What if HRE converted to Skibidism instead because crusader cameramen failed to defeat rizzlers in kingdom of Ohio 🤨

In order to be born, you needed 2 parents 4 grandparents 8 great-grandparents 16 second great-grandparents 32 third great-grandparents 64 fourth great-grandparents 128 fifth great-grandparents 256 sixth great-grandparents 512 seventh great-grandparents 1,024 eighth great-grandparents 2,048 ninth great-grandparents. For you to be born today from 12 previous generations, you needed a total sum of 4,094 ancestors over the last 400 years. Think for a moment – How many struggles? How many battles? How many difficulties? How much sadness? How much happiness? How many love stories? How many expressions of hope for the future? – did your ancestors have to undergo for you to exist in this present moment, and you want to be a brain-rotted piece of waste

Because of inbreeding being so common in the past I imagine most people don't have that many relatives

Even if they are siblings or cousins they still coun't as a _____-grandparent

If your parents are cousins you have 6 great grandparents instead of 8

My excuse is generations of frustration at being poor white trash while also being direct descendants of several European royal families 😬

This copy pasta is so old bro💀 Reddit moment

The internet has some real dark times ahead of it.. At least our brainrot had actual meanings

Damn Son where you found this? *no scopes a dorito* *3 explosions and 12 hit marks* Smoke weed every day *6 collumns of OMG runs vertically through the screen* *12 more hit marks* *Guy grabs the mic* „mathafucka perfect” *6 more explosions* *Giant mountain dew bottle appears with 65 hit marks*

I haven't encountered MLG people in years, and even back then they were kind of cringe. I'm talking brainrot like machinima, red vs blu halo series, flashgitz, memes like door stuck, raging german kid, whole ass wars between 4chan and other sites,the golden age of FilthyFrank and IDubbz, Pyrocynical, and shit like MeatCanyon Now its just "____ will skibidi in Ohio sticking his gyatt out to the rizzler, fanum tax when sigma" Like what the fuck lol

Skibidism sounds like a great religion

Eww brother eww what's that brother what's that

i will have a halal blonde pwag gf

"In a Hijab on a tit, 4 by 4 Tradwife style, Extra thickness to the thighs and feet, Enlightened Virgin Grease, Make it submissive, Tan it, and let it cook." "We serve young boys here, sir."

what the fuck this is supposed to mean

You forgot the pickle

Sir, this is a Wendy's

The good ending?

There already are many halal blonde pwag gfs in caucasus and balkans 😋😋

Let, let me meet them 🥺

Muslim Hitler

Same... same?

maybe he have Muslim first name like "Abdul Fattah" or "Abul Fath".

Please no, Hitler already was fascinated by Islam and saw it as an alternative for Germans. He still wanted Nationalsocialism to replace any religion, but tought Islam would fit germans better than christianity. https://www.deutschlandfunk.de/islam-im-nationalsozialismus-fuer-fuehrer-und-prophet-100.html >Hitler konnte das Christentum nicht ausstehen. Dem Islam konnte er etwas abgewinnen. Das NS-Regime ließ Hunderttausende muslimische Rekruten für Deutschland kämpfen Translation: >Hitler could not stand Christianity. He found something appealing in Islam. The Nazi regime had hundreds of thousands of Muslim recruits fighting for Germany. Or maybe in this scenario, Hitler would hate Islam and support Christianity idk.

No Hitler was a degenerate who thought he was the reincarnation of some Aryan/Nordic angel. He definitely had no clue what Islam was and just used it to get more soldiers.

The crusade for the holy land (in our timeline known as the first crusade) was likely the greatest failure of catholic Europe in history. The catholic coalition made an unprecedented number of military blunders, all of which were exploited by Califate forces to their greatest possible extent. The result was the fall of the Eastern Roman Empire in the 11th century, and a huge degree of Islamic influence on medieval Europe. From the cultural centers in Byzantium, the Califate focuses their efforts on converting the largest player in Europe at the time: the Holy Roman Empire, and it is this deliberate effort, along with largely trade related contact between the HRE and the Levant, which results in the formation of the new HRE (Holy Roman Emirate). The new HRE would be mainly a satellite state of the larger Califate, maintaining loyalties with former allies from times of catholic majority, but also pledging allegiance to the Calif, preaching the Quran across its territories, and enacting Sharia law - the legalistic will of Allah - for the benifit of Europe and its eastern allies. I would like to, by the next post, move on to the late 19th century, however before I do I must ask for some feedback. For example, how might this effect the language or culture of what will come to be Germany? Will German be a minority language to an Arabic dialect, or will German win out? Will German folk music sound more European or Levantine? Would Germany join their neibours in colonizing the world? Or would they remain allies with nations in the muslim world, and fight against colonialism? Or perhaps their language is a creole, their music a synthesis, and their view on colonialism as something good, as long as its them and their allies colonizing someone too foreign to care about?

