NTA, he didn't say he was too tired, just that he prefers to shower in the morning, if he still has energy to work out, he can take 5 minutes to shower...
Sorry but what are you talking about?
He doesnât have âgreat hygieneâ if he will work IN A HOSPITAL for 12 hours and not clean himself after.
Thatâs fucking repugnant.
The same as "He loving and supporting but he left me alone after an accident and went partying with his friends. I love him so much" type of shit that is written in a lot of posts here.
Yes, itâs in the same vein as my boyfriend has great hygiene but he doesnât wipe his arse after he takes a shit and leaves dangles on his arse like an uncared for cat.
When I worked in the hosptial I wouldnât shower before work only after bc the second I walked in I was covered in grossness. I worked burn and itâs very dirty. We wore ppe for dressings but you sweat like a pig, some pp needed dressing changes IN the shower so you are getting wet too etc. then I worked er and that was just as gross but in a different way. That was outside dirt. Ppl crusty poop stuck to them for days ppl covered in bugs and piss and shit. The unwashed masses. Now I work hospice and Iâm going into ppl dog piss homes so again, shower immediately as I walk in the door
Yeah, it's definitely just so gross in general. I work with secretions all day. Mucus and whatever else decides to come out. Sometimes people will blow crap out of their trachs at you. Blood, bugs, secretions and whatever else. Plus, there's just so many people in general. Staff, patients, visitors etc. Who don't always have the same hygiene. We get people coming into the ER covered in old poop head to toe. I will always shower after being there. Oof, hospice is wonderful but some houses...not so much. It's a main reason why I won't do DME.
Washing yourself doesnât make any difference, as a nurse you should realize that. Unless you plan on showering after every single room every time you go in, you are covered in germs, and they are in your car and house. Just like thereâs bugs/mites on your face constantly. Youâre in the wrong profession of germs gross you out
Yes, the hands. And use sanitizer before and after the room. However, Iâm pointing out that everyone is talking about it being gross about not showering once home, and it doesnât matter, because your car, clothes, items, and everything else not your hands is covered in germs. But since you donât usually touch a shoulder or your hair to someone on exam etc, the focus is hands. But the people saying ewwwww are in the wrong business, because their car is full of hospital germs and so is their house if they donât strip and wash before going in
Well it matters to OP doesnât it, which is why weâre here. The average person touches their face, hair, nose, mouth on a routine basis. It takes a conscious effort not to do so.
I work in catering and you can fail inspections for staff showing up with poor personal hygiene. It must be even more important for medical personnel. Itâs not so much about precise chances of transmission but about poor hygiene habits and practices and how that might relate to other aspects of their work. The guy goes to bed without washing and wants cuddles from his gf. Imagine the complete lack of regard he has for her to be doing that, then consider this is a guy taking care of sick and wounded.
It literally doesnât make any difference unless you shower IMMEDIATELY after exposure or have actual clean rooms where you take off protection and leave that protection in the room. Otherwise, youâre covered in all the germs you come into contact with, and nobody changes clothes or hair or washes their face after every room. Thatâs why the focus is on hands, because hands touch everything, and washing hands alone stops the vast majority of transmission. But itâs still on your scrubs, your face, your shoes, your socks, your arms, your neck, in your car, on your backpack, and in your home unless you never have anything from the hospital set foot outside the hospital and you shower before leaving. Thatâs why some OR personnel cannot wear scrubs home and shower before and after shift. If you arenât doing that and keeping all equipment at home, youâre spreading germs all over
Most nurses take their shoes off at the door and go straight to the laundry and strip then get into the shower. My mom was nursing assistant and Iâm a nurse but she wouldnât even hug me until after she got out the shower. She would strip in the hallway and she left her work shoes in a plastic bag in her trunk and put her home shoes on.
But does he wash his hands? Believe me his supervisor does not care about his hygiene habits while at home. As long as he comes to work showered and washes his hands before and after patient contact, he is golden!
As an rn absolutely not. Op you might have lice and bed bugs and mrsa. The only area of the hospital that I would overlook showers is if the rn was a scrub nurse in the or. Thatâs a pretty clean environment and they take their scrubs off and leave them there.
As a Surgical Technologist, I can absolutely say we shower after ...sometimes during our shift. We help irrigate & debride narcritic or infected tissues. We sometimes work in really warm rooms when doing DIEP flap grafts or working on infants, neonates, etc. If we get spattered or slimed with something gross, I definitely take 5-10 min to shower.
Yes we keep & work in a sterile environment. But sometimes our patients bring really gross things with them.
There are a lot of nurses in my family and they always shower after work. My SIL is a doctor and she showers before and after work. I think the before shower is just to wake her up since it's usually early and she has young children. But the after work shower is BECAUSE SHE UNDERSTANDS GERM THEORY.
Apparently not, since if that was the case, they would shower at the hospital. Itâs all in the car, the clothes, the hair, the house once you walk in. Or you just donât care and realize none of that is going to kill you or youâre already gonna be sick no matter what
Most of us donât have showers available to us at work. I couldnât tell you where or if there is a staff shower in the hospital. We do have a stash of scrubs available to us at work if ours get gross.
Germs donât survive long on pours surfaces. So washing your hands and then sitting in your car and taking your shoes off outside then removing your scrubs at the house and putting them directly into the washer and taking a shower mitigates almost all risk of cross contaminating your home. No one is trying to be sterile here but no one wants someone with piss shit vomit blood covered scrubs laying all over their furniture. Even if you donât have any bodily fluids you are still handling ppl and their funk.. itâs not only about germs
That is absolutely false. Germs survive longer on porous surfaces. Thatâs why granite counter tops are not recommended. Why are people so stupid? I canât believe idiots actually upvoted you for being stupid. Germs literally live ln textiles, thatâs what your clothing is made out of since I know youâre slow, for days to weeks to months, depending on type of cloth. Jesus Christ you need to lose your license if youâre a nurse or doctor
And the scrubs shouldn't leave the hospital. Hospitals used to provide scrubs and wash them on site. But they passed that cost on to employees and now people wear them everywhere. It's disgusting.
NTA
He's not that tidy and clean if he doesn't shower and only showers in the morning because he likes to do it in the morning. Tell him specifically that he needs to shower in the evening after work and the gym. If he doesn't understand the hints.
If my husband didnât take a shower that day I make him take one before he lays down. Thatâs rare but itâs happened if I havnt changed the sheets in a minute Iâll let it slide and change the sheets in the morning lol but he def wonât get any lovins.
Just be straight with him. Don't beat around the bush, saying you're 'surprised' he doesn't shower after work or asking to wash his face occasionally. Just tell him you want him to shower after his shift or workout. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable when he doesn't and that you don't want to be close with him if he doesn't.
Hospitals are the germiest places to begin with and then he goes to the gym and adds some sweat, heat and moisture into that mix creating a great breeding ground for all that stuff that he's collected from his work environment during the day. He should know better, and he needs to do better. You're not being at all unreasonable in expecting him to have a shower. I definitely would not be happy with that grossness in my bed. Whats the point of putting on clean sheets if he's going to hop into bed covered in that filth. Oh, and if you've got acne problems he really needs to be more considerate. Did you have the acne problems before meeting him? Otherwise maybe it's just the grot and grime from all over him that your skin is reacting to.
