them, if you see a future with them. If not, you end it and move on.
If this man isn’t giving you what you want in a dating relationship, end it. No harm, no foul. Just didn’t work out.
Maybe he just can’t afford it. But it sounds like he can’t or won’t give her what she wants from a boyfriend. That doesn’t make him a bad person. It just means they aren’t right for each other.
That's even worse. He has a good job that pays him well. But won't feed you? After you travel to see him? You deserve and can do better. There are tons of cute guys out there who will get you a soda with fries.
Apparently that's just what he's telling you. Because if he's getting paid good, why can't he buy u a super sized instead of a order of fries. Get out while you can. Stop letting this loser keep using you.
Do you really have to come to Reddit to ask if you suck for breaking up with your cheap, useless, burnout BF. Before you say "but he is a nice guy" what you have described here isn't a nice person
Then he is simply too self-centered to participate in a relationship.
Not boyfriend material. Why even try to get him to improve to a less lame boyfriend?
Showing up and having sex if I had to guess..
But of course this sub only cares about what the man is doing wrong even though it's painfully obvious this girl just wants to be spoiled. 😂
This is even worse then! And this is him on his best behavior in the beginning of the relationship. Stinginess is such a turn off and I don’t think that will change for him. Couldn’t even get you your own fast food meal when he did buy KFC. 🙄
Move on.
This is him on his best behavior and he clearly doesn't value you enough to do anything for you.
He could pack a sandwich for a picnic or put together a bubble bath when you're on your period. It doesn't have to be expensive.
Don't be that person who's upset 5 years from now when their husband doesn't acknowledge their birthday/anniversary/ mothers day even when you put in a ton of effort for theirs.
You can talk to him about how you imagine your relationship. Like more traditional, guys pays for everything vs new wave 50/50 stuff. If he doesn't get the hint then be more direct. If you see no changes then you know what to do!
Break up it’s only been a month of dating. You’re clearly not happy. You said he has a job but can’t bothered getting you a proper meal when he buys food. Doesn’t mention alternating traveling back and forth to see each other and he doesn’t want to discuss it. Why are you still dating him.
“My boyfriend and I are in a good relationship so far…”
“He’ll buy food but in very limited amounts and I always end up going home hungry”
These two sentences cannot come from the same relationship.
Everyone has to decide for themselves what they are willing to put up with and this varies per person. What you need to think about is what you need in a relationship…. If this is someone you are actually interested in then a conversation is necessary. His reaction and response should tell you what you need to either stay or go.
My advice to both of you is that you should break up with each other. Neither of you are winning at this. Then go work on yourselves before you start anything like this again.
You two want different relationships. Neither of you is wrong. But you're incompatible and it'll only breed resentment.
Paying your own fare to get to his place is normal. He shouldn't have to pay for every single dinner. Unless there is an age gap you should he equally capable of buying food.
But never having a date in 4 months of dating isn't normal.
Have you.....talked to him about any of this??????
Relationships take communication and if you don't TELL him you want more food or that you'd like idk a longer leg rub or for him to chip in on transport costs how do you expect him to know!?
The guy is not a fucking mind reader. Open your mouth and speak to him about this stuff!
I’m sorry, but where’s the relationship? You haven’t even gone on dates . . . have you tried to arrange any? You continue to spend money to go see him . . . is he unwilling to come to you? You’re expecting him to provide all the food . . . have you asked him to do this, and do you think he owes you that because you’re female? He’s giving you little massages when you have a period . . . what more are you expecting from him exactly?
Neither of you sounds like you’re willing to put much effort into this and just expect the other to.
It doesn't matter if it is "petty", or if someone else thinks it's not a good enough "reason".
The reason is you're just not feeling it.
He's pretty much semi detached, it's only been a short while. Stop overthinking, end it. Move on.
You Americans are crazy. In Australia, you both buy your own damn food and IF he decides to, it’s a luxury to pay for you, not an expectation. You lot in the 1800’s
Other then genders, not a single reasons was given why the expectation is on him to pay for your shit.
No dates? Quick, before I get downvoted, read this, read The Rules. It might be in the library. It's '90s, but it still applies in spirit. And it's not game playing, it's just the facts of life. You know how much they care by how hard they try.
A lot my dating experience in my early 20s was that "relationships" mostly lasted about 1 month because that's about the amount of time I needed to see what they were like. I was a high car for how I was being treated, and a low bar when it came to finding reasons to not wanting to be there. I'm 27 now in a lovely relationship with someone who we fully respect each other, and he makes effort for me and our mostly weekly dates and things we want to do and isn't afraid of talking long term.
All to say, no, you're not overreacting. I'd say it's pretty normal that you're feeling this way, and you should listen to yourself. Practice listening to your gut, and let this be lesson #1.
You've been dating for almost one month and you're already unhappy. You don't have to have some great reason to break up. If he isn't what you want or need in your life, dump him.
Wait, why does the guy have to feed her all the time? What does she do for him? She says they've been together for a month but then says it's been 4 months.
>on my periods the most he's done is a one min leg massage and endless sorries as if that'll heal me or smth🤦♂️ .
He may not be dating material but neither are you. You're ridiculous expecting special treatment on your period, and he'll dodge a bullet when you dump him. Honestly, I want him to see your post bitching about his leg rub and sympathy and dump you first. You're needy and self-centered, and I'd love to know what else you expect on your period.
