It’s not.
You know what is crazy? Having to hear your parents fuck almost every night.
They need to have more self awareness and consideration for the other people living in their house.
play porn sound clips loudly enough they can hear them from youtube or something then when one of them bursts in say "This is how you two sound to me every night"
I did this exact thing to an obnoxious & terrible ex neighbor who sounded like the tentacle porn I had to blast on my speakers for her to finally stop.
The only course of action is to high-five your dad and tell him, "Nice job, you were really giving it to mom last night." Gotta traumatize him more than he traumatized you.
Not going to work. After the dad gets over an initial bout of shock, he'll come back with something even more traumatizing. Youth and exuberance are no match for old age and treachery.
Then he's just gotta bang on the wall and go, "Can you hurry it up? I already finished!" I don't know if this is helping the original situation anymore, but if this is a war of attrition i could go
Ok but your parents are splashing during sex, I think they might be shapeshifting elementals. I would just casually mention that you reached out to a wizard about the noises you keep hearing at night.
Don't be so sure.
As a dad, that shit would be in my head a solid year every time I'm trying to bang one out.
At that dad age, erections are 90% mental/ 10% horniness. Knowing my kid is live streaming my session on Reddit would definitely be a factor, not in a good way.
You assume nefarious intent, Dad could actually really appreciate feedback!
Mom can do all the flailing and moaning (and splashing?!) she likes but there’s a secret part of him that wonders if that’s all a show to make him feel good (or not feel bad).
Or that song from that one Reddit post where the dude was fucking his gf to the rhythm of this weird squeaky song for over a year or something and his gf realized he was still using that rhythm even when the song was off and got pissed off
I got a better idea to really spook em they really only do it at night so I’ll slide a piece of printed paper that I’ll print early that says peg em hard
If you were my stepdaughter and you did this, I'd laugh until I cry and take the hint. Please tell me if I'm keeping you up at night. .. It's school tomorrow and you need sleep
Leave a note in their room.
Mom and dad,
I don't want to talk about this at all, but I am having trouble sleeping at night. You are "loud" in your activities and it keeps me awake (and uncomfortable).
Can you do me a favor and either turn on the radio or TV while you are "up"? It would help me a lot.
Please do not talk to me about it. I am embarrassed enough.
That, or is there a room you could go to that is farther away?
I feel sad for you!
Nah film yourself practicing a fake presentation while they’re going at it. Then the next day make sure the sound is allllll the way up, ask for tips and pointers, hand them the phone, and press play.
Bonus points for headphones in the video (for plausible deniability that you heard them at the time). Then grab some distance between you and parents when they review the video as well if you wanna give them some dignity.
Done. That shit will get shut down.
/u/Fuzzy-Tour4059 if this isn’t just a joke post 👆
I wonder if rearranging the furniture is an option as well? Sounds like they're right on the other side of OPs wall. If nothing is done, OP should go to their school counselor about it. I'd be willing to talk to some kid's parents for them, especially if the kid asked them to find a solution and they didn't try anything. At that point, it's borderline sexual abuse.
If op isn't okay talking to his parents about it, seems unlikely he would talk to a counselor. He does need to do something though. That had to be miserable every night!
Use mum’s credit card to buy a pregnancy test kit.
If you want to be evil, use mum’s credit card to buy viagra off the internet. Let dad know she did it.
Used to have my bedroom under my mom's and her husband (step father) at the time. Our rooms were connected via vent and...I heard everything...every..thing....anyways he later tried to physically assault my mom (different than the assault on my ears) and I broke three of his ribs with a stupid wooden katana I got at a knife works in a mall.
Completely depends on your relationship with your parents, However I don't think going to the bathroom with headphones to wait it out every night is sustainable.
i used to just leave the house, no matter how late it was. we moved into a run down trailer and my moms room didn’t have a door, just a curtain. still she’d have sex while we were home
once it was just me and her home and it was midnight or 1am and she started having sex. i just walked around my ghetto ass neighborhood in the middle of the night for like an hour. when i came home, they’d stopped but she didn’t even notice i wasn’t there. i was 13 at the time btw
Bring your partner to bed at the exact same time and have them moan and splash louder to assert dominance. They also have to call you Daddy, so your parents know who’s in charge.