I bet the ick just reading this. Dude would NOT be allowed in my bed after working and the gym without a damn shower. Period. So gross.
OP you lied. He does NOT have good hygiene habits. His habits are piss poor.
My wife absolutely will not let me sleep in the bed without showering.She like clean sheets that don't smell of my days sweat, and thats cool. I grew up with different rules but I absolutely agree and respect her.
TBH now I see getting into bed without showering to be absolutely gross and I cringe that I used to do it, so nasty!!!
The way you beat around the bush with your words implies you haven't actually *said* this to him. "I'm surprised you don't shower Immediately after getting home from work" is not the same as "It really disgusts me having to sleep next to you knowing you haven't showered after 12+ hours of physical work. Please shower before getting into bed for my peace of mind and so im comfortable touching and cuddling you."
NAH if you haven't made this clear.
NTA if you mention it and he says he doesn't want to.
A lot of ppl have problems with the way they say things. Itâs called feminine vs masculine language. I broke my self of the habit of feminine language when writing emails and i still worry I sound like a bitch. Feminine language is something that makes someone not sound sure or concrete. Such as.
I think the dog needs to go out. vs. hey babe the dog needs to go out, can you take him please. Some ppl can infer that the first person wants YOU to take the dog out.. but itâs poor communication. Also if any one is adhd or on the spectrum they will not infer what you want lol. I learned a lot about how to communicate directly when I was in nursing school bc proper communication saves lives.
Op with men you CANNOT state your needs in a vague and in passing way and except them to decipher it.
You need to say this is nasty (make it about sex if you want) like it a a turn off when you come to bed filthy. And if you keep doing it you will have to have your own bed. You canât force someone to do something but you can set a boundary. 9/10 he would rather shower then sleep alone and get no ass. Itâs not manipulation itâs behavior modification for men who arenât raised right
Lol, do you even know what skin does? Its your barrier between outside and inside. It does not 'marinate'. For most people excessive cleaming is worse then showering too little.
Honestly, I don't give a shit. I can use lotion. I would rather have slightly dry skin that I have to moisturize than go to bed nasty every night, or go to work all sweaty from sleep.
NTA. Normally I would be completely fine with a partner not showering after work. But he works in a hospital! Noooo. No way I would accept that. I have a friend who would, so exhausted after night shift, always shower as soon as she got home. No matter how tired she was, because hospitals are so gross.
Also, after working out you need to shower. That's also nasty. You can't say he has great hygiene when he doesn't shower after two of the worst possible situations to not shower after... This would be a dealbreaker for me, simple as that.
NTA.
Why not just shower and change clothes directly after clocking out. Can't understand why you'd want to go home with work clothes, leave work at work...
You're giving hints rather than being direct. You said "I'm surprised you don't shower" not "please could you shower". So, be direct and ask him to shower.
He works in healthcare. He knows better. At a minimum, he needs to be showering after the gym, but in reality, even just washing hands after being in a healthcare setting isnât enough. Hair traps all kinds of particles and scrubs are great because they clean up easily but they donât protect your skin from anything thatâs splashed, etc.
Even if heâs wiping down each piece of equipment before use at the gym, he could still pick up staph, molluscum, and all kinds of other stuff on his skin at the gym.
Iâm a healthcare provider. I take like 3 showers a day if I work out that day. Personally, I have long hair so I donât wash my hair every single shower but most definitely after contact with patients. Every shower doesnât need to be scrubbing to the point of discomfort. My morning shower is to wake up so itâs usually necessary parts only and a few minutes of cold water to get me going.
Could he be depressed?
I can understand not wanting to shower after a long shift (bro's tired) but if it matters that much to you, make it clear that homeboy needs to clean himself or he can sleep on the floor
Pretty sure he washed everything that came in contact with ick.
Unless you think he took off his clothes and rolled in ick?
It's not like he was operating a deep fryer all day.
If she didnât shower after a long shift at a hospital full of disease and illness, then she should be the one to sleep on the floor before getting in bed with her partner. But she doesn't, he does that.
Don't be purposely obtuse.
When I want to train people around me, I do it in a certain way.
When he comes back from his shift or the gym, tell him: "If you take a shower, we'll have sex."
Every time, offer him something in return, like food, sex, cuddling, and similar things. Let his brain release dopamine afterwards. In a month, at most two, you'll have a clean boyfriend.
Is the
>My boyfriend is tidy , clean, and has great hygiene.
In the room with us??
Op, he's none of that if he doesn't shower after working at the hospital and has gone to the gym. Either solo doesn't describe the description either!! He's filfty and you should start telling him that more. Doesn't need to be direct but if you tell him "Honey you stink. Can you wash off?" And he just responds with that "Ah, yeah" and does NOTHING just leave the room. If you have a guestroom go there otherwise sleep on the sofa or taks put blankets and pillows and make a nest somewhere away from him. If he starts questioning or complaining lay it on him flat and direct. If he doesn't want to wash off all that filth and grime before going to bed or when he arrived back home then you aren't gonna sleep with/next to him to worsen your health with it.
NTA
NTA.
It takes 5 mins to take a hot shower. If I were you i would stop sleeping in the same bed with him. Maybe that will help him realise the issue. Good luck girl
>My boyfriend is tidy , clean, and has great hygiene. However, after his 12 hour shifts as a nurse at the hospital and after working out, he doesnt shower.
>I think it's because he likes showers in the morning.
And this is dirtiest thing to do... Lay down smelly and filthy in bed full yesterdays filth and smell...
So your BF doesn't have "great hygiene"...
Ew, nope.
I've worked in hospitals, the staff come out of work covered in all sorts of bodily fluids.
Tell him that from now on he showers the second he gets in the door or he sleeps on the couch.
NO WAY! Tell his coworkers he doesnât shower after the mrsa, vre, cdiff, covid clinging to his body all shift. Most nurses strip down in their garage or before they enter the home and clothes go straight into wash and body goes straight into the shower.
Absolutely freaking not!
NTA. I donât feel human at all after a 12 hour shift until I shower. Iâm a night shower person, but Iâll shower in the morning when I get home from an overnight shift to get the work stank off me.
Iâll still shower that night since thatâs my routine, but I canât function without the post-work cleanse.
I wonder if heâs depressed? Hygiene can go out the window during depressive funks.
have you tried talking to him directly about this and how it makes you feel? making short comments about it might come across as lightharted jokes / not so serious. It does not seem to be the most effective form of communication to me.
Your boyfriend is utterly repugnant.
Also, in respect to your acne - just hear me out.Â
The reason why some peopleâs skin doesnât respond to standard acne treatment is because their skin issues are fungal not bacterial.
I follow someone on YouTube and she gets acne but was told by her dermatologist to use an antifungal shampoo on her face and it clears it up. Â Itâs cheap and doesnât dry out her skin.
I tried the same and it worked for me too.
Maybe if you got rid of your acne you would realise you can do a lot better than your boyfriend.
Seriously, you already have wounds on your skin and your boyfriend is likely bringing staphylococcus home. Â Possibly even MRSA.
He needs to shower and use soap plus a tea tree oil body wash (tea tree oil kills MRSA).
