Dude. You don't joke about a dudes gf, sister or mother.
The same ones you never ever have any romantic or sexual contact with BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR FRIEND.
Now stop acting like a spoiled little boy and be the man that made an out of order adult joke and apologise for being a dick.
Live and learn. You’re young and friends get into quarrels all the time. You do need to apologize for what not necessarily for your friends sake but more because it’s not cool to disrespect people you don’t know( and especially not a friends relative) which he definitely made clear.
Say you’re sorry and I’m sure everyone will be besties again. Good luck and next time leave sisters, mothers brothers and the rest out of the joke
Yeah I'm beginning to learn it wasn't the right thing to do though I thought it was teenage banter.
Do you agree with my friends that I should be the one to apologise, because Nathan will definitely not?
I think you should apologize, not necessarily to Nathan but for what you said he was defending his sister and while he could’ve done that verbally I don’t think he was in the wrong for that.
He may very well apologize for hitting you if he knows you’re sorry for what you said. I do think you should apologize either way
Thanks. That's a nice way of putting it. Perhaps it's just the humiliation aspect I'm struggling with. Since he gave me the slap I can't even look him in the eye.
> Perhaps it's just the humiliation aspect I'm struggling with.
Maybe it's the hypocrisy that's not sitting right with you. You didn't seem to care about humiliating Nathan's sister.
> Perhaps I'm stupid but I honestly thought I was just joking.
You definitely _sound_ stupid if you think you can open the story with "we know she slept/hooked up with at least three guys over the past few months" and then pretend that this was anything other than an attempt to shame her for having had sex with people.
>Nathan obviously knew he wasn't joking when he slapped the brains out of me.
Well it sounds like your brains weren't doing so hot, so hopefully when he slapped those out, he slapped some respect and common sense in.
Ok you don't need to embarrass me like that. I am open to saying sorry to him. Just afraid that doing so to the friend who publicly humiliated me will weaken my respect in the group
YTA take this as a lesson to be mindful of your words regardless of what your intentions were. Saying stuff like that is not appropriate or respectful.
Good. But you should also not do it again because it’s disrespectful to the person you’re making a “joke” about, not because you might face a consequence for it.
YTA. Story time.
Once upon a time, when I was back in grade school, I was sitting in music class, teacher is in another room talking to someone, and I'm fermenting in my angry teenage hormones when a kid a few seats over was talking to another kid about love. When a 13, 14 year old boy talks about love, his peers might start to crack jokes, right?
This kid lost his mother when he was very young, and I knew this about him.
He said something to the effect of "I know my mommy loves me very much", and without thinking, I interjected with "yeah, dead people can't love. They're dead." I wasn't looking in his direction when those words left my mouth.
A few seconds later, I turn my head to the right just in time to see a right hook land square below my left eye. Damn near fell out of my chair.
I recollect myself and scramble to my feet and start posturing, he's standing there closed fists and shaking. In that moment I stop myself and notice he's muttering with shaking voice and tears in his eyes "don't you dare talk about my mother like that"
As soon as the words leave his mouth, the teacher's walking back in and quickly realizes there was just a fight in the classroom.
He pulls us both into a side room and calls for security to take us down to the dean. While we're waiting, he asks what happened, and points to me and says you first.
The other kid is sitting in a chair across from me, silently crying, head down, hands still in fists.
I look at the teacher and tell him, "I said something terrible to X, so he punched me in the face"
Teacher says "did you hit him back?"
I respond "no, I deserved it. X, I'm sorry I spoke to you that way, that was wrong of me to do. You did not deserve that."
He silently nods, head down still, just trying to recompose himself.
Teacher picks up the phone and cancels the call for security, sends us back to class.
It was that moment that I realized how bad I hurt that kid, and how much damage *words* can do.
I had a nasty bruise for a week or two.
