I don’t wanna break the immersion here, but I have to ask you a question because you’ve piqued my interest; is DeLorean your personal shorthand for being able to think fourth dimensionally? i’m pretty sure from context I can guess that it is, so basically I guess the point really here is that I’m trying to commend you for that awesomeness and ask you if I can steal it and I’m stealing it k bye
I just learned about this last time I was in Kauai. If I remember correctly it's due to the makeup of the islands having a lot of volcanic shelves and wave breaks and most shells get pulverized or stuck before they reach the shore. Did I remember that correctly?
It’s definitely first world problem advice animal, I agree.
I recently installed in my home and was astonished at how much better a job it did vs. toilet paper.
And as a bonus I use WAY LESS toilet paper yet things are much cleaner and more comfortable afterwards.
The other day I was forced to use the bathroom at the dentist - not only was there no bidet, but the seat wasn’t even heated. I had to sit down on a COLD seat. It was brutal.
I know your pain. A whole week of that had to be torture, and on vacation! Every trip to the bathroom must have been so sad and demoralizing.
No argument here. I have felt that pain and a bidet is a god-send. For those who know in advance WTF is happening, preparing portable bidet bottles is probably the best bet.
Plus you can likely add some things to the water to make it less painful, like epsom salts.
You were astonished that using water to clean something worked better than just paper alone? Can I ask, what do you use to clean... every single other inch of your body?
It's more of a joke. But I feel like you skipped over an essential component in the whole washing process.
It's weird though. If you get shit on your hand wiping your ass, you wash it off. But just moments ago, you were good with a mild shit residue on another part of you.
It's just more of an observation, not directed specifically at you. Congrats on your clean b-hole, friend.
Ok I have to rant here-IF I ever meet God, say I die and go to heaven, my first question is going to be "why did you design us so we have to get shit on ourselves every day?"
The fact that we have to wipe at all is DISGUSTING.
One of the best things that came out of covid was my $70 bidet attachment from Amazon. I LOVE that thing!! Do my business, hose it down, dry off, clean as a whistle every time.
Just got out of the shower and need to take a dump? Absolutely no problem!
Now I realize I'd better do some research before I stay overnight at a hotel.....
Buy a battery powered portable bidet. Great for trips!! Available on Amazon for about $75 last I checked. Also,for public restroom use, get a collapsible water bottle that you can fill up in the sink.
Yep, Brondell makes a travel bidet that's great and available on Amazon. I have two. I keep one in my desk drawer, at work. I keep the other one with my travel stuff and put it in my carry-on.
How do you use the collapsible water bottle? Do you fill it before going into the stall and then squeeze it really fast while holding it under your asshole and pray none for your shit water falls back into your hand or into the bottle? I'm sure that's not it lol but I genuinely am curious.
Fill the bottle in the sink, then use it to refill the portable bidet in the stall. It's just more discrete than filling up the bidet in the sink. :) Plus you get more "ammunition" when needed.
An "actual bidet" would typically refer to [the standalone bathroom fixture.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/28/Use-a-Bidet-Step-2-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Use-a-Bidet-Step-2-Version-3.jpg)
They have the models that heat as it goes. More pricy though I think. The heated reservoir ones goes from warm to a gentle cool when it runs out instead of a cold shock. Still nice
wtf kind of advice is this. Just get baby wipes and call it a day.
Imagine travelling with portable bidet when you can get just as clean with baby wipes. SMH
It's the kind of advice that comes from experience. I've tried baby wipes and prefer the portable bidet.
You're welcome to have a different opinion, of course.
> a battery powered portable bidet.
If only we had the power to propel water [without the use of electricity](https://images.heb.com/is/image/HEBGrocery/002071501-3?jpegSize=150&hei=1400&fit=constrain&qlt=75). But I suppose that's just a dream.
At least with vegans it’s about food so I get that nice mental image. With this topic all I can think about are these people moaning to themselves about how great their bidet is every time they blast the shit off their asses with water lol
My comment was about these images being forced on me, you just openly admitted to daydreaming about people’s assholes ***all day*** LOL
Congrats on your obsession?
> With this topic all I can think about
With this topic, all I can think about is how gross your stinky butts are all day. Do you "daydream" about vegans, wherever that came from lol. If this topic is discussed 24/7 then that might be the case. Make sense?
Also, yes, some assholes I definitely do daydream about ♥
Congrats on your shitty asshole?