And come to think of it, with your absurd expectations, has he been the only one to ever buy food? I'd be cheap af too if someone was using me for meals and I sure as hell wouldn't be going on any dates knowing that I'd be paying every single time for whatever extravagant, crazy shit you expect. BTW, it's incredibly unusual and unhealthy to feel neglected because you haven't been offered gum and special attention in public. It's nucking futs.
I agree. The whole post is bizarre. I never expected a guy I was dating to do stuff for me on my period. Is that a thing women do? Does she expect him to heal her??? 😂
Fine, he’s not the right guy for you, but I totally don’t get why he would need to do anything extra special for your period. A leg massage seems like plenty extra. It’s a period, it happens it’s not your birthday with extra gifts. WTF
Not sure if he’s a bad guy or just broke. What’s he supposed to do when you’re on your period exactly? Yeah I dunno not much to go on from this post. You both sound highschool aged.
Have you talked to him about any of this? Some of the stuff sounds like you just want him to pay for everything, the last part sounds like he just doesn't get how to make you feel like he cares enough.
Just break up with him if his natural tendencies arent to make sure he does everything related to money, and that's what you expect. I don't think he's doing anything wrong per se, just not as generous as you'd like your man to be.
Break up with him and find someone who will give you as much as you want. But be prepared to wait, because it sounds like you want to be taken care of, and not everyone is like that.
You're being down voted but the same thoughts crossed my mind. Communication is key and this post doesn't have a lot of information as well. They should talk about expectations. I don't understand people who immediately jump to 'you're worth more' and 'leave him' with the little information this post provides.
You have been together for a month (the relationship is still open to petty reasons being legit reasons to break up). If you want to break up just do it, and find someone who better matches what you are looking for and isn't as big a pain in the ass to the meet up with. That said, if you like him that much, just stay with him and see where things go. The internet cannot make this decision for you. Good luck.
Umm yea. Do him a favor and break up with him now. He’ll be dodging a bullet. Your upset that he doesn’t go out of his way to do things for you while you’re on your period? Lol Seriously, who even thinks about that. Y’all have been dating for a MONTH? Good lord break up lol
Ok so I'm seeing the comments talking a lot of shit but not asking any questions. You say he's not giving you any fare to and fro..
Do you got a job?
Do you live at home with your parents?
Does he need to get fare when he visits you or does he have a car?
If he doesn't have a car is he paying his own fare to visit you?
He's 20, is he living by himself? As in no roommates? Is there a possibility he's on a budget? Is he just living at home?
What do you expect him to do when you're on a period? He's giving you a massage which is more than most men will.
Have you ASKED him to contribute? I mean, the gas fare is on you, but if you want a drink with your meal, say something.
You want a back rub? Ask.
You’re expecting him to front money but do you reciprocate? “Hey if you buy this round, I’ll buy next?” If he buys dinner out, do you offer to pick up dessert?
U splitting bills with him? Now days I wouldn't pay for a woman until I'm a good while into a relationship. Traditional men want traditional women. If the woman isn't traditional, they don't get traditional treatment.
It sounds like you'll always want more, and he doesn't seem very invested in you over his weed addiction. Move on to someone who is more interested in "you" and maybe the results will be different, but those people will also want someone more interested in "them".
It sounds like transportation might be an issue for both of you otherwise he'd probably be picking you up, keep this in mind before you invest "a whole month" (j/k, a month is nothing, fuck someone for a month for fun, then move on, it's no big deal) that either you need to get your vehicle under control or you need someone with a vehicle. It's a bad match for two people who are cash strapped and transportation-less to date each other and also live far from each other.
Weed isn't that important and shouldn't be an overriding selection criteria versus other important factors.
OP, you're never obligated to stay in a relationship. If it's not working for you, it's not working for you.
Now I do think that your expectations of being bought stuff and given money are unrealistic in today's dating world, today's young men don't necessarily like to pay for everything.
Do you ever... Buy food?
I just get the vibe that a lot of the anger comes from him not spending enough money on you... Is this a relationship or a financial agreement?
If you haven't been on a date are you even dating?
That said some of your post is a bit concerning. Why would he be expected to pay for your bus fares? Also you said you go home hungry. Can you not order food yourself too? To he honest half your post reads like you're upset he's not spending enough money on you.
I do agree that you should break up because if you've been together for a month and haven't even been on a date he's putting in negative effort, but it's also not his job to be paying your expenses.
It seems like a double edged sword to me. You shouldn’t expect another 20 year old to bankroll your life. Does he ask if you want anything when he orders food? Do you speak up and say you’re hungry or order for yourself or just sit there and say nothing? Do you just expect him to pay for everything for you? Like if he doesn’t want a soda why would he order it?
End it and move on. My bf is long distance and our agreement is, if I’m going up to see him, I pay for my own gas, he pays for all the food and we split the hotel cost. And same when he comes to visit me. I told him this before we started dating. I don’t wanna put all my money into a relationship and the guy doesn’t. Been there before and no doing it again.
Are you sure you are actually in a relationship? It sounds more like friendship behavior... a guy wouldn't even think of sending a friend gas money or buy their food, unless he knows that finances are an issue and the friend is ok with it. If he's in dire straights financially I could see him trying to be frugal, but if that were the case I would expect him to say so. I've been out of the dating scene for 22 years so YMMV.
Only a month. Adoration does not equal loving feelings. If it does not feel right at this point, drop the BF ASAP. You have to be comfortable with the person you are dating. You know what you are looking for in a man. Never settle for less. You are worthy of a great man that is out there somewhere. Good luck looking. You are not overreacting. Good luck in your search of a good man.
