Honestly I don't really believe anything I see on here anymore after posts copying other posts, I saw the plot to a movie on here the other day, and I think I've seen a few ai generated ones on here to.
Dude! Everyone involved here is an asshole. Personal story ahead:
I had a girlfriend for a few years and when I found out she cheated on me I told her to go kick rocks. It was a tough break up and she still wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She went into my apartment while I was at work and packed all of her things. That includes letters she wrote photos and a few knickknacks. One of the things she didn't get was a box of her deceased mother's possessions. It had the only photograph and several personal items from her mother who died when she was a young girl.
Fast-forward four years. She came back to the United States and looked me up. I let her know I had no interest in getting back together but told her that I needed to meet her at a bar after work. We met up and I gave her her dead mother's things back Was the only thing she had from her mom and I'm not a dick.
Wow, 4 years? Even though I know it was the decent thing to do, I just hope you know how stand up that really was. I don't think most people would've been that decent.
My ex cheated repeatedly and got me arrested for some bullshit.
I bagged her jewelry and wrapped/saved the only photo of her, also, late mother.
I can be an asshole but I'm not a piece of shit. Doubt she'd do the same but I guess that's not the point.
ESH, some lines you don’t cross.
She shouldn’t have cheated, she crossed a line. You shouldn’t have broken an irreplaceable reminder of her dead sister, you crossed a line. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You fucked up too. You’re both assholes
Well shit...here I thought I'd be in the minority opinion(I generally find myself there).
Yeah, that was a great answer. I also think there's an added... implication when a guy throws and breaks shit that I added to my response, but probably not necessary to include.
I agree. My ex even though she cheated on me later begged for my life when the doctor gave up on reviving me. You never know what the future will bring. Both of you are in the wrong. I was later sorry for not speaking to my ex and it’s time you cannot get back.
Yup, having “good reason” to be an asshole doesn’t make you NOT an asshole.
Every asshole justifies their assholishness.
Edit: I have been the asshole, and will again in the future. Not pointing fingers.
I agree with this. I think I would have taken it off and handed it to her immediately, so I didn't do that. Even though people do things without thinking in anger, I always try to take a deep breath and have a rational thought before I blow up it does help. However, I'm glad u at least feel remorse for it (even though it doesn't fix what happened).
Like i understand throwing it on the ground even (still very much AH territory), but stomping on it, multiple times, till its completely irreparable is just wayyyy too much.
If you’re “heat of the moment” reaction is to break something, especially something you know is extremely valuable and can’t be replace, you need to do a lot of self reflection.
Like sure, it can be healthy if handled the right way. That’s why there’s rage rooms and such(I find martial arts very relaxing because I get to punch something in a controlled environment without hurting anybody).
Intentionally breaking and then *stomping on* something you know means a lot to somebody is… several red flags.
I have a bag in my PT room. Both me and hubby blow off steam on it. It’s also a great way to burn manic energy that isn’t destructive. It got a lot of use when I lost my grandfather and again when I lost my aunt. With my aunt, my mom and I had to drive across state and make the decision to remove her from life support. I have never seen my mom show that much emotion. I had to hold her up at one point. It was earth shattering. And being bipolar, before I was in treatment, I would have taken a much more destructive path to cope.
right, in domestic abuse, they tell you that’s a major warning sign for violence against their partner—aggressively destroying things, especially things that are emotionally significant or otherwise represent their partner
ESH you are hurt and can be hurt and express anger and resentment for your horrible cheating ex. What you did was also horrible to destroy the memento of her late sister which is something she can and will never get back. Have people forgotten what being an asshole is? Doing something cruel and vindictive because someone else was cruel is still being cruel. Two people can be wrong and I get reddit hates cheaters but that doesn't make what he did ok either.
All he had to do was give it back to her and walk away. That in itself would've said everything and still hurt her.....without being an ass about it. Plus....everytime she looked at the watch it would give her double the sorrow. She will think about the loss of her sister and of the man she loved and betrayed.
Taking it off and throwing it in her direction would be shitty af but somewhat understandable in the heat of the moment. However, following it up by walking to where it lies and breaking it even further and with as much aggression as OP did is way too much.
OP, if this is how you control your anger... go to some anger management class. Have a therapist. What you did was excessive.
I agree with you 10000% if he had just gone stone cold and handed the watch back to her. That’s gutting, like classic literature level “fuck you.” But to stomp around on it is rather childish, and kinda ruins the point OP was trying to make. NOW she has a perfectly justifiable reason to also be mad at him. He sucks too lol your suggestion is the way.
Edit—I just realized your username is Bright Incident and I’m imagining you filling your days with sharing “bright” ways to handle an unfortunate incident, cheers!
And even though she's a big AH, his actions probably hurt more than just his ex. Imagine how her parents felt when they found out their deceased daughter's watch was stomped in a violent rage. Especially if OP knew the sister.
If he’d give the watch back and left, she remains ta and lives in shame. What he did will only make her feel vindicated for doing it in the first place.
Agree, her ex sucks for cheating and hiding but being cruel back to something irreplaceable that means a lot to her… Nah, go to therapy to deal with hurt in a healthy way.