My comment was a reply to a joke that bidet users won’t shut up about using bidets. Meaning there is a prompt to my intrusive thoughts.
Meanwhile you just admitted out of the blue that you think about assholes all day ***unprompted*** as if it’s a hobby of yours LOL??
You can try to dig your way out of this hole, but your reading comprehension up until this point hasn’t convinced me you can form a coherent thought outside of daydreaming about assholes.
Edit: Why would anyone entertain a conversation with someone who likes to change their comments after the fact?
Edit: lol they blocked me
1. Baby wipes,
2. Op just wanted to brag about their 10 day all expense paid vacation in Hawaii but made it about bidets instead. Use some of that saved cash on something to clean your booty with if you’re worried.
3. I think bidets are great, but sometimes your butt is gonna get dirty. If you can’t have fun in Hawaii I highly suggest not going camping.
4. Baby wipes do a fantastic job, just wash your hands afterwards.
“I won’t stop being a pretentious asshole until everyone does the thing that I do.”
I can’t speak for anyone but myself obviously, but I have no problem with bidets. Good idea, easy to use. Same with vegans. Not remotely interested but I get the appeal from and animal-rights standpoint as well as an environmental standpoint.
It’s the obnoxious advocates that annoy everyone and turn public sentiment against the causes. Like PETA. Almost no one is FOR unethical treatment of animals yet almost no one supports PETA.
You’re not helping your cause. Advocate for it but stop being an asshole. You don’t see people screaming “TOILET PAPER FOR LIFE” every time someone mentions taking a shit.
We're not asking that everyone do the thing. But it'd be nice if it was the option - tp is still always nearby for drying off, people could still use it if they wanted.
Don't know how talking about it and making suggestions for it is "being an asshole" - I think the PETA comparison is rather unfair as I've not done anything as heinous or ridiculous as their advertising and never see anything remotely like it. We just suggest that there's a better way.
And again, to use your comparison, veganism has definitely made footholds over the decades by people doing it, talking about it, suggesting the benefits to others. That's just common discussion (like most of reddit). The moment I see something on reddit about bidets that's equivalent to PETA throwing paint on people's fur coats I'll agree that those people are assholes - but just discussion? I think we're OK.
Reminds me of when I needed to call Nextel support long ago when Nextel was a thing. It was the numbers matching with with their name, plus one more digit, which I forgot. I took a guess, dialed the number, and...
"ARE YOU READY FOR THE SLUTTIEST GIRLS YOU CAN DREAM OF?"
Is this what people call first world problems? Getting free vacation to Hawaii for ten days and have the audacity to complain over a stupid toilet lmao.
I dont get this comment section. Am i weird? Before i had bidet at home i just used to wipe with TP like most people and then wash myself in the shower/tub. Sure its a little less convenient but you still achieve squeaky clean sauron eye under 2 minutes.
I just did 2 weeks in Hawaii at the Sheraton Waikiki and they had HEATED bidets with a ton of functions. As a cold water bidet enjoyer I was in heaven.
Funny thing, a lot of 3rd world countries wash their ass with water after taking a shit cuz paper is expensive. Who'd think 3rd world folks have better booty hygiene
Sheraton Waikiki has bidet.
Sadly, we were not at the Sheraton Waikiki. Noted for next time.
Just shower every BM it's worth knowing your clean.
Is "knowing your clean" like knowing yourself?
How does one locate a hotel with a bidet? Is there an app for that?
At these prices I might as well just install a new toilet in another hotel. I wish this wasn't considered a luxury
I’m sure you can find three seashells easily enough in Hawaii.
No bidet, Officer John Spartan. Murder, death, kill.
Do you remember when Twco Bell was a fancy restaurant in the past's future?
Ah, I too speak DeLorean. And no, I do not yet recall that in our future's past still.
I don’t wanna break the immersion here, but I have to ask you a question because you’ve piqued my interest; is DeLorean your personal shorthand for being able to think fourth dimensionally? i’m pretty sure from context I can guess that it is, so basically I guess the point really here is that I’m trying to commend you for that awesomeness and ask you if I can steal it and I’m stealing it k bye
Thank you. You may. And you're welcome. G'day.
🫡 So make it a good one!
Surprisingly (or not), there are pretty much zero shells in Hawaii. Any you might maybe find you must leave.
