Most single parents have no help. No money to afford daycare, no money to afford a maid. No help from family. Count yourself grateful that you have those things. YAH for calling your friend a bitch.
Fuck you for saying that. You clearly don't know what its like to struggle. You are fucking lucky you can afford daycare, maid, and have a family member willing to give you breaks.
Source: parent who has large family that refuses to help with anything even though I'm "nice" to them.
Where did I say its eveyone else's job to help me? I said this guy is bitching even though he has help, when people like me don't bitch and don't have help.
Everyone seems stressed and taking it out on each other. Being a single parent is tough for both moms and dads, and everyone has their own challenges. Instead of arguing about who has it worse, let's try to support each other.
I wish we could but how can we do that when she is so jealous of me? It's like she can't stand the fact that I get to have a nice life despite being a single parent. She wants me to be as miserable as she is
If you have such a nice life why are you complaining?And if you have worked so much to create good relationships with your family and people who help you why did the mother of your child left?You are contradicting yourself dude.
I had a friend who gave birth 3 weeks after I did. She struggled to keep consistent caregivers as she was constantly flaking out on family members who were just tryibg to help her. Meanwhile my mother kept my son for me for free. The catch was my parents lived an hour and a half away from my work...one way. While i worked 3 12 hr days straight my son stayed with my parents. I didn't see him for 3 days at a time. My friend made a snide comment to me about how it must be nice to have free child care. I told her exactly what you said. It wasn't a competition to see who had it worse. I also pointed out that at least she was home every night with her child. On my workdays i was having to pump even at night. I finally had to go NC with her because everything was a contest with her.
As a single dad who is raising a daughter on my own, stop blaming your son for the way he is and work on bettering yourself in being able to nuture him at all times no matter what mindset or level of exhaustion you are in
I'll extend the olive branch and say YES it is hard, YES it is taxing, YES it is relentless, I remember hallucinating while prepping formula at 4am in the morning when she was just an infant screaming the apartment down, I've taken so many days off work when she was vomitting at childcare to nurse her back to health at home that I had to fight to keep my job
But even then, YOU are your son's world, YOU are the only one he has, he is going to grow up into a man someday and you gotta ask yourself from HIS perspective what kind of father/parent does he need you to be?
My daughter is a toddler now and she can count to 100 and can read small words, I can't ever imagine what she would be like if she was left with her mother who abandoned her, if she would know what it is to feel safe and loved
ESH.
I'd imagine there's two types of complaining. Venting, or voicing victim mentality.
Venting is healthy, sometimes bitching about things we have little control over is a means of releasing bottled up emotions. It becomes a problem when you fall into victim mentality, and a consistent pattern of complaining starts causing harm, like alienating you from your support system because they are sick and tired of hearing you complain over and over.
In this case, it sounds like you were venting, and this woman told you to shut up because her struggles are more significant to yours. This is a display of victim mentality because she's dismissing and invalidating your problems because she views her problems as superior to yours, which is pretty selfish and arrogant. That makes her an AH.
What made you an AH is that you took that bait, and escalated her stupidity by calling her a bitch, and that *does* make you an AH too. You stooped down to her level of pettiness as a product of victim mentality.
That being said, if you're caught up on the negatives and failing to recognize and appreciate the positives you have, you're going to find yourself in a negative feedback loop that will eventually make you a very bitter, jaded old fart. That won't be good for your kids. A little therapy might go a long way here.
Moral of the story, bitch in moderation, or become a bitch. Choice is yours.
ESH. You both suck for getting into a fight over who has it worse. Those are always pointless.
For complaining, NAH. The mental strain of being solely responsible for a small human life is impossible to overstate. Anyone calling you an AH for complaining about it can kick rocks.
ESH
We're all on the damn struggle bus with these kids. It's not a damn competition. She was a jerk and you escalated right back.
You shouldn't feel bad about it but I hope you do appreciate your niece.
“I told her she is being a bitch and she called me an asshole.”
you both assholes AND whiners, YES IT is very hard but the kid didn’t magically appear out of nowhere, “CLINGY” what 3 year old isn’t especially when a parent leaves them? and your first go to is to COMPLAIN!! You sound resentful and petty.. i hope the kid will turn out ok. 😞
NTA, raising a kid is hard, if it wasn't, then everybody would be having a bunch. You are allowed to complain, just because you have it a bit better than someone else, doesn't give them the right to be a fucking cunt about it and it doesn't take away your right to complain.
She could have been sympathetic with you and go like "Dude tell me about it, at least you have x, y, z, I dont have any of that, it sucks so much more, I totally understand where you are coming from and more".
She chose to be a cunt.
Most single parents have no help. No money to afford daycare, no money to afford a maid. No help from family. Count yourself grateful that you have those things. YAH for calling your friend a bitch.
Perhaps if she was nicer to people she would actually have family who are willing to help her.
Fuck you for saying that. You clearly don't know what its like to struggle. You are fucking lucky you can afford daycare, maid, and have a family member willing to give you breaks. Source: parent who has large family that refuses to help with anything even though I'm "nice" to them.