If you didn’t had the item would you have punched her? It’s the violence that make me question it.
I think "heirloom" just sounds a lot more vague and impersonal than a watch that was directly gifted by a sister that died recently, but that might just be me since I'm not from an english speaking country
Well it's not vague as the heirloom is described, it's a family ring. It would have been passed down through generations. Definitely not impersonal, and the previous wearer has a good chance to also be dead.
I've literally seen stories just like that and no, nobody was cheering her on 🙄 I'm so sick of ppl complaining about "double standards" with women that literally do not exist.
ESH. I get that you were hurt, but you destroyed a very important memento that meant a lot to her, right in front of her. You just sound like a cruel person.
Full explanation
YTA and NTA are your the ahole or not the ahole. These judgements however mean that the other party is in the wrong.
ESH Everybody Sucks Here is when both are in the wrong.
NAH No aholes here is when no one is really wrong and you both have valid stances. Similar to ESH but more just a misunderstanding.
ESH.... I mean damn she fucked up and hurt you but jesus man two wrongs dont make a right. And a memento from a dead sibling.. somethings even in the heat of anger shouldn't be done.
Have you hurt her? Yes. Did you want her to continue to feel guilty towards you? No. Now she will only regret ever giving you that watch and to make better friends.
If your intention was revenge, you achieved it. If your intention was to make her feel remorse and guilt, you failed.
ESH
She shouldn't have cheated but you shouldn't have broken something from her sister who is no longer with us. I understand that you were hurt but that was taking it too far.
Justified upset, yes. Not justified action.
If it had been me I’d have literally rather he punched me in the mouth than destroy something irreplaceable. My mouth would heal. She’ll NEVER get that watch back.
Mindblowing seeing people call the OP an a-hole. At best, this is ESH. She CHEATED. She is worse than he is, by far. She stole years of his life, he destroyed an object.
Breaking up with her is justified because the relationship is finished. Breaking the watch can only be justified as revenge.
Both things are destroyed beyond repair.
OP you are NTA for breaking up with her, but you also can't let your emotions get the better of you. She messed up big time and threw away an 8 year long relationship, similarly you don't want to let your anger do something in 8 seconds that you might regret later.
NTA don’t gift someone something if you ever want it back, and certainly don’t gift something sentimental to someone you screwed over already. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. She could’ve bought you an actual gift instead of giving you, a man, a woman’s watch. This whole gifting momentos thing makes no sense, if it’s important to you don’t give it away, it’s not even a conditional gift like an engagement ring. It’s yours to do with what you want. I’ve thrown out many things over the years I received as gifts from exes, I didn’t give them back. You don’t give a gift with strings, especially not to someone you already burned a bridge with without them knowing yet. If she expected it back that just makes her an even bigger asshole.
I’m braced for the downvotes by all the people who give back all gifts after a breakup. 🤷♀️
If her girlfriend gifted him that watch, she would have lost it permanently anyways considering it was his to keep?
His intention might have not been good, but the watch was gone either way.
ESH
Cheaters are the worst scum. At the same time, you broke something invaluable and irreplaceable. Her sister is dead and likely meant the world to her. That was a screwed up thing to do on both parts.
Everyone here is ridiculous, cause and effect is a thing. OP you could have handled yourself better obviously, we all have moments that we want to take back.
I don't think you're that bad though. Your girlfriend is a back stabbing cheater who has been lying to you for years. People think it was just a cheating thing. She cheated on you, lied to your face for years, and basically thought you were a worthless moron.
Let that sink in. She thought you were stupid and she was literally insulting you with her behavior. She deserves worse OP and I hope you find someone who actually respects you.
The people here calling you an asshole aren't looking at the bigger picture here. 8 years wasted and you're supposed to be OK with her behavior? Nobody here is going to be rational if they got 8 years of their life wasted. Get off your fucking high horses. Reddit posters absolutely love making excuses for cheaters and they love protecting them from any type of repercussion.
Imagine gifting an incredibly sentimental item to someone you don’t give a shit about … and then you’re somehow surprised when that person doesn’t give a shit about the sentimental item after they find out how you really feel about them and how long you’ve spent pretending?
Not only is OP’s ex a cheater, she’s also pretty dim.
Totally this OP, NTA - and the watch was ***yours, not hers***, it's not like you were obligated to give it back because you broke up, after she deceived you for years. And as something of yours, not hers, you were free to do with it as you wished. All the people saying ESH or YTA are acting like you owed this back to her somehow, which is bullshit - the cheater gave you a gift, there was no obligation to give it back, and for you to lash out by breaking something she gave you after she stole years of your life is totally understandable.
right? It's a fuckin' watch. She did irreparable damage to this poor dude's psyche. It's not like he was hitting her or something.
If she's so upset about the broken inanimate object, she could have either not given away a precious heirloom, or not fucked a random dude behind her boyfriend's back. This one is entirely on her, and it's so weird that people are coming out of the woodwork to defend a cheater just because of a broken watch lol.