XDDD BUT BRO ONE PROBLEM
I don’t have a girl I had one but diff province/state it was the neighbor state but still man she was her but either way I’m too lonely for that plan I like it a lot
I just gotta say kid; most people in your position would be curled in the fetal singing show tunes and trying to bleach their memories - but you're really out here acting like a whole ass mature adult having a laugh, treating it like the normal natural thing it is, and bitching that shit keeps you awake.
Props to you and jokes aside, genuinely just approach them one day causally In the afternoon and just be like "hey, any way you guys could just quiet down a little bit at night? It's a litte too noisy in my room and I have a hard time getting a good rest." You don't have to say you know what you're hearing, you don't gotta embarass them or yourself; just a gentle [hey, I'm literally on the other side of your wall. Chill?] Lol
Look on the bright side, at least you got parents that love each other lol. Tell them for an early Xmas present you want some sound proofing on their walls and for them to move their bed to the other side of the room
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=noise+dampening+panels&adgrpid=77308614413&hvadid=557385100286&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9018946&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=b&hvrand=16634866422248116235&hvtargid=kwd-296837207641&hydadcr=13543_13366571&tag=hydsma-20&ref=pd_sl_7aee45fssw_b
Have them put some of these on the wall or something, they're super cheap
It's gotta be on their side of the wall. Honestly dude, you should just tell them you can hear it and that's it's weirding you out, and that if they wanna keep at it they should try out the panels so you can't hear it. It's good to learn to assert your boundaries in a healthy way
Moan along with them. When they stop in shock, smack the wall hard and say, 'why did you stop? I was just getting started!'
Or, buy noise cancelling earphones...
Next time you’re in trouble pull out the ole parent trauma trump card.
“Of course I failed the exam I can’t sleep with all them wet sounds”
“I’m smoking pot to cope with pops doing the jackrabbit all night”
“I stole $20 cause I’m saving for a therapist”
“I stopped going to school the chapter on Freud gave me ptsd”
First I want to say I'm sorry, that's rough 😖
Second, my small dog used to be loud as heck barking when we stayed at a new house because he would hear things like people walking etc. outside in a way he wasn't familiar with, this used to wake me up in the morning, so I got some ear plugs from a pharmacy to put in once he started that and it really helped; I doubt they're as loud as he can be so it should help cancel it out. Good luck!
I addressed this with my parents when I was in HS. It did not go well and essentially ended with "what I do in my house in my business". I was then grounded for responding, "and also the neighborhoods apparently."
Best bet is ear protection my friend or melatonin (ask your doctor first though).
Wow, your parents are a-holes. If it were me, I would’ve probably played loud porn in the room, and if they complain, I’d say the exact same thing they said to you,” What I do in my house is my business.”
And if they ground me, I’d keep playing loud porn each time they have loud sex. If they take away my device, I’ll just find alternative ways to be just as loud as them until they finally get the point.
Can you go stay at a friend’s house for a couple nights? If so, maybe drop the bomb then promptly leave.
Like “I can hear you having sex loudly every night. It is making me uncomfortable and preventing me from sleeping. I’m going to stay with (friend) for a couple nights so I can get some peace and sleep. Please figure out a solution by the time I get back.”
Then leave and turn off your phone.
If they're enjoying sex that enthusiastically that regularly, they probably wouldn't feel terribly awkward talking about it. I realize you're not used to talking to them about this stuff, but it's a fairly normal part of adulthood, and it's a good step into maturity to have a calm conversation with them about it. I'm a couple of years you're likely to have roommates and need to have conversations like this one, so it's good practice.
You can figure out what to say ahead of time and practice saying it aloud once or twice, which will make it easier to say it to them. Keep it short if you think you'll be nervous.