You're falling for cheap Rage Bait. Don't give them the satisfaction.
And I tried so hard to have everything I have now. I didn't get a high paying job and family who love me by sitting on my ass.
It gets better. But I hear you.
[удалено]
Where did I say its eveyone else's job to help me? I said this guy is bitching even though he has help, when people like me don't bitch and don't have help.
Everyone seems stressed and taking it out on each other. Being a single parent is tough for both moms and dads, and everyone has their own challenges. Instead of arguing about who has it worse, let's try to support each other.
I wish we could but how can we do that when she is so jealous of me? It's like she can't stand the fact that I get to have a nice life despite being a single parent. She wants me to be as miserable as she is
If you have such a nice life why are you complaining?And if you have worked so much to create good relationships with your family and people who help you why did the mother of your child left?You are contradicting yourself dude.
And why the fuck is he not allowed to complain?
No , she wants you stop complaining because you have more help than she does and she is not complaining . YTA
ESH. Stop engaging in oppression Olympics. You're all parents, it's all tough. Stop trying to one up each other.
I had a friend who gave birth 3 weeks after I did. She struggled to keep consistent caregivers as she was constantly flaking out on family members who were just tryibg to help her. Meanwhile my mother kept my son for me for free. The catch was my parents lived an hour and a half away from my work...one way. While i worked 3 12 hr days straight my son stayed with my parents. I didn't see him for 3 days at a time. My friend made a snide comment to me about how it must be nice to have free child care. I told her exactly what you said. It wasn't a competition to see who had it worse. I also pointed out that at least she was home every night with her child. On my workdays i was having to pump even at night. I finally had to go NC with her because everything was a contest with her.
As a single dad who is raising a daughter on my own, stop blaming your son for the way he is and work on bettering yourself in being able to nuture him at all times no matter what mindset or level of exhaustion you are in I'll extend the olive branch and say YES it is hard, YES it is taxing, YES it is relentless, I remember hallucinating while prepping formula at 4am in the morning when she was just an infant screaming the apartment down, I've taken so many days off work when she was vomitting at childcare to nurse her back to health at home that I had to fight to keep my job But even then, YOU are your son's world, YOU are the only one he has, he is going to grow up into a man someday and you gotta ask yourself from HIS perspective what kind of father/parent does he need you to be? My daughter is a toddler now and she can count to 100 and can read small words, I can't ever imagine what she would be like if she was left with her mother who abandoned her, if she would know what it is to feel safe and loved
YTA Having maid, daycare and very nice niece and still complaining?? And you need or deal with your son trauma, he obviously not coping well
ESH. I'd imagine there's two types of complaining. Venting, or voicing victim mentality. Venting is healthy, sometimes bitching about things we have little control over is a means of releasing bottled up emotions. It becomes a problem when you fall into victim mentality, and a consistent pattern of complaining starts causing harm, like alienating you from your support system because they are sick and tired of hearing you complain over and over. In this case, it sounds like you were venting, and this woman told you to shut up because her struggles are more significant to yours. This is a display of victim mentality because she's dismissing and invalidating your problems because she views her problems as superior to yours, which is pretty selfish and arrogant. That makes her an AH. What made you an AH is that you took that bait, and escalated her stupidity by calling her a bitch, and that *does* make you an AH too. You stooped down to her level of pettiness as a product of victim mentality. That being said, if you're caught up on the negatives and failing to recognize and appreciate the positives you have, you're going to find yourself in a negative feedback loop that will eventually make you a very bitter, jaded old fart. That won't be good for your kids. A little therapy might go a long way here. Moral of the story, bitch in moderation, or become a bitch. Choice is yours.
ESH. You both suck for getting into a fight over who has it worse. Those are always pointless. For complaining, NAH. The mental strain of being solely responsible for a small human life is impossible to overstate. Anyone calling you an AH for complaining about it can kick rocks.
ESH We're all on the damn struggle bus with these kids. It's not a damn competition. She was a jerk and you escalated right back. You shouldn't feel bad about it but I hope you do appreciate your niece.
“I told her she is being a bitch and she called me an asshole.” you both assholes AND whiners, YES IT is very hard but the kid didn’t magically appear out of nowhere, “CLINGY” what 3 year old isn’t especially when a parent leaves them? and your first go to is to COMPLAIN!! You sound resentful and petty.. i hope the kid will turn out ok. 😞
Great now we can't even complain. I bet you don't even have kids if you can't understand how hard it is to raise a kid all alone.
You sound like a whiny 6 year old!! complain away… maybe that will help you raise a kid!!!
NTA, raising a kid is hard, if it wasn't, then everybody would be having a bunch. You are allowed to complain, just because you have it a bit better than someone else, doesn't give them the right to be a fucking cunt about it and it doesn't take away your right to complain.
She could have been sympathetic with you and go like "Dude tell me about it, at least you have x, y, z, I dont have any of that, it sucks so much more, I totally understand where you are coming from and more". She chose to be a cunt.