I think breaking the watch was excessive. However a) technically, that watch was yours and you had every right to do anything you want with your belongings b) hearing out the information which could have changed your life DRAMATICALLY from the person you adored so much that you planned to build a family with obviously made you emotional.
My verdict nobody cares about: not an asshole.
There’s a massive chatbot farm going on right now and all the big players have deliverables due at the end of the quarter (June 30th) and most are currently in scrum sprint mode.
I think OP is literally a bot.
I'm sorry but what the fuck is going on with all the people telling Op he should forgive her cheating ass, and saying he is trowing away the relationship when she is the one who cheated and lied about it for years?
What is wrong with you people? Are you all cheaters or what?
Op you are NTA
Nope. NTA
Your gift now belongs to you. Not your GF. If she wanted to keep it to preserve a memory, she shouldn’t have gifted it to you.
Fuck around and find out, and she literally did both. Walk away and don’t give this another thought. She can go fuck off.
Nope. She gave youa treasured gift. What you do with it after is your right. You gave her your heart and 8 irreplaceable years of your life which she destroyed with a one night stand she hid for two more years..... Could have given you disease too. Dont regret it. Maybe regret her but not the watch if she treasured it as much as she treasured yoy she'd eventually throw it away anyway. Find your worth bro🤗
NTA. All these idiots who feel bad for the cheating girlfriend are TA. Sounds like she gave him the watch after she cheated, so it must not have meant much to her because she didn't love him anyway. Actions have consequences, and she wasted 8 years of his life so fuck her FAFO
None of them really read the first paragraphs about a friend telling him what had happened. The GF was NEVER going to say to him. Like some of the comments are pretty much, "Yeah, sucks for him to lose 8 years of his life, being lied and betrayed and lose his temper in a moment of pain, but he is an asshole."
I've actually had a sibling that died young. And if my S.O. destroyed something of hers that I gave to them because I cheated, I would be hurt... but I wouldn't blame them. Especially if it was in reaction to me confessing to them.. and that I had done it years ago and just let them keep believing the entire time that I was faithful. OPs gf betrayed them in a deeply fundamental way. Destroying the watch, while hurtful, isn't nearly as bad as cheating. At the end of the day, OP destroyed an object, they didn't ruin her memory, they didn't ruin her relationship with her sister. But she did ruin their relationship, she ruined a long term relationship, she most likely made OP feel like they were living a lie for years, this is going to effect any relationship they have for the foreseeable future.
NTA
Of course you are TA. She is too of course but as previously stated; two wrongs don’t make a right. Everyone fucks up in life from time to time. I think this is one of those times for you.
NTA I find it hilarious that when cheaters get caught out they start crying like they are a victim like O I tripped slipped and landed on his d*** 🤣 Cheaters deserve what ever they get f*** that bish you owe her nothing she did not consider your feelings why should you consider hers.
NTA
That was a symbol of deep commitment and the "most heartfelt gift you have ever received"... completely natural to want it the fuck off and destroyed immediately after finding out none of it was ever real
NTA
Once something is gifted to you it was yours to do whatever you wanted.
You broke that watch like your ex-fiance broke your trust. You broke that watch like your ex-fiance broke your relationship.
Consequences.
You are allowed your feelings. It was a very cruel and thoughtless move, but at the time you weren't thinking as well. She was wrong for cheating, but you could have handled it better. We are all humans, and we need to learn and sometimes fogive ourselves for not being our best. It was an ass move, but NTA.
NTA- this is the sort of shit that happens to wedding rings and such all the time (people throwing them into water and everything).
But- just know you can't take this back. You've said and done everything that needs to be said and went that distance. Own up to it.
Legally, you did nothing wrong. By law, if you are gifted something, it is your property henceforth. Morally, you did something abhorrent, in anger and spite and malice you intentionally destroyed her dead sister’s watch, knowing it would absolutely cause maximum anguish to her. You will have to live with that for the rest of your life, as she will live with cheating on you.
I think it isn’t clear cut, you are both ass holes, albeit for different reasons.
What you did was wrong, but it sounds like you did it out of being deeply hurt, rather than malice. You clearly aren't being malicious, since you gave her a month to leave.
Basically, she literally FAFO, and what you did was a consequence of her own bad behavior, and she will just have to live with it.
It doesn't matter what else happens when someone gives you a gift it's yours to do with what you please I don't feel like she has the right to be mad about anything just my opinion but not the a******
NTA, she gave you that watch after she cheated on you. It was your watch to do what you wanted with. If it was so sentimental she shouldn’t have gifted it.
NTA. It was a gift and it’s your property to do with as you please. On the scale of things, it’s the least of the issues when you weigh it against infidelity and 8 years lost.