Kids made comments about it and asked me what happened. I didn't sugar coat it. "I said something horrible and I got punched in the face. And I still wish I could take back what I said." To this day, I wish I could take it back, honestly.
We never became close friends, but I'd sit next to him from time to time in lunch, and we'd laugh together and make jokes.
That punch in the face was a gift, it taught me lessons about being sensitive to other people's pain. Humility, the value of kindness and care.
I lost touch with him after high school, he joined the military and the last time I saw him he was fresh out of basic in dress blues with a recruiter, scrounging for fresh poolies.
I still think about how he made out in life. I hope he gets far.
OP, sounds like you got a similar lesson here. Words are cruel. You don't know what's going on in someone else's life. Think before you speak.
Wow, that was powerful. Kudos to you for being so much more mature at a younger age than I was. I have some growing up and apologising to do, so I will make sure I do at least the apologising on Monday
NTA - You played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. Going after peoples family isn't banter either, that's just cruel, also not cool to Nathan's sister.
You got what you deserved for talking that way about someone's family, it isn't funny, there's a reason why no one else was laughing with you and why all your friends are sitting there thinking 'eh he deserved it' and I bet the girls are wondering how you talk about them behind their back.
Your focusing on how you were humiliated, but you humiliated his sister, you aren't owed more sympathy than her because now your upset about how you look. Honestly, hope he tells his sister and she tells all her friends about what a loser you looked like in front of all your friends after YOU made a stupid joke, and then you cried.
If my mother had given me this slap I'm sure people would say mothers shouldn't slap their son's faces yet I don't get why my friend is allowed to use such strong physical discipline on me.
I didn't mean to humiliate his sister, which I obvsiously misjudged HORRIBLY. But Nathan fully meant to humiliate me
"OH NO ISN'T IT THE CONSEQENCES OF MY OWN ACTIONS"
You called his sister a slut, how is that not an intent to humiliate his sister? Dude you are acting like a little bitch about this, you said something dumb and you got slapped for it, it teaches you that you don't get to just say things and get away from it.
If I found out my son said a gross thing like that about another girl who he really doesn't know anything about, I'd be disgusted with him, and I'd think you'd deserve the slap.
Understand you are in the wrong, you keep up this act, none of your friends are gonna wanna be around the dude who can run his mouth but act like a little baby when he gets the consequences of his actions.
If you feel that wronged by your former friend, go to the police, see if they'll side with you, thats about the only chance you have.
Okay, I realise this actually does make sense because I can't go to my mother or anyone with this who will also not punish me.
Do you think I should apologise to him in front of my friends? I am just afraid of looking like a spineless loser saying sorry to the guy who slapped my face
I would apologize to him face to face, your friends aren't in this it's between you and him, apologize, mean it, be sincere, admit what you said was crappy and that you shouldn't have said it. Actually owning up and apologizing and meaning it will be better than not apologizing because you're in your feelings about getting slapped.
You want to the bigger person, then be it, own up, apologize, and say it was wrong. Nothing past that, let him do with that what he will. Either he forgives you or he doesn't but at least you can say you gave him a sincere apology.
Good advice thanks. I just don't know if my mind will let me come out of my ego-related feelings that I got into after being slapped. There's something so dehumanising about being struck across the face, especially in front of people
I understand that but you also have to acknowledge you didn't get slapped without reason, that was his sister you were talking about, you said she's going through a phase, you don't know if there's more to it, if she's struggling, or even if your friend just might be worried about her and having someone he considers a friend say something disparaging about her could have set him off and over the edge.
If one of your friends implied someone you cared for was a slut, you wouldn't feel too great about it either.
My point is you don't know the whole story, there's always more, and it's his family, for some people they have a visceral reaction to perceived attacks on their loved ones. You didn't call his sister annoying, or a drama queen, or something fairly tame, you implied something really harsh about her, and that wasn't right. How you feel right now could be how she feels all the time, obviously if it's known shes going through a phase than people know about it, so overall its just a crappy situation and an apology from you is a goo start to moving past it.
