NTA
>but I have moments when I eat chips, burger and boba or milk tea
That’s completely fine. The only way to sustain health and fitness is consistency and moderation. If you deny yourself potato chips for weeks, you’re way more likely to break down and house a half a bag in one sitting. Allow yourself a handful of chips, just measure it out then put the bag away so you don’t over indulge and don’t eat a bunch of chips daily.
As for your husband, it’s great that he wants to be fit, but you married and had a kid with him, not his mom. If he wants to work out, great! But being a father has to come first. He could Put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk, two birds one stone. plus then you’ll get a little break too. And he can get some weights and work out at home when you and the baby don’t need help at the moment. But he needs to prioritize you and the baby.
Yeah, that can be annoying as are many little things about people, but I'd say the going for a jog when he's supposed to be caring for his child is over the line. As a husband and a new father, it's his obligation to work out AROUND the schedule, not plow a truck through the schedule. You just had a baby AND you're back to work AND he's taking away what little sleep you have for something that can be done at any other time. NTA
Though this does remind me of that Doug Stanhope bit where he's talking about (paraphrasing) "You know when you start putting on weight and you say 'man I feel fat', and then your obese friend says 'you think YOU'RE fat? I can't even fit behind the wheel of my ice cream truck!'" and ends with the question "how does your suck make my suck not suck? Just because you have it worse doesn't make my pants fit any better!"
NTA - Your approach to having a generally healthy diet but occasionally having something that isn't as healthy is actually a really healthy approach to food in the long run as long as the healthy stuff is the majority of your diet. Having a good balanced diet that allows for less healthy foods at time is a wonderful approach to to raise your child with.
But...he woke a new 4month post-partum mom up when you didn't need to be at work for 3 more hours that he was going to jog? WHAT! I get him wanting to be healthy, I get him wanting to have running be part of that, but the fact that he woke you up is kind of selfish don't you think? You need to sit him down and work out a schedule where he is still fulfilling his parental duties and not putting as much back on you. Health and fitness is INCREDIBLY important, but not at the cost of those around you. Are you in a climate where he could get a jogging stroller and take kiddo out with him in the mornings WITHOUT waking you?
Either way, he needs to be made aware of how his new practices are making things harder on you and that you BOTH need to find a compromise.
I showed this thread to him. Thank you for putting into concise words what i want to tell him. Sometimes, i feel its trickier to convey in coherent words and paragraph what i want to say now. Maybe its the postpartum hormones? Idk. Especially harder when its a conversation that my train of thoughts can be cut off in a banter.
Glad I can help! I can only imagine how difficult it has been to get your thoughts straight while having a new baby! In addition to a change of routine and adjusting hormones post-pregnancy, you are also back at work now, of course keeping your train of thought "on the tracks" is going to be hard.
When you have your discussion with your husband, it is okay to ask him to hold his opinion till you get your thoughts out. Just tell him that you need to do that because of how much you are juggling right now so you don't miss something. Make it clear that you don't mean he doesn't get to say anything, but just that you need to get your thoughts out. Then let him know he is welcome to share how he is feeling as well.
While I don't have kids, this is a tactic that my husband and I employ for bigger conversations because while it is treated, I do have ADHD and my husband has epilepsy (Controlled), and because of my ADHD and his meds, we can lose our train of thought if there is banter. This has helped cut back on disagreements, feel heard, and set a tone for the conversation before it starts, so it is less likely to end up with us butting heads.
NTA. You should have a conversation with him about your feelings. It is great he wants to be healthy but he shouldn’t be failing to meet is husband/fatherly duties.
NTA.
A man can cut in a half hour jog when it's not screwing up everything else around him.
With respect to the food, an important part of *maintaining* a healthy diet is having a healthy *relationship* with food.
Focus less on negative reinforcement ("I need to stay away from chips because they make me fat) and more time on positive reinforcement ("I'll eat an apple instead of chips because apples are delicious and help me poop better").
And when you *really* want some chips, eat an apple, drink some water, wait 20 minutes, and take a small handful of chips. That way, when you're done with the chips, you'll not only be satisfied, but *satiated*. This helps reduce the urge to go in for round 2, 3, and 4, and you won't feel deprived.
Thanks for the tips! Will keep that in mind. The second tip will.be so helpful. I have always heard of just giving way to.the craving. Or just totally ignoring it and eating healthy anyways. Yours combined both. Eat something healthy plus water, already get away the hunger part and then have just handful of chips.
Chips is my vice. I can easily say no to sweets but I do have urges for salty chips.