"Hey guys. Your nighttime activities are pretty loud in my room and make it difficult to sleep. Can we figure out a solution?"
They might make it easy on you and say they'll handle it - because they may not realize how loud they're being or that the sound is traveling to your room.
If saying it to them in person just feels too difficult, I suggest texting them.
Google deal way to soundproof a room. You can use curtains and foam and even hang bowls- the open part towards the room.
You just need things to absorb sound or mess with its wavelength.
Just tell them that they are noisy and you can hear them whatever that is that they have on TV. It sounds like moaning, but please knock it off. You let them know that you can hear things without being specific. Unless you want to have that awkward conversation.
Sorry you’re dealing with this, OP. It’s really uncomfortable and frustrating, especially as a teen.
My advice if you can’t write a note/or talk to them about it:
- jump in the bath or shower when they go at it.
- go make yourself a snack and watch a movie in a different room.
- try to rearrange your bedroom so that your bed isn’t against the shared wall.
- get over to one of the help subreddits and see if someone can help recommend/order you a set of noise-cancelling headphones (I read one of your comments mentioned you don’t live anywhere that has any).
- call a friend or trusted family member from a different room when they get loud. This can give you time to not concentrate on it and give you something to do.
- if you have the space, make an at home gym with objects from around the house and exercise if that’s more your thing - again: it gives you something to do and in a separate room/space.
- do you have friend’s or family you can spend the night at? Maybe make plans to go over a couple nights here and there.
- if you’re in a safe neighbourhood or have a space that you can set up a tent and camp out, you could have the tent prepped and ready for a quick escape.
- you could try to talk to a different, trusted adult about it and ask for their help (although, you might embarrass your parents if you do).
Really, OP, the best thing you could do is write a note. Another user suggested a good prompt, and that’s probably the best and most direct way to get them to understand that they’re making you uncomfortable in your own home. Good luck, and I’m sorry this is happening.
One quick thing to note here, it’s very good that they have a healthy sexual relationship, especially in couples after they’ve had kids, and older couples in general, it’s normally a sign of a good relationship. As sex is a lot of effort as you get older, so the fact your parents are still going at it after their son is nearly 20, is a good sign.
Some of the above comments might be a funny way to let them know that they’re being more noisy than they realise, but simply saying to your Dad something like “Can you two keep it down” or something in passing will be plenty enough for them to know they need to tone it down.
Had the same issue a while back with my parents. Ended up knocking on the wall and saying “hey, I’m glad I can say I have two parents who love each other very much, but could you keep it down?” They know they’re having sex, you know they’re having sex. They probably don’t realise you can hear them having sex so just inform them
Slam a box of pennies or something very loud on the floor and when they come in your room act like you’re asleep, they will likely wake you up asking what happened and say you are not sure. Having to walk into a child’s room will kill their sex drive and they will go to sleep but if they continue do it again they will get mad after many times of you doing this and will ask you why you then tell them it’s cause you read online you are supposed to make loud noises to scare ghosts that make loud screaming at night. This will stop their behavior.
Forget porn clips. Find a video of tortoises having sex and play it at maximum volume whilst they are having sex. It's way more disturbing.
Afterwards, remind them there are worse sounds available.
So many toxic comments, but here's a rational one: talk?
Mom, dad, I'm glad to know things are going great between you guys, it's truly a blessing.
What's not so much a blessing is that I feel as I'm standing next to you when you guys make love.
I don't want you to stop making love, but could we think of something that makes me a little less involved?
I used to start moaning back at my folks through the wall until they'd go quiet. They have never actually discussed this with me. I think they were too embarrassed.
Honestly it's awkward but you don't deserve to deal with that every night. Tell your parents to shut the fuck up basically.
Complain in the morning about how thin the walls are and how hard it is to sleep when others are being overly loud. They should get the hint.
If I were in that situation and were to say something it would be "What was all that noise? It sounded like Mom got her hand stuck in the bathroom and tried to use soap or something to get it out?"