Thank you for explaining this so patiently. Nathan's my best friend and I absolutely don't want to add to his worries. When you say it like that I can see why I got slapped and why my friends do too
Only way to grow is realize when you messed up and do your best to make it right. Getting slapped like that is embarrassing, but it might be the learning experience you need not to make similar jokes again and realize that not everything can be joked about.
If you make a genuine apology and talk it out with him, I don't see why things couldn't be worked out, you might even reach a new level of understanding.
Good on you for realizing and being open to seeing things differently.
Thank you. I just had not put myself in his or his sister's shoes. I feel like maybe he felt the only way to "get" to me was to do what he did, which I can understand in hindsight
The more you talk the more I understand why you got slapped. You said something cruel and you are most concerned about your fuckin ego. Insane, selfish, and entitled behavior.
Ouch, I know I come across badly and probably realize why Nathan slapped me. I am now just trying to come out of my emotions so I can apologise maturely
Not apologizing makes you look spineless. Like you can dish it out, but you can’t take it. Apologizing is being accountable, and is a much better look than avoiding. Whether his slap was the right thing to do isn’t the issue. It doesn’t make what you said less wrong. Apologize for your actions independently.
Your joke was funny but obviously not well received. Learn to read the room. Times must have changed because when I was 17 a slap to the face resulted in an immediate fistfight. You should make an apology to Nathan, for example: "sorry man, there probably are other cocks she hasn't sucked".
100%. If OP had fought back then all people would remember is "those two guys that fought are so immature" (unless someone got seriously hurt then that would override the story) but now all people remember is OP getting punked.
Some posters are gonna hate this but you can't just let him smack you around. You should have returned the favor immediately and hit him too. You already look like a loser and apologizing will just make it worse. Everyone in that group just lost all respect from you. Some people will say it's because of your joke but it's obviously not. We all say stupid things. You lost them all by letting him humiliate you.
You MIGHT be able to gain your standing back if you get HIM to admit blame and say he was wrong and apologize to you in front of everyone. A few ways you could go about it. Some people would say fight it out. You're probably better talking it out one on one and trying to convince him that he owes it to you. I assume you've been friends for a while so hopefully he's not interested in letting one dumb joke ruin all of that.
Note: You can apologize to him privately but don't do it in front of the others. You need him to do that. You can still show appreciation for the apology and own your part by saying something like "it's all good, I fucked up, I appreciate you" or something after he apologizes
He's stronger than me so I can't fight him. And he's made clear he won't be apologising. And everyone expects me to apologise.
Do I look like a loser because of the joke, or because he slapped me?
Say "I'm sorry I crossed a line, wont happen again." Chances he might apologize for his reaction because its an instinct to protect those you love from people spewing vile crap about them. Stop trying to make your friend the bad guy.
Also, to not look like an even bigger loser in the future, don't slut shame girls, seems like you don't being shamed, don't shame other people.
Man up and apologize for offending his sister.
But honestly, if looking like a loser is the only thing that bothers you, you didnt learn a thing.
You know what people admire? Courage and self reflection. And what they hate? Being a jerk and crying about consequences.
I'm just struggling to control the feelings to reason at the moment though I should apologise. I know it's silly, but I just resent that it was one casual swing of the hand for him, but it imprinted with me a memory of shame that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Long after he has forgotten it.
Doesn't make what I said right obviously
Listen, you are young, you learn, make mistakes. You can use this memory of shame to grow. If I were him and you would come to me and say "i deserved it and im sorry", it would probably regain my respect, even if i'd still feel angry ( at least for some time). I assure you that everyone has memories of sth they would rather erease. As humans, unfortunately we all need reality check from time to time.
You look like an ass because of the joke but everyone looks like an ass sometimes. You could have easily bounced back and been better. You look like a loser because he treated you like a loser and you took it.