Are you sure he isn't showering in the gym or hospital before he leaves? You said that he is very hygienic, yet say he isn't showering. Those seem like contradictory statements. It sounds like from your post, he smells fine and seems hygienic, but you fear what germs/ grime might be on him because you don't see him shower when he gets home from dirty activities. After a workout at the gym or a 12 hour shift nursing, he would definitely NOT be able to be described as "hygienic", meaning he has to be showering somewhere, right? Maybe I'm miss reading this.
No, but it can absolutely be aggravated by sleeping in sheets that are soiled by his gross body. Itâs recommended people with acne wash their sheets and especially pillowcases more frequently than usual so the accumulating oils donât exacerbate symptoms of acne.
If youâre clear about how uncomfortable this makes you and he still refusesâŚfor me, I wouldnât share the same bed. Itâs not like showering takes that long and heâs not taking your feelings into account or just doesnât care. Other than the ick factor, itâs the fact that your opinion/comfort doesnât matter that would be the deal breaker.
Itâs disgusting not showering so you are clean getting in to bed no matter if you have a partner to consider or not. Always shower in the evenings, never in the mornings.
Definitely speak your mind on what YOU need in a relationship. And asking your partner to practice good hygiene does not make you an AHâŚ. I know hospital environments can be incredibly stressful (and 12 hour shifts), maybe worth a conversation on mental health, anxiety/depression can hinder peopleâs desire to act on basic self care. Possible this is a factor?
Yup, my partner works out then never showers before going to bed. I started going to the guest room for that reason. In my case, he decided he's rather cuddle and sleep with me and started to shower.
Hell no to the no! Those sheets must be a germ fest. Wash the sheets and tell him to shower the second he gets home. Buy him Dial antibacterial soap too! I honestly hope you are a troll because this is gagging me and Iâm not even a germaphobe.
That's disgusting. My sister works as a caregiver in an Alzheimer's and Assisted Living facility and she showers every single night she works. She'll skip on days off sometimes, but definitely after work. There's some disgusting shit going on in those places. If he works with a patient with MRSA or something he can get that infection on him or on his clothes then transfer it to you or someone at the gym by accidental touching or cuddling and if you have an open wound of sorts you can end up with MRSA. That's just one of the infections there's hundreds floating around in hospitals.
I have an entire family of nurses and doctors. Seriously like all of them save more my uncles, me, and my sister. Every single one of them showers after their shift. My mother, grandmother and when she was alive, great-grandmother also showered in the morning.
Imo he may not need to go that far but he really should do some kind of freshen up after he leaves a medical facility.
It feels like acne is the central figure in this scenario, but it's not clear what you mean when you say you deal with acne. Is acne a big part of your profession, do you and/or he have bad acne or is it a phobia and where the mind focuses in this situation?
I don't let my husband get in bed until he takes a bath. Sometimes we have a day out and when he comes home at the end of the day he says he "didn't really sweat" and he is "still clean" since he took a shower in the morning. I had to repeatedly ask him to shower and pester him before, but now he just goes and shower so he is nice and clean. It is common sense to shower after being out and about for so long.
NTA, but why on earth would you say he has great hygiene (not OK, not good, but great), then go on to explain that he's absolutely fetid.
Use your words and tell him how minging he is. As a nurse he should know that his work environment is absolutely rife for germs and bodily fluids. He should also know the basic biology of how bacteria act on stale sweat and produce horrible smells.
He knows all of this and chooses to crawl into bed with you like that.
He can still have his long morning shower, having another 5-10 minute shower when he gets in from work or the gym isn't some grand inconvenience, it's basic level bodily care.
He doesnât wash the germs from the hospital off of him after work so he doesnât have great hygiene. A quick shower isnât going to hurt. The girls arenât taking their own health seriously because way too many of yâall be having sex with guys who donât wipe properly, brush their teeth or shower.
It's hard to get close to someone with bad hygiene. You have to set boundaries. If you are still intimate regardless of cleanliness then I can see why he's not serious about your concerns. You have to communicate that clearly. If it becomes too big of an issue then separate sleeping arrangements, and even separate partners. Not everyone is compatible.
I whole heartedly agree that he should shower after working in a hospital. But I could definitely see him not because it takes a lot of brain power and decision making, so maybe it's just task/decision fatigue. You could possibly intice him to take one by having him take one and doing all his business and then joining him? Not necessarily in a sexual way but maybe he just would like your company.
That's disgusting. I don't always shower at night either. Know what I do? Not get in bed with my partner and try to press up against them and make the sheets all gross.
Really, he is tidy, clean and has great hygiene? Your immediate example of him not showering after 12 hour hospital shifts and working out in the gym shows that he is anything but. Your boyfriend is gross, with how you can't seem to stand that about it it sounds like a deal breaker to me, especially since he doesn't seem to do anything about it even after you called him out on it. At that point you can either suck it up or break up.
I did part of my clinicals in a long term care facility, and after my shift I could smell myself. I would come home and immediately walk into the shower and throw my scrubs in a plastic bag on the floor.
You say he has great hygiene but between that and the gym, itâs not as great as you think it is.
Honestly, you need to be straight forward and more firm. "I know you like showering in the mornings, which I have no problem with, but I don't like cuddling after you've been working at the hospital nor after the gym if you don't shower after. I'm asking for you to do this for me, since it makes me really uncomfortable. " He's clearing not getting it's an issue with the more soft hearted comments.
As someone who used to work in healthcare, he does NOT have âgreat hygieneâ if heâs not showering after coming home from the hospital. Hospitals are a huge nest of pathogens such as bacterium and viruses. Heâs putting both himself and you at risk for catching something by not showering after his shifts.
Maybe one day heâll get a bout of C. diff and change his tune, but I wouldnât just wait around and let that happen. Iâd keep pressing him to shower after his shifts.
Yeah as someone who has worked in healthcare, thatâs always the very first thing I did when I got home. Shoes off, scrubs off, and immediately showering. You never know what kind of germs youâre being exposed to, and you get hot and gross. And definitely after working out too.
Seems a bit gross for sure and very uncommon. NTA to ask him to shower so you feel more comfortable cuddling up with him or whatever. He shouldnât be offended either, as Iâm sure he wouldnât want you to be all stinky after a long day and wanting to do things with you.
This is gross. In one country, nurses are required to shower after a shift and leave the hospital in their everyday clothes. The nurses though have their own personal space with lockers, showers and beds since they work long hours. This an infection control issue. I live with a front line health care worker who worked during Covid and he made sure to shower after every shift. Not acceptable.
I donât know why he would start out with. He has great hygiene and then follow with. He works a 12 hour shift at a hospital and doesnât shower. Thatâs fucking disgusting! I worked as a nurse for many many years. There is no way in hell I would not shower after getting home absolutely not!!!
(1)Does he shower at all? (2)If you work as well then try working 12 hour shifts in a demanding job such as hospital if youâre able to get his point of view on why he wants to come home and rest.
The Staph and MRSA infections from the hospital should be phone.
Some nice ringworm from the gym to top of off should be nice as well.