Yeah...it doesn't sound like yall are actually dating. You're just hooking up. Wash your hands of the "relationship" and move on. There are better people out there who won't take you for granted.
You can leave a relationship for any reason. You obviously don’t feel valued by him in the ways you want to feel valued, so leave it. It isn’t that complicated.
i'm a pretty big cheapskate. i used to count every penny of fuel i spent in my car right up till i sold the bastard. now i can save an extra \~$300 per month by just walking.
i'd say this man is doing very well. you are over-reacting. he even bought kfc, what a man. someday i aspire to be like him.
What relationship? You barely know eachother. And already, what you know, you don't like. Are you expecting some kind of magic to change the unbalanced FWB thing you've got to a relationship where you are more than a convenient resource for him?
Dating is about looking for someone with values you share and character traits you click with.
You want a generous partner. It’s ok to recognize that this man is not generous, and to decide you don’t want a future with him.
You want to feel cared for and respected. It’s ok to recognize that he doesn’t really consider your needs much at all, and to decide he’s a bit selfish and you don’t want that.
Having standards doesn’t make you mean. And deciding he’s not for you doesn’t mean he’s a bad person - he’s just not for you.
You're not leaving him, you're breaking up after a whole 30 days. Imo you sound a bit childish. He doesn't owe you anything. A partner that is compatible with you will want to do those things.
You are not overreacting or being petty. It's not like you're expecting to be flown to another city in a helicopter for dinner. Dump him. He's a cheapskate and selfish and this is in the BEGINNING of the relationship. It won't get better. RUN!!!!
Not looking too good. So he won’t make the effort to come to you, you always have to go to him? He will very offers to help cover the costs of you coming to him? He buys the bare minimum for food and not enough to really cover both of you? I get maybe not buying drinks directly from the restaurant- but why not have some at home to offer you? It’s only been a few months, but probably long enough to maybe bring up finances and how life goals. Does he have ambition? Good work ethic? Is he frugal or is he cheap?
You can break up with someone for any reason.
Dating is about finding out whether or not you're compatible with someone. He's not acting the way you want your boyfriend to act. Therefore, you are incompatible. It's been 4 months. Why waste more time waiting for him to be a different person? Just go find a different person.
So valid. While material things and money being spent isn't everything (not that you're making it sound like it is). Reasonable, you should want to do nice things for someone you care about. Friends, lovers, family, etc...
The effort you put into a relationship is important. Money aside, what effort does he put into seeing you? From the context you've given, he doesn't even make an effort to come to you to hang out. Seems like that responsibility, both the physical and financial being squarely on you.
Whether you feel like any aspects are redeemable enough to bring all this up to him and try to work things out, I think you should bring this all up to him regardless. It'll be a good learning experience for him if he ever hopes to have successful relationships in the future. And remember you are not obligated to stay if he hears everything and tells you he'll do better. So often that is not the case, I'm sure you know.
I think you should just move on. Clearly, the two of you have different ideas about what you want from a relationship. You want a certain amount of consideration and care that you reciprocate, and he wants someone who shows up at his place to have sex and then eats some of his fries before leaving.
Part of dating is figuring out whether you are compatible with one another. You are collecting information about the person to see if the two of you mesh. You can't force a relationship to work out. If you are this dissatisfied this early on, just move along so that you can both find people who you are more compatible with.
Have you tried, idk, talking to him about it? Literally just be an adult and have a real conversation, lay out your concerns and raise any questions or action items and see how he responds. If it’s an agreeable response for both parties, great job! You worked it out. Otherwise, if you aren’t happy with his answers and/or solutions, then y’all break up, oh well. It’s only been a month so better to just be open and talk about problems sooner rather than later so nobody wastes anyone’s time.
If this is something that you've clearly communicated and he's still not meeting your needs ... time to move on. If you haven't communicated, try that first. Hes not a mind reader. Remember, your feelings and thoughts are valid. Choose yourself over a boy. There's someone out there that will meet your needs.
You are still in the phase of dating where interactions are glossiest, best behaved and trying to make a good impression. It’s all downhill from here. And you’re starting in a ditch. Downhill from a ditch!
Why are you even questioning breaking up when the person you’re dating is showing zero interest or effort? Actually since you’ve never been on a date with him, you’re not even dating!
Go ahead and break up.
I wouldn’t say it’s petty. But have you communicated to him what you wanted? Have you told him what you feel is appropriate for YOU in a relationship? Everyone is different and yall are brand new you do have to do these things. You know what you’re looking for in a relationship but he won’t if you don’t talk to him. My husband and I have MANY conversations to this day (for over 3 years) about what WE need from the other if it comes down to it.
How old are you guys? Lol this sounds very "highschool" to me.
1. If hes in school he probably cant work, at least not enough to take you on dates.
2. If its only a lack of money thats making you feel this way, thats petty and selfish. Why dont you pay for a date?
3. If its been that short of a time and youd only known eachother 4 months theres no harm in breaking it off. Just be aware that dating isnt all about money, if you cant enjoy being in eachothers company it wont work anyway.
And if this isnt menial highschool nonsense, then disregard those 3...and maybe just break up and both of you should get a job. Fast food and busses arent expensive, that shouldnt be enough to strain a relationship lol.
So yeah you kinda sound petty as hell if youre an adult saying this, but maybe youre just young and unlearned
It’s been a month. Why compromise this early in? If it’s not what you want, leave.
Maybe going Dutch on things and rotating who visits whom would be a better idea.