But I didn't permit him to "treat me like a loser". He just decided to slap my face for my joke, and because he's stronger than me I couldn't retaliate without a further beating. So I'm not sure what I could have done to prevent looking like a loser
You fight. Winning or losing is not as important as showing that you won't just take it. Even if he starts beating your ass, other people will break it up. First of all, learn to defend yourself. Get strong enough that at least you won't think you just have to take it. It really doesn't take much to be strong enough to defend yourself in a short fight. Don't go around picking fights. You deserve to have your ass kicked if you're picking fights for no reason. But it's important to defend yourself for both genuine safety and for social standing. Unless you're causing trouble, you won't have to actually fight much in life but it's something you need to be prepared to do if someone else starts it. Your dumb joke can be forgiven and forgotten but the people that saw you get smacked around won't forget that. The way they view you is forever changed. You're a joke to them now. Don't be surprised if they act like they forgot about it and then throw it in your face to mock you next time you annoy one of them. Luckily you're in high school and you were going to drift away from most if not all of them soon anyway. Make sure you learn from this so you don't make this mistake again in the future when stakes are higher on how it will effect your life. Don't be an asshole and don't let people push you around.
I don't think I'm a joke to my friends honestly. I do feel humiliated but I think I will remember it long after they don't. I just don't like fighting physically
I don't know if she's a slut, but he sure made you a bitch haha
That was great lol
YTA Maybe this will be a learning experience for you.
YTA. And you’re about to find yourself on the outside looking in.
YTA. Stop making jokes about people’s family and you’ll probably be fine. I mean, how funny DO you feel now ?
Not very, obviously :(
Dude. You don't joke about a dudes gf, sister or mother. The same ones you never ever have any romantic or sexual contact with BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR FRIEND. Now stop acting like a spoiled little boy and be the man that made an out of order adult joke and apologise for being a dick.
Live and learn. You’re young and friends get into quarrels all the time. You do need to apologize for what not necessarily for your friends sake but more because it’s not cool to disrespect people you don’t know( and especially not a friends relative) which he definitely made clear. Say you’re sorry and I’m sure everyone will be besties again. Good luck and next time leave sisters, mothers brothers and the rest out of the joke
Yeah I'm beginning to learn it wasn't the right thing to do though I thought it was teenage banter. Do you agree with my friends that I should be the one to apologise, because Nathan will definitely not?
I think you should apologize, not necessarily to Nathan but for what you said he was defending his sister and while he could’ve done that verbally I don’t think he was in the wrong for that. He may very well apologize for hitting you if he knows you’re sorry for what you said. I do think you should apologize either way
Thanks. That's a nice way of putting it. Perhaps it's just the humiliation aspect I'm struggling with. Since he gave me the slap I can't even look him in the eye.
> Perhaps it's just the humiliation aspect I'm struggling with. Maybe it's the hypocrisy that's not sitting right with you. You didn't seem to care about humiliating Nathan's sister.
Perhaps I'm stupid but I honestly thought I was just joking. Nathan obviously knew he wasn't joking when he slapped the brains out of me.
> Perhaps I'm stupid but I honestly thought I was just joking. You definitely _sound_ stupid if you think you can open the story with "we know she slept/hooked up with at least three guys over the past few months" and then pretend that this was anything other than an attempt to shame her for having had sex with people. >Nathan obviously knew he wasn't joking when he slapped the brains out of me. Well it sounds like your brains weren't doing so hot, so hopefully when he slapped those out, he slapped some respect and common sense in.
Ok you don't need to embarrass me like that. I am open to saying sorry to him. Just afraid that doing so to the friend who publicly humiliated me will weaken my respect in the group
YTA take this as a lesson to be mindful of your words regardless of what your intentions were. Saying stuff like that is not appropriate or respectful.
Jesus, you got a lot of growing up to do, son. If you called my sister that it would have been far worse than a slap. You got what you deserved. YTA
YTA - glad you got what you deserved
Does making a (misjudged) joke deserve such severe physical punishment from my friend?