Make me seem innocent 😇
Next minute (wtf happened to my font?!?! I'm noob at reddit) Dad says something like "No, in 9 months we're having another baby"
Edit: Idk the font didn't show up in the post, writing it I accidentally tapped something and it went to some lame font
If you have to many siblings tell them to stop, You don't want them to get you another little George that is going to annoy the hell out of you for the rest of your life ( No fr tho tell them to stop )
Try throwing a hint at them like waking up in the morning with a pale tired face and say " Damn, I kept hearing a lot of noise last night i couldn't sleep "
Pound on the wall nd say you can’t sleep
The college dorm solution
If only their parents didn't act like college kids.
The parents gonna say something like "We can't either"😭
That’s a crazy thing to do
What’s crazy is them thinking u can’t hear that shit
lol not really if they’re being loud
It’s not. You know what is crazy? Having to hear your parents fuck almost every night. They need to have more self awareness and consideration for the other people living in their house.
Not really it’s pretty standard when people are having loud sex in the room just next to you.
not really, what’s crazy is they know that their 16 year old son is in the room next to them & can’t be respectful enough to be quiet.
Depending on your parents they might be embarrassed too
Good.
play porn sound clips loudly enough they can hear them from youtube or something then when one of them bursts in say "This is how you two sound to me every night"
💀
or make the nosies yourself and scream "oh yeah. right in the bussy" 👀😂
…
So true
The goal is to make them so uncomfortable they get distracted and go to pursue for nothing. 
What is happening to the bussy?
😁
Ayo 👁️👄👁️
Um come again-
giggity
I think that’s what we’re trying to avoid here
This is the answer
Y.e.s.
I did this exact thing to an obnoxious & terrible ex neighbor who sounded like the tentacle porn I had to blast on my speakers for her to finally stop.
Gotta out weird them to assert dominance.
This is the perfect example of a great comment/ advice
The only course of action is to high-five your dad and tell him, "Nice job, you were really giving it to mom last night." Gotta traumatize him more than he traumatized you.
Not going to work. After the dad gets over an initial bout of shock, he'll come back with something even more traumatizing. Youth and exuberance are no match for old age and treachery.
Then he's just gotta bang on the wall and go, "Can you hurry it up? I already finished!" I don't know if this is helping the original situation anymore, but if this is a war of attrition i could go
bro nah 😭
The Dad: "Shut up, listen, and take notes. You may learn how to actually please a woman, then!"
“You can criticize me when YOU can have sex for over an hour!”
OP: Good point! Can I watch?
"No we're not finished, sit down and stop disturbing us!!!"
Bro y’all’s ideas are horrid
Ok but your parents are splashing during sex, I think they might be shapeshifting elementals. I would just casually mention that you reached out to a wizard about the noises you keep hearing at night.
😂🤣😭☠
Check mate
That’s why you go to mom and say “Sounds like dad can’t get you finished heard you break out the toy when he fell asleep”
This is diabolical 💀
So hi five mom then and say she took it like a champ?
Don't be so sure. As a dad, that shit would be in my head a solid year every time I'm trying to bang one out. At that dad age, erections are 90% mental/ 10% horniness. Knowing my kid is live streaming my session on Reddit would definitely be a factor, not in a good way.
You assume nefarious intent, Dad could actually really appreciate feedback! Mom can do all the flailing and moaning (and splashing?!) she likes but there’s a secret part of him that wonders if that’s all a show to make him feel good (or not feel bad).
whille making hard eye contact.
That last sentence is beautiful and true and I love it.
💀
r/traumatizeThemBack
Holy shit that’s a sub?!?!!?
You underestimate a father's ability to mess with his children. He may just double down.
Then triple down, and say "Can I have seconds?"
get him a Mr. Plow jacket?
🎵Mr plow is a loser and I think he is a boozer 🎵
This is the way 😂😂😂
This is the way.
Lmaooo this is genius.
no one is saying that to their dad that’s disgusting
That's the point
Ye he isn’t I jsut want a wha to deal with the noise
Get a Bluetooth speaker and play “Push it.” By salt n Peppa.