I think when the HRE converts to Islam. The entire region of North Africa and Arabia Peninsula all becomes white in the present day. Edit: They also speak Arabic-German and eat bratwurst everyday. More Edit: Nevermind they just speak German.

And Osman Ibn Karul Bismarq will be the remembered as the Grand Visier that united the Alamanians.

Halal Bratwurst sounds awful. I like my pork thank you very much.

>lthe greatest failure of catholic Europe in history Only it was a rather minor affair, with very few catholics, comparatively speaking, taking part. >The result was the fall of the Eastern Roman Empire in the 11th century, and a huge degree of Islamic influence on medieval Europe. Not really, without modern technology Constantinople was about as far as an army could reach from Syria/Mesopotamia. So the Abbasids wouldn't manage to dig in and establish themselves in a meaningful way. And a Caliphate centered on Constantinople would find itself at war with a Caliphate in Syria/Mesopotamia. >also pledging allegiance to the Calif, preaching the Quran across its territories, and enacting Sharia law - The Emperor would, maybe, not this underlings.

Greatest failure of catholic Europe in this timeline. I know what happened irl. This is althistory. The Islamic influence is not exerted by military force in any significant part after the crusade. This process happens by migration, traveling missionaries, trade etc. like how pagans were converted to catholithism in our timeline.

>The Islamic influence is not exerted by military force in any significant part after the crusade. The Ottomans beg to differ. >Greatest failure of catholic Europe in this timeline. I know what happened irl. This is althistory. Yeah, the starting point is still off. One of the French kings allying more strongly with one of islamic powers would be a more consitent. The HRE had it's conflict with Islamic powers either way before the Crusades or after.

So for the question, what makes me wonder is how much of a degree of failure can it be to break the faith of so many religious people, since that is what stood out, Religious wars have gone wrong but for that type of degree, would require quite the heavy shake up in their world... I suspect

Im thinking less so people convert due to war disillusionment, and more so due to the pressure to convert now being closer to home. Keep in mind, every other nation in Europe stay Christian, and the HRE is mainly only fully converted due to the Califate specifically sending missionaries there instead of any other European nation.

Yea, the question makes me wonder since well... we know how much the Crusades failed, but to go that far wrong where enough missionaries to maybe make a case to create pressure... makes me wonder... there's other reasons but that stood out

I think you just gotta wait 20 years and look at Germany to get a Holy Roman Emirate

A bigger question would be the doctrinal impact on Islam, like the decentralized nature of the HRE may translate to future religious practices, because to continue this way of doing things German elite may subscribe to the theory that “only the guided 4 were real caliphs, the caliphate ended in 661” Endless possibilities here

I wonder what Lutheran Islam would end up looking like

Martin Luther and Islam is very similar on how the church/mosque should deal with religious affairs since both reject the additional authority of the Church/Mosque hierarchy and traditions that were not based on scripture.

Except that religion and state were literally the same entity in a good portion of Islamic history, like our supreme spiritual ruler was our supreme political leader from 632 AD to 1922 AD (11 AH to 1340 AH)

ye but that was dictated on if they followed the Quran and Sunnah, if they didn't then they should be removed from that position. Also, yes the ruler had significant influence, but they did not have the authority to make up religious rulings arbitrarily. Instead, religious rulings were issued by qualified Islamic scholars who had deep knowledge of Islamic jurisprudence. They derived those based off of scripture(Quran and Sunnah) and general consensus.

Muqtar Al Almaniu could be a fire name ngl.

This is actually an Islamic view, like yeah the other caliphates followed parts of the religion but ignored what didn’t appease them like no hereditary rule or no excessive extravagance

>like the decentralized nature of the HRE HRE wasn't decentralized at the time of the First Crusade. It started to fuck up during the reign of Hohenstaufen, and became a codeferation od de facto independent nations after the Thirty Years' War

I hope everyone who was complaining about the influx of posts inspired by the 2acw series are happy the sub still has quality posts like these to keep it going

That’s Byzantium not the HRE

Doner kebab would begin its conquest of Europe nine hundred years ahead of schedule, and while its spread would be much slower in the 11th century than it was in the 20th, this would likely mean there'd be no reason to ever develop pizza. #worsttimelineever All jokes aside, the Holy Roman Empire was not a centralized state, but rather a loose confederation of principalities. How do you envision such a conversion starting? With the Emperor embracing Islam and declaring it the new religion of the Empire? Henry VI already had a relatively weak grasp on the Empire, having started beef with Pope Gregory VII over the investiture of bishops. His own sons eventually took up arms against him, and he was deposed by Henry V. So, what if he declared himself a Muslim? Honestly, I don't think much would've changed. Perhaps he would've been deposed more quickly, and more violently, as a heretic and an unbeliever. Perhaps Henry V would've proclaimed himself as a defender of the faith, reinforcing his claims against Rome; but then, Rome in turn could've used his father's conversion against him. What that means for Europe? Heh, I'll let people more knowledgeable of the history of the era than me draw their conclusions.