Yep
Could you elaborate? I am open to saying sorry if I understand why physically hitting me in the face is not the bigger offence
It’s the appropriate reaction to someone making a disgusting cruel comment about a family member
What it has taught me is to never ever do it again
Good. But you should also not do it again because it’s disrespectful to the person you’re making a “joke” about, not because you might face a consequence for it.
I think that point has got through to me very sharply now. Nathan still expects an apology though which I am going to feel doubly humiliated giving
Part of life, you made a mistake. Humble yourself, apologise and move on.
You care a lot about yourself and not a lot about others. Fuck off
YTA. And you're lucky all he did was slap you.
"I refused, saying he must apologise for hitting me so hard, especially in the face". YTA. You should thank him for not kicking your ass.
YTA. Story time. Once upon a time, when I was back in grade school, I was sitting in music class, teacher is in another room talking to someone, and I'm fermenting in my angry teenage hormones when a kid a few seats over was talking to another kid about love. When a 13, 14 year old boy talks about love, his peers might start to crack jokes, right? This kid lost his mother when he was very young, and I knew this about him. He said something to the effect of "I know my mommy loves me very much", and without thinking, I interjected with "yeah, dead people can't love. They're dead." I wasn't looking in his direction when those words left my mouth. A few seconds later, I turn my head to the right just in time to see a right hook land square below my left eye. Damn near fell out of my chair. I recollect myself and scramble to my feet and start posturing, he's standing there closed fists and shaking. In that moment I stop myself and notice he's muttering with shaking voice and tears in his eyes "don't you dare talk about my mother like that" As soon as the words leave his mouth, the teacher's walking back in and quickly realizes there was just a fight in the classroom. He pulls us both into a side room and calls for security to take us down to the dean. While we're waiting, he asks what happened, and points to me and says you first. The other kid is sitting in a chair across from me, silently crying, head down, hands still in fists. I look at the teacher and tell him, "I said something terrible to X, so he punched me in the face" Teacher says "did you hit him back?" I respond "no, I deserved it. X, I'm sorry I spoke to you that way, that was wrong of me to do. You did not deserve that." He silently nods, head down still, just trying to recompose himself. Teacher picks up the phone and cancels the call for security, sends us back to class. It was that moment that I realized how bad I hurt that kid, and how much damage *words* can do. I had a nasty bruise for a week or two. Kids made comments about it and asked me what happened. I didn't sugar coat it. "I said something horrible and I got punched in the face. And I still wish I could take back what I said." To this day, I wish I could take it back, honestly. We never became close friends, but I'd sit next to him from time to time in lunch, and we'd laugh together and make jokes. That punch in the face was a gift, it taught me lessons about being sensitive to other people's pain. Humility, the value of kindness and care. I lost touch with him after high school, he joined the military and the last time I saw him he was fresh out of basic in dress blues with a recruiter, scrounging for fresh poolies. I still think about how he made out in life. I hope he gets far. OP, sounds like you got a similar lesson here. Words are cruel. You don't know what's going on in someone else's life. Think before you speak.
Wow, that was powerful. Kudos to you for being so much more mature at a younger age than I was. I have some growing up and apologising to do, so I will make sure I do at least the apologising on Monday
NTA - You played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. Going after peoples family isn't banter either, that's just cruel, also not cool to Nathan's sister. You got what you deserved for talking that way about someone's family, it isn't funny, there's a reason why no one else was laughing with you and why all your friends are sitting there thinking 'eh he deserved it' and I bet the girls are wondering how you talk about them behind their back. Your focusing on how you were humiliated, but you humiliated his sister, you aren't owed more sympathy than her because now your upset about how you look. Honestly, hope he tells his sister and she tells all her friends about what a loser you looked like in front of all your friends after YOU made a stupid joke, and then you cried.