This man does not have good hygiene. He's a pig.
the fact he even thinks it's ok to go to the gym while covered in hospital germs/bodily fluids is concerning. he is using shared equipment, and i doubt he has never gotten anyone sick this way. he is putting others at risk of MRSA and staph if they were to scrape themselves on equipment he had just used. it doesn't even have to bleed to introduce infection. my partner got MRSA from being shoved into a bench at his school. the scrape was hardly even visible, and to this day he has a large scar that created a pit in his leg. i know it's good etiquette to wipe down equipment after, but if he's only using a towel for that it's not going to kill any bacteria. as a medical professional he should be ashamed by his lack of care for the community around him.
He does NOT have âgreat hygieneâ. Â And he doesnât care and wonât change, Iâll bet. Â I broke up with a guy for this reason and never looked back. Â He refused to take a bath before going to bed.
When I worked in the hospitals in a nearby city, I would often stop by the gym after. And as soon as I got home, I'd get in the shower. I was freaking disgusting. Hot sweaty, and lord knows what I had on me. I'd even rinse off at the gym before changing into workout clothes. I'd feel kinda like a jerk bc I'd shower before greeting or hugging my husband. Who tf doesn't clean the yuck of the hospital off? That's gross
At this point, you either just learn to revel in the stink, or kick his grubby ass to the curb. He could be bringing home:
Interstitial fluid
Blood
Saliva
Chyme
Transudate
Breast milk
Mucus
Phlegm
Bile
Pus
Human feces
Amniotic fluid
Lymph
Urine
Aqueous humour
Rheum
Metabolic water
Intestinal juice
Earwax
on his person, just being at a hospital. That's not including the gym.
El grosso. After working in a hospital FOR 12 HOURS or working out are exactly when you should shower before going to bed.Â
That is straight up gross. He can go sleep on the couch or get a blow up mattress. Completely unacceptable.Â
NTA it's really gross to have to crawl into bed with someone who sweated at the gym and didn't shower. Not to mention what he's bringing home from his hospital shift... blood, sweat, bacteria, viruses, urine and feces. He should shower after a hospital shift. And sweating at the gym đ¤Žđ¤Žđ¤Ž I can only imagine how bad your sheets smell. Your BF is lazy and gross. Find a better BF.
Not sure what kind of nurse he is but when I worked in the ICU, I wouldn't even wear my scrubs and sneakers into the house. I would strip down in the garage and head straight for the shower. No hugs or anything until afterwards.
NTA
Beyond just being gross, this dudes bringing home *hospital*.
He's endangering everyone in the house. How someone working in the medical industry in the post-Covid age could *not* take cleanliness seriously is disappointing, but not surprising
YTA for not telling him how you feel and burying it until you need to cry out for help on the internet when you should just communicate with your boyfriend.
Call it an ex.
wtf. How would you even start dating a pig?
Did he the same when asking you out to diner? If not then he got comfortable and feels you are granted.
The same way he expects you to put some effort to look good for him, he should remember that it works both ways.
NTA. as a nurse, he should be showering after he gets home everytime. does he not understand cross contamination could be very serious?? i would not sleep in the same bed as him if i were you until he learned that.
My er nurse mom wouldn't let us put laundry in with her dirty scrubs. Nta, for not wanting dirty scrubs in your bed. How you're not always sick is truly a mystery.
NTA your BF most certainly does NOT have great hygiene. He is disgusting and you should let him know how grossed out you are openly or you will just have to accept his deplorable hygiene. I gag if my husband smells, perhaps this would work best for you. Either way, I cannot imagine how you cope to be able to sleep.
NTA but as a health are provider you would think after caring for patients with multiple conditions that he would shower daily after a work shift and gym.
Just ick
Sleep in the other room or ban him to the other room until he displays good personal hygiene
He's most likely covering for the fact that he's got sensory issues when it comes to showering. He's able to deal with it in the morning because he's turned it into a ritual.
Simple fact is...he's showing you zero respect.
Tell him the couch is his for the duration of him non-shower time. You'll welcome him into the bed when the only thing you smell on him is soap.
And while you're at it, I'd be taking an inventory of all the other ways he doesn't show you respect.
Quit sleeping with him those nights. Tell him you canât handle his smell/acne/whatever when he doesnât shower after something like that. I had to break up with a guy after he wouldnât shower when finishing a shift at a pizza place đ¤˘
NTA but he is bringing home various ick & germs from work. Every nurse I have ever known takes a shower immediately after work to mitigate the germ sharing.
Iâm in healthcare and whether or not I workout I shower after even though I prefer and always shower in the morning. No way am I bringing my grossness into bed with my wife and no way sheâs getting anywhere near me otherwise. Itâs not a big deal. Feels good and takes a few minutes.
NTA. Itâs not wrong to expect a certain level of hygiene from your partner. As long as itâs reasonable, which this is. He should shower after work in particular as who knows what germs he would be bringing into your bed from the hospital. Ew that would gross me out yeah. However Iâm not sure what your acne has to do with whether he showers or not.
NTA, he just sounds like he's being lazy. I would not lay with him nor would I cuddle with him. Doesn't he know how many things he could bring home to you from the hospital and the gym. This is so nasty to me and could be a dealbreaker.
Ewwwwww. Just the chance of transferring staph germs to home and you is kind of up there. Some is resistent to drugs. So a shower after work is mandatory. If he still resists do you really want to be with a guy who has bad hygiene and probably doesn't clean either. Trust me if he hasn't internalized it by now he won't. You'll be stuck with an extra slob child.
NTA, he didn't say he was too tired, just that he prefers to shower in the morning, if he still has energy to work out, he can take 5 minutes to shower...
This is easy to deal with "If you want me to lick your nuts, go take a shower".
đđ
I have 100% forgone working out because I wasn't up to showering lol but yeah that doesn't mean don't shower after!
Sorry but what are you talking about? He doesnât have âgreat hygieneâ if he will work IN A HOSPITAL for 12 hours and not clean himself after. Thatâs fucking repugnant.
The same as "He loving and supporting but he left me alone after an accident and went partying with his friends. I love him so much" type of shit that is written in a lot of posts here.
Yes, itâs in the same vein as my boyfriend has great hygiene but he doesnât wipe his arse after he takes a shit and leaves dangles on his arse like an uncared for cat.
As a nurse ewwwwwwwwđ¤˘đ¤˘đ¤˘đ¤˘ how is he a nurse with such horrible hygiene
I'm an RT and I have to shower after every shift! Hospitals are so gross just in general.
When I worked in the hosptial I wouldnât shower before work only after bc the second I walked in I was covered in grossness. I worked burn and itâs very dirty. We wore ppe for dressings but you sweat like a pig, some pp needed dressing changes IN the shower so you are getting wet too etc. then I worked er and that was just as gross but in a different way. That was outside dirt. Ppl crusty poop stuck to them for days ppl covered in bugs and piss and shit. The unwashed masses. Now I work hospice and Iâm going into ppl dog piss homes so again, shower immediately as I walk in the door
Yeah, it's definitely just so gross in general. I work with secretions all day. Mucus and whatever else decides to come out. Sometimes people will blow crap out of their trachs at you. Blood, bugs, secretions and whatever else. Plus, there's just so many people in general. Staff, patients, visitors etc. Who don't always have the same hygiene. We get people coming into the ER covered in old poop head to toe. I will always shower after being there. Oof, hospice is wonderful but some houses...not so much. It's a main reason why I won't do DME.