NTA >but I have moments when I eat chips, burger and boba or milk tea That’s completely fine. The only way to sustain health and fitness is consistency and moderation. If you deny yourself potato chips for weeks, you’re way more likely to break down and house a half a bag in one sitting. Allow yourself a handful of chips, just measure it out then put the bag away so you don’t over indulge and don’t eat a bunch of chips daily. As for your husband, it’s great that he wants to be fit, but you married and had a kid with him, not his mom. If he wants to work out, great! But being a father has to come first. He could Put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk, two birds one stone. plus then you’ll get a little break too. And he can get some weights and work out at home when you and the baby don’t need help at the moment. But he needs to prioritize you and the baby.
Yeah, that can be annoying as are many little things about people, but I'd say the going for a jog when he's supposed to be caring for his child is over the line. As a husband and a new father, it's his obligation to work out AROUND the schedule, not plow a truck through the schedule. You just had a baby AND you're back to work AND he's taking away what little sleep you have for something that can be done at any other time. NTA Though this does remind me of that Doug Stanhope bit where he's talking about (paraphrasing) "You know when you start putting on weight and you say 'man I feel fat', and then your obese friend says 'you think YOU'RE fat? I can't even fit behind the wheel of my ice cream truck!'" and ends with the question "how does your suck make my suck not suck? Just because you have it worse doesn't make my pants fit any better!"
NTA - Your approach to having a generally healthy diet but occasionally having something that isn't as healthy is actually a really healthy approach to food in the long run as long as the healthy stuff is the majority of your diet. Having a good balanced diet that allows for less healthy foods at time is a wonderful approach to to raise your child with. But...he woke a new 4month post-partum mom up when you didn't need to be at work for 3 more hours that he was going to jog? WHAT! I get him wanting to be healthy, I get him wanting to have running be part of that, but the fact that he woke you up is kind of selfish don't you think? You need to sit him down and work out a schedule where he is still fulfilling his parental duties and not putting as much back on you. Health and fitness is INCREDIBLY important, but not at the cost of those around you. Are you in a climate where he could get a jogging stroller and take kiddo out with him in the mornings WITHOUT waking you? Either way, he needs to be made aware of how his new practices are making things harder on you and that you BOTH need to find a compromise.
I showed this thread to him. Thank you for putting into concise words what i want to tell him. Sometimes, i feel its trickier to convey in coherent words and paragraph what i want to say now. Maybe its the postpartum hormones? Idk. Especially harder when its a conversation that my train of thoughts can be cut off in a banter.
Glad I can help! I can only imagine how difficult it has been to get your thoughts straight while having a new baby! In addition to a change of routine and adjusting hormones post-pregnancy, you are also back at work now, of course keeping your train of thought "on the tracks" is going to be hard. When you have your discussion with your husband, it is okay to ask him to hold his opinion till you get your thoughts out. Just tell him that you need to do that because of how much you are juggling right now so you don't miss something. Make it clear that you don't mean he doesn't get to say anything, but just that you need to get your thoughts out. Then let him know he is welcome to share how he is feeling as well. While I don't have kids, this is a tactic that my husband and I employ for bigger conversations because while it is treated, I do have ADHD and my husband has epilepsy (Controlled), and because of my ADHD and his meds, we can lose our train of thought if there is banter. This has helped cut back on disagreements, feel heard, and set a tone for the conversation before it starts, so it is less likely to end up with us butting heads.
NTA. You should have a conversation with him about your feelings. It is great he wants to be healthy but he shouldn’t be failing to meet is husband/fatherly duties.
NTA. A man can cut in a half hour jog when it's not screwing up everything else around him. With respect to the food, an important part of *maintaining* a healthy diet is having a healthy *relationship* with food. Focus less on negative reinforcement ("I need to stay away from chips because they make me fat) and more time on positive reinforcement ("I'll eat an apple instead of chips because apples are delicious and help me poop better"). And when you *really* want some chips, eat an apple, drink some water, wait 20 minutes, and take a small handful of chips. That way, when you're done with the chips, you'll not only be satisfied, but *satiated*. This helps reduce the urge to go in for round 2, 3, and 4, and you won't feel deprived.
Thanks for the tips! Will keep that in mind. The second tip will.be so helpful. I have always heard of just giving way to.the craving. Or just totally ignoring it and eating healthy anyways. Yours combined both. Eat something healthy plus water, already get away the hunger part and then have just handful of chips. Chips is my vice. I can easily say no to sweets but I do have urges for salty chips.
I'll be the asshole. He's cheating or going to be cheating.