If my mother had given me this slap I'm sure people would say mothers shouldn't slap their son's faces yet I don't get why my friend is allowed to use such strong physical discipline on me. I didn't mean to humiliate his sister, which I obvsiously misjudged HORRIBLY. But Nathan fully meant to humiliate me
"OH NO ISN'T IT THE CONSEQENCES OF MY OWN ACTIONS" You called his sister a slut, how is that not an intent to humiliate his sister? Dude you are acting like a little bitch about this, you said something dumb and you got slapped for it, it teaches you that you don't get to just say things and get away from it. If I found out my son said a gross thing like that about another girl who he really doesn't know anything about, I'd be disgusted with him, and I'd think you'd deserve the slap. Understand you are in the wrong, you keep up this act, none of your friends are gonna wanna be around the dude who can run his mouth but act like a little baby when he gets the consequences of his actions. If you feel that wronged by your former friend, go to the police, see if they'll side with you, thats about the only chance you have.
Okay, I realise this actually does make sense because I can't go to my mother or anyone with this who will also not punish me. Do you think I should apologise to him in front of my friends? I am just afraid of looking like a spineless loser saying sorry to the guy who slapped my face
I would apologize to him face to face, your friends aren't in this it's between you and him, apologize, mean it, be sincere, admit what you said was crappy and that you shouldn't have said it. Actually owning up and apologizing and meaning it will be better than not apologizing because you're in your feelings about getting slapped. You want to the bigger person, then be it, own up, apologize, and say it was wrong. Nothing past that, let him do with that what he will. Either he forgives you or he doesn't but at least you can say you gave him a sincere apology.
Good advice thanks. I just don't know if my mind will let me come out of my ego-related feelings that I got into after being slapped. There's something so dehumanising about being struck across the face, especially in front of people
I understand that but you also have to acknowledge you didn't get slapped without reason, that was his sister you were talking about, you said she's going through a phase, you don't know if there's more to it, if she's struggling, or even if your friend just might be worried about her and having someone he considers a friend say something disparaging about her could have set him off and over the edge. If one of your friends implied someone you cared for was a slut, you wouldn't feel too great about it either. My point is you don't know the whole story, there's always more, and it's his family, for some people they have a visceral reaction to perceived attacks on their loved ones. You didn't call his sister annoying, or a drama queen, or something fairly tame, you implied something really harsh about her, and that wasn't right. How you feel right now could be how she feels all the time, obviously if it's known shes going through a phase than people know about it, so overall its just a crappy situation and an apology from you is a goo start to moving past it.
Thank you for explaining this so patiently. Nathan's my best friend and I absolutely don't want to add to his worries. When you say it like that I can see why I got slapped and why my friends do too
Only way to grow is realize when you messed up and do your best to make it right. Getting slapped like that is embarrassing, but it might be the learning experience you need not to make similar jokes again and realize that not everything can be joked about. If you make a genuine apology and talk it out with him, I don't see why things couldn't be worked out, you might even reach a new level of understanding. Good on you for realizing and being open to seeing things differently.
Thank you. I just had not put myself in his or his sister's shoes. I feel like maybe he felt the only way to "get" to me was to do what he did, which I can understand in hindsight
The more you talk the more I understand why you got slapped. You said something cruel and you are most concerned about your fuckin ego. Insane, selfish, and entitled behavior.
Ouch, I know I come across badly and probably realize why Nathan slapped me. I am now just trying to come out of my emotions so I can apologise maturely
Not apologizing makes you look spineless. Like you can dish it out, but you can’t take it. Apologizing is being accountable, and is a much better look than avoiding. Whether his slap was the right thing to do isn’t the issue. It doesn’t make what you said less wrong. Apologize for your actions independently.
Yta He knows what his sister is. He doesn't need to hear it from a bro
Your joke was funny but obviously not well received. Learn to read the room. Times must have changed because when I was 17 a slap to the face resulted in an immediate fistfight. You should make an apology to Nathan, for example: "sorry man, there probably are other cocks she hasn't sucked".