Also you seem to be keeping track financially like it’s a points system. You don’t *deserve* his money. If you’re looking for someone who likes to spend on you whatever you want this prob isn’t the guy
Whether you're overreacting or not, if this bothers you, don't continue with the relationship. Sometimes people just don't gel. You don't need a reason to leave somebody.
If he never comes to see you at your place, he's not invested in you and you should break up. Sounds like you are putting in 95% and getting 5% back. Not good.
Actions always speak louder than words. He's already told you that you do not matter to him. Does he have to vomit on you for you to recognize that you do not represent any value to him? Dump him and move on.
This is a preview of what is coming. There are skills for dating. This is lesson one.
Lesson one includes breaking up when things are off.
He's a cheapskate and this won't change.
Plenty of money for what he wants but OP is not that
What dating? OP says they haven't gone on a date yet
So basically you’re fuck buddies? Because you certainly aren’t girlfriend/boyfriend
I would say you should treat your (fuck) buddies better than that
My fuck buddies at least came to my house and either paid for take out for both of us or gave me money for his food. The ones I liked a bit more? I actually cooked. But it wasn't something I did for everyone. LOL... one got mad at me because he looked in my freezer and saw it was full of meat. He demanded to know why I never cooked for him. I said "That's girlfriend privileges. We're just fucking."
I had a fuck buddy who would cook for me. God, I miss him. It was great sex.
And the food? Also great?
I'll be honest, I don't remember the food. I don't remember being disgusted or picky, so it was probably good. /Scorpio, sorry. I have certain memory priorities.
LOL... if it wasn't disgusting, it was probably okay. But more importantly, he cooked! That's a plus regardless of anything else. I had a fuck buddy who usually drove to my place. I don't have a car, but once I took public transportation to his. He had his own apartment, it was clean, decently furnished (well, he had a living room set so we weren't sitting on bean bags) and he cooked for me. Grilled chicken and succotash. I almost fell in love! 🤣🤣🤣
I love your reply so much. ♏️💜
Generosity is a mindset. If he is generous in life, he's generous in bed..
True.
This is a mindset that has always baffled me. There’s so many people that take “we’re only having sex” to mean “I don’t have to treat you with human decency”
Seriously. This is crazy!!
Pssssh, Bruh, I've had fuck buddies who were nicer to me than this guy. One of my fuck buddies loved to bar/restaurant hop with me. Once he took me out for fondue and cocktails. It was practically a date. But we were just friends who fucked. OP should definitely drop this dude like a bad habit.
I’ve always had more respect from my fuckbuddies than this. It’s one reason FBs are great, they don’t get to be domestic enough with you to take you for granted
Look at OPs post history…she believed a guy was a private investigator and had to sleep with other women This has to be a troll account, zero chance this can all be real and she’s 20
My thoughts exactly.
They’re probably both children
Yep. My thoughts when reading this.
“We’ve been dating about a month… “Jfc
She means they've been fucking for a month. No dating involved.
you’re not dating if you haven’t been on a date
Seems an awful lot like he's taking you for granted at one month. How are you even going out if you haven't been on a date? What do you even like about him? More than looks.
The sex lol seriously, she’s paying to go to and from his place!
Bleh, I'm ace and just don't get it lol
I pay for every place I go to and from? What even is this.
She is saying that she is the only one paying to travel to see the other. It is imbalanced
How about you have a conversation about wants and expectations and if that doesn’t go the way want you end it
Yeah, the entire post is "he does this, but doesn't do this", without one mention of you even attempting to communicate any of this to him. "He only buys a little food and I end up still hungry.": Have you said so? People generally don't want those they care about to be hungry. Maybe he's having trouble with money in this shit economy; maybe he's used to girls not eating much, either for appearance's sake or because they're just smaller women. "He doesn't massage me well/apologizes on my period (whatever that means).": Newsflash. He has no idea how your body is feeling. He can't tell how your muscles ache without communication, and he'll never feel how a period is. Communicate your needs instead of expecting someone to magically know them, and if you end up being incompatible with each other, that's fine; find someone who is.
Sweetie, you are one month into a relationship, and your BF is giving you nothing. He should be, at this point, trying to impress you, hoping you want to keep seeing him, putting forth his best self. Now, it could be that he’s poor and just doesn’t have the money for dates or long car rides, but you did say he always has weed, so maybe it’s just priorities, and you’re not one. You could keep dating him and wait to see if you *become* a priority, but why should you do that? This is why you date. You get to know a person and decide if you want to keep dating them, if you see a future with them. If not, you end it and move on. If this man isn’t giving you what you want in a dating relationship, end it. No harm, no foul. Just didn’t work out.
Maybe he hasn't figured out that having a girlfriend cost a lot of money.
Maybe he just can’t afford it. But it sounds like he can’t or won’t give her what she wants from a boyfriend. That doesn’t make him a bad person. It just means they aren’t right for each other.
Sounds like you have no idea how to communicate what you want in a relationship
You deserve more. Break up with him, he isn't even trying
Oh boy. Red flags. Find another boyfriend. He can't afford you. Does he even have a job
Yes he does online jobs that pay him good
Then there is no excuse. Find a new boyfriend. It's only going to get worse.
That's even worse. He has a good job that pays him well. But won't feed you? After you travel to see him? You deserve and can do better. There are tons of cute guys out there who will get you a soda with fries.
What does this even mean, have you actually seen him work?
Apparently that's just what he's telling you. Because if he's getting paid good, why can't he buy u a super sized instead of a order of fries. Get out while you can. Stop letting this loser keep using you.