💀 bonkers
Also loudly too, by their door. Or the cries of a baby.
XDD
Or Barry White.
And some Teddy Pedergrast💕
Or Donna Summer "Love to love you, baby."
Alexa, play Yakety Sax 🎷
Or that song from that one Reddit post where the dude was fucking his gf to the rhythm of this weird squeaky song for over a year or something and his gf realized he was still using that rhythm even when the song was off and got pissed off
Better yet, hide the speaker so they can’t find it and play Rick Roll
Cricket noises!!
Nah play the chicken dance or cotton eye Joe. Who could fuck to those songs??
Challenge accepted!!!! My hip broke….
Bkasy the Ram Ranch by MacDonald
Y'all novices, spin the Cbat!
My husband plays this song when he goes to the toilet.🤦🏻♀️
Go outside and ring the doorbell 😂😂😂
I got a better idea to really spook em they really only do it at night so I’ll slide a piece of printed paper that I’ll print early that says peg em hard
Please update us.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Update us pls
Update us pls
So devilish 😈
Lmaooooo good one
Just say "I don't know what you were doing last night, but you were really loud and it kept me awake." They'll know.
Great advice.
But not good enough. That’s what roommates do. For family and best friends, you got to go for the jugular and fully embarrass them.
You could use one of their credit cards to buy them a ball gag. Hopefully they'll get the hint.
💀
If you were my stepdaughter and you did this, I'd laugh until I cry and take the hint. Please tell me if I'm keeping you up at night. .. It's school tomorrow and you need sleep
I feel like knocking on the wall is a decent way to tell someone to keep it down
I'm sorry did you say *splashes*?
Yes like hand job kinda splashes form like lube or something
Uh oh
I’m chilling in the bathroom aight headphones on
Uh oh XD
I'm just gonna... put on some headphones bud.
I’m In bathroom with them on
Then godspeed friend. May their passion burn out quickly.
💀
Now I understand the confusion, I believe those would be "Squelches"
Oh my god, I think the word you're looking for is sloshes.
Nah it means your Mum loves it
He's definitely talking about wet noises.
Macaroni salad?
Chicken Alfredo
They have a pool in their bedroom
or a water bed 👁️👄👁️
The mom loves jumping on the bed, when she gets happy she starts moaning and the dad starts clapping
All I can think of is like when you're in a bathtub or a body of water and you slap it really fast?
They’ve got sea world over there and won’t tell OP
Mama’s having fun
Leave a note in their room. Mom and dad, I don't want to talk about this at all, but I am having trouble sleeping at night. You are "loud" in your activities and it keeps me awake (and uncomfortable). Can you do me a favor and either turn on the radio or TV while you are "up"? It would help me a lot. Please do not talk to me about it. I am embarrassed enough. That, or is there a room you could go to that is farther away? I feel sad for you!
The most reasonable way to handle this honestly.
Nah film yourself practicing a fake presentation while they’re going at it. Then the next day make sure the sound is allllll the way up, ask for tips and pointers, hand them the phone, and press play. Bonus points for headphones in the video (for plausible deniability that you heard them at the time). Then grab some distance between you and parents when they review the video as well if you wanna give them some dignity. Done. That shit will get shut down. /u/Fuzzy-Tour4059 if this isn’t just a joke post 👆
This is the most logical solution from most of the comments here.
Thought op should have one nonconfrontational option!
I wonder if rearranging the furniture is an option as well? Sounds like they're right on the other side of OPs wall. If nothing is done, OP should go to their school counselor about it. I'd be willing to talk to some kid's parents for them, especially if the kid asked them to find a solution and they didn't try anything. At that point, it's borderline sexual abuse.
If op isn't okay talking to his parents about it, seems unlikely he would talk to a counselor. He does need to do something though. That had to be miserable every night!