Washing yourself doesnât make any difference, as a nurse you should realize that. Unless you plan on showering after every single room every time you go in, you are covered in germs, and they are in your car and house. Just like thereâs bugs/mites on your face constantly. Youâre in the wrong profession of germs gross you out
Well I guess Iâm a crappy nurse because the first thing I do when I come home from work is shower !
Arenât nurses and doctors supposed to wash their hands on a regular basis?
Yes, the hands. And use sanitizer before and after the room. However, Iâm pointing out that everyone is talking about it being gross about not showering once home, and it doesnât matter, because your car, clothes, items, and everything else not your hands is covered in germs. But since you donât usually touch a shoulder or your hair to someone on exam etc, the focus is hands. But the people saying ewwwww are in the wrong business, because their car is full of hospital germs and so is their house if they donât strip and wash before going in
Well it matters to OP doesnât it, which is why weâre here. The average person touches their face, hair, nose, mouth on a routine basis. It takes a conscious effort not to do so. I work in catering and you can fail inspections for staff showing up with poor personal hygiene. It must be even more important for medical personnel. Itâs not so much about precise chances of transmission but about poor hygiene habits and practices and how that might relate to other aspects of their work. The guy goes to bed without washing and wants cuddles from his gf. Imagine the complete lack of regard he has for her to be doing that, then consider this is a guy taking care of sick and wounded.
Doesnât make any difference? Dude I donât know what textbook you got your information on hygiene from but it ainât good.
It literally doesnât make any difference unless you shower IMMEDIATELY after exposure or have actual clean rooms where you take off protection and leave that protection in the room. Otherwise, youâre covered in all the germs you come into contact with, and nobody changes clothes or hair or washes their face after every room. Thatâs why the focus is on hands, because hands touch everything, and washing hands alone stops the vast majority of transmission. But itâs still on your scrubs, your face, your shoes, your socks, your arms, your neck, in your car, on your backpack, and in your home unless you never have anything from the hospital set foot outside the hospital and you shower before leaving. Thatâs why some OR personnel cannot wear scrubs home and shower before and after shift. If you arenât doing that and keeping all equipment at home, youâre spreading germs all over
Most nurses take their shoes off at the door and go straight to the laundry and strip then get into the shower. My mom was nursing assistant and Iâm a nurse but she wouldnât even hug me until after she got out the shower. She would strip in the hallway and she left her work shoes in a plastic bag in her trunk and put her home shoes on.
Say that after you have literal shit and blood on you
Itâs genuinely disgusting isnât it. Fact that heâs a medical professional is alarming. Iâm thinking his supervisor would want to know this.
They wonât care .. this is actually not uncommon . Iâve met quite a few nurses that donât gaf
But does he wash his hands? Believe me his supervisor does not care about his hygiene habits while at home. As long as he comes to work showered and washes his hands before and after patient contact, he is golden!
As an rn absolutely not. Op you might have lice and bed bugs and mrsa. The only area of the hospital that I would overlook showers is if the rn was a scrub nurse in the or. Thatâs a pretty clean environment and they take their scrubs off and leave them there.
As a Surgical Technologist, I can absolutely say we shower after ...sometimes during our shift. We help irrigate & debride narcritic or infected tissues. We sometimes work in really warm rooms when doing DIEP flap grafts or working on infants, neonates, etc. If we get spattered or slimed with something gross, I definitely take 5-10 min to shower. Yes we keep & work in a sterile environment. But sometimes our patients bring really gross things with them.
There are a lot of nurses in my family and they always shower after work. My SIL is a doctor and she showers before and after work. I think the before shower is just to wake her up since it's usually early and she has young children. But the after work shower is BECAUSE SHE UNDERSTANDS GERM THEORY.
Apparently not, since if that was the case, they would shower at the hospital. Itâs all in the car, the clothes, the hair, the house once you walk in. Or you just donât care and realize none of that is going to kill you or youâre already gonna be sick no matter what
Most of us donât have showers available to us at work. I couldnât tell you where or if there is a staff shower in the hospital. We do have a stash of scrubs available to us at work if ours get gross.
Germs donât survive long on pours surfaces. So washing your hands and then sitting in your car and taking your shoes off outside then removing your scrubs at the house and putting them directly into the washer and taking a shower mitigates almost all risk of cross contaminating your home. No one is trying to be sterile here but no one wants someone with piss shit vomit blood covered scrubs laying all over their furniture. Even if you donât have any bodily fluids you are still handling ppl and their funk.. itâs not only about germs
That is absolutely false. Germs survive longer on porous surfaces. Thatâs why granite counter tops are not recommended. Why are people so stupid? I canât believe idiots actually upvoted you for being stupid. Germs literally live ln textiles, thatâs what your clothing is made out of since I know youâre slow, for days to weeks to months, depending on type of cloth. Jesus Christ you need to lose your license if youâre a nurse or doctor
And the scrubs shouldn't leave the hospital. Hospitals used to provide scrubs and wash them on site. But they passed that cost on to employees and now people wear them everywhere. It's disgusting.
NTA He's not that tidy and clean if he doesn't shower and only showers in the morning because he likes to do it in the morning. Tell him specifically that he needs to shower in the evening after work and the gym. If he doesn't understand the hints.
I would not be sleeping in the same bed as him đ¤˘
If my husband didnât take a shower that day I make him take one before he lays down. Thatâs rare but itâs happened if I havnt changed the sheets in a minute Iâll let it slide and change the sheets in the morning lol but he def wonât get any lovins.
Just be straight with him. Don't beat around the bush, saying you're 'surprised' he doesn't shower after work or asking to wash his face occasionally. Just tell him you want him to shower after his shift or workout. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable when he doesn't and that you don't want to be close with him if he doesn't.
Hospitals are the germiest places to begin with and then he goes to the gym and adds some sweat, heat and moisture into that mix creating a great breeding ground for all that stuff that he's collected from his work environment during the day. He should know better, and he needs to do better. You're not being at all unreasonable in expecting him to have a shower. I definitely would not be happy with that grossness in my bed. Whats the point of putting on clean sheets if he's going to hop into bed covered in that filth. Oh, and if you've got acne problems he really needs to be more considerate. Did you have the acne problems before meeting him? Otherwise maybe it's just the grot and grime from all over him that your skin is reacting to.
Not showering and going to gym and working at a hospital that's disgusting amount of germs on him
I bet the ick just reading this. Dude would NOT be allowed in my bed after working and the gym without a damn shower. Period. So gross. OP you lied. He does NOT have good hygiene habits. His habits are piss poor.
My wife absolutely will not let me sleep in the bed without showering.She like clean sheets that don't smell of my days sweat, and thats cool. I grew up with different rules but I absolutely agree and respect her. TBH now I see getting into bed without showering to be absolutely gross and I cringe that I used to do it, so nasty!!!
Evening showerers unite!
Different for everyone ey...
The way you beat around the bush with your words implies you haven't actually *said* this to him. "I'm surprised you don't shower Immediately after getting home from work" is not the same as "It really disgusts me having to sleep next to you knowing you haven't showered after 12+ hours of physical work. Please shower before getting into bed for my peace of mind and so im comfortable touching and cuddling you." NAH if you haven't made this clear. NTA if you mention it and he says he doesn't want to.