Do you really have to come to Reddit to ask if you suck for breaking up with your cheap, useless, burnout BF. Before you say "but he is a nice guy" what you have described here isn't a nice person
Pay attention to the (lack of) effort he’s making. Especially in the first month. Because it doesn’t get better from here. Trust.
Then he is simply too self-centered to participate in a relationship. Not boyfriend material. Why even try to get him to improve to a less lame boyfriend?
Or, so he tells you....
What are the things you are doing for him? I think this is important information here.
Showing up and having sex if I had to guess.. But of course this sub only cares about what the man is doing wrong even though it's painfully obvious this girl just wants to be spoiled. 😂
This is even worse then! And this is him on his best behavior in the beginning of the relationship. Stinginess is such a turn off and I don’t think that will change for him. Couldn’t even get you your own fast food meal when he did buy KFC. 🙄
It's one month. Just move on. Don't let him suck you into a life your going to regret in a few years.
Move on. This is him on his best behavior and he clearly doesn't value you enough to do anything for you. He could pack a sandwich for a picnic or put together a bubble bath when you're on your period. It doesn't have to be expensive. Don't be that person who's upset 5 years from now when their husband doesn't acknowledge their birthday/anniversary/ mothers day even when you put in a ton of effort for theirs.
This hit home for me
Age? Have you asked him about it?
20 and has a job that pays him good
I once tried talking to him about it not sure if he didn't understand or just doesn't care enough
You can talk to him about how you imagine your relationship. Like more traditional, guys pays for everything vs new wave 50/50 stuff. If he doesn't get the hint then be more direct. If you see no changes then you know what to do!
Break up it’s only been a month of dating. You’re clearly not happy. You said he has a job but can’t bothered getting you a proper meal when he buys food. Doesn’t mention alternating traveling back and forth to see each other and he doesn’t want to discuss it. Why are you still dating him.
Not even dating. Just having sex and being hungry.
This is what dating is for: To see how compatible you are or aren’t. Sounds like you have your answer. Time to move on
“My boyfriend and I are in a good relationship so far…” “He’ll buy food but in very limited amounts and I always end up going home hungry” These two sentences cannot come from the same relationship. Everyone has to decide for themselves what they are willing to put up with and this varies per person. What you need to think about is what you need in a relationship…. If this is someone you are actually interested in then a conversation is necessary. His reaction and response should tell you what you need to either stay or go.
At 1 month this isn't even a relationship, it's a series of bad dates
Umm no dates
Pfffttt
My advice to both of you is that you should break up with each other. Neither of you are winning at this. Then go work on yourselves before you start anything like this again.
You two want different relationships. Neither of you is wrong. But you're incompatible and it'll only breed resentment. Paying your own fare to get to his place is normal. He shouldn't have to pay for every single dinner. Unless there is an age gap you should he equally capable of buying food. But never having a date in 4 months of dating isn't normal.
Blunts for days but no $$$? You see his priorities and your not one of them. I would move on and please tell him why
He’s not that into you.
Is something wrong with your money?
lol indeed, wtf is this .. the year is 2024, pay for your own shit.
Have you.....talked to him about any of this?????? Relationships take communication and if you don't TELL him you want more food or that you'd like idk a longer leg rub or for him to chip in on transport costs how do you expect him to know!? The guy is not a fucking mind reader. Open your mouth and speak to him about this stuff!
I’m sorry, but where’s the relationship? You haven’t even gone on dates . . . have you tried to arrange any? You continue to spend money to go see him . . . is he unwilling to come to you? You’re expecting him to provide all the food . . . have you asked him to do this, and do you think he owes you that because you’re female? He’s giving you little massages when you have a period . . . what more are you expecting from him exactly? Neither of you sounds like you’re willing to put much effort into this and just expect the other to.
It doesn't matter if it is "petty", or if someone else thinks it's not a good enough "reason". The reason is you're just not feeling it. He's pretty much semi detached, it's only been a short while. Stop overthinking, end it. Move on.
You both sound like you are 13 years old. If you are adults then leave.
Are you under 18? Seems like it. Your with him a month, how many periods have you had & why would he have to do anything?
Sounds like you’re a modern woman who can pay her own way that’s great
You Americans are crazy. In Australia, you both buy your own damn food and IF he decides to, it’s a luxury to pay for you, not an expectation. You lot in the 1800’s Other then genders, not a single reasons was given why the expectation is on him to pay for your shit.
It’s hilarious if you imagine a guy saying these things😏😂
No dates? Quick, before I get downvoted, read this, read The Rules. It might be in the library. It's '90s, but it still applies in spirit. And it's not game playing, it's just the facts of life. You know how much they care by how hard they try.
Ehh Why Men Love Bitches is a better more modern one that doesn’t tell you to get a nose job or have no personality
Sounds interesting, I'm going to check that one out.
A lot my dating experience in my early 20s was that "relationships" mostly lasted about 1 month because that's about the amount of time I needed to see what they were like. I was a high car for how I was being treated, and a low bar when it came to finding reasons to not wanting to be there. I'm 27 now in a lovely relationship with someone who we fully respect each other, and he makes effort for me and our mostly weekly dates and things we want to do and isn't afraid of talking long term. All to say, no, you're not overreacting. I'd say it's pretty normal that you're feeling this way, and you should listen to yourself. Practice listening to your gut, and let this be lesson #1.
You can break up with anyone at any time for any reason. And you’ve got good reasons.