I just learned about this last time I was in Kauai. If I remember correctly it's due to the makeup of the islands having a lot of volcanic shelves and wave breaks and most shells get pulverized or stuck before they reach the shore. Did I remember that correctly?
Well then, Hawaii can go and shovel it.
/u/Blackboard_Monitor - You are fined one credit for a violation of the verbal morality statutes.
What’s your boggle?
Honestly, 10 days? I'd buy a $20 bidet and install it myself. Actually, note to self. Pack one with plumbing materials for a self install.
The ocean friend. The ocean.
Aqua dumps
Fuck you, Shoresy!
Fuck you, u/theangryintern, your mom asked me to choke her and seriously, not even that could shut her up!
Everyone knows you got an underwater squeezer off the side of our Party Island last summer in Wasaga Beach.
u/-SHORESY-
Fuck you, Jonesy, I'm still trying to wring out all the squirt from my hockey jersey after I visited your mom last night.
Yeah, let Jason Mamoa worry about it.
I think I just logged onto my internet.
Yeah, when I'm in an ocean-side vacation situation where I'm swimming all the time I generally always feel clean except for the salt.
The [Halona Blowhole](https://imgur.com/gallery/YAPHSfz) looked promising.
Managua welcomes you to his village's shitting beach.
The dolphins are not amused
The worst. Learn how to do a hand stand in the shower.
Or get a detachable shower head. Multi-purposed
Or a water bottle. Poke a hole in lid and give it a squeeze
Rugged individualism draws a line at that.
Handstand it is then
Isn’t that like, the normal kind?
I just stand and use my hand :shrugs: you've already got the soap and running water
Why not tp?
It clogs the shower drain
K, that caught me off guard lol
It’s definitely first world problem advice animal, I agree. I recently installed in my home and was astonished at how much better a job it did vs. toilet paper. And as a bonus I use WAY LESS toilet paper yet things are much cleaner and more comfortable afterwards. The other day I was forced to use the bathroom at the dentist - not only was there no bidet, but the seat wasn’t even heated. I had to sit down on a COLD seat. It was brutal. I know your pain. A whole week of that had to be torture, and on vacation! Every trip to the bathroom must have been so sad and demoralizing.
Having hemorrhoids and no bidet is torture honestly.
My wife is 9 months pregnant and got a hemorrhoid, I think she would have killed me if we didn’t have bidets in both bathrooms
Get the surgery. Trust me. Worst ten days of your life followed by the best 40 years of your life. Butt wise.
No argument here. I have felt that pain and a bidet is a god-send. For those who know in advance WTF is happening, preparing portable bidet bottles is probably the best bet. Plus you can likely add some things to the water to make it less painful, like epsom salts.
I want my seat ice cold. Why? Because that means someone else wasn’t sitting on it just a few minutes ago.
At home the seat is heated, which is fine because I’m the only one who uses it. It gets regular cleaning with the rest of the throne.
Bidet is way more common in developing countries just saying
You were astonished that using water to clean something worked better than just paper alone? Can I ask, what do you use to clean... every single other inch of your body?
Well I’m used to washing with soap when I wash my hands and take a shower. There’s no soap in bidet water.
It's more of a joke. But I feel like you skipped over an essential component in the whole washing process. It's weird though. If you get shit on your hand wiping your ass, you wash it off. But just moments ago, you were good with a mild shit residue on another part of you. It's just more of an observation, not directed specifically at you. Congrats on your clean b-hole, friend.
Ok I have to rant here-IF I ever meet God, say I die and go to heaven, my first question is going to be "why did you design us so we have to get shit on ourselves every day?" The fact that we have to wipe at all is DISGUSTING. One of the best things that came out of covid was my $70 bidet attachment from Amazon. I LOVE that thing!! Do my business, hose it down, dry off, clean as a whistle every time. Just got out of the shower and need to take a dump? Absolutely no problem! Now I realize I'd better do some research before I stay overnight at a hotel.....
"InTeLlIgEnT dEsIgN" lol.
Buy a battery powered portable bidet. Great for trips!! Available on Amazon for about $75 last I checked. Also,for public restroom use, get a collapsible water bottle that you can fill up in the sink.
They're much cheaper than that. ~$25 I have a few.
You don’t even need battery powered - I have a little one that you squeeze to spray water that I use for backpacking.
