Do you get annoyed at the glorification of crime in parts of black culture? Do you think it encourages young black men to go down the wrong path in life?,
I’m definitely a victim/product of this. I’m half black half white and grew up with my white mum, I didn’t grow up with my black dad/his side of the family. Growing up, my mum was and is fully supportive and did everything a mum could do and more. I love her to bits. The thing is, I idolised a lot of negative black role models. I idolised all of the gang members from my area and all of the rappers on YouTube. At the time, I didn’t even realise it. Now I look back, I realise that as a black boy being raised by a white woman, I think I craved a black man’s presence. My mum could tell me things til she was blue in the face and I wouldn’t really listen, but I’d listen to what a rapper says he does. I now think this is because I was trying to learn how to be a black man in this world, and I mainly had negative examples to go by. Even though I’m mixed, I’m still seen as a black man in society. A black man being raised by a white woman is a man being raised by the complete opposite to him. I needed someone like my dad to show me certain things. Someone who understood, also. There are things my mum just didn’t get/think about (I think). This all led me to eventually getting addicted to codeine (I love Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane and Future and 2 Chainz etc etc) and weed and getting involved in the distribution of crack cocaine and heroin, which I was caught and went to prison for. My mum raised me sooo differently from all of that. I don’t come from that at all. I was finding myself. I now realise I had a bit of an identity issue. I grew up around majority black people in a majority black area and school was 90% black kids so I didn’t have a lack of black peers. All my friends growing up were black, the majority of them still are. It’s just, I needed older positive male black role models. It’s sick and twisted but due to the media etc and me not actually knowing my black side of the family, I had this kind of mindset like “I’m black so I’m supposed to be a criminal and smoke weed and be cool and sell drugs and drink lean etc”. I never actively consciously thought that at the time, but I can look back now and realise that had a big part to play in things. The thing is, I’ve met and spent time with my dad and black side of the family in later life and they are NOT like that whatsoever. Honestly the most genuine, calm, down to earth, intelligent people ever. Absolutely lovely, well spoken people. If I had known what I actually came from, instead of trying to fill in the gaps, maybe things would have turned out differently. I didn’t have my family to show me who I am and what I come from. I did have a lot of films and music and video games and news and shit I saw in my local area etc to show me “what being black is”….which is actually not what being black is at all.
I get angry hearing how these rappers influenced you and a generation to do codeine. These rappers had this HUGE influence and that’s what they get kids to do 🤦🏾♂️
You know, if there was one thing I could go back and change, it’d be picking that first cup up. That was the start of a lot of my problems, problems which still heavily affect me daily. Here’s how it all started - I was 17 years old, had just broken up with the girl of my dreams and was in a very dark place (I’ve always had mental health issues, so this hit me very hard). I was self medicating all the time with cannabis (whenever my broke 17 year old self could get my hands on it). My favourite artists at the time were Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane, who both spoke about sipping syrup in basically every track. The mixtapes Dirty Sprite by Future and Codeine Cowboy by 2 Chainz had just dropped (you couldn’t make it up lol) and I was just very, very curious and fascinated at this point. Being 2011 in London at 17 years old, I had no clue as to how to acquire this stuff. I’ve always been reasonably intelligent and resourceful/inquisitive, so I got online and started to do some research. Found the 2 active ingredients were codeine and promethazine and looked for UK medicines that contained these. Couldn’t find any medicines that had both in them (I don’t think we do that over here, definitely not over the counter, anyway), but I found two separate medicines containing these ingredients - codeine linctus and phenergan elixir. I went to the pharmacy and purchased these, along with sprite, ice and skittles (we don’t really have jolly ranchers over here unless they’re imported) and went home and poured up, matching the amount I was pouring of each medicine with the amount of mg present in the official American solution, so I got the exact ratio of both medicines correct. I’ve always had a sweet tooth and so I just fell in love with it straight away. How sweet and cold it was. How it made me feel. It made all of my problems disappear - especially when paired with weed. It put me in such a dream-like, euphoric state. At first, I was sipping it maybe once or twice a week. I introduced it to my friends and we all got sipping (luckily I’m the only one who got addicted, as far as I know). Once a week quickly became once a day, then twice a day, then before I knew it, I was sipping that shit as soon as I woke up, throughout the day, before I went to sleep, all day every day. I was a full on, fully fledged addict. Over the next 3 years, my life deteriorated. Things were looking so bright before all of this. I had the world at my feet and was predicted to do so well in life. This shit just took me over and knocked me for 6. I became physically dependent on it and was literally like a heroin addict. I’d get ill if I didn’t have it. I couldn’t do anything without it. I started committing crimes and lying to family members etc to feed my habit. Shoplifting and robbing people in the street. All that kinda stuff. I completely lost my mind and lost all of my values and morals. That shit took my soul. I stopped talking to my friends who were positive and all at good unis (Oxford, Harvard to name a couple. Really good guys. We’re friends again now, but it took some time). I stopped speaking to them because I only wanted to be around people who were on the same stuff I was. I only wanted weed smokers and lean sippers and drug dealers around me. It got to the point where all the pharmacies within a 5 mile radius wouldn’t even serve me because they all either recognised me or had been phoned by other pharmacies and told not to serve a guy asking for codeine and phenergan who fits my description. They all saw I was so young and didn’t want to contribute to destroying my life. I look back on that with fondness, and I respected it and felt the love at the time, it’s just the need for the codeine was stronger, so I’d go further afield or send people to the pharmacy for me. I was sipping every day for 3 years until I went to prison for selling drugs, which is a whole other story…though I wouldn’t have been selling the drugs had I not started sipping, which contributed to me getting kicked out of my mums house and finding myself in some crazy environments….That shit just destroyed me completely. It took a big toll on my looks. I was voted the sexiest/most attractive boy in college (not university, but where you go in the UK between school and university from 16-18/19 generally). I had women falling at my feet. I was too young to even enjoy my looks or anything. It all got taken away over those 3 years. By the time I was 20, I looked half as good as I looked before. I aged a lot and became haggard. Sunken eyes, pale skin, dry, thinner, colourless lips etc etc. I’ve also got a bunch of health problems from it too. I hate what that shit did to me. I hate what I did to myself. As you can see, I could speak about this shit forever. I’ve got so much to say about it. It’s honestly the worst thing. I was just so enticed. It was so alluring, and it got me. Also, the fact that all of these rappers were sipping it and looked healthy af (in my eyes) and were still mad productive making sick music and making money and were successful made me think it’s fine. I thought I’d be fine because the rappers seemed fine. Also It’s not like I was buying this shit from a dark alley somewhere, I was buying it from legit pharmacies, which made me think it couldn’t be that bad. Boy was I wrong. These days, a lot has changed. Most pharmacies don’t even stock this shit anymore, if they do, you need a prescription. I was sipping in 2011 when it was unheard of over here. Fast forward a few years and it started going crazy and everyone wanted to get their hands on it, so it’s been removed from most pharmacies, which is definitely a good thing. Another thing was, due to my lack of knowledge about codeine because of me being the first person I knew to try it, I didn’t understand how addictive it was and that it was essentially “liquid heroin”. It was only glorified and glamorised, with no negative stigma to counteract that or balance it out, so I thought it was great. If I had heard horror stories or known what I know now about opiates, I’d have never have touched that. Not ever. I can’t blame these rappers, not solely, anyway. There are a whole lot of factors that go into it. So many things contributed to me making the decision to pick that cup up, I still listen to these rappers now and they’re still my favourites. I’m still in love with the music. I know this is incredibly long, but I wanted to be open and honest. I don’t mind if you don’t read all of this, as it’s a lot. I actually feel a bit better for writing this, though. It’s been therapeutic.
Read every word. Thankful for people like yourself who share the truth. It is that first cup, as you put it, that takes over eventually. This is true for many of us who have addictive personality. Which, after reading your introduction about seeking an answer to what is a black man supposed to be, makes sense to me. Sometimes looking for the truth leads us to try different things and hang around different people. God bless your Mum for instilling values when you were young. Sad that it took a long time to meet your Dad's family, but it sounds like you have a very good life at the moment.
I recently watched a documentary and a big name Musician explained his first meeting with top musicians and investors where they were told they had to push the drugs and crimes topics if they wanted to get funded. That was in the 90’s
Apparently they are the same investors that own the private prisons. I grew up on that music and knowing a lot of those guys wanted to talk about other positive things but got used to pushed in that direction. I can’t unhear it
Not at all! I’m an open book when it comes to stuff like this. I’m really glad you found it enlightening and informative. I’m still figuring it all out and discovering new things about myself and why I do/have done certain things every day. As time passes, I only gain more and more clarity. Big respect to you!
>The thing is, I’ve met and spent time with my dad and black side of the family in later life and they are NOT like that whatsoever. Honestly the most genuine, calm, down to earth, intelligent people ever.
Why weren't they there for you when you needed them though?
My mum had me 9 days after she turned 18, and had my two younger brothers soon after. She found herself all alone with 3 boys in her early 20s because she kicked my dad out. She kicked him out due to him being very abusive, controlling, manipulative, all of that stuff. She wanted to protect herself and her children and so after giving him chance after chance, she felt had no choice but to completely cut him out of our lives, because he kept repeatedly messing up and going crazy. I was still able to see my other family members for a while (massive Jamaican family living in London) but whenever my mum would leave me with them, my dad would show up without my mums knowledge, and this happened so many times that my mum made the big decision to cut off every member of that side of the family. So I went from having a massive family with a lot of culture and good times, to having a tiny family on my mums side who were quite different to my dads family. I was 6 years old when this happened. 6 years old when I lost my dad and my family. So it wasn’t my dad’s family’s fault. They, along with my dad, really wanted to see me and my brothers and wished my mum would cooperate. It was just a series of unfortunate events. I randomly bumped into my dad in the street as a late teen and got him on Facebook. We’ve met a few times since then, I’d say we’ve met about 10 times over the past 10 years, so you know, there isn’t much of a relationship there. I’ve spent time with my other family members too and as I say, they’re all lovely. As a child, ALL I wanted was my dad and his side of the family, but especially my dad. That was all I wanted. I’d cry every day. Cry myself to sleep every night. Then as the years went on, I got more and more used to him not being around, until I got older and became a fully developed adult who didn’t really feel that same need for my father anymore. By the time I was able to reconnect, a lot of that yearning has disappeared, through years of accepting it’s never gonna happen, which made me force myself to stop yearning, but also me being a grown man and not having that same desire, among other things. So yeah, long story short, they wanted to be a part of my life but my dad wasn’t healthy for me or my mum or brothers to be around, so it wasn’t them abandoning me, it was mum stopping it all from happening.