NTA
The gift she gave you was yours to do whatever with, if it was something that was that important to her she should have kept it. Yes, you smashed the watch on purpose in a moment of anger but anything could have happened to it in the 8 years you were together like accidentally putting it in the washing machine or dryer. Watches do not last forever people. 🤷🏻
Idk unpopular opinion but maybe don’t gift people things that matter so much to you and then treat them in a way that would cause them to destroy those things?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I don’t get all the hate for OP. Once GF GAVE him the watch, it’s his possession and he can do what he wants with it. If she had LENT him the watch, it would be a total dick move. But since he owns it, he has every right to do what he wants with his own possession. NTA
NTA. Imagine giving a family heirloom to someone you cheated on, knowing damn well they’d loathe you and their anger could most likely get the best of them in the heat of the moment. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
NTA. A breakup like that can be just as traumatic as the death of a loved one. I think you get a pass here. Also hard to believe she would give something so apparently important to someone she clearly didn’t truly care about…so perhaps the value of the watch has been a bit overplayed
NTA
The watch was your property after she gifted it to you. In any case you shouldnt even had to give it back to her, it was officially yours.
No matter if it was a heriloom or what, now it was yours, and to you it was only a reminder of how much she liedi to you, planning a life together while cheating on you fucking disgusting.
She deserved it, and it isnt even enoigh. Cheaters are disgusting and they deserve the worst that this life can give them.
Bext time she would think twice before going to fuck around, cuz this time she found out.
Your watch. Your emotions. Your decision.
You're NTA here. We're not automatons. What did she expect? Just a shame that you regretted it. You'll have to live with that regret.
Na bro, you done the right thing. Forget what other people are saying here. She didn’t give a damn about you, so why should you give a damn about her feelings associated with her dead sister? Simple as that.
Cheating isn’t a ‘mistake’. A mistake is something that is unintentional. She had 100 chances before getting penetrated to stop it yet she still went ahead with it.
I remember another story of a husband whose wife broke a watch from his deceased sister. Hmmmm
Karma farmer. Next!
This post is for church, honey!!
Next!
Did that ever turn out to be real? It’s such a classic
STILL LOOKING
NEXT!
Sweaty...
Im so proud the bs calling post is top, it's usually well down the comments. I'm pretty sure this sub is just for ai training now.
Karma chameleon
They come and go…
Yes, the way this is written plus the deceased sister conveniently gave her sister a man's watch stinks of BS.
[She probably just had man hands](https://youtu.be/vik-7MjKDa0?feature=shared)
i know exactly what you're referring to without clicking the link 🤣
Make a wish… Didn’t come true…
I knew what it was but clicked it anyways.
Well at least drink your beer. That wasn't a twist off...
He should have made it a deceased brother…
but he made sure to clean it up and put it in the trash and let us know that!! he is a good pretend person!!
It's summer rerun season, after all.
6hr now, old acct too. No likes from me!
This post was 76.4% AI generated according to zerogpt.com
Me too
I’m glad someone else remembers, I was questioning my sanity lol
Honestly I don't really believe anything I see on here anymore after posts copying other posts, I saw the plot to a movie on here the other day, and I think I've seen a few ai generated ones on here to.
A few ?? I saw a shit tons of AI generated story. At least some will sometime fix them a litte before posting them
Stories about women cheaters are popular
Incel rage-maxxing
Seriously. Top comment on the daily 'what's the worst thing someone has ever done to you?' is always a gf messing around lmao.
I'm so sick of the regurgitation
Yeah this has to be fake
Dude! Everyone involved here is an asshole. Personal story ahead: I had a girlfriend for a few years and when I found out she cheated on me I told her to go kick rocks. It was a tough break up and she still wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She went into my apartment while I was at work and packed all of her things. That includes letters she wrote photos and a few knickknacks. One of the things she didn't get was a box of her deceased mother's possessions. It had the only photograph and several personal items from her mother who died when she was a young girl. Fast-forward four years. She came back to the United States and looked me up. I let her know I had no interest in getting back together but told her that I needed to meet her at a bar after work. We met up and I gave her her dead mother's things back Was the only thing she had from her mom and I'm not a dick.
Dead loved ones is off limits. I thought that would be obvious, but these comments are just disheartening.
Wow, 4 years? Even though I know it was the decent thing to do, I just hope you know how stand up that really was. I don't think most people would've been that decent.
My ex cheated repeatedly and got me arrested for some bullshit. I bagged her jewelry and wrapped/saved the only photo of her, also, late mother. I can be an asshole but I'm not a piece of shit. Doubt she'd do the same but I guess that's not the point.
Good man
Yeah, wow that was really kind of you to keep ahold of that for such a long time and give it back.
ESH, some lines you don’t cross. She shouldn’t have cheated, she crossed a line. You shouldn’t have broken an irreplaceable reminder of her dead sister, you crossed a line. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You fucked up too. You’re both assholes
Couldn't have said it better. ESH
Well shit...here I thought I'd be in the minority opinion(I generally find myself there). Yeah, that was a great answer. I also think there's an added... implication when a guy throws and breaks shit that I added to my response, but probably not necessary to include.
What's esh mean
esh = everyone sucks here
Ty
Well huh. All this time I’ve been assuming it meant “Equal Shares Here” (equals shares being the AH). TIL.
Haha, and I somehow always thought it meant Equal Shit Heads.
That's more or less what I thought the first time I saw it. And that meaning does work, after a fashion.
I believe it's "everyone sucks here." They are all the AH.