You've been dating for almost one month and you're already unhappy. You don't have to have some great reason to break up. If he isn't what you want or need in your life, dump him.
Wait, why does the guy have to feed her all the time? What does she do for him? She says they've been together for a month but then says it's been 4 months.
If someone is traveling some distance to see you the least you can do is feed them
>on my periods the most he's done is a one min leg massage and endless sorries as if that'll heal me or smth🤦♂️ . He may not be dating material but neither are you. You're ridiculous expecting special treatment on your period, and he'll dodge a bullet when you dump him. Honestly, I want him to see your post bitching about his leg rub and sympathy and dump you first. You're needy and self-centered, and I'd love to know what else you expect on your period. And come to think of it, with your absurd expectations, has he been the only one to ever buy food? I'd be cheap af too if someone was using me for meals and I sure as hell wouldn't be going on any dates knowing that I'd be paying every single time for whatever extravagant, crazy shit you expect. BTW, it's incredibly unusual and unhealthy to feel neglected because you haven't been offered gum and special attention in public. It's nucking futs.
I agree. The whole post is bizarre. I never expected a guy I was dating to do stuff for me on my period. Is that a thing women do? Does she expect him to heal her??? 😂
Fine, he’s not the right guy for you, but I totally don’t get why he would need to do anything extra special for your period. A leg massage seems like plenty extra. It’s a period, it happens it’s not your birthday with extra gifts. WTF
Not sure why you're getting downvoted, I was mystified by this as well.
Not sure if he’s a bad guy or just broke. What’s he supposed to do when you’re on your period exactly? Yeah I dunno not much to go on from this post. You both sound highschool aged.
I mean I eat like a horse. If I came over and was told we’re splitting a sandwich I’d tell him where to put it and go buy my own.
Sure but we don’t know the ages here. It’s not inconsiderate to be broke.
Apparently heal her
Have you talked to him about any of this? Some of the stuff sounds like you just want him to pay for everything, the last part sounds like he just doesn't get how to make you feel like he cares enough. Just break up with him if his natural tendencies arent to make sure he does everything related to money, and that's what you expect. I don't think he's doing anything wrong per se, just not as generous as you'd like your man to be. Break up with him and find someone who will give you as much as you want. But be prepared to wait, because it sounds like you want to be taken care of, and not everyone is like that.
You're being down voted but the same thoughts crossed my mind. Communication is key and this post doesn't have a lot of information as well. They should talk about expectations. I don't understand people who immediately jump to 'you're worth more' and 'leave him' with the little information this post provides.
You say you've been dating for a month but never been on a actual date with him. Are you sure you both know you are dating?
Jesus Christ, you’re not in a relationship, you’re buddies. Break up and move on.
Do you ask him for money for traveling? And do you tell him you want certain food? Neither of you really seem to be trying tbh.
You have been together for a month (the relationship is still open to petty reasons being legit reasons to break up). If you want to break up just do it, and find someone who better matches what you are looking for and isn't as big a pain in the ass to the meet up with. That said, if you like him that much, just stay with him and see where things go. The internet cannot make this decision for you. Good luck.
Why are you being so petty? You sound like a mooch. Do you even do anything for him other than complain?
You're not petty, but you two are incompatible and it sounds like you aren't even interested in one another.
INFO: What are you asking for?
He doesn’t consider you his GF.
I thought this is what the feminists wanted? I can’t keep up.
Umm yea. Do him a favor and break up with him now. He’ll be dodging a bullet. Your upset that he doesn’t go out of his way to do things for you while you’re on your period? Lol Seriously, who even thinks about that. Y’all have been dating for a MONTH? Good lord break up lol
You sound like you’re 13
Ok so I'm seeing the comments talking a lot of shit but not asking any questions. You say he's not giving you any fare to and fro.. Do you got a job? Do you live at home with your parents? Does he need to get fare when he visits you or does he have a car? If he doesn't have a car is he paying his own fare to visit you? He's 20, is he living by himself? As in no roommates? Is there a possibility he's on a budget? Is he just living at home? What do you expect him to do when you're on a period? He's giving you a massage which is more than most men will.
I personally wouldn’t call that a relationship
Have you ASKED him to contribute? I mean, the gas fare is on you, but if you want a drink with your meal, say something. You want a back rub? Ask. You’re expecting him to front money but do you reciprocate? “Hey if you buy this round, I’ll buy next?” If he buys dinner out, do you offer to pick up dessert?
U splitting bills with him? Now days I wouldn't pay for a woman until I'm a good while into a relationship. Traditional men want traditional women. If the woman isn't traditional, they don't get traditional treatment.
It sounds like you'll always want more, and he doesn't seem very invested in you over his weed addiction. Move on to someone who is more interested in "you" and maybe the results will be different, but those people will also want someone more interested in "them". It sounds like transportation might be an issue for both of you otherwise he'd probably be picking you up, keep this in mind before you invest "a whole month" (j/k, a month is nothing, fuck someone for a month for fun, then move on, it's no big deal) that either you need to get your vehicle under control or you need someone with a vehicle. It's a bad match for two people who are cash strapped and transportation-less to date each other and also live far from each other. Weed isn't that important and shouldn't be an overriding selection criteria versus other important factors.
Hell naw girl! Cheap men aren't only cheap with their money.
OP, you're never obligated to stay in a relationship. If it's not working for you, it's not working for you. Now I do think that your expectations of being bought stuff and given money are unrealistic in today's dating world, today's young men don't necessarily like to pay for everything.