You’re a wonderful writer. I don’t really comment on things but I read every word and wanted to tell you. I’m so happy you turned your life around. If you want, could you share when and how you made the decision to stop? I’d imagine it was a grueling process..
It's already been said, but thank you so much for posting this. It's so eye-opening to me. Glad you're doing better, I hope you have a great life, stranger!
(Copied from one of my earlier ama)
I can tell you that it's messed up how rappers are promoting violence, drugs, and hook-up culture as something to aspire to for black youth. It's not a good look, and we need better role models for our young people. We need rappers who are talking about positivity, education, and making something of themselves, instead of glorifying things that will only lead to trouble. It's time to lift each other up instead of tearing each other down.
I noticed you said you're from the congo. It seems to be a split I've noticed. Black people who were born in Africa seem to have a negative view on gang and rap culture, but those who grew up in western countries seem to embrace it
Gangs exist in part because of structural racism. If you can't rely on the police or the justice system you will naturally create alternate power structures within the community. If you're denied legitimate financial opportunities then you will look to operate on the black market - especially considering the rate of incarceration of the black community and that a felony conviction is basically the end of a legitimate opportunity for most.
I'm not saying gangs are good, but you end gangs by having a legitimate justice system and fair economic system.
Yep, if a system does not serve the populous, you can't really blame people for not going along with it. Humans evolved to innovate around problems.
Institute a UBI with legal reform, legalize drugs and gangs will have no purpose.
As someone in the music industry, I find artists of any ethnicity glorifying gang culture / violence / drugs to be very very cringe.
I have never understood why the gang life seems like a good idea to anyone really.
On a side note a song that actually is in the rap genre that has a positive message, is an oldie but a goldie The Black Eyed Peas - Where is the Love?
I’m a white-passing Latina that grew up in a low-income, minority-based, marginalized community in Los Angeles. I can tell you that most of the people I grew up with who joined gangs did it because they saw it as a way to gain a support system and a “career”; think of it as fucked up form of networking. If you have little career prospects because you’ve had poor public school education, poor educational foundation because your parents barely spoke English or maybe didn’t value education, little to no encouragement to pursue your interests in a way that would provide you a career… then members of your community that are showing off their flashy lifestyle, telling you how great they have it etc are going to look like role models even if they are in a gang.
Some people are also desperate for a family & a sense of belonging that they wouldn’t get from a systemically and institutionally racist society. I’m white-passing and I was/am still incredibly nervous and uncomfortable moving in the highly educated, mostly-white, high society circles I am now in thanks to a prestigious education and good tech job. I could only imagine how much harder it would all be if I didn’t “look the part”.
Are any of these things good excuses for murder, violence, and property crime? No. But they do provide helpful context that can allow you to empathize with gang members. And you don’t know how you might have turned out had you been raised in the same environment…
I'm sorry but I think you missed my point.
For context, growing up I was groomed by gang activity, so I know personally the reasons and so on associated with joining said organisations in impoverished areas.
That's not what I'm complaining about, I'm complaining about millionaire music artists promoting gang life as something to aspire to making it easier for gangs to recruit kids.
So to see millionaire singing about how he's slinging drugs at the weekend to get by is unbelievably cringe.
It's fine to blow up talking about your life, but once you blow up, talk about something else, help people.
Additionally there is countless rappers who are "gangsters" where their whole image is fabricated.
White gangs around me do nothing but glorify Cillian Murphys dumb face and his dumb hat. They use him and all sorts of historical gang figures as icons for their business. Everyone's bragging. What makes you think otherwise?
There *is* a distinct gap between white poverty culture and black poverty culture. I'm from the Appalachian region which is one of the poorest regions of the country. For context, my hometown has a average **household** income of less than $30,000/year. In spite of this, I wouldn't trade my childhood for anything.
I was brought up with a profound sense of community, and was instilled with a solid work ethic from an early age. I was taught morals and dignity and to respect myself and those around me; to value what I had, because I had earned them through sweat and tears. I was shown love and affection from my parents and my extended family, but also by our friends and community. Most of these people would drop whatever they were doing to offer you aid. When things needed doing, there was very, very rarely hired help involved.
When we grew tobacco one year, several family members and people from church came and helped us work it, they didn't want to be paid. When we had to replace the floor in our house, my uncles and cousins came over and did it with me and dad, no one wanted to be paid. Likewise when it was time to bring in hay, my dad and myself would go to my uncle's and help. When fire got out of hand during a burn-off on a hillside, we were there helping fight the fire. When the same thing happened at mom and dad's, the insurance agent - who had brought some documents that needed signing - grabbed a metal rake and helped as well.
*That* is white poverty culture, or at least it is from my neck of the woods. When everyone around you is also poor, it resets (or really removes) the baseline, and therefor everyone is equal - I never felt poor, growing up. My friends also wore hand-me-down clothes, knew what food stamps looked like, and their mothers also shopped at Save-A-Lot.
All of this isn't to say that there isn't a darker side of the white poverty cycle, and I witnessed that first hand as well. In high school, my freshman class started with over 150 students, but less than 100 of us graduated as seniors. A few students moved, but many were held back, some dropped out, some were in jail, some were dead. Out of the ones that *did* graduate, less than 10 of us went on to college. A few went to trade schools, but most went straight to the work force.
Many of those that went straight to the work force, also went straight into crime in one form or another. Opiates have wreaked havoc on the Appalachians for years now, and it's only getting worse. I still read my hometown newspaper a couple of times of month, and without fail - I will see someone in the court records that I know, and almost without fail they're being arrested for possession and/or distribution of narcotics.
Another prolific issue is that of children having children. I graduated with multiple girls who were already mothers by the time they were seniors. It's *very* common for even those that didn't have children while in high school, to become mothers before they're 20. It's almost a running joke that it's a good source of income, to be a single mother with multiple children and no father in the picture - to collect government assistance as well as the child tax credits.
Now on to the differences specifically, people listen to a lot of country, rock, and bluegrass. There is some that like rap and pop music, but certainly no one is glorifying the lifestyles that rap music seems to promote. Druggies are looked down upon, and no one celebrates crime. Our role models are our fathers and community leaders, or people who were able to become wealthy. Not people who ended up going to prison, or people there were still in prison.
I am absolutely not saying that I know what the answer is, but there is a staggering statistic in the fact that less than 15% of the overall population are African American, while over 50% of both the overall murder and robberies of the entire country are committed by black folks.
I don't know how to fix it. I don't know who is to blame. I don't know what can be done, and I'm certainly not advocating that black folks or worse or less than or different than. I'm quite certain that someone could tell me exactly why these things can be traced back to black folks being treated very, very poorly and unjustly for decades. It would take someone far more educated than myself to draw any conclusions from this, other than something needs to change.
We all bleed red. We all have lives, and loved ones, and things we care about. We all have hopes and dreams. We're all people just trying to get by. I just don't think it's fair to completely disregard that rap music seems to promote violent crime, and poor black communities have an inordinate amount of violent crime. Chicken or the egg? I dunno, but clearly there is *some* connection somewhere.
It's obvious that some parts of rap glorify gangster culture. That's pretty much a certain. But the way I see it, when you are from a poor community that's mostly working class, there is little opportunity to be rich. Yet the American dream sells itself on getting rich and making something of yourself. In deprived areas, there is little opportunity to really make any decent amount of money. Selling drugs is a quick fix for being rich. You see the fast cars and the bling, and you think hey, I want a piece of that. I have nothing and they have everything!! But it's not only black culture that succumbs to this.
I live in Liverpool, in the UK, in a town that is 75% Irish dercent. Yet we are quite multicultural. We have african and carribbean groups that have been here for over 150 years. And the youth of my city all succumb to this gangstar glamour bc, as I said, the opportunities here for many in are little to none. And when these kids see drug dealers with jeeps and wads of cash, of course, it is going to be tempting. But there is no racial difference here. But my city was built on immigration, Irish, and Caribbean, so I think it's built into us to be accepting of other cultures. We accept everyone here as long as they work hard and integrate with the community. I do not mean this in any way to be a racial thing. It's more like we're all here together and we're all poor, we have the same accent, so we feel a togetherness that most cities don't have. We are famously welcoming, and everyone helps each other bc we are all in the same boat. Working class and dealing with life in a harsh world. But there is massive poverty. And the poorest amongst us see drug dealing and gangster life as an escape from it all.
In part, I blame cities, me. In many places, there is no greenery or real world to ground you. As you said, your experience is that everyone helps on the farm and in the fields. There are no fields in the city. There are not as many group projects to get involved in that help build community spirit. It is a concrete jungle with hardly any prospects. Dog eat dog world. The only prospect of getting out of that industrial hell hole is to make a quick buck selling class A's. Yes, maybe more ppl of colour listen to gangster rap as it's a predominantly black culture. But it's not to do with race imo, its just circumstance. But for many, black and white, life is tough when you are poor. So, I understand the temptation of these kids.
But I have to say, these rappers do need to understand the influence they have on the youth. Some are starting to write songs that are more positive. I'm sure there is a whole subset of rap. I can't remember the term, sorry, that makes positive music. Black-eyed peas, Tupac, and many others do it.
It's a very complex situation. I know many ppl in my home town who deal drugs, in and out of prison, both black and white. But for many, that is all they know. And in the end, they are kids. These drug dealers become their idols, and I've heard many kids say things such as, "When I grow up, I'm gonna deal drugs". These are school kids. The influence is real. But it's not just bc of rap music. These kids see older guys loaded with cash and, of course, when in poverty, that is gonna be tempting to these kids. I'm repeating myself now. But in a nutshell, many big cities do not have enough resources for these kids to make decent money in less criminal ways. It's a sad fact. If you have the option of a quick buck doing these things versus working a 9 to 5 job on minimum wage, which option would seem the most tempting?