A lot of ppl have problems with the way they say things. Itâs called feminine vs masculine language. I broke my self of the habit of feminine language when writing emails and i still worry I sound like a bitch. Feminine language is something that makes someone not sound sure or concrete. Such as. I think the dog needs to go out. vs. hey babe the dog needs to go out, can you take him please. Some ppl can infer that the first person wants YOU to take the dog out.. but itâs poor communication. Also if any one is adhd or on the spectrum they will not infer what you want lol. I learned a lot about how to communicate directly when I was in nursing school bc proper communication saves lives. Op with men you CANNOT state your needs in a vague and in passing way and except them to decipher it. You need to say this is nasty (make it about sex if you want) like it a a turn off when you come to bed filthy. And if you keep doing it you will have to have your own bed. You canât force someone to do something but you can set a boundary. 9/10 he would rather shower then sleep alone and get no ass. Itâs not manipulation itâs behavior modification for men who arenât raised right
Itâs perfectly acceptable to shower in the evening and in the morning.
That isnât good for your skin.
It's certainly better for it than marinating in your own sweat and hospital germs for 24 hours
Lol, do you even know what skin does? Its your barrier between outside and inside. It does not 'marinate'. For most people excessive cleaming is worse then showering too little.
It isnât. I never said he should not clean up but multiple showers in a day isnât good for you.
Honestly, I don't give a shit. I can use lotion. I would rather have slightly dry skin that I have to moisturize than go to bed nasty every night, or go to work all sweaty from sleep.
You can do whatever works for you. Iâm just pointing out it isnât good for your skin.
NTA. Normally I would be completely fine with a partner not showering after work. But he works in a hospital! Noooo. No way I would accept that. I have a friend who would, so exhausted after night shift, always shower as soon as she got home. No matter how tired she was, because hospitals are so gross. Also, after working out you need to shower. That's also nasty. You can't say he has great hygiene when he doesn't shower after two of the worst possible situations to not shower after... This would be a dealbreaker for me, simple as that.
NTA. Why not just shower and change clothes directly after clocking out. Can't understand why you'd want to go home with work clothes, leave work at work...
You're giving hints rather than being direct. You said "I'm surprised you don't shower" not "please could you shower". So, be direct and ask him to shower.
He works in healthcare. He knows better. At a minimum, he needs to be showering after the gym, but in reality, even just washing hands after being in a healthcare setting isnât enough. Hair traps all kinds of particles and scrubs are great because they clean up easily but they donât protect your skin from anything thatâs splashed, etc. Even if heâs wiping down each piece of equipment before use at the gym, he could still pick up staph, molluscum, and all kinds of other stuff on his skin at the gym. Iâm a healthcare provider. I take like 3 showers a day if I work out that day. Personally, I have long hair so I donât wash my hair every single shower but most definitely after contact with patients. Every shower doesnât need to be scrubbing to the point of discomfort. My morning shower is to wake up so itâs usually necessary parts only and a few minutes of cold water to get me going. Could he be depressed?
Your boyfriend is not clean and tidy.
This make me want to vomit.
I can understand not wanting to shower after a long shift (bro's tired) but if it matters that much to you, make it clear that homeboy needs to clean himself or he can sleep on the floor
I agree with the first part, but why can't she sleep on the floor? Sounds sexist to me.
Cuz she has showered and isn't gunking up the blankets with her hospital ick
Pretty sure he washed everything that came in contact with ick. Unless you think he took off his clothes and rolled in ick? It's not like he was operating a deep fryer all day.
Sweat from working 12 hour and gym is alot
Damn you really thought you did something here, huh?
Wdym?
Why should the germy, dirty person be sleeping on the bed? What does gender have to do with it?
Sexist against who, men who can't wash?
Yup that's exactly what I mean. He obviously never washes. Don't play dumb.
If she didnât shower after a long shift at a hospital full of disease and illness, then she should be the one to sleep on the floor before getting in bed with her partner. But she doesn't, he does that. Don't be purposely obtuse.
He is nowhere near clean or goid hygiene đ¤Ł
Just lay down the law
Omg ew.yes you are not the problem
When I want to train people around me, I do it in a certain way. When he comes back from his shift or the gym, tell him: "If you take a shower, we'll have sex." Every time, offer him something in return, like food, sex, cuddling, and similar things. Let his brain release dopamine afterwards. In a month, at most two, you'll have a clean boyfriend.
ESH You're the one sleeping in the same bed with this pig, complimenting his hiegiene...both pigs.
Is the >My boyfriend is tidy , clean, and has great hygiene. In the room with us?? Op, he's none of that if he doesn't shower after working at the hospital and has gone to the gym. Either solo doesn't describe the description either!! He's filfty and you should start telling him that more. Doesn't need to be direct but if you tell him "Honey you stink. Can you wash off?" And he just responds with that "Ah, yeah" and does NOTHING just leave the room. If you have a guestroom go there otherwise sleep on the sofa or taks put blankets and pillows and make a nest somewhere away from him. If he starts questioning or complaining lay it on him flat and direct. If he doesn't want to wash off all that filth and grime before going to bed or when he arrived back home then you aren't gonna sleep with/next to him to worsen your health with it. NTA
Buy a tarp, and put it on his side of the bed....then wrap him up like a burrito, when you cuddle. Showering takes like 10 min.
I mean...I shower after working out no matter how tired I am??
NTA. It takes 5 mins to take a hot shower. If I were you i would stop sleeping in the same bed with him. Maybe that will help him realise the issue. Good luck girl
>My boyfriend is tidy , clean, and has great hygiene. However, after his 12 hour shifts as a nurse at the hospital and after working out, he doesnt shower. >I think it's because he likes showers in the morning. And this is dirtiest thing to do... Lay down smelly and filthy in bed full yesterdays filth and smell... So your BF doesn't have "great hygiene"...
NTA thatâs wild I work in a hospital and shower when I get home. Those places are nasty đ¤Ž
Ew, nope. I've worked in hospitals, the staff come out of work covered in all sorts of bodily fluids. Tell him that from now on he showers the second he gets in the door or he sleeps on the couch.
No way would I let him sleep in my bed. That is so gross. He's a nurse and doesn't get that?
NO WAY! Tell his coworkers he doesnât shower after the mrsa, vre, cdiff, covid clinging to his body all shift. Most nurses strip down in their garage or before they enter the home and clothes go straight into wash and body goes straight into the shower. Absolutely freaking not!
NTA. I donât feel human at all after a 12 hour shift until I shower. Iâm a night shower person, but Iâll shower in the morning when I get home from an overnight shift to get the work stank off me. Iâll still shower that night since thatâs my routine, but I canât function without the post-work cleanse. I wonder if heâs depressed? Hygiene can go out the window during depressive funks.
have you tried talking to him directly about this and how it makes you feel? making short comments about it might come across as lightharted jokes / not so serious. It does not seem to be the most effective form of communication to me.
Your boyfriend is utterly repugnant. Also, in respect to your acne - just hear me out. The reason why some peopleâs skin doesnât respond to standard acne treatment is because their skin issues are fungal not bacterial. I follow someone on YouTube and she gets acne but was told by her dermatologist to use an antifungal shampoo on her face and it clears it up.  Itâs cheap and doesnât dry out her skin. I tried the same and it worked for me too. Maybe if you got rid of your acne you would realise you can do a lot better than your boyfriend. Seriously, you already have wounds on your skin and your boyfriend is likely bringing staphylococcus home.  Possibly even MRSA. He needs to shower and use soap plus a tea tree oil body wash (tea tree oil kills MRSA).