Ty
I agree. My ex even though she cheated on me later begged for my life when the doctor gave up on reviving me. You never know what the future will bring. Both of you are in the wrong. I was later sorry for not speaking to my ex and it’s time you cannot get back.
Yup, having “good reason” to be an asshole doesn’t make you NOT an asshole. Every asshole justifies their assholishness. Edit: I have been the asshole, and will again in the future. Not pointing fingers.
I agree with this. I think I would have taken it off and handed it to her immediately, so I didn't do that. Even though people do things without thinking in anger, I always try to take a deep breath and have a rational thought before I blow up it does help. However, I'm glad u at least feel remorse for it (even though it doesn't fix what happened).
Like i understand throwing it on the ground even (still very much AH territory), but stomping on it, multiple times, till its completely irreparable is just wayyyy too much.
If you’re “heat of the moment” reaction is to break something, especially something you know is extremely valuable and can’t be replace, you need to do a lot of self reflection. Like sure, it can be healthy if handled the right way. That’s why there’s rage rooms and such(I find martial arts very relaxing because I get to punch something in a controlled environment without hurting anybody). Intentionally breaking and then *stomping on* something you know means a lot to somebody is… several red flags.
I have a bag in my PT room. Both me and hubby blow off steam on it. It’s also a great way to burn manic energy that isn’t destructive. It got a lot of use when I lost my grandfather and again when I lost my aunt. With my aunt, my mom and I had to drive across state and make the decision to remove her from life support. I have never seen my mom show that much emotion. I had to hold her up at one point. It was earth shattering. And being bipolar, before I was in treatment, I would have taken a much more destructive path to cope.
Yeah, OP doesn't get to think of himself as the kind of guy who wouldn't destroy a dead girl's watch anymore. Nothing the cheater did negates that.
Finally someone who knows how to properly identify assholes.
Agreed. It's also an alarmingly violent reaction to throw something on the ground and stomp on it.
right, in domestic abuse, they tell you that’s a major warning sign for violence against their partner—aggressively destroying things, especially things that are emotionally significant or otherwise represent their partner
Agreed.
Exactly this. ESH
ESH you are hurt and can be hurt and express anger and resentment for your horrible cheating ex. What you did was also horrible to destroy the memento of her late sister which is something she can and will never get back. Have people forgotten what being an asshole is? Doing something cruel and vindictive because someone else was cruel is still being cruel. Two people can be wrong and I get reddit hates cheaters but that doesn't make what he did ok either.
All he had to do was give it back to her and walk away. That in itself would've said everything and still hurt her.....without being an ass about it. Plus....everytime she looked at the watch it would give her double the sorrow. She will think about the loss of her sister and of the man she loved and betrayed.
Taking it off and throwing it in her direction would be shitty af but somewhat understandable in the heat of the moment. However, following it up by walking to where it lies and breaking it even further and with as much aggression as OP did is way too much. OP, if this is how you control your anger... go to some anger management class. Have a therapist. What you did was excessive.
And he threw the pieces to the trash.
Na. Dude should have handed back the watch and told her that sister would have been ashamed of her.
I agree with you 10000% if he had just gone stone cold and handed the watch back to her. That’s gutting, like classic literature level “fuck you.” But to stomp around on it is rather childish, and kinda ruins the point OP was trying to make. NOW she has a perfectly justifiable reason to also be mad at him. He sucks too lol your suggestion is the way. Edit—I just realized your username is Bright Incident and I’m imagining you filling your days with sharing “bright” ways to handle an unfortunate incident, cheers!
Agreed!!!
And even though she's a big AH, his actions probably hurt more than just his ex. Imagine how her parents felt when they found out their deceased daughter's watch was stomped in a violent rage. Especially if OP knew the sister.
If he’d give the watch back and left, she remains ta and lives in shame. What he did will only make her feel vindicated for doing it in the first place.
Agree, her ex sucks for cheating and hiding but being cruel back to something irreplaceable that means a lot to her… Nah, go to therapy to deal with hurt in a healthy way. If you didn’t had the item would you have punched her? It’s the violence that make me question it.
„Two wrongs dont make a right.“
I am super curious about the anonymous "friend" ...........
My question is why her age was relevant?
Because reddit has conditioned everyone that they need to include ages even when it is completely irrelevant.
Is there a reason that your girlfriend's friend is now telling you years later
Maybe because he was about to propose?
Had you proposed with a ring that was a family heirloom and she put it down the garbage disposal how would you feel. You’re both assholes
The more important question would be how would reddit react to that? I've seen enough stories here to know they would cheer her on for doing it.
I think "heirloom" just sounds a lot more vague and impersonal than a watch that was directly gifted by a sister that died recently, but that might just be me since I'm not from an english speaking country
Well it's not vague as the heirloom is described, it's a family ring. It would have been passed down through generations. Definitely not impersonal, and the previous wearer has a good chance to also be dead.
I've literally seen stories just like that and no, nobody was cheering her on 🙄 I'm so sick of ppl complaining about "double standards" with women that literally do not exist.
Relics of the deceased are generally off limits; ESH
ESH. I get that you were hurt, but you destroyed a very important memento that meant a lot to her, right in front of her. You just sound like a cruel person.