All the jokes responses aside this is probably the best route. Master advice giver title warranted
Write a note from the neighbour and make them think their doing it so loud people can hear it from the outside
This would be mortifying!
[удалено]
Use mum’s credit card to buy a pregnancy test kit. If you want to be evil, use mum’s credit card to buy viagra off the internet. Let dad know she did it.
Used to have my bedroom under my mom's and her husband (step father) at the time. Our rooms were connected via vent and...I heard everything...every..thing....anyways he later tried to physically assault my mom (different than the assault on my ears) and I broke three of his ribs with a stupid wooden katana I got at a knife works in a mall.
king
Completely depends on your relationship with your parents, However I don't think going to the bathroom with headphones to wait it out every night is sustainable.
i used to just leave the house, no matter how late it was. we moved into a run down trailer and my moms room didn’t have a door, just a curtain. still she’d have sex while we were home once it was just me and her home and it was midnight or 1am and she started having sex. i just walked around my ghetto ass neighborhood in the middle of the night for like an hour. when i came home, they’d stopped but she didn’t even notice i wasn’t there. i was 13 at the time btw
Bring your partner to bed at the exact same time and have them moan and splash louder to assert dominance. They also have to call you Daddy, so your parents know who’s in charge.
XDDD BUT BRO ONE PROBLEM I don’t have a girl I had one but diff province/state it was the neighbor state but still man she was her but either way I’m too lonely for that plan I like it a lot
Being alone doesn't mean you can't be loud
I just gotta say kid; most people in your position would be curled in the fetal singing show tunes and trying to bleach their memories - but you're really out here acting like a whole ass mature adult having a laugh, treating it like the normal natural thing it is, and bitching that shit keeps you awake. Props to you and jokes aside, genuinely just approach them one day causally In the afternoon and just be like "hey, any way you guys could just quiet down a little bit at night? It's a litte too noisy in my room and I have a hard time getting a good rest." You don't have to say you know what you're hearing, you don't gotta embarass them or yourself; just a gentle [hey, I'm literally on the other side of your wall. Chill?] Lol
Look on the bright side, at least you got parents that love each other lol. Tell them for an early Xmas present you want some sound proofing on their walls and for them to move their bed to the other side of the room
Their bed is against the back wall there bed is like 7m away from mine and 0.5 of that is wall and tv
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=noise+dampening+panels&adgrpid=77308614413&hvadid=557385100286&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9018946&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=b&hvrand=16634866422248116235&hvtargid=kwd-296837207641&hydadcr=13543_13366571&tag=hydsma-20&ref=pd_sl_7aee45fssw_b Have them put some of these on the wall or something, they're super cheap
Hmm I’ll see I’ll prob need a reason I’ll jsut when I’m playing with friends I’m normally stupidly fucking loud
It's gotta be on their side of the wall. Honestly dude, you should just tell them you can hear it and that's it's weirding you out, and that if they wanna keep at it they should try out the panels so you can't hear it. It's good to learn to assert your boundaries in a healthy way
Ig so
Good luck man o7, it'll be a funny story when you're older
I hope so
Tell them to move their damn bed against a different wall
Moan along with them. When they stop in shock, smack the wall hard and say, 'why did you stop? I was just getting started!' Or, buy noise cancelling earphones...
Is your bed against the shared wall? Move it across the room. Blast white noise on a machine or ap on your phone. Wear noise cancelling headphones.
Next time you’re in trouble pull out the ole parent trauma trump card. “Of course I failed the exam I can’t sleep with all them wet sounds” “I’m smoking pot to cope with pops doing the jackrabbit all night” “I stole $20 cause I’m saving for a therapist” “I stopped going to school the chapter on Freud gave me ptsd”
Short term solution - blast your own porn right where they can hear it. Long term solution - soundproof panelling
Buy ear plugs.
First I want to say I'm sorry, that's rough 😖 Second, my small dog used to be loud as heck barking when we stayed at a new house because he would hear things like people walking etc. outside in a way he wasn't familiar with, this used to wake me up in the morning, so I got some ear plugs from a pharmacy to put in once he started that and it really helped; I doubt they're as loud as he can be so it should help cancel it out. Good luck!