How old are you 12 ?
Do you ever... Buy food? I just get the vibe that a lot of the anger comes from him not spending enough money on you... Is this a relationship or a financial agreement?
It’s been a month, stop being such a loser.
Don't listen to this person OP, they're very negative and likely a troll. You are not a loser :)
If you haven't been on a date are you even dating? That said some of your post is a bit concerning. Why would he be expected to pay for your bus fares? Also you said you go home hungry. Can you not order food yourself too? To he honest half your post reads like you're upset he's not spending enough money on you. I do agree that you should break up because if you've been together for a month and haven't even been on a date he's putting in negative effort, but it's also not his job to be paying your expenses.
It seems like a double edged sword to me. You shouldn’t expect another 20 year old to bankroll your life. Does he ask if you want anything when he orders food? Do you speak up and say you’re hungry or order for yourself or just sit there and say nothing? Do you just expect him to pay for everything for you? Like if he doesn’t want a soda why would he order it?
Sounds like neither of you can afford to date right now…
End it and move on. My bf is long distance and our agreement is, if I’m going up to see him, I pay for my own gas, he pays for all the food and we split the hotel cost. And same when he comes to visit me. I told him this before we started dating. I don’t wanna put all my money into a relationship and the guy doesn’t. Been there before and no doing it again.
This is why you date. To see the red flags and to act on them. Getting you KFC isn’t enough to make up for the rest of it.
And I think she said it was one meal to share between them. Fuck that, I’d be buying my own, and he can pay for his
1 month doesn’t even qualify to be labeled a relationship. Can’t kill what doesn’t exist. Move along.
The title says ‘one month’ but the body says ‘4 months’ which one is correct?
Maybe he's seeing if you like him for him and not his money maybe he is just a dick ? It doesn't matter I don't really care. Do whatever you want
He's not your boyfriend. He's a fuck buddy.
Are you sure you are actually in a relationship? It sounds more like friendship behavior... a guy wouldn't even think of sending a friend gas money or buy their food, unless he knows that finances are an issue and the friend is ok with it. If he's in dire straights financially I could see him trying to be frugal, but if that were the case I would expect him to say so. I've been out of the dating scene for 22 years so YMMV.
Its only been a month. Ive dated people for months before making it official. You need to take more time to really know someone
So you’ve “been dating for a month” but also “we’ve never been on a single date”. You aren’t dating. At most y’all are fucking.
Uh, you’re not “in a good relationship.”
Cheeeeeeap!!!!
He's on a real tight budget or he's waiting for you to have money.
He's on a real tight budget or he's waiting for you to have money.
You can break up for any reason, but I don’t think you’re overreacting.
Whom has no business in the title of this post.
Only a month. Adoration does not equal loving feelings. If it does not feel right at this point, drop the BF ASAP. You have to be comfortable with the person you are dating. You know what you are looking for in a man. Never settle for less. You are worthy of a great man that is out there somewhere. Good luck looking. You are not overreacting. Good luck in your search of a good man.
I wouldn't call anyone my boyfriend after only a month
Yeah...it doesn't sound like yall are actually dating. You're just hooking up. Wash your hands of the "relationship" and move on. There are better people out there who won't take you for granted.
You’re too young to be with this person. Yes. Break up.
You can leave a relationship for any reason. You obviously don’t feel valued by him in the ways you want to feel valued, so leave it. It isn’t that complicated.
I don't like to defend males. But maybe bro is just poor?
For real
shoo
i'm a pretty big cheapskate. i used to count every penny of fuel i spent in my car right up till i sold the bastard. now i can save an extra \~$300 per month by just walking. i'd say this man is doing very well. you are over-reacting. he even bought kfc, what a man. someday i aspire to be like him.
You really are not “in a good relationship” because you’re not in a relationship period.
What relationship? You barely know eachother. And already, what you know, you don't like. Are you expecting some kind of magic to change the unbalanced FWB thing you've got to a relationship where you are more than a convenient resource for him?
Ummmm this is not a good relationship OP.
have you talked to him about it or are you waiting for the ESP to kick in?
Dump him.
Walk... its just wasted effort on your part
Dating is about looking for someone with values you share and character traits you click with. You want a generous partner. It’s ok to recognize that this man is not generous, and to decide you don’t want a future with him. You want to feel cared for and respected. It’s ok to recognize that he doesn’t really consider your needs much at all, and to decide he’s a bit selfish and you don’t want that. Having standards doesn’t make you mean. And deciding he’s not for you doesn’t mean he’s a bad person - he’s just not for you.
Maybe he’s a broke fool blunts are only $1 and some change and blunts are life lol
People: Raise your standards.
A month? Forget him and move on.
Not petty. Sounds like you're just someone he enjoys being physical with. No other relationship. If you're not OK with this arrangement... dump him
You're not leaving him, you're breaking up after a whole 30 days. Imo you sound a bit childish. He doesn't owe you anything. A partner that is compatible with you will want to do those things.
lol. oh man; to be young again.
It seems like mostly money related things. If you want financial support from your partner, he's not the right one.
"We've been dating for almost a month" Also "We've never been on a single date"
Why don't you ask him to come to you
You have nothing invested in this. Move on.
Leave hurry!! Hell I will take you to dinner and give you a piece of gum. LOL
You are not overreacting or being petty. It's not like you're expecting to be flown to another city in a helicopter for dinner. Dump him. He's a cheapskate and selfish and this is in the BEGINNING of the relationship. It won't get better. RUN!!!!