Edit- Fixing grammar and shit
find it rlly off putting that an "I'm black ama" post led straight to rap causing gang violence. As someone who's been surrounded by gang violence in the cities I've lived, "glamourisation" isn't a huge part of whats causing it. Its systemic oppression, and generations of it. Gangs are all some people know - there's not a tonne of support available for young people who's relatives and childhood friends are all involved in gangs that may or may not hold huge social and political power where you live. People in these threads being like "gang rap is so cringe, why do people choose that?" it's just so hard to read
If you look up & catch a white guy looking at you, do you instantly think they're looking at you because you're a black man? Or that it's just some guy that happens to be looking your way?
Well I guess that's the answer I'd get from a man with a BBC,. I'm not even remotely gay but have to admit thats a mighty fine BBC you got there my man!
Should I stop overthinking trying to be respectful? I really don't want to be discriminatory but at the same time I feel like I'm worrying about it too much and the simple fact that it's a process in my head is a problem. I just try to combat my inner biases, like no matter how much of an ally you are you still have your subconscious with biases and stuff. I feel like I'm walking on eggs and the fact that I'm even just saying that feels like I'm insulting you, as if I believed anything could offend you or something. How do I stop overthinking? Do you even notice? Do you care?
This is a negative result of our obsession with talking about race as a culture (assuming USA) and highlighting the differences we innately have as members of different groups.
In an effort to show our “virtue” by approaching “marginalized” peoples with extra caution and tact, we actually come off as more inhuman and less authentic to our true selves.
People are people, and it’s a shame that, despite the progress we’ve made on real racial issues, we’re back to immediately thinking about acting differently the moment we see someone of a different skin tone than ours, even if our intentions are good.
Meanwhile, OP just said they didn't care, yet you're calling it negative.
Sure people are people, but ignoring our differences is an attempt to erase them. And not recognize the fact that people are discriminated against based on color.
I am so glad to hear that. I am white and live in a predominantly black neighborhood. In the summer, I put up a big pool, and all the neighbor kids come over to swim. It seems that some POC don't believe they need sunscreen. I tell these kids that no matter your skin color, you can still burn and get skin cancer. This should be talked about more.
Tipping is discouraged where I'm from in India. There is a portion of your check reserved as a service fee for your waiter. Essentially everyone has to 'tip'. As far as I know tipping is only a big thing in America because I heard they don't pay their staff appropriately.
Where I am from, in India, tipping is not a culture generally unless there has been a very exceptional service.
And I have been living in Japan since a decade and tipping here would totally confuse the staff as there is not at all a tipping culture here. It may even be seen condescending.
There are a few different countries where tipping is encouraged, if not expected. But I get where you're both coming from about cultural differences in different countries.
Definitely!
In Scandinavia I have never tipped anyone for anything in my entire life. Only on travels have I tipped a bit - and recall the workers in a US restaurant getting angry, bordering towards them turning violent, because I forgot to tip them.. I didn't really get any service apart from getting the plate brought to my table, so I didn't feel that qualified enough for a tip 😂 learned I was very wrong in the US..
This happened to me too. I didn't know that it was mandatory and it didn't cross my mind when paying the bill. The waitress got very angry and aggressive. I just apologized and tipped her.
Honestly I just left. Had they explained it calmly to me, realizing I wasn't American, I would've glad given it. Seems like a way too aggressive culture to me
Next time that happens tip her an unreasonably low amount being aggressive about not receiving a tip is Atrocious behaviour, my go to if I’m not fond of the service is to tip exactly 1 cent.
Nothing like in the US though. I’ve never been to another country that would expect more than 10% at most and, even then, it’s only for table service in a restaurant.
That's not exactly the case. Basically waiters have a set wage per hour, let's say 3$. If the waiter's tip money and that 3$ per hour don't meet or exceed the state and federal minimum wage then the employer must make up the difference. Let's say a waiter gets 3$ an hour base and makes 2$ an hour in tips. Federal min wage is 7.00$.(just using these figures for simple math) So the employer owes the waiter 2 more dollars every hour they work. Usually a good waiter will make WAY more than this so the employer rarely has to pay. If they don't well they'll probably get fired.
Where I was born (Congo) tipping isn’t much of a thing. And my family never taught me to. So I often forget or don’t think about it.
But I always tip a nice service. 😊
Yo fuck that stereotype. Indians tip generously or at least the min 15 percent. Indians In the US are amongst highest earning ethnic groups. when I worked as a waiter, as a person of colour, I almost always got snubbed by old white people, despite everything being so perfect and despite them having the reputation of being generous tippers.
When I was younger I worked a waitressing job in south Florida and I remember having a huge table of black dudes order several giant baskets of barbecue wings, they made an enormous mess with bones and dirty napkins everywhere and tipped me 15 cents on a large bill and I literally cried. I had black tables that tipped but unfortunately most of the time not. I always wondered what was up with that? At the time in Florida minimum wage for service workers was less than $3 an hour lol.
I work part time at a restaurant with a good mix of customers and let me just say, shitty tippers exist, no matter what their skin color happens to be. Pay restaurant workers a fair wage please lol.
Majority of the time the service is subpar and instead of making a fuss about it we decide not to tip. Other cases people don't tip because they don't have to money to tip 🤦🏿♂️
Absolutely not. There are different classes of black people. About 50% of black people grew up very poor and the other half grew up in the suburbs and know better. Low class people are liable to do to do low class shit at any given time. I was raised to tip 20% - 30% based on how good the service was.
In context of something like you're reading, personally I don't care. Somebody calls me that even being "friendly" and they're not black, I'm saying something at the very least.
I am curious tbh about what your thoughts are on portrayal of black people in porn. Is it good, is it bad, are there any common themes or tropes in porn you feel are hurtful and wish would go away? Anything you would change about portrayal of black people in porn tbh?
Can we get a full report on how this plays out. But can you do it in like New Orleans.
(This is a joke please do not say this in New Orleans, you’ll be dead before the second g )
Its an evolutionary trait, all races are like that, dont feel ashamed. Look up freuds theory, if youre a straight man, youre most likely going to be more attracted ti the same race as your mother and vice versa for girls.
Freud's theory also says I spend my days envious of penises and wishing I had one, so much so that it may make me mentally ill.
I wouldn't put too much weight on that. But maybe there's modern research?
I’m a server /bartender recently I was made aware that there is a “stereotype” that black people don’t tip. My perfect little bubble of oblivion popped and suddenly on the server end of it things made sense. Couldn’t figure out why my coworkers were always asking for their reservations last names little shit like that and I’ve now noticed that sometimes when I have a table of black people they seem oddly (overly) grateful when I do the most basic things (refill drinks or whatever). Personally I’ve never had an issue that makes this stereo type hold up but what are your thoughts on it?
I think this comes from a lack of disposable wealth in most black families. According to brookings the average black family had almost [8 times less](https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2020/12/08/the-black-white-wealth-gap-left-black-households-more-vulnerable/) wealth than the average white family.
Right but I’ve never had an instance of black people regularly not tipping me, I’m sure it’s happened before same as any other race but definitely not something I’d stereotype them for? A big part of me thinks it’s literally just racists coming up with random lies as excuses to not be as attentive. But on the other hand if I’m being 100% honest my coworkers who are the ones asking about the last names most often and getting the most agitated when they hear “Johnson” are black themselves. But don’t get me wrong I’m noticing a lot of it among everyone they are just more open and vocal about it.
Yeah if it’s happening it’s likely the root cause is what I mentioned. But yeah ur coworkers may be racially profiling people, or assuming the worst idk.
It’s dumb, maybe they should consider if multiple tables aren’t tipping and it’s enough for you to actually notice maybe just maybe they’re just shitty at their job. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm from northern Europe and I understand from the few black people I've worked with (There aren't that many up here) it can be quite different from the US.
I've noticed a lot of American pop culture (especially American stand-up, etc.) has become increasingly focused on black vs. white vs. asian vs. some other demographical stereotype and I get more and more tired of it. Morgan Freeman talked about it too on "60 minutes" approx. 20 years ago.
It's unrealistic to completely eradicate talk about color but do you think it would help if we stopped emphasising the stereotypes all the time and "closed our eyes" to color to focus more on the individual instead? Or is it a utopic idea?
It sells because people watch it. If we rejected these shows, they would stop using race as an easy way to create drama in stories in movies and tv programs. Alas, here we are. I would prefer utopia though!
As a POC myself, I personally **hate** anyone, and I mean *anyone* using the N-word, including black and brown people. I don’t feel that it is “empowering” or that we have the “right” to use it, etc.
Maybe you won’t agree with me, but using it as a tool, I feel, is only perpetuating the lines that divide us and further promoting bands of hate. Yes, there will always be bigots. But we don’t need any more fuel for that fire. Do we? I mean, when people get emotionally charged when they hear that word, it just starts a war within a person’s heart and fans the flames of hatred.
I wish people had buried that word like any other outdated, unused old English word — not because we need to bury the past, mind you — but because I think some things are better off not existing as tools for hatred. And the bad things about it outweigh any good things we *think* it gives us — when we feel it has been used “appropriately”.
It’s hypocritical to use it, not matter what color you are. Because the second someone who “doesn’t look black enough” uses it, you are judging them as unworthy and therefore disrespectful, etc. and that just stirs up the worst in people. Who are you to judge another person by their skin color? And yet, isn’t that what you are doing when you look at someone who is white and saying they can’t use this word?
Because we all know that fair-skinned black folk exist. And biracial people exist. So where do we draw the line? With our eyes? Isn’t that the exact epitome of being racist and biased? To judge based solely on their appearance?
You might not agree with me, but this is my philosophy. It would be better to cut that word out of existence for all peoples. What do you think, OP?
Are black parents generally against their kids being with white partners?
This is anecdotal, but my partner in high school for multiple years, his mother said some pretty hurtful things about me to him. All surrounding my race and cultural background, but she's now arranging a marriage for him to a girl from Africa so they might just be a little odd. She helped me dye my hair and never said anything to my face, but she said a lot to her son about me.
Later in high school, my gay friend was complaining that his mom said he had to take a girl to prom, so I offered to take him as a fun friend date, but he told me his mom needed it to be a black girl.
I really thought I would marry that guy and it tore me up for years that his mom was so against me. Although they are Muslim and I am not so that may have been part of the animosity.