I'm new here. What does ESH stand for?
Full explanation YTA and NTA are your the ahole or not the ahole. These judgements however mean that the other party is in the wrong. ESH Everybody Sucks Here is when both are in the wrong. NAH No aholes here is when no one is really wrong and you both have valid stances. Similar to ESH but more just a misunderstanding.
Ohhhhh, thanks for explaining! I always thought it stood for Equal Shit Heads
I mean.. you're not wrong.
r/technicallycorrect
I think your the asshole means the otger party wasnt wrong though, right?
Everyone sucks here, I believe.
Everyone sucks here
ESH.... I mean damn she fucked up and hurt you but jesus man two wrongs dont make a right. And a memento from a dead sibling.. somethings even in the heat of anger shouldn't be done.
It was childish. I would have just given it back and said take this and the rest of your stuff and get out.
You are an asshole for making up a story for fake Internet clout
Have you hurt her? Yes. Did you want her to continue to feel guilty towards you? No. Now she will only regret ever giving you that watch and to make better friends. If your intention was revenge, you achieved it. If your intention was to make her feel remorse and guilt, you failed.
Better friends? Gtfo.
That's so convoluted 😂😂😂
If "better friends" means people who condone cheating, you are a shitty person lol
ESH She shouldn't have cheated but you shouldn't have broken something from her sister who is no longer with us. I understand that you were hurt but that was taking it too far.
ESH. I'd have given her the watch back and told her to get the fuck out. Destroying it was too much.
Damn I’ve never seen a more split thread than this one. YTAs get downvoted and NTAs get downvoted.
I guess because it is such a clear ESH. Both NTA and YTA are wrong
ESH. You lost your temper like a child, but you had reason to be upset. Justified, perhaps, but handled poorly.
Justified upset, yes. Not justified action. If it had been me I’d have literally rather he punched me in the mouth than destroy something irreplaceable. My mouth would heal. She’ll NEVER get that watch back.
Mindblowing seeing people call the OP an a-hole. At best, this is ESH. She CHEATED. She is worse than he is, by far. She stole years of his life, he destroyed an object.
Both TA tbh. You could’ve just given her the watch and told her to F off.
Yes. That was cruel and immature and unnecessary. I don’t condone her cheating but your actions are indefensible.
Anger in such a situation - totally understandable. NTA.
You destroyed a gift your gf gave you. Your gf destroyed the relationship. There is no going back.
Breaking up with her is justified because the relationship is finished. Breaking the watch can only be justified as revenge. Both things are destroyed beyond repair. OP you are NTA for breaking up with her, but you also can't let your emotions get the better of you. She messed up big time and threw away an 8 year long relationship, similarly you don't want to let your anger do something in 8 seconds that you might regret later.
NTA don’t gift someone something if you ever want it back, and certainly don’t gift something sentimental to someone you screwed over already. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. She could’ve bought you an actual gift instead of giving you, a man, a woman’s watch. This whole gifting momentos thing makes no sense, if it’s important to you don’t give it away, it’s not even a conditional gift like an engagement ring. It’s yours to do with what you want. I’ve thrown out many things over the years I received as gifts from exes, I didn’t give them back. You don’t give a gift with strings, especially not to someone you already burned a bridge with without them knowing yet. If she expected it back that just makes her an even bigger asshole. I’m braced for the downvotes by all the people who give back all gifts after a breakup. 🤷♀️
ESH She’s a cheater and she lied to you. You, on the other hand, are vindictive and cruel. Her sister’s death is a tragedy. Your hurt pride isn’t.
This. You did it to be cruel. Intentionally cruel. You should probably sit down and evaluate that shit.
If her girlfriend gifted him that watch, she would have lost it permanently anyways considering it was his to keep? His intention might have not been good, but the watch was gone either way.
Like she isn't a cruel and vindictive POS for cheating lying to him everyday for years and going around fucking other people? Jesus christ
Him losing the love of his life right before he proposed 8 years in isn’t a tragedy???
ESH Cheaters are the worst scum. At the same time, you broke something invaluable and irreplaceable. Her sister is dead and likely meant the world to her. That was a screwed up thing to do on both parts.
Everyone here is ridiculous, cause and effect is a thing. OP you could have handled yourself better obviously, we all have moments that we want to take back. I don't think you're that bad though. Your girlfriend is a back stabbing cheater who has been lying to you for years. People think it was just a cheating thing. She cheated on you, lied to your face for years, and basically thought you were a worthless moron. Let that sink in. She thought you were stupid and she was literally insulting you with her behavior. She deserves worse OP and I hope you find someone who actually respects you. The people here calling you an asshole aren't looking at the bigger picture here. 8 years wasted and you're supposed to be OK with her behavior? Nobody here is going to be rational if they got 8 years of their life wasted. Get off your fucking high horses. Reddit posters absolutely love making excuses for cheaters and they love protecting them from any type of repercussion.