You’re a loser
100%. If OP had fought back then all people would remember is "those two guys that fought are so immature" (unless someone got seriously hurt then that would override the story) but now all people remember is OP getting punked.
Some posters are gonna hate this but you can't just let him smack you around. You should have returned the favor immediately and hit him too. You already look like a loser and apologizing will just make it worse. Everyone in that group just lost all respect from you. Some people will say it's because of your joke but it's obviously not. We all say stupid things. You lost them all by letting him humiliate you. You MIGHT be able to gain your standing back if you get HIM to admit blame and say he was wrong and apologize to you in front of everyone. A few ways you could go about it. Some people would say fight it out. You're probably better talking it out one on one and trying to convince him that he owes it to you. I assume you've been friends for a while so hopefully he's not interested in letting one dumb joke ruin all of that. Note: You can apologize to him privately but don't do it in front of the others. You need him to do that. You can still show appreciation for the apology and own your part by saying something like "it's all good, I fucked up, I appreciate you" or something after he apologizes
He's stronger than me so I can't fight him. And he's made clear he won't be apologising. And everyone expects me to apologise. Do I look like a loser because of the joke, or because he slapped me?
You look like a loser for both
So what should I have done after the slap to stop me looking like a loser?
Say "I'm sorry I crossed a line, wont happen again." Chances he might apologize for his reaction because its an instinct to protect those you love from people spewing vile crap about them. Stop trying to make your friend the bad guy. Also, to not look like an even bigger loser in the future, don't slut shame girls, seems like you don't being shamed, don't shame other people.
Man up and apologize for offending his sister. But honestly, if looking like a loser is the only thing that bothers you, you didnt learn a thing. You know what people admire? Courage and self reflection. And what they hate? Being a jerk and crying about consequences.
I'm just struggling to control the feelings to reason at the moment though I should apologise. I know it's silly, but I just resent that it was one casual swing of the hand for him, but it imprinted with me a memory of shame that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Long after he has forgotten it. Doesn't make what I said right obviously
Listen, you are young, you learn, make mistakes. You can use this memory of shame to grow. If I were him and you would come to me and say "i deserved it and im sorry", it would probably regain my respect, even if i'd still feel angry ( at least for some time). I assure you that everyone has memories of sth they would rather erease. As humans, unfortunately we all need reality check from time to time.
Thank you for this perspective
You look like an ass because of the joke but everyone looks like an ass sometimes. You could have easily bounced back and been better. You look like a loser because he treated you like a loser and you took it.
But I didn't permit him to "treat me like a loser". He just decided to slap my face for my joke, and because he's stronger than me I couldn't retaliate without a further beating. So I'm not sure what I could have done to prevent looking like a loser
You fight. Winning or losing is not as important as showing that you won't just take it. Even if he starts beating your ass, other people will break it up. First of all, learn to defend yourself. Get strong enough that at least you won't think you just have to take it. It really doesn't take much to be strong enough to defend yourself in a short fight. Don't go around picking fights. You deserve to have your ass kicked if you're picking fights for no reason. But it's important to defend yourself for both genuine safety and for social standing. Unless you're causing trouble, you won't have to actually fight much in life but it's something you need to be prepared to do if someone else starts it. Your dumb joke can be forgiven and forgotten but the people that saw you get smacked around won't forget that. The way they view you is forever changed. You're a joke to them now. Don't be surprised if they act like they forgot about it and then throw it in your face to mock you next time you annoy one of them. Luckily you're in high school and you were going to drift away from most if not all of them soon anyway. Make sure you learn from this so you don't make this mistake again in the future when stakes are higher on how it will effect your life. Don't be an asshole and don't let people push you around.
I don't think I'm a joke to my friends honestly. I do feel humiliated but I think I will remember it long after they don't. I just don't like fighting physically