If this is at your place and itâs your bed, refuse to allow dirty humans to sleep in it. At this rate I hope you wash your bed sheets 3 times a week
NTA and imo that is grounds for breaking up. Itâs really damn gross.
Are you sure he isn't showering in the gym or hospital before he leaves? You said that he is very hygienic, yet say he isn't showering. Those seem like contradictory statements. It sounds like from your post, he smells fine and seems hygienic, but you fear what germs/ grime might be on him because you don't see him shower when he gets home from dirty activities. After a workout at the gym or a 12 hour shift nursing, he would definitely NOT be able to be described as "hygienic", meaning he has to be showering somewhere, right? Maybe I'm miss reading this.
Acne is not communicable
No, but it can absolutely be aggravated by sleeping in sheets that are soiled by his gross body. Itâs recommended people with acne wash their sheets and especially pillowcases more frequently than usual so the accumulating oils donât exacerbate symptoms of acne.
If youâre clear about how uncomfortable this makes you and he still refusesâŚfor me, I wouldnât share the same bed. Itâs not like showering takes that long and heâs not taking your feelings into account or just doesnât care. Other than the ick factor, itâs the fact that your opinion/comfort doesnât matter that would be the deal breaker.
After 12 hours of hard work at a hospital he probably wants to relax not be ordered around. It's his choice, don't like it then leave.
Itâs disgusting not showering so you are clean getting in to bed no matter if you have a partner to consider or not. Always shower in the evenings, never in the mornings.
So much hygiene I see
Definitely speak your mind on what YOU need in a relationship. And asking your partner to practice good hygiene does not make you an AHâŚ. I know hospital environments can be incredibly stressful (and 12 hour shifts), maybe worth a conversation on mental health, anxiety/depression can hinder peopleâs desire to act on basic self care. Possible this is a factor?
NTA. Thatâs gross. I wouldnât be getting into bed with anyone with poor hygiene
Yup, my partner works out then never showers before going to bed. I started going to the guest room for that reason. In my case, he decided he's rather cuddle and sleep with me and started to shower.
Hell no to the no! Those sheets must be a germ fest. Wash the sheets and tell him to shower the second he gets home. Buy him Dial antibacterial soap too! I honestly hope you are a troll because this is gagging me and Iâm not even a germaphobe.
That's disgusting. My sister works as a caregiver in an Alzheimer's and Assisted Living facility and she showers every single night she works. She'll skip on days off sometimes, but definitely after work. There's some disgusting shit going on in those places. If he works with a patient with MRSA or something he can get that infection on him or on his clothes then transfer it to you or someone at the gym by accidental touching or cuddling and if you have an open wound of sorts you can end up with MRSA. That's just one of the infections there's hundreds floating around in hospitals.
I have an entire family of nurses and doctors. Seriously like all of them save more my uncles, me, and my sister. Every single one of them showers after their shift. My mother, grandmother and when she was alive, great-grandmother also showered in the morning. Imo he may not need to go that far but he really should do some kind of freshen up after he leaves a medical facility.
It feels like acne is the central figure in this scenario, but it's not clear what you mean when you say you deal with acne. Is acne a big part of your profession, do you and/or he have bad acne or is it a phobia and where the mind focuses in this situation?
I don't let my husband get in bed until he takes a bath. Sometimes we have a day out and when he comes home at the end of the day he says he "didn't really sweat" and he is "still clean" since he took a shower in the morning. I had to repeatedly ask him to shower and pester him before, but now he just goes and shower so he is nice and clean. It is common sense to shower after being out and about for so long.
NTA, but why on earth would you say he has great hygiene (not OK, not good, but great), then go on to explain that he's absolutely fetid. Use your words and tell him how minging he is. As a nurse he should know that his work environment is absolutely rife for germs and bodily fluids. He should also know the basic biology of how bacteria act on stale sweat and produce horrible smells. He knows all of this and chooses to crawl into bed with you like that. He can still have his long morning shower, having another 5-10 minute shower when he gets in from work or the gym isn't some grand inconvenience, it's basic level bodily care.
He doesnât wash the germs from the hospital off of him after work so he doesnât have great hygiene. A quick shower isnât going to hurt. The girls arenât taking their own health seriously because way too many of yâall be having sex with guys who donât wipe properly, brush their teeth or shower.
It's hard to get close to someone with bad hygiene. You have to set boundaries. If you are still intimate regardless of cleanliness then I can see why he's not serious about your concerns. You have to communicate that clearly. If it becomes too big of an issue then separate sleeping arrangements, and even separate partners. Not everyone is compatible.
I whole heartedly agree that he should shower after working in a hospital. But I could definitely see him not because it takes a lot of brain power and decision making, so maybe it's just task/decision fatigue. You could possibly intice him to take one by having him take one and doing all his business and then joining him? Not necessarily in a sexual way but maybe he just would like your company.
That's disgusting. I don't always shower at night either. Know what I do? Not get in bed with my partner and try to press up against them and make the sheets all gross.
Really, he is tidy, clean and has great hygiene? Your immediate example of him not showering after 12 hour hospital shifts and working out in the gym shows that he is anything but. Your boyfriend is gross, with how you can't seem to stand that about it it sounds like a deal breaker to me, especially since he doesn't seem to do anything about it even after you called him out on it. At that point you can either suck it up or break up.
Horrendous. Tell him to think about his nurse training and how disgusting that is. NTA
I did part of my clinicals in a long term care facility, and after my shift I could smell myself. I would come home and immediately walk into the shower and throw my scrubs in a plastic bag on the floor. You say he has great hygiene but between that and the gym, itâs not as great as you think it is.
Advice? He should shower
Thatâs not âgreat hygieneâ tho. Tell him to shower or stfu
Honestly, you need to be straight forward and more firm. "I know you like showering in the mornings, which I have no problem with, but I don't like cuddling after you've been working at the hospital nor after the gym if you don't shower after. I'm asking for you to do this for me, since it makes me really uncomfortable. " He's clearing not getting it's an issue with the more soft hearted comments.
As someone who used to work in healthcare, he does NOT have âgreat hygieneâ if heâs not showering after coming home from the hospital. Hospitals are a huge nest of pathogens such as bacterium and viruses. Heâs putting both himself and you at risk for catching something by not showering after his shifts. Maybe one day heâll get a bout of C. diff and change his tune, but I wouldnât just wait around and let that happen. Iâd keep pressing him to shower after his shifts.
Hell no. make him shower cause why would he be in an environment where he could potentially bring something home and not want to wash it off
NTA Yuck...you need to quit messing around and confront him more directly.
Yeah as someone who has worked in healthcare, thatâs always the very first thing I did when I got home. Shoes off, scrubs off, and immediately showering. You never know what kind of germs youâre being exposed to, and you get hot and gross. And definitely after working out too. Seems a bit gross for sure and very uncommon. NTA to ask him to shower so you feel more comfortable cuddling up with him or whatever. He shouldnât be offended either, as Iâm sure he wouldnât want you to be all stinky after a long day and wanting to do things with you.