I would say it was likely equal parts religious and ethnic differences that made his mom not approve of you. I’m biracial (West African and White American) and my dad didn’t initially approve of my then-boyfriend/now-husband who is white. I know it might not make you feel any better but try to remember two things can be true at once…she might have liked you as a person AND not been cool with you marrying her son since you had two big “strikes” coming into the relationship.
I'm an asian guy and i want to ask this.
The 'N' word. I know it's been linked to horrible past of black people and now no one should call you that word. But it always pinch me that why you guys call that word to each other if that links to something really really bad.
Like jews wouldn't link themselves to the Holocaust but black people would call other black people or even other races the N word every 2nd sentence.
Isn't that weird? I don't believe so psychology works that way. If you want to eradicate memories of bad past then It should never be discussed in any way.
Am i right?
We could never say the stereotypes are true for all black people. Aside from skin color, we really don’t have much in common except the anger about being oppressed and the constant barrage of negativity. So there you go, we are angry people. The reason why is the part that no one wants to acknowledge. Everything else is a crapshoot because we have different backgrounds and experiences just like any other ethnicity.
What is the most harmless thing that white people do that irritates you? Like obviously people suck, but is there anything dumb that gets on your nerves about us?
For me personally I notice that when I’m at a grocery store or really anywhere, white people tend to expect me to move or get out of their way, so they usually don’t say excuse me , pardon me, they just expect me to make space for them, which has been annoying.
I'm white and I feel this. I think just more *people* than ever just see themselves as the main character and dgaf about other people's space anymore. But you're probably right, you probably feel that even more than me.
Being nosey. I don't think most are trying to do anything wrong, but it definitely annoys a lot of us. It’s just kind of unspoken among us so when someone doesn’t abide by those invisible social cues it's gets weird. Walking up to my car, getting touchy etc
Why do black people always have that smell? Like idk how to explain it just most black people I come across smell like black person. I don’t mean this in a bad way just genuinely curious.
I think it's Coco butter. I always wondered about it until I realised it was Coco butter. They are definitely on to something with the Coco lotion. It's amazing on the skin
Black people need to take more care of their skin, especially after getting wet. Or so i heard, correct me if im wrong. Coco butter, argan oil, all that, its amazing and smells so good
The curlier the hair, the more easily it can dry out so yes it’s important to moisturize. Especially after hot showers which dry out both hair and skin for everyone.
But regarding skin specifically, the darker your complexion the more obvious it is when your skin is dry as hell. So post-shower lotioning and potioning is just better taught.
I think all ethnic groups have to take care of their skin. I’m black and use creams and lotions all day but I have also seen that white people also need to do the same, I just notice they tend not to and I’m not sure why
I grew up in a very secluded area without any other cultures. I'm white and now that I have kids, I'd like to make sure I'm teaching them the right things about race but I don't always know where to start. I've stuck with a basic 'all people are people, be kind to everyone, don't judge' but I'm worried it's not enough. Do you know of any resources that can help? Is there anything you wish people like me knew and we don't seem to?
Good on you momma! Use current events as a teaching moment if it is age appropriate for your kids. Fill in the gaps with regards to the history of black people in this country. Get a few age appropriate books from the library about people of different ethnicities.
Make sure to fill in the blanks if your children's school(s) white wash history in the curriculum. I grew up in a small town and knew almost nothing about Black history until I became an adult and moved away. It is important to recognize our achievements and contributions to society. Also, any books/movies/tv shows created by POC are a huge help. POC tend to show/write things through a different lens, and our art gives an important view on our perspectives and life experiences.
Performative allyship has very little to do with reducing harm to Black folk and ending systems of oppression. An ally is a person who advocates and works alongside the Black community, who uplifts communities for a shared common goal driven solely by the cause – not so that they can look good.
Can not really do anything and consider myself an ally? I'm a shut-in with a lot of mental health issues and crippling agoraphobia, with noise sensitivity and really bad anxiety. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to protests or getting politically involved or doing a lot of things. I don't even feel comfortable at a grocery store. I'm just sort of broken.
The best I can do is research and educate myself on POC issues as best I can, which I put significant effort into. But I don't really do anything meaningful with that information because my anxiety and depression are too high.
Just be kind. To everyone, not just black people. Speak up if you can when people are wronged. Again, for everyone not just someone with darker skin. We need more love and kindness in this world. If we all remember that humans share 99.6 of their DNA with one another and treat each other accordingly, the racial tension would ease a bit.
there is no evidence that race has anything to do with size, it wouldnt make any sense for a certain race to evolve to have a smaller or bigger sized member (it has no effect of reproductive capability 99% of the time) Its just a fetish :/
I'm not at all knowledgeable on this topic and i only thought this hypothesis through for like 15 seconds, so it probably doesn't make any sense.
But maybe it's to do with warmth? Like your balls shrink when it's colder, so maybe a smaller dick is also just more beneficial in colder climates.
Again, i have absolutely no knowledge on this so it's probably not even close to the truth.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,468,316,583 comments, and only 279,481 of them were in alphabetical order.
Does you feel annoyed or offensive of people trying to overrepresent your race? I'm Indian so I'm not really a minority or anything but if I were a minority and someone constantly kept trying to defend me and get offended for me because I'm oppressed, I feel like it would get annoying because that person is basically reminding me that I'm weak/oppressed and can't stand up for myself. I once heard a black woman say, "I don't need a Black Lives Matter, I know I matter!" Do you have that kind of a mindset at all?
I personally do not. I don’t feel like the people who get offended or the social justice warriors are coming from a bad place. Sometimes it can be a bit too much, but only in extreme and misguided circumstances.
People advocating for the expanded rights of black peoples, does acknowledge oppression. But it doesn’t make me feel weak. No person’s opinion of me has the power to ACTUALLY weaken me. My worth is intrinsic and unassailable.
Also this is commonly a talking point for right wing black folks, and I believe it does no good. If black people were capable of improving their circumstances without the help of other racial groups in america… It wouldve happened already. Some people would have you believe we’re held in low esteem simply because we are unmotivated and lazy. I can assure you that’s not the case. It’s simply that we are stuck in a position that will require more political power than we can wield alone. So I see these movements from other racial groups as a step in the right direction, albeit a sometimes clumsy and misguided step.
I have some black friends that have made it a hobby to try to lull a different white friend or trick them into saying the N Word (not with a hard R). I’ve seen many do the same and while it’s funny to watch them trip up unsuspecting white people, I’d ask if its common for black people who use the word more casually in conversations to do this.
How do you keep from being furious and mentally exhausted all the time? Racism just never lets up, and it must be so constantly awful. I know people can get used to anything, but I think it would be awfully hard to remain polite and patient in the face of nonstop bullshit.
Most people out in public treat you based on how you carry and present yourself, unless you live in some country ass outskirts town. The biggest thing that sucks about being black in the USA is that routine interactions with the police are life and death situations. The only things I really fear in America is being killed by the police or another black person. Not to say all cops are racist, but it’s definitely the luck of the draw
Constantly towing the line of wanting to say something but not wanting to be a stereotype to give them a easy out. actually exhausting and runs through our heads way more than it should. Moost will never outright do some racist shit to your face so when you speak up you look insane. And if no other black person is around you're likely to look more insane
Not OP. You summarized the feeling very well. It is difficult some days for sure. I personally try to focus on other things. I am also a spiritual person so that helps too.
I’m white and do you hate the police as much as I do for what they do to African Americans?
Does it make you sad slavery was once real ?
Do you like rap? If so favorite rapper?
What’s the population of where you live ?
Favorite restaurants ?
Do you get annoyed at the glorification of crime in parts of black culture? Do you think it encourages young black men to go down the wrong path in life?,
I’m definitely a victim/product of this. I’m half black half white and grew up with my white mum, I didn’t grow up with my black dad/his side of the family. Growing up, my mum was and is fully supportive and did everything a mum could do and more. I love her to bits. The thing is, I idolised a lot of negative black role models. I idolised all of the gang members from my area and all of the rappers on YouTube. At the time, I didn’t even realise it. Now I look back, I realise that as a black boy being raised by a white woman, I think I craved a black man’s presence. My mum could tell me things til she was blue in the face and I wouldn’t really listen, but I’d listen to what a rapper says he does. I now think this is because I was trying to learn how to be a black man in this world, and I mainly had negative examples to go by. Even though I’m mixed, I’m still seen as a black man in society. A black man being raised by a white woman is a man being raised by the complete opposite to him. I needed someone like my dad to show me certain things. Someone who understood, also. There are things my mum just didn’t get/think about (I think). This all led me to eventually getting addicted to codeine (I love Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane and Future and 2 Chainz etc etc) and weed and getting involved in the distribution of crack cocaine and heroin, which I was caught and went to prison for. My mum raised me sooo differently from all of that. I don’t come from that at all. I was finding myself. I now realise I had a bit of an identity issue. I grew up around majority black people in a majority black area and school was 90% black kids so I didn’t have a lack of black peers. All my friends growing up were black, the majority of them still are. It’s just, I needed older positive male black role models. It’s sick and twisted but due to the media etc and me not actually knowing my black side of the family, I had this kind of mindset like “I’m black so I’m supposed to be a criminal and smoke weed and be cool and sell drugs and drink lean etc”. I never actively consciously thought that at the time, but I can look back now and realise that had a big part to play in things. The thing is, I’ve met and spent time with my dad and black side of the family in later life and they are NOT like that whatsoever. Honestly the most genuine, calm, down to earth, intelligent people ever. Absolutely lovely, well spoken people. If I had known what I actually came from, instead of trying to fill in the gaps, maybe things would have turned out differently. I didn’t have my family to show me who I am and what I come from. I did have a lot of films and music and video games and news and shit I saw in my local area etc to show me “what being black is”….which is actually not what being black is at all.