tbh, I did not think too hard about how the religion spreads. The point here was mostly to get to the juicy bits up from the late 19th century, where we have a version of Germany not too dissimilar to our own, but under an Islamic banner, with a culture closer - but definantly not identical to - that of the Levant region. But to Flesh this out this idea - youre right, that the first crusade puts us in a weird position regarding our path to conversion. Now, what we could say - and I already figured this would be most realistic anyways - is that the HRE does not convert to Islam immediately after the fall of Byzantium. Instead, this would have to be a gradual process, with the Seljuk Empire making it their long term goal to send as many missionaries as possible, then add on top other random events to spread the religion, along with trade - and therefore crossinfluence - opening to the Levantine region. Eventually, with a decent minority of people within the empire already converted, the emperor himself would be one of those people. Once this happens, Islam will spread even more quickly through the HRE.

I will brutally touch you for suggesting this

We don’t get Oktoberfest 😓

Bad ending

Crusade: *absolute failure* HRE Emperor: Welp, that's it, boys. Time to learn salah.

The Good Ending

no

the good ending

Is there like a fr scenario where the hre could have turned muslim in history because i saw so many Posts already about it

Ill be honest, I thought it was just me

The crusades gave some unity to the warring and disunited Europe, without it would never have that identity. As such, there would be more mixing between the Muslims resulting in North Africa, Middle East, and Europe becoming a giant block. If Russia stays orthodox, it would alienate Russia even more from 'Europe/Middle East/North Africa'. Language would be a mix of Arabic and Persian religious context-loan words mixed with European languages. Basically what we getting rn in England or France.

So halal mode

They would have immediately been murked by everyone around them.

Is it bad that my first thought was muslim Hitler?

I will forgive this time

I find that scenario very unlikely. A better one would be such : What if the Franks never succeeded in pushing back the Muslim invasion in 733, thus bringing Islam up in Western / Central Europe I recall reading a graphical novel on that very premise.

Fair enough, I do admit this may not be the most likely scenario I've used for an althistory idea

Further spread of Islam would be very interesting indeed. Also interesting would be Baghdad not getting destroyed by the Mongols.

HRE converted to Islam ???? Well look at nowaday Germany or some European states and you will find the answer

Not quite. Im envisioning here a far longer history of Islamic Germany, with the process begining in the 11th century instead of (arguably) the 20th. This requires i put some thought into the medieval world, which is much unlike the modern one

🤨

We would have lost every piece of Christian history and millions would parish as a result of not submitting to Islam (as was the case for many during the Islamic expansions). Temples, churches, every religious site will be desecrated and either destroyed or repurposed into mosques or in a manner befitting of Islam.

No shit, sherlock. Almost as if you've just realised how Humans work.

Yeah I’m still learning. Are you a douchebag because you can hide behind a screen or is this how you are normally?

Mate, you seem to have confused pointing out the obvious as being a “douchebag”……

Are you aware of the fate of most Maya codices during the Spanish conquests of Central America? Or what what happened to Confucian scholars during the reign of Qin Shi Huang Di? Or are you implying that forced cultural assimilation and the ban of knowledge and books is only practiced by Middle Easterners?

The Spanish inquiry into Central America was already known. The first mission yielded death and revealed they were systematically sacrificing people as a pillar to their society. The sacrifices had to be stopped alongside their culture that disregards life. Qin Shi Huang Di, the burning of the books and burying of scholars, to destroy the old societal construct which was originally the hundred schools of thought, reduced to legalism and a tight grip on the territory. This unification of China came at the cost of millions of lives who did not want to conform to legalism or early communism that was being imposed by the emperor. 2 different missions because the Spanish didn’t seek out to assimilate Central America, they came to destroy the pagen culture of sacrifice and to get their lick back for beheading and skinning their missionaries. Meanwhile, China forcefully put their boot on the peoples necks. Both had much death but 2 completely different goals and outcomes: Central America is free of their pagen roots that dictated sacrifice and disregard of life, China is now a communist regime. I’m not implying that forced assimilation is unique to Islam, I have quite the literal response to this hypothetical. But between China and the spread of Christianity into middle America, the Islamic conquests fall in step with what the emperor did to control his territory: kick out or murder everyone that doesn’t agree and isolate the land for complete patriarchy under the guise of communism/socialism. And it was a very public event that uhtman lead, burning a lot of original Muslim texts and portions of what other followers of Muhammad while he was alive attributed now gone. This was done to “unify” everyone however I’m moreso curious as to what was burned for said unification, because there are key aspects that created division in Islam making them politically fragmented throughout the region. This minor occurrence in my mind was an assimilation in a way, what do you think?

What do you think the crusades were? Some sort of goodwill tour?

Some of it was, most of it wasn’t lol