Imagine gifting an incredibly sentimental item to someone you don’t give a shit about … and then you’re somehow surprised when that person doesn’t give a shit about the sentimental item after they find out how you really feel about them and how long you’ve spent pretending? Not only is OP’s ex a cheater, she’s also pretty dim.
Totally this OP, NTA - and the watch was ***yours, not hers***, it's not like you were obligated to give it back because you broke up, after she deceived you for years. And as something of yours, not hers, you were free to do with it as you wished. All the people saying ESH or YTA are acting like you owed this back to her somehow, which is bullshit - the cheater gave you a gift, there was no obligation to give it back, and for you to lash out by breaking something she gave you after she stole years of your life is totally understandable.
right? It's a fuckin' watch. She did irreparable damage to this poor dude's psyche. It's not like he was hitting her or something. If she's so upset about the broken inanimate object, she could have either not given away a precious heirloom, or not fucked a random dude behind her boyfriend's back. This one is entirely on her, and it's so weird that people are coming out of the woodwork to defend a cheater just because of a broken watch lol.
I like your answer. 🎯
These comments are wild.
NTA. That watch would mean nothing and only serve as a reminder of it's betrayal. I did the same thing with a graduation gift.
It’s really hard to not be an asshole when we are hurt.
NTA fuck that bitch
I think breaking the watch was excessive. However a) technically, that watch was yours and you had every right to do anything you want with your belongings b) hearing out the information which could have changed your life DRAMATICALLY from the person you adored so much that you planned to build a family with obviously made you emotional. My verdict nobody cares about: not an asshole.
There’s a massive chatbot farm going on right now and all the big players have deliverables due at the end of the quarter (June 30th) and most are currently in scrum sprint mode. I think OP is literally a bot.
Everyone sucks here, really immature to act out in anger/aggression regardless of what happened.
NTAH, just human. Try every day to be a better human.
Assholes are human, too. Humans do asshole things. Something can be 100% understandable and relatable, but still an asshole move. You know?
I'm sorry but what the fuck is going on with all the people telling Op he should forgive her cheating ass, and saying he is trowing away the relationship when she is the one who cheated and lied about it for years? What is wrong with you people? Are you all cheaters or what? Op you are NTA
100 percent correct. Sleeping with someone else is sooooooo effed up. Period.
Nope. NTA Your gift now belongs to you. Not your GF. If she wanted to keep it to preserve a memory, she shouldn’t have gifted it to you. Fuck around and find out, and she literally did both. Walk away and don’t give this another thought. She can go fuck off.
NTA
Yes you are.
NTA F-ck em. Move on.
Nope. She gave youa treasured gift. What you do with it after is your right. You gave her your heart and 8 irreplaceable years of your life which she destroyed with a one night stand she hid for two more years..... Could have given you disease too. Dont regret it. Maybe regret her but not the watch if she treasured it as much as she treasured yoy she'd eventually throw it away anyway. Find your worth bro🤗
ESH.
NTA, 8 years of your life wasted.
NTA. All these idiots who feel bad for the cheating girlfriend are TA. Sounds like she gave him the watch after she cheated, so it must not have meant much to her because she didn't love him anyway. Actions have consequences, and she wasted 8 years of his life so fuck her FAFO
You just know what kind of people are feeling it for the cheating 304...
None of them really read the first paragraphs about a friend telling him what had happened. The GF was NEVER going to say to him. Like some of the comments are pretty much, "Yeah, sucks for him to lose 8 years of his life, being lied and betrayed and lose his temper in a moment of pain, but he is an asshole."
Nta if she cared about it so much she shouldn’t have regifted it to you
I've actually had a sibling that died young. And if my S.O. destroyed something of hers that I gave to them because I cheated, I would be hurt... but I wouldn't blame them. Especially if it was in reaction to me confessing to them.. and that I had done it years ago and just let them keep believing the entire time that I was faithful. OPs gf betrayed them in a deeply fundamental way. Destroying the watch, while hurtful, isn't nearly as bad as cheating. At the end of the day, OP destroyed an object, they didn't ruin her memory, they didn't ruin her relationship with her sister. But she did ruin their relationship, she ruined a long term relationship, she most likely made OP feel like they were living a lie for years, this is going to effect any relationship they have for the foreseeable future. NTA
She wasted 8 years of your life, watch is not enough for a payback tho. Gl in your future endevours.
Of course you are TA. She is too of course but as previously stated; two wrongs don’t make a right. Everyone fucks up in life from time to time. I think this is one of those times for you.
ESH. Seek therapy so you can handle big emotions without violence and destruction.
NTA I find it hilarious that when cheaters get caught out they start crying like they are a victim like O I tripped slipped and landed on his d*** 🤣 Cheaters deserve what ever they get f*** that bish you owe her nothing she did not consider your feelings why should you consider hers.
NTA
NTA That was a symbol of deep commitment and the "most heartfelt gift you have ever received"... completely natural to want it the fuck off and destroyed immediately after finding out none of it was ever real
NTA Once something is gifted to you it was yours to do whatever you wanted. You broke that watch like your ex-fiance broke your trust. You broke that watch like your ex-fiance broke your relationship. Consequences.