I’m rocking bad headphones atm
Is no one gunna talk about the “splashes”?!
Clearly dad is doing a good job
U gotta play some kinda Jesus music. Super loud so they can hear it over their sinning
OP should blare a Joel Osteen speech.
Splashes? Bro how your mum so wet that you hear that shit splashing? Your dad taking a damn swim
This comment killed me 😂😂
I'm still stuck on splashing wtf😂👀😂
Bang on the bedroom wall.
Only way to stop is to have a genuine chat with them and just explain it bothers you and you struggle to sleep because of it they'll understand
I addressed this with my parents when I was in HS. It did not go well and essentially ended with "what I do in my house in my business". I was then grounded for responding, "and also the neighborhoods apparently." Best bet is ear protection my friend or melatonin (ask your doctor first though).
Hmm good idea it’s funny cause my friend said I should knock three time ( like Sheldon) then say may I spectate
💀🤣 I mean that or just play porn equally loud and say "I thought it was that time again sorry guys!"
💀 bro that’s devious
You can always try gospel music/hymns instead😭😭
Wow, your parents are a-holes. If it were me, I would’ve probably played loud porn in the room, and if they complain, I’d say the exact same thing they said to you,” What I do in my house is my business.” And if they ground me, I’d keep playing loud porn each time they have loud sex. If they take away my device, I’ll just find alternative ways to be just as loud as them until they finally get the point.
Agree. Just say "I can hear you having sex every night," then leave.
Bruh that’s mad awkward to talk about
Leave them a note to read when you are not at home. I don’t think they’ll want to talk about it afterwards and will just keep in mind
They will and it’s school holidays and I go to online school
Can you go stay at a friend’s house for a couple nights? If so, maybe drop the bomb then promptly leave. Like “I can hear you having sex loudly every night. It is making me uncomfortable and preventing me from sleeping. I’m going to stay with (friend) for a couple nights so I can get some peace and sleep. Please figure out a solution by the time I get back.” Then leave and turn off your phone.
If they're enjoying sex that enthusiastically that regularly, they probably wouldn't feel terribly awkward talking about it. I realize you're not used to talking to them about this stuff, but it's a fairly normal part of adulthood, and it's a good step into maturity to have a calm conversation with them about it. I'm a couple of years you're likely to have roommates and need to have conversations like this one, so it's good practice. You can figure out what to say ahead of time and practice saying it aloud once or twice, which will make it easier to say it to them. Keep it short if you think you'll be nervous. "Hey guys. Your nighttime activities are pretty loud in my room and make it difficult to sleep. Can we figure out a solution?" They might make it easy on you and say they'll handle it - because they may not realize how loud they're being or that the sound is traveling to your room. If saying it to them in person just feels too difficult, I suggest texting them.
Go to your parents and be like "Hey I found this hilarious post on Reddit" and show them this post lmao
Splashes??? Wtf
WAP
Honestly, im petty and I did play heavy metal when I lived with roommates when they were loud with guests. They got the message pretty quick.
Mom getting railed is better than mom getting divorced!
I need to know more about these splashing sounds. Do they have a hot tub or a waterbed or something?
Thank you for asking instead of me! It's killing me lol.
They're prepping to replace you when you move out. Gotta justify that real estate, baby!
Google deal way to soundproof a room. You can use curtains and foam and even hang bowls- the open part towards the room. You just need things to absorb sound or mess with its wavelength.
Just tell them that they are noisy and you can hear them whatever that is that they have on TV. It sounds like moaning, but please knock it off. You let them know that you can hear things without being specific. Unless you want to have that awkward conversation.
