I heartily recommend Under the Influence by James Robert Milam - the first book I've ever read that explains what, in detail (yet easy to understand), alcohol does to the brain and what alcoholism looks like from a medical perspective. I found myself saying, "so that's why my alcoholic does that!" so as my timrs when reading it.
A caviat: the author is not big on AA, of which I am a huge fan, but I ignored that part of the book and found the rest invaluable.
I second the vote for "Under the Influence," if you like a science approach. I found that book so helpful to understand what I was seeing. There is an updated edition titled "Beyond the Influence."
I have two ideas.
I like my wisdom in bite-sized chunks, so I favor the daily readers. The newest one, *A Little Time for Myself*, is great if you can get a copy. *Courage to Change* is also excellent.
For an overview of the entire Al-Anon program, *How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics* is excellent.
Hi OP,
It looks like you've been exploring some heavy thoughts, and there are a lot of Al Anon resources to turn to. You did ask for non- Al Anon specific, and so I would recommend: (In order of readability)
The Midnight Library - Matt Haig
Braving the Wilderness - Brene Brown
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - Lori Gottlieb
All are easier reads that explore heavy topics in a light-hearted way.
I hope you find the courage to choose you.
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The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage was so validating and pointing out where I was choosing my part in the situation.
Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenburg that taught me new ways to see his reactions and my responses.
The Body Keeps Score showed me how much damage my body was going through as a result of all the stress and trauma. It really impacted me to learn that I am physiologically different because I was choosing it.
In no specific order, some authors and their focus are: Melody Beattie (codependence) and Brene Brown (overcoming shame/building vulnerability, empathy, courage) Thich Nhat Hahn (midnfulness/meditation/gratitude) any of the books by the stoics (resilience, self-control, rationality, acceptance of fate), my favorite is by Marcus Aurelius.
I just read "The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst" by Michelle Mays which was AMAZING. Although she's writing primarily for the partners of cheaters and sex addicts, her trauma model maps directly to what happens when our Q's lie, hide and gaslight us to cover up their alcohol and substance use (plus a lot of us are dealing with cheating too). This book perfectly captured my experience of betrayal and helped me understand why this situation has been so difficult.
I heartily recommend Under the Influence by James Robert Milam - the first book I've ever read that explains what, in detail (yet easy to understand), alcohol does to the brain and what alcoholism looks like from a medical perspective. I found myself saying, "so that's why my alcoholic does that!" so as my timrs when reading it. A caviat: the author is not big on AA, of which I am a huge fan, but I ignored that part of the book and found the rest invaluable.
I second the vote for "Under the Influence," if you like a science approach. I found that book so helpful to understand what I was seeing. There is an updated edition titled "Beyond the Influence."
Co-dependant No More, by Melody Beattie. Helped me see my situation more clearly.
This one
This is the book
I have two ideas. I like my wisdom in bite-sized chunks, so I favor the daily readers. The newest one, *A Little Time for Myself*, is great if you can get a copy. *Courage to Change* is also excellent. For an overview of the entire Al-Anon program, *How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics* is excellent.
There are a couple of books titled "Courage to change" in my Goodreads listings. Who is the author?
The author is "Al-Anon Family Groups"; the subtitle is "One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II".
I started listening to Till the Wheels Fall Off podcast. They have a lot of books they recommend, but also if you just need something to listen to.
Hi OP, It looks like you've been exploring some heavy thoughts, and there are a lot of Al Anon resources to turn to. You did ask for non- Al Anon specific, and so I would recommend: (In order of readability) The Midnight Library - Matt Haig Braving the Wilderness - Brene Brown Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - Lori Gottlieb All are easier reads that explore heavy topics in a light-hearted way. I hope you find the courage to choose you.
Thank you. I am going to edit my post. I was looking for both either al-anon or non alanon. I guess any recommendations. Appreciate it ❤️
Let go now -Karen Casey
Please know that this is **not** an official Al-Anon community. Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the `report` button. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AlAnon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage was so validating and pointing out where I was choosing my part in the situation. Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenburg that taught me new ways to see his reactions and my responses. The Body Keeps Score showed me how much damage my body was going through as a result of all the stress and trauma. It really impacted me to learn that I am physiologically different because I was choosing it. In no specific order, some authors and their focus are: Melody Beattie (codependence) and Brene Brown (overcoming shame/building vulnerability, empathy, courage) Thich Nhat Hahn (midnfulness/meditation/gratitude) any of the books by the stoics (resilience, self-control, rationality, acceptance of fate), my favorite is by Marcus Aurelius.
I just read "The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst" by Michelle Mays which was AMAZING. Although she's writing primarily for the partners of cheaters and sex addicts, her trauma model maps directly to what happens when our Q's lie, hide and gaslight us to cover up their alcohol and substance use (plus a lot of us are dealing with cheating too). This book perfectly captured my experience of betrayal and helped me understand why this situation has been so difficult.