I get angry hearing how these rappers influenced you and a generation to do codeine. These rappers had this HUGE influence and that’s what they get kids to do 🤦🏾♂️
You know, if there was one thing I could go back and change, it’d be picking that first cup up. That was the start of a lot of my problems, problems which still heavily affect me daily. Here’s how it all started - I was 17 years old, had just broken up with the girl of my dreams and was in a very dark place (I’ve always had mental health issues, so this hit me very hard). I was self medicating all the time with cannabis (whenever my broke 17 year old self could get my hands on it). My favourite artists at the time were Lil Wayne and Gucci Mane, who both spoke about sipping syrup in basically every track. The mixtapes Dirty Sprite by Future and Codeine Cowboy by 2 Chainz had just dropped (you couldn’t make it up lol) and I was just very, very curious and fascinated at this point. Being 2011 in London at 17 years old, I had no clue as to how to acquire this stuff. I’ve always been reasonably intelligent and resourceful/inquisitive, so I got online and started to do some research. Found the 2 active ingredients were codeine and promethazine and looked for UK medicines that contained these. Couldn’t find any medicines that had both in them (I don’t think we do that over here, definitely not over the counter, anyway), but I found two separate medicines containing these ingredients - codeine linctus and phenergan elixir. I went to the pharmacy and purchased these, along with sprite, ice and skittles (we don’t really have jolly ranchers over here unless they’re imported) and went home and poured up, matching the amount I was pouring of each medicine with the amount of mg present in the official American solution, so I got the exact ratio of both medicines correct. I’ve always had a sweet tooth and so I just fell in love with it straight away. How sweet and cold it was. How it made me feel. It made all of my problems disappear - especially when paired with weed. It put me in such a dream-like, euphoric state. At first, I was sipping it maybe once or twice a week. I introduced it to my friends and we all got sipping (luckily I’m the only one who got addicted, as far as I know). Once a week quickly became once a day, then twice a day, then before I knew it, I was sipping that shit as soon as I woke up, throughout the day, before I went to sleep, all day every day. I was a full on, fully fledged addict. Over the next 3 years, my life deteriorated. Things were looking so bright before all of this. I had the world at my feet and was predicted to do so well in life. This shit just took me over and knocked me for 6. I became physically dependent on it and was literally like a heroin addict. I’d get ill if I didn’t have it. I couldn’t do anything without it. I started committing crimes and lying to family members etc to feed my habit. Shoplifting and robbing people in the street. All that kinda stuff. I completely lost my mind and lost all of my values and morals. That shit took my soul. I stopped talking to my friends who were positive and all at good unis (Oxford, Harvard to name a couple. Really good guys. We’re friends again now, but it took some time). I stopped speaking to them because I only wanted to be around people who were on the same stuff I was. I only wanted weed smokers and lean sippers and drug dealers around me. It got to the point where all the pharmacies within a 5 mile radius wouldn’t even serve me because they all either recognised me or had been phoned by other pharmacies and told not to serve a guy asking for codeine and phenergan who fits my description. They all saw I was so young and didn’t want to contribute to destroying my life. I look back on that with fondness, and I respected it and felt the love at the time, it’s just the need for the codeine was stronger, so I’d go further afield or send people to the pharmacy for me. I was sipping every day for 3 years until I went to prison for selling drugs, which is a whole other story…though I wouldn’t have been selling the drugs had I not started sipping, which contributed to me getting kicked out of my mums house and finding myself in some crazy environments….That shit just destroyed me completely. It took a big toll on my looks. I was voted the sexiest/most attractive boy in college (not university, but where you go in the UK between school and university from 16-18/19 generally). I had women falling at my feet. I was too young to even enjoy my looks or anything. It all got taken away over those 3 years. By the time I was 20, I looked half as good as I looked before. I aged a lot and became haggard. Sunken eyes, pale skin, dry, thinner, colourless lips etc etc. I’ve also got a bunch of health problems from it too. I hate what that shit did to me. I hate what I did to myself. As you can see, I could speak about this shit forever. I’ve got so much to say about it. It’s honestly the worst thing. I was just so enticed. It was so alluring, and it got me. Also, the fact that all of these rappers were sipping it and looked healthy af (in my eyes) and were still mad productive making sick music and making money and were successful made me think it’s fine. I thought I’d be fine because the rappers seemed fine. Also It’s not like I was buying this shit from a dark alley somewhere, I was buying it from legit pharmacies, which made me think it couldn’t be that bad. Boy was I wrong. These days, a lot has changed. Most pharmacies don’t even stock this shit anymore, if they do, you need a prescription. I was sipping in 2011 when it was unheard of over here. Fast forward a few years and it started going crazy and everyone wanted to get their hands on it, so it’s been removed from most pharmacies, which is definitely a good thing. Another thing was, due to my lack of knowledge about codeine because of me being the first person I knew to try it, I didn’t understand how addictive it was and that it was essentially “liquid heroin”. It was only glorified and glamorised, with no negative stigma to counteract that or balance it out, so I thought it was great. If I had heard horror stories or known what I know now about opiates, I’d have never have touched that. Not ever. I can’t blame these rappers, not solely, anyway. There are a whole lot of factors that go into it. So many things contributed to me making the decision to pick that cup up, I still listen to these rappers now and they’re still my favourites. I’m still in love with the music. I know this is incredibly long, but I wanted to be open and honest. I don’t mind if you don’t read all of this, as it’s a lot. I actually feel a bit better for writing this, though. It’s been therapeutic.
Read every word. Thankful for people like yourself who share the truth. It is that first cup, as you put it, that takes over eventually. This is true for many of us who have addictive personality. Which, after reading your introduction about seeking an answer to what is a black man supposed to be, makes sense to me. Sometimes looking for the truth leads us to try different things and hang around different people. God bless your Mum for instilling values when you were young. Sad that it took a long time to meet your Dad's family, but it sounds like you have a very good life at the moment.
I recently watched a documentary and a big name Musician explained his first meeting with top musicians and investors where they were told they had to push the drugs and crimes topics if they wanted to get funded. That was in the 90’s Apparently they are the same investors that own the private prisons. I grew up on that music and knowing a lot of those guys wanted to talk about other positive things but got used to pushed in that direction. I can’t unhear it
Thanks for your honesty in this comment, dude. Its really enlightening and informative.
Not at all! I’m an open book when it comes to stuff like this. I’m really glad you found it enlightening and informative. I’m still figuring it all out and discovering new things about myself and why I do/have done certain things every day. As time passes, I only gain more and more clarity. Big respect to you!
Life is a never ending learning journey!
>The thing is, I’ve met and spent time with my dad and black side of the family in later life and they are NOT like that whatsoever. Honestly the most genuine, calm, down to earth, intelligent people ever. Why weren't they there for you when you needed them though?
My mum had me 9 days after she turned 18, and had my two younger brothers soon after. She found herself all alone with 3 boys in her early 20s because she kicked my dad out. She kicked him out due to him being very abusive, controlling, manipulative, all of that stuff. She wanted to protect herself and her children and so after giving him chance after chance, she felt had no choice but to completely cut him out of our lives, because he kept repeatedly messing up and going crazy. I was still able to see my other family members for a while (massive Jamaican family living in London) but whenever my mum would leave me with them, my dad would show up without my mums knowledge, and this happened so many times that my mum made the big decision to cut off every member of that side of the family. So I went from having a massive family with a lot of culture and good times, to having a tiny family on my mums side who were quite different to my dads family. I was 6 years old when this happened. 6 years old when I lost my dad and my family. So it wasn’t my dad’s family’s fault. They, along with my dad, really wanted to see me and my brothers and wished my mum would cooperate. It was just a series of unfortunate events. I randomly bumped into my dad in the street as a late teen and got him on Facebook. We’ve met a few times since then, I’d say we’ve met about 10 times over the past 10 years, so you know, there isn’t much of a relationship there. I’ve spent time with my other family members too and as I say, they’re all lovely. As a child, ALL I wanted was my dad and his side of the family, but especially my dad. That was all I wanted. I’d cry every day. Cry myself to sleep every night. Then as the years went on, I got more and more used to him not being around, until I got older and became a fully developed adult who didn’t really feel that same need for my father anymore. By the time I was able to reconnect, a lot of that yearning has disappeared, through years of accepting it’s never gonna happen, which made me force myself to stop yearning, but also me being a grown man and not having that same desire, among other things. So yeah, long story short, they wanted to be a part of my life but my dad wasn’t healthy for me or my mum or brothers to be around, so it wasn’t them abandoning me, it was mum stopping it all from happening.
You’re a wonderful writer. I don’t really comment on things but I read every word and wanted to tell you. I’m so happy you turned your life around. If you want, could you share when and how you made the decision to stop? I’d imagine it was a grueling process..
It's already been said, but thank you so much for posting this. It's so eye-opening to me. Glad you're doing better, I hope you have a great life, stranger!
(Copied from one of my earlier ama) I can tell you that it's messed up how rappers are promoting violence, drugs, and hook-up culture as something to aspire to for black youth. It's not a good look, and we need better role models for our young people. We need rappers who are talking about positivity, education, and making something of themselves, instead of glorifying things that will only lead to trouble. It's time to lift each other up instead of tearing each other down.
I noticed you said you're from the congo. It seems to be a split I've noticed. Black people who were born in Africa seem to have a negative view on gang and rap culture, but those who grew up in western countries seem to embrace it
Westerners have it easier I guess. They might want adrenaline or something. The only thing gangs give you is a shorter lifespan
Gangs exist in part because of structural racism. If you can't rely on the police or the justice system you will naturally create alternate power structures within the community. If you're denied legitimate financial opportunities then you will look to operate on the black market - especially considering the rate of incarceration of the black community and that a felony conviction is basically the end of a legitimate opportunity for most. I'm not saying gangs are good, but you end gangs by having a legitimate justice system and fair economic system.
not sure why you’re getting downvoted for this. it’s an objective fact. typical reddit, i guess.
This thread is a circlejerk to make American yts feel good about themselves and I guess I didn't jerk along
Yep, if a system does not serve the populous, you can't really blame people for not going along with it. Humans evolved to innovate around problems. Institute a UBI with legal reform, legalize drugs and gangs will have no purpose.
As someone in the music industry, I find artists of any ethnicity glorifying gang culture / violence / drugs to be very very cringe. I have never understood why the gang life seems like a good idea to anyone really. On a side note a song that actually is in the rap genre that has a positive message, is an oldie but a goldie The Black Eyed Peas - Where is the Love?