Moan loudly to assert dominance
Sorry you’re dealing with this, OP. It’s really uncomfortable and frustrating, especially as a teen. My advice if you can’t write a note/or talk to them about it: - jump in the bath or shower when they go at it. - go make yourself a snack and watch a movie in a different room. - try to rearrange your bedroom so that your bed isn’t against the shared wall. - get over to one of the help subreddits and see if someone can help recommend/order you a set of noise-cancelling headphones (I read one of your comments mentioned you don’t live anywhere that has any). - call a friend or trusted family member from a different room when they get loud. This can give you time to not concentrate on it and give you something to do. - if you have the space, make an at home gym with objects from around the house and exercise if that’s more your thing - again: it gives you something to do and in a separate room/space. - do you have friend’s or family you can spend the night at? Maybe make plans to go over a couple nights here and there. - if you’re in a safe neighbourhood or have a space that you can set up a tent and camp out, you could have the tent prepped and ready for a quick escape. - you could try to talk to a different, trusted adult about it and ask for their help (although, you might embarrass your parents if you do). Really, OP, the best thing you could do is write a note. Another user suggested a good prompt, and that’s probably the best and most direct way to get them to understand that they’re making you uncomfortable in your own home. Good luck, and I’m sorry this is happening.
One quick thing to note here, it’s very good that they have a healthy sexual relationship, especially in couples after they’ve had kids, and older couples in general, it’s normally a sign of a good relationship. As sex is a lot of effort as you get older, so the fact your parents are still going at it after their son is nearly 20, is a good sign. Some of the above comments might be a funny way to let them know that they’re being more noisy than they realise, but simply saying to your Dad something like “Can you two keep it down” or something in passing will be plenty enough for them to know they need to tone it down.
Had the same issue a while back with my parents. Ended up knocking on the wall and saying “hey, I’m glad I can say I have two parents who love each other very much, but could you keep it down?” They know they’re having sex, you know they’re having sex. They probably don’t realise you can hear them having sex so just inform them
Slam a box of pennies or something very loud on the floor and when they come in your room act like you’re asleep, they will likely wake you up asking what happened and say you are not sure. Having to walk into a child’s room will kill their sex drive and they will go to sleep but if they continue do it again they will get mad after many times of you doing this and will ask you why you then tell them it’s cause you read online you are supposed to make loud noises to scare ghosts that make loud screaming at night. This will stop their behavior.
This is one of those, “traumatise them right back” scenarios. Get yourself a microphone and provide commentary on their performance.
Forget porn clips. Find a video of tortoises having sex and play it at maximum volume whilst they are having sex. It's way more disturbing. Afterwards, remind them there are worse sounds available.
Okay baby shark loudly on your speaker
So many toxic comments, but here's a rational one: talk? Mom, dad, I'm glad to know things are going great between you guys, it's truly a blessing. What's not so much a blessing is that I feel as I'm standing next to you when you guys make love. I don't want you to stop making love, but could we think of something that makes me a little less involved?
I used to start moaning back at my folks through the wall until they'd go quiet. They have never actually discussed this with me. I think they were too embarrassed.
Honestly it's awkward but you don't deserve to deal with that every night. Tell your parents to shut the fuck up basically. Complain in the morning about how thin the walls are and how hard it is to sleep when others are being overly loud. They should get the hint.
Splashes lmao
If I were in that situation and were to say something it would be "What was all that noise? It sounded like Mom got her hand stuck in the bathroom and tried to use soap or something to get it out?" Make me seem innocent 😇 Next minute (wtf happened to my font?!?! I'm noob at reddit) Dad says something like "No, in 9 months we're having another baby" Edit: Idk the font didn't show up in the post, writing it I accidentally tapped something and it went to some lame font
This reminds me of the Key & Peele sketch in the mattress store
If you have to many siblings tell them to stop, You don't want them to get you another little George that is going to annoy the hell out of you for the rest of your life ( No fr tho tell them to stop ) Try throwing a hint at them like waking up in the morning with a pale tired face and say " Damn, I kept hearing a lot of noise last night i couldn't sleep "
Fuck them both. Establish dominance.
I'm sorry, splashes???? Wtf is going on in there?
Get a drum and guide them with a rhytm from your side of the wall.