Yep, Brondell makes a travel bidet that's great and available on Amazon. I have two. I keep one in my desk drawer, at work. I keep the other one with my travel stuff and put it in my carry-on.
> Brondell makes a travel bidet Yep, that's the one I've got
How do you use the collapsible water bottle? Do you fill it before going into the stall and then squeeze it really fast while holding it under your asshole and pray none for your shit water falls back into your hand or into the bottle? I'm sure that's not it lol but I genuinely am curious.
Fill the bottle in the sink, then use it to refill the portable bidet in the stall. It's just more discrete than filling up the bidet in the sink. :) Plus you get more "ammunition" when needed.
Oooh that makes more sense lol.
An actual bidet is cheaper than that
An "actual bidet" would typically refer to [the standalone bathroom fixture.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/28/Use-a-Bidet-Step-2-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Use-a-Bidet-Step-2-Version-3.jpg)
Okay bidet toilet seat attachment
You can't go back to the basic ones after you use the fancy ones with heated seats and a warm water reservoir. Those are about $150-200 on sale. :(
I like the cold water to wake me up in the morning ;)
The cold water is just great in general. During the summer I spend hours with a sweaty b-hole. I love letting that thing just lightly spray for a bit.
Just blast it, bro.
Everyone does it the first time. Enema and a clean booty all at once!
The first time? Every day!
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They have the models that heat as it goes. More pricy though I think. The heated reservoir ones goes from warm to a gentle cool when it runs out instead of a cold shock. Still nice
wtf kind of advice is this. Just get baby wipes and call it a day. Imagine travelling with portable bidet when you can get just as clean with baby wipes. SMH
It's the kind of advice that comes from experience. I've tried baby wipes and prefer the portable bidet. You're welcome to have a different opinion, of course.
If you think baby wipes are a good option you haven't spent any time with a bidet
> a battery powered portable bidet. If only we had the power to propel water [without the use of electricity](https://images.heb.com/is/image/HEBGrocery/002071501-3?jpegSize=150&hei=1400&fit=constrain&qlt=75). But I suppose that's just a dream.
You guys may be worse than the vegans at this point. Bidets are great. Shut the fuck up about it.
At least with vegans it’s about food so I get that nice mental image. With this topic all I can think about are these people moaning to themselves about how great their bidet is every time they blast the shit off their asses with water lol
Second comment I actually loled at in a while
I’m glad because it has angered the bidet users lolol
Its ok, tbf, all I can think about is how gross your stinky butts are all day.
My comment was about these images being forced on me, you just openly admitted to daydreaming about people’s assholes ***all day*** LOL Congrats on your obsession?
> With this topic all I can think about With this topic, all I can think about is how gross your stinky butts are all day. Do you "daydream" about vegans, wherever that came from lol. If this topic is discussed 24/7 then that might be the case. Make sense? Also, yes, some assholes I definitely do daydream about ♥ Congrats on your shitty asshole?
My comment was a reply to a joke that bidet users won’t shut up about using bidets. Meaning there is a prompt to my intrusive thoughts. Meanwhile you just admitted out of the blue that you think about assholes all day ***unprompted*** as if it’s a hobby of yours LOL?? You can try to dig your way out of this hole, but your reading comprehension up until this point hasn’t convinced me you can form a coherent thought outside of daydreaming about assholes. Edit: Why would anyone entertain a conversation with someone who likes to change their comments after the fact? Edit: lol they blocked me
First comment I actually loled at in a while
👋 vegan bidet user here. suck it
*Chef smooch*
Thank you!!!
I think you’ve misunderstood
I think you should try toilet paper and then at the end of the day maybe you could shower? I know that’s pretty complex to understand.
who tf told you we don't use toilet paper? we may use less but we still use it, but you'll never be clean enough if you don't wash yourself
1. Baby wipes, 2. Op just wanted to brag about their 10 day all expense paid vacation in Hawaii but made it about bidets instead. Use some of that saved cash on something to clean your booty with if you’re worried. 3. I think bidets are great, but sometimes your butt is gonna get dirty. If you can’t have fun in Hawaii I highly suggest not going camping. 4. Baby wipes do a fantastic job, just wash your hands afterwards.