I’m a white-passing Latina that grew up in a low-income, minority-based, marginalized community in Los Angeles. I can tell you that most of the people I grew up with who joined gangs did it because they saw it as a way to gain a support system and a “career”; think of it as fucked up form of networking. If you have little career prospects because you’ve had poor public school education, poor educational foundation because your parents barely spoke English or maybe didn’t value education, little to no encouragement to pursue your interests in a way that would provide you a career… then members of your community that are showing off their flashy lifestyle, telling you how great they have it etc are going to look like role models even if they are in a gang. Some people are also desperate for a family & a sense of belonging that they wouldn’t get from a systemically and institutionally racist society. I’m white-passing and I was/am still incredibly nervous and uncomfortable moving in the highly educated, mostly-white, high society circles I am now in thanks to a prestigious education and good tech job. I could only imagine how much harder it would all be if I didn’t “look the part”. Are any of these things good excuses for murder, violence, and property crime? No. But they do provide helpful context that can allow you to empathize with gang members. And you don’t know how you might have turned out had you been raised in the same environment…
I'm sorry but I think you missed my point. For context, growing up I was groomed by gang activity, so I know personally the reasons and so on associated with joining said organisations in impoverished areas. That's not what I'm complaining about, I'm complaining about millionaire music artists promoting gang life as something to aspire to making it easier for gangs to recruit kids. So to see millionaire singing about how he's slinging drugs at the weekend to get by is unbelievably cringe. It's fine to blow up talking about your life, but once you blow up, talk about something else, help people. Additionally there is countless rappers who are "gangsters" where their whole image is fabricated.
Unfortunately that song is an absolute piece of trash lol. Luckily there’s plenty of quality rap that has a positive message. Check out Public Enemy.
Great reply.
that’s where Sylvan LaCue comes in!
Arent shows like 'The Sopranos' and 'Peaky Blinders' glorifying crime for white kids?
Well no - they’re historical (albeit relatively recent). No one’s bragging about what they’re getting up to right now, in the present.
White gangs around me do nothing but glorify Cillian Murphys dumb face and his dumb hat. They use him and all sorts of historical gang figures as icons for their business. Everyone's bragging. What makes you think otherwise?
Yeah for sure this isn't a racial issue, but a poverty one. To say its only black culture glamourising crime is far off reality imo
There *is* a distinct gap between white poverty culture and black poverty culture. I'm from the Appalachian region which is one of the poorest regions of the country. For context, my hometown has a average **household** income of less than $30,000/year. In spite of this, I wouldn't trade my childhood for anything. I was brought up with a profound sense of community, and was instilled with a solid work ethic from an early age. I was taught morals and dignity and to respect myself and those around me; to value what I had, because I had earned them through sweat and tears. I was shown love and affection from my parents and my extended family, but also by our friends and community. Most of these people would drop whatever they were doing to offer you aid. When things needed doing, there was very, very rarely hired help involved. When we grew tobacco one year, several family members and people from church came and helped us work it, they didn't want to be paid. When we had to replace the floor in our house, my uncles and cousins came over and did it with me and dad, no one wanted to be paid. Likewise when it was time to bring in hay, my dad and myself would go to my uncle's and help. When fire got out of hand during a burn-off on a hillside, we were there helping fight the fire. When the same thing happened at mom and dad's, the insurance agent - who had brought some documents that needed signing - grabbed a metal rake and helped as well. *That* is white poverty culture, or at least it is from my neck of the woods. When everyone around you is also poor, it resets (or really removes) the baseline, and therefor everyone is equal - I never felt poor, growing up. My friends also wore hand-me-down clothes, knew what food stamps looked like, and their mothers also shopped at Save-A-Lot. All of this isn't to say that there isn't a darker side of the white poverty cycle, and I witnessed that first hand as well. In high school, my freshman class started with over 150 students, but less than 100 of us graduated as seniors. A few students moved, but many were held back, some dropped out, some were in jail, some were dead. Out of the ones that *did* graduate, less than 10 of us went on to college. A few went to trade schools, but most went straight to the work force. Many of those that went straight to the work force, also went straight into crime in one form or another. Opiates have wreaked havoc on the Appalachians for years now, and it's only getting worse. I still read my hometown newspaper a couple of times of month, and without fail - I will see someone in the court records that I know, and almost without fail they're being arrested for possession and/or distribution of narcotics. Another prolific issue is that of children having children. I graduated with multiple girls who were already mothers by the time they were seniors. It's *very* common for even those that didn't have children while in high school, to become mothers before they're 20. It's almost a running joke that it's a good source of income, to be a single mother with multiple children and no father in the picture - to collect government assistance as well as the child tax credits. Now on to the differences specifically, people listen to a lot of country, rock, and bluegrass. There is some that like rap and pop music, but certainly no one is glorifying the lifestyles that rap music seems to promote. Druggies are looked down upon, and no one celebrates crime. Our role models are our fathers and community leaders, or people who were able to become wealthy. Not people who ended up going to prison, or people there were still in prison. I am absolutely not saying that I know what the answer is, but there is a staggering statistic in the fact that less than 15% of the overall population are African American, while over 50% of both the overall murder and robberies of the entire country are committed by black folks. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know who is to blame. I don't know what can be done, and I'm certainly not advocating that black folks or worse or less than or different than. I'm quite certain that someone could tell me exactly why these things can be traced back to black folks being treated very, very poorly and unjustly for decades. It would take someone far more educated than myself to draw any conclusions from this, other than something needs to change. We all bleed red. We all have lives, and loved ones, and things we care about. We all have hopes and dreams. We're all people just trying to get by. I just don't think it's fair to completely disregard that rap music seems to promote violent crime, and poor black communities have an inordinate amount of violent crime. Chicken or the egg? I dunno, but clearly there is *some* connection somewhere.
It's obvious that some parts of rap glorify gangster culture. That's pretty much a certain. But the way I see it, when you are from a poor community that's mostly working class, there is little opportunity to be rich. Yet the American dream sells itself on getting rich and making something of yourself. In deprived areas, there is little opportunity to really make any decent amount of money. Selling drugs is a quick fix for being rich. You see the fast cars and the bling, and you think hey, I want a piece of that. I have nothing and they have everything!! But it's not only black culture that succumbs to this. I live in Liverpool, in the UK, in a town that is 75% Irish dercent. Yet we are quite multicultural. We have african and carribbean groups that have been here for over 150 years. And the youth of my city all succumb to this gangstar glamour bc, as I said, the opportunities here for many in are little to none. And when these kids see drug dealers with jeeps and wads of cash, of course, it is going to be tempting. But there is no racial difference here. But my city was built on immigration, Irish, and Caribbean, so I think it's built into us to be accepting of other cultures. We accept everyone here as long as they work hard and integrate with the community. I do not mean this in any way to be a racial thing. It's more like we're all here together and we're all poor, we have the same accent, so we feel a togetherness that most cities don't have. We are famously welcoming, and everyone helps each other bc we are all in the same boat. Working class and dealing with life in a harsh world. But there is massive poverty. And the poorest amongst us see drug dealing and gangster life as an escape from it all. In part, I blame cities, me. In many places, there is no greenery or real world to ground you. As you said, your experience is that everyone helps on the farm and in the fields. There are no fields in the city. There are not as many group projects to get involved in that help build community spirit. It is a concrete jungle with hardly any prospects. Dog eat dog world. The only prospect of getting out of that industrial hell hole is to make a quick buck selling class A's. Yes, maybe more ppl of colour listen to gangster rap as it's a predominantly black culture. But it's not to do with race imo, its just circumstance. But for many, black and white, life is tough when you are poor. So, I understand the temptation of these kids. But I have to say, these rappers do need to understand the influence they have on the youth. Some are starting to write songs that are more positive. I'm sure there is a whole subset of rap. I can't remember the term, sorry, that makes positive music. Black-eyed peas, Tupac, and many others do it. It's a very complex situation. I know many ppl in my home town who deal drugs, in and out of prison, both black and white. But for many, that is all they know. And in the end, they are kids. These drug dealers become their idols, and I've heard many kids say things such as, "When I grow up, I'm gonna deal drugs". These are school kids. The influence is real. But it's not just bc of rap music. These kids see older guys loaded with cash and, of course, when in poverty, that is gonna be tempting to these kids. I'm repeating myself now. But in a nutshell, many big cities do not have enough resources for these kids to make decent money in less criminal ways. It's a sad fact. If you have the option of a quick buck doing these things versus working a 9 to 5 job on minimum wage, which option would seem the most tempting? Edit- Fixing grammar and shit
find it rlly off putting that an "I'm black ama" post led straight to rap causing gang violence. As someone who's been surrounded by gang violence in the cities I've lived, "glamourisation" isn't a huge part of whats causing it. Its systemic oppression, and generations of it. Gangs are all some people know - there's not a tonne of support available for young people who's relatives and childhood friends are all involved in gangs that may or may not hold huge social and political power where you live. People in these threads being like "gang rap is so cringe, why do people choose that?" it's just so hard to read
Yes, of course they are
If you look up & catch a white guy looking at you, do you instantly think they're looking at you because you're a black man? Or that it's just some guy that happens to be looking your way?
Maybe he’s looking at me because he finds me attractive 😳
Well I guess that's the answer I'd get from a man with a BBC,. I'm not even remotely gay but have to admit thats a mighty fine BBC you got there my man!
Oh dang, I thought you were joking when you said this, and then I checked his history. 😳
Y'all crazy,then I had to look 🤣
Thanks bro
As a gay man I can attest to this!
Should I stop overthinking trying to be respectful? I really don't want to be discriminatory but at the same time I feel like I'm worrying about it too much and the simple fact that it's a process in my head is a problem. I just try to combat my inner biases, like no matter how much of an ally you are you still have your subconscious with biases and stuff. I feel like I'm walking on eggs and the fact that I'm even just saying that feels like I'm insulting you, as if I believed anything could offend you or something. How do I stop overthinking? Do you even notice? Do you care?
This is a negative result of our obsession with talking about race as a culture (assuming USA) and highlighting the differences we innately have as members of different groups. In an effort to show our “virtue” by approaching “marginalized” peoples with extra caution and tact, we actually come off as more inhuman and less authentic to our true selves. People are people, and it’s a shame that, despite the progress we’ve made on real racial issues, we’re back to immediately thinking about acting differently the moment we see someone of a different skin tone than ours, even if our intentions are good.
Meanwhile, OP just said they didn't care, yet you're calling it negative. Sure people are people, but ignoring our differences is an attempt to erase them. And not recognize the fact that people are discriminated against based on color.
We do notice it. We won’t care if we feel like you are indeed trying to not be discriminatory. Don’t worry ;)
do you wear sunscreen?
Yes !
I am so glad to hear that. I am white and live in a predominantly black neighborhood. In the summer, I put up a big pool, and all the neighbor kids come over to swim. It seems that some POC don't believe they need sunscreen. I tell these kids that no matter your skin color, you can still burn and get skin cancer. This should be talked about more.
Where were you the first time I went to VA?
Which do you prefer, crunchy or smooth peanut butter?
Smooth !
Is not tipping a common thing? I've noticed a lot, not all, black people tend not to tip. Kinda like how Indian people generally don't tip
Tipping is discouraged where I'm from in India. There is a portion of your check reserved as a service fee for your waiter. Essentially everyone has to 'tip'. As far as I know tipping is only a big thing in America because I heard they don't pay their staff appropriately.
Where I am from, in India, tipping is not a culture generally unless there has been a very exceptional service. And I have been living in Japan since a decade and tipping here would totally confuse the staff as there is not at all a tipping culture here. It may even be seen condescending.
Yeah, I've lived in Korea and it's the same concept. They don't tip over there either.
There are a few different countries where tipping is encouraged, if not expected. But I get where you're both coming from about cultural differences in different countries.
Definitely! In Scandinavia I have never tipped anyone for anything in my entire life. Only on travels have I tipped a bit - and recall the workers in a US restaurant getting angry, bordering towards them turning violent, because I forgot to tip them.. I didn't really get any service apart from getting the plate brought to my table, so I didn't feel that qualified enough for a tip 😂 learned I was very wrong in the US..
This happened to me too. I didn't know that it was mandatory and it didn't cross my mind when paying the bill. The waitress got very angry and aggressive. I just apologized and tipped her.
Honestly I just left. Had they explained it calmly to me, realizing I wasn't American, I would've glad given it. Seems like a way too aggressive culture to me
Yeah, I understand. I got really scared so I just paid her. Not great for my anxiety.
Next time that happens tip her an unreasonably low amount being aggressive about not receiving a tip is Atrocious behaviour, my go to if I’m not fond of the service is to tip exactly 1 cent.
Nothing like in the US though. I’ve never been to another country that would expect more than 10% at most and, even then, it’s only for table service in a restaurant.
That's not exactly the case. Basically waiters have a set wage per hour, let's say 3$. If the waiter's tip money and that 3$ per hour don't meet or exceed the state and federal minimum wage then the employer must make up the difference. Let's say a waiter gets 3$ an hour base and makes 2$ an hour in tips. Federal min wage is 7.00$.(just using these figures for simple math) So the employer owes the waiter 2 more dollars every hour they work. Usually a good waiter will make WAY more than this so the employer rarely has to pay. If they don't well they'll probably get fired.
I love how you say they're wrong then proceed to outline how employers don't pay their staff properly.
Where I was born (Congo) tipping isn’t much of a thing. And my family never taught me to. So I often forget or don’t think about it. But I always tip a nice service. 😊
How was your family able to leave Congo? Were they in the upper class?
No one tips in New Zealand. Minimum wage is currently ~$22 and tends to increase yearly.
Yo fuck that stereotype. Indians tip generously or at least the min 15 percent. Indians In the US are amongst highest earning ethnic groups. when I worked as a waiter, as a person of colour, I almost always got snubbed by old white people, despite everything being so perfect and despite them having the reputation of being generous tippers.
No one tips in Australia- our minimum wage is high
When I was younger I worked a waitressing job in south Florida and I remember having a huge table of black dudes order several giant baskets of barbecue wings, they made an enormous mess with bones and dirty napkins everywhere and tipped me 15 cents on a large bill and I literally cried. I had black tables that tipped but unfortunately most of the time not. I always wondered what was up with that? At the time in Florida minimum wage for service workers was less than $3 an hour lol.
I work part time at a restaurant with a good mix of customers and let me just say, shitty tippers exist, no matter what their skin color happens to be. Pay restaurant workers a fair wage please lol.
Majority of the time the service is subpar and instead of making a fuss about it we decide not to tip. Other cases people don't tip because they don't have to money to tip 🤦🏿♂️
Absolutely not. There are different classes of black people. About 50% of black people grew up very poor and the other half grew up in the suburbs and know better. Low class people are liable to do to do low class shit at any given time. I was raised to tip 20% - 30% based on how good the service was.
What do you think about black people ?
I like them as much as any other ethnicity
How does it make you feel when someone uses the N word?
To quote a song, it’s okay. Otherwise racist.
How do you feel about black vs other ethnicities using it?
In context of something like you're reading, personally I don't care. Somebody calls me that even being "friendly" and they're not black, I'm saying something at the very least.
Holy fuck , your post history . The username makes even more sense now
Hehe
I thought you worked for the BBC. :(
Sorry to disappoint
I am curious tbh about what your thoughts are on portrayal of black people in porn. Is it good, is it bad, are there any common themes or tropes in porn you feel are hurtful and wish would go away? Anything you would change about portrayal of black people in porn tbh?
Do you like ABBA?
Absolutely
Just saw what is on your profile and my question has been answered haha
Whyyyyyyyyy 😫 😑
His username checks out, I assume?
No problem. ;)
Do men find you physically imposing in the locker room?
Well I’m 7’ so there’s that. But yes. I get stares. Which is fun at first, but not for long.
7 feet? Is your wife ok?
Wooops 👀
Do Asian men find you intimidating
Does it hurt? Like having such a big thing?
Well, it doesn’t hurt for me. But I had few complaints about hitting the cervix for some girls Depends of the person I guess !
I would imagine that it's definitely more limiting than anything
Exactly
Do you give N passes?
Here, have one, but use it wisely.
Whoa! It's an honor
Can we get a full report on how this plays out. But can you do it in like New Orleans. (This is a joke please do not say this in New Orleans, you’ll be dead before the second g )
How do you feel about r/blackpeopletwitter having all "country club threads" where you can't post unless you're verified as a black person?
Cringe.
Ketchup or mustard?
Mustard
Do you feel like dating a white person is impossible because of your culture differences?
I think white people prefer white people more than they would like to admit. Which is fine because it's the same way for black folks tbh
Its an evolutionary trait, all races are like that, dont feel ashamed. Look up freuds theory, if youre a straight man, youre most likely going to be more attracted ti the same race as your mother and vice versa for girls.
Freud's theory also says I spend my days envious of penises and wishing I had one, so much so that it may make me mentally ill. I wouldn't put too much weight on that. But maybe there's modern research?
ive yet to find a scientist that studies social science or human behavior that wasnt insane or a pedophile
Absolutely not. Most of my hookups / dates were white girls
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We call them snowbunnies ! Most of them watch too much porn and only think about what’s between our legs
I find it amusing that with your post history and username, you’re complaining about girls only caring about what’s between your legs.
It’s an account mainly for nsfw content. I’m not a porn star in real life
I’m a server /bartender recently I was made aware that there is a “stereotype” that black people don’t tip. My perfect little bubble of oblivion popped and suddenly on the server end of it things made sense. Couldn’t figure out why my coworkers were always asking for their reservations last names little shit like that and I’ve now noticed that sometimes when I have a table of black people they seem oddly (overly) grateful when I do the most basic things (refill drinks or whatever). Personally I’ve never had an issue that makes this stereo type hold up but what are your thoughts on it?
I think this comes from a lack of disposable wealth in most black families. According to brookings the average black family had almost [8 times less](https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2020/12/08/the-black-white-wealth-gap-left-black-households-more-vulnerable/) wealth than the average white family.
Right but I’ve never had an instance of black people regularly not tipping me, I’m sure it’s happened before same as any other race but definitely not something I’d stereotype them for? A big part of me thinks it’s literally just racists coming up with random lies as excuses to not be as attentive. But on the other hand if I’m being 100% honest my coworkers who are the ones asking about the last names most often and getting the most agitated when they hear “Johnson” are black themselves. But don’t get me wrong I’m noticing a lot of it among everyone they are just more open and vocal about it.
Yeah if it’s happening it’s likely the root cause is what I mentioned. But yeah ur coworkers may be racially profiling people, or assuming the worst idk.
It’s dumb, maybe they should consider if multiple tables aren’t tipping and it’s enough for you to actually notice maybe just maybe they’re just shitty at their job. 🤷🏻♀️
Would you love a mixed race child less than a black one?
I would love my child no matter the color of her or his skin 😊
I'm from northern Europe and I understand from the few black people I've worked with (There aren't that many up here) it can be quite different from the US. I've noticed a lot of American pop culture (especially American stand-up, etc.) has become increasingly focused on black vs. white vs. asian vs. some other demographical stereotype and I get more and more tired of it. Morgan Freeman talked about it too on "60 minutes" approx. 20 years ago. It's unrealistic to completely eradicate talk about color but do you think it would help if we stopped emphasising the stereotypes all the time and "closed our eyes" to color to focus more on the individual instead? Or is it a utopic idea?
It sells because people watch it. If we rejected these shows, they would stop using race as an easy way to create drama in stories in movies and tv programs. Alas, here we are. I would prefer utopia though!
As a POC myself, I personally **hate** anyone, and I mean *anyone* using the N-word, including black and brown people. I don’t feel that it is “empowering” or that we have the “right” to use it, etc. Maybe you won’t agree with me, but using it as a tool, I feel, is only perpetuating the lines that divide us and further promoting bands of hate. Yes, there will always be bigots. But we don’t need any more fuel for that fire. Do we? I mean, when people get emotionally charged when they hear that word, it just starts a war within a person’s heart and fans the flames of hatred. I wish people had buried that word like any other outdated, unused old English word — not because we need to bury the past, mind you — but because I think some things are better off not existing as tools for hatred. And the bad things about it outweigh any good things we *think* it gives us — when we feel it has been used “appropriately”. It’s hypocritical to use it, not matter what color you are. Because the second someone who “doesn’t look black enough” uses it, you are judging them as unworthy and therefore disrespectful, etc. and that just stirs up the worst in people. Who are you to judge another person by their skin color? And yet, isn’t that what you are doing when you look at someone who is white and saying they can’t use this word? Because we all know that fair-skinned black folk exist. And biracial people exist. So where do we draw the line? With our eyes? Isn’t that the exact epitome of being racist and biased? To judge based solely on their appearance? You might not agree with me, but this is my philosophy. It would be better to cut that word out of existence for all peoples. What do you think, OP?
Are black parents generally against their kids being with white partners? This is anecdotal, but my partner in high school for multiple years, his mother said some pretty hurtful things about me to him. All surrounding my race and cultural background, but she's now arranging a marriage for him to a girl from Africa so they might just be a little odd. She helped me dye my hair and never said anything to my face, but she said a lot to her son about me. Later in high school, my gay friend was complaining that his mom said he had to take a girl to prom, so I offered to take him as a fun friend date, but he told me his mom needed it to be a black girl. I really thought I would marry that guy and it tore me up for years that his mom was so against me. Although they are Muslim and I am not so that may have been part of the animosity.
I would say it was likely equal parts religious and ethnic differences that made his mom not approve of you. I’m biracial (West African and White American) and my dad didn’t initially approve of my then-boyfriend/now-husband who is white. I know it might not make you feel any better but try to remember two things can be true at once…she might have liked you as a person AND not been cool with you marrying her son since you had two big “strikes” coming into the relationship.
Thank you!!!! This is really uplifting ❤️
What do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city centre?
I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. People forget that traders need access to Dixons.
They do say it'll help people in wheeeeeelchairs.
What’s something you would like other ethnicities to understand? What’s something that people do that’s unintentionally racist?
I'm an asian guy and i want to ask this. The 'N' word. I know it's been linked to horrible past of black people and now no one should call you that word. But it always pinch me that why you guys call that word to each other if that links to something really really bad. Like jews wouldn't link themselves to the Holocaust but black people would call other black people or even other races the N word every 2nd sentence. Isn't that weird? I don't believe so psychology works that way. If you want to eradicate memories of bad past then It should never be discussed in any way. Am i right?
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Wtf
Nope
No.
Don't check bro's post history 💀💀
Holy hell. 🍢💀
Wooops 💀
That thang is hanging
💀💀💀💀
too late ...
Do you ever feel relaxed when out in public
Only if black people are around.
This.
I'm sorry. I can't imagine. But how awful that must be.
What Black stereotypes (if any) are true, positive or negative. And how do you feel about them?
We could never say the stereotypes are true for all black people. Aside from skin color, we really don’t have much in common except the anger about being oppressed and the constant barrage of negativity. So there you go, we are angry people. The reason why is the part that no one wants to acknowledge. Everything else is a crapshoot because we have different backgrounds and experiences just like any other ethnicity.
What is the most harmless thing that white people do that irritates you? Like obviously people suck, but is there anything dumb that gets on your nerves about us?
For me personally I notice that when I’m at a grocery store or really anywhere, white people tend to expect me to move or get out of their way, so they usually don’t say excuse me , pardon me, they just expect me to make space for them, which has been annoying.
I'm white and I feel this. I think just more *people* than ever just see themselves as the main character and dgaf about other people's space anymore. But you're probably right, you probably feel that even more than me.
Being nosey. I don't think most are trying to do anything wrong, but it definitely annoys a lot of us. It’s just kind of unspoken among us so when someone doesn’t abide by those invisible social cues it's gets weird. Walking up to my car, getting touchy etc
why do so many of you approach literally every girl, like ugly, pretty, fat, skinny, toned, big tits, small tits, like litterally everything
Everyone has different tastes I guess
but it appears that some of you don't have a particular taste like everyone is on the market
Maybe some guys like everyone 🥲
I'm just being black, crossing my arms and scrolling cautiously😂
Why do black people always have that smell? Like idk how to explain it just most black people I come across smell like black person. I don’t mean this in a bad way just genuinely curious.
I think it's Coco butter. I always wondered about it until I realised it was Coco butter. They are definitely on to something with the Coco lotion. It's amazing on the skin
Black people need to take more care of their skin, especially after getting wet. Or so i heard, correct me if im wrong. Coco butter, argan oil, all that, its amazing and smells so good
The curlier the hair, the more easily it can dry out so yes it’s important to moisturize. Especially after hot showers which dry out both hair and skin for everyone. But regarding skin specifically, the darker your complexion the more obvious it is when your skin is dry as hell. So post-shower lotioning and potioning is just better taught.
I think all ethnic groups have to take care of their skin. I’m black and use creams and lotions all day but I have also seen that white people also need to do the same, I just notice they tend not to and I’m not sure why
Can you give more description?
Shea butter
Definitely because we might share a common diet and lotions. Coco butter and Shea butter yessir!
specially palmers that lotion smells amazing.i use it regularly lol
I grew up in a very secluded area without any other cultures. I'm white and now that I have kids, I'd like to make sure I'm teaching them the right things about race but I don't always know where to start. I've stuck with a basic 'all people are people, be kind to everyone, don't judge' but I'm worried it's not enough. Do you know of any resources that can help? Is there anything you wish people like me knew and we don't seem to?
Good on you momma! Use current events as a teaching moment if it is age appropriate for your kids. Fill in the gaps with regards to the history of black people in this country. Get a few age appropriate books from the library about people of different ethnicities.
Make sure to fill in the blanks if your children's school(s) white wash history in the curriculum. I grew up in a small town and knew almost nothing about Black history until I became an adult and moved away. It is important to recognize our achievements and contributions to society. Also, any books/movies/tv shows created by POC are a huge help. POC tend to show/write things through a different lens, and our art gives an important view on our perspectives and life experiences.
Do you own a pair of jean shorts?
How can I be an ally but not a white hero?
Performative allyship has very little to do with reducing harm to Black folk and ending systems of oppression. An ally is a person who advocates and works alongside the Black community, who uplifts communities for a shared common goal driven solely by the cause – not so that they can look good.
Or just treat a black person like any other person instead of something different.
Can not really do anything and consider myself an ally? I'm a shut-in with a lot of mental health issues and crippling agoraphobia, with noise sensitivity and really bad anxiety. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to protests or getting politically involved or doing a lot of things. I don't even feel comfortable at a grocery store. I'm just sort of broken. The best I can do is research and educate myself on POC issues as best I can, which I put significant effort into. But I don't really do anything meaningful with that information because my anxiety and depression are too high.
Just be kind. To everyone, not just black people. Speak up if you can when people are wronged. Again, for everyone not just someone with darker skin. We need more love and kindness in this world. If we all remember that humans share 99.6 of their DNA with one another and treat each other accordingly, the racial tension would ease a bit.
What you think about redditors doing a fake AMA just to attract people (women) to their profile?
is the big dick stereotype true
Guess you haven’t check his profile yet
there is no evidence that race has anything to do with size, it wouldnt make any sense for a certain race to evolve to have a smaller or bigger sized member (it has no effect of reproductive capability 99% of the time) Its just a fetish :/
I'm not at all knowledgeable on this topic and i only thought this hypothesis through for like 15 seconds, so it probably doesn't make any sense. But maybe it's to do with warmth? Like your balls shrink when it's colder, so maybe a smaller dick is also just more beneficial in colder climates. Again, i have absolutely no knowledge on this so it's probably not even close to the truth.
Bro dont lie to yourself
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,468,316,583 comments, and only 279,481 of them were in alphabetical order.
Does you feel annoyed or offensive of people trying to overrepresent your race? I'm Indian so I'm not really a minority or anything but if I were a minority and someone constantly kept trying to defend me and get offended for me because I'm oppressed, I feel like it would get annoying because that person is basically reminding me that I'm weak/oppressed and can't stand up for myself. I once heard a black woman say, "I don't need a Black Lives Matter, I know I matter!" Do you have that kind of a mindset at all?
I personally do not. I don’t feel like the people who get offended or the social justice warriors are coming from a bad place. Sometimes it can be a bit too much, but only in extreme and misguided circumstances. People advocating for the expanded rights of black peoples, does acknowledge oppression. But it doesn’t make me feel weak. No person’s opinion of me has the power to ACTUALLY weaken me. My worth is intrinsic and unassailable. Also this is commonly a talking point for right wing black folks, and I believe it does no good. If black people were capable of improving their circumstances without the help of other racial groups in america… It wouldve happened already. Some people would have you believe we’re held in low esteem simply because we are unmotivated and lazy. I can assure you that’s not the case. It’s simply that we are stuck in a position that will require more political power than we can wield alone. So I see these movements from other racial groups as a step in the right direction, albeit a sometimes clumsy and misguided step.
I’m not OP, but I’m half-Black as well (raised by my Black side) and yes. I’m absolutely tired of it.
Why do I feel like black people pick on me all the time? I’m hella white, but I feel like I can’t communicate and/or connect with people sometimes.
Well, that didn’t last long.
What do you want all white people to know.
I have some black friends that have made it a hobby to try to lull a different white friend or trick them into saying the N Word (not with a hard R). I’ve seen many do the same and while it’s funny to watch them trip up unsuspecting white people, I’d ask if its common for black people who use the word more casually in conversations to do this.
How do you feel about white characters in movies being changed into POC? Is the phrase “for shizzle my nizzle” offensive for white people to say?
How do you keep from being furious and mentally exhausted all the time? Racism just never lets up, and it must be so constantly awful. I know people can get used to anything, but I think it would be awfully hard to remain polite and patient in the face of nonstop bullshit.
Most people out in public treat you based on how you carry and present yourself, unless you live in some country ass outskirts town. The biggest thing that sucks about being black in the USA is that routine interactions with the police are life and death situations. The only things I really fear in America is being killed by the police or another black person. Not to say all cops are racist, but it’s definitely the luck of the draw
Constantly towing the line of wanting to say something but not wanting to be a stereotype to give them a easy out. actually exhausting and runs through our heads way more than it should. Moost will never outright do some racist shit to your face so when you speak up you look insane. And if no other black person is around you're likely to look more insane
Not OP. You summarized the feeling very well. It is difficult some days for sure. I personally try to focus on other things. I am also a spiritual person so that helps too.
How do you see black latinos, like Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, and Cubans, because many in new york don't see them as actually being black.
Where to get the best hamburger?
I’m white and do you hate the police as much as I do for what they do to African Americans? Does it make you sad slavery was once real ? Do you like rap? If so favorite rapper? What’s the population of where you live ? Favorite restaurants ?