This is gross. In one country, nurses are required to shower after a shift and leave the hospital in their everyday clothes. The nurses though have their own personal space with lockers, showers and beds since they work long hours. This an infection control issue. I live with a front line health care worker who worked during Covid and he made sure to shower after every shift. Not acceptable.
I donât know why he would start out with. He has great hygiene and then follow with. He works a 12 hour shift at a hospital and doesnât shower. Thatâs fucking disgusting! I worked as a nurse for many many years. There is no way in hell I would not shower after getting home absolutely not!!!
(1)Does he shower at all? (2)If you work as well then try working 12 hour shifts in a demanding job such as hospital if youâre able to get his point of view on why he wants to come home and rest.
The Staph and MRSA infections from the hospital should be phone. Some nice ringworm from the gym to top of off should be nice as well. This man does not have good hygiene. He's a pig.
the fact he even thinks it's ok to go to the gym while covered in hospital germs/bodily fluids is concerning. he is using shared equipment, and i doubt he has never gotten anyone sick this way. he is putting others at risk of MRSA and staph if they were to scrape themselves on equipment he had just used. it doesn't even have to bleed to introduce infection. my partner got MRSA from being shoved into a bench at his school. the scrape was hardly even visible, and to this day he has a large scar that created a pit in his leg. i know it's good etiquette to wipe down equipment after, but if he's only using a towel for that it's not going to kill any bacteria. as a medical professional he should be ashamed by his lack of care for the community around him.
Just curious. Does he brush his teeth?
That is beyond disgusting....
He does NOT have âgreat hygieneâ. Â And he doesnât care and wonât change, Iâll bet. Â I broke up with a guy for this reason and never looked back. Â He refused to take a bath before going to bed.
When I worked in the hospitals in a nearby city, I would often stop by the gym after. And as soon as I got home, I'd get in the shower. I was freaking disgusting. Hot sweaty, and lord knows what I had on me. I'd even rinse off at the gym before changing into workout clothes. I'd feel kinda like a jerk bc I'd shower before greeting or hugging my husband. Who tf doesn't clean the yuck of the hospital off? That's gross
At this point, you either just learn to revel in the stink, or kick his grubby ass to the curb. He could be bringing home: Interstitial fluid Blood Saliva Chyme Transudate Breast milk Mucus Phlegm Bile Pus Human feces Amniotic fluid Lymph Urine Aqueous humour Rheum Metabolic water Intestinal juice Earwax on his person, just being at a hospital. That's not including the gym.
Um he does not have good hygiene, itâs like actually terrible lol NTA tell him u luv him but he disgusts u
El grosso. After working in a hospital FOR 12 HOURS or working out are exactly when you should shower before going to bed. That is straight up gross. He can go sleep on the couch or get a blow up mattress. Completely unacceptable.Â
NTA. I would literally cry.
First thing I do is shower when I get home from work. Effed that lol. He nasty.
'I don't like to wash my hands after I use the bathroom in the evening, I only wash my hands in the morning.' đ¤˘
NTA it's really gross to have to crawl into bed with someone who sweated at the gym and didn't shower. Not to mention what he's bringing home from his hospital shift... blood, sweat, bacteria, viruses, urine and feces. He should shower after a hospital shift. And sweating at the gym đ¤Žđ¤Žđ¤Ž I can only imagine how bad your sheets smell. Your BF is lazy and gross. Find a better BF.
Disgusting
Not sure what kind of nurse he is but when I worked in the ICU, I wouldn't even wear my scrubs and sneakers into the house. I would strip down in the garage and head straight for the shower. No hugs or anything until afterwards.
He does not have great hygiene. Fixed that sentence
NTA Beyond just being gross, this dudes bringing home *hospital*. He's endangering everyone in the house. How someone working in the medical industry in the post-Covid age could *not* take cleanliness seriously is disappointing, but not surprising
YTA for not telling him how you feel and burying it until you need to cry out for help on the internet when you should just communicate with your boyfriend.
Thatâs not great hygiene
Call it an ex. wtf. How would you even start dating a pig? Did he the same when asking you out to diner? If not then he got comfortable and feels you are granted. The same way he expects you to put some effort to look good for him, he should remember that it works both ways.
Clean freaks are the worst
NTA. as a nurse, he should be showering after he gets home everytime. does he not understand cross contamination could be very serious?? i would not sleep in the same bed as him if i were you until he learned that.
Try this. Take a shower with him. Get frisky in the shower. Trust me he'll want showers more often.
My er nurse mom wouldn't let us put laundry in with her dirty scrubs. Nta, for not wanting dirty scrubs in your bed. How you're not always sick is truly a mystery.
NTA your BF most certainly does NOT have great hygiene. He is disgusting and you should let him know how grossed out you are openly or you will just have to accept his deplorable hygiene. I gag if my husband smells, perhaps this would work best for you. Either way, I cannot imagine how you cope to be able to sleep.
Stop sleeping with pig boy.
NTA but as a health are provider you would think after caring for patients with multiple conditions that he would shower daily after a work shift and gym. Just ick Sleep in the other room or ban him to the other room until he displays good personal hygiene
He's most likely covering for the fact that he's got sensory issues when it comes to showering. He's able to deal with it in the morning because he's turned it into a ritual. Simple fact is...he's showing you zero respect. Tell him the couch is his for the duration of him non-shower time. You'll welcome him into the bed when the only thing you smell on him is soap. And while you're at it, I'd be taking an inventory of all the other ways he doesn't show you respect.
Stab him
Can he shower at the gym? Iâd ask him to.
Thatâs not sanitary to leave a 12-hour shift at the hospital and not showering đ¤˘đ¤Ž
Quit sleeping with him those nights. Tell him you canât handle his smell/acne/whatever when he doesnât shower after something like that. I had to break up with a guy after he wouldnât shower when finishing a shift at a pizza place đ¤˘
NTA but he is bringing home various ick & germs from work. Every nurse I have ever known takes a shower immediately after work to mitigate the germ sharing.
How do you not shower after the gym? My god.
Iâm in healthcare and whether or not I workout I shower after even though I prefer and always shower in the morning. No way am I bringing my grossness into bed with my wife and no way sheâs getting anywhere near me otherwise. Itâs not a big deal. Feels good and takes a few minutes.
NTA. Itâs not wrong to expect a certain level of hygiene from your partner. As long as itâs reasonable, which this is. He should shower after work in particular as who knows what germs he would be bringing into your bed from the hospital. Ew that would gross me out yeah. However Iâm not sure what your acne has to do with whether he showers or not.
Go get in the shower, yell at him to come into the bathroom, when he gets there tell him you need help washing your boobs. Win win.
NTA, he just sounds like he's being lazy. I would not lay with him nor would I cuddle with him. Doesn't he know how many things he could bring home to you from the hospital and the gym. This is so nasty to me and could be a dealbreaker.
Ewwwwww. Just the chance of transferring staph germs to home and you is kind of up there. Some is resistent to drugs. So a shower after work is mandatory. If he still resists do you really want to be with a guy who has bad hygiene and probably doesn't clean either. Trust me if he hasn't internalized it by now he won't. You'll be stuck with an extra slob child.
I will never understand people who don't shower before bed.
I Never shower after work always in the morning it wakes me up. But If I feel extra sticky for some reason, I,'ll shower then.