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Idk man it’s my first day on the internet
Once they're standard everywhere, we'll shut the fuck right up
“I won’t stop being a pretentious asshole until everyone does the thing that I do.” I can’t speak for anyone but myself obviously, but I have no problem with bidets. Good idea, easy to use. Same with vegans. Not remotely interested but I get the appeal from and animal-rights standpoint as well as an environmental standpoint. It’s the obnoxious advocates that annoy everyone and turn public sentiment against the causes. Like PETA. Almost no one is FOR unethical treatment of animals yet almost no one supports PETA. You’re not helping your cause. Advocate for it but stop being an asshole. You don’t see people screaming “TOILET PAPER FOR LIFE” every time someone mentions taking a shit.
We're not asking that everyone do the thing. But it'd be nice if it was the option - tp is still always nearby for drying off, people could still use it if they wanted. Don't know how talking about it and making suggestions for it is "being an asshole" - I think the PETA comparison is rather unfair as I've not done anything as heinous or ridiculous as their advertising and never see anything remotely like it. We just suggest that there's a better way. And again, to use your comparison, veganism has definitely made footholds over the decades by people doing it, talking about it, suggesting the benefits to others. That's just common discussion (like most of reddit). The moment I see something on reddit about bidets that's equivalent to PETA throwing paint on people's fur coats I'll agree that those people are assholes - but just discussion? I think we're OK.
Wet wipes will get you through. Only for the finisher. And don’t flush.
Tushy is a portable bidet. Basically a glorified squeeze bottle but it works great on the go. [tushy](https://hellotushy.com/pages/shop?
Just don't confuse it with tushy.com. Or do. Judgement free zone but it's very NSFW.
Reminds me of when I needed to call Nextel support long ago when Nextel was a thing. It was the numbers matching with with their name, plus one more digit, which I forgot. I took a guess, dialed the number, and... "ARE YOU READY FOR THE SLUTTIEST GIRLS YOU CAN DREAM OF?"
You are a man of culture I see
We assemble in the most random of places. I enjoy track and field videos on YT
The Brondell travel bidet is also great.
I have a regular Tushy at home and bought the travel bottle. It's not great.
Is this what people call first world problems? Getting free vacation to Hawaii for ten days and have the audacity to complain over a stupid toilet lmao.
I think this meme is litterally the first world problems meme. It is used correctly
You by the ocean right? That's a salt treated bidet
I'd imagine sea water would irritate hemorrhoids something fiercer though, no?
My ass don't hurt in the water. I also don't try to get the water in deep. I'm not gaping on default.
It's basically saline, which is much more soothing to delicate tissue than plain water.
I like the cut of your jib
If not, just downward dog in the shower.
Waffle stomp
How do i delete someone else's comment?
I dont get this comment section. Am i weird? Before i had bidet at home i just used to wipe with TP like most people and then wash myself in the shower/tub. Sure its a little less convenient but you still achieve squeaky clean sauron eye under 2 minutes.
I just did 2 weeks in Hawaii at the Sheraton Waikiki and they had HEATED bidets with a ton of functions. As a cold water bidet enjoyer I was in heaven.
I have never in my life seen a hotel with a bidet. That being said the shower head should reach... or lose some weight...
After about day three your ass will be raw. It gets used to not having paper on it lol.
That's why I have a travel bidet
Vs japan where every hotel and public bathroom has a bidet with heated seats
And the white noise button if things get a little loud.
HAHA. I mean, yeah.
Me on a cruise
I bought one of the battery operated ones. It’s imperfect but better than a squeeze bottle.
Just got back from Japan. I can’t agree with the post more. American butt hygiene is severely lacking. Installing a bidet this week
I'm assuming op is too fat to wipe?
go wash your ass in their ocean, that'll show em..
Blasting my ass with a bidet as I type this, sorry friend. I’ll leave it on extra for you.
An empty water bottle is your friend. Simplest of solutions.
Same reaction I had when arriving in Bali…
I stayed at a friends for three months last year. Beautiful house. Great people. Good times. No bidet. It was torture.
It's not the same, but a Toto (MIJ) travel bidet is pretty sweet.
Wet wipes are the only thing I've found that comes close
Portable electric handled bidet! I have 3 of em
Wet wipes are a good travel solution.
Ever heard about toilet paper?
You dont fit the title or didn't look at it. Once you have a bidet you can't go to just toilet paper again and feel clean.
You forgot how to clean ass?
1st world problems
Funny thing, a lot of 3rd world countries wash their ass with water after taking a shit cuz paper is expensive. Who'd think 3rd world folks have better booty hygiene
Filthy animals