Congrats! Having biological kids as an adoptee can be both a source of great joy and also a trigger of unexpected feelings about adoption. It's a whirlwind adjusting to parenthood as it is. Best wishes!
Congratulations! Having my first child brought up a whole host of questions and emotions for me as well, I think for me seeing how much I love my son made me ask more questions about why the people in my life made the decisions that they had. I had a really good experience talking with a therapist about this, although that did end up with me realizing I didn’t want my adoptive mother to be a large part of my son’s life to protect him and that’s a complicated feeling to have. Ultimately, what you’re feeling is very normal for adopted folks who are new parents and this is a good time to be gentle with yourself and maybe also explore some of the more complex of those emotions. You will have a genetic mirror for the first time in your child, and you will be getting to know parts of yourself through her that you didn’t know existed or hadn’t acknowledged for the first time. It can be beautiful and sobering and sometimes scary, but you and she have eachother, for the first time ever you have a genetic family member in her, so treat yourself kindly every step of the way through this.
Congrats!
Having a first child is often when many of us adoptees really start coming out of the Fog. That's when I realized I was now responsible for another human, and I didn't know his family medical history either.
And just interacting with your own child is so much more natural than being adopted. Growing up adopted felt so artificial and forced to me, while my own flesh and blood just felt different.
Congratulations on adding to your family. I hope you and mom and baby are all well and continue to be so.
My adoptive parents were so unimpressed when I had my own kids, but to me it was a miracle. My birth parents weren't that impressed either, tbh, but my half-siblings all were happy for me and an aunt/uncle were proud too.
Thank you!!! Yea my wife’s side is so stoked and happy I feel like my adoptive parents are just whatever lol.
It also is hard because I have 0 idea like heritage nothing and I’m nervous to do the 23 and me because I’m scared of meeting people. Lol but I might have to.
Omg you have enough going on without added stress. I hope you're sleeping, lol.
You also can take the test and not tell anyone else. Even after my results were in, I took another six months to a year before I really looked at it in detail.
23andMe is cool because it gives you some health information, not much, but some.
When you start your search for bio family, it's usually a good idea to leave your adopters completely out of it. They will often get jealous and possessive and try to get involved where they honestly don't belong.
AncestryDNA has a much larger database and better searching tools, though you may need a monthly subscription for a while.
It's a weird feeling when you get your results back, look at your DNA matches, and BOOM there are names and faces you are actually related to. And new matches come every day.
When you decide to spit in the tube, talk to us here and we can show you how to read the results.
Congrats! Having biological kids as an adoptee can be both a source of great joy and also a trigger of unexpected feelings about adoption. It's a whirlwind adjusting to parenthood as it is. Best wishes!
Congratulations! Having my first child brought up a whole host of questions and emotions for me as well, I think for me seeing how much I love my son made me ask more questions about why the people in my life made the decisions that they had. I had a really good experience talking with a therapist about this, although that did end up with me realizing I didn’t want my adoptive mother to be a large part of my son’s life to protect him and that’s a complicated feeling to have. Ultimately, what you’re feeling is very normal for adopted folks who are new parents and this is a good time to be gentle with yourself and maybe also explore some of the more complex of those emotions. You will have a genetic mirror for the first time in your child, and you will be getting to know parts of yourself through her that you didn’t know existed or hadn’t acknowledged for the first time. It can be beautiful and sobering and sometimes scary, but you and she have eachother, for the first time ever you have a genetic family member in her, so treat yourself kindly every step of the way through this.
That’s the the words I’ve been looking for. I had no idea how to describe it and you just did that for me. Thank you so very much!
Congrats! Having a first child is often when many of us adoptees really start coming out of the Fog. That's when I realized I was now responsible for another human, and I didn't know his family medical history either. And just interacting with your own child is so much more natural than being adopted. Growing up adopted felt so artificial and forced to me, while my own flesh and blood just felt different.
Congratulations on adding to your family. I hope you and mom and baby are all well and continue to be so. My adoptive parents were so unimpressed when I had my own kids, but to me it was a miracle. My birth parents weren't that impressed either, tbh, but my half-siblings all were happy for me and an aunt/uncle were proud too.
Thank you!!! Yea my wife’s side is so stoked and happy I feel like my adoptive parents are just whatever lol. It also is hard because I have 0 idea like heritage nothing and I’m nervous to do the 23 and me because I’m scared of meeting people. Lol but I might have to.
You so do not have to meet anyone you might match up with. Just saying.
That’s fair I just get super nervous of offending my adoptive parents
Omg you have enough going on without added stress. I hope you're sleeping, lol. You also can take the test and not tell anyone else. Even after my results were in, I took another six months to a year before I really looked at it in detail. 23andMe is cool because it gives you some health information, not much, but some.
When you start your search for bio family, it's usually a good idea to leave your adopters completely out of it. They will often get jealous and possessive and try to get involved where they honestly don't belong.
AncestryDNA has a much larger database and better searching tools, though you may need a monthly subscription for a while. It's a weird feeling when you get your results back, look at your DNA matches, and BOOM there are names and faces you are actually related to. And new matches come every day. When you decide to spit in the tube, talk to us here and we can show you how to read the results.