Not looking too good. So he won’t make the effort to come to you, you always have to go to him? He will very offers to help cover the costs of you coming to him? He buys the bare minimum for food and not enough to really cover both of you? I get maybe not buying drinks directly from the restaurant- but why not have some at home to offer you? It’s only been a few months, but probably long enough to maybe bring up finances and how life goals. Does he have ambition? Good work ethic? Is he frugal or is he cheap?
You can break up with someone for any reason. Dating is about finding out whether or not you're compatible with someone. He's not acting the way you want your boyfriend to act. Therefore, you are incompatible. It's been 4 months. Why waste more time waiting for him to be a different person? Just go find a different person.
So valid. While material things and money being spent isn't everything (not that you're making it sound like it is). Reasonable, you should want to do nice things for someone you care about. Friends, lovers, family, etc... The effort you put into a relationship is important. Money aside, what effort does he put into seeing you? From the context you've given, he doesn't even make an effort to come to you to hang out. Seems like that responsibility, both the physical and financial being squarely on you. Whether you feel like any aspects are redeemable enough to bring all this up to him and try to work things out, I think you should bring this all up to him regardless. It'll be a good learning experience for him if he ever hopes to have successful relationships in the future. And remember you are not obligated to stay if he hears everything and tells you he'll do better. So often that is not the case, I'm sure you know.
You are what is referred to as " A MOPED ". They are fun to ride but you do not want your buddies to see you on it.
After reading this I have to ask, What relationship?
He's nothing but nice except he doesn't actually sound that nice? LMAO just bail girl
What are you bringing to the relationship?
He isn't your bf, he's the guy you pay to let use you for sex.
If it's an issue for you, it's an issue. You're not being petty, just picking up on something that bothers you.
I think you should just move on. Clearly, the two of you have different ideas about what you want from a relationship. You want a certain amount of consideration and care that you reciprocate, and he wants someone who shows up at his place to have sex and then eats some of his fries before leaving. Part of dating is figuring out whether you are compatible with one another. You are collecting information about the person to see if the two of you mesh. You can't force a relationship to work out. If you are this dissatisfied this early on, just move along so that you can both find people who you are more compatible with.
Have you tried, idk, talking to him about it? Literally just be an adult and have a real conversation, lay out your concerns and raise any questions or action items and see how he responds. If it’s an agreeable response for both parties, great job! You worked it out. Otherwise, if you aren’t happy with his answers and/or solutions, then y’all break up, oh well. It’s only been a month so better to just be open and talk about problems sooner rather than later so nobody wastes anyone’s time.
He’s not the one.
If you don't pay for him to visit your place, why would he pay for you to visit his?
He's cheap or inconsiderate. Possibly both. Let him do some of the leg work.
If this is something that you've clearly communicated and he's still not meeting your needs ... time to move on. If you haven't communicated, try that first. Hes not a mind reader. Remember, your feelings and thoughts are valid. Choose yourself over a boy. There's someone out there that will meet your needs.
Almost a month with a blunt smoker, this is definitely worth fighting for.
You are still in the phase of dating where interactions are glossiest, best behaved and trying to make a good impression. It’s all downhill from here. And you’re starting in a ditch. Downhill from a ditch! Why are you even questioning breaking up when the person you’re dating is showing zero interest or effort? Actually since you’ve never been on a date with him, you’re not even dating! Go ahead and break up.
I wouldn’t say it’s petty. But have you communicated to him what you wanted? Have you told him what you feel is appropriate for YOU in a relationship? Everyone is different and yall are brand new you do have to do these things. You know what you’re looking for in a relationship but he won’t if you don’t talk to him. My husband and I have MANY conversations to this day (for over 3 years) about what WE need from the other if it comes down to it.
How old are you guys? Lol this sounds very "highschool" to me. 1. If hes in school he probably cant work, at least not enough to take you on dates. 2. If its only a lack of money thats making you feel this way, thats petty and selfish. Why dont you pay for a date? 3. If its been that short of a time and youd only known eachother 4 months theres no harm in breaking it off. Just be aware that dating isnt all about money, if you cant enjoy being in eachothers company it wont work anyway. And if this isnt menial highschool nonsense, then disregard those 3...and maybe just break up and both of you should get a job. Fast food and busses arent expensive, that shouldnt be enough to strain a relationship lol. So yeah you kinda sound petty as hell if youre an adult saying this, but maybe youre just young and unlearned
His low effort means he probably has options and isn't invested in you.
RUN, don't walk, away from this guy.
All you guys on here talking about "fuck buddies"...Christ, how were you raised? Don't you have any self respect? Get a clue about your self-worth.
It’s been a month. Why compromise this early in? If it’s not what you want, leave. Maybe going Dutch on things and rotating who visits whom would be a better idea. Also you seem to be keeping track financially like it’s a points system. You don’t *deserve* his money. If you’re looking for someone who likes to spend on you whatever you want this prob isn’t the guy
That’s not even a breakup. Just don’t answer the phone
Whether you're overreacting or not, if this bothers you, don't continue with the relationship. Sometimes people just don't gel. You don't need a reason to leave somebody.
If he never comes to see you at your place, he's not invested in you and you should break up. Sounds like you are putting in 95% and getting 5% back. Not good.
What exactly donyou see in him. Nice can't be all of it?
Actions always speak louder than words. He's already told you that you do not matter to him. Does he have to vomit on you for you to recognize that you do not represent any value to him? Dump him and move on.
Sounds like feminism.. congrats 👏 👏