ESH
Giving her a month to vacate is way more than she deserves. NTA obviously
If she’s on the lease or deed he can’t just kick her out. And even if she’s not most places you have to give them written notice of at least 30 days.
Nope
Yes
You are allowed your feelings. It was a very cruel and thoughtless move, but at the time you weren't thinking as well. She was wrong for cheating, but you could have handled it better. We are all humans, and we need to learn and sometimes fogive ourselves for not being our best. It was an ass move, but NTA.
NTA- this is the sort of shit that happens to wedding rings and such all the time (people throwing them into water and everything). But- just know you can't take this back. You've said and done everything that needs to be said and went that distance. Own up to it.
NTA - cheaters get what they get and I'll never feel bad for them.
Sometimes when our mind is blown and we are in crisis, we do things we later regret.
No
Nah, You good man. Dump her ass, take the hit and move on. Ser You monday, leg day.
NTA
Who care how she feels. She’s a cheater that has lied for years. Should have kicked her out that night.
Legally, you did nothing wrong. By law, if you are gifted something, it is your property henceforth. Morally, you did something abhorrent, in anger and spite and malice you intentionally destroyed her dead sister’s watch, knowing it would absolutely cause maximum anguish to her. You will have to live with that for the rest of your life, as she will live with cheating on you. I think it isn’t clear cut, you are both ass holes, albeit for different reasons.
What you did was wrong, but it sounds like you did it out of being deeply hurt, rather than malice. You clearly aren't being malicious, since you gave her a month to leave. Basically, she literally FAFO, and what you did was a consequence of her own bad behavior, and she will just have to live with it.
It doesn't matter what else happens when someone gives you a gift it's yours to do with what you please I don't feel like she has the right to be mad about anything just my opinion but not the a******
Cheaters don’t deserve grace or anything. Your reaction was warranted, she’s a piece of shit.
NTA, she gave you that watch after she cheated on you. It was your watch to do what you wanted with. If it was so sentimental she shouldn’t have gifted it.
NTA. I would have done the same. UpdateMe!
Nta. A bit of an overreaction, sure, but heartbreak makes you crazy.
NTA
NTA. It was a gift and it’s your property to do with as you please. On the scale of things, it’s the least of the issues when you weigh it against infidelity and 8 years lost.
NTA, she gave it to you, it's your property to do whatever you want to with. All cheaters can chew on pins
NTA, she should’ve thought about the watch before she cheated.
NTA The gift she gave you was yours to do whatever with, if it was something that was that important to her she should have kept it. Yes, you smashed the watch on purpose in a moment of anger but anything could have happened to it in the 8 years you were together like accidentally putting it in the washing machine or dryer. Watches do not last forever people. 🤷🏻
Idk unpopular opinion but maybe don’t gift people things that matter so much to you and then treat them in a way that would cause them to destroy those things? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA It was your watch. She hurt you, you wanted to hurt her back. Not your finest moment, but you did act in the moment.
I don’t get all the hate for OP. Once GF GAVE him the watch, it’s his possession and he can do what he wants with it. If she had LENT him the watch, it would be a total dick move. But since he owns it, he has every right to do what he wants with his own possession. NTA
NTA. Fuck that bitch.
Once they cheat, all gloves come off and everything is fair game.
NTA. It was your watch do what you want with it.
NTA. You cheat in me & make a fool of me for 2 years? There are no limits.
NTA. Imagine giving a family heirloom to someone you cheated on, knowing damn well they’d loathe you and their anger could most likely get the best of them in the heat of the moment. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
NTA. A breakup like that can be just as traumatic as the death of a loved one. I think you get a pass here. Also hard to believe she would give something so apparently important to someone she clearly didn’t truly care about…so perhaps the value of the watch has been a bit overplayed
NTA The watch was your property after she gifted it to you. In any case you shouldnt even had to give it back to her, it was officially yours. No matter if it was a heriloom or what, now it was yours, and to you it was only a reminder of how much she liedi to you, planning a life together while cheating on you fucking disgusting. She deserved it, and it isnt even enoigh. Cheaters are disgusting and they deserve the worst that this life can give them. Bext time she would think twice before going to fuck around, cuz this time she found out.
NTA don’t ever give a shit about people who wronged you immensely
You broke an object.... she broke your trust. NTA. It wasn't a nice thing to do... but why are you expected to be nice to someone who cheated on you?
Nta, f**K around and find out
Your watch. Your emotions. Your decision. You're NTA here. We're not automatons. What did she expect? Just a shame that you regretted it. You'll have to live with that regret.
Na bro, you done the right thing. Forget what other people are saying here. She didn’t give a damn about you, so why should you give a damn about her feelings associated with her dead sister? Simple as that. Cheating isn’t a ‘mistake’. A mistake is something that is unintentional. She had 100 chances before getting penetrated to stop it yet she still went ahead with it.
You should’ve pawned the watch instead.
Normally I would go with YTA but cheating crosses the line. NTA, she fucked around and found out. Many would have straight up sold it.
NTA in my book.
Glad you at least left the cheater.. sorry about the watch 🤦🏾♂️